


I Don't Feel Like Dancing (The Remix)

by half_rice



Series: Can I Have This Dance [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Baseball, Alternate Universe - High School, Bullying, Homophobia, Lots of family drama, M/M, Slow Burn, felix has a minecraft channel LMAO, lots of cameos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-21 06:00:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 69
Words: 273,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21294692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/half_rice/pseuds/half_rice
Summary: Changbin is the captain of a high school baseball team that he feels doesn't need him. Felix begs to differ.A slowburn (hardly) baseball anime AU sequel that has ended up literally and figuratively all over the place.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin & Kim Seungmin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Series: Can I Have This Dance [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1422808
Comments: 1602
Kudos: 1355





	1. Brotherhood without the Blood

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. I don't think this fic will make any sense if you haven't read the first fic in the series... quite a lot happened  
2\. Quite a lot has happened IRL, too, so I've had to edit this fic quite a bit  
3\. Hyunjoon irl is no longer with his group, but since HE hasn't done anything to make me hate him and this is a goddamn AU anyway: I will proceed as planned. If reading his name makes you feel a bad kind of funny inside, that's fine, don't read this.
> 
> Enjoy! ❤  
\- Rice 10/03/20

“Cap! Hey, Cap!”

Changbin’s trying arrange his books in his locker, but he’d forgotten his bookend at home, and they keep tipping over. _God fucking damn-_

“Cap!” Someone pats Changbin on the shoulder before he launches his textbooks out the window.

Changbin turns to find Felix looking at him earnestly, but then again, that’s always what Felix looks like.

“So, Cap, are you ready for the assembly later?” Felix asks.

Changbin stares at him for a moment. _Right… I’m the Cap now… What the fuck is a captain supposed to act like? _

“Yeah, I mean, it’s _just _an assembly, right? I’ve been to loads of-” Changbin tries to lean casually on the lockers, but his books tip over and slide out of his locker, slapping loudly on the floor one by one.

“Oh no,” Felix says quietly, dropping to his knees to pick up Changbin’s books. “Sorry.”

“W- Wait, stop, uh, d- don’t mind them-” Changbin stammers out guiltily, crouching over to pick up the books himself.

“SEO CHANGBIN!” A voice echoes, from too far down the hallway to be shouting at Changbin. “GUESS WHO’S THE GREATEST VIDEO PRODUCER OF ALL TIME?”

Changbin manages to gently pry his books from Felix, who’d been clutching them to his chest. He shoves the books into his locker and slams it shut before they can slip out again.

“CHANGBIN!”

“Jesus, Jisung, my fucking eardrums.” Changbin rolls his eyes as he turns to Jisung, who’s still a couple meters away.

“You owe me big time. Like, organ donation kind of big time.” Jisung says, digging around his very deep pockets. Changbin’s got the vague notion that there’s no knockoff adidas sweatpants version of their uniform, but that’s exactly what Jisung had decided to wear to the first day of school. Jisung grins as he reaches deeper into his pockets. “Like, if I asked for your abs, you’d have to give them up kind of- Here it is!”

Jisung holds up a beat-up green flash drive.

Changbin frowns. “What’s-”

“The video? For the assembly?” Jisung tosses the flash drive into the air and catches it again. “Where you’re gonna talk in front of the whole school?”

Changbin feels all the blood rush down to his toes. “How could I forget.”

“We have a _video_?” Felix grins. “Awesome!”

“Yeah, we’re gonna have so many signups we’ll have to make a Team B to Z,” Jisung says, crossing his arms confidently.

Changbin takes the flash drive from Jisung, grimacing. “Hey, Jisung, could I borrow your laptop?”

Jisung narrows his eyes at Changbin. “What for?”

“I just wanna check the video.” Changbin says.

“_What_?” Jisung squawks. “It’s perfect! I stayed up _all_ night making that-” He does a sloppy chef’s kiss. “-_fucking masterpiece_!”

Changbin shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Can I just borrow your laptop-”

“You can borrow mine.” Felix offers.

“What the fuck happened to yours anyway?” Jisung frowns.

“It got broken over the summer.” Changbin says, in the most emotionless tone he can muster.

“Yikes.” Jisung lets out a low whistle. “Yeah, sure you can borrow my laptop before-”

The bell rings before Jisung can even finish his sentence. Changbin sighs. With his schedule this year, he won’t have time to check the video out before the assembly. _So whatever the fuck Jisung made is gonna have to do._

Jisung shoots Changbin two finger guns before turning to dash off to his classroom, but he trips on the edge of his too-long sweatpants and slams into the lockers.

_We’re fucking screwed. _

Changbin can feel his seatmate staring him down for clicking his pen like a maniac, but he can’t help it. His homeroom teacher’s calling out the attendance as his other classmates file in, muttering apologies for being late. Changbin’s breath catches in his throat every time the door swings open, but the past seven people hadn’t been Chan.

Changbin doesn’t even know why he’s so afraid. _Of Chan?_

“Good god, everyone, it’s the _first_ day of school!” Their homeroom teacher groans, tapping her clipboard irritably. “Let’s start as we mean to go on.”

“Late?” Someone snickers from the back row. The entire back row breaks out into quiet wheezes of laughter.

The homeroom teacher slaps her clipboard onto her desk irritably. “Seo Changbin!”

Changbin sits up straight, dropping his pen onto his desk. “Y- Yes ma’am?”

“Vice Principal Bae wants to see you in her office immediately.”

Changbin’s classmates let out a low _ooohhh_ as he stands up slowly.

“W- What-” Changbin doesn’t know whether he ought to bring his bag or not, because he’s never been called to the vice principal’s office in his entire high school career. “Did she say why?”

“No.” The homeroom teacher frowns at Changbin like he’s wasting her time. “Don’t keep the vice principal waiting, Seo.”

Changbin starts for the door, and just as he opens it, he hears his classmate at the back say, “Changbin’s really starting as he means to go on, huh?”

He hears half the class break out into barely contained laughter just as he closes the door behind him.

Changbin pulls his mouth into a scowl.

Someone knocks into Changbin, sending him into the nearest bulletin board. “Oh man, sorry, man- Changbin!”

Changbin blinks, hoping maybe he’ll see someone else if he blinks hard enough. It doesn’t work. “Hi Chan.”

“I’m so late, oh god,” Chan laughs nervously. “You think the homeroom teacher’s gonna be really pissed if I just walk in right now?”

Changbin still can’t believe his own luck. _Of all the classes to be in… Chan’s in mine???_

“Maybe. Seems like she’s in a bad mood.”

“Oh crap.” Chan makes a face, then shrugs. “Oh well, uh, wish me luck?”

“Good luck.” Changbin tries to sound as good-natured as he can.

Chan slides open the door and immediately starts drowning the homeroom teacher in apologies before she can even take a breath to scold him.

Changbin’s had enough. He spins on his heel and starts marching towards the vice principal’s office.

Changbin eventually gets back to his classroom to find that one of his other classmates has taken his seat. And thrown his bag onto the floor. _What an asshole_.

He walks over calmly, and, while giving said classmate the iciest death glare he’s capable of, picks up all his stuff off the floor.

“Changbin, over here!”

In a moment of panic, Changbin thinks that it must be Chan calling him over, but then his common sense kicks in. _No, that’s not Chan’s voice _at all_. Where’s Chan?_

Changbin lugs his stuff over to the front corner seat his classmate’s calling him to. “Hi Mina.”

“What’s up?” Mina grins. “I was _so_ late today. Mrs. Homeroom chewed me out like a dog toy.”

“She has a name, you know.” Changbin drapes his blazer over the back of his seat, trying to smooth it out, because that incredible asshole who’d taken his seat had just thrown it in a heap on the floor.

“Yeah? What is it?”

“Dunno,” Changbin admits as he looks around the class. “Where’s Chan?”

“Bang Chan?” Mina asks. “He’s in Class B.”

Changbin hopes he doesn’t look as happy as he feels. “Really?”

“Yeah, it was awkward as hell,” The guy sitting behind Changbin says, propping his feet up on the back of Changbin’s seat. “He walked in here bowing and everything and Mrs. Homeroom was all like, _This is how you all should behave,_ and then it turns out he’s not even in this class.”

“Don’t be mean, Chanhee,” Mina pouts. “He was doing his best.”

Chanhee and Mina keep arguing with each other, but it all becomes white noise to Changbin, who’s humming contentedly in his seat while he arranges his things under his desk. _Sorry, Chan, but I’m glad you’re not here._

The door swings open, and the math teacher steps in. Changbin sits up. There’s only one class he ever looks forward to, and it’s Math. _Because it never lets me down. _

“Hi everyone, I’m sorry, I’m not your math teacher this year. Don’t know if that’s a good thing or not,” The math teacher lets out a self-deprecating laugh. “But anyway, your real math teacher’s new, and I think they’ll be coming in next Monday-”

Chanhee’s hand shoots up before the math teacher can finish her sentence.

“Yes?”

“Does this mean we don’t have Math for the _whole_ week?” Chanhee asks without wasting a breath.

The math teacher grimaces. “Yes, I believe so.”

The class erupts into cheers, and despite his disappointment, Changbin manages a smile.

“You’ve got this, dude, you have _got_ this.”

“Are you talking to yourself?” Chan asks from Changbin’s left.

_Oh fuck. I said that out loud. _Changbin resists the urge to slap himself in the face. He takes a breath. _Why does the auditorium have to have a stage? And lights? And why are there so many people in school? And what the _fuck_ is that spotlight for? _

“Okay, baseball team captain, you’re up next.” The student council secretary says, tapping Chan on the arm.

“Oh, no, I’m not- It’s not me-” Chan blushes fiercely. He holds Changbin by the shoulders and presents him to the student council secretary. “He’s the captain.”

The student council secretary arches an eyebrow. “Sure, whatever. Just send someone out there before people start rioting.”

“You heard her, Changbin,” Chan says, giving Changbin a friendly clap on the shoulder blade. “Go get ‘em!”

“Thanks.” Changbin swallows.

He steps out onto the stage. The lights are blinding him, but at least he can’t see any of the one thousand or so faces in the audience. _Oh god. One thousand people. Holy fuck. _

He hears something behind him, and turns to find the student council secretary making weird motions from backstage.

‘Microphone.’ Chan mouths out from beside her.

“Oh.” Changbin says out loud. He shuts his eyes in embarrassment and walks to the middle of the stage where, sure enough, a microphone is perched on a stand too high for him. Changbin tilts the microphone down, but it’s still level with his forehead. _Why’d we have to go right after the _basketball_ team? _

Changbin reaches up to try to pry the microphone out of the stand, but some greenish-gray goop on the handle has it stuck to the stand. _Fuck_.

“WOOOOOOH CHANGBIN!” Someone – probably Jisung – screams from the audience, before another someone shushes them loudly.

Changbin tries tiptoeing to reach the microphone. His ego is currently being trampled like Simba’s dad in the Lion King, but he’s got to start this godforsaken thing if he’s ever going to finish it.

“Hi everyone,” Changbin says, and he immediately doesn’t like the way his voice sounds over the auditorium’s sound system. He sounds like a chain smoker. He tries clearing his throat. “Aggch, I’m uh, Seo Ch- Changbin, captain of the basket- I mean, the b- baseball team.”

Changbin’s expecting the usual pitiful silence and sparse, pitiful claps the team usually gets, so when the audience erupts in cheers, he jumps back a whole step. _The fuck?_

He steps back to the mic, tiptoeing with just a little less shame. “Yeah, s- so we have- I mean, we prepared a short video f- for you guys, so I’m just gonna, uh stop here. Video please?”

Changbin grimaces in the few seconds between the last of his voice’s echoes on the sound system and the projector screen blinking to life. _It’s this goddamn stage. Why do we have to do this on a goddamn _stage_?_

Whoever’s operating the projector computer takes their sweet time opening the video on Jisung’s flash drive, which is named _J-ONE_sexXxyBEAST_.

Changbin starts sweating. He watches the cursor on the screen intently as it edges towards the play button. He’s hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. _This is Jisung we’re talking about._

Changbin’s pleasantly surprised to find the video’s just a slideshow of photos of the team at the championships last season, with captions like, _Join the Weevils now! _and _Lifelong friendships!_ and Changbin’s personal favorite, _Brotherhood without the blood!_

The screen fades to black after flashing another reminder that, _Tryouts are next Monday!_ and Changbin releases the breath he’d been holding. He doesn’t even know why he doubted Jisung so much in the first place. It’s not like Jisung has ever let him down before.

Then the auditorium is suddenly filled with loud, muddy beats.

Then T-Pain’s autotuned voice kicks in. _‘Shawty had them apple bottom jeans!’ _

“JEANS!” Changbin’s teammates yell from wherever they are in the audience.

_‘Boots with the fur!’_

“WITH THE FUR!” The Weevils scream at the top of their lungs.

Changbin closes his eyes and prays for death to come quickly.

_Earlier that day_

“Ms. Bae, Seo Changbin’s here.” The vice principal’s assistant says, practically shoving Changbin into the vice principal’s office.

“Oh, good.” Vice Principal Bae says so coldly Changbin’s jaw goes slack in admiration. “Have a seat, Changbin.”

Changbin sits down slowly in the seat across her desk, which squeaks under him.

“I’ve been trying to contact you for _weeks_.” The vice principal frowns at him. “Did you go somewhere on holiday?”

Changbin almost snorts at the idea. “No, ma’am.”

“Well, anyway, at least you’re here now.” Vice Principal Bae shifts in her seat as she crosses her legs. “The school board and the alumni association decided to double your team’s budget.”

Their school’s vice principal is probably used to having people gape at her, but not for a long as Changbin does.

“You _are_ the new captain of the baseball team, are you not?” She asks, her frown growing concerned.

“Y- Yes, ma’am. I am.” Changbin points at himself. “That’s me.”

“That’s a relief. That would’ve been _truly_ embarrassing if you’d been the captain of the football team.”

“Why?”

Vice Principal Bae chuckles. “Where do you think your new budget came from?”

“Oh.”

“Anyway, the board wants your team to have new equipment and – thank god – new uniforms.” The vice principal sighs.

“What’s wrong with our uniforms, ma’am?”

The vice principal cocks her head to one side, giving Changbin an elevator look. “Do you plan on becoming a fashion designer, Mr. Seo?”

Changbin makes a face. _Weird question. _“No, ma’am.”

“Good.” The vice principal seems disproportionately relieved. “I’ll coordinate with your new coach so we can get the new uniforms done as soon as possible.”

“Okay-” Changbin frowns. _What_? “Uh, sorry, ma’am, but who’s our new coach?”

“You don’t know yet?” The vice principal seems to stifle an amused smile. “Where have you _been_, Mr. Seo?”

Changbin clenches his jaw.


	2. “Six more and it would’ve been perfect.”

_The next Monday_

Changbin rushes into the classroom just as the homeroom teacher’s turning to leave.

“Nice of you to join us on this morning, Mr. Seo.” Their homeroom teacher’s lips shrink like she’s just tasted vinegar.

Changbin bows so abruptly it’s like he’s folded in half. “I’m so sorry I’m late ma’am, I-”

“And what’s wrong with your shirt?” She pinches Changbin’s collar, her nose scrunching up like she’s smelled something seriously foul. “Don’t you have an iron at home?”

Changbin keeps his head lowered. “We do, ma’am.”

“Hmph.” His homeroom teacher lets go of his collar, and gives his wrinkled shirt one last disdainful look. “You kids these days don’t know how to use them anymore, don’t you? Always on your phones, never do anything useful…”

She suddenly gets distracted by how short one of the girls’ skirts is, so Changbin grabs the opportunity to slip away. He slides into his seat and sighs, his shoulders slumping. It’s not his fault he’s late for school. It’s not his fault his shirt isn’t ironed. Nothing is his fault, but for some reason, that doesn’t make him feel any better.

“The new math teacher’s here. Behave yourselves.” Their homeroom teacher says, finally running out of time to rag on every little detail on the class’s uniforms.

Changbin’s still trying to tug his shirt at the corners to straighten it out when the door opens and closes.

“Good morning everyone.” Their new math teacher says, and for a moment Changbin’s brain feels disconnected from the rest of him, because he can’t quite piece together what he’s expecting and what he’d just heard. _Who I’d just heard, really. _

“Changbin.” Chanhee pokes Changbin in the back. “Get up and greet the math teacher.”

“S- Sorry.” Changbin stands up, but he just ends up staring at the new math teacher while the rest of his classmates bow and greet him.

“_Gosh_, Changbin.” One of his other classmates grumbles, but Changbin ignores her.

“Take your seats.” The new math teacher says with an authoritative wave of his hand. “I’m sorry I’m a week late, but anyway, I’m your math teacher for the year. You can call me Mr. Park.”

Changbin realizes he still hasn’t closed his mouth. He does that now, just to wet his lips and stammer out, “C- _Coach Park_?”

Changbin wades through his classmates already making a fan club for their math teacher – _No, it’s weird to think of Coach Park as a teacher. It’s just weird. _

He jogs out the door and down the hallway, after the weirdly-dressed Coach Park. It’s not that he’s wearing something really weird, but Changbin’s never seen him in a collared shirt before and it’s really flipping his brain like a pancake.

“Coach Park!”

“Hey Captain, what’s up?” Jinyoung asks, arranging and rearranging the sheaf of papers in his hands with a frown on his face.

“I, uh…” Changbin frowns, too, but because he has no idea how to word what he’s about to ask. He gives up. _The simpler the better, right? _“Since when were you a math teacher?”

“Since this morning, why?”

Changbin tilts his head and looks right up at Jinyoung to let him see just how confused Changbin is. “I thought you had a full-time job-”

“Yeah, I did, and I quit that job.” Jinyoung smirks then, just as he gives up on the papers and tucks them under one arm. “I’m going to be a full-time coach now, aside from the math thing.”

A smile tugs at the corners of Changbin’s lips. “Really?”

“Yeah. Hyunjin and I couldn’t live off _just_ the coaching thing, so here we are,” Jinyoung waves the sheaf of papers. Then he notices the goofy look on Changbin’s face. “What’re you so happy about? I gave up a perfectly decent job to scrape the barrel with you kids.”

“Thanks, Coach.” Changbin beams, before bending into a deep bow. “I won’t let you down, sir.”

Jinyoung chuckles. “In Math or in baseball?”

“Hey Cap?”

Changbin shoves his books into his locker then slams the door before any of them can slide out. He’s kind of gotten the hang of it after over a week of living without his bookend. What he’s _not_ gotten used to is being called “Cap,” though it’s been pretty much _months_ since Chan turned things over to him.

He turns to the fresh- _no, sophomore_, who’d been rocking on his heels while he waited for Changbin. “Hey Felix. What’s up?”

“I just came to, um, apologize?” Felix frowns.

“What for?” Changbin can’t think of a single thing Felix has ever done to him that would warrant an apology. _He’s never even stepped on my toes, and people do that all the time._

“I can’t make it to tryouts today.” Felix purses his lips until they form a wide H shape with his cheeks. “I have a family…thing.”

Changbin looks at Felix carefully. “Is everything okay?”

“What?” Felix’s eyes are almost perfect circles in surprise. Then he smiles, his entire face flushing in embarrassment. “Oh! Oh yeah, it’s just my dad’s birthday tomorrow but they didn’t tell me we were celebrating it today even though I told them I was busy this afternoon but you really don’t need to know all that so I’m gonna stop now. Sorry.”

“It’s all right, dude.” Changbin says. _Should I clap him on the shoulder? That seems like a Chan-ish thing to do. Should I be doing Chan-ish things? _

_What’s a Changbin-ish thing to do? _

“Lee!” Someone shouts at Felix from down the hallway. There’s a group of guys that Changbin doesn’t really know – they’re probably Felix’s classmates – walking over.

“Yeah?” Felix calls back.

“Your _dad_’s looking for you.” The guy says with a wide sneer. There’s something unkind about the way he’d said it, and even though Changbin can’t quite put his finger on it, he steps protectively in front of Felix when the guy comes closer.

“Or is he your _mom_?” One of the guy’s friends snorts.

“Shut up, dude, he doesn’t have a mom.” Another one smacks the second guy on the arm.

“If he doesn’t have a mom, where the hell did he come from?” The first one asks, and they break out into hacking laughter.

Changbin doesn’t need to look to know Felix’s little hands have curled into fists. His first instinct is to sock one of these jerks in the face, probably the last one who’d spoken, because he seems to be the biggest asshole here. But just as Changbin starts to lift one fist, he remembers that he’s the captain now, and he can’t just go around school punching pieces of shit no matter how much they deserve it.

“Hey, Felix, could I hitch a ride?” Changbin asks loudly, turning to Felix.

Felix frowns. “But-”

“Please?” Changbin blinks hard to try to get the message to Felix. “I left my wallet at home.”

“Wh- Oh, okay. Yeah, of course.” Felix nods too eagerly, but the other guys seem to buy it, because their already sour expressions turn to pure acid.

“You sure you wanna get a lift from Lee’s _dad_?” One of the guys asks Changbin, and Changbin just ignores him and the nasty tone he uses for Felix’s dad.

“Let’s go, I need to get to the tryouts before Jisung does.” Changbin says, leading Felix away by a carabiner ring hanging from the latter’s backpack.

“Yeah, yes, of course.”

They walk side by side in complete silence until they get out of the building. There’s a dusty white car parked by the front steps, with a guy leaning against it who’s at that age when Changbin can’t judge whether he’s a young or old person. _He seems young to be a dad, _Changbin thinks, shrugging. _Or maybe it’s just the ripped jeans that make him look young. _

Felix starts fidgeting with the carabiner ring. “I’ll have to ask my dad if we can drop you off-”

“No, it’s okay,” Changbin smiles a little sadly. _Felix _didn’t_ get it, after all._ “I’ll just take the bus.”

“But how will you pay-”

“I have my card.” Changbin pulls his metro card out of his pocket. “I was just trying to get those guys off your case.”

“Oh.” Felix lowers his head. “Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Felix, they were being jerks.” Changbin lifts his hand to rest it on Felix’s shoulder or something, then reconsiders it and puts his hand back to his side. _That’s not a Changbin-ish thing to do. _“Listen, if those guys bug you again-”

“Felix? Is that you?” The man standing by the white car squints in their direction.

“Did you lose your glasses again, Dad?” Felix sighs as he walks over.

“No, they’re just… misplaced.” Felix’s dad screws up his face guiltily.

“_Daaad_, not again.” Felix groans. He tiptoes to peck his dad on the cheek, then turns back and waves at Changbin. “Bye Cap! Let me know how the tryouts go!”

“Sure.” Changbin waves once, then feels embarrassed and crosses his arms. “Bye.”

“Don’t tell your Papa about the glasses thing.” Felix’s dad says as he steps into the driver’s side of the car.

_Papa? _Changbin’s eyebrows lift when he realizes.

“He’s _gonna_ find out, Dad.” Felix laughs as he shuts the passenger side door behind him.

Felix and his dad drive off, leaving Changbin standing on the sidewalk, feeling ashamed that he only just figured out what those assholes had been teasing Felix about. He realizes he knows close to nothing about Felix despite being seeing him almost every day for a year, and it makes his stomach turn a little from guilt.

“Dude, what took you so long?” Jisung asks, running to meet Changbin at the gate of the park.

“I missed the first bus.” Changbin says flatly, changing the subject without even taking a breath in between. “How’s the turnout?”

“About that, we have a _tiny_ problem.” Jisung says, pinching his fingers together to illustrate their centimeter-thick problem.

“Chang- I mean, _Cap_!” Hyunjin shouts, jogging over. “We have a problem.”

“A _tiny_ problem,” Jisung insists, pinching his fingers aggressively.

“We have 63 signups.”

Changbin just stares at Hyunjin for a very long moment. “Six more and it would’ve been perfect.”

Jisung snorts.

“For fuck’s sake...” Hyunjin buries his face in his palm. “Cap, can you just tell us what to do?”

“Can’t we try them all out?”

“Sure.” Hyunjin shrugs. “_How_?”

Changbin chews on his lip. “I- I don’t know-”

“Hello!” A man comes walking up the park path towards them, a black duffel back slung over one shoulder. He’s wearing his cap low over his face, and with his all-black ensemble, he looks sketchy enough for even Changbin to sweat a little. “You must be the W---- High Weevils?”

Hyunjin frowns at Changbin, who just shakes his head.

“Who’s asking?” Jisung fixes the stranger with a wary nose scrunch.

“Oh, sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. Dumbass,” The stranger points at himself then breaks into laughter while the three boys watch him in silence. He wipes a tear from one eye then gives the boys a wide, bright smile. “I’m your new coach. You can call me Coach Wang.”

“We already have a…” Changbin and Jisung turn to Hyunjin with utterly confused stares.

“Hi Coach Wang.” Hyunjin says with a dazed expression, like he’d been knocked on the head with a bat.

Hyunjin has been having a strange week, and it’s only Monday.

“Hyunjin!” He’d woken up that morning to his brother banging on his door, which was normal. “We’re going to be late!”

_‘We’re’._ That’s not normal.

Hyunjin had eaten his breakfast and brushed his teeth and showered in a span of ten minutes, which was, again, normal. He’d folded himself up into the passenger seat of his brother’s tiny car and listened to music all the way to school, which was also normal.

Then his brother had overshot the front steps of the school and gone all the way around to the employees’ parking.

“I thought you’d drop me off at the front like always.” Hyunjin had said.

“Stopping the car wastes gas.” Jinyoung had replied.

Hyunjin had walked all the way around the back, behind the gym, to avoid walking through the hallways with his brother and getting weird looks. But the minute he’d stepped into the building, Jisung had grabbed him by the arm.

“Park Hyunjin! What’s your brother doing here?”

Hyunjin had shaken Jisung’s hand off roughly. “He’s teaching math.”

Jisung’s eyes had widened into perfect circles. “What year?”

“The seniors.”

Jisung released a sigh of relief so big his shoulders had drooped an entire half foot. “Oh good, not _us_.”

“He’s not allowed to teach us.” Hyunjin had said. _Thankfully._

“Well, good luck to the seniors.” Jisung had shrugged. He’d looked down the hallway to find Hyunjin’s brother talking to Chan, who’d been jumping around excitedly. “Coach Park looks really good in a button-down, though.”

“Ew.” Hyunjin had made a face.

He’d thought that was the end of it, but as he was eating his lunch up in his favorite tree, he saw something weird again. Two people were walking across the field towards him, which wouldn’t have been too weird if it had been just Jisung and Changbin or someone like that.

But it hadn’t been. It was two girls who’d never spoken to him in his entire life, despite their having been classmates since the first grade.

“Park Hyunjin!” The smaller one, Chaeyoung, had shouted up at him.

Hyunjin had almost fallen out of the tree in surprise. “Y- Yeah?”

“Do you want to-” Chaeyoung had made a face. “Can you get down here so we can talk like normal people?”

“Oh, of course.”

Hyunjin had held his sandwich in his mouth as he swung down the branches. He’d landed on the soft dirt below with a light thump, and turned to the girls brushing his hands off on his pants. “Yeah?”

“We have a party on Friday.” Chaeyoung had said. “Wanna come?”

Hyunjin had stared ahead with a confused frown on his face and a tuna sandwich in his mouth.

“It’s not a super _huge_ party or anything,” The taller one, Tzuyu, had added quickly. “It’s just in my house.”

“I think Han Jisung’s coming too.” Chaeyoung had added after a beat.

_But Han Jisung’s _always_ at parties. I, on the other hand… _Hyunjin had taken his sandwich out of his mouth slowly. “Why do you want _me_ to go?”

“Because you’re pretty cool? I don’t know, do we need other reasons to invite people to our parties?” Chaeyoung had snorted, but Hyunjin hadn’t been able to tell if she’d been joking.

“Yeah, you’re pretty cool.” Tzuyu had echoed. This was all sounding like an elaborate hidden camera prank to him, and Hyunjin just wanted to climb up his tree again in peace.

Then he had remembered something from their writing class earlier.

“Thanks. Noted.” Hyunjin had said with vague nods. “I’ll get back to you on that in a few days.”

The writing class had been about formal correspondence.

That afternoon, Hyunjin had waited by the back exit of the school for his brother to finish changing into his usual coach getup – a dry-fit t-shirt and sweatpants. He’d thought that it would’ve been nice and quiet there, but people kept walking past him _noticing _him.

“See you on Friday, dude!” One his classmates had said.

Hyunjin had frowned. “I’ll be here at school tomorrow.”

“No, dude, at _Tzuyu’_s!”

That had happened around eight times, and Hyunjin had been starting to get the idea that Tzuyu and Chaeyoung’s idea of “not a super huge party” was _very_ different from his.

“You’re shirt’s kinda tight, hyung.” Hyunjin had noted when his brother had finally arrived, lugging his bag along with all the excitement of a zombie.

“Is it?” Jinyoung had frowned down at his shirt slowly. “So it is. Let’s go, I’m fucking _beat_.”

“I have the signup sheet.” Hyunjin had said, reaching into his backpack for the crumpled stack of papers.

“Thanks.” Jinyoung had yawned as he took the papers from Hyunjin. He’d frowned vaguely while Hyunjin had held the door open for him. “Why are they… _many_?”

“We have 63 signups.”

“What the hell.” Jinyoung had chuckled. “Six more and it would’ve been perfect.”

Hyunjin finds his brother shuffling through the signup sheets by a far tree in the park.

“Hyung.” Hyunjin says urgently. “Hyunghyunghyunghyung-”

“How are we going to fucking deal with this?” Jinyoung groans, tossing the sheets onto the grass. “Why does everyone and their grandmother want to be in the baseball team all of a sudden?”

“Coach, we have a problem.” Chan comes jogging up to them.

“So I’ve noticed.” Jinyoung bends over to pick up the papers and shake them off.

“There’s another guy here saying he’s our new coach.” Chan says.

Jinyoung stares at Chan for an entire minute of pure silence.

Chan steps back nervously. “Changbin’s trying to talk to him but he said Vice Principal Bae sent him.”

“Like _Vice Principal Bae_ would ever replace _me_.” Jinyoung grumbles, starting towards the crowd of boys from their high school.

Chan chews on the inside of his cheek. “This isn’t going to end well, is it?”

“No.” Hyunjin says decidedly.

“I don’t know who you are, but _I’m_ the coach here-” Hyunjin’s brother has got his hands on his hips, which means that Chan’s right, and this _definitely_ won’t end well. “And if you don’t mind, we’ve got to get these tryouts done before dark because this goddamned park doesn’t have any lights.”

Hyunjin looks over at the other guy – “Coach Wang” – but he just looks vaguely amused as he takes his cap off. _Coach Wang has a really nice undercut,_ Hyunjin notes. _My brother’s screwed. _

“I don’t know what the vice principal told you,” Coach Wang runs a hand through his hair to fluff it up. “But she told _me_ that I had an assistant coach, so maybe-”

“_Assistant_ coach?” Jinyoung chortles. “There’s no way that _I’m_ the-”

“Hold on, let me check my email,” Coach Wang pulls out a phone that’d been released only a month earlier. Hyunjin and the others let out low _oooh_s of admiration. “Here it is. Head coach: Jackson Wang, _assistant_ coach: Park Jinyoung.”

Hyunjin looks back at his brother, eyes wide. _Is he gonna throw a punch? Am I gonna have to get into the fight because he’s my brother? Oh god._

Jinyoung takes the ridiculously expensive phone roughly and frowns at it. His frown only grows deeper. “I’m going to call her.”

“Be my guest.”

Jinyoung brings out his own seven-year-old phone and dials a number in his recent contacts. “Hello? Suji? It’s me.”

Half the boys in the crowd look in Hyunjin’s direction as if to ask, _Why is he calling the vice principal by her first name???_

Hyunjin can only shrug at them.

“There’s some _guy _here claiming to be the head coach and I’m just the assistant- _What_?” Jinyoung turns away from the crowd and walks a few steps off, whispering angrily into his phone.

He comes back a minute later looking glum.

“Well?” Coach Wang asks with a self-satisfied grin.

“Welcome to the team, _Coach Wang_.” Jinyoung practically tosses Coach Wang’s phone back to him. Jisung gasps loudly and makes a dive just in case the phone falls, but it doesn’t.

Coach Wang catches it effortlessly with one hand. He gives Jinyoung one last dry smile before turning to the boys who’d just been watching the entire scene unfold with their mouths slightly agape. “You guys heard _Assistant Coach _Park. So, let’s try to get these tryouts done before it gets dark.”

Jinyoung grinds his teeth so hard that Hyunjin hears it an entire meter away.

Changbin’s standing beside this Coach Wang person, holding a glass-surfaced touchscreen stopwatch that Changbin’s sure is worth more than his life. He starts wondering how much his life is actually worth, in cash, and forgets to hit the stop button.

“Come on, captain, presence of mind.” Coach Wang sighs.

“S- Sorry.”

“Anyone else want to man the stopwatch?” Coach Wang asks. He points at another one of the Weevils standing by, watching the tryouts. “You, you take over for the captain.”

Changbin doesn’t know why, of all people, the new coach _had _to pick Chan. But Chan hops over eagerly, as you’d expect Chan to do. “Yes, Coach!”

Changbin hands over the stopwatch. “I’ll just take a water break.” He says, for his pride.

“Okay!” Chan replies brightly.

_Maybe I _will _go buy some water. _Changbin pats himself down for his wallet while he walks. _There’s a convenience store out here somewhere, right?_

Changbin can still hear the guys in the tryouts groaning from what Coach Wang’s making them do, but he just crosses the street as if he can’t. It’s not that he doesn’t care about those poor guys, it’s just that he doesn’t really care about anything right now. _It’s nothing personal._

A bell chimes as he steps into the cool convenience store. The cashier’s watching something on his phone, and doesn’t mind Changbin, but the other two people look up.

Hyunjin gives Changbin a sloppy salute. “Hey.” He says, before taking a sip of his milk tea.

His brother just nods in Changbin’s direction before returning to drinking his Pocari Sweat so aggressively that Changbin feels bad for the bottle.

Changbin walks over to the refrigerator. He opens the door, but he’s just staring into space. _Why are you so pissed off? It’s not Chan’s fault he just _looks_ more responsible than you. And if you can’t handle this, how are you going to survive the rest of the year?_

_You’re just making a big deal out of this because you don’t want to think about everything else, and you know it._

Changbin sighs into the fog of cool air wafting from the refrigerator. It feels nice on his face, which is getting warm from overthinking.

“Hey! If you’re not going to get anything, shut the door!” The cashier grumbles without getting up from his chair.

Changbin grabs the orange juice closest to his hand and shuts the door. “Sorry.”

He gives the cashier an apologetic bow as he pays, but that doesn’t stop the latter from tossing Changbin’s change back at him.

Changbin reaches across the counter and grabs the cashier by the collar.

Or, at least, that’s what he imagines doing. In real life, Changbin squats to pick his coins up off the floor. He even mumbles thanks to the cashier as he turns to go.

He stops at the door and frowns at the Park brothers, perched on the seats by the window like they’re planning to stay there a while. “You guys aren’t going back?”

“No.” Coach Park takes another angry gulp of Pocari Sweat.

“We’re boycotting the tryouts.” Hyunjin explains.

“Oh.” Changbin stalls at door, trying to figure out whether as captain, he ought to stick with Coach Park, or as captain, he should go back to the tryouts even though Coach Wang’s taken over? _Why did I ever agree to this fucking job?_

“Let us know how the tryouts go.” Coach Park mutters, deciding for Changbin.

“I will.” Changbin nods gratefully as he opens the door.

Changbin comes back to find less than thirty guys limping around the park in the setting sun.

“Where’d everyone else go?” He asks Jisung, who’s just chewing on his nails off to one side.

“Coach Wang gave them the option to quit.” Jisung explains.

Changbin looks back at the remaining guys, who’re lugging their limbs like extras in a zombie movie. “What…did Coach Wang make them do?”

“A ton of burpees. Like, a _shit_-ton. Maybe a thousand.”

Changbin shudders. “_Why_?”

“God knows, but I’m fucking _scared_.” Jisung looks down at his shoes when Coach Wang happens to look in their direction.

Changbin catches a bunch of the guys packing up to leave. “Thanks for coming, guys! We really-”

“You guys are seriously full of _shit_.” One of the guys says.

“Yeah, you win a few games and you think you’re so great all of a sudden? _Nobody_ could pass these fucking tryouts.” 

“You guys probably couldn’t.”

“U- Uh…” Changbin tries to wave his hands to dissipate their anger. Somehow.

“Up till last year, you were just taking _everyone _in!”

“Yeah, I mean look at fucking _Lee Felix_-”

In Hawaii, there are volcanoes that are constantly erupting, so lava’s constantly trickling out of them at a manageable, slow pace. There are other volcanoes, on the other hand, that behave like mountains for a couple thousand years, covered with all the trees and cute little woodland friends of Bambi like they’re nothing more than a tall hill. But when those volcanoes erupt, they take entire continents with them.

Changbin’s the second kind of volcano, and his thousand years are up.

“_The fuck do you mean by that?_” Changbin asks, raising his voice.

“Come on, dude, you’ve got admit, he’s not good for anything.” The last guy who’d spoken goes on, even though the other guys with him have backed off after seeing Changbin’s stony expression. Changbin immediately recognizes him as one of the guys who’d been giving Felix a hard time earlier. “What can you expect from a guy raised by-”

Changbin does the guy a favor, and stops him from finishing his sentence. With his fist.

Hyunjin sputters out his milk tea. “Changbin did _what_?”

“Hejustfucking_flew_andpunchedlikeasixfooterinthefucking_face_-” Jisung rattles on, dancing around like he needs desperately to pee.

Jinyoung crumples the empty Pocari Sweat bottle and tosses it into the recycling bin across the store without standing up. “Let’s go.”

Jisung’s still staring at him with his mouth open. “Holy shit, Coach Park, do you play basketball _too_?”

“No, why would I?” Jinyoung gives him a disgusted look as he pushes the door to the convenience store open.

They return to find everyone left gathered in a kind of egg shape, with Chan at the pointy end, barely restraining Changbin. The round end of the egg shape is made up of all the guys who’d signed up for tryouts, including the one who’s down on all fours, spitting blood onto the grass. Coach Wang is somewhere in the middle of the egg, arms outstretched between the two boys like the referee of a boxing match.

“Who’s the captain here again?” Coach Wang calls out, frowning.

“He is.” One of the boys there for the tryouts says, pointing at Changbin.

Changbin stops struggling against Chan as he lowers his head. “I’m sorry, Coach-”

“Take him away till he cools off,” Coach Wang tells Chan, gesturing at the far end of the park.

Chan stalls for a second, looking in Jinyoung’s direction, but the latter doesn’t say anything, so Chan starts leading Changbin away from the crowd.

Coach Wang then steps towards the boy still down on all fours, but Jinyoung’s faster.

Jinyoung grabs the boy by the arm and pulls him to his feet. “What did you do?”

Coach Wang frowns. “Assistant Coach Park, that’s no way to-”

“I didn’t do anything!” The boy whines. “He just came at me-”

“You know that’s not true.” Jinyoung growls. “What did you say to Changbin?”

“Nothing! He really just-”

“Bullshit.” Jinyoung lets go of the boy, but before he can say or do anything else, Coach Wang holds up an arm in front of him to block him.

“Assistant Coach Park, maybe you’d like to take a walk, too.”

Jinyoung glares at Coach Wang, mouth pulled into such a tight, straight line that you could use it to lay bricks flat. Fear bubbles up in Hyunjin’s stomach, because if _Changbin’s_ going around punching people in the mouth today, then his brother might suddenly decide to join in.

“Maybe I would.” Jinyoung says finally. He pulls his keys out of his pocket as he turns for the parking lot. “Come on, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin jumps with a start, then jogs after his brother as the latter storms off.

The rest of the Weevils look at each other anxiously, taking awkward steps as if to go after the Parks, but deciding not to when Coach Wang shoots them hard looks.

“Wait!” Jisung yells, running towards the parking lot. “I’m riding with you guys!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for all the comments & kudos & love & support!  
  
I'm gonna start stomping the gas on the drama real soon, hope you guys like the upcoming chapters! 💕


	3. “Cuteness is in the eye of the beholder” – Lee Felix

> Yeniii: yooo when r u gon stream again
> 
> Lix: y
> 
> Yeniii: y as in yes or y as in y
> 
> Lix: what
> 
> Yeniii: lmao
> 
> Lix: wait what
> 
> Yeniii: what
> 
> Lix: what
> 
> Yeniii: oh brb I need to change my sister
> 
> Lix: WHAT

Felix stares down at his phone, frowning.

“What’s that?” His dad asks, looking away from the road to give Felix a good-natured grin.

“DAD!” Felix screeches as his dad swerves to narrowly miss an oncoming truck.

“It’s chill, it’s good, we’re alive,” His dad assures him, though sweat’s starting to collect on his forehead. “Don’t tell your Papa.”

Felix folds his arms and opens his mouth to say something, but his phone blinks with a notification.

> Yeniii: *her diaper
> 
> Yeniii: I changed her diaper
> 
> Yeniii: ☠☠☠
> 
> Lix: awwwww
> 
> Lix: how bad can it be?? she only drinks milk
> 
> Yeniii: ☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠☠

Felix starts laughing, and his dad looks over curiously again.

“Who’re you talking to?”

“My friend.”

“Won’t you see each other in a few minutes anyway?” Felix’s dad laughs as he turns onto the street of W------- High.

Felix sighs as he tucks his phone into his backpack. “No.”

Felix walks into his classroom to find all the tall guys in his class sitting around his desk. Which wouldn’t have been a problem, of course, if they hadn’t been propping their shoes up on his desk.

Felix stops in front of them and clears his throat.

Which, of course, they don’t mind. They’re talking loudly about some movie they’d all watched the day before, which wouldn’t have been a problem for Felix, if they hadn’t had their shoes up on his fucking desk.

“Hey guys.” Felix says tensely. “Could I put my stuff down?”

One of them looks in Felix’s direction and slides one foot out of the way. “Go.”

Felix frowns at him, and the other four who’re just trashing on the movie’s special effects. He dumps his bag loudly onto the floor by his desk.

One of the guys snorts. “What’re you so grumpy about?”

“Can I please have my desk?”

The tallest of the guys, Junhyun, makes a wide gesture as if to say, _Go ahead, be my guest. _He’s got some kind of bandage on his nose and a huge ugly bruise on his lip, but Felix could care less about him or the fights he’s gotten into. Junhyun and his friends stay there, with the dirt encrusting their sneakers falling onto Felix’s desk.

Felix clenches his fists. He barely reaches these guys’ shoulders, but he could probably take them on. But then his dads would be disappointed in him again. And he might have to move school again. _I can’t risk that. _

Their homeroom teacher comes into the classroom carrying a huge box that blocks his line of sight, and the tall guys scramble to slide their feet off Felix’s desk as if they’d never been there. By the time the teacher dumps the giant box at the front of the classroom, nothing seems out of place except for Felix bent over his desk, scraping at it with a piece of paper.

“Lee Felix, please sit down.” 

“Sorry, Teacher.” Felix says quietly. He’d ripped a page out of his notebook to try to scrape the mud – _why are their shoes muddy? It didn’t even rain! _– off his desk and chair, but it’s not as efficient as he’d like. He gives up and sits on the dirt, feeling it poke at his butt through his pants.

“Lee Felix, the outdoors are supposed to stay outdoors.” Their homeroom teacher frowns down at the dirt Felix had brushed onto the floor.

Felix tries to ignore the barely contained laughter from the guys who’d put the dirt there in the first place. “Sorry, Teacher.”

“Anyway, these are your emergency kits for the year.” The homeroom teacher kicks the box in the front of the classroom. “Class president, please help me distribute them.”

One of the girls in the front row stands up. “Okay, Teach-”

“Oh no, wait, you’re a girl.” The teacher waves her away with a hand. “One of the boys help me.”

Felix frowns. Their class president could probably lift that box up the four flights to their classroom without breaking a sweat, girl or not.

“Lee Felix.” The homeroom teacher says, catching Felix’s sour expression. “Come up here and distribute the emergency kits.”

“Yes, Teach.” Felix stands up and gently brushes the dirt off his backside.

“If a girl can’t do it, why are you making _Lee Felix_ do it?” One of the guys at the back of the classroom snorts.

“Just let the president do it, she’s more manly than he is.” Junhyun snorts.

The class president spins around in her chair to glare at him. “Junhyun! What the hell do you mean-”

“Okay, okay, settle down everyone.” The homeroom teacher says, slapping a hand on the blackboard. He frowns at Felix balancing eight kits in his arms at a time. “Anyone want to help him out?”

The class suddenly becomes busy reviewing their notes for a quiz later in the day, except for the president, who jumps out of her seat to take four of the kits from Felix. She gives him a smile, but it’s not a kind smile. It’s a pitying smile from the sort of person who thinks that people will think better of her if she helps the most pathetic person in class. Felix is used to being on the receiving end of that kind of smile, though, so he just smiles back as he always does.

“Thanks, President.”

“No problem.” She says, with that toothy, insincere smile.

Felix is ready to go home by the time lunch rolls around. He considers his options:

  1. Pretend to be sick.
  2. Punch one of his classmates and get suspended.

Felix is leaning towards Option #2 even before he gets to his locker. He’d applied for a locker late, so he’d gotten one of the bottom ones, which was bad enough as it was, but _someone_ had decided to tip over one of the garbage cans – _probably one of the biodegradable ones, from the looks of it_ – right in front of it.

Felix tries to nudge the sludgy banana peels and soggy cartons out of the way with one shoe, but they leave behind a brownish puddle on the floor in front of his locker.

He squats over the puddle and starts unlocking his locker to get his lunch.

“God fucking damn it.” Someone says from beside him.

Felix looks up even though he knows full well who it is. All of his anger dissipates when he sees him, and his heart starts jumping around in his chest excitedly. “Hey Cap!”

“Hi.” Changbin mutters, trying to kick the trash out of his way. “The fuck is all this crap?”

“Don’t know, it was just there when I got here.”

Changbin sets his jaw, and Felix knows he’s upset, but it’s very cute on Changbin. Felix bites down on his lip to stifle a smile.

Felix looks up again, at how Changbin sticks his tongue out just a little between teeth while he concentrates on twisting his combination into his lock. Felix realizes he can’t risk getting suspended or kicked out – _How would I see Changbin otherwise?_

“How did tryouts go yesterday?” Felix asks.

Changbin just grunts as he opens his locker, stopping his textbooks with one hand while he grabs one of them. He shoves the rest of them back in and slams the door. “Son of a bitch.”

Felix stands up. “Are you okay?”

Changbin frowns at him, then frowns at his locker, where the corner of his math book is sticking out from under the door.

“Oh.” Felix kicks his own locker closed. “Do you need any help-”

“Just leave it.” Changbin waves a hand dismissively. He looks down at the heap of trash on the floor. “I’ll go find the janitor.”

“I- I could go.”

“No, it’s probably my fault anyway.” Changbin says, turning to leave.

“Sorry.” Felix says, though he’s not sure why. He shuts his eyes in embarrassment. _You know what, maybe I should just go and get myself suspended. Rather than embarrass myself in front of Changbin again. Where are Junhyun and his goons at?_

“What happened at school today, Felix?”

Felix looks up from the potato salad he’d been pushing around on his plate and scoops all of it into his mouth just to avoid answering the question.

“Jesus, I know you like potatoes, but take it easy, kiddo,” Felix’s Papa laughs, dumping another pile of potato salad onto Felix’s plate. “Here’s some more.”

Felix’s Dad shoots him a look that says, _Oh my god, you idiot_, but it seems to fly right past his Papa.

“So?” Felix’s Dad asks.

Felix reaches for his glass to wash down his salad. “Uh, nothing much.”

“No fights?” His Papa asks.

Felix’s Dad shoots him a stern look. “_Matt._”

“What? It’s a valid question.”

“No, I didn’t fight anyone, Pops.” Felix says, going back to poking at his potato salad. _Kinda wish I did, though. _

Felix knows that his Dad’s watching him, but he really doesn’t feel like being forced to sit down and talk to him about everything right now – not that he doesn’t appreciate it when his parents do that. _I’m just tired. _

“Nothing’s bothering you?” Felix’s Dad asks, chewing on his lip in concern.

“No.” Felix pushes his plate away from him. “Sorry, I don’t think I can finish this. Can I put it back?”

“Yeah, sure.” Felix’s Papa says, but he’s also looking worried.

“Okay.” Felix tips his uneaten salad back into the bowl and stands up. “I’m just going live for an hour-ish.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t sleep too late.” 

Felix gives his dads a smile, “I won’t.”

Felix pulls his headset on and leans back in his chair while his computer connects to his Minecraft server. He checks his teeth through his webcam for any bits of salad just before he hears a little beep to let him know his livestream’s on.

“Hey everyone, it’s ya boi, Felix.” He puts two thumbs up, then feels embarrassed and switches to V signs. _Hopefully the four… five… six people watching right now didn’t notice_. “So I know I haven’t streamed in a while, school just started over here and, well, uh, we’re not that busy yet, but school’s school, you know?”

He shrugs his shoulders and sets his hands on the mouse and keyboard. “So today I’m gonna try to finish building that bowling alley I didn’t finish last time.”

Felix cringes when he sees the state of the bowling alley. “Wow, it looks like some post-apocalyptic shit up in here… Let’s just uh, finish the walls and stuff so it doesn’t look so sad.” He says, adding a few blocks to close the walls off.

Just as he’s about to close the wall on the first floor, he notices a comment from a user named _burgerboi69_.

“Okay, someone named ‘burgerboi69’ just asked me how school was today – Dad if this is you, this is very uncool, even for you.” Felix laughs. _Burgerboi69 _comments again. “Okay, _sure_, you’re _totally_ not my dad. Whatever you say, Dad.”

Felix has his character bounce up the stairs to finish the wall on the second floor. “Anyway, today… Was just another day – Oh fuck I did _not_ mean to do that!” Felix laughs at a column that’s turned out a bit too… _penile_. “Undo, undo, undo… So, what was I saying?”

> _10V3bomb_: u were talking about school

“Right, school.” Felix says as he fixes the column. “Well, school’s school, like I said. My classes are okay, except writing, because… You know, if I could just livestream my essays instead of writing them, I’d probably pass more.”

> _Pizzapizzazzpizaaa_: did you see Crushie? owo

Felix laughs so hard he has to turn away from the screen. He swivels back and makes a face at the camera. “Do I talk about my crush _that_ much on here?”

He gets five different _Yes_’s before he even finishes his question.

“Well, yeah I saw them, we go to the same school. They looked super cute, as usual.” Felix says, having to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smiling too much. “But I think I said something wrong today, or I don’t know, they were pretty cold to me. Not that we’re really that close or anything. Sometimes I wonder if they ever think about me when we’re not like, literally talking to each other.”

> _Pizzapizzazzpizaaa_: im sure they dooo!!! youre super cute too!!

Felix smiles. “Aw, thanks _Pizzapisa- _Okay, I don’t think I can read that but you must love pizza and I think you’re cute, too. Even if I can’t see you. Well, no, I think cuteness is something that comes from inside, not outside. Cuteness is in the eye of the beholder and all that.”

Felix winks at the camera. “My crush is cute inside and out, though.”

“Oh my god, _cringe_,” Felix turns away from the camera, burying his face in his knees in embarrassment. “FELIX, WHY?”

> _10V3bomb: _❤

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *long sigh* stream astronaut
> 
> ALSO, if anyone was wondering what felix's dads look like:  



	4. The Best Kids (the Stray Kids)

“So is this going to be a regular thing?”

“Huh?” Hyunjin looks up from his phone, a goofy smile still on his face from the funny sticker Seungmin had sent him.

“Are you going to be volunteering at the shelter…a lot? Or is it just a one-time thing?” Jinyoung asks, frowning as they join a long line of cars stopped at an intersection. Hyunjin knows his brother doesn’t mind driving him places, as long as he never has to step on the brakes.

“Just every Tuesdays and Fridays,” Hyunjin says, trying to gage his brother’s annoyed expression. “If that’s okay with you, hyung?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. There’s no training on those days anyway.” Jinyoung says. “You sure you’re not gonna get too tired, though? With training and school and everything?”

“No.” Hyunjin says brightly. “I love animals.”

Jinyoung frowns as he pulls the car over in front of the city animal shelter. “Is that…?”

Hyunjin’s already unbuckled his belt and hopped out of the car. “Hi!”

Jinyoung steps out slowly, watching his brother jump and hug Seungmin, who’s just stepped out of the animal shelter. He figured that Hyunjin had reasons other than his _“love for animals”_ for volunteering, but that’s not what Jinyoung’s confused about.

A man’s standing outside the animal shelter, wearing the chartreuse shirt that all the shelter’s staff wear. He’s got his back turned to Jinyoung as he explains some things about the shelter to Hyunjin.

“Mark?” Jinyoung frowns.

“Oh, hey, Jinyoung!” Mark turns around and grins. “You still owe me dinner.”

Seungmin and Hyunjin snort, while Jinyoung’s frown only grows deeper and his ears start to get warm.

“You didn’t tell me when you were free.” Jinyoung says tensely.

“I’m just messing with you, dude, you don’t owe me anything.” Mark laughs. He pats Seungmin on the arm. “You mind showing Hyunjin around?”

“’Course not, Boss.” Seungmin salutes with a wide grin. He grabs Hyunjin by the arm. “Come on, let’s go. There’s this really cute stray puppy that came in yesterday…”

“See you later, hyung!” Hyunjin waves as Seungmin pulls him into the shelter.

Jinyoung waves at his brother, then frowns at Mark again. “Since when did you work here?”

“Since I got tired of living in that camp in the middle of fucking nowhere with just my three cats.” Mark says. He laughs. “I have a _little _more than three cats now.”

“You’re allergic to fur.”

“I think I’m going to OD on anti-allergy meds one of these days, but eh,” Mark rubs his nose, which is a little on the pink side. “It’s not bad here.”

Jinyoung crosses his arms, biting down on his tongue to stop himself from saying anything. He left a perfectly decent job at an engineering firm to go back to his high school and herd teenagers. “What about that Seungmin kid, has he been volunteering here long?”

“Yeah, he’s been going here since before I got here.” Mark says. “He showed me around, actually. He’s the real boss around here.”

Jinyoung frowns. “So… this is what the kids do these days?”

Mark’s mouth curls into a smile, then he sputters into an all-out cruel laugh. “Why do you have to say it like that? You sound _so_ old, dude.”

“You’re older than me.”

“Yeah, and don’t forget it.” Mark punches him on the arm, still chuckling. “But to answer your question, no, Seungmin was the only kid volunteer we had up till today. The _kids these days_ don’t go out much, and if they do, they don’t come here.”

Jinyoung nods. He knows his and Hyunjin’s parents are going to have something to say about Hyunjin wasting his time here, but if Jinyoung went around caring what their parents thought, he would’ve been living a much crappier life.

“Sorry, Mark, I’ve got to go. My work’s starting to stack up,” Jinyoung explains. “I’ll be back to pick my brother up later at-”

“I’ll bring him home.” Mark says, waving his hands as if to shoo Jinyoung’s words away. “Don’t sweat it.”

“B- But-”

“It’s really not a problem for me.” Mark insists. “Don’t you have papers to check and stuff, Teacher Park?”

Jinyoung lifts his eyebrows. “How did you know that I-”

“Your brother tells Seungmin everything, and by extension…” Mark makes two of his fingers walk in the air until they tap himself on the shoulder. He gives Jinyoung a smile that’s a little more than friendly. “Next time I don’t wanna have to hear things about you through Seungmin.”

Jinyoung’s mind goes blank. “What?”

Mark shrugs as he turns to go back into the animal shelter. “Dinner wouldn’t be bad, I’m just saying.”

“What?”

Hyunjin lowers the mask covering half his face to repeat himself, then he gets a whiff of the dog poop they’re scooping and nearly passes out on the spot. He replaces his mask and steadies himself against the wall.

“You okay?” Seungmin asks, eyes wide above his own mask.

“Yeah!” Hyunjin shouts back, way too loud.

Seungmin laughs as he scoops some more dog poop into the bag Hyunjin’s holding open with one hand. “What were you saying?”

“A bunch! Of girls! From school! Invited me! To their party! This Friday!” Hyunjin yells through his mask. “I DON’T KNOW WHY THE FUCK THOUGH!”

Seungmin laughs so hard he nearly slips into a pile of dog poop. Hyunjin stumbles over to try to catch him, but Seungmin steadies himself in a very wide squat, blinking tears out of his eyes.

“Well?” Seungmin asks as he scoops the last of the poop into the bag.

“Well _what_!?” Hyunjin screams back.

Seungmin’s jaw quivers with the effort not to laugh. He gets up to help Hyunjin tie the bag up. “Do you want to go?”

Hyunjin only replies after they throw the bag out and take their masks off. “I won’t be able to come here if I go to the party.”

“That’s okay.” Seungmin shrugs. “It’s not like you’re being paid to come here anyway.”

“You’ll be alone.” Hyunjin pouts.

“I’ve been going here alone for months, Jinnie.” Seungmin rolls his eyes. “I’ll be fine.”

Hyunjin keeps pouting, unconvinced.

“You should try out the generic high school party stuff. Who knows,” Seungmin shrugs. “You might like it?”

“And if I hate it?”

“Then you can come right over here and scoop some more dog poop with me.” Seungmin grins.

Hyunjin wiggles two aggressive thumbs up. “Good plan.”

_The next day_

> Jinnie: help
> 
> Mini: What’s up?
> 
> Jinnie: hyungs super stressed
> 
> Mini: What did the new coach do?
> 
> Jinnie: nothing yet but like
> 
> Jinnie: were still in the car
> 
> Jinnie: but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Hyunjin snaps a quick photo of himself in the passenger’s seat of his brother’s car looking ready to vomit. The three boys in the back seat – Jisung, Felix, and Changbin in that order – also seem ready to either throw up or jump out of the car from stress.

> _Jinnie sent a photo._
> 
> Mini: Hahahahaha
> 
> Mini: Sorry
> 
> Mini: You look so funny
> 
> Mini: Hahahahahahahahaha
> 
> Jinnie: dont be meaaaan

“Hyunjin, could you not block the sideview mirror?” Jinyoung snaps, not even looking his way.

Hyunjin flattens himself obediently against the seat. His brother had been standing by the car when they’d come out of the school building, and he had _clearly_ not been in a good mood. Changbin had whispered that he hadn’t been like that during their class earlier that morning, and Jisung said he’d seen Hyunjin’s brother flirting with the PE teacher during lunch, so he must’ve been all right then, too.

Hyunjin knows he’s not the sharpest Sharpie in the drawer, but he can guess why his brother’s so grumpy now. He’s been dreading training all week, too.

“How many new guys do we have this year?” Jinyoung asks, and the question is bland enough, but his tone sounds like he’s conducting an official police interrogation.

“Not sure, Coach.” Changbin admits, ducking his head in shame.

“The final list is with Coach Wang.” Jisung says. “And he hasn’t shown us _shit_.”

Changbin reaches over Felix to whack Jisung on the thigh. Hyunjin hears Changbin hiss something angrily at Jisung, but he doesn’t pick it up.

“What?” Jisung asks out loud. “I don’t like him.”

“Me neither.” Felix mutters.

Changbin sighs. “I don’t like him, either.”

Hyunjin agrees, but he doesn’t say anything as he looks over at his brother for some kind of reaction.

“It shouldn’t matter whether you like him or not, he’s the one who’s been placed in charge.” Jinyoung says, brows furrowing as he looks dead ahead at the road. “You don’t have to like your coach; you just have to work with him to lead the team. You as the captain should set an example for your teammates, and follow him regardless of what you think of him, or the rest of team won’t follow him, either.”

Hyunjin twists his torso to take a peek at his friends in the back. Changbin’s looking down at his lap, his jaw jutting out more than usual. Jisung’s face is turned desperately to the window. Felix is picking anxiously at a hangnail, his eyes flitting towards Changbin once or twice.

“Were _you_ the captain in your time, Coach?” Felix asks.

Hyunjin shoots Felix a look like, _Oh god, Felix, why the hell would you ask that???_

Jinyoung parks the car in complete silence. Then he pulls on the handbrake hard enough to make Jisung jump in surprise.

“No, I wasn’t.” He says, sighing. “I was the vice-captain.”

Changbin walks ahead of the others into the corner of the park that the Weevils had been using for the past year or so to find it empty. He turns around with a frown. “Hey Jisung! What time is it?”

Jisung, who’d been frowning at his phone, shouts back, “Four thirty!”

“Where is everybody?” Felix frowns.

“They can’t _all_ be late.” Hyunjin says, turning back to his brother, whose expression is unreadable.

“Cap- I mean, Chan went ahead of us.” Jisung says. “Where the hell is he?”

Changbin’s about to say something when his phone starts buzzing in his pocket. “Chan’s calling me.”

“Why?” Felix asks, looking at Changbin with his eyes the size of saucers.

Changbin shrugs as he answers the call. “Yo, Chan- What? Where are _you_?”

“What’s he saying?” Jisung asks, hopping around Changbin in a circle like a rabbit on hard drugs.

“N- No, I don’t think so. He drove us straight here.” Changbin says, his frown only growing deeper with everything Chan’s saying. “Y- Yeah, I’ll tell him. He won’t be happy, though.”

“What is it?” Hyunjin asks, bristling with worry when he realizes Changbin’s talking about his brother, who’s coming towards them with two bags of equipment and an utterly perplexed look on his face.

Jinyoung sizes up their expressions for a second before asking, “What’s going on?”

“Chan said Coach Wang brought the whole team all to…” Changbin makes a face. “You remember the field we tried to rent last year?”

“No, I don’t.” Jinyoung says coldly.

“He wasn’t here yet.” Hyunjin whispers behind one hand.

“Oh. Sorry. We tried to rent the field on Walnut Street that’s owned by uh, Chan’s boyfriend’s family but it didn’t work out and…” Changbin’s cheeks redden. “Anyway, Coach, Chan said that all of our trainings will be there from now on. I can give directions-”

“I know where that is.” Jinyoung says coldly. “But the school never had enough budget to rent it out. I wonder how Coach Wang got it.”

“I think… it’s probably because he’s filthy frickin rich, Coach.” Jisung suggests.

Jinyoung glares at him, and Hyunjin’s ready to jump between them if he needs to, though before Hyunjin has to do anything, his brother starts laughing.

“Must be nice.” Jinyoung mutters. “Come on, boys, let’s enjoy Coach Wang’s charity.”

The Weevils freeze when Changbin steps onto the field. _Maybe I should’ve let Coach Park go ahead._

Changbin takes a deep breath and keeps walking towards Coach Wang, who’s standing halfway across the field, talking to Chan.

The other guys go back to their drills, but Changbin can still hear them talking about him, though he wishes he couldn’t. He wishes they would be like his classmates and laugh about him behind his back, but his teammates care about him more than that, and somehow, it’s worse.

“Poor Changbin.”

“He’s never going to really be the captain.”

“It’s not his fault.”

Changbin clears his throat to get Coach Wang’s attention. “Coach Wang.”

“Oh! Changbin, hello! Give me a second,” The coach turns away from Changbin again to pat Chan on the shoulder. “You know what to do, Chan.”

“Yes, Coach.” Chan says, clearly holding back on his usual peppiness. He casts a quick glance in Changbin’s direction that looks a little apologetic before running off to the Weevils doing drills. “Hey guys, Coach said to get started on the next…”

Changbin tries not to grind his teeth, for the sake of his dentist’s mental health.

“You wanted something?” Coach Wang asks.

_Is there anything for me to do? Or have you given it all to Chan?_

“N- Nothing, Coach.” Changbin stammers out finally.

“You can start on three laps around the field to warm up,” Coach Wang says. He nods over to where Jisung, Felix, and Hyunjin are standing around looking lost. “Bring them with you, Captain.”

Changbin nods. “Yes, Coach.”

He doesn’t know why he feels defeated as he walks over to the other three guys, but he does, and he hates it. “C’mon guys, Coach Wang said three laps.”

“Why are we being punished?” Jisung hisses. “It’s not our fault-”

“Let’s just get it over with.” Changbin grumbles back.

“Yes, Cap!” Felix says eagerly, jogging to his side.

Changbin smiles at him. _Where does Felix get all his energy? _

_I should probably ask him sometime. _

“Coach Wang, can we talk?” Jinyoung says, hoping he sounds diplomatic. He’s never been good at that kind of thing.

“Of course.” Coach Wang nods graciously. “Give me a minute – Chan! Make sure nobody stops while I’m gone!”

“Yes, Coach!”

Jinyoung manages to keep steam from whistling out of his ears, which he’s quite proud of. He starts towards the locker rooms, listening for Coach Wang’s expensive footsteps behind him.

“What did you want to talk about?” Coach Wang asks as soon as the door to locker closes behind them.

Jinyoung looks the other coach in the eye. _There are tons of things to talk about, Coach Wang. Where do you want to start?_

But he takes a deep breath and decides he’s going to be diplomatic, if only for the sake of the boys. They’d have a field day if their Assistant Coach picked a fight with their Head Coach, and Jinyoung sure as hell doesn’t want the boys having _that_ much fun.

“As Assistant Coach, I keep record of all our spending-”

“I know.” Coach Wang cuts him off. “What about it?”

“I just want to know how much we spent renting this place.” Jinyoung says. “And for how long-?”

“_I_ rented it until next summer. You don’t need to put that in the books. It’s on me.” Coach Wang crosses his arms.

_If you think that’s going to intimidate me,_ Jinyoung thinks as his eyes naturally dart down to where Coach Wang’s sleeves seem to be struggling to keep themselves together around his arms. _Then you’re absolutely right, I’m poor as hell and not a fucking idiot._

“That’s incredibly generous of you, Coach.”

The corner of Coach Wang’s mouth tilts up in mild amusement. “I know this is going to sound bad, but these kinds of things aren’t… that _heavy_ on my finances.”

Jinyoung can’t hold himself back anymore. “Yeah, you’re right. It sounds bad.”

Coach Wang laughs, and his usually stern face crumples up so goofily that it makes even Jinyoung smile.

“I just want to give the boys an even playing field. Figuratively and literally.” Coach Wang says when he finally gets his face straight again. “They seem like good kids.”

Jinyoung doesn’t hold himself back. “They’re the best kids.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back Mark Tuan missed u mwah mwah


	5. “Make good decisions.” – Park Jinyoung

“Hey guys, it’s ya boi Felix. Uh… Happy Friday Night!” Felix throws his hands up in the air. “Haha, I know I don’t usually stream twice in one week, but this has been kind of a shit week, so I need to destress.”

Felix adjusts his headset, watching his current viewers climb up to 123. _I guess lots of people have nothing to do on a Friday night._

“Therapy’s expensive, but Minecraft is free – Oh wait.” Felix frowns at the ceiling as he thinks _very _hard. “No it’s not.”

Jinyoung drums his hands on the wheel.

“I’m gonna go now, hyung.” Hyunjin says, one hand on the handle of his door, as it has been for the past five minutes.

“Y- Yeah, go.” Jinyoung nods.

“You’re not gonna say anything? Cause you look like you want to say something and I-”

“No, I’m not gonna say anything.”

“Okay.” Hyunjin opens his door and places one foot on the sidewalk.

“Uh, Hyunjin?”

Hyunjin freezes in place, half inside the car and half out. “Yeah, hyung?”

“Make good decisions.” Jinyoung says. Then he slaps himself on the forehead. “I mean, have fun.”

“I will.” Hyunjin says, still straddling the line between inside the car and out of it.

“But just a reasonable amount of fun.”

“Ok. A reasonable amount of fun. Got it.” Hyunjin nods. “Can I go now, hyung?”

Jinyoung sighs. “Yeah. I’ll be by to pick you up at 12?”

Hyunjin had almost made it out of the car, but he stops with just his foot still inside. “_12_? Isn’t that too late?”

“Well, I thought, because it’s a party…” Jinyoung makes a gesture with his hands like he’s stacking bricks. “That people would start leaving around midnight? Like a normal party?”

“10:30 is good. Maybe even 10.” Hyunjin says.

“Okay, you know what, I’m just gonna be bumming around at home and I can drive over here in like, 15 minutes,” Jinyoung says. “So just call me when you want to be picked up.”

“Okay.” Hyunjin nods, finally stepping out of the car. He adjusts his denim jacket, which is actually one of Jinyoung’s, because it’s a little nicer than all of Hyunjin’s jackets. “Do I look okay?”

Jinyoung makes a face. “You look like a loser. As usual.”

Hyunjin pouts down at his outfit. “Should I leave the jacket?”

“No, my god, I’m-” Jinyoung sighs. “You look fine, Hyunjin. Fuck that – Better than fine. You look good, Hyunjin. You’re probably going to have to fend people off all night.”

Hyunjin gives his brother a horrified look. “Do random people really attack you at parties? Like _zombies_?”

“_Like zombies_.” Jinyoung can’t help but snort. “Just don’t do anything weird in my jacket, okay?”

“EW, HYUNG!”

Jinyoung rolls his eyes. “I’m going now. Call me when you want to be picked up, okay?”

“Okay.” Hyunjin tucks his hands nervously into his pockets. “See you later.”

“See you later.” Jinyoung reaches over and closes the passenger side door, but he doesn’t drive away until he sees two girls come out of the house and drag his brother in, one girl holding each of his arms. Jinyoung smirks to himself. _What a loser. _

“So,” Felix says, swiveling aimlessly around in his chair. “The next building on the agenda is the church, and I’m gonna be real honest and secular with y’all, I have _never_ been inside a church.”

Felix grimaces into the camera before looking back at his screen.

“So I’m just gonna wing this from a bunch of reference photos I found on Google, but again, I have no idea and if any of you guys are church people… uh… _holy_ people, I don’t wanna offend you guys.” Felix says as he pans around the area he’d left for his city’s church. “I was today years old when I learned there were different… _breeds_ of church? I mean, I know there are different religions, I’m not _that_ ignorant, but like. Did you know there are like a zillion different Christians? Wonder why-”

Felix chokes on his own spit and starts coughing.

When he finally comes back up for air, his face is red and he’s got tears in the corners of his eyes. “Oof, there’s karma coming to get me, time to stop being disrespectful to the church people.”

“Kim Younghoon.”

Younghoon had been lying in bed trying to get through one of the books his Japanese teacher’s forcing them to read. He looks up from his book to find his roommate leaning on the doorframe. “What’s up?”

“There’s a guy who’s been standing outside our window for like half an hour.”

Younghoon’s eyes widen as he throws the book onto the bed and scrambles for the window.

His roommate scratches behind his ear, unbothered. “Should I call the police or-”

Younghoon unlatches the window and shoves it open, squinting at the small, dark-clothed figure three floors down. “Bang Chan! What the hell are you doing?”

“Come down!” The tiny figure waves a reusable bag that seems full of plastic containers. “I have dinner!”

“But I-” Younghoon glances back at the book he’d tossed onto his bed, then down at Chan swinging the bag in his arms while he hums a song that hasn’t been popular in around 20 years. Younghoon sighs. “I’ll be down in a minute!”

“Okay!”

Younghoon’s roommate stands out of the way while Younghoon scrambles to get his phone, wallet, and a hoodie. “The boy didn’t text you or anything?”

“He’s kind of…” Younghoon grimaces. “An analog person.”

His roommate laughs as he grabs Younghoon’s keys to the room off a hook on the wall. “Don’t forget these. Unless you’re not planning to come back tonight.”

“Thanks, screw you.” Younghoon laughs as he takes the keys and pockets them. “Don’t deadbolt the door, I’ll be back.”

His roommate steps aside, and makes a grand gesture to the doorway, like he’s showing the way for a king. “Oh. Is Analog Boy also old-school when it comes to k-i-s-s-i-n-g?”

Younghoon rolls his eyes and says nothing as he steps out the door.

He runs down the three flights of stairs to the lobby and out the front door. The night air is weirdly crisp and chilly as he sprints across the cobblestoned walk to the ridiculous figure hugging a bag full of tupperwares.

“Hey.” Younghoon bends over and plants a kiss on the ridiculous figure’s forehead. “Next time, text me like a normal 21st-century person, okay?”

Chan jumps with a start. “H- Hi Younghoon, how are you?”

“Better now, thanks for asking.” Younghoon peers into Chan’s bag and lifts one of the plastic containers. “How many people were you planning to feed with this?”

“I told Mama it was for you,” Chan yawns as he stretches his arms over his head. “So she packed a bunch of extras for you to have breakfast and lunch tomorrow.”

“Please tell your mom I love her.” Younghoon says, shuffling through the plastic containers.

“I’ll let her know.” Chan grins. “Do you wanna leave the rest in your dorm now then we can go picnic-”

“_Picnic_?” Younghoon says, just as an icy blast of wind ruffles the trees around them. “In this weather?”

“Oh.” Chan bites his lip. “I didn’t think of that.”

“Let’s just eat inside like civilized people.” Younghoon says, slinging the bag of food over one shoulder while he takes Chan’s hand.

“Am I allowed in?” Chan asks, not budging even when Younghoon tugs on his arm.

Younghoon takes a deep breath and sighs.

“Chan, this is the athlete’s dorm. People are always bringing _girls_ in, I don’t think they’ll mind _you_-” Younghoon stops when he sees how red Chan’s face is becoming. He laughs and kisses Chan on the cheek. “Picnic it is, then.”

Chan squeezes Younghoon’s hand. “Sorry, I just don’t wanna risk breaking any rules-”

“-and getting me kicked out of the dorm, I know.” Younghoon turns them around and starts for the little orchard next to his dorm, never mind that the weather’s decided to be weirdly wintry this evening. “You’re going to have to keep me from freezing to death, though.”

“Oh,” Chan shoots Younghoon a confident smirk under the dim yellowish light of the streetlamp above them. “Lucky for you, I happen to be the _expert_ at keeping Kim Younghoons warm.”

“I have noooo idea what I’m doing,” Felix sings to himself – and, he supposes, the 138 people watching his livestream – as he lays down some white concrete blocks in a box for the church’s walls. He’s started building the pointy parts at the top when he realizes it looks weird.

Felix zooms out and frowns at it. He looks up at the camera as he reaches for his water flask. “They’re _too_ white, aren’t they?”

> _KimiG:_ IM BLINDED
> 
> _19yjh: _r u trying to make elsa’s castle sksksks
> 
> _lisaaa:_ it’s so white it told me not to vaccinate my kids
> 
> _SCarat: _ahahahjdsjfk
> 
> _KimiG: _OH YM GOD PLEASE

Felix chokes on the water he’d been drinking.

“Come on, guys, leave the white people alone, they can’t _all_ be like that.”

He wipes his mouth off on the sleeve of his hoodie. “But yeah, the real building’s not _this_ white, it’s more like… slightly yellow white? Off-white? Like, string cheese-colored.”

He starts hacking at the blocks and hums as he scrolls through the other blocks he has. He notices a comment in the corner of the screen. “What looks like string cheese?”

> _10V3bomb: _sandstone?

“Yeah, sandstone seems good, thanks.” Felix agrees. Then he starts to hum, “Sandstone, sandstone, sandstone…”

Minho reaches into his back pocket for a rag to wipe the granite countertop with, but there’s nothing there. He turns around and frowns. “Goddamn it.”

“Looking for this?” Jisung asks, plucking a rag off the floor and handing it to Minho. “You’ve got to stop putting stuff in your back pockets, there’s no space left-”

Minho shoots him a death glare, and Jisung clamps his mouth shut.

Minho throws the rag back at Jisung. “Go wipe the counter.”

“What?” Jisung pouts as he begrudgingly starts mopping up the coffee spills on the counter. “It’s a compliment! You have a great ass! Your ass is _amazing_!”

The door to the kitchen swings open. Jisung’s uncle comes out hauling a sack of coffee beans. “Jesus, Jisung, if you’re not gonna help us, don’t scare customers away.”

“Let me help you, Mr. Kang.” Minho says, scrambling to take the sack of beans. “Jisung’s helping, he’s going to clear the tables.”

Jisung opens his mouth to protest, then he catches a sharp look from Minho and lowers his head as he reaches for the basket for dirty dishes.

Jisung’s uncle snorts, wiping the dust on his hands off on the front of his jeans. “I’m not even going to ask how you got him to do that.”

“It’s not that hard.” Minho shrugs as he scoops some coffee beans into the grinder. “He’s sweeter than he looks.”

Jisung’s uncle laughs before turning to the man currently frowning at their menu.

“Hi, can I help you?”

“O- Oh, uh, I just…” The man says, blinking at Jisung’s uncle like he’s not sure he’s real.

Minho presses the coffee grounds into the espresso machine and hums along to the song playing over the radio while he waits. He pours the coffee into waiting cup of water and ice, then looks over at Jisung currently leaning all the way over a table as he wipes it. Minho smiles to just himself as he shakes the Americano to mix it.

“Jisung!” Minho calls, and Jisung packs up and scurries over like his life depends on it.

“Yeah?”

“Could you give this to the guy on table 6?” Minho asks.

“Sure.” Jisung says, placing the drink on a tray with a stack of napkins. Minho watches his boyfriend lower the drink gently onto table 6, and say something that makes the guy on table 6 laugh.

“One hot caramel macchiato, half sugar.” Jisung’s uncle says, passing an empty mug to Minho.

“Okay.” Minho says, scribbling on the side of the mug in whiteboard marker. “Uh, Mr. Kang?”

“Hang on, give me a minute,” Jisung’s uncle says to Minho before turning to a pair of customers to say, “Hey, how can I help you guys?”

“We’re still thinking.”

“Sure, take your time.” Jisung’s uncle turns back to Minho, who’s pouring the foam on top of the macchiato. “What were you saying?”

“I was just wondering if you could cut out part of my pay and give it to Jisung?” Minho notices Jisung’s uncle’s expression change, but he goes on anyway. “He’s been doing a lot lately, and I just think he should get something-”

“No.” Jisung’s uncle says, before turning to the customers with a smile again to take their order. He turns back to Minho to say, “Two iced lattes.”

“Yes, sir,” Minho says, glancing over at Jisung thanking a group of customers as they leave, then picking up all their plates and wiping their table. Minho calls out the macchiato, then starts on the two lattes. “But Mr. Kang, I’m just saying, it’s not fair for Jisung to get nothing for everything he does-”

“Minho.” Jisung’s uncle says sharply, after giving the customers their receipt and asking them to wait at their table to be called. “I’m not going to cut out of your salary to pay Jisung.”

“But-”

“Business isn’t so bad that we can’t pay people properly.” Jisung’s uncle says sternly. “We’ll pay him separately.”

Minho straightens up indignantly to protest, then he frowns when he realizes what Jisung’s uncle means. “Oh. Thanks, Mr. Kang.”

“I can’t figure out if you’re just so rich that you don’t care how small your salary gets,” Jisung’s uncle says. “Or if you like my nephew _that_ much.”

Minho sucks on the inside of his cheek, looking down at the espresso machine in embarrassment.

“Excuse me,” Jisung says, stepping past him to put some dirty dishes in the sink. He’s just turned on the faucet and started rinsing the glasses off when he says, “Hey Uncle, I was wondering if you could give me and Minho a raise-”

“Absolutely not.” Jisung uncle says. He turns away from Jisung and gives Minho a quick wink as he picks up the lattes to give them to the customers.

“But Uuuuncle,” Jisung whines.

Minho nudges him with an elbow. “Don’t forget to shake them off before you put them on the rack.”

“Can’t believe I ditched a party just to be treated like _this_.” Jisung rolls his eyes at him. He cups a hand to shout at his uncle, “On second thought, can you dock Minho’s pay? He’s a little bitch and doesn’t deserve it!”

Minho laughs and takes one of the mugs from Jisung to help him wash it. “You’re the little bitch.”

“Aw guys, let’s not use, uh, harsh language.” Felix says, reading some of the comments. “Let’s all be nice to each other online, because people are mean enough in real life.”

> _Yeniboii: _ FELIIIIX! I’M LATE BUT I’M HERE!

“Oh my gosh hey!” Felix waves at the camera, then feels stupid and ducks his head in humiliation. “What’s up, dude?”

> _Yeniboii_: Nothing much dude wbu

“Well, I’m building a church even though I don’t know what churches really look like,” Felix says.

> _Yeniboii: _LMAOOOO
> 
> _Yeniboii: _Me neither 😜

“Hey, Jeongin?” Jeongin’s dad says, leaning in through the doorway.

Jeongin slides his headset off and looks up from his laptop. “Yeah?”

“Could you watch Yuna for a short while? Mommy and I just have to go out and buy something real quick.”

“Oh, okay.” Jeongin types a quick, _‘g2g dude I have to watch the baby’ _before shutting his laptop lid. He locks the front door after his parents then tiptoes into their room.

Yuna’s sleeping in the middle of the bed, guarded on all sides by hotdog-shaped pillows. She’s lying on her back with one hand on her stomach and one on top of one of the hotdog pillows.

Jeongin holds his breath as he sits down on the floor next to the bed, cringing with the loud creak the floor makes.

Yuna rolls over to face him, but her eyes are still shut.

“Shhh, stay asleep,” Jeongin whispers nervously, reaching out to pat Yuna on the hand. “Don’t wake up.”

Yuna makes a soft gurgling noise as she grabs ahold of Jeongin’s pointer finger, wrapping her entire hand around it.

Jeongin freezes in place. He’d been squatting next to the bed, so he stays in a squat without even breathing. _Oh god oh god oh god…_

Yuna makes another noise and tugs on Jeongin’s finger.

Jeongin allows his arm to stretch out, but his knees are starting to tremble from staying in this squat for too long. _I could never be a catcher, _is his first thought. His second thought is, _I’M GOING TO DIE!_

Jeongin’s legs start shaking violently. Jeongin shuts his eyes and accepts his fate.

Then his knees give in and he tumbles onto the side of the bed, sending Yuna bouncing up like they’re on a trampoline. The baby immediately starts wailing, opening her mouth so wide that it seems to take up her entire face.

“Nononononono,” Jeongin starts dancing around anxiously. “Stop crying, please, don’t cry, _please_.”

If Yuna understands him, she elects to ignore him, and keeps screaming her lungs out.

Jeongin reaches out and pats her gingerly on the stomach. “Please stop crying, pretty please?”

Yuna kicks Jeongin’s hand away and keeps crying.

Jeongin tries patting her all over, like he’s looking for the button to turn the alarm off. He’s patting her hand, like very lame high-fives, when he hears the front door open and his parents come running down the hallway.

“What did you _do_?” Jeongin’s mom frowns as she rushes into the room to pick up the baby.

“I didn’t do anything, I swear!” Jeongin whines.

“_Seriously_, Jeongin.” Jeongin’s dad says, reaching for a soft towel to dry Yuna’s face. “We were gone for all of _ten_ minutes.”

“But I didn’t-”

“Jeongin.” His mom says sternly. “Go to your room.”

Jeongin’s shoulders sag. “Okay.”

> _Yeniboii_: I think my baby sister hates me

Felix stops adding blocks to the front wall of the church. “Hey Yeni! Why?”

> _Yeniboii: _I didn’t even do anything and she just starts crying and I got in trouble for it???
> 
> _19yjh: _they’re all like that. baby sisters suck
> 
> _KimiG:_ babies are the worst

“I don’t know, I don’t have any siblings, but I love babies.” Felix says as he starts building the wall again. “I wish I had a baby sister.”

> _19yjh_: NO YOU DON’T
> 
> _Yeniboii: _YOU DO NOT
> 
> _KimiG: _THEYR THE WORST
> 
> _Pizzapizzazzpizaaa: _cmon guys leave him alone
> 
> _10V3bomb: _i think its cute he wants a baby sister
> 
> _19yjh: _oh look another person without siblings
> 
> _KimiG: _fucking only children

Felix laughs. “Guys, _please_.”

Seungmin squats next to one of the cats’ cages. It’s too big for this kitten, which is curled up in a little black ball in one corner and hasn’t eaten since it came in the day before.

Seungmin watches the rise and fall of the kitten’s chest as it trembles – from hunger or anxiety, he doesn’t know.

He glances down the hallway. All the other caretakers have gone home except Mr. Tuan, who seems busy grappling with a spreadsheet in the office, so Seungmin’s pretty much alone.

He unlocks the kitten’s cage and gently lifts it out with both hands. “Listen, I’m not supposed to hold you because we’re not sure if you’ve had rabies shots yet, but like, fuck that, right?”

The kitten’s chest rattles against Seungmin’s hands, so he places it in his lap and strokes her between the ears. “It’s okay, little bean.”

It takes a while, but the kitten eventually calms down enough for Seungmin to hold her again. He picks her up and looks into her tiny little face, surprised to find a huge white patch over her mouth and big green eyes.

“Well hello there…” Seungmin frowns. He knows they’re discouraged from getting the animals used to a name, because then if someone adopts them, the cat won’t answer to anything but the name the caretaker gave. Still, it’s just against Seungmin’s nature to call anything just ‘_hey you_’. “What should I call you?”

The kitten mewls, as if she can understand him.

“You know who you remind me of?” Seungmin asks, lowering the kitten back into his lap. He strokes her between the ears again, and she meows quietly. “Yeah, you look like a Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin hisses and looks up at him, blinking her big green eyes.

Seungmin laughs. “You don’t like that name? What’s wrong with Hyunjin?”

Hyunjin meows loudly at him.

“That’s very Hyunjin of you, Hyunjin.” Seungmin says. He reaches for Hyunjin’s bowl of untouched milk. “Do you want to eat, Hyunjin?”

Hyunjin starts scrambling out of Seungmin’s lap and towards the bowl of milk.

Seungmin starts laughing, which startles Hyunjin. “Sorry, sorry, go eat.”

He cups some milk into his hand and brings it up close to Hyunjin. The kitten gives Seungmin a suspicious look.

“Come on, Hyunjin, enough drama. Just eat already,” Seungmin laughs. He shakes the milk in his palm, amused at how Hyunjin’s eyes follow the slosh of the liquid.

Hyunjin tosses her head haughtily, then cranes her neck forward and starts slurping up the milk.

Seungmin pats Hyunjin on the head. “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“No, I don’t know what I’m going to do for the windows yet.” Felix says, in reply to someone named _halleekitty91. _“I think stained glass is a bit much.”

Felix pulls up his reference photos on the side of the screen again. All of them but one have stained glass windows, and he groans. He has stained glass, but he feels too lazy to actually _think_ about designing stained glass windows.

“What?” Felix says, his eyes catching on a comment. He scrolls back up to try and find it, but a bunch of other people are still commenting under it. “Someone was saying something about them going to this church or something, if you’ve been inside the actual church please help a brother out. I- Oh, there you are.”

> _10V3bomb: _its me!!!
> 
> _10V3bomb: _the windows have that shape like in the pic on the upper left

“This one?” Felix asks, spinning the cursor around one of his reference photos.

> _10V3bomb: _yah but theyre not stained glass they’re just normal glass

“Ha!” Felix grins triumphantly at the camera. “They’re normal glass windows! Eat it, haters!”

Felix starts counting blocks to space the normal glass windows out from each other.

“Thanks, uh, Ten-version-three-bomb? Is that right?” Felix makes a face. “Sorry, I don’t know how to read.”

> _10V3bomb: _its ok glad i could help ❤

Changbin rests his phone on the bed beside him, pulling his earbuds out. He’s already got the volume almost maxed out, but nothing can seem to drown out his parents’ voices in the next room.

He rolls over in bed and pulls his covers over his head, plugging his ears with his fingers, but he can still hear the timbre of his father’s voice straining against his mother’s.

Changbin puts his earphones back on. He shuts his eyes and hopes he falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sister read the first, unfinished draft of this chapter and left the following comment:  
“This is sweet n al but wHERE are the bEArs u havent said a single thing bout them (aside from seungmin) I cannot stand for this #JusticeForTheBears”
> 
> My dear, dumb sister, I was Working On It


	6. A Day in the Life of a Changbin

_A few weeks later _

Changbin comes out of his bathroom combing his fingers through his wet hair. “Sorry, Mom, what were you saying?”

“I said, you’re going to be late for school.” His mother’s standing in the hallway in her aggressively ironed skirt suit, one hand on her hips and the other on the handle of her luggage. “Is your father not planning to go to work today?”

Changbin shakes his hair out of his eyes. “I- I don’t know.”

“Go wake him up.” His mother says, so forcefully that a sliver of hair falls out of her bun. She grumbles and stomps back into her bedroom, slamming the door.

Changbin walks over to the living room. The morning news is blasting from the TV at almost top volume, but the figure slumped on the couch is snoring on, unbothered.

“Dad.” Changbin bends over and shakes his dad by the shoulder. “Dad, it’s past 7.”

His dad grunts as he rolls over, and Changbin jumps out of the way. His dad’s a big enough guy – not fat, just _big_ – that a stray arm of his would probably hurt like hell if it hit Changbin.

“What time is it?” Changbin’s dad asks, scratching his beard.

“7:30.” Changbin replies.

Changbin’s dad sits up slowly, the couch creaking and heaving under him. “What’s for breakfast?”

“Uh…” Changbin glances back at the empty breakfast table. “I- I could make something-”

“What?” Changbin’s dad’s eyes open suddenly. “Where’s your mother?”

“She’s, uh, sh- she’s getting ready to leave, I think-”

“_Leave_? Where is she going?” Changbin’s dad rises from the couch and Changbin steps out of the way as he storms towards their bedroom.

The door opens before Changbin’s dad can even touch the doorknob.

“Oh _good_, you’re awake.” Changbin’s mother says, gently feeling the back of her bun for any stray hairs. “Bring Changbin to school, he’s probably already missed the bu-”

“Where are you going?” Changbin’s dad frowns. “Why didn’t you make breakfast?”

Changbin’s mother drops the handle of her luggage. “Since when was that my problem?”

“Since always!” Changbin’s dad growls. “You’re the mother here, you’re supposed-”

Changbin’s mother turns to Changbin. “Changbin, don’t be late for school. I have to go to work.”

“Your flight isn’t until this evening!” Changbin’s dad shouts.

“I like to be early.” Changbin’s mom says calmly. “And there’s breakfast in the lounge that _I_ don’t have to make.”

“And what about us?” Changbin’s father asks. “You can be angry with me all you like, but don’t take it out on your son!”

“Changbin’s not a baby anymore.” Changbin’s mother peers down at Changbin over the tip of her nose. “Don’t make him an excuse for your laziness-”

“_I’m_ lazy? I work _seven_ days a week-”

“Doing what? You just sit there and wait for-”

“Mom.” Changbin says tensely. “I think your taxi’s outside.”

Changbin’s parents frown at him for a second, and Changbin’s worried they’re going to start shouting at _him_, but the taxi driver honks his horn before anything else can happen. Changbin heaves a sigh of relief as his mom scrambles to slip into her heels and run out the front door.

Changbin’s dad sits down on the couch again as soon as the door slams shut. He looks up at Changbin with a tired sigh. “Do you need me to bring you to school?”

Changbin shakes his head. “I think I can still catch the bus.”

Jinyoung’s trying to balance his whiteboard marker on one finger when the door to the classroom opens.

Changbin’s standing in the doorway, red-faced, sweaty, and out-of-breath. He ducks into a deep bow, his wet hair flicking onto the floor. “I’m s- so sorry I’m late, Coach- T- Teacher Park.”

“It- It’s all right.” Jinyoung almost bows back in surprise. He holds a stack of papers out to Changbin. “Here’s your test. You have twenty minutes left, sorry.”

“Th- Thank you, sir.” Changbin bows as he takes the paper and scrambles to his seat.

Mina shoots him a _Where the hell have you been? _look before quickly looking back at her paper.

Changbin reaches into his backpack for a ballpen, but his hand digs around for a whole minute before coming up empty.

Mina tosses a ballpen onto his desk.

“Thanks,” Changbin says.

Mina shoots him a sharp _Shut up_ look before looking back at her paper.

Changbin scrawls his name onto his sheet then flips through the questions. _Twenty- No, sixteen minutes. I have to finish this in sixteen minutes. _

_Oh god. _

Changbin sets his jaw and starts from the word problems at the back of the test.

“The fuck are you doing?”

Changbin looks up from where he’s been standing under the hand dryer in the bathroom, ruffling his still-wet hair. The water must’ve dried at some point and been replaced with sweat while he was running to school all the way from his house.

Jisung’s watching him with a half horrified, half amused look. “Do you need a hair dryer?”

Changbin frowns at Jisung, then at Jisung’s messy fringe. “Do you _have_ a hair dryer?”

“My dear, dear Changbin.” Jisung sighs, resting his forehead against three fingers like one of _those_ anime characters. “What _don’t_ I have?”

One of the cubicles swings open suddenly, and Jisung jumps into Changbin’s arms.

“Hey guys.” Hyunjin gives them a salute that looks slightly hungover.

“If it isn’t my favorite Hyunjin!” Jisung says, one arm around Changbin’s shoulders to steady himself.

“Hey Hyunjin.” Changbin says, dropping Jisung on the floor.

“What’re you guys doing?” Hyunjin asks as he washes his hands.

“Changbin has a hair emergency.” Jisung picks himself up off the tiles and flicks Changbin’s soggy bangs. He looks up at Hyunjin, who’s trying to get a strand of hair on his forehead to join the others. “Hey, your hair’s pretty nice.”

“Thanks.” Hyunjin beams at him.

“Wanna help me fix Changbin’s?” Jisung asks.

Hyunjin looks at Changbin, frowns, then looks back at Jisung. “You have a hair dryer?”

“And wax and clay.” Jisung says. “I’ll just get them from my locker.”

Changbin makes a face. “What the fuck?”

Changbin’s forehead is starting to feel itchy, which is weird because Jisung and Hyunjin had swept all his hair off of it. He didn’t really see the point, but he trusts his friends – well, he trusts Hyunjin with hair, at least.

Changbin wishes he could care about hair as much as his friends do, but he just doesn’t have the energy left after wondering what he and his dad are going to eat for dinner. He walks up to his locker when he notices something on the door of one of the lower lockers.

Scrawled in red ink all over the door is just one word, _FREAK_.

Changbin squats and tries to rub at it with one finger, but it doesn’t even smudge.

“H- Hey Cap!”

Changbin looks up to find Felix looking down at him, eyes wide and lower lip trembling. “Hey.”

“You, uh… You look really good today,” Felix squats next to Changbin and starts to punch the combination into his lock, fiercely ignoring the bright red letters on the locker door.

“Thanks.” Changbin says distractedly. He’s still starting at the red letters when Felix opens his locker and takes two notebooks out.

Felix slams the door and locks it. He stands up, his hands gripping the notebook so hard that his knuckles are going white. “You should wear your hair like that more often.”

“Thanks.” Changbin stands and frowns at Felix. “Felix, your locker-”

“I’ll ask for some cleaning stuff from the janitor to fix it later.” Felix squeezes his notebooks even tighter. He lets out a shaky laugh. “We’re gonna become best friends, the janitor and I.”

“Felix-”

“We’re gonna be late for class.” Felix says, turning around quickly. “I’ll see you at training, Cap.”

Changbin waves, even if Felix can’t see it, but he’s too upset to feel dumb for doing it. “See you.” he adds quietly, though Felix is far out of earshot.

“Looking good, Changbin,” Chan says, putting an arm around Changbin’s shoulders. “Do you have a date tonight?”

Changbin makes a face at him. “We have training.”

“Well, _after_ training.” Chan grins and attempts to wink. “Eh?”

Changbin has just been told off by the History teacher for sleeping, and the English teacher for not bringing his homework, and his classmates for not having the money for the class project, and all he wants is to have lunch in peace.

“If _ever_ I have a date, Chan,” Changbin says dryly. “I’ll let you know.”

Chan takes the hint and slowly edges away. “See you at training, Changbin.”

“See you.”

Changbin goes to his locker to get his lunch, then realizes that in all the mess that morning, he hadn’t made himself any. He also realizes that he doesn’t have money left to buy lunch, because his parents had forgotten to give him his allowance again.

He closes his locker again with a sigh and starts to walk away when the janitor stops him.

“You own this locker?” The janitor asks, pointing at Felix’s locker.

“No.”

“Damn kids.” The janitor mutters, bringing a rag and a spray bottle out of his bucket.

“Do you need any help with that?” Changbin offers.

“You wanna help?” The janitor gives Changbin a skeptical look. Then he thrusts the spray bottle and rag into Changbin’s hands. “Be my guest!”

“B- But i- it’s lunch t-time,” Changbin stammers out, but the janitor’s already walking away, swinging his bucket.

Changbin looks back down at Felix’s locker. _Well, it’s not like I have anything else to do the entire lunch break._

_Or eat. I don’t have anything to eat. _

Changbin’s stomach grumbles as if in reply.

_Fuck this._

Changbin bends over and sprays the locker with whatever it is that the janitor had given him. The red ink doesn’t even run, but he starts scrubbing with the rag anyway.

Changbin’s stomach growls so loudly that Chanhee kicks his chair.

“Dude.” Chanhee whispers when their Economics teacher isn’t looking. “Did you not eat lunch?”

“I forgot to bring lunch.” Changbin whispers back while their teacher’s busy telling off the guys in the back for eating chips under their desks.

“Dude.” Chanhee rolls his eyes, even if Changbin can’t see it. “You could’ve asked me-”

“I’m fine.” Changbin insists, but he’s drawing his third cheeseburger in the corner of his notebook.

Changbin hears Chanhee’s seat scrape against the floor behind him.

“Yes, Chanhee?” Their Economics teacher calls out, turning away from the boys at the back of the room for just a second.

“Teacher, may Changbin go out and drink water at the fountain?” Chanhee asks.

One of the boys at the back of the room chokes on the chips he’s been trying to eat surreptitiously. He sputters orange crumbs all over his desk and coughs like he’s about to die, while his friends stifle their own laughter to keep themselves from choking, too.

The Economics teacher buries her face in her hands for a moment and counts under her breath. She looks up again and frowns at Chanhee. “Why can’t Changbin ask for himself?”

Changbin kicks the leg of Chanhee’s desk.

“He’s… shy.” Chanhee grimaces.

The entire class erupts in laughter, and more crumbs spray out of the boys’ mouths at the back row.

“Class! Quiet! Behave yourselves!” The Economics teacher slams her hand on one of the clean desks until the class settles down, mostly out of pity for her.

Chanhee raises his hand politely.

“Yes, Chanhee, Changbin can go out and drink water.” The Economics teacher groans.

Chanhee kicks Changbin’s chair lightly. “Go buy lunch.” He whispers.

Changbin’s about to say that he doesn’t have any money, but Chanhee’s gone through enough trouble already. He pushes his seat back and stands up. “Th- Thanks, Teacher.”

“Oh, so you _can_ talk.” The Economics teacher scoffs, going back to the graph on the board.

Changbin closes the door to the classroom behind him and leans against the nearest wall for a second, taking deep breaths. His stomach growls again, and it’s starting to sound like he’s swallowed a tiger – which he’s not opposed to doing right now.

_I didn’t have breakfast. _Changbin realizes. _Or lunch. _

_So my last meal was dinner yesterday? And all I had was ramen??? Son of a bitch._

Changbin stuffs his hands into his empty pockets and makes his way to the nearest water fountain, because he might as well be honest about his reason for cutting class.

He steps on the pedal, but only a sad, guttural cough of air comes out of the spout.

He notices a figure walk past the end of the hallway, but he ignores it.

Changbin stomps on the pedal harder this time, but the fountain only coughs out air again.

Changbin’s about to smash the pedal with all the force he can muster when he sees the same tall, lanky figure cross the end of the hallway again.

He gives up on the fountain and walks to the end of the hallway. “Excuse me, are you looking for something?”

The tall figure freezes in mid-step and spins around to face Changbin. _It’s Felix’s dad. But what’s he doing here? It’s too early for him to be picking Felix up, unless something bad happened-_

“Oh, hello, would you happen to know where Lee Felix is?” Felix’s dad asks, teetering on his heels.

“He’s probably in class,” Changbin furrows his brow as he tries desperately to remember which class Felix is in.

“I’ve already tried his classroom, and the clinic, and the library and the gym and I’ve basically gone on a fucking tour of the entire school, but I can’t find him _anywhere_.” Felix’s dad says, his voice squeaking in desperation. “Is there anywhere else he could be?”

Changbin finds himself starting to panic, too. “I- uh- um- uh- I- I don’t kn-know-”

“It’s okay, sorry for bothering you,” Felix’s dad lets out a nervous laugh and turns to go.

Changbin stays standing there, fidgeting with the edges of his pockets. He’s still got pinkish stains under his fingernails from the ink he’d cleaned off Felix’s locker earlier.

“Mr. Lee!” Changbin calls out. When Felix’s dad doesn’t turn around, he jogs after him. “Mr. Lee!”

“Oh, were you talking to me?” Felix’s dad looks confused.

Changbin is way more confused, but he ignores that and says, “Did you try the rooms on the top floor?”

Felix’s dad shakes his head. “No, why? What’s on the top floor?”

“Club rooms and stuff.” Changbin says. “They’re supposed to be locked during class, but they never are.”

“Oh.”

Changbin waits at the top of the stairs just to see if Felix’s dad is still following – he is, albeit at a much slower pace – before dashing down the hallway. He checks through the windows of every club room, and finds them empty, seeing as everyone ought to be in class.

“Is he there?” Felix’s dad pants, finally at the top landing.

“Nope.” Changbin says as he peeks into the music room. He can’t see behind the bigger instruments, but it seems empty, too.

Felix’s dad leans against the nearest wall, gasping for air. “Why does your school have _five_ floors and no elevator???”

Changbin peeks into the window of the dance studio. It’s not so much a dance studio as it is a storage room with a warped mirror running along one wall, since the school doesn’t even have a dance club. He’s about to leave when he notices the tips of two sneakers peeking out between two of the bigger boxes in the room.

Changbin tries the knob, and sure enough, it isn’t locked.

“Felix?” Changbin calls out gently, leaning in through the doorway before stepping into the room. “It’s me, Changbin.”

The sneakers slide backwards to hide themselves behind the boxes.

“Felix, your dad’s here.” Changbin steps carefully into the room, like the floor could cave at any moment.

He rounds the corner around one of the big boxes and finds Felix sitting on the ground, hugging his legs. His jacket’s hood is pulled low over his face, which is tucked into his knees as he mumbles something.

“What?” Changbin kneels in front of him to try and hear him better. “Sorry, Felix, what did you say?”

Felix raises his head just a little bit to say, “Sorry.”

Changbin frowns. “You don’t have anything to be sorry about.”

Felix looks up at him. His entire face is pink and puffy like a strawberry marshmallow. He opens his mouth to say something, but the door opens just then, and his dad comes barreling in.

“Felix! What’s going on?”

Felix sees his dad, and then his lips start to tremble. He jumps to his feet and stuffs his face into his dad’s chest, crying.

“Aw, come on, Felix, it’s going to be okay.” Felix’s dad puts his arms around Felix and rubs him on the back. “Let’s just go home.”

Felix nods and follows his dad out of the dance studio.

Changbin follows, too, and closes the door behind them. He watches Felix’s dad wrap an arm around Felix’s shoulders and lean over to rest his cheek on the top of Felix’s head as they walk towards the stairs. Changbin feels like it’s a food-deprived thought, but he just can’t imagine his own dad doing that.

The mental image almost makes him laugh.

His stomach grumbles.

_Almost_.

“Nice hair, Cap.”

“Thanks.” Changbin tries to smile at the junior he can’t really remember the name of right now, but he can’t even do that much. He’s _so_ hungry. It’s all he can think about. The white, ribbed walls of the stadium are starting to look like the bowl that comes with instant noodles. The red dirt underfoot is starting to look like barbecue flavor powder.

Coach Wang looks like a chicken nugget in a tracksuit as he walks over. “Chan, here’s the schedule for the training camp next weekend.”

Chan takes the paper and passes it immediately to Changbin. “Training camp next weekend.”

“Already?” Changbin frowns at the paper. It’s starting to look yummy, too.

Coach Wang frowns at him. “Yeah? The prelims are in three weeks.”

“So they are.” Changbin says distractedly, trying to read the paper. All he manages to read is _8:00 AM Departure _before someone rips the paper out of his hands.

“YOOOOO EVERYONE TRAINING CAMP SCHEDUUUULE!” Jisung yells, waving the paper over his head. All the other boys drops their gloves, bats, and balls onto the dirt and run over.

Changbin squirms his way out of the crowd and takes a big gulp of warm, dusty air.

“Everyone’s confirmed for the training camp?” He hears Coach Wang’s voice carry from the hallway to the lockers behind him.

“Uh, almost.” He hears Coach Park reply.

“What do you mean, _almost_?”

“Two of the freshmen weren’t allowed by their parents,” Coach Park says. “And one of the sophomores hasn’t told us if he’s coming or not.”

“Why not?”

“He just hasn’t, I don’t know-”

“We could just ask him.” Coach Wang groans. “Who is it?”

“Lee Felix.”

Changbin jumps and pretends to be busy (with what, he doesn’t know) when the two coaches come out onto the field.

“Hey, Captain,” Coach Park says, patting Changbin on the shoulder. “Where’s Felix?”

Coach Park’s looking all around the field, but Changbin doesn’t need to. “He’s n- not here, Coach.”

“Where is he?” Coach Park asks in an urgent whisper.

“Where is he?” Coach Wang echoes, coming up behind them with his arms crossed.

Changbin’s mouth goes dry. Perhaps he’s getting dehydrated on top of being starved.

“Uh, he’s not here today.” Coach Park says quietly.

“That’s the fifth time in three weeks, isn’t it?” Coach Wang asks.

Coach Park takes a little while to reply. “I’m sure he’s got a good reason-”

“I’m sure he does, but if he can’t commit to the team, it’s going to be really hard for everyone.” Coach Wang says. He frowns at Changbin. “Does he still come to school?”

“Y- Yes, Coach.” Changbin replies.

“You saw him today?”

Changbin remembers Felix with his head down on his knees, his shoulders shaking with quiet sobs. “Yes, Coach.”

“Is he still part of the team?”

Changbin looks Coach Wang in the eye then. “Of course he is, what the fuck?”

“Changbin,” Coach Park warns, putting one hand on Changbin’s arm.

“Why would you ask something like that?” Changbin shakes Coach Park’s hand off and squares up to the head coach. “You don’t know anything about us, you don’t have the right to just judge us like that-”

“Seo Changbin.” Coach Park says, more sternly this time.

“It’s okay, don’t mind him. This kind of thing doesn’t bother me.” Coach Wang says, adding under his breath, “I really don’t see how you became captain.”

Changbin curls his hands into fists, and he feels his blood rushing either to or away from his head – either way it’s making his mind even foggier than it already had been, and it’s _not_ good.

He takes a step towards the head coach, lifting one fist, and the last thing he feels is Coach Park holding him back by the forearm.

“Changbin!” Someone yells.

_Chan, _Changbin realizes. _It’s Chan. Of all people._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh here's that drama i was talking about


	7. “I think I busted a spleen.” – Han Jisung

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aka A Day in the Life of a Felix

Felix wakes up to the smell of waffles.

He’s still rubbing his eyes as he tiptoes out of his room. “G’morning.”

“Morning, Felix.” His papa says, prying a slightly burnt waffle out of the iron. “Are you going to school today?”

“For fuck’s sake, Matt.” Felix’s dad kicks him in the shin, but he seems to be hurt more than the person who’d been kicked. “Oww.”

“You okay?” Felix’s papa asks, unbothered.

“Yeah, no thanks to your damn leg.”

Felix clears his throat and straightens up to announce, “I think I’ve missed enough school. It’s gonna be hard to catch up.”

“You were gone for a _day_.” His dad says.

“And I think I’ll go back to training.”

Felix notices his dads exchange concerned looks, but he ignores them as he grabs a waffle and starts digging in.

“And you don’t need to drop me off at school, I’ll take the bus.” He adds.

“You’ve never taken the bus to school before.” Felix’s papa says.

Felix’s dad frowns into his coffee. “You’ll have to change bus at the shopping center-”

“Yeah, I know.” Felix nods. “I’ll figure it out.”

Felix paces up and down the bus stop. _There _is_ a bus coming, right? Dad was right about the second bus? The one that’s supposed to stop here? WHERE IS IT???_

Felix squints down the street, but there seem to be nothing but private cars zooming past him.

He’s starting to sweat. The sun seems to be climbing up like crazy.

Moisture’s starting to collect between his hand and his phone, which he’s gripping like crazy.

His dad’s probably in the university already, so asking him for a lift is out of the question. He could call his papa to pick him up, but then he’d probably just bring Felix home with an annoying _I told you so_ look on his face.

Felix doesn’t have many other numbers on his contacts list.

He starts pacing up and down the bus stop again, feeling his shirt start to get drenched. _Maybe I _can’t_ take the bus to school, I was being an idiot. I don’t know how to do _anything_. I’m not good for any-_

“Felix?”

Felix nearly jumps out of his skin. He turns around to find Chan frowning at him. “Chan?”

Chan’s gives him an easy smile. “What’re you doing here?”

“I’m uh…” Felix waves his hands around aimlessly. “Going to school.”

Chan frowns at him for a very, very long time, and each passing second makes Felix sweat even more. _What does it mean???_

“Oh, you’re waiting for the bus!” Chan claps his hands together.

“Yeah,” Felix says, nodding even though he’s not so sure anymore. “I am.”

“Me too!” Chan says. “Sucks that we missed the 7:30 bus.”

Felix frowns at he tries to calculate things in his mind. “When’s the next bus?”

“8:00.” Chan shrugs, hands calmly in his pockets.

Felix makes a face. “Doesn’t school _start_ at 8:00?”

“Yeah.”

Felix’s face blanches.

Felix slams his locker shut. He also shuts his eyes, and takes a deep breath. He’s never been late for school before, so he didn’t know that all the late students had to stand in a line in front of the Vice Principal and suffer a Talking To (with capital letters) for ten minutes before being allowed to shamefully enter their classroom in the middle of the teacher’s lecture.

_Or, at least, that’s what happened to me. _

“Hey, Felix.”

Felix looks up to find Changbin looking back down at him with a weird expression. Not the _strange_ kind of weird, just not the usual way he looks at Felix. Felix can’t quite make it out.

“Hey, Cap.” Felix says, a beat too late.

“Are you, uh, feeling better?” Changbin runs a hand through his hair.

Felix gets so mesmerized watching him that he forgets how to talk.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to…” Changbin makes a face as he shuts his locker. “I’ll see you at training later, then?”

Felix just nods, even until after Changbin’s started walking away.

“Yo, Felix!”

Felix scrambles to his feet and nearly salutes Jisung and Hyunjin, though he’s not sure why he’d have that kind of instinct. “Hi.”

“Are you coming to training camp?” Hyunjin asks.

Felix frowns at him. “Yeah, why not?”

“Oh, because you weren’t there when we asked everyone,” Jisung shrugs, and Hyunjin elbows him in the ribs. Jisung ends up coughing so hard Felix is worried he’s going to spit a lung out.

“Yeah, I’m going.” Felix says, his cheeks burning as he adds, “And I’m coming to training later.”

“Do you need a lift?” Hyunjin asks.

“As if _you’re_ the one driving.” Jisung scoffs, jumping out of the way before Hyunjin can unintentionally Heimlich him.

“Yes please,” Felix says. “Thank you.”

“Sure,” Hyunjin smiles. “We’ll be at the parking lot out back around ten minutes after class ends.”

“Okay.”

Felix knows it’s rude to his teacher, but he’s watching the clock on the wall like his life depends on it. His teacher’s already gone five minutes overtime, but she’s still going on about social ills – which, of course, Felix would normally be _all_ for, but his ride to training is leaving in five minutes and he doesn’t want to be late twice in one day.

“Lee Felix.” His History teacher snaps. “Are you still with us?”

“Yes, Teacher, sorry.” Felix hears the froggy snorts of Junhyun and his friends at the back of the classroom. _No, that’s offensive to frogs. _

“I know it’s not ‘cool’,” Their History teacher says, drawing air quotes with her fingers. “But you have to care about the issues happening around you, even if they don’t affect you. Even if you’re lucky enough not to be one of the people without homes, you should care for them. Even if you don’t identify with the LGBT, their struggles should be important to you.”

Felix nods. He really does like this teacher, and he agrees with everything she’s saying, but he’s going to be late. _Again_.

“Felix cares a lot about the LGBT struggles!” Junhyun shouts from the back. “Don’t you, Felix?”

Felix ducks his face down into his notebook like he’s reading something, even though he’s just doodled all around the margins.

Their History teacher frowns. “What do you mean by that?”

“He _is_ their struggle.” One of Junhyun’s friends says under his breath, but not quietly enough. The other boys snort, but not quietly enough, either.

The History teacher looks at Felix with a mix of curiosity and sympathy, which makes Felix feel a little bit embarrassed to look back at her. “What- You know what, I’m not going to ask you what that’s about.”

Felix still doesn’t look up. “Thanks, Teacher Ahn.”

“Hey Teach!” Junhyun says, sliding back in his seat lazily. “Are you _ever_ gonna let us go?”

Their teacher glares at Junhyun for a moment, then she sighs and says, “Right. I’m sorry, you’re all dismissed.”

Felix shuts his notebook and tosses it into his bag. He’s already halfway to the door when his History teacher says, “Felix, I’d like to have a word.”

Felix almost curses under his breath. He adjusts his backpack on his shoulder and turns back to his teacher while the rest of his class file out past him. “Yes, Teacher Ahn?”

“Wait, we’ve got to wait for all of _them_ to get out.” His History Teacher rolls her eyes at Junhyun and his friends, who are still busy laughing about something at the back of the classroom. She calls out, “Are you guys _ever_ going to leave?”

“Fine, Teach, no need to be so crabby,” One of them says as they all shuffle out in a herd.

Teacher Ahn sighs as she settles to sit on her desk. She waits for the door to shut behind the boys – though she and Felix can still hear them – before she says, “So what was that about?”

Felix purses his lips. “Nothing, Teacher Ahn.”

“Oh come on, there is no way that was _nothing._” The teacher folds her arms and lifts her eyebrows at Felix. “Okay, you know what, I’m not asking you to out yourself to me, but I just want you to know that those boys’ behavior is unacceptable, no matter what the circumstances are. You get me?”

Felix shifts his weight on his feet. He _really_ needs to go. “Thanks, Teacher Ahn.”

“And if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to about, well, _that_ sort of thing,” His teacher continues. “You can talk to me, okay?”

Felix doesn’t not appreciate Teacher Ahn, but he can imagine Coach Park’s face when he runs out into the parking lot ten minutes late. _Or worse, they won’t even be there anymore. Then I’d have to fuck around with the bus system _again_._

“Felix?”

“Y- Yeah, Teacher Ahn, thank you so much.” Felix says, dipping into a quick bow before turning towards the door.

“Felix-”

“See you next week!” Felix waves at her as he dashes out the door.

He weaves through the crowds of people with clearly nothing better to do (why???) and runs to his locker, nearly slipping on the trash dumped in front of it.

“Not again,” Felix groans, nudging the taller cartons and stuff out of the way so he can _open_ his locker. He just grabs his duffel bag and starts running again.

He’s just pushed the back-exit door open when he sees a low blue sedan zoom out of the parking lot. “DAMMIT!”

Felix sprints across the parking lot to the chain-link gate, but the car’s already down the road.

_Why is everything so-_

Another car honks behind him.

“Felix! Get in!”

Felix turns around to find Hyunjin leaning half his body out the window of his brother’s car, waving at him, while his brother laughs. _Oh. Wrong car. _

Felix slides into the backseat, finding himself and his duffel bag squished up next to Changbin, Jisung, and Chan.

“I _told_ you he was coming.” Hyunjin sticks his tongue out at his brother once they manage to shut the back door.

“Okay, fine, you’re right. Do you want a prize?” Coach Park rolls his eyes as he drives out of the parking lot. The car slams onto the street with a jolt, and all four boys in the backseat let out uncomfortable noises. Coach Park glances at them through the rearview mirror. “You boys still good back there?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Chan manages to pull out a thumbs up.

“Yeah.” Changbin grunts, half-covered by gym bags.

“Yes, thanks, Coach.” Felix nods, because his arms are pinned to his sides.

“I think I busted a spleen.” Jisung groans.

“You’ll live.” Hyunjin reaches back and pats Jisung on the knee.

The car hits a pothole, and everyone in the back yelps.

Coach Park sighs as the string of complaints from the backseat. “I should seriously invest in a fucking bus if you’re going to keep insisting on turning my car into one.”

Hyunjin scoffs as he unwraps a hard candy he’s found in the cupholder. “You don’t have that kind of money, hyung.”

“Shut up.”

Felix’s usual throw-and-catch partner’s found a new partner in the time he’s been gone from training. Which makes him wonder if he had really been gone for _that_ long, or if Hyunjoon is just that quick to move on.

Felix is currently trying not to duck away from this crazy freshman’s throws, but the kid’s so enthusiastic that Felix fears for his life.

“Captain! Lee Felix! Over here!”

Felix nearly jumps when he hears Coach Wang’s voice carry across the field. He has to drop into a full squat to avoid getting hit in the face by the baseball.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry Mr. Felix sir!” The freshman says, dropping onto his knees.

“No, no it’s okay,” Felix scurries over to help the freshman to his feet. “It’s okay – I’m sorry, what’s your name again? Sorry.”

“Dongpyo.”

“It’s okay, Dongpyo,” Felix says, patting the freshman on the shoulder. “You didn’t actually hit me.”

“Lee Felix! Come over here!”

“Yes, Coach! Coming!” Felix says, really lifting his knees as he runs across the field to where Coach Wang and Changbin are waiting.

Changbin gives him a half-smile before turning to Coach Wang. “What is it, Coach?”

“I just wanted to know how you two were doing.”

“I’m good, Coach.” Changbin says firmly.

“Me too.” Felix says, though he feels like he sounds less convincing.

“That’s good to hear.” Coach Wang nods “Actually, Changbin, I owe you an apology for last time.”

Changbin straightens up, surprised. “N- No, Coach, it’s f- fine.”

“No,” Coach Wang says. “What I said was out of line, and I’m sorry.”

Changbin looks so uncomfortable that Felix desperately wants to know what happened while he was gone.

“Uh, Coach?” Felix says, raising his hand gently.

“Yes, Felix?”

“Not to be rude or anything, but why did you ask _me_ to come here?”

Coach Wang chuckles. “Don’t worry, I’m not just wasting your time. I needed to talk to you both about something.”

Changbin looks at Felix again, and Felix decides it’s time to stare down at the dirt for his own good.

“As you both know, the season’s coming up soon,” Coach Wang says. “After the training camp, it’s just two weeks till the prelims.”

“We kn- know that, Coach.” Changbin says.

“I know you know,” Coach Wang gives them a gentle smile. “But it’s got to go beyond just that. I’m going to need everyone in the team to be on the top of their game.”

Felix straightens up indignantly for them both. “We’re both very serious, Coach-”

“You haven’t been to training in weeks, Felix.” Coach Wang says, but he closes his mouth when he notices Changbin’s arms tense up. “Sorry. All I’m trying to say is that I need you guys to take better care of yourselves. For the team.”

Felix hears Changbin’s teeth grind against each other, so he says, “I won’t miss another training again, Coach, I’m sorry I-”

“You’re not even going to ask _why_ we had to miss training?” Changbin asks, his voice low.

Felix frowns at him. _Changbin’s never missed a single day of training. What happened-?_

“That’s none of my business.” Coach Wang says, blinking at Changbin in surprise. “My job ends at making sure you guys can do the best you can do. Which you can’t do if you can’t commit to the-”

“I’d stop right there if I were you, Coach. So you’re not forced to make another _apology_.” Changbin says.

“Cap,” Felix reaches out and touches him gently on the arm. Changbin’s starting to scare Felix, even if Coach Wang looks unbothered.

“I’m sorry, Coach, we’ll do better in the future.” Felix says. “And we didn’t mean to rude. We’re sorry.”

Coach Wang narrows his eyes at Changbin. “At least _someone’s_ mom taught him to be polite.”

Felix lowers his gaze to the dirt again.

“Take it back.” Changbin says.

Felix reaches out and grabs Changbin by the wrist. “Cap, it’s okay. He doesn’t know.”

Changbin shakes Felix’s hand off.

“Doesn’t give him a pass.” Changbin says, turning to storm off down the field again.

Felix looks up at Coach Wang, who looks completely taken aback.

“Is he always like that?” The coach asks Felix.

“He’s a good guy.” Felix says without even taking a breath. “He’s just going through a tough time.”

“Aren’t we all? That’s no excuse.”

Felix draws lines in the dirt using the tips of his cleats.

“Dude.” Jisung says, flicking Felix on the shoulder. “Head in the game.”

“Yeah, sorry.” Felix straightens up and gives his glove an experimental stretch. _Time to act like a baseman. Baseman time. Time to be a baseman. _

_What happened to Changbin last time?_

Felix flexes his glove thoughtfully. “Hey, Jisung?”

Jisung’s watching the current batter, Juyeon like a cat watches a laser dot on the wall. He’s already shimmying away from the base, ready to fly off to the next one.

“Jisung?” Felix calls.

Jisung ignores him, still trying to get further and further away.

“Hey, Jisung, wait.” Felix frowns, grabbing Jisung by the back of his jersey. “You’re supposed to be here.”

“It’s called stealing bases.” Jisung hisses at Felix, tugging his shirt out of Felix’s grasp. “Let me _steaaal_.”

“Wait, I just wanted to ask you something-”

“Right fucking now?” Jisung notices the dead serious look on Felix’s face and sighs. “Fine. What is it?”

“What happened to Changbin during training last time?”

“Oh.” Jisung’s eyes flit back to Juyeon at bat, who’s just made his second strike. Jisung cups his hands around his mouth, “Oh come _on_, Hyunjin, stop bullying people!” 

“Jisung, what happened to Changbin?” Felix asks again, poking Jisung in his side.

Jisung squirms away as he says, “He passed out. Good thing Coach Park was there to catch him. Which was pretty hot, if I do say so-”

“Changbin _passed out_?” Felix frowns at the idea of the strongest, healthiest person he knows… _fainting_. “Why?”

“He didn’t eat or something like that- YES!” Jisung squeaks suddenly, leaping away from Felix to fly to the next base.

Felix is almost too concerned to realize the ball’s flying towards him. He just watches his body move without him, like he’s watching a movie. His hand catches the ball, tossing it to the other hand, which reaches out to tap the runner from second base.

Who happens to be Changbin.

“Change!” Coach Park shouts, gesturing for both of their mini-teams to switch.

Changbin’s already walking back towards the dugout when Felix reaches out to tap him on the shoulder, but at the last moment, Felix draws his hand back.

_He doesn’t pester me about my problems. I should give him the same courtesy. _

Changbin turns around suddenly and looks at Felix with his eyebrows raised. “Yeah?”

“I- I didn’t,” Felix looks down at his hand, completely confused. _I hadn’t even touched him. _

“Oh, I thought you wanted to ask me something.” Changbin laughs. “Hunger really gets to your head, huh?”

Felix had been smiling back, but his smile drops. “Cap, I-”

“Felix!” Chan calls out from near the home plate, waving a bat. “You’re up first!”

Changbin gives Felix one last smile. “Good luck, Felix.”

“Thanks.” Felix says, adding on instinct, “You too.”

Changbin frowns, looking at the bench he’s firmly seated on. “Uh, thanks, I guess.”

Felix screws up his face and buries it in his hands. _God, Felix, you’re such an embarrassment. _


	8. “STAN LOONA” – Kim Seungmin

“Changbin, can I talk to you after class?”

“Sure, Coa- Teacher Park.” Changbin frowns as he takes the paper Coach – _no, Teacher _Park’s holding out to him. It’s the exam they’d had the week earlier, and Changbin’s expecting the worst. He’d only had a third of the time to answer it, and he’d rushed and guessed a lot of it.

He unfolds the paper gingerly.

_43/50_, the score reads in the upper right-hand corner.

Changbin frowns and looks up at Coach/Teacher Park as he hands out the other exams to the girls near the back, who are already trying to negotiate their scores. Coach Park just rolls his eyes and says, “Girls, this is a classroom, not a market. I don’t bargain.”

Changbin would’ve laughed with the rest of the class at that, but he’s confused as hell. _I passed… What could he want to talk to me about? _

Mina kicks the leg of Changbin’s chair. “What did you get?”

Changbin turns the corner of the paper towards her discreetly, but he can feel Chanhee peeking over his shoulder.

“That’s fucking unfair, man.” Chanhee grumbles, slumping back in his seat.

“Why, what’d you get?” Changbin whispers to him.

Chanhee practically tosses his paper at Changbin. _24/50. _“Didn’t even get half, haha.”

Mina looks like she’s got a dry retort at the ready, but she swallows it down and kicks Changbin’s chair again. “Why does Teacher Park want to talk to you, then?”

“No idea.”

“He’s probably gonna give you a medal or something.” Chanhee snorts. “You’re probably the only one who pa-”

“That’s all for today, guys, see you next week.” Coach Park say from the back of the classroom, where he’s still fending off girls begging for extra credit.

“Goodbye, Teacher Park!” Chanhee jumps to his feet, standing straight as a soldier and so suddenly that Mina and Changbin laugh.

“Get up and say goodbye properly, assholes.” Chanhee grumbles at them.

Changbin finds himself standing behind three of his classmates still trying to get Coach Park to give them more points. _You guys should try training under Coach Park, _Changbin thinks with a small grin.

“No, for the last time, if you didn’t pass this exam, it’s not the end of the world. We have two more. Go enjoy your weekend, already!” Coach Park looks so frustrated with them that Changbin can hardly stop himself from laughing.

“Happy weekend, Teacher Park.” Changbin’s classmates sigh and start trudging out of the room.

“Hey, Coach.” Changbin’s got his slightly crumpled exam in his hands. “Did you wanna talk about school or baseball stuff? Are the new uniforms in?”

Coach Park gives him a grimace, like he’s about to tell Changbin he accidentally ran over Changbin’s dog. _Not that Mom would ever let me have a dog. _

“No, there’s been some mess-up with the uniforms, they’re redoing them. I hope they’ll make it to our first match.” Coach Park shrugs. “But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. I, uh… It’s your exam.”

Changbin unfolds the paper in his hands and looks down at it again. _Maybe I read it wrong, maybe it’s actually 23/50 or something. Or 13/50._

“But I passed, Coach.”

“Uh, yeah, actually, you did better than just passing, so I know it seems weird for me to want to talk to you about it, but…” Coach Park makes a face. “I don’t know how to say this, but you’re way better than a 43/50.”

Changbin feels a bit warm in his chest when Coach Park says that. “I didn’t have enough time to check my answers.”

“I know that. But you’re not usually the type to be late for an exam. Not _that_ late. And it’s not just this time, you’ve been pretty distracted even during training.” Coach Park looks down at Changbin, tilting his head to one side a little bit. Changbin knows that look. It means, _I know something’s wrong, so just save us the awkward questions and tell me._

Changbin can’t bring himself to tell Coach Park the truth. But he can’t lie to him, either. So he stands there looking back at Coach Park in complete silence.

“Is something bothering you? _Someone_?” Coach Park asks. “You’ve got to tell me, Changbin, I suck at guessing. Is something going on at home?”

“No.” Changbin replies quickly.

“Well then, is it…” Coach Park’s face screw up into something funny. “Your love life?”

Changbin hopes his frown looks convincing when he says, “Yeah, something like that.”

“Oh.” Coach Park looks like he’s stifling a smile. He claps Changbin on the arm. “I know you’re not gonna listen to me, but I’d suggest you focus on school and don’t worry about that stuff. The right person will just come when they come.”

“Ok.” Changbin says. “Thanks, Coach.”

“No problem.”

“Well, that was stupid.” Seungmin says, shrugging at the movie trailer Hyunjin’s just shown him on his phone.

“Yeah.” Hyunjin agrees. “Want to watch it?”

“Sure.” Seungmin says. “When?”

“After we get off work.” Hyunjin leans on the nearest dog cage while Seungmin fills the dog’s bowl with water.

“Sure.” Seungmin grins.

The door at the end of the hallway swings open. “There you guys are!”

“Hey, Boss.” Seungmin huffs as he lifts the water container to pour water into the next dog’s bowl.

“What’s up, Boss?” Hyunjin asks, sliding the bowl back into the cage.

“There are some people in the lobby looking to adopt a cat,” Mark explains. Then he screws up his face. “I’m really busy with the inventory right now, so could you guys tour them around?”

Seungmin and Hyunjin exchange nervous looks.

“What exactly do we have to do?” Seungmin asks.

“Uh,” Mark makes another face while he thinks. “Just be cute, but not cuter than the animals.”

Hyunjin nods slowly, his face furrowing into a frown. “That’s going to be very hard for Seungmin.”

Seungmin snorts.

Mark sighs. “Whatever, can you just deal with them politely so they bring home a cat and we don’t get sued?”

“Sure thing, Boss.” Seungmin salutes Mark with a peace sign, which leaves the latter baffled as Seungmin starts dragging Hyunjin back towards the lobby. “Let’s go, Hyunjin.”

“Going out for a run, Mama.”

Chan’s mom glances at the clock. “Will you be back for dinner?”

“Yeah.” Chan says, double-tying his shoelaces. “Could you please, um, make an extra setting? Just in case?”

Chan’s mom smiles. “Sure.”

Miya looks up from her homework. “Are you bringing Younghoon-oppa over?”

“No asking him to do your homework.” Chan grins, flicking one of Miya’s braids.

Miya grabs ahold of her braids possessively. “I don’t ask him to _do _my homework, I ask him to _help_.”

“What_ever_, Miya.” Chan laughs, tucking his phone into his jacket pocket and zipping it up.

Seungmin hears the people they have to tour before he and Hyunjin even get to the lobby. Because they’re shouting at each other.

Hyunjin gives him a nervous look, but Seungmin just sighs as he pushes open the door to the lobby.

“Hi Minho.” Seungmin says to his captain, and to the tall woman with cherry red lipstick currently shouting at Minho, he says, “Hi Minho’s sister.”

Hyunjin looks back and forth between Minho and his sister with a frown on his face.

“Guys, this is my ugly-ass sister, Soojin,” Minho gestures towards his sister, who raises a fist at him in warning. He ignores it. “Soojin-noona, these are my friends Seungmin and Hyunjin.”

“Your _friends_?” Minho’s sister makes a face at the boys. “I thought this place was run by like, I dunno, _adults_.”

“Oh, it is.” Seungmin says with a good-natured smile. “The adults are just busy with the inventory.”

“Yikes, inventory.” Minho shudders from experience. He looks over at Hyunjin. “Didn’t know you worked here, too.”

Hyunjin shrugs. “I like animals.”

“My brother does, too.” Minho’s sister snorts. “That’s why he’s dating Jisung.”

Minho opens his mouth like he’s about to shout something, then he closes it and nods. “Yeah, well, it’s true.”

“So!” Seungmin says, clapping his hands so hard it echoes a couple of times in the shelter’s lobby. “Who would like to see some cats?”

“What are you playing, _golf_? Lift your elbows.”

Jeongin’s hands tremble. He looks back at his dad for help, but his dad seems busy playing with Jeongin’s baby sister in a papoose across his chest.

“Daaaaaaddy!” Jeongin wails.

His dad looks up, and so does Yuna, but her expression is less friendly. “Yeah?”

“Heeeelp!” Jeongin whines, ducking out of the way while a machine hurls baseballs at him.

“Honey,” Jeongin’s dad says gently from where he’s standing safely behind a net. “Maybe you should go easy on him.”

“No, maybe we _shouldn’t_.” Jeongin’s mom crosses her arms before shouting, “Lift your elbows!”

“Yes Mommy.” Jeongin sighs as he raises his elbows at 90 degrees and tries desperately to whack the baseballs away from him, at least.

Yuna giggles loudly, kicking her feet in their little pink socks.

_At least _someone’s_ getting a kick out of this. _Jeongin thinks as he scrambles away from the baseballs again. Jeongin had thought it would be a fun Friday night for the whole family to go hit up the batting cages in the next city. He and his parents could spend some quality time playing their favorite sport, and Yuna could try out what it’s like _not_ being the center of attention for once.

“Don’t run away from them!” Jeongin’s mom shouts from where she’s reloading the machine with more ammo to hurl at her only son. “They’re _just_ balls!”

“MOMMY PLEASE!” Jeongin begs, having to do a horrible kind of jig to avoid getting pummeled with baseballs.

Yuna laughs and claps both her hands and feet.

“Honey,” Jeongin’s dad laughs, patting his daughter on the stomach to try to calm her down. “Honey, please don’t kill our son.”

Jeongin’s mom purses her lips. “We can always make another one.”

“MOMMY!” Jeongin whines from where he’s crouched on the fake grass in fetal position.

Hyunjin holds the door open for Minho and his sister, surprised that their expressions don’t change when the Very Strong Cat Pee Smell wafts towards them. _Well, they started out looking bitchy, I guess that’s just always how they look. _

“I want a white one.” Minho’s sister says calmly, waltzing down the aisle between the cat cages like she’s in some boutique.

“We’re not gonna pick one out just for its color. You’re so fucking shallow.” Minho rolls his eyes. He squats suddenly next to one of the cages. “Oh my god this one’s so cute it’s so _yellow_!”

“Move over, shallow bitch.” Minho’s sister bumps him out of the way with her hip and squats in front of the cage.

The cat in the cage snarls at her, and she snarls back, to Hyunjin’s confusion.

She looks up at him. “Are there any babier ones?”

Hyunjin can hardly form a reply – Minho’s sister’s lipstick is _really_ red and it’s making Hyunjin’s brain short circuit. _Maybe I’m like those animals that shit when they see the color red. Or a bull. Maybe I’m like a bull._

“That’s not even a real word.” Minho says from where he’s brushing off the knees of his jeans. Or, at least, where the knee part of his jeans would’ve been if there had been any.

“Fuck you.” Soojin slings an arm around Seungmin’s shoulder. Hyunjin flinches protectively, then decides he’s better off not even _trying _to stop Minho’s sister. “So, Seungmin, are there any little baby kitten types around here?”

Seungmin grimaces as he shimmies out of her grasp. “Uh, the younger cats are this way.”

“What the _hell_ is that?”

Younghoon blinks up at Chan. “What?”

“That. Over there.” Chan points at something far away.

Younghoon groans as he disentangles himself from Chan to squint at whatever his boyfriend had been pointing at. They’re on a bench in one of the university’s parks overlooking the city in the valley below. The sun’s setting low behind the skyline, and fog is starting to roll in, so honestly, Younghoon can’t see _anything_.

“Sorry, Chan, what are you-”

“_There_!” Chan grabs Younghoon by the waist and twists him in the direction he’d been pointing at. Younghoon would’ve complained if he weren’t so turned on right now.

Younghoon squints, trying to focus with Chan breathing down his neck like this. He manages to make out the steel frame of some huge structure being built. “Oh. That. It’s going to be a new shopping mall. I think the Kims own it.”

“As in… your family?” Chan frowns.

“No, Chan, they’re-” Younghoon makes the mistake of looking up into Chan’s eyes, which are barely a fist away from his own. _Why am I measuring distances by fists? That’s so medieval._

“They’re…what?” Chan prompts him, but he’s climbing into Younghoon’s lap, running shorts and all.

“I don’t know.” Younghoon tucks his thumbs into the waistband of Chan’s shorts, pulling him closer. “I forgot what I was going to say because _someone_ distracted me.”

“You were talking about the new shopping mall we definitely don’t need.”

“Yeah, we don’t need it at all,” Younghoon breathes. He’s well aware that they’re technically in public, but he’s not about to subject Chan to death by interrogation courtesy of his annoying roommate. _And no way would we be able to do this in _Chan’s_ house. _Younghoon laughs at the idea.

“What’s so funny?” Chan asks, tilting Younghoon’s chin up towards him with one finger.

“We’re always making out in weird places.” Younghoon pecks Chan on the lips.

“_You’re_ the one who can’t kick out your roommate so we can have an actual room to ourselves.” Chan pretends to grumble, bending over to plant a wet kiss on Younghoon’s neck.

“Bang Chan, that’s the meanest thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

“I think all this pent-up… uh, _horniness_ is making me mean.” Chan laughs.

“We need to do something about that, then.” Younghoon casts one last wary look at the forest around them before slipping one of his hands into Chan’s shorts.

“What’s up, everyone, it’s ya boi Felix.” Felix grins at the camera before looking back at his computer. “Just a few updates: I finished the church the other day, sorry I didn’t stream it, but it was asscrack o’clock and uh, I looked pretty bad.”

> _10v3bomb: _doubt it

Felix laughs. “Thanks, dude, I appreciate your faith in my visuals.” He tucks his hands under his chin like leaves under a flower. Then he crumples into a cringing heap. “Oh god, I’m so sorry, everyone.”

He straightens up and picks up his mouse again. “Anyway, let’s go back to the church, it’s looking real… churchy.”

Felix has his character fly over to the finished church, which looks so _right_ that Felix is deeply proud of his atheist self.

“I’m going to start on a big-ish project now, the skyscrapers- Well, they’re just around thirty floors each, but they’re much bigger than the other buildings around here.”

Felix goes over to a wide avenue lined with trees but no buildings. He cracks his neck and knuckles. “All right, let’s get this bread, everyone.”

“We’ve got some six-month old ones,” Seungmin says, trying to talk over the deafening mews from the kittens around them.

Minho and his sister are crab-walking past the cages now, never standing up for fear of missing one of the kittens.

“This one’s cute.”

“No, this one’s cute.”

“Are you sure we’re just gonna get _one_?”

“How are we gonna hide _two_ from our fucking parents?”

“How are we gonna hide _one_?”

Seungmin looks over at Hyunjin, who’s gone ahead to the end of the hallway. He leaves the Lee siblings to argue for a moment and walks over to Hyunjin.

“When did this one come in?” Hyunjin asks, one finger poked into the tiny black kitten’s cage while the kitten inspects it.

“Last week. You were on dog duty this week so I guess you haven’t met her.” Seungmin squats next to Hyunjin and starts unlatching the cage.

“Has she gotten shots yet?” Hyunjin asks, backing away suddenly.

Seungmin laughs as he cradles the kitten in his hands. “Nope.”

“_Kim Seungmin_ if you get rabies and die-”

“I won’t, relax.” Seungmin laughs, but he jumps when he hears footsteps behind him. Then he remembers that they’d been touring people, and it’s not his boss coming over to fire him. Probably.

“Awww, that one’s so cute,” Minho coos, gently petting the kitten between her ears.

Soojin nearly crumples into a smiling heap when the kitten lets out a teeny tiny pink yawn. “Did you name this one, too?”

Seungmin blushes. _Oh crap._

“We’re not allowed to name them.” Hyunjin explains.

“But the other ones had names.” Minho says flatly.

“There’s no _way_ you didn’t name this pretty little kitty,” Soojin wiggles her shoulders in delight as she pets the kitten with one heavily manicured finger. “What’s her-”

“Hyunjin.” Seungmin admits finally.

“What?” Hyunjin looks at Seungmin expectantly.

“Hyunjin.” Seungmin says again, feeling like he’s shooting himself in the foot every time he says it. “Her name’s Hyunjin.”

Minho just frowns at Seungmin with his mouth slightly ajar, but Soojin looks from Hyunjin to the kitten Hyunjin then back to Seungmin.

“Like _him_ Hyunjin?” She asks, pointing at Hyunjin, who couldn’t look more confused. Which is saying something, with Hyunjin.

“Like _me_ Hyunjin?” Hyunjin points at himself.

Seungmin feels the edges of his lips pull into a tight grimace. “Well, uh, you see…”

“Honestly, Seungmin.” Minho rolls his eyes.

“Our boss named her!” Seungmin says. “He’s a huge Loona fan!”

Hyunjin lifts an eyebrow. “Mr. Tuan?”

“Yeah!”

“Who’d have thought.” Hyunjin shrugs.

Minho folds his arms. “You can’t honestly expect me to believe-”

“STAN LOONA!” Seungmin squawks out.

Changbin watches his phone’s screen go black right in front of him. He sighs and twists over in bed to plug it into its charger hanging from the wall. Serves him right for streaming videos until it was down to 1%.

Someone knocks on his door.

“Changbin!”

Changbin scrambles out of bed and opens his door. “Yes, Dad?”

“Could you prepare dinner? Your mom’s not back yet.”

Changbin frowns at the clock on the living room wall. He hadn’t realized that he hadn’t had dinner yet, but he hadn’t felt hungry. “I thought her flight landed four hours ago.”

“So did I.” Changbin’s dad’s teeth grind against each other so loudly that Changbin can hear it.

“It’s okay, Dad, I’ll make dinner.” Changbin pats his dad on the arm as he passes him. Changbin ducks into their pantry and starts going through the canned food they have left, which isn’t much.

“Changbin!” His dad shouts from the couch, probably. “Can you get the door? It’s probably your mother.”

Changbin puts down the canned tuna he’d been checking the expiry date of and makes his way to the front door. He undoes the five locks and the deadbolt and pulls it open. “Hi Mo- I mean, h- hello, ma’am.” Changbin catches himself and makes a quick bow.

The woman in the doorway bows back shyly. She opens her mouth to say something, then closes it and holds out the pot she’s been carrying. “I made too much beef stew.”

“Uh,” Changbin hears his dad’s house slippers shuffle behind him. “Th- thanks, T- Teacher Ahn, but-”

“You don’t need to call me Teacher Ahn outside of school.” The woman laughs, and it’s such a nice, warm sound that Changbin finds himself smiling, too. “I’m not that much older than you, you can just call me-”

“Hyejin,” Changbin’s dad says from behind Changbin.

“D- I, ah, I mean, Mr. Seo,” The history teacher says, suddenly tripping over her words. She holds out the pot awkwardly. “I have food.”

Changbin steps out of the way. Even in his food-deprived state, he’d have to be really stupid not to notice how slowly his dad takes the pot of beef stew from Teacher Ahn.

“Thank you,” Changbin’s father says with a gentle smile. “Have you had dinner yet? You can join-”

“Oh, no, no thank you.” Teacher Ahn insists, stepping back suddenly. “That’d be pretty weird for Changbin, wouldn’t it, Changbin?”

Changbin thinks about it for a moment. “No, actually.”

“Well, anyway, I’ve already eaten,” Teacher Ahn says firmly. “But thank you for the offer, it’s very kind of you.”

Changbin’s father’s smile falters just a little bit.

“I’ll see you at school next week, Changbin.” Teacher Ahn says to Changbin.

“See you, Teacher Ahn.” Changbin gives her a polite nod.

The history teacher glances up at Changbin’s dad and freezes in place for a moment. “Good night, Mr. Seo.”

“Good night,” Changbin’s father says gently. He adds as an afterthought, “Uh, Miss Ahn.”

He carries the pot of stew to the table, leaving Changbin to bolt up the door with a very, very deep frown on his face.


	9. And They Were Roommates (Oh My God They Were Roommates)

“Have you seen Changbin?” Is the first thing Jisung asks Chan when the latter arrives at the front gate of the school.

Chan frowns back at Jisung. “No, why?”

“He’s not picking up his phone.” Hyunjin says, wiggling his phone against his ear.

“Shit shit shit shit.” Jisung starts hopping around from foot to foot which, in itself, looks kind of funny, so it looks downright ridiculously with the two giant duffel bags hanging from his shoulders. Hyunjin turns away with his shoulders shaking, while Chan bites down on his bottom lip to keep a straight face.

“What’re you all doing standing around here?” Hyunjin’s brother comes stomping up to them. “I’ve had the engine running for ten minutes!”

“We’re still waiting for Changbin, Coach.” Chan says.

“What? Where is he?” Coach Park looks all around and behind them with a frown forming on his face, like he’d expected Changbin to be hiding behind Jisung’s leg or something.

“Don’t know.” Hyunjin winces when a robotic-sounding woman’s voice starts screaming into his ear about Changbin’s phone being unreachable. “He’s not picking up, hyung.”

Jisung sucks his cheeks in. “He can’t have… _forgotten_ about training camp? Right?”

“Changbin would never.” Coach Park and Chan say at once, almost defensively.

Hyunjin’s fiddling with his phone. “What should we do?”

“I don’t know.” Chan admits, looking up at Coach Park for help.

“Come on.” Coach Park says, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he starts towards the minibus parked at the corner. “Let’s go.”

Hyunjin and Jisung are stunned for a second, but start trailing after Hyunjin’s brother like ducklings. Only Chan stays rooted to the spot.

“Changbin’s the captain. We can’t just leave him.” Chan says firmly.

Coach Park stops and turns around, flashing the spreadsheet he’s just opened on his phone. “We’re not going to. I have his address.”

Chan leans against the window to turn his phone screen away from Coach Wang, whose expression’s in this murky area of Totally Pissed off.

> Channie: YOUNGHOON I”M FUCKING TERRIFIED
> 
> 🐻❤: Why? What’s happening?
> 
> Channie: Coach Wang looks like he’s gonna rip a dude in HALF
> 
> Channie: IN FUCKIGN HALF
> 
> 🐻❤: As long as the dude isn’t you then I’m good.
> 
> Channie: wait that’s not nice :c
> 
> 🐻❤: I’m kidding, Chan.
> 
> Channie: oh haha
> 
> 🐻❤: Why is Coach Wang so angry?
> 
> Channie: we’re going on a detour to pick up Changbin from his place
> 
> 🐻❤: As in Seo Changbin?
> 
> Channie: yeah
> 
> 🐻❤: Why?
> 
> Channie: idk he wasn’t at the school
> 
> Channie: i really dunno
> 
> 🐻❤: Changbin’s been kinda out of it lately, hasn’t he?

Chan’s about to type out a categorical “no he hasn’t” when Coach Wang stands up suddenly. The minibus had been making a turn at that moment, but the head coach had stood up and walked casually to the driver’s seat as if he’d been on solid ground.

“Jinyoung.” Coach Wang says sternly. “I thought you said it was just five minutes from the school.”

“It usually is.” Coach Park says, but he doesn’t seem to have the ability to drive and lie at the same time.

“We have to be at the camp at ten.”

“We _will_.” Coach Park says forcefully. “We’ve just got to pick Changbin up first.”

“Fine.” Coach Wang sits back down next to Chan, bristling with such visible irritation that Chan feels the hairs on his arms stand up in fear.

Coach Wang turns to Chan with a slightly softer expression and asks, “Who are you texting?”

“M- My mom.” Chan replies without thinking.

“Here you go, Mom.”

Changbin holds out the flight attendant uniform he’d just pressed.

His mom stops brushing her eyelashes with mascara. “Oh, thanks, Changbin.”

Changbin stands in the doorway, watching his mom apply more mascara he doesn’t feel she needs.

“You have training today, right?” His mom asks as she lines her lips with a pencil.

Changbin knows exactly what he’s doing when he says, “I have training camp, but Dad didn’t let me go.”

His mom accidentally draws a red line across her cheek in lip liner. “_What_?”

“He said we don’t have money for it.”

Changbin’s mom throws her lip pencil back in her makeup bag. “And whose fault is _that_?”

Changbin shrugs. There’s no answer to that question.

“How much do you need?” His mom grabs her purse and starts digging around until she pulls out her wallet. “How much?”

Changbin hadn’t expected it to be that easy, and now he feels guilty. “I- It’s okay, Mom, it doesn’t matter, they’ve already gone without me-”

He’s interrupted by a series of loud knocks on the door. Changbin and his mom exchange confused looks.

His mom starts towards the door, but Changbin stops her by the arm. “Mom, your lipstick.”

She glances at her reflection in the mirror and notices the line across her cheek. “Shit. You get the door.”

“Okay.”

Changbin unlocks the front door and finds himself frowning. “Hello… Teacher Ahn.”

“Hi, Changbin, good morning,” Teacher Ahn gives him a warm smile. “Are you packed?”

“What?”

“Jinyoung- I mean, Teacher Park and the other boys are waiting for you downstairs.”

Changbin cocks his head to one side as he tries to understand.

“Who is it?” Changbin’s mom asks, coming out of the room with her lipstick all on her lips, where it should be. Her face sours when she sees Teacher Ahn standing outside the door. She puts an arm protectively around Changbin. “What are _you_ doing here?”

“Hi, uh, the baseball team is waiting for Changbin downstairs.” Teacher Ahn says anxiously. “I just came to tell him that- I mean, _you_. I came to let you know.”

Changbin’s already slipped out from under his mom’s arm to go throw some clothes and stuff into a backpack before she can even think of stopping him.

“Changbin!” His mom shouts from outside his room, though their house isn’t big enough to warrant shouting. “Seo Changbin!”

Changbin opens the door, breathless from changing into an entirely new outfit and throwing all the rest of his clean clothes into a backpack. “Y- Yes, Mom?”

“What is _that woman_ talking about? Where are you going?”

“The training camp I was just telling you about.” Changbin says, and he tiptoes to peck her on the foundation-heavy cheek before she can figure things out. “See you next week, Mom!”

“Seo Changbin! Wait!”

Felix feels his heart drum all the way to his ears when Changbin steps onto the minibus. Changbin looks terrible – well, tired as hell, but still cute – as he bows repeatedly to Coach Wang, stammering out apologies for being late.

Felix feels bad for him, but that’s not what’s got his heart lurching around in his chest like a drunken gymnast.

“There’s only one empty seat there near the back.” Coach Wang says curtly, neither accepting nor rejecting Changbin’s apologies. He squints at the back of the bus. “Boys, let Changbin through.”

The guys sitting in the jumpseats grumble as they stand up, but clap Changbin on the back and shoulders as he passes.

“Hey Changbin.” Juyeon says.

“How you doing, man?” Sunwoo asks.

“’Morning, Changbin.” Youngjae mumbles.

“Did you sleep in, dude?” Hyunjoon jokes.

“It takes a lot of sleep to look this good,” Changbin replies dryly, making a lazy gesture around his face, dark circles and all, as he squeezes down the minibus aisle.

Felix realizes he’s holding his breath only when Changbin flops into the only empty seat in the bus.

“Hey Felix.” Changbin gives Felix a tired smile, even though it’s only eight in the morning.

“Hi Cap.” Is all Felix can manage in his winded state.

Felix had, in a desperate attempt to save himself, slid his headphones on as soon as Coach Park had started the minibus up again. He’d noticed the slightly disappointed look on Changbin’s face – or, at least, that’s what he’d hoped it was – but he’d turned the volume up and turned to the window anyway.

_Dumbass move, Felix. Dumb. Ass. Move._

_You fuckin played yourself, dude._

Felix shifts in his seat. He’s pressed against the window of the minibus, which is starting to heat up with the climbing morning sun, but he doesn’t have a choice.

Changbin shifts in _his_ seat, his head nestled on Felix’s shoulder.

_Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh GOD-_

Felix doesn’t know how much longer he can hold his breath until death or unconsciousness finally takes him. _Whichever comes first._

The minibus has been climbing bumpy mountain roads for the better part of an hour, shaking the boys inside it like beans in a maraca, but that’s not stopped Changbin’s from sleeping peacefully on Felix’s shoulder the entire ride.

Felix vaguely hears people’s voices at the front of the bus. After all the other boys had fallen asleep, the minibus had finally become quiet enough for Felix to hear things like that.

He sees Chan’s face pop up over the seats.

“Wakey-wakey, guys, we’re here!”

The rest of the team start stirring, wiping their drool off the corners of their mouths, and stretching into each other’s faces.

But not Changbin.

Felix turns his face just a teeny tiny bit to look down at Changbin. Felix has no idea whether he’s actually comfortable with his head at a weird angle like that just to lean on Felix’s shoulder, but he doesn’t seem to be waking up, so… _I guess my shoulder’s comfier than it looks. _

Jisung stands up and starts banging a spoon on someone else’s hydroflask. “RISE AND SHINE, MOTHERFUCKERS! RISE AND SHIIIIIIIINE!”

Hyunjin scowls from where he’s stuck seated next to Jisung, but before he can say anything, a baseball cap whips through the air and smacks right into Jisung’s nose.

“Ow fuuuck,” Jisung mumbles, sinking back into his seat while he rubs his nose.

The minibus rumbles to a stop, because the road ahead has come to an abrupt stop, too. To their right is nothing but trees as far as Felix can see, but to their left is a kind of squat, cream colored building with green-tinted windows. The forest seems to creep right up against the building, and it’s so dense that Felix wonders where they’re planning to play baseball, if they’re even going to.

Coach Park pulls the handbrake and gets up.

“Can I have my cap back?” He asks, holding his hand out to Jisung.

Hyunjin picks up his brother’s cap from where it’d fallen after whacking Jisung in the nose. He tosses it back to Jinyoung. “Here you go, hyung.”

Felix feels Changbin’s shoulders tighten up. “Cap? We’re here.”

Changbin rolls his shoulders and yawns, curling his tongue as he does. _Like a kitten, _Felix thinks, his lips curling into a smile before he can stop himself.

“Where _are_ we?” Changbin asks, squinting groggily out the window.

“Uh…” Felix looks out at the trees that seem to go on for miles and miles around. “No idea.”

“Everyone here?” Coach Wang asks, clapping his hands together. His voice echoes in the building’s wide lobby, which empty save for two couches and a few unkempt potted plants.

Chan frowns and starts counting.

“Yes, Coach.” Changbin says, before Chan’s finished counting all eleven members of the team on his fingers.

Chan smiles and claps Changbin on the arm. “You’re so fast.”

Changbin sort of smiles back. He’s not, really.

“We arrived here a _little_ earlier than we’d expected,” Coach Wang says, casting an accusing look at Coach Park, who just shrugs with his hands in his pockets like he believes speed limits are for _other_ people. “So we have half an hour to get settled in before we start our first activity.”

The boys start exchanging scheming grins.

“But before I give the room assignments, let’s go over some house rules.” Coach Wang says, having a hard time giving sharp looks to the entire team.

“First things first, we’re only renting this half of the hostel,” Coach Wang points at the brightly lit stairwell to his right. “So I don’t want anyone going into the other half for _any_ reason.”

He jerks his head towards the dim stairwell at the opposite end of the lobby.

Jisung frowns at Changbin, mouthing, ‘What the fuck?’

Changbin ignores him and says, “Yes, Coach.”

The rest of the team mumble their agreement, still not looking away from the darkened stairwell.

“Second, the hostel staff will clean up after us and cook our food, but I want everyone to pick up after themselves as if there isn’t any staff.” Coach Wang says. He notices Jisung raising his hand. “Yes, Jisung?”

“Where _are _they?” Jisung asks.

“Who?”

“The hostel staff. Where are they?” Jisung waves his arms around in a wide gesture. “We’re the only ones here.”

“From what the person I spoke to over the phone said, they don’t have that many people employed here,” Coach Wang says, but he’s also frowning at the empty reception desk in the middle of the lobby. “Maybe they’re making lunch?”

Jisung nods placidly, unconvinced.

“Anyway, all our rooms are on the second floor, and I’ve been told that the third floor is still under construction, so please just don’t go up there, either.” Coach Wang says, which makes Jisung’s eyes widen again. “Coach Park will give out the room assignments in a little while, but one last thing: We will be strictly enforcing a curfew of 9 pm. No one should leave their rooms after then.”

Jisung raises his hand again.

Coach Wang sighs, but Coach Park looks amused. “Yes, Jisung?”

“Why is the curfew so early?” Jisung asks.

“Because the ghosts come out at 9:05.” Coach Park replies calmly.

“_Coach Park_.” Coach Wang gives him a disapproving frown before turning to Jisung’s pale face. “We have an early start tomorrow and I want everyone to be well-rested.”

Jisung nods again, still unconvinced.

“All right, listen up for the room assignments. We won’t be able to keep an eye on all of you guys at all times,” Coach Park says. “So you’ve got to tell me or Coach Wang immediately if your roommate has been devoured by a werewolf or possessed by demons-”

“Coach Park.” Coach Wang says sternly.

“I’m just joking,” Coach Park says, unable to stop himself from grinning at Jisung’s paper-white face. “But seriously, we’re on a mountain in the middle of nowhere, the nearest town is half an hour away, so let’s just look out for each other, okay?”

“Yes, Coach.” The boys mumble in unison.

Changbin watches Jisung lug his duffel bag unceremoniously up the stairs, then dump it at the second-floor landing. Then Jisung vaults over the planks of wood nailed across the stairs going up to the off-limits third floor.

Changbin sighs. He should’ve expected as much from Jisung.

“Jisung.” Changbin calls out. “Get your ass back here.”

Jisung scurries back down to the landing. “I wasn’t gonna-”

“Cut the bullshit and get this out of the way before someone trips on it,” Changbin nudges Jisung’s duffel bag with the tip of his sneaker. “You heard Coach Wang, that part is still under construction.”

“Yes,” Jisung says slowly as he bends to pick up his bag. He looks up at Changbin with wide eyes. “But do you _believe_ him?”

Changbin sighs again. “What does Coach Wang have to gain from lying to us?”

“Okay, fine, maybe he’s not _lying _exactly – oof.” Jisung grunts when he realizes he can’t lift his bag. He starts dragging it down the second-floor hallway. “But don’t you think this place is super weird?”

Changbin shrugs. “It looks clean.”

“_Too_ clean! There’s nobody here!” Jisung squeaks out anxiously. “No staff, no construction workers working on the part that _supposedly_ under construction-”

“It’s a Saturday, maybe they have the day off.”

Jisung shakes his head as he drags his bag down the hallway. “This place is definitely haunted.”

“Ghosts aren’t real.” Changbin says, annoyed by the scrape of Jisung’s bag against the tiled floor. He reaches over with his free hand to pick up Jisung’s duffel bag.

“Okay, maybe it’s not ghosts,” Jisung pouts, holding the door to his assigned room open while Changbin carries his bag inside. “Maybe there’s a demonic cult and they’re going to _sacrifice_ us or something.”

“Then you have nothing to worry about.” Jisung’s assigned roommate says, sitting on the bed by the window. “You’re nowhere near a virgin.”

Jisung makes a face at him. “Fuck you, Hyunjoon.”

“No thanks.” Hyunjoon shrugs, picking up the book he’d been reading.

Changbin knows that Coach Park is probably 99% ulterior motives, so he wonders what the coach must’ve been thinking he assigned Changbin to room with Chan.

_Not that I have any problems with Chan. _Changbin thinks defensively, leaning his backpack against the base of the bed. The entire bedframe is metal, and it’s been newly repainted a weird brown color. He still thinks that Jisung’s being ridiculous, but the hostel _is _weird. The way the rooms are arranged along the hall is weird, but familiar, and that only makes it weirder.

He can hear some of his teammates talking agitatedly outside the door. He can make out the words “ghosts” and “demons” but he figures they’ve just found somewhere to vent their excitement over training camp.

He knows he should be excited, too, since this is his last training camp with the team, but for some reason, he isn’t. He pulls his phone out of his pocket to check for messages, but there’s no reception.

_Otherwise Mom would’ve been able to call me nonstop to ask where the hell I am. _Changbin almost grins.

The door to the room opens, letting in all the noise from the hallway for just a moment. Chan shuts the door behind him quickly. “The other guys are going nuts.”

“It’s Jisung’s fault.” Changbin says. “He’s trying to convince everyone the hostel’s haunted.”

“I figured as much.” Chan laughs, dumping his bag on the bed. He notices Changbin holding his phone and asks, “You getting any reception?”

“Nope.”

“Crap.” Chan pulls out his own phone. “Younghoon’s gonna think I left him on seen.”

“No he won’t.” Changbin says. “He knows you’re at training camp, right?”

“Well, yeah, but…” Chan makes a face. “Yeah, you’re right.”

The door to the room slams open. “Cap!”

Changbin and Chan perk up. “Yeah?” They ask at once.

Changbin frowns at Chan, who blushes deeply.

“Which one of us do you need?” Changbin asks irritably.

Felix, who’s standing in the doorway, grimaces. “Both of you, I guess.”

“Why? What’s up?” Chan asks.

“Jisung wants you to see something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When will they play baseball again? Who knows???


	10. @ whoever’s up there, this isn’t fair. – Lee Felix

“Is this not the _weirdest fucking shit you’ve ever seen_?” Jisung asks, grabbing both Changbin and Chan by their arms. He drags them down the hallway, where the rest of the team seem to have crowded like ants around a crumb.

The walls on either side are a recently-painted off-white color that doesn’t look quite right with the gray tiles on the floor or the green-tinted windows, but Changbin figures it’s not his place to judge a hostel in the middle of the woods for its interior design. _Besides, there are worse things going on here. _

The hallway doesn’t quite end after Chan and Changbin’s room, but instead, someone’s nailed a huge patchwork of plywood to block anyone from going any further down the hallway. There are chinks in the plywood, and an unsightly gap between the plywood mosaic and the walls, which the other Weevils are trying to peek through.

Changbin scowls and shakes Jisung’s hand off his arm. “Coach Wang said we only rented half the building. This must be where it’s halved.”

Chan makes a face, nodding in agreement. “It’s not very pretty, but I guess it gets the job done?”

Jisung tugs at his hair. “But it’s so _weird_!”

“It _is_ pretty weird.” Felix agrees, standing a little way behind Chan and Changbin, like he’s ready to run if anything suddenly bursts through the plywood.

Changbin turns and almost laughs at how big Felix’s eyes are. “It just looks like a regular, sloppy construction job. Nothing to be worried about.”

Youngjae, who had been peeking through the gap between the plywood and the wall screams suddenly, setting the rest of them off screaming.

“Guys!” Chan tries to call out, but he’s drowned out by their teammates’ frantic screaming and scrambling away from the plywood wall. “Calm down, guys!”

Changbin clears his throat and shouts, “GUYS!”

The Weevils jump to attention and press themselves against the wall in complete silence, for some reason.

“Everyone calm the fuck down!” Changbin says. “There’s nothing to see here.”

“But I saw someone there!” Youngjae insists. The boys around him start whispering anxiously at each other.

“It’s probably just the staff.” Changbin sighs. His teammates look skeptical, but he figures his expression must be so fed up that no one would dare argue.

“This place is really nice and quiet and peaceful and stuff,” Chan says. “So let’s keep it that way, like good guests.”

Changbin watches his teammates’ face ease up, and he starts to feel a little funny in his stomach. He knows exactly why he’d prefer anyone else as a roommate – even Jisung – over Chan.

“So, welcome to this year’s training camp,” Coach Wang says, looking over the team with just the smallest hint of disappointment behind his sunglasses. “We’ll start off with a quick hike before lunch.”

“_Before_ lunch?” Chan frowns.

“Yes, _before_ lunch.” Coach Wang’s smile draws thin, like his patience. “There’s a short hiking trail down the road and it goes in a loop, so we don’t need to worry about anyone getting lost.”

“You underestimate the boys, Coach Wang.” Coach Park says, with a wide yawn. He takes his cap off and fans himself. “Everyone, pick a hiking buddy and stick to him like your life depends on it, because it kinda does.”

Felix glances over at Changbin, whose hands are stuffed in his pockets as he scans the crowd. Their eyes meet, and Changbin raises his eyebrows. Felix opens his mouth to say something when he feels someone tug at his hoodie.

Felix turns to find his new throw-and-catch partner holding the edge of his hoodie between two little fingers. “Hey Dongpyo, what’s up?”

“Um, do you have a partner yet, Mr. Felix, sir?” Dongpyo mumbles.

Felix can’t help but look over at Changbin, who’s still looking his way with that curious look. He closes his eyes. _Lord, why do you test me? _

_Hold on, I’m an atheist._

Felix takes a long, deep breath before saying, “You wanna be buddies, Dongpyo?”

“Yes!” Dongpyo nods so hard that Felix is afraid his head’s gonna pop off.

Felix puts a hand gingerly on his shoulder. “Okay, okay, let’s take care of our necks, dude, you only get one of those.”

He looks at Changbin’s direction again to find Jisung hugging Changbin with both arms and a leg. Changbin’s grumbling, but he’s not getting rid of Jisung.

Felix sighs and looks up at the cloudy sky. _@ whoever’s up there, this isn’t fair. _

They’ve been walking up the trail for all of five minutes when Dongpyo suddenly vanishes from Felix’s line of sight.

“Dongpyo!” Felix looks down to find the freshman lying on the dirt path, clutching his left leg. “What’s wrong?”

“Cramp.” Dongpyo winces.

Felix squats next to him and starts massaging the boy’s leg, which feels like it’s made of rock. _Which is bad. I think_.

“What happened?” Coach Park catches up to them, flanked on either side by Changbin and Jisung.

“Dongpyo got a cramp, Coach.” Felix says, still helping the freshman massage his rock-hard leg.

Coach Park frowns and looks up ahead. The rest of the team are so far ahead of them that he can’t see Coach Wang anymore. “Let’s take him back to the hostel.”

“N- No, it’s okay, Coach.” Dongpyo says, but his face is so screwed-up in pain that he can hardly open his eyes. “I can just go back by myself.”

“Absolutely not.” Coach Park says, kneeling down to slide his arms under Dongpyo and pick him up. “Can you guys run ahead and tell Coach Wang that I’m bringing Dongpyo back to the hostel?”

“B- But-” Dongpyo says, his face going bubblegum pink from embarrassment.

“Yes, Coach.” Changbin says. He looks at Jisung and Felix. “You guys go ahead, I’ll sweep.”

“Thanks, Cap.” Coach Park says, looking at Changbin fondly before turning to carry Dongpyo back down the trail.

Felix watches them go. “Is Dongpyo gonna be okay?”

“Don’t worry,” Changbin says, holding Felix by the shoulders to steer him back on track. “He’ll probably be fine even before they get there.”

“No one’s ever died from cramps.” Jisung agrees, almost stumbling over a tree root. He frowns thoughtfully. “Unless they were swimming.”

Changbin groans. “Jisung, more walking, less talking.”

Jisung salutes him and starts running down the trail.

“Wait-” Changbin sighs as Jisung vanishes over a bump in the trail. “I didn’t mean… Whatever, come on, Felix.”

“Yes, Cap.” Felix says brightly, following a respectful meter-distance behind Changbin.

“Do you have a watch, Felix?”

“Yeah, why?”

Changbin looks up at the darkened sky. “What time is it?”

“Uh…” Felix squints at his watch. “Half past 12.”

Changbin stops and whirls around. “_What_?”

Felix turns the screen of his Apple watch towards Changbin. “Yeah. Half past 12.”

“You mean we’ve been walking for an hour and a half,” Changbin says slowly. “And we haven’t caught up to them yet?”

“Oh.” Felix’s heart starts beating really fast – well, faster than it already had been, with the hiking and being alone with Changbin and everything. “Oh god.”

“Oh god.” Changbin echoes, squinting up and down the path. “D- Didn’t Coach Wang say this trail went in a loop?”

“Yeah, he did.” Felix says. “Maybe if we keep going we’ll find the road again-”

“No, I d- don’t think we’re on the s- same trail anymore.” Changbin says, turning to look down the path they’d just come from. Sure enough, the ground’s much rockier under them than it had been earlier. He’s flexing his fingers nervously, and his hands are trembling.

Felix looks down at Changbin’s hands, fighting every urge to hold them. “Maybe we took a wrong turn somewhere?”

“Y- Yeah.” Changbin says. He seems to notice Felix looking at his hands, so he stuffs them into his pockets. “Let’s go back.”

Felix feels his ears burning, “Okay.”

Coach Wang stops, holding up a hand to stop the entire line. The boys behind him hadn’t been walking very quickly anyway. They’d been walking for over an hour, and the boys, despite being athletes on top of being teenagers, were dragging their feet in the dirt at this point.

“I think it’s time to take a break for lunch.” Coach Wang says.

“But Coach-” Jisung protests.

“We _will_ find them.” Coach Wang says firmly. “But we need energy to do that.”

Hyunjoon squints and points down the path. “Is that them?”

Coach Wang spins around.

Chan comes jogging down the path, followed by Hyunjin, who looks close to dropping on all fours. Coach Wang lifts his eyebrows, opening his mouth to ask, but Chan shakes his head.

“We came all the way around, Coach, we didn’t see them.” Chan says, shoulders slumped dejectedly.

“And there aren’t any other paths leading off this one.” Hyunjin pants, gasping for air.

“Crap.” Coach Wang mutters under his breath. He looks over the limp, half-dead boys leaning against the nearest trees and rocks they can find. “Okay, everyone, listen up. We’ll go back to the hostel and have lunch first, then we can set out to look for them again.”

Hyunjin’s still bent over, hands on his knees, as he pants out, “Shouldn’t we call the police?”

“You need to wait 24 hours for that, right?” Jisung frowns.

“Forty-eight, actually.” Coach Wang says. “But it’s worth a shot. Come on, everyone.”

The first few raindrops on Changbin’s head are refreshing, like an ice pack after all this walking. Then the rain decides to pour like a bucket tipped over their heads, and Felix lets out this tiny whimper like an injured woodland creature.

Changbin shields his eyes with one hand as he tries to look up the path, but it’s no use. The rain is falling in white sheets, obscuring the path ahead of and behind them. He turns to Felix, who’s pulled his hood over his head, but his hoodie’s made of cotton and it’s soaked through.

“Let’s stop here first.” Changbin says.

Felix frowns at him, but doesn’t protest.

Changbin doesn’t know anything about trees, but he finds one that’s got enough branches to block the rain out. He brushes some of the fallen leaves into a squishy pile and sits on them.

He looks up to find Felix just standing out in the rain, water dripping down his disgruntled face.

“Come on.” Changbin pats the damp leaves next to him.

Felix walks all the way around to the other side of the tree and sits there, hugging his knees.

Changbin shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath. _Felix has every right to be mad at me. All I had to do was bring him back to the rest of the team, and I couldn’t even do that._

Changbin hears something just softer the rain splattering around him. He crawls along the side of the tree and finds Felix with his face tucked into his knees, shoulders shaking quietly.

“Hey, Felix?” Changbin says softly. He’s not sure if Felix can hear him over the rain, but he doesn’t really care at this point. He’s not about to _shout_ at the guy. “I’m sorry I got us lost.”

Felix doesn’t look up, but he shakes his head, mumbling something.

“What?” Changbin frowns. “I mean, sorry, what was that?”

Felix mumbles louder, but Changbin still can’t make it out.

“Sorry, Felix-”

“It’s not your fault.” Felix says, rubbing his eyes on his wet hoodie sleeves before realizing it’s useless. “And I’m sorry for crying, I know it’s not helping.”

“It’s not like you can control it.” Changbin says.

Felix’s chin trembles, and he starts crying again.

“N- No, I’m s-sorry,” Changbin says, holding his hands out awkwardly, not knowing whether he should hold Felix, or where. “I d- didn’t mean it like that-”

“It’s not your faaaault!” Felix bawls. “My Papa calls me a leaky faucet!”

Changbin bites down hard to stop himself from laughing at the mental image. “Th- There’s nothing wrong with crying sometimes!” He insists.

“I’m a looooser!” Felix wails, rubbing his eyes furiously.

“Stop that, you’re going to get an eye infection.” Changbin says, holding Felix’s wrists away from his face.

“Sorry.” Felix mumbles, looking down at the dirt between them to avoid Changbin’s gaze.

“_I’m _sorry.” Changbin says, dropping Felix’s wrists self-consciously. “I suck at this.”

“It’s not your fault you always see me like this.” Felix looks up at Changbin, mouth curled in an embarrassed half-smile. “And that I’m always like this.”

“You’re not a loser, Felix.” Changbin says.

Felix laughs. “Tell that to my classmates.”

“They’re assholes, Felix. They think everyone besides them is a loser.” Changbin says, hoping he doesn’t sound too gruff. He looks at the rain as he adds in a low mumble, “I think you’re pretty cool.”

Suddenly the rain’s not as loud as Changbin wants it to be. _How is that helping anything, Changbin? What’s that supposed to do?_

“But I’m kind of a loser, too, so I don’t know how much you can trust me on that.” Changbin adds before Felix can say anything. He scrambles back to his side of the tree and sits down to watch the rain intently.

What feel like a few minutes pass in relative silence, before Changbin hears a quiet, “Thanks, Cap.”

“I didn’t really do anything.” Changbin sighs. “But-”

Changbin’s cut off by the distinct squelch of boots in mud. He sits up, hearing Felix rustle on the leaves behind him. _So he heard it, too. _

A pair of figures come down the trail towards them. Changbin gets to his feet, standing in front of Felix. “Hello?”

The figures keep coming closer.

“Coach Park?” Changbin calls out, extending an arm to shield Felix, though he doesn’t know what good he thinks it’d do. “Is that you?”

The two figures stop just a few steps away from them. The hoods of their raincoats are pulled over their faces, but Changbin guesses they’re a young man and a woman.

“I _told_ you I saw a bunch of kids here.” The woman says, smacking the man on the arm. She gives Changbin a sympathetic smile. “Are you kids lost?”

Changbin feels Felix grab the back of his shirt anxiously. He reaches back to pat Felix’s hand gently as he replies to the woman, “No, we were just out hiking when we got caught in the rain.”

“They must be with that group staying up at the hospital.” The man whispers to the woman.

_Hospital? _Changbin figures he must have misheard him, and they were just talking about the hostel.

“Ah, the baseball team!” The woman snaps her fingers. Then she frowns. “You’re pretty far from the hospital. Does your coach know you’re here?”

_I didn’t mishear anything. They keep saying hospital. _He reaches back and holds Felix’s clammy hand. “Yeah, we were just heading back and-”

“What hospital?” Felix asks.

“The hospital by the road.” The man says matter-of-factly. “With the green windows?”

Felix’s fingers squeeze Changbin’s to a pulp.

“Honey, it’s not a hospital anymore.” The woman nudges the man. “Remember?”

“Oh. Right.” The man laughs. “We’re just so used to calling it the hospital, sorry.”

“Y- You mean that building…” Felix says slowly, still crushing Changbin’s hand with his own. “…It used to be a _hospital_?”

“Yeah.”

Felix gives Changbin’s hand one last, circulation-cutting squeeze. “Cap-”

“Which way is it?” Changbin asks. He points up and down the path. “This way or this way?”

“We could take you there.” The woman says.

“No thanks, we’re fine.” Changbin insists. “We just need someone to point us on our way and we can do it on our own-”

“No, no, it’s fine. We’re not in any rush.” The man says. “Are we, honey?”

“No, we’re not.” The woman says.

Changbin knows he can’t go around trusting random couples in random mountains, but with Felix gripping his hand like a tourniquet and the rain pouring in white sheets around them, he knows he doesn’t have much of a choice. “On second thought, thanks.”

The woman smiles. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Kids are getting lost around here all the time.” The man says.

“Wonder why.”

Coach Jackson Wang has been coaching baseball teams for almost seven years now. He’s been to at least fifteen training camps in that time, in places much worse than this one, but he’s never lost a single kid. Not a single one. Then, all of a sudden, in the tamest, most pleasant hiking trail he’s ever seen, he loses two kids at once – the captain of the whole fucking team included.

_If Seo Changbin is not dead, _Jackson thinks, trying to take calm breaths. _I am going to kill him._

He _knows_ he shouldn’t have accepted this job, no matter how nice it looked on his resume that he coached poor kids in Korea for free.

He sighs, tired of listening to the local police spew excuses over the phone. Jackson slams the phone down on the receiver. He’s had enough.

He looks at the empty seat behind the reception desk. _The management of the hostel are unprofessional as fuck, on top of everything._

He steps back into the cafeteria, where the other boys have left their lunch mostly untouched. They hadn’t had the stomach to eat knowing that two of them were somewhere out there in the rain. Jackson sighs. _At least now I know we don’t need any of those teambuilding exercises._

“Okay, Sunwoo, Chan, and Hyunjoon, stay together.” Coach Park says, standing at the center of the cafeteria. “Youngjae, Jisung, and Hyunjin- No, Hyunjin, you don’t get a choice, someone’s got to shield Youngjae from Jisung.”

Jackson walks up to him, frowning. “What are you doing?”

“Dividing them into search parties.” Jinyoung says calmly. He frowns. “On second thought, Juyeon and Youngjae switch.”

“We’re already losing two kids because they got separated from the group.” Jackson says. “Why would we divide them _more_?”

“To cover more ground.”

Jackson closes his eyes and uses every muscle in his body to stop himself from saying something like, ‘That’s the dumbest thing I ever heard.’

His muscles aren’t able to stop him from saying, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“How _else_ are we going to find them?” Jinyoung fixes Jackson with the sort of stare wild dogs give each other when they’re looking for a fight. _Except bitchier. _

“I think that the boys should stay here with the staff-”

“_What_ staff?” Jinyoung scoffs. “I haven’t seen a single-”

Jackson feels the blood rushing to his head. If he’d been any younger, he’d have throttled Jinyoung by now. “Where do you think our lunch came from? It just _appeared_ here?”

“I was kidding.” Jinyoung says. “Actually, not really. Anyway, I think we should split up and look for Changbin and Felix-”

“I think we shouldn’t send the boys out searching in this weather.” Jackson says. “And that’s final.”

Jackson hates having to flex his head coach status like that, but he doesn’t care anymore at this point.

“I don’t know about you,” Jinyoung says. “But the rest of us care about finding them. So we’re going out to look for them. And _that_’s final.”

“Coach Park,” Chan says anxiously, looking from one coach to the other. “Let’s not fight.”

“He’s right.” Jackson looks at the kid, sighing. He will never for the life of him understand why this reasonable, responsible kid isn’t the captain and the one somewhere in the mountains _is_. “Let’s not-”

“COACH!” Dongpyo comes scrambling into the cafeteria. “THEY’RE HERE!”

Jackson’s barely able to take a breath before the entire team floods out into the lobby, jumping over tables and chairs and each other.

He follows after them.

Jackson frowns as he sees two figures trudge into the lobby, dripping and trailing mud. He vaguely sees two other, taller figures just outside the building, but they seem to walk away before he can even get to the door.

Jisung sprints over to Changbin and Felix, wrapping his arms around them. “Oh my god I thought you guys were _dead_.”

“Shut up, Jisung.” Hyunjin flicks Jisung away so he can have his turn to hug Changbin and Felix, who look too shell-shocked to complain.

“What happened to you guys?” Chan nudges past Jackson – accidentally, of course – to hug them all.

“We got lost.” Changbin says, and he seems so calm about it that Jackson’s blood starts boiling again.

He makes his way through the Weevils, who’ve clumped together in a big, sweaty group hug around Felix and Changbin.

“Excuse me. Boys, make space.”

The crowd parts like a smelly Red Sea for Jackson, who sizes up the two boys. They seem soaked to bone, but otherwise unharmed. Felix even has the audacity to smile at him.

Jackson narrows his eyes. “Stop smiling. Do you even realize how much you’ve trouble you’ve caused everyone here?”

Felix lowers his head in shame, but Changbin steps forward, glaring up at Jackson. “We didn’t do it on purpose-”

“I seriously hope not.” Jackson sets his jaw. He knows that one teenage kid shouldn’t get on his nerves _this_ much, but something about Changbin is really pushing him past every limit he has. “Captain, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Can’t they shower first?” Jinyoung’s voice comes from behind him. “And change into dry clothes?”

Jackson tries to ignore the murmurs of agreement among the boys – _they ought to really change their mascot, they’re not so much Weevils as they are Park Jinyoung’s Sheep._

“Fine.” Jackson says, knowing exactly how bad he sounds to the other boys. “Go shower and change. I’ll talk to you later.”

Changbin shoots Jackson one last, taunting glare before following Felix up the stairs.

“I think it was demons.” Jisung says confidently.

“I actually don’t disagree this time.” Hyunjin agrees, nursing his cup of hot chocolate. He’s glad Jisung had had the sense to bring instant hot chocolate, even if he _was_ selling each packet at 1.5 times their actual price. _The demand outweighs the supply, _Hyunjin thinks. _Or something like that. Whatever. I’m failing Economics. _

“What if,” Hyunjoon asks, flipping the page on the book he’s reading. “It wasn’t them that came back?”

“What the fuck do you mean?”

“What if they’re just doppelgangers? Or face-stealers?” Hyunjoon looks away from his book now, to grin at his teammates’ ashen faces. “What if the real Changbin and Felix are still out there?”

“What are you all doing?” Hyunjin’s brother asks, appearing suddenly behind Hyunjoon. Hyunjoon yells and throws his book in the air, and all the other boys start screaming. Hyunjin holds his hot chocolate a safe distance from his teammates – they can destroy anything _but_ his hot chocolate.

“N- Nothing, Coach.” Hyunjoon stammers out quickly.

“We were just discussing what the fuck happened to Changbin and Felix, Coach.” Jisung says, grinning at Jinyoung with the overconfidence of someone who believes that they can really be friends with adults in authority. _Cute, _Hyunjin thinks. _But delusional as hell._

“And?” Jinyoung crosses his arms. Hyunjin knows _he’s_ never found Jisung cute, and he’s not about to start anytime soon. “Are they here now? Did they say anything to you about what happened to them?”

“Well… no.”

“Then stop discussing things you don’t know shit about, it makes you look like idiots.” Jinyoung says sharply, looking over all the boys. “Go get the equipment upstairs, we’re going to start drills.”

“But it’s still raining.” Sunwoo points out the window. The rain hasn’t stopped, and the road outside is close to being recognized as a new river.

“You’ve played games in the rain, so why can’t you train in the rain?” Jinyoung frowns. When no one, not even Jisung, can come up with an answer to that, he adds, “Go on, get the equipment.”

“Yes, Coach.” Chan says, and the minute he gets up, all the other boys follow.

Hyunjin lifts an eyebrow at his brother. “Does Coach Wang know about this?”

“Coach Wang’s preoccupied.” Jinyoung replies, and just the shadow of a smile crosses his lips. Then he puts on his stern face again. “Come on, boys, we’re burning daylight here.”

“_What_ daylight?” Jisung grumbles, before skittering out of Jinyoung’s reach.

Jinyoung sighs and turns to Hyunjin. “Jisung’s really-”

“-Scared out of his mind.” Hyunjin finishes the sentence for him. “He really thinks this place is haunted.”

“Maybe it is.” Jinyoung shrugs. “Doesn’t change anything. Our apartment’s haunted, but you don’t see _me_ making a big deal out of it.”

Hyunjin stops in midstep, frowning. “Wait, _what_?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levanter has utterly destroyed me, but in a good way. Stream Levanter for maturity and peace of mind and heart in 2020... char


	11. “…Oof.” – Lee Felix

Felix is waiting in the hallway when Changbin comes out of his room. Changbin frowns. “Were you waiting for me?”

“Are you going to see Coach Wang now?”

“Yes.”

“I’m coming with you.”

“No, he just wanted to talk to _me_.” Changbin brushes his damp hair out of his face. “And you know he’s not going to really talk to me, he’s just going to get mad at me.”

“Yeah, and you don’t deserve it.” Felix crosses his arms, stepping into Changbin’s way. “So I’m coming with.”

“Why? Because _you_ deserve it?” Changbin looks up at Felix, mildly amused. _Does he really think he can stop me? _

“No, I just- I think you need backup.”

Felix is the last person Changbin would ask to back him up in a fight, but Felix’s little face is so tightly scrunched up in determination that Changbin doesn’t have the heart to say so.

Felix seems to take that to be a good sign. He beams at Changbin. “I got your back, Cap.”

“Thanks, Felix, I know you do.” Changbin rests his hands up on Felix’s shoulders. Then he gently lifts Felix up and places him off to one side of the hallway. “But I’m fine.”

Felix is frozen to the spot with a stunned frown on his face.

“Cap!” Felix calls after him when his senses return, but Changbin’s already started down the stairs by then.

Jisung sneezes so violently it sends him barreling into Hyunjin. “Sorry.”

“Watch where you’re going, dude.” Hyunjin says, trying to maneuver through the rain with his eyes shut.

Jisung makes a face at Hyunjin that he doesn’t see. “What the fuck are you doing, Hyunjin?”

“I don’t have goggles.” Hyunjin replies with a shrug, taking a few wary steps forward, eyes still screwed shut.

Jisung’s about to tell Hyunjin how fucking dumb he’s being when he notices something moving across the field. Well, something other than their teammates. They’re supposed to be running back and forth between two markers in the empty field behind the hostel, but it’s all ended up a big squelchy mess. Coach Park has been laughing so hard that he’s lying on the muddy lawn, clutching his stomach.

Jisung shades his eyes with one hand as he watches Coach Wang step out of the building’s back steps looking more upset than usual. Jisung nudges Hyunjin. “Coach Wang’s here.”

“Are Changbin and Felix with him?”

“Open your damn eyes and look, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin opens his eyes slowly, then yelps as the rain drops into his eyes. “Owww owww…”

Jisung ignores him and starts cutting sideways through his teammates’ lanes to listen in to the coaches’ conversation.

“Hey!”

“What the hell, Jisung!”

“Stay in your own lane!”

Jisung ignores them and nudges Hyunjoon out of the way – earning a “Fuck you, man!” from his roommate – so he can run in the lane next to the coaches.

“They’re _what_?” Coach Park scowls like he hadn’t been laughing his ass off just a minute ago.

“They’re not joining the drills this afternoon.” Coach Wang says.

“Why _not_?” Coach Park asks.

“Because I think they shouldn’t-”

“They’re a part of this team, they should-” Coach Park notices Jisung slowing down to a jog every time he passes the coaches, and sighs as he reaches out and grabs Jisung by the sleeve. “Ten more laps, eavesdropper.”

“Sorry, Coach.” Jisung ducks into a bow, then runs off to report to Chan and Hyunjin.

“Jisung!” Coach Park attempts to call after him. “Han Jisung! Fuck’s sake.”

_A few moments earlier_

“You wanted to talk to me, Coach?”

Jackson looks up from the newspaper. He’s read the whole thing thrice already, but he’ll be damned if he has to sit around doing nothing while waiting for this kid to waste even more of his time. Jackson gestures at the seat across him. “Sit down.”

Changbin pulls the seat back without lifting it, and the scraping noise echoes in the empty cafeteria.

It’s the things like that – the inconsiderate little things like that that _really_ get to Jackson.

“I’m not going to waste either of our time.” Jackson says, folding up the newspaper. “I’m not going to ask where you were, or what you were doing.”

Changbin frowns and gives Jackson that look again, that annoying, Ready-To-Pick-A-Fight look Jackson hates.

“You know what you did.” Jackson finishes, pressing the newspaper down flat against the table.

“We got lost.”

“You had less than ten minutes’ worth of trail to follow back to the road, which leads straight here.” Jackson frowns. “Coach Park tells me you’re on the honor roll, so I doubt a path like that poses any kind of challenge for you.”

“I don’t know what happened-”

“Neither do I.” Jackson says. “But I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt, even if I know for sure that there were no forks in the path and nowhere else you could’ve possibly-”

Changbin sets his jaw. “Doesn’t sound like you’re giving me anything.”

“Could you _try_ not to be so rude?” Jackson resists the urge to smack the table, or worse, Changbin. “You’re the one who messed up, you don’t get to talk back to me like that-”

“I didn’t do anything wrong!”

“I am the coach here,” Jackson says, raising his voice though he’d really planned not to. “Give me the respect I deserve.”

“I _do_ only give people the respect they deserve.” Changbin says, raising _his_ voice. “So guess where you fall under-”

“_Seo Changbin_!” Jackson slaps the table. He hears someone jump behind him, and turns to find part of a sneaker peeking out over the doorway.

Jackson watches the sneaker try to slide surreptitiously out of sight. “Stop hiding. I know you’re there.”

Felix takes one gentle step through the doorway, head lowered. “Sorry, Coach.”

Changbin sighs. “Felix, I told you I didn’t need-”

“Whatever, he’s here anyway. Sit down, Felix.” Jackson says, gesturing to the seat next to Changbin’s.

Felix walks over slowly, carefully, like he’s afraid the tiles will cave under him, and he lifts the chair the same way as he pulls it back.

“Please don’t be mad at Cap.” Felix mumbles, still avoiding looking directly at Jackson. “We really got lost.”

Jackson sighs. “I’m not mad at him because you got lost. I’m frustrated because I don’t know _how_ you managed to get _so_ lost with such a simple path, but I’m mad at Changbin because he has consistently been rude, irresponsible, and altogether _not_ the kind of person who should be captain of the team when there are _others_ who would do it much better than him.”

Jackson’s surprised to find that Changbin says nothing in reply, and just grinds his teeth as he tips his chair back testily.

It’s Felix who straightens up indignantly in his seat and says, “That’s not true, Coach.”

“Felix.” Changbin mutters through gritted teeth. “Just let him say whatever he wants.”

_That sounds more like Changbin. _

“Okay, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. Again.” Jackson puts his hands up in defeat. “Maybe you don’t act this way around anyone else. So why is it that every time I’m around, you seem to be at your worst?”

“Coach Wang, that’s not fair to him.” Felix says, ignoring the tense look Changbin gives him.

“Fine. Fine.” Jackson crosses his arms. “Do I need to apologize? I’m sorry, then, Changbin. But you have to understand that I am giving up a _lot_ to be here. The least you all could do is give me a little respect. And you of all people, you’re the _captain_-”

“If you don’t want to be here, you don’t have to be.” Changbin says. “We were fine already.”

Felix nudges Changbin’s sneaker with his own, but he doesn’t say anything in Jackson’s defense.

_Because we all know it’s true._

“I know you’re all used to Coach Park, and you guys seem to like him a lot,” Jackson says. “But I didn’t know you guys already had him as… some kind of coach. All they told me was that your previous official coach left. A good friend of mine was asking me for a favor and I just wanted to help you guys out. So the least you can do is be on my side, right?”

Changbin and Felix exchange looks, but Changbin scowls and goes back to looking at the dirt on his sneakers.

Jackson knows when he’s talking to a wall.

“Look, I don’t think we’re even remotely done with this conversation, but it sounds like Coach Park is doing something dumb outside and I have to stop it.” Jackson says, standing up. “So I’m just going to have to put my foot down. The two of you are excused from this afternoon’s training.”

Changbin glares up at Jackson. Looks like that would get someone’s teeth knocked in back in Jackson’s time, but things must be much different now.

“You can’t punish us for doing nothing wrong-” Changbin starts.

“_Punish _you? I’m giving you the afternoon off to _rest_-”

“You didn’t ask us if we wanted-”

They’re cut off by a small old woman who’s just stepped out of the kitchen with a plastic basket in her arms. She starts collecting the plates near them, smiling in Changbin’s direction. “Young man, that’s no way to talk to your elders.”

Changbin scowls so hard at the old woman that Jackson almost snorts.

“Sorry, but I overheard everything.” The old woman grins at Jackson as she hands Changbin the plastic basket with a few plates in it. “Don’t worry about the boys, Coach, I’ll keep them busy for the afternoon.”

“W- Wait-” Changbin looks back at Jackson with a frown.

“I thought you said we weren’t being punished.” Felix says.

“It’s work, boys, not punishment.” The old woman says. “Aren’t I right, Coach?”

Jackson beams at her. “Yes, ma’am.”

The hostel’s kitchen is cramped enough that when Felix turns around, one or both of his shoulders hit an appliance, and when he tries to evade the appliances, his ass knocks into the nearest edge of the stainless-steel countertop. He nearly drops the newly-washed pot in his hands, but he manages to catch it and stuff it into the shelf without hurting himself further.

“Are you all right, dear?”

“Yes, thank you, ma’am.” Felix gives the old woman in the corner a smile. He hadn’t expected the hostel’s only staff member on duty to be a frail-looking octogenarian, but she is, and it’s making Felix _want_ to do all the housekeeping if only out of pure guilt.

Changbin squeezes into the kitchen carrying a tray of dirty dishes. He knocks into the corner of the refrigerator, which sends him stumbling sideways into the oven. Changbin looks like he’s about to curse, so Felix gives him a pointed look before jerking one eyebrow in the old lady’s direction.

“Fu- I mean, e- excuse me.” Changbin ends up murmuring meekly as he sets the dishes down by the sink.

The old woman rests one bony, wrinkly hand on Changbin’s arm. “Leave the dishes to me, dear.”

Changbin frowns at her. “B- But you s- said-”

“Silly boy,” The old woman pats Changbin on the cheek. “I just said all that because I didn’t want you to get into a fight with your teacher.”

“What?”

“You boys can go up to your rooms, I’ll take care of the rest.”

“We’ll do the dishes, ma’am!” Felix says, snatching the rubber gloves by the sink before she can. _Not that it’s a huge achievement beating someone’s grandma, _he thinks.

“You don’t have to,” The old woman chuckles.

“No, no it’s really okay!” Felix’s already got one glove on. “Right, Changbin?”

Changbin stares at Felix for a long and painful time. “Yeah.”

“Well, if you insist…” The old woman purses her lips, her eyes twinkling in amusement. “I’ll just take care of something upstairs. The dishes better be spotless when I get back.”

Felix salutes her. “Yes, ma’am!”

It’s only when the door swings shut after the old woman that Changbin turns to Felix, blinking slowly.

“Jesus, Felix…” Changbin grumbles, and he sounds _pretty_ pissed off.

Felix lowers his head. “Sorry, I just couldn’t let the old lady do everything by herself.”

“That’s the management’s problem not ours.” Changbin says, but he’s already stacking the plates into the sink.

“Sorry.” Felix mumbles. “It’s my fault, you don’t have to-”

“Let’s just get this over with.”

Felix nods, hoping he doesn’t look too excited to wash fucking plates. His papa would invite Changbin over for dinner every damn night if that’s all it takes to get Felix _pumped_ to scrub the dishes.

Felix laughs at the idea, earning an irritated look from Changbin.

Felix quickly straightens his face into a somber pout as he picks up the first plate. “Sorry.”

Changbin just shrugs as he reaches for another plate. The sink, like the rest of the kitchen, seems to be designed for a ridiculously skinny person, so they end up having to squeeze up next to each other to share it.

“Sorry dude.” Changbin says when he accidentally nudges Felix in the waist.

Felix’s entire face grows warm. “It’s okay.”

He turns the faucet knob to start rinsing the plates, but the water gushes out violently onto the plate in Changbin’s hands, giving him an unintentional shower.

“Oh crap I-” Felix makes the mistake of looking Changbin’s way. _Changbin’s t-shirt had been white. And now it’s wet._ _And now my brain is no longer functional._

“…Oof.” Is all Felix manages to say in this dumb state.

“It’s okay.” Changbin says, pulling his shirt up to wring the bottom out into the sink, but it’s a losing battle. Felix can’t stop staring, but Changbin doesn’t seem to notice. He even laughs. “I’m gonna run out of dry clothes on the first day at this rate.”

He keeps laughing, and Felix lets out a nervous gurgle. _It’s going to be a long afternoon._

Changbin gives Felix the hardest look he can when the old woman returns, but Felix doesn’t seem to notice him. _Please don’t fucking _volunteer_ us again-_

“Of course! No problem, ma’am!” Felix is so eager that his voice cracks.

Changbin can only sigh and hold his arms out while the old woman hands him two mops and a bucket.

The old woman, eyes crinkled in delight, pinches Felix on the cheek. “Your mother must be so happy to have a son like you.”

Changbin notices Felix flinch when she says that. The old woman seems to, too, and steps back with an apologetic look.

“I’ll be in the kitchen making dinner if you boys need anything.” She says, before disappearing through the cafeteria doors.

Felix takes one of the mops and starts working on the mud-streaked floor of the lobby.

“You know you can correct people when they say shit like that.” Changbin says.

“I know.” Felix is dragging the mop uselessly over a dried-up patch of dirt on the tiles, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration.

Changbin can’t stand around and watch this for much longer. He sighs and pours some water onto the dirt. “You need to wet it again so it comes off easier.”

“Sorry. I didn’t know that.” Felix steps back and frowns while Changbin mops the dirt away. “I don’t really do much at home.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” Changbin says, wringing the mop out into the bucket. “It’s a good thing your parents don’t make you do everything. It means they care about you enough to do it for you.”

“Changbin?”

Changbin shuts his eyes. The concern in Felix’s voice irritates him, because it means he’s said too much. Changbin doesn’t look up as he grumbles, “What?”

“Your parents are really lucky to have a son like you.”

Changbin bites down on his lips to keep himself from smiling. “Thanks, Felix.”

Jisung ducks down into a slide for the home plate. Hyunjin’s holding his breath, because the ball’s flying in from third and it looks like it’ll make it to Sunwoo before Jisung can even touch the home plate with the tip of his shoe, but somehow Jisung makes it.

Hyunjin and the rest of the boys on the bench jump and start cheering.

“Oh crap oh crap oh crap…” Jisung slides over the home plate and just keeps sliding until he disappears into a shrub at the edge of the clearing.

Jinyoung blows his whistle. “Good game, boys! Hyunjin, can you go get Jisung?”

“Yes, hyung!” Hyunjin salutes him before making his way to the shrubbery Jisung had vanished into. The ground is so wet and muddy that Hyunjin’s sliding his legs and holding his arms out like he’s ice skating.

“Boys, hose yourselves down before you go back into the building,” Coach Wang blocks the door back into the hostel, herding the boys to the side of the building like they’re cattle. “Your captain just finished mopping the floor. Don’t waste his hard work.”

Jinyoung narrows his eyes at him. “Changbin did _what_?”

Hyunjin starts squawking from near the bushes before Coach Wang can reply. “I think he’s dead, hyung!”

“What?” Coach Wang looks mildly concerned.

“JUST POKE HIM!” Jinyoung shouts at his brother before turning back to Coach Wang. “You made Changbin _mop the floor_?”

“I thought it would do him good-”

“We are paying this hostel way too much _precisely_ so that none of us have to mop the goddamned floor-”

“Please watch your language, Coach Park.”

“Do you think I give a fuck what-”

“Jinyoung, please stop.” Coach Wang says tensely.

“Or what? You’ll make me wipe the windows?” Jinyoung scoffs. He waves his hands at Coach Wang like he’s trying to swat a fly. “Whatever, you’re the head coach, do whatever you want. But don’t come running to me when the boys hate you.”

Coach Wang heaves a sigh.

“Hyunjin! How’s Jisung! Is he hurt?” Jinyoung shouts, jogging to where his brother’s holding a shrub parted down the center.

He finds Jisung laying on his back, half-covered in mud. He’s not moving, but he’s definitely awake, because his eyes are wide, wide open. Jisung’s eyes are the only bright, clean part of him, blinking up at the darkening sky.

Jinyoung nudges him with one foot. “Are you hurt?”

“I think I’m becoming one with nature.” Jisung says.

“Get up, Jisung.” Jinyoung groans.

“No.”

“You’re going to miss me picking a fight with Coach Wang.” Jinyoung crosses his arms. “_Mano a mano_.”

“With no shirts on.” Hyunjin adds.

“Wait, let me get my camera!” Jisung springs to his feet like a fresh daisy while Jinyoung shoots his brother a dirty look.


	12. “Sonofabiiiiitch.” - Hyunjoon

Changbin’s grateful that the other guys seem too tired to ask him where he’s been all afternoon, because they just tear through their dinner in complete silence before trudging up to their rooms. He thinks he’s free from awkward concern – _people being worried about you is always an awkward thing_ – until he closes the door to his room behind him.

Chan’s holding his phone up like Simba in a desperate attempt to get cell reception. He nearly drops his phone when he sees Changbin.

“Changbin!” Chan runs towards him. “I just heard about what Coach Wang did to you and Felix it’s fucking horr-”

“It’s not a big deal.” Changbin says. “I was being an asshole. I deserved it.”

“No.” Chan says indignantly. “Making you mop the whole fucking lobby was too much-!”

“Sorry, Chan, but I’m tired as hell.” Changbin rummages through his bag and pulls out his pajamas. “Can we talk about this tomorrow?”

“Of course.” Chan says, lowering his head apologetically. “You’ve had a rough day. You should get some rest.”

“Thanks.”

The guys in the shower stalls around him are shrieking and yelping from the chilly mountain water, but Changbin just shuts his eyes while the water streams down his sides. He’s sure that this on top of how drenched he and Felix had gotten in the mountain earlier are a perfect recipe for getting sick, but he honestly couldn’t care less right now. The cold water feels nice.

Changbin sees shadows flit over his shut eyelids.

He opens his eyes, the stream of water blurring his vision, to find that the naked lightbulb above him is flickering. It blinks on and off for a few seconds, then promptly dies.

The other lights shut off in a strange kind of succession after that, sending the rest of his teammates running and screaming out of the locker room.

Changbin just closes his eyes again and finishes his shower.

He pulls the shower curtain back to find the locker room empty. Moonlight streams in through the window at the end of the locker room, and he can just barely make out his reflection in the long mirror opposite him.

_Well, mostly empty._

The shower curtain at the end of the row twitches, as though someone’s trying to pull it open.

Changbin stands there for a moment, watching the shower curtain until it stops moving. He figures it’s one of the freshmen, paralyzed by fear of the dark or something cute like that.

“Need any help there?” Changbin calls.

The shower curtain doesn’t twitch again.

_Suit yourself._ Changbin shrugs and throws his towel over one shoulder as he starts for the door.

Felix is so tired he feels like his body melts into his bed the second he lies down. The mattress is as thin as cardboard, and he can feel each of the individual slats under it, but it’s just such a welcome change to be _horizontal_.

His eyelids droop shut, and he feels his breathing start to slow down.

This is around the time that his brain does a quick recap of his day – kind of like _That’s What You Missed on Glee!, _though neither Felix nor his dads will ever admit to marathoning the entire series.

Felix’s subconscious hands him a short clip of Changbin sleeping on his shoulder, then one of Changbin smiling at him underneath the tree, then of Changbin’s wet white shirt-

_Get it together, Subconscious, you horny fuck. _Felix’s face screws up into a scowl. _Keep it PG._

_Fine, _his subconscious seems to huff in reply, kicking all the footage of Changbin under a rug. It gives him this vague, greyish video that seems warped and rippled, like it’s underwater.

“Does you coach know where you are?” The female hiker’s voice is muffled. Felix can’t remember what she looks or sounds like.

“You’re a long way off from the hospital.” Felix can’t remember anything about the guy who was with her, either.

_Hospital. This building used to be a hospital._

Felix’s eyes shoot open. Youngjae had drawn the curtains shut, so it’s nearly pitch-black except for a small red light from Youngjae’s charging phone.

Felix carefully rolls over and pulls the curtains open partway. He’s holding his breath the entire time, but once the moonlight floods in to light up the room, he lets the breath go. The room is a little cramped and bare, but empty save for himself and Hyunjin.

Still, even when Felix settles back into bed and shuts his eyes, he can’t fall asleep.

_Fuck this, man. _Felix sits up and looks over at Youngjae, who’s got a fluffy kitty-eared mask over his eyes. “Hey, Youngjae?”

“Nnghh.”

“You awake?”

“Ngh.”

“I guess not.” Felix lays back in bed, feeling the slats creak under him. _Is this the same bed back from when this was a hospital? Has someone fucking _died_ on this bed?_

_Probably, _Felix tells himself, though he’s not sure what good that’d do. _I mean, definitely. A tiny hospital in the middle of nowhere? Tons of people probably died on this bed._

Felix feels a shiver run down his spine.

The longer he lies there thinking about all the people that probably definitely died in his bed, he starts to hear footsteps and creaking and hushed voices. _It’s like I’m suddenly Daredevil. And I can hear EVERYTHING._

Felix brings his fingers up slowly to plug his ears.

Then he hears something heavy hit the floor so hard it shakes his bed.

Youngjae jerks upright, snapping his eye mask off. “Wha-”

“Did you hear that?” Jisung whimpers.

“No I didn’t hear a damn thing, go the fuck to sleep.” Hyunjoon mutters, pressing on the side of his headset to turn his music up.

“That was legit something, dude.” Jisung says, holding his blanket all the way up to his nose. He’s tucked the other three edges of his blanket under the mattress – just so that nothing can crawl in and grab his foot while he’s not sleeping.

“Then go out and see what it is.” Hyunjoon says.

“_What_?” Jisung’s voice squeaks. “No WAY!”

“Then shut up and let me sleep.”

Jisung has to bite his lip to stop himself from saying anything else. Hyunjoon would probably kill him before the demons can even get to him.

Jisung clasps his hands together to pray for the demons to stay the fuck away, but he forgets every prayer he ought to know.

_Fuck. I’m fucked. _

“Hyunjoon!” Jisung hisses. “Did you hear that?”

“No.” Hyunjoon hums as he skips a song.

“What if it’s not demons? What if they’re _robbers_? What if they’re gonna kill us?”

“Just lock the door, dude.” Hyunjoon grumbles.

“_It doesn’t have a lock_!”

“Then we’re gonna fucking die, Jisung, what do you want me to do about it?”

Jisung dives completely under his blanket and starts whispering, “_Jesus please I know you’ve got better stuff to do but please look out for me I know I’ve been a little bitch who hasn’t prayed in years but-”_

“Are you _praying_?” Hyunjoon tugs his headphones off to see if he’d heard it right.

“Yes, don’t fucking interrupt me- Oh god, sorry God, I didn’t mean to swear.” Jisung grips his hands together tightly.

“Dude, I don’t really know how that stuff works, but I’m sure Jesus sends all of _your_ prayers to spam.”

Jisung uses his phone to light up his hand while he flips Hyunjoon off. “Fuck you, man.”

Hyunjoon snorts. “That’s why.”

Something hits the floor, maybe outside or down the hallway, so hard that the vibrations crawl up both of their beds. The both jump so hard they knock their heads against their headboards.

“Did you hear that?” Jisung squeaks.

“Yes, and I hope whatever it is kills me first because I’m gonna fucking pee myself if-”

Another loud thump comes from much closer down the hallway.

“Sonofabiiiiitch.” Hyunjoon whines, ducking under his blanket.

He hears a creaking noise from Jisung’s side of the room, and gently peels the top of his blanket away from his eyes to look.

Jisung’s standing up and putting a jacket and some slippers on.

“Where are you going?” Hyunjoon frowns.

Jisung’s fingers tremble as he switches his phone’s flashlight on. “I’m gonna see what the fuck is up.”

“Why?” Hyunjoon makes a face. “_Why_ would you go _towards_ the weird noise in the middle of the night?”

“Because I can’t sleep and it’s making me stupid!” Jisung hisses back before pulling the door open.

Hyunjoon tries to lie back down, but he looks over at Jisung’s empty bed next to his. “Goddamn it.”

He throws his blanket off and reaches for his own jacket.

Changbin hears three light knocks on the door. He hadn’t been asleep, partly because of Chan’s worry-free, loud-as-hell snoring, and partly because he’s not sure how to fall asleep on purpose anymore.

He’d heard a couple of loud thumps, or at least he thought he had. Chan’s still snoring away peacefully next to him, so Changbin figures it must’ve just been his imagination.

He hears the knocks on the door again. They’re timid, but definitely there.

Changbin looks over at Chan’s sleeping form. Chan’s limbs are flung out in every direction, and his chest just keeps rising and falling in time with his snores.

“Cap?” Someone calls through the door.

Changbin kicks his blanket off.

He shuffles in his slippers as he pushes aside the chair Chan had propped up against the door (since there wasn’t a lock).

He opens the door a crack, poking just his nose out into the hallway. “Yeah?”

Felix is standing in the hallway, looking surprised to see him. _Like he’d been expecting Chan to answer the door instead._

“I… um… This is going to sound very stupid,” Felix scuffs his fluffy slipper against the floor. “But there are noises coming from the other side of the building and we’re uh…”

He looks back at the tiny clump of guys assembled behind him. It’s basically half the team, and they’re staring Changbin down with wide owl eyes.

“What do you want me to do?” Changbin frowns.

“Anything.” Jisung says.

“Literally anything.” Youngjae says.

“I think I need a hug.” Dongpyo says.

Hyunjoon scoffs. “I think I need more than a-”

A door slams just across the plywood Franken-wall. Little beams of bluish-white light flash from the cracks between the plywood monstrosity. Then another door slams shut.

None of the boys have the presence of mind to even scream.

Changbin takes a deep breath. “Maybe it’s just the hostel staff.”

“It’s the middle of the night, Cap.” Sunwoo says.

“They’re supposed to be here 24/7 anyway, right?” Changbin says.

“There’s only one way to find out.” Jisung’s voice is unusually low. “We need to go to the other side.”

Dongpyo gasps. “But Coach Wang said we shouldn’t-”

“None of us care about Coach Wang here,” Jisung snorts.

“Hey.” Changbin elbows Jisung in the ribs. “He’s still our coach.”

“You’re really saying that after what he did to you?” Juyeon mutters.

“Yes, and let’s just get this over with.” Changbin’s eyes seem to snag on Felix’s pale face. “There’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for-”

A shrill woman’s scream from downstairs cuts him off.

Son Dongpyo wants to believe their captain, not because he’s the captain, but because the world would be a much better place if ghosts turned out not to be real, after all.

His palms are sweaty as he steps carefully down the stairs behind his teammates. Their captain’s at the front, obviously, holding out a phone flashlight. Huddled behind him are a bunch of the other older guys that Dongpyo doesn’t know well, and Lee Felix, who’s Dongpyo’s throw-and-catch partner. Dongpyo grins at that, despite everything. Rounding up the back, behind Dongpyo, are Coach Park’s brother Park Hyunjin, and Han Jisung, the loud upperclassman.

Dongpyo’s not sure if he’s still breathing. He could be dead already, for all he knows. All he really knows is that he’s going down the stairs, one step at a time, in almost complete darkness. The metal railing is ice-cold to the touch – actually, the entire stairwell is chilly – _wHICH MEANS THERE ARE GHOSTS NEARBY!!!_

“Go, go forward,” Han Jisung hisses, poking Dongpyo in the back when the latter has to stop for his shaking knees.

“Sorry sir.” Dongpyo whispers back.

The entire hostel lobby is lit a dull green by the lamps outside the windows. Earlier that day the scattered sofas and unkempt potted plants had just looked messy, but now they’re all dark silhouettes that seem to shift around every time you aren’t looking directly at them. Dongpyo rubs his eyes and blinks very, very hard at a couch. He thought he’d seen something on it, like a person sitting on it, but when he’s done a double take, the person had disappeared.

“Keep moving.” Park Hyunjin whines quietly from behind Dongpyo.

Dongpyo looks up to find the others already nearing the opposite stairwell. He shuffles over in his soft slippers to catch up, with Han Jisung and Park Hyunjin scurrying close behind.

As soon as they catch up, the entire group of boys comes to a sudden stop. Dongpyo’s nose knocks into the head of the guy in front of him. “Sorry.”

The guy waves it off, looking dead ahead at their captain.

Seo Changbin lowers the phone flashlight slowly, until his confused face is lit up from underneath. Dongpyo’s too far down the stairs to see what he’s seeing, but the growing frown on their captain’s face is making the back of his neck prickle. _Or maybe something else is doing that. _

Dongpyo turns around slowly to look. Park Hyunjin and Han Jisung are right behind him, both of them frowning up at the other boys in the stairwell, so they don’t see the dark figure silhouetted against the hostel doors.

Dongpyo rubs his eyes and looks again.

The figure is still there.

Dongpyo opens his mouth to try to say something, but his throat’s gone completely dry, and he can only muster a hoarse gasp.

The figure starts moving towards them, dragging some large mound – _another person?_ – across the floor.

Han Jisung notices that Dongpyo’s staring at something, and turns around slowly.

“HOLY FUCKING SH-”

The figure starts stomping over. “Why the fuck hasn’t anyone turned on the lights?”

All the boys are blinded by a sudden flash of light before Jisung can even finish swearing.

Jisung opens one eye experimentally. Everywhere around him is blindingly bright all of a sudden. _Is this it? The Good Place?_

His eyes quickly adjust to the light, and he realizes that he’s still in the hostel in the middle of nowhere. All of the lights have been switched on, and judging by the way his teammates are crouched and staggering around in the sudden brightness, none of them had done it.

_Oh. _

The figure standing next to the light switch is glaring at him. _It’s a very, very sexy figure._

“H- Hi babe,” Jisung squeaks out. “W- What are you doing here?”

“_What are you doing here?_” Minho echoes, rolling his eyes. “We’re here for fucking training camp, you absolute dickwad, which you would’ve known if you’d read any of my texts-”

“Aw, come on, Minho, darling, love of my life, fire of my loins,” Jisung’s practically groveling on the floor. “You know I’m illiterate.”

“Shut up and help me bring this upstairs.” Minho grins as he shoves the bundle of clothes he’d been dragging across the lobby floor into Jisung’s arms.

Felix lets out a very long, slow sigh. His heart is tumbling around in his chest and jackhammering against his ribs.

“Hey, Felix.” Changbin’s voice is gentle, and the corner of his mouth is turned up in a half smile. “Can I have my hand back?”

“Oh.” Felix realizes he’s been wringing Changbin’s hand so tightly it’s gone white. He drops it and tucks his hands self-consciously into his pajama pockets. “Sorry, I didn’t mean-”

Something taps Felix gently on the shoulder, and he nearly jumps clean out of his skin.

“Dongpyo! Please don’t scare me like that!” Felix gasps out, slumping against the wall.

“Sorry Mr. Felix sir,” Dongpyo lowers his head. “I was just wondering who these people are?”

“They’re the S----- High Bears,” Changbin says, exchanging fives with some of the Bears as they pass by with their bags. “Need any help with that?”

“No thanks, we’re good, man, thanks.”

Dongpyo frowns at Felix.

“Why?” Felix says, trying hard not to smile at Dongpyo’s scrunched-up, confused face. “Were you really hoping it was ghosts or some shit?”

“No, of course not.” Dongpyo says. He leans in and whispers behind one hand, “But aren’t they our, um, rivals?”

“Oh, yeah, they are.” Felix assures the freshman. Then he sees Jeongin coming down the stairs and starts waving with both arms. “Yeniii!”

“Hey dude!” Jeongin jumps the last few steps and tackles Felix in a hug. Actually, it’s more of an affectionate rugby tackle than a hug, but Felix smiles through it even though all the air’s been knocked out of his lungs. “You guys must be on the other side of that weird plywood thing.”

“Yeah, we are.” Felix says. “It’s weird as hell, isn’t it?”

“Not as weird as the doors. They don’t have any locks and they slam all the damn time.” Jeongin says. “Did we wake you guys up?”

“Ish.” Felix glances at his teammates, who’re standing around in their pajamas talking to their friends from the Bears. “Not that we could really sleep anyway, this place is highkey creepy. We met a bunch of hikers who said it used to be a hospital and it’s just all around weird so…”

“Why.” Jeongin gives him a dead stare. “Why would you say something like that.”

Felix gives him a sweet smile. “So we suffer together, dude.”

“I hate you.”


	13. “I don’t do well with demons.” – Park Hyunjin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare yourselves for literally 5 seconds of baseball

“You’re telling me,” Jackson starts, blinking as he tries to process it in his sleep-deprived state. There had been so much noise last night that he doubts he’d hit one cycle of REM. He doesn’t know how to boys have enough energy to be this loud at breakfast, but it’s making the coach feel like he’s on his way to a migraine. “That you invited the 7-time national champions here for a _friendly_ match?”

“Yes.”

“Without asking me first?”

“Do I really need-” Jinyoung starts when someone whacks him on the arm, _hard_. “ow, jesus, what the fuck?”

“Hey there, _Junior_.” The Bears’ coach says, giving him a less-than-friendly smirk as she passes by with a plate full of breakfast. “You losers ready for us today?”

Jinyoung rolls his eyes. He makes a lazy gesture between Jackson and the Bears’ coach. “Coach Wang, this is Yoo Jungyeon, she’s the Bears’ coach. Coach Yoo, this is Jackson Wang, our new head coach.”

“_Head_ coach, huh?” Coach Yoo balances her plate on one hand and extends the other to Jackson. “How’d you manage to demote _Junior_ here?”

Jackson notices the way Jinyoung scowls whenever she calls him that, so he figures they must be close. “It was the school’s decision, Coach Yoo,” He tries to shake the other coach’s hand politely, but she crushes his hand in hers. “But we’re effectively sharing the coaching duties.”

Coach Yoo laughs and whacks Jinyoung again. “Congrats on learning how to share, Junior.”

Jinyoung sighs and lets her keep laughing.

Jackson sighs, too.

“What’s on the table, Cap?” Minho asks, stretching his legs while the coaches argue about how far the bases should be from each other.

Changbin frowns. “What?”

“He’s asking what we’re betting on this game.” Jisung says.

“We are _not_ gambling on a friendly match.” Chan gives Jisung a stern look while the latter helps him into his catcher’s gear. “Or any match, actually.”

“No, we’re not betting _money_,” Minho laughs. “We’re not assholes.”

“Not _that_ much, anyway.” Changbin says.

“I love you, too, Changbin.” Minho sneers. “So, what’s on the table?”

“I have a suggestion, Captain.” Seungmin says, popping up from behind Minho with one hand raised.

“What is it?” Minho asks.

“The losing team has to volunteer at the shelter.”

Minho and Jisung groan, but Chan perks up.

“That sounds nice.” Chan beams.

Changbin frowns. “What shelter are we talking about?”

“The animal shelter on Walnut Street. Hyunjin and -” Seungmin looks up at the sky and considers it for a moment. “I mean, _I_ volunteer there every other day. We really need more volunteers.”

“Don’t you pick up dog shit all afternoon?” Minho makes a face.

“You literally scoop your cat’s shit every day, babe.” Jisung scoffs.

Minho narrows his eyes at him as if to say, _Don’t fucking try me. _

“Yeah.” Changbin says firmly, because the coaches look ready to eat each other, and someone’s got to stop them soon. “Good idea. You in, Minho?”

“Yeah, sure.” Minho shrugs, shaking Changbin’s hand so tightly that Changbin feels a little uncomfortable. He doesn’t like people touching him, and Minho’s face is probably in the dictionary definition for _touchy_.

As if to prove his point, Minho smacks Jisung on the ass before running over to the makeshift diamond. “Coach Yoo! It’s good! Don’t- Oh god, Coach Yoo, _please_.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Jungyeon says, holding out a bag of ice to Jinyoung.

“Civilized people don’t _bite_.” Jinyoung grumbles, holding the bag of ice to his shoulder. His shirt already has a damp spot with some tooth imprints on it.

“It was an accident, Jinyoung, she tripped.” The Weevils’ other coach says. Jungyeon’s forgotten his name already, but he seems nice. _Sorry, dude._

“Tripped my _ass_.” Jinyoung rolls his eyes and walks over to stand behind Chan and signal to Hyunjin.

Hyunjin watches Jinyoung’s hands intently – Jungyeon still hasn’t figured out what the signals mean, but that’s on her at this point – then winds up and throws a picture-perfect splitter.

“Strike!”

_Show-off_, Jungyeon thinks fondly as her own guy wiggles his shoulders, flustered. It’s one of the four freshmen, the really tall one, but they’re all tall and baby-faced and she can’t tell them apart. _Sorry, kiddos. _

“So you’re the new head coach of the Bears, huh?”

Jungyeon turns to the Weevils’ new coach slowly. _Is this guy trying to fucking small-talk me?_

“Yeah.” She says, narrowing her eyes. “What of it?”

“I used to be Coach Park’s assistant coach.” The Weevils’ new coach says. Then he makes a face. “I mean, Coach Park Jinyoung. I mean, uh, the retired one.”

“Oh.” Jungyeon says. “So was I.”

“I’m surprised he had a female assistant coach at all.”

Jungyeon mentally scratches out _he seems nice_ and replaces it with _asshole. _“I don’t usually say anything, but I’m kind of multi-awarded. And I’m on the national team so-”

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sure you’re great,” The Weevils’ coach says. “But Coach Park’s kind of a bigot.”

“_Kind of_?” Jungyeon scoffs. “He’s the biggest bigot I’ve ever met.”

“Oh.” The Weevils’ coach sighs. “Guess nothing’s changed after all.”

Jungyeon purses her lips as her freshman trudges back to the bench. She mouths, _It’s okay_, at him, and motions for the next guy to go.

She looks back at the Weevils’ new coach again. She can’t judge him, which is weird, because she does little else but judge other people.

“Doesn’t Junior- I mean, Jinyoung remind you of him?”

The Weevils’ new coach frowns at her. “Just because they have the same name?”

“No, the way they behave and stuff.” Jungyeon shrugs. “Except Jinyoung’s like the sexy feminist version.”

“You don’t like Jinyoung at all, don’t you?” The Weevils’ coach chuckles.

Jungyeon studies the other coach’s face carefully. “Do you?”

It takes him a long time to say, “I respect him.”

“It’s probably all chill now, but wait till the season starts.” Jungyeon says, reaching into her pocket for some gum to pass the time. “Jinyoung can’t stand being in second place.”

“We’ve got two outs, we can’t risk it. We need at least three runs to beat them.” Jackson says. He gives Felix a hard look. “Look, there’s no shame in bunting-”

“Yes there is, otherwise they wouldn’t give it name like _bunting._” Jinyoung scoffs. He pats Felix on the arm. “You know how fast Jeongin throws. Watch him closely, adjust your swing, you’ll be fine.”

“Don’t swing.” Jackson says. “Bunt.”

“Why don’t you think Felix can hit a home run?” Jinyoung asks.

Felix looks at Jackson with wide eyes, as if echoing Coach Park’s question.

“It’s not that I don’t think Felix can do it, I know he can-”

“Then let him-”

“Sure, but not _now_.” Jackson says. “If he just bunts it properly, we can load all the bases, and Chan’s next-”

“Felix can do this.” Jinyoung says. “Right, Felix?”

“Yes, Coach.” Felix nods aggressively. “I think I’ve got this.”

“Felix, it’s not that I don’t believe in you, just please… We’ve got a plan, please just follow it.” Jackson has never begged a kid like this in his entire career.

At least Felix looks conflicted. His little face is scrunched up like he’s never had to make a decision like this before.

“Hey boys!” Coach Yoo calls from the other side of the diamond. “We don’t have all afternoon! You’d have gotten a penalty already if this were a real match!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Jinyoung pats Felix on the back. “Go get ‘em, Felix.”

Felix picks up the bat. “Get ‘em _how_?”

“Bunt.” Jackson says.

“Don’t.” Jinyoung says.

Felix’s pupils go in separate directions. “_What_?”

“Stop confusing him, Jinyoung.” Jackson growls. “Just bunt, Felix, and that’s final.”

“But you see an opening, just go for it-”

“Jinyoung!” Jackson snaps. He feels all the boys on the bench turn to him, watching him closely. He can’t antagonize Jinyoung in front of them. First of all, it’s unprofessional as fuck, but more importantly, Jinyoung’s sheep are going to turn against him. _It’s bad enough that I don’t have the fucking captain on my side, _Jackson thinks, feeling Changbin’s cold glare on his back.

“Go, Felix.” Jackson sighs. “You be the judge. Do what feels right.”

Felix nods vaguely, then turns to the plate with a frown still on his face.

Jeongin can’t get this nursery rhyme out of his head, but he doesn’t even know the words. He just knows that his sister loves to play it on repeat for the entire freaking day.

Felix looks upset when he turns to Jeongin.

Jeongin lifts a thumb up to ask, _Are you okay?_

Felix smiles and nods, but it’s a forced smile.

Jeongin winds up. He knows it’s not exactly fair to anyone, but he decides to give Felix an easy, straightforward pitch. He even slows it down a little.

Felix swings too early. _Dammit. _

Jeongin takes a breath. He speeds up the next pitch a little bit, but then Felix swings too late.

Felix is starting to look as frustrated as Jeongin feels.

“Bunt!” The Weevils’ new coach calls to Felix.

Jeongin has to agree. _If Felix isn’t feeling it today, he can’t waste the other two guys already in the diamond. _

He winds up and throws the ball at a moderate pace, almost exactly at Felix’s chest level.

Felix lifts the bat.

_No! What are you doing? _Jeongin groans internally. _Don’t-_

Felix takes a swing, and the ball actually knocks into the bat with a loud _ping!_

The next couple of things happen too quickly for Jeongin’s brain to register. All he knows for sure is that the ball had popped up and fallen in his direction, and his hand had shot out to catch it. Only when the ball’s safely inside his glove does he realize what he’s done. _Oh crap._

“Oooouut!” Coach Yoo sings out gleefully, starting to dance from her place beside the diamond. Minho tears his mask off and starts dancing with her.

Felix knows it’s just a practice match, but he feels awful. He knows his teammates don’t mean to do it, but they all walk past him without saying anything, because they’re busy arguing about when they’re going to the animal shelter to scoop dog poop.

“Hey, Felix!” Jeongin squeezes Felix’s arm. “Sorry about that, I-”

“It’s okay, you were just doing what you were supposed to do.” Felix tries to laugh, but it sounds really sad.

“It’s my Mommy, she’s been _slave-driving_ me on the weekends.” Jeongin groans.

“I guess it’s working.” Felix says.

“Still, I’m sorry.” Jeongin says.

“It’s not your fault, dude.” Felix says. He forces his mouth into a smile. “You guys getting a break after this, too?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I brought my Switch.” Felix almost smiles when Jeongin’s jaw drops open. “You wanna play-”

“YES!” Jeongin yelps like he’s been electrocuted. “Where is it? I’ll get it.”

“It’s in my blue backpack. My room’s third from the stairs, on our side of the build-”

“Okay okay okay I’ll be right back!” Jeongin says, already sprinting towards the building.

Felix notices Coach Wang standing off to one side. Coach Park and Coach Yoo are walking behind the other boys as they go into the hostel, joking about something or the other. Coach Yoo punches Coach Park on the arm, and the latter starts complaining loudly about Coach Yoo’s steroid-jacked arms. The boys in front of them start laughing.

_I guess coaches can be friends, too. _Felix thinks, looking back at Coach Wang, who’s frowning at his pone so intently it’s obvious he’s not actually reading anything on it.

_He’s probably mad at me. _

Felix walks up to him carefully. “Hey, Coach Wang?”

“Hm?” Coach Wang pockets his phone. “Oh hey, Felix.”

“I’m sorry about awhile ago, Coach.” Felix says. “I should’ve listened to you.”

Coach Wang’s mouth pulls into a line. “Well, we don’t really know what would’ve happened if you’d listened to me. But um, in the future, in our actual games, keep this in mind.”

“I know.” Felix lowers his head. “I’m sorry.”

“I’d like to think I’m the head coach for a reason. I know what I’m doing.” Coach Wang says, and the way he sounds makes Felix feel worse than he already had.

Felix opens his mouth to say something, but someone beats him to it.

“Coach Wang.”

Felix looks up to find Changbin standing next to them. He looks at Felix with both eyebrows raised, then frowns at Coach Wang.

“It’s not Felix’s fault if you and Coach Park can’t agree.” Changbin says, and his voice is taking on that rough, ready-to-pick-a-fight tone that makes Felix feel uncomfortable.

“Are you ever going to get tired of antagonizing me, Captain?” Coach Wang asks.

Changbin looks the coach right in the eyes and says, “No.”

Felix can’t imagine himself doing that. Changbin scares him a little, sometimes.

“Hey Cap,” Felix says. “Jeongin and I are gonna play Mario Kart, you wanna take a turn-”

Changbin looks surprised. “I-”

“I thought we banned gaming consoles.” Coach Wang says.

_Oh crap. _

_Stupid Felix._

_Stupid, idiot Felix. _

_Stupid idiot dumbass bigmouth butterfingers-_

“Sorry, Felix, but I’m afraid we have to uphold the rules.” Coach Wang says. Felix finds it weird how he turns to Changbin and adds, “Right, Captain?”

Changbin doesn’t reply.

“Sorry, Coach, I’ll turn it in.” Felix dips into an apologetic bow. “I’m sorry.”

Felix turns to try to pry the Switch out of Jeongin’s cold, dead hands, but he realizes that Changbin doesn’t follow. He notices the angry look on Coach Wang’s face, so he pulls Changbin along by the sleeve before they can start fighting. “Come on, Cap.”

“Felix-”

“Sorry for dragging you.” Felix lets go of Changbin’s sleeve once they’re inside the hostel. “But please don’t fight Coach Wang anymore.”

Changbin’s hands are curled into fists. “I only fight people when they deserve it.”

“He already has his hands full with Coach Park.” Felix sighs, reaching out to unfurl Changbin’s fists. “He’s doing the best he can, Cap. We kinda all are.”

Changbin doesn’t say anything, but he’s looking down at his hands.

Which are being held open by Felix’s.

“Crap. Sorry.” Felix drops Changbin’s hands. _Why are you like this, Felix? He already told you to stop it, gosh. _“I’ll go get my Switch and give it to Coach Wang.”

“Yeah.” Changbin nods slowly.

Changbin’s hands are warm and sweaty, like they always are after a game, but this time the warmth has crawled all the way up to his face. He tries to convince himself it’s because he’s pissed at Coach Wang, but he knows it’s because Lee Felix is so weird. _And his hands are so small and soft. For a baseball player._

_Water. I need to drink water._

He’s still looking own at his hands as he walks into the hostel’s kitchen.

“Sorry, but you’re not supposed to be here.”

Changbin looks up. There’s a man and a woman in the kitchen, and they’re both wearing the same white shirt with the hostel’s name on it. “S- Sorry, I- I was just looking f-for-”

“Dinner’s not ready yet.” The woman chuckles.

Changbin frowns. “W- Where’s the old lady?”

The man frowns right back at him. “What old lady?”

“T- The one who works here?”

The man and the woman frown at each other.

“You must mean Ms. Jeong,” The man says. “The receptionist?”

Changbin nods. “I guess.”

“No, Ms. Jeong’s on maternal leave.” The woman flicks the man on the arm. “She’s really sorry she wasn’t able to welcome you boys personally yesterday.”

“But she left the keys with the guy, right?” The man says.

“Of course, how else would they have gotten in.” The woman laughs. She must notice the utterly confused look on Changbin’s face, so she asks. “What’s wrong, dear?”

“T- There was a- an, uh, an old lady working here in the kitchen y-yesterday.”

“Yesterday…” The woman’s smile falters. “It was our day off yesterday. Ms. Jeong said you guys were bringing your own food so we didn’t need to.”

Changbin doesn’t know what to say to that, so he settles on, “C- Can I have a glass of w-water?”

“Oh sure.” The woman hands him a glass. “There’s a pitcher outside.”

“Th- Thank you.” Changbin gives them both a quick bow before leaving the kitchen.

He hears their voices waft out through the swinging doors.

“I can’t believe someone saw her again.” The man says.

“Should we tell Ms. Jeong?” The woman sounds nervous.

“No.”

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Chan laughs, putting an arm around Changbin. “What’s up, Changbin?”

Changbin doesn’t know what to say to him.

“Ghost?” Jisung pops his head out of the door to his room. “You saw a ghost? Where?”

“Changbin saw a ghost?” Minho asks, pushing Jisung out of the room.

“Cap saw a ghost!” Jisung yells as he stumbles into the hallway.

All the other doors swing open, and the Weevils come pouring out into the hallway in various states of panic.

Chan frowns at Changbin. “Did you really?”

“No, I didn’t see anything.” Changbin says. “Ghosts don’t exist.”

“Don’t say that, they’ll get offended.” Hyunjin says, trying to cower behind Jisung.

“Get off of me, dude.” Jisung shakes him off. He looks at Changbin with his eyes wide. “What did it look like?”

“I told you, I didn’t see anything.” Changbin grumbles. “Where’s Felix? I need to talk to him.”

“Oh, he _definitely_ saw a ghost.” Minho crosses his arms. “Did Felix see it too?”

“No, he said there’s no such thing as ghosts, let’s leave it at that!” Chan sputters out, all the blood drained from his face.

“Stop scaring yourselves.” Changbin says, and though he’s not so sure anymore, he repeats, “Ghosts don’t exist.”

“What’s going on here?”

All the boys scream and start running into each other and the walls.

Coach Park crosses his arms. “Boys, what the hell is going on?”

Minho starts. “Changbin saw a ghost and-”

“You’re not allowed to be here, Minho.” Coach Park rolls his eyes. “What are you even doing here?”

Minho points at Jisung without saying another word.

“This place is haunted!” Jisung squeaks.

“Well, so what if it is?” Coach Park frowns.

“We have to sleep here tonight, Coach.” Chan whines.

“I don’t do well with demons.” Hyunjin says.

“Guys!” Changbin shakes off the three Weevils who’d been clinging to him. “Calm down. For the last time, there is _no_ such thing as-”

The fluorescent light above them pops, showering them in plastic and glass. The next one follows suit, then the next, until the entire hallway is only vaguely lit by the dying light from outside.


	14. THE G-WORD

“Okay, boys, I know we were all surprised-”

“It’s more of ‘scared shitless’, Coach.”

Jackson sighs. “Okay, perhaps you were, Jisung. But let’s all calm down and look at the facts.”

The Weevils and the Bears are all huddled in the lobby around the five candles that the hostel staff could find. It’s partly because of the light and partly because of myopia, but Jackson can barely see anything other than the terrified faces of teenage boys who do not give a single fuck about the facts.

“The electricity is out, and so are the phones. I’m guessing it’s because of the storm.” Jackson says, and at that moment thunder rumbles outside. The boys screech and scramble to duck behind something or the other.

“Guys! It’s _just_ thunder!” Changbin shouts at the Weevils.

“Calm the fuck down, everyone!” The captain of the Bears barks at his own teammates.

“Listen to Coach Wang!” Chan calls out.

The boys slowly huddle around Jackson again. Jackson takes a deep breath.

“The hostel staff have gone home to check on their families, but they’ve left food for dinner. We’ll just have to eat it cold.” Jackson says. “Coach Park and Coach Yoo are getting the food from the kitchen, but they’ll need two people to help-”

“I can go.” Changbin says.

“Me too.” Felix says.

Jackson’s too surprised to say anything but, “O- Okay.”

Changbin’s holding his phone out ahead of him to light his way, but he can hardly move forward with Felix clutching the back of his shirt like this.

“Felix.”

“Sorry.” Felix lets go of Changbin’s shirt.

Changbin pushes the cafeteria doors open. It feels like an old refrigerator inside – cold, damp, and a little bit earthy.

“I hope the old lady’s safe at home.” Felix says quietly.

_Should I tell him? _

There’s a loud crash from the kitchen and a loud swear – probably from Coach Yoo, by the sounds of it.

Felix jumps and grabs Changbin’s shirt again.

Changbin sighs. _No, knowing won’t help._

“I’m sure she’s fine. She’s a tough old lady.” Changbin says, carefully prying Felix’s hand off his shirt. Felix’s hands are clammy, but still soft.

“Cap.”

“S- Sorry.” Changbin lets go of Felix’s hand.

“No, I-”

The doors to the kitchen swing open. Coach Yoo storms out holding a flashlight in one hand. “What the hell took you guys so long?”

“Sorry, Coach Yoo.” Felix says, bowing quickly before running into the kitchen.

“Come on.” Coach Yoo says motioning with her flashlight for Changbin to hurry.

“Hey.”

Hyunjin squints up in the darkness. _Wait, you big dumb-dumb, you know who that is. _“Hey, Seungmin.”

“Can I sit here?” Seungmin asks, nudging the seat next to Hyunjin at the cafeteria table.

“Sure.” Hyunjin kicks the chair out for him.

“Thanks.” Seungmin puts his bowl down on the table and starts eating.

Hyunjin chews carefully, ready to push his food off to one side to reply when Seungmin says something. But Seungmin doesn’t say anything.

_I guess he’s hungry. _

Hyunjin keeps waiting. The guys in the tables around them are all talking to each other, as if they aren’t scared out of their minds in the almost complete darkness. Hyunjin’s not a huge fan of conversation, but he doesn’t mind it when it’s Seungmin.

“This storm is pretty bad.” Hyunjin says.

“Yeah. It is.” Seungmin says.

“I hope it blows over soon.” Hyunjin says.

“Yeah, me too.” Seungmin says.

Hyunjin’s run out of things to say about their situation that has nothing to do with the g-word, but Seungmin’s being weird, and Hyunjin’s _this_ close to talking about the g-word just to get him to talk.

“Seungmin.” Hyunjin says.

“Yeah?” Seungmin doesn’t seem interested.

“Nothing.” Hyunjin says quickly.

“Okay.”

_TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE G-WORD, _Hyunjin thinks, pushing the last of his food around in his bowl.

“The other guys said they saw a ghost.” Hyunjin says, feeling chills run up his entire body just thinking about it. If anything, _anything_ at all jump-scares him right now, in this dark-ass cafeteria with these five flickering candles, he’s going to wet himself.

“I heard.”

“You’re not scared?”

“Should I be?”

Hyunjin makes a face. “Uh, yes of course, it’s a freaking _ghost_, Seungmin, you should definitely be scared! I’m so scared I think I’m just gonna pass out or piss myself or-”

“Did the ghost do anything to them?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Then why should we be afraid of it?”

“Oh.” Hyunjin leans back in his seat. _Trust Seungmin to be the smartest person ever. _

“This is idiotic.”

“Yes, it is.” Jungyeon says fondly, shining her flashlight over the boys unrolling their blankets onto the hostel lobby’s floor. She can’t quite tell which ones are hers and which ones are Weevils anymore, but she doesn’t care. They look hilarious, settling onto the lobby floor like dust.

“They’ll be much more comfortable in their rooms.” The Weevils’ new coach says.

“They’re scared, Coach. Pretty sure they’re not concerned about comfort right now.” Jungyeon says.

Lightning flashes outside the lobby’s doors, sending half the boys screaming and the other half laughing at the first half.

The Weevils’ new coach sighs. “I’ll be upstairs in my room if anything happens.”

“You’re not staying down here?”

“No, there’s nowhere to sleep.” The Weevils’ coach frowns down at the boys curling up on top of what look like blankets, jackets, and towels. “Good night, Coach Yoo.”

“’Night.” Jungyeon gives him a lazy salute. She feels just a little bit bad for him. He seems competent, ridiculously wealthy, and painfully _normal. _

_How did a guy like that end up with a team like this?_

“Coach Yoo,” Jinyoung nudges her with his elbow. “You can head up to your room. I’ll stay with them.”

Jungyeon grins as she crosses her arms. “Why, because it’s not _proper_ for us to sleep together?”

Jinyoung holds his flashlight to his face so she can see him rolling his eyes.

Jungyeon laughs. “Sorry, couldn’t resist. Anyway, I’m the one legally liable for all my kids, so I’ve got to stay down here.”

She zips her hoodie up and flops onto the nearest empty couch. She grins when she hears Jinyoung drop himself unceremoniously on the next couch. The boys are starting to settle down at last, their screams dying down to anxious whispers about demons.

Then lightning strikes again, followed by a clap of thunder. The entire lobby is filled with the sounds of furniture getting knocked into and pubescent males on the brink of death.

Jungyeon kicks her shoes off and nudges Jinyoung with her sock-covered toe. “How did we get saddled with such losers?”

Jinyoung slaps her foot away. “As if you’re not a loser.”

“Harsh. And you wonder why you’re single…” Jungyeon rests her foot on Jinyoung’s face.

“God fucking damn it.” Jinyoung tears her sock off and throws it off to one side. A yelp from what sounds like Yang Jeongin lets Jungyeon know whom to ask for her sock in the morning.

“Good night, Coach Park.”

“Good night, Coach Yoo.”

Jungyeon shuts her eyes – not that it makes much of a difference when it’s _this_ dark – and smiles to herself.

Changbin opens his eyes. He knows it’s cold, but he’s sweating.

Hyunjin is curled into his left side, all but resting his head on Changbin’s chest, and Jisung’s using his right arm as a pillow. Changbin tries to wriggle free, but his right arm’s asleep and his friends’ heads are heavy as _hell._

_Which is funny, considering there’s nothing in them._

Changbin squirms until Hyunjin rolls away, then uses his left arm like a crowbar, prying his other arm out from under Jisung’s concrete block of a head.

He reaches for his phone, but it doesn’t light up when he presses the power button. _Damn it._

Changbin feels around in the dark, crawling on all fours like he’s playing an intense game of twister to avoid the other guys on the floor. The rain’s stopped and there’s some moonlight streaming in from outside the lobby windows, so he can see the basic shapes of things. He can’t be sure who’s who, or if some kind of demon has crawled in among them, but Changbin really doesn’t care.

He pushes the front door of the lobby open and steps out, taking a deep breath of the crisp night air. It’s a welcome change from the stuffiness of the lobby, or maybe that’s just the smell of him and the other guys not having taken a bath all day.

There’s a figure perched on the edge of the front steps, looking out into the pitch-black forest across the road.

“Hey,” Changbin says.

“Oh, hey.” Chan waves at him, then pats the empty space next to him. “Can’t sleep either?”

“No.” Changbin sits down probably a foot away from Chan.

“We should probably get some sleep.” Chan tapping his foot against the tiled first step. “Coach Wang wants to take us all out for a run at sunrise tomorrow.”

_Of course he’d tell Chan and not me, right? _“Does he.”

“Doubt it’d happen, though.” Chan adds quickly. “Since the guys took so long to actually fall asleep and stuff.”

Changbin just nods with a noncommittal grunt. He doesn’t mean to be rude to Chan, but he just doesn’t know what to say, and would rather not say something just for the sake of it.

“What’s up?” Chan asks, turning to Changbin.

“It’s pretty hot inside. We’re packed like sardines.” Changbin says.

“No, I mean,” Chan shrugs. “You’re usually out like a light during training camp.”

“It’s hard to stay asleep when you’re all sweaty.” Changbin fans out the back of his damp t-shirt.

“But it’s not just today.” Chan says. “You’ve been acting different… for a while now.”

“I’m tired.”

“All the time?” Chan’s eyes widen in concern, so much so that Changbin can see it even in the low light.

“Senior year is tough.” Changbin says. “You know.”

“Oh, yeah. Me of all people.” Chan lets out a self-deprecating chuckle.

A bird calls out from somewhere in the forest, and another bird seems to answer from further away. A cloud passes over the moon, leaving Chan and Changbin in darkness on top of the silence.

“Sorry.” Changbin sighs. “I know you’ve had it much worse than me.”

“No, _I’m_ sorry.” Chan’s foot stops tapping against the steps. “I shouldn’t have stayed on in W------ High. It’s made everything… a mess.”

Changbin makes a face. “You didn’t have a choice.”

“I did.” Chan says. “There was another school… but I guess I just couldn’t let the team go.”

_Well the team hasn’t let _you_ go, _Changbin finds himself thinking bitterly. He knows Chan can’t see him, but he turns his head away anyway. His expression must be sour as fuck, but it’s not because he’s pissed off. He just can’t reconcile things in his head.

_Why would Chan do that on purpose? Chan’s not… It’s not like Chan at all to do that. _

_We’re _friends_. And even if we weren’t… Chan just wouldn’t do this to someone _on purpose_._

The moon peeks out from behind the cloud, bathing them in faint bluish light.

Changbin clears his throat and stands up. “I- I should go back in.”

“Changbin?”

Changbin’s already brushing dirt off his ass. “…Yeah?”

Chan’s picking at the leaves of a poor fern by the side of the steps. “We haven’t watched a movie in a while… You know, you, me, and Jisung. We used to watch one like every month.”

“Jisung’s busy with his boyfriend.” Changbin stomps some of the dirt off his sweatpants. “And you’ve got one too, so…”

“Yeah, but Younghoon’s really busy these days.” Chan’s entire face lights up. “The uni team’s training schedule is intense and he’s understudying, uh, he’s the understudy in their _West Side Story_…”

Changbin just nods, because Chan’s eyes literally sparkle when he talks about Younghoon, and it makes Changbin feel a little weird. Like he’d stood up too quickly after lying down for a long time. _Am I jealous? Not really. _

Changbin must look uncomfortable, because Chan stops in the middle of gushing about Younghoon’s voice. Chan tucks his face into his hands. “Sorry, Changbin. You should really stop me when I… yeah.”

“It’s okay.” Changbin shrugs. “I’m glad you’re happy, Chan.”

“Thanks.” Chan looks up sheepishly. “I want you to be happy, too, Changbin.”

Changbin stuffs his hands into his pockets. “We should really try to get some sleep.”

Chan stands up and grabs Changbin by the arm. If anyone else had even tried that, Changbin would’ve thrown them to the ground. _But Chan’s Chan, and despite everything…_

“I’m sorry for being such a shit friend lately, Changbin.” Chan gives Changbin’s arm a light squeeze.

“You’re not.” Changbin says, just for Chan’s sake. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Thanks.” Chan finally lets go of Changbin’s arm. “And uh, Changbin?”

“Yeah?”

“There’s someone out there for you.”

Changbin stops with one hand on the door handle. “I wasn’t looking.”

Felix sneezes.

“Keep going!” Coach Wang calls out to him.

Felix wipes his nose off on his sleeve. “Yes, Coach!”

He starts running again to catch up with the other guys, but his nose still tickles. _Oh crap oh crap oh cra-_

Felix sneezes so hard it sends him tumbling backward.

“You okay?” Two hands take him by the arms to lift him to his feet.

“Yeah, thanks.” Felix rubs his nose dry on his shirt. “I just think I’m coming down with a cold or something.”

Jeongin looks worried as he jogs next to Felix. “It’s probably because we got rained on so much the past couple of days.”

“Well I-” Felix sneezes again, but Jeongin catches him. “Thanks.”

“At least you won’t have to go back to school tomorrow if you’re sick.” Jeongin sighs.

Felix grins as he rubs his nose on his sleeve. “I actually _like_ going to school, Yeni.”

Jeongin makes a face. “You’re so weird.”

Felix laughs, but it’s hard to laugh and jog at the same time. “Why don’t you like going to school?”

“Uh, because of _school_?” Jeongin sticks his tongue out. “I hate lectures and homework and having to sit down for the whole freaking day…”

“Don’t you like your teachers?” Felix asks.

“No.”

“Oh.” Felix and Jeongin round the bend in the track. Coach Wang had marked out an oval using twigs, and all of the boys had been lumbering around in circles for the past fifteen minutes. _It looks like NASCAR… but sleepy. _

“Pick up the pace, boys!” Coach Wang says, clapping his hands together urgently.

“Yes, Coach!” Chan’s voice comes from somewhere behind Felix.

Felix just watches Chan overtake him. He’s trying to run faster, but it’s like his legs are lagging, and all he can do is stare angrily at them while they don’t work.

“Coooach the _sun_ isn’t even up yeeeet!” Hyunjoon’s voice comes from somewhere further back.

“If everyone waited for the sun, nothing would get done!” Coach Wang shouts back at him.

“Damn, that’s pretty fucking wise, Coach Wang.” Jisung’s voice carries over.

“Shut up, brown-noser.” Hyunjin’s voice carries.

“_You_ shut up, you…” Jisung raises his voice to add, “PIG-NOSE!”

Hyunjin’s gasp is so loud it echoes into the forest beyond. “You did _not_ just call me-”

A sharp slap echoes from between the two of them.

“Ouch!”

“DIE, BITCH!”

Felix and Jeongin round the bend to find Jisung and Hyunjin slapping each other silly while barely taking a couple steps forward. The entire team starts building up behind them.

“Aw, come on, guys!”

“Move it!”

“Guys-” Chan starts, walking up to them.

Changbin cuts ahead of him and grabs Hyunjin and Jisung by their sleeves.

“Come on.” He growls, practically dragging the other two out of everyone else’s way.

“Th- Thanks, Captain.” Coach Wang says, blinking in surprise.

Changbin just salutes the coach with two fingers before pulling Hyunjin and Jisung along again. The other two keep whining about Changbin being too rough on them, but Changbin just forges forward, ignoring them with a mildly amused look on his face.

Felix feels very, _very _funny inside right now.

“Your new captain’s pretty scary.” Jeongin whispers once they start jogging again.

“Yeah.” Felix bites down on his lower lip to keep himself from smiling. “_Scary_.”

“Thanks again for joining us, Coach Yoo.” Jackson extends a hand to the other coach, who just gives him a deep smirk. Jackson sighs as he draws his hand back to his side. _Why can’t any of these people just behave like normal people?_

“See you at prelims, Coach Wang.” Coach Yoo’s smirk only becomes less kind, if that were even possible. “Pray we don’t crush you guys into the dirt again like we did this weekend.”

“_Crush us into the dirt _my ass.” Jinyoung scoffs, pulling the door to the Weevils’ minibus open “You guys won by a hair.”

Coach Yoo hums, “That’s what losers always say.”

Jinyoung laughs and they slap fives so hard that Jackson feels his own hand tingle a little bit. “Take care on the mountain roads, Coach Yoo.”

“You too, Coach Park.”

Jackson still can’t figure out whether they hate each other or not. He just shakes his head and steps into the minibus. He can count a few bobbing heads and one bobbing butt, thankfully covered by shorts.

“Boys, sit down properly so we can do a headcount.” Jackson frowns at the butt bobbing up over the headrests. “Who’s that?”

“It’s Hyunjin, Coach.” Juyeon says, from where he’s clearly trying to push the bobbing butt free.

“He’s stuck.” Changbin groans, tugging on Hyunjin by his shorts’ belt loops.

“Like Winnie the Pooh.” Hyunjoon adds from where he’s unhelpfully poking Hyunjin’s butt.

Jackson sighs and steps out of the bus. “Jinyoung, your brother’s gotten stuck in the seats somehow.”

“He’ll live.” Jinyoung shrugs in reply, swinging the keys around one finger. “How many more are we waiting for?”

“Just two.” Jackson replies. “Han Jisung and Lee Felix.”

“You might wanna check the Bears’ area for Jisung.”

Jackson frowns. “What? Why?”

“On second thought, don’t go looking for Jisung.” Jinyoung makes a face. “And Felix is probably just taking a piss.”

Felix is not taking a piss. He’s tiptoeing into the kitchen. “Hello?”

Two people turn to him in surprise.

Felix frowns. They’re two youngish people, not that that’s weird, but he hadn’t been expecting them.

“Hi, uh, good afternoon, do you know where the old lady who works here is?” Felix asks, fidgeting with the zipper of his jacket.

“Old lady?” The man asks. He grins as he points to the woman with him. “Her?”

“Hey.” The woman kicks him in the shin before turning to Felix with a sweet, but confused smile. “Sorry, who are you looking for, honey?”

“Um, the old lady… she’s about this tall and all of her hair is white…” Felix holds his hand up just below his ear. “She works here in the kitchen…?”

“Oh.” The woman looks at the man suddenly. Felix doesn’t like the way she’s looking at him. It’s a very _Oh-shit-what-do-we-say-to-him _look. Or rather, a _He-knows-too-much_ look.

“Sorry, kiddo, there’s no one like that who works here.” The man says, though his voice shakes a little.

Felix freezes on the spot. He can’t even form words. “B- Bu- But there w- was an old lady-”

“My husband and I are the only weekend staff here,” The woman says gently, making a timid gesture between herself and the man. “There’s no one else.”

Felix looks from the man to the woman, then back to the man, then to the old, small refrigerator. His brain feels like it’s being stir-fried. _But I saw her… I talked to her… She even _pinched my cheeks_ for fuck’s sake!_

“Is that your bus, kiddo?” The man asks, squinting out of the kitchen’s small window.

Sure enough, the Weevils’ minibus is making a sharp U-turn on the gravel outside.

“Holy crap.” Felix whirls around, unsure of where the exit of the kitchen is all of a sudden.

“This way.” The woman holds the door open for Felix.

“Th- Thank you so much.” Felix dips into a deep bow, knocking his forehead into the countertop with a resounding thud.

“Oh dear, are you all righ-” The woman reaches out to him, but he’s already running for the door.

“Thank you, sorry for bothering you, sorry…”

“Changbin, sit down.” Jisung hisses, tugging on the edge of Changbin’s shirt.

“Felix isn’t here yet.” Changbin flicks Jisung’s hand away.

“Coach Wang’s gonna get pissed at you.” Jisung hisses.

“Do I look like I give a fuck?” Changbin watches Coach Wang frown at his watch for the second time in the past couple of minutes. _Where the hell are you, Felix?_

“We have to make it back by 4 pm.” Coach Wang says tensely.

“We _will._” Coach Park assures him, but he’s gripping the stick shift so tightly his knuckles are going white. They’d agreed to leave the hostel at 1:30 in the afternoon.

Changbin checks his watch. _13:53._

_Shit. _

“I’ll go find him, Coach!” Changbin offers, raising his hand.

“No, sit down. The last thing we need is _two_ people missing.” Coach Wang grumbles.

Changbin doesn’t sit down.

“None of you better keep up this habit once the season starts.” Coach Wang says, glaring at each of the Weevils in turn. “Games don’t wait for-”

“There he is!” Dongpyo bursts out, jumping so high his head bonks into the minibus’ ceiling. He sinks down into his seat when he notices everyone – especially a clearly pissed off Coach Wang – is looking at him. “Sorry.”

Felix, backpack bouncing and fluffy pillow in tow, is running towards the minibus like he’s being chased.

“Sorry, I’m so sorry, sorry,” Felix says over and over again, dipping into apologetic bows like a blade of grass on a windy day.

“Just take your seat so we can go.” Coach Wang says, brushing past Felix to take his seat near the front.

Changbin helps Felix lift his backpack into the overhead shelf, then scoots to the window to give him space.

Felix crumples into the seat with a long-drawn-out sigh.

“Are you okay?”

Felix’s heart is banging around in his chest, and it’s not because Changbin’s looking up at him _that_ way. _Okay, maybe, just a little bit. _

Felix can hardly take a breath. “Wha- What? Sorry.”

Changbin keeps looking up at him weirdly.

Felix frowns.

“What?”

“Your forehead.”

Felix pulls his phone out and flicks the selfie camera on. His forehead’s got a huge red mark on it with an off-center cross from the kitchen counter’s tiles. Felix shuts his eyes. _When am I _not_ going to embarrass myself in front of Changbin, when will I just die-_

“What happened, Felix?” Changbin’s voice is low and gentle and really makes Felix want to die.

Felix sighs as he looks at Changbin. _What am I supposed to do? Tell him that the old lady we hung out with for a _whole_ afternoon doesn’t even fucking exist???_

“Nothing.” Felix says. “I slipped.”

That seems to satisfy Changbin, who turns to the window. “You should be more care…”

Felix stares at the back of Changbin’s head. _Is he really not going to finish the word? Did he fall asleep? Already?_

“Cap?” Felix asks.

Changbin looks back at Felix in complete silence, then turns back to the window.

Felix leans forward to squint out the window. They’ve rounded a bend already, so the hostel is just barely seen through the curtain of trees.

Through the trees, however, there’s a small figure waving in their direction. It’s quite short, probably just a little shorter than Felix, and has a head full of pure-white hair. The old woman seems to see them, even from this distance, and her smile grows wider as she keeps waving at them.

Felix’s breath catches in his throat. “C- Cap… she’s… she’s not-”

“I know.” Changbin says softly.

Felix feels his hands start trembling. “Cap, what the _hell_ is…”

Changbin’s hand closes around Felix’s. “I don’t know.”

Felix’s hand keeps shaking, but he tightens his grip on Changbin’s as the minibus rounds another bend. The hostel and the old woman disappear from view, lost in the dense forest around them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end of this training camp arc! My one true love will always be writing mildly scary shit, anyway back to the normal baseball-y programming again next chapter, which you should expect early January. 😉
> 
> Happy holidays to everyone, whatever you're celebrating this season or even if you don't feel like celebrating at all! Thank you for all of the love and support you've been giving me throughout this series, and I hope you guys like what I have in store for next year. Keep streaming Levanter, Song of the Decade, Song of the Century, Song of the Millennium 🎄💕🥰


	15. Christmas Special: 후디후디 내겐 쉼터 같지 boogie boogie 이어폰 꼽고 dance groovy groovy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know what you may be thinking:
> 
> 1\. You do know that Christmas isn't that big of a deal in Korea, where this fic is supposedly set, right?
> 
> 2\. It's literally January, you missed Christmas big time
> 
> And to those concerns I say, _Fuck that noise_. Get festive, bitches! Enjoy this quite long chapter that has pretty much nothing to do with the plot! Happy 2020!
> 
> Edit 10/03/2020: LMAOOO I TAKE IT BACK, FUCK 2020

“I’m going now. You want anything from Japan?”

Younghoon looks up from the book he’d been reading. His roommate’s standing in the doorway, one suitcase under each arm. _Oh. Right. It’s the holidays. _

“A passing grade in Basic Japanese, maybe?” Younghoon lifts his eyebrows.

His roommate scoffs. “Bitch, if I could buy passing grades…”

“Have a safe trip, dude.” Younghoon uses his book to salute his roommate.

“Thanks.” His roommate looks around their bleak dorm room one more time. “Don’t stay cooped up in here all winter break, okay?”

Younghoon casts one look out the window. It’s quite dark out, but he can still see the flecks of snow blowing against the glass. “In this weather?”

“Go visit your aunt or something.”

“They have their own thing with my uncle’s family.” Younghoon waves a hand dismissively. “So I’m definitely not invited.”

“What about your boy?”

“He and his family are at his aunt’s in the next province for the holidays.” Younghoon says. He gives his roommate a dry grin. “Again, not invited.”

“Well, don’t rot in your self-pity all break.” His roommate sighs. “I’m going now. Happy Holidays, Younghoon.”

“Sure. Holidays.” Younghoon mutters, crossing his legs to prop his book up on them and continue reading.

“Minho, I need your help.”

“No.” Minho doesn’t look away from his vanity mirror, carefully curling his pesky eyelashes out of his goddamned eye. The only, _only_ good thing about having snot-nosed parents like his is that they throw ridiculous holiday parties every year, and Minho gets to dress up for them.

“But _Miiiiinhooooo,_” His sister plants her butt on Minho’s vanity table, knocking some stuff off the opposite edge. “You’re my favorite brother.”

“I’m your _only_ brother, dumb bitch.” Minho says, picking up one of his cologne bottles. He starts spraying it aggressively at his sister like bitch repellent.

“I haven’t gotten dick in two weeks.” Soojin whines, shielding her face from Minho’s cologne with her hands.

“Well boo-hoo.” Minho frowns at his reflection, then picks up eyelash curler to have another go at his eyes. “What do you want me to do about it?”

“Doesn’t your boyfriend have a cute older brother?”

Minho nearly rips off an entire row of eyelashes. _Nearly._ “That’s his _uncle_, you hoe-”

“Even better!”

Jisung’s uncle sneezes, nearly dropping a sack of beans.

“We should be closed during the holidays.” He complains, rubbing his red nose. “Like normal establishments.”

“Exactly.” Jisung’s aunt winks at him, gliding by with two trays of freshly baked cinnamon rolls. “Normal establishments are all closed today, so everyone’s gonna be forced to go _here_.”

“Stonks.” Jisung agrees.

“_Stonks_. Precisely.” Jisung’s aunt echoes, sliding the cinnamon rolls into the display case.

Jisung’s uncle sighs as he grabs an entire handful of tissues to blow his nose. “Who in their right mind would even be out in _this_ weather-”

The bell above the café’s front door chimes.

Jisung drops the mop he’d been holding. “Bro, what are _you_ doing here?”

Jinyoung carries a bowl of stew out of the kitchen, only to find his younger brother staring at the table intently, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist.

“Put some clothes on.” Jinyoung laughs, sliding a pot rest onto the dining table before lowering the stew.

Hyunjin doesn’t budge, like a very confused Michelangelo’s _David_, but with a towel on. The marble statue eventually lifts one hand to count the table settings.

“Who else is coming for dinner?” Hyunjin asks.

Jinyoung sighs. “Mom and Dad.”

“What?” Hyunjin’s face goes through a whole slew of emotions, from excited, to confused again, then to happy, and then relieved, then confused once more.

Jinyoung wishes he could feel any of those things, too. “Go get dressed. They should be here in half an hour.”

Hyunjin skips off to his room like a little kid, accidentally dropping his towel in the middle of the hallway.

“PARK HYUNJIN! PICK THIS UP!” Jinyoung makes a face, kicking at the damp towel.

Seungmin purses his lips. Then he picks up a checker piece and slides it into place.

His grandmother clicks her tongue, sweeping all the pieces off the board with a swipe of her draped sleeve. “Set it up again.”

“Again, Grandmother?” Seungmin says, not sure he’s up for a hundredth game of checkers.

“Yes, Seungmin, are you deaf?” His grandmother snaps her fingers at the nearest maid. “You. Get me some more coffee, now.”

“Yes, Madam.” The maid ducks away quickly.

Seungmin watches her go to the cluster the rest of the maids have formed in the far end of the room, whispering agitatedly with each other. He looks back at his grandmother. “Don’t you worry they might get annoyed and slip something into your coffee?”

“Like what, _urine_?” His grandmother scoffs. “_Arsenic_ couldn’t kill me, Seungmin, what’s a little ammonia going to do?”

Seungmin tries to hold back a smile as he places the last of the checker pieces back on the board. “Less people might try to kill you if you were a little kinder, Grandmother.”

“If I were any _kinder_,” Seungmin’s grandmother rolls her eyes. “I’d already be dead.”

She narrows her eyes at the board for a split second, before using the sleeve of her silk robe to sweep all the pieces off again. “You played white last time, Seungmin.”

“Oh.”

“_Oh._” Seungmin’s grandmother mocks him, but her throat is too rough and dry to make high-pitched noises. “You can’t get anything past me, silly boy.”

“It was worth a shot.” Seungmin says, calmly replacing the pieces on the opposite sides.

His grandmother gives him an affectionate look. “And where have your parents gone for the holidays this time?”

“Greece.” Seungmin replies, placing the last checker piece down. “They brought the babies with them.”

Seungmin’s grandmother arches one carefully penciled eyebrow as she makes her first move. “You didn’t want to see Greece?”

“I do,” Seungmin says. “Just not with them.”

“I’ll take you and Miss Jimin next summer if she’s free.”

Seungmin smiles, making a terrible first move on purpose. “I love you, Grandmother.”

“Shut up.” His grandmother laughs, before breaking into a scowl. “Where is that godforsaken coffee?”

“Here you go.” Jisung lowers a mug of steaming coffee onto the table. “Just a black coffee, right?”

“Yeah.” Changbin smiles at him. “Thanks.”

He takes a deep whiff of the coffee. He can hear Jisung and his aunt whispering furiously in the kitchen – neither of them seem to know how to whisper. _Maybe it’s a family thing. _

“Won’t his parents come looking for him?” Jisung’s aunt hisses loudly. “They’re probably looking for him.”

“No, Auntie, he’s almost eighteen, he’s an adult.” Jisung hisses back loudly.

“But it’s Christmas Eve! Isn’t Changbin Christian?”

“Yeah, but he’s like… _chill_ about it.”

“I’m not Christian but I wouldn’t let my kids wander around halfway across the city on Christmas Eve, not in _this_ weather!”

“He’s a senior, Auntie, he’s not a kid.”

Changbin sees Jisung’s aunt peek through the kitchen door’s window at him.

“He is _definitely _a kid! Have you _seen_ him? The winds could probably take him out!”

“So what do I look like to you, Auntie? A _toddler_?”

“Kinda.”

“Dammit, Auntie, I’m _sixteen_.” Jisung groans.

Changbin goes back to breathing in the steam off his coffee. It’s relaxing, and it makes him wonder if that’s why his parents smoke.

Jisung’s uncle pulls out the chair next to Changbin and sits next to him. “Changbin, right?”

“Yeah.” Changbin says. He’s not about to say that he’s hurt that Jisung’s uncle still doesn’t know him considering how often he hangs out here, but he _is_ a little hurt.

“Are you running away?”

Changbin resists every urge to snort. “No, sir.”

“Do your parents know you’re here?” Jisung’s uncle asks. His brow is furrowed so deeply that it’s as if Changbin’s asking for Jisung’s hand in marriage or something. _Yikes._

“No.” Changbin says. “I told them I was going out to buy a bottle of Coke for dinner.”

“We don’t serve Coke here.”

“I know.” Changbin shrugs. “I _am_ gonna buy the Coke, I’m just taking a detour.”

Jisung’s uncle frowns. “Why?”

“I needed a breath of fresh air.”

“That,” Jisung’s uncle points at the flurry of snow just outside the café’s window. “Is more _blizzard_ than _fresh air_.”

Changbin shrugs again. He’s perfected the irritating teen shrug, the kind that makes his mom want to throw a slipper at him, or makes his homeroom teacher smack the eraser on the board a few times. But maybe Jisung’s uncle’s too much of a millennial to be affected by the Couldn’t-Care-Less Shrug.

“I could give you a lift home.”

“I still have to buy the Coke.” Changbin says. “So, no thanks.”

Jisung’s uncle sighs and leans back in his chair. “I tried to run away when I was your age. It was the holidays, too.”

“What happened?”

“I got cold. Then I got hungry. Then I got mugged.” Jisung’s uncle lets out a self-deprecating chuckle. “So I had to go home again.”

“That’s rough.” Changbin makes a face.

“Life’s rough.” Jisung’s uncle says, taking a thoughtful swig of the coffee on the table in front of him.

Changbin purses his lips. “That’s mine.”

“Oh. Crap.”

Younghoon jolts awake. He’d fallen asleep on his bed with his book still open on his chest.

He lifts the book. _I don’t remember any of this happening._

Younghoon squints at his phone. It’s a quarter past nine, and he still doesn’t have any plans on how to get dinner.

Usually, he’d be dressing up to go down to his mother’s lavish Christmas dinner party. He’d already planned his suit for this year, a rich emerald green one that he’d already bought the fabric for a couple months before he… left home.

Younghoon’s stomach grumbles. Their Christmas dinner parties always had a theme. Three years ago it had been Spanish cuisine, and because of a miscalculation in the guest list, Younghoon had had paella for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next three days with no regrets. Two years ago it had been Japanese, and his father had had a whole team of traditional sushi chefs flown in for the evening. Last year it had been American barbecue, because his father had been entertaining a visiting American general. They’d had someone else flown in just for that, but the chef had been so jetlagged that he’d started a small fire in the South garden. Younghoon smiles just thinking about it.

His stomach grumbles again in protest. _Stop thinking about food we can’t eat. _

Younghoon peels himself off the bed. He opens his closet and rummages around his makeshift pantry beside his folded t-shirts. He’s got two more cans of tuna and one more cup noodle.

His stomach groans. _Not this shit again. _

_Sorry, dude, _Younghoon rubs his stomach. _There’s no way I’m going out in this weather._

He takes the can of tuna and the cup noodle and layers on a pair of sweaters before heading down to the dorm cafeteria.

Which turns out to be completely dark. Even the hot water dispenser had been switched off.

Younghoon, with his tuna and noodles in tow, walks back to the dorm manager’s desk. “Could I borrow an electric kettle?”

The manager makes a face. “You don’t have your own?”

“Aren’t they banned?” Younghoon frowns.

“Oh, yeah, they are, _technically_,” The manager waves his hands. “But you know how it is.”

“No I don’t.” Younghoon says flatly. “Can I borrow a kettle?”

“All I have is a normal kettle and a hot plate.” The manager says.

“Sure.” Younghoon says, trying to figure out whether he knows how to use either of those. He doesn’t. “Can I borrow them?”

“Sure.” The manager nods. Then he frowns. “Oh, do you mean _now_?”

Younghoon shakes his cup of instant noodles. “Yes, now. Please.”

“Oh man, I meant I had them at _home_.” The manager scratches his head. “I could bring them with me when I come back in two weeks.”

“You’re leaving?” Younghoon frowns.

“Yeah.” The manager pats Younghoon gently on the arm. “You sure there’s no one else you can stay with for the break?”

Younghoon’s entire chest hurts, like he’s coming down with consumption or something old and dramatic like that, when he says, “Yeah.”

“Well, the university ghosts will keep you company.” The manager laughs, like that’s funny.

The door flies open suddenly, casting a beam of light on Felix and his dad, who scream their lungs out.

The TV room light flicks on to reveal Felix’s papa carrying two steaming mugs in his hands and a mildly concerned look on his face. “What are you watching?”

“_Hereditary_.” Felix replies, pulling the blanket over his legs up to his chin.

“Well that’s a…” Felix’s papa trails off, staring at the TV screen with growing concern. “Strange choice for Christmas.”

“My friend said it was a family movie.” Felix’s dad says from behind the pillow he’s holding in front of his face.

Felix’s papa suddenly remembers the two mugs in his hands. “Oh! I made hot chocolate. But it didn’t make it to three mugs for some reason… so you guys can have them.”

“Thanks, Pops.” Felix says, gladly turning away from the screen to take one of the mugs off his papa’s hands. 

“We can just share the other one,” Felix’s dad says, patting the space on the couch next to him. He lifts his fleece blanket to let Felix’s papa under it.

“Thanks,” Felix’s papa leaves a quick peck on Felix’s dad’s cheek. Then he gets distracted by the screen. “Oh. Oh god.”

Felix’s dad, still with the pillow in front of his face, takes a sip of the hot chocolate. “Merry Christmas, babe.”

“Can we watch a different movie?”

“Yes.”

“Yes please.”

“_An American Tail?_”

Felix and his dad nod aggressively, eyes covered.

Jeongin crosses his arms over to hug himself. It’s freezing out, and this thing his grandma’s house calls heating isn’t anywhere _near_ lukewarm.

The door to the side of the house slides open, but Jeongin doesn’t turn around. He just keeps pouting at his grandma’s vegetables in the dark, his lower lip trembling from the cold.

“Hey there big guy,” Jeongin’s mom slides down to dangle her legs over the edge of the porch next to him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Jeongin twists his body to face away from her.

“You can’t fool me, Jeongin, I’ve known you since you were born.” His mom tilts her head to one side thoughtfully. “Since _before_ you were born, actually. Since you were an _egg_, even-”

“I’m fine, Mommy, you can go back inside.” Jeongin insists.

His mom puts one arm around his shoulders and rests her head on top of his. She doesn’t need to tilt her head all that much to do so, which makes her chuckle. “You’re getting too tall for me to do this. Soon we’re going to have to do it the other way around.”

Jeongin tries to stay firm, pouting at the vegetable garden he can’t see, but with his mom leaning against him like this, and the cold biting at his nose, he can hardly do anything but sniffle.

“Ah, Jeonginnie, what’s wrong?” His mom asks in a softer voice, putting her other arm around Jeongin to wrap him in a hug.

Jeongin’s determined pout cracks, and he looks up at his mom with a wobbly pout. “It’s stupid.”

“Trust me, baby, no problem is stupid to me.” Jeongin’s mom says, rocking him in her arms like he isn’t almost taller than her. “What is it?”

“Nobody cares about me anymore.”

“What?”

Jeongin frowns. “Everyone just cares about Yuna.”

Jeongin’s mom is silent for some time, until Jeongin feels her arms shaking around him. At first he’s worried that she’s crying, but then he looks up and finds her chewing on her lip to stop herself from laughing out loud.

“_Mommy!_”

“Sorry, sorry,” Jeongin’s mom rubs his back affectionately. “It’s just so funny you’re jealous of your sister.”

“I’m not jealous of her! I don’t want to be a baby!” Jeongin shakes his mom off and folds his arms. “I get that grandma and everyone else haven’t met her yet, but _hello_? I’m still here! It’s like Yuna’s born and suddenly I died – No, if I died, all of you would at least be crying over me! It’s like I just disappeared! _Mommy, stop laughing!_”

“I’m sorry, baby,” Jeongin’s mom pulls him into a bear hug. “I really am sorry you felt that way.”

“_Felt_ that way? It _is_ that way.” Jeongin grumbles, but he does rest his cheek on his mom’s collarbone. His mom’s a little bit on the bony side, but he finds it comforting, for some reason. “Nobody even cared that I’ve been out here for hours.”

“You haven’t been out here for twenty minutes,” His mom corrects him. “But your lips are starting to go blue, so you better go back inside.”

Jeongin shakes his head.

His mom pulls him closer, burying her face in his spiky hair, no matter how itchy it is.

“You know, our hearts aren’t so small that we have to choose between you and Yuna.” Jeongin’s mom whispers into his hair. “We love you equally, but in different ways. It’d be stupid if we treated you the same way we treated the baby.”

“Yeah.”

“And you’ll always be special to us, Jeonginnie,” Jeongin’s mom says. “You changed our lives.”

Jeongin pulls away from the hug to frown at her. “I made you drop out of school.”

“Well,” Jeongin’s mom shrugs. “That was pretty bad, but in the end, I wouldn’t have my life any other way.”

Jeongin’s frown deepens. “Really?”

“Yes,” Jeongin’s mom laughs, slapping him on the arm. “_Really_.”

The door slides open again. “Miss Rose!” Jeongin’s grandmother calls out like she’s talking to someone acres away. “Where is my Jeongin!”

Jeongin’s mom helps him to his feet and gives him a little push towards the door. “Here he is, Mom!”

Jeongin stumbles over. “Why, Grandma?”

Jeongin’s grandma grabs him by the sleeve, pretending to make a motion to slap him on the head. “You haven’t finished your soup!”

Jisung and his aunt looks up guiltily from their Scrabble game on Jisung’s phone when the kitchen door opens.

“Oh.” Jisung’s aunt tucks some hair behind her ear in what she thinks is a professional way. “Are there are customers?”

“No. Probably because I’ve turned the sign to ‘Closed’.” Jisung’s uncle says.

“Why would you do that?” His sister squeaks.

“Because we’re closed.” Jisung’s uncle reaches for a set of keys hanging on a wall with all their winter coats. “Jisung, I’m driving your friend home.”

“Oh, good.” Jisung sighs.

“Next time, you talk your own friends out of running away.” Jisung’s uncle says, plucking his winter coat off the rack.

“Me? Convince Changbin to do anything?” Jisung snorts. “Over my dead body.”

“I don’t think that’s how that phrase works.” His aunt says gently.

“Whatever.” Jisung’s uncle grumbles. “Either of you want to come along for the ride? The snow’s let up, so it’ll be a nice drive.”

“Oh, uh,” Jisung looks at his aunt, who heaves a big sigh, but nods her approval. “Minho’s inviting us to a party at his house.”

“Us?” Jisung’s uncle frowns.

“Yeah. All of us.” Jisung clarifies.

From the furrow in Jisung’s uncle’s brow, nothing has been clarified. “What?”

“Just be out with it.” Jisung’s aunt says. She nudges her brother pointedly. “Minho’s sister wants to meet you.”

“Minho’s _sister_? Why the fuck does-”

“She’s a senior at university. Who’s recently single.” Jisung assures his uncle. He pulls up a photo from Minho’s Instagram of him and his sister. “And she’s uh, very hot.”

“Oh. I see.” Jisung’s uncle nods slowly. “Okay, I’m down.”

“You’re _disgusting_.” Jisung’s aunt says, but she’s reaching for her coat.

“Interesting way to pronounce ‘desperate and lonely,’ my dear sister.” Jisung’s uncle laughs, tossing Jisung his coat.

They push the kitchen door to find the café completely empty. The bell above the door is still chiming softly, and the door’s swinging slightly like it’s just been closed, but they can’t see anyone on the sidewalk outside.

“Oh god.” Jisung tugs at the ends of his too-long hair. “We lost Changbin.”

Chan wiggles out from under his sleeping brothers. He tiptoes around them as he tucks them gently under the covers to their chins. Then he reaches for his phone, which is plugged into the wall socket. He’s just crept out into the hallway when he notices a small silhouette at the opposite end, lit from the back by the dim kitchen lights.

“What are you doing?” The small voice from the small silhouette asks.

“Go back to sleep, Miya.”

His sister walks up to him, peering at the phone in Chan’s hand. “Are you going to call Younghoon-oppa?”

“N-” Chan decides it’s useless to lie to his sister. “Yes, I am.”

“Why are you doing it in secret?” Miya crosses her arms. “Everyone in the family knows about him anyway. Also you should’ve brought him-”

“It’s hard to explain.” Chan sighs. He just barely stops himself from adding something like, _You’ll understand when you’re older._

“Try. I get things quickly anyway.”

_Yeah, you do. Which is the problem. _Chan sighs internally. He feels like Miya’s IQ is double his, if not triple, and it’s getting harder and harder to deal with the older she gets.

“It’s a big deal when you bring the person you’re dating to meet the whole family and stuff.” Chan says. “Well, for our family it is, at least.”

“Why?”

“It means you’re going to get married soon.”

“Oh.” Miya’s shoulders sag. “And you and Younghoon-oppa can’t.”

“Yeah, it’s-” Chan chortles midsentence. “Miya, of _course_ we can’t, we’re _way too young_!”

“And it’s not legal in our country.”

“Oh. Right.” Chan runs a hand through his hair self-consciously. “I forgot about that.”

“So why do you have to call Younghoon-oppa in secret?”

“Because…” Chan takes a deep breath. _Do I say it? What am I planning to say, anyway? What? _“…we’re going to talk about secret stuff.”

It’s very dark in the hallway, but Chan can feel his sister blinking up at him in that judging way. “Is it kissing stuff?”

Chan groans in defeat. “Yes, Miya, we’re going to talk about kissing stuff. Because we can’t see each other for the holidays.”

“Okay. Send him hugs and kisses from me and Chae.” Miya nods as if she understands everything. Chan is afraid that she might.

“Will do.” Chan says. “Good night, Miya.”

“Good night, oppa.”

The second Miya closes the bedroom door behind her, Chan steps out of the house. The cell reception in the house is absolute garbage, and all around, so he’s really putting life and limb at risk climbing onto the house’s roof just to call his boyfriend and say,

“Hey there sexy.”

Younghoon’s exasperated sigh on the other end of the call is worth everything. “I haven’t had anything to eat yet, Chan, I’m too hungry feel sexy.”

“Oh no.” Chan finds himself frowning. “Why not?”

“The cafeteria’s closed, there isn’t even any hot water, and – oh fucking---”

A loud rustle cuts Younghoon off.

“You okay? Younghoon? Babe?” Chan shakes his phone, hoping that fixes things. “Younghoon?”

The rustling stops, and Younghoon’s heavy breaths come back on. “Yeah, I’m just walking.”

“Walking? To where?”

“Somewhere to eat, I don’t know.” Younghoon sighs. “Is it bad that I thought about going home _just_ for the dinner?”

“No.” Chan says. “It’s natural to be hungry.”

“Of course.” Younghoon’s laugh sends warm tingles down to Chan’s toes. “I asked the wrong person.”

“So where are you going? Are Auntie Rose and everyone still at Uncle Jaehyun’s mom’s place?”

“Yeah.”

“I…” Chan drums his fingers on the galvanized iron under him. “I wish you could be here.”

“I wish I could- What’s that noise?”

“The roof.”

There’s a long pause, which Chan takes advantage of to listen to Younghoon’s breathing.

“Bang Chan, are you on _top_ of your aunt’s house?”

Chan laughs nervously. “Ha ha, would you rather I were on top of… _you_?”

“Bang Chan.” Younghoon says sternly. “Get down from there.”

Chan’s about to explain the whole cell reception situation, then he frowns. “What about you? Where are you?”

“I’m stopping for a breath at the lookout point.”

“Kim Younghoon, if you slip and die on that stupid mountain road…” Chan huffs. “I will die too.”

“That’s very _Romeo and Juliet _of you.”

“Who’s Juliet?” Chan asks, leaning back against the roof to look up at the stars. The view from back home is already pretty clear, but here, it’s like they’ve got a whole other million stars they don’t have back home.

“You are, definitely.” Younghoon laughs.

Chan could get used to this. _Cold metal roof under my back. Younghoon’s soft laugh in my ear._ _My butt freezing off. My butt is ice. _

“Younghoon, my butt is freezing off.”

“Oh dear. We can’t have that.”

“I think I’m going to have to hang up soon.”

“Let me guess, the only reception over there is on the roof.”

Chan’s heart skips a beat. “You’re so smart, you know that?”

“No, you’re just easily impressed. Unlike my Japanese professor.” Younghoon sighs. “I miss you, Bang Chan.”

“I miss you, too.” Chan says, bracing himself with one hand as he crawls towards the side of the roof leading to the trellis he’d climbed up on. “Text me when you have dinner, okay?”

“I will.” Younghoon huffs and seems to stamp his feet.

“Take care, okay? Try to keep warm.” Chan says, his brow creasing with worry.

“I will.”

“I love you, Younghoon.” Chan says, and with his whole heart he curses the stupid cellphone-making dudes over at Apple and Samsung and China that they haven’t made a phone that would let him kiss his lonely, hungry boyfriend over a call.

“I love you more, Chan.”

Chan pouts. “It’s not a competition.”

“That’s what losers say.” Younghoon laughs, before hanging up.

Chan’s left on the edge of the roof with his breath taken away again, as usual, even though he knows Younghoon’s not even trying. _Maybe that’s why I like him so much. _

Chan climbs down the trellis, dropping himself gently into one of his aunt’s shrubs.

“Chan?”

“O- Oh. Hi dad.”

Chan’s dad, one sweaty bottle of beer in hand, offers Chan another. “What were you doing up there?”

“That’s the only place where I can make calls.”

“Ah.” Chan’s dad turns his beer around in his hand thoughtfully. “Younghoon.”

“He’s all-” Chan uses his teeth to crack the cap off his beer. “He’s all by himself over there, Dad.”

“We don’t have space here for him.”

“He won’t mind, Dad.” Chan almost laughs at his dad’s worried look. “He’s not… like that anymore.”

“I’m not saying anything about him, son, I just don’t think anyone should have to deal with your uncle’s farts in close quarters.”

Chan laughs. “Uncle’s farts are still better than being alone.”

Chan’s dad shrugs. “I just don’t want my son losing a perfectly decent boyfriend over my cousin’s crappy digestive tract.”

Chan sputters his beer out onto the shrubs. “_Dad!_”

Hyunjin’s calmly putting on his favorite fuzzy maroon socks when he gasps. _Oh shit!_

“Hyuuuuung!” Hyunjin yells, padding down the hallway in his socks.

His brother’s adjusting the cutlery on the table for what seems like the thousandth time. “What?”

“We don’t have presents for Mom and Dad!”

“Well,” His brother nudges a plate. “They didn’t tell us early enough that they were coming. And besides-”

“I’ll find something!” Hyunjin says, before dashing up the hallway again.

He grabs the mess under his desk by the armful, spreading it out onto the floor. _There’s a nice mug from Tzuyu here somewhere… Or a shirt. Are Dad and I the same size? What size is Dad these days anyway?_

Jinyoung watches his brother dart between their rooms. One time he’s carrying scissors in a completely unsafe way. The next he’s carrying two giant rolls of wrapping paper. And the next he’s carrying rolls of tape around his wrists.

He looks down at the dinner table. He’s cooked too much, which is, as things go, predictable. _Mom and Dad don’t even eat much. _

_If they ever arrive. _

Jinyoung’s just reached for his phone when it starts ringing. _Speak of the devil._

But the caller ID reads, _Kang Younghyun_.

Jinyoung makes a quick mental inventory of all the things he owes people. He can’t remember any debts to his old team/roommate, so he picks up. “Hey.”

“Hey Jinyoung, sorry to bother you. Are you busy right now?”

Jinyoung looks at the food on the table, which is quickly getting cold. “No.”

“Oh, good, because we’ve got a bit of an emergency – Wait, sorry, I’m driving right now, so I’m gonna hand you over to Jisung.”

Jinyoung had almost forgotten they were related, but Jisung’s loud voice in his ear reminds him soon enough.

“COACH! WE LOST CHANGBIN!”

“What… the fuck?”

“CHANGBIN WAS AT THE CAFÉ AND UNCLE WAS SUPPOSED TO BRING HIM HOME BUT THEN HE VANISHED BUT ALSO HIS LEGS ARE PRETTY SHORT SO HE CAN’T HAVE GOTTEN THAT FAR-”

At this point Jinyoung realizes that Hyunjin’s watching him curiously, carrying one badly-wrapped present under each arm.

“Okay, okay, calm down, Jisung.” Jinyoung sighs. He wishes Changbin would just stay in one place, like he used to. “We’ll help you find him.”

He hangs up and turns to Hyunjin. “Changbin’s wandering around or something, we’ve got to go get him.”

“But what if Mom and Dad arrive while we’re out?”

Jinyoung sighs. “You can stay here, then. I’ll go out and find Changbin.”

Hyunjin’s mouth wobbles into a very confused W. Jinyoung can almost _see_ the scales tipping in his brother’s head: _Mom and Dad or Changbin? Changbin or Mom and Dad?_

Jinyoung wishes the decision were that difficult for him, too. But he reaches for the keys and opens the front door.

Only to find a dark, sullen-looking creature sitting beside their welcome mat like an emo gnome.

Jinyoung taps the figure on the shoulder. “Changbin?”

Changbin looks up. He’s a bit damp from the snow, but otherwise, he looks fine. “Oh good, I was starting to think I was at the wrong house.”

“We have a doorbell, you know.” Jinyoung helps the boy to his feet. “We’re not _that_ destitute_._”

Changbin laughs. “Yeah, I know.”

Jisung’s uncle tries to look at Jisung through the rearview mirror, because his nephew’s texting so quickly on _his_ phone that he’s worried the screen might crack.

“They found Changbin.” Jisung says. “He’s at their place.”

“Thank god.” Jisung’s aunt sighs, finally letting go of the door handle she’d been clutching.

Jisung’s uncle heaves an even bigger sigh. “I wanted my holidays to be exciting, but not like _this_.”

“Yeah.” Jisung’s aunt says. “I’m beat.”

“Let’s go home?” Jisung’s uncle says. “There are still all those sandwiches in the café-”

“What about Minho’s party?” Jisung asks, bouncing in his seat. “Minho’s _sister_?”

“Oh man.” Jisung’s uncle sighs.

“She won’t like your uncle like this anyway.” Jisung’s aunt says, reaching over to ruffle her brother’s hair. “Tell the poor girl this old guy needs to recharge, maybe till New Year’s Eve.”

“’Kay.” Jisung's already typing out a _Sorry babe my uncle and aunt are tiredddd maybe next year??? _To Minho when he suddenly yells from the backseat.

His uncle pulls over to a stop at the side of the road. "Han Jisung what the hell-"

"That's Bang Chan's boyfriend!" Jisung says, pointing at a bundled-up, hardly recognizable figure walking down the sidewalk outside the café.

"Congratulations." Jisung's uncle sighs exasperatedly.

Jisung's aunt elbows him over the console. "What's he doing walking around by himself at this time?"

"Dunno, but he got kicked out of his house last year, maybe he's got nowhere to go." Jisung says.

Jisung's uncle turns to find both his sister and his nephew pouting at him. "Why are there so many stray boys running around tonight?" He grumbles.

Younghoon notices the car across the street stall for some time, which is weird enough. He sees it make an illegal U-turn, and since he's the only person on the sidewalk, he figures they must be after him.

His first thought is, _Do they know that I'm dirt broke now? And there's no point in kidnapping me?_

And his second thought is, _If they fucking try me I might just eat them. _

Younghoon's laughing to himself when the car pulls up and rolls down its back window.

"Kim Younghoon!"

Younghoon stops laughing and frowns at the little head stuck out the window like a puppy's. "Han Jisung?"

"The one and only," Jisung grins. "Wanna have dinner with us?"

"Hold on a second." The man driving the car says, turning around to frown at Jisung. "We don't have any dinner-"

"We have some cinnamon rolls." The woman in the passenger's seat offers.

"No thanks, I'll-" But before Younghoon can finish declining joining them for the dinner they apparently don't have, Jisung says,

"The Parks have dinner!"

The man in the front seat lifts his eyebrows. "You make a good point."

The woman sighs. "Oh come on, we can't do this to Jinyoung."

Hyunjin leaps out of his seat and flies to the front door when the doorbell rings.

He flings the door open. "Mom-!"

"Bitch do I _look_ like your mom?" Jisung scoffs.

Hyunjin shuts the door on his face and turns around. "Hyuuuuuuung!"

Jinyoung comes running, still holding two potholders. "Yeah?"

"Jisung's entire clan is here."

"What."

"Jisung-"

"I actually heard you, I just don't understand..." Jinyoung peeks out of the peephole. He looks back at his brother with a curious expression, then opens the door. "Hi."

"Merry Christmas." Jisung's uncle says.

"You too." Jinyoung says vaguely, frowning at the tall boy brooding some steps behind Jisung and his aunt and uncle. "Hi Younghoon."

"Hi Coach Park."

"Do you guys wanna come inside or do you wanna just freeze out there?" Jinyoung asks, but Hyunjin pulls on his sweater sleeve.

"But Mom and Dad are coming." Hyunjin hisses urgently.

"It’s okay, Hyunjin.” Jinyoung says, stepping inside to let Jisung’s ‘entire clan’ and Younghoon into the house. Hyunjin fidgets around the entire time that they’re shaking the cold and their coats off.

“Hyung.” Hyunjin pulls his brother aside once almost everyone’s cramped on the Parks’ tiny sofa.

“What is it?” Jinyoung whispers back.

“Changbin?” Younghoon asks as soon as he enters the living room.

“Oh, hey.” Changbin says with a casual wave and no further explanation.

“Not to be mean,” Hyunjin says, his eyes darting towards the people assembled in their living room for no good reason on Christmas Eve. “But they can’t all be here when Mom and Dad arrive.”

“Hyunjin…” Jinyoung runs a hand through his hair, messing up whatever product he’d put in there.

“We can’t stay here for dinner,” Jisung’s aunt whispers gently to her brother.

“Jinyoung’s stolen so much from me, the least I can get back is some dinner.” Her brother whispers not-so-gently back.

“How are we going to explain them being here to Mom and Dad?” Hyunjin asks in a frantic whisper. “And what if there’s not enough food-”

“Hyunjin-”

“Are your parents looking for you already?” Jisung’s aunt asks Changbin, tilting her head towards him.

Changbin flips his phone in his hands. “Nope.”

“Oh.” Jisung’s aunt folds her hands in her lap.

“And the food’s starting to get cold,” Hyunjin says, looking at the table. “Maybe we could start heating it up again-”

“Hyunjin,” Jinyoung says, pulling his brother away into the hallway. “Listen to me.”

“Don’t worry, Changbin,” Jisung’s uncle says, patting Changbin’s pointy little knee in its dark jeans. “It gets better with parents the older you get.”

Changbin only stares blankly back at him.

“Not always.” Younghoon says softly.

“Uncle, I’m saying this for your own good,” Jisung says. “Please shut up.”

“Mom and Dad aren’t coming home this year.” Jinyoung says, and he’s lowered his voice by a _lot_, but the entire living room had fallen silent at that exact moment.

Hyunjin stands there, still as a statue, for an entire minute.

Jinyoung can see out of the corner of his eye that everyone on the couch is looking their way, but he just sighs and adds, “They missed their flight and decided not to book another one.”

“Why didn’t you tell me.” Hyunjin says, his face still completely blank.

“They didn’t tell _me_ until just a few minutes ago.” Jinyoung says, shaking his phone. “You know how they are-”

“No! They’re not like that, why do you always have to talk about them like that!”

“They _are_ like that, Hyunjin, they always have been!”

“Maybe to you, but not to me!”

“They’re like that to everyone, Hyunjin, you shouldn’t expect-”

“Why can’t I expect my parents to come home for the holidays when they say they will!”

“Because they’re assholes!”

“Don’t! Say! That! About! Them!”

All this time, Jisung’s aunt and uncle have been herding the boys to the door, quietly handing everyone their winter coats and boots. Jisung’s aunt is already holding the door open, waving everyone out like a sort of traffic enforcer, when Jinyoung shouts, “Park Hyunjin! Go to your room!”

“YOU AREN’T MY DAD!” Hyunjin shouts back, before slamming himself into his room anyway.

“Okay, time to get the fuck out of here.” Jisung’s uncle swears under his breath, dragging his nephew out of the apartment with his bootlaces only half-tied.

Jisung’s aunt closes the door behind them, panting heavily as she leans against it. “Is everyone out here?”

“No.” Changbin says.

“Oh shit.” Jisung groans.

“Coach Park.” Younghoon’s standing by the door, holding the coat and boots that had been handed back to him.

“What!”

Younghoon lets that slide. The coach has been shouting at his brother for some time now, maybe he’s just having a hard time turning his Shouting Mode off again. Or, at least, that’s what it’s like for Younghoon once he gets pissed off.

“Sorry.” Coach Park sighs, settling on the nearest barstool like he’s winded.

“It’s okay.” Younghoon says, putting his boots and coat back in their respective racks. He walks over to sit on the other barstool. “You know it’s not a bad thing Hyunjin stands up for your parents like he does.”

“They’re assholes, Younghoon.” Coach Park says.

“I believe you.” Younghoon says, reaching for a beer can on the kitchen counter, only to find it empty. “Damn it.”

“I used that one for the stew.” Coach Park says. “There are more in the fridge.”

“Good. Do you want one?” Younghoon asks, sliding off his barstool. “I’m guessing you want one.”

“Yes please. Is this a Crappy Parents’ Kids Support Group meeting now?” Coach Park sighs. Younghoon watches him in the reflection of the refrigerator door. The coach’s slightly wavy reflection looks at Hyunjin’s closed, and probably locked door wistfully. “Hyunjin’s idea of our parents is so messed-up because he was so young when they left. I mean, he still _is_ so young.”

“Yeah, probably.” Younghoon grabs two beers from a worrying number of cans in the tiny refrigerator and hands one to the coach. “But I think you need lies like that in your head while growing up.”

Coach Park’s just taken a sip of his beer. He lowers it and says, “What the fuck?”

“Sometimes it’s better that you don’t see how rotten and awful the people you trust really are.” Younghoon says. “There are good lies.”

“That’s the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard."

“Like Santa.”

“Yes, exactly.” Coach Park laughs. “That’s another of the biggest loads of bullshit-”

“No, I meant the lies that help you growing up. It’s like believing in Santa. There’s no real point to it.” Younghoon says. “But it gives the holidays a structure and meaning that people need when they’re young.”

Coach Park takes another sip of his beer. “Are you taking a Psych class?”

“Yeah, I took one last semester.” Younghoon grins. “Is it that obvious?”

“Very.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Coach Park sighs. “You’re probably right. I’ll realize it tomorrow when I’m not fucking exhausted from cooking a four-course meal for jerks who won’t even show up.”

“About that,” Younghoon starts, punctuated with a loud growl from his empty stomach.

Younghoon wakes up the next morning to the soft light of the sun filtering through a gentle fall of snow. He’s curled up under the covers of a strange bed next to a big, broad window probably four times the size of his dorm room window.

It takes a second for him to realize where he is, but he’s too full from dinner last night to be worried about it. He’d ended up at Coach Park’s apartment, had a four-course meal for _absolutely nothing_ out of his dwindling monthly budget, and been given Hyunjin’s room and pajamas to sleep in. He mentally ranks this Christmas his second favorite of recent memory, second only to that really good Japanese dinner they’d had two years ago.

Younghoon smiles to himself and pulls the covers up. Hyunjin’s mattress is thinner than Younghoon’s in the dorm, but this room feels more like a home than a university student prison cell, and even though his spine is aching from the wooden slats under Hyunjin’s paper-thin mattress, Younghoon still smiles.

He hears the Park brothers waking up in the next room, already arguing about breakfast, though it’s the casual, friendly sort of arguing Younghoon and his roommate get into. _I guess brothers are like roommates for life._

The doorbell chimes, followed by a series of frantic knocks.

Younghoon sits up in bed, but the Park brothers are already running down the hallway, shouting about the other being fat and slow.

Whoever’s at the door knocks again, louder this time.

“Coming, coming!” Coach Park shouts, while Hyunjin laughs like a drunk dolphin.

Jisung’s family had brought Changbin home the night before, but the weather had gotten worse right after they’d left. Younghoon hopes nothing bad had happened to them.

“Younghoon!” Coach Park’s voice echoes through the apartment.

Younghoon pushes the duvet off and walks gingerly to the door. He opens it and frowns at Coach Park, pointing at himself like, _Me?_

Then he looks past the coach and his brother, where someone’s shaking off a snow-covered coat. He’s bent over, shaking snow out of his hair like a dog, but Younghoon would recognize him anywhere.

“What are you doing here?” Younghoon asks, waking over with a silly smile spreading across his face.

Chan straightens up with an even goofier smile on. “Merry Christmas, Younghoon!”

Younghoon breaks into a run past the Park brothers and tackles Chan in a hug.

Chan dips Younghoon in his arms and gives him a long, deep kiss.

“Aww,” Hyunjin gasps, clasping his hands together.

Then Younghoon grabs Chan’s face and starts sucking on his lips.

“Ooooooookay, time to leave.” Coach Park says, putting one hand over his brother’s eyes as he leads him away from the other two. “Merry Christmas to us, I guess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter originally ended with a hug, but my dear sister and only editor demanded a makeout. Sorry to the Park brothers.
> 
> DAMN RIGHT IM UR ONLY EDITOR – my sister
> 
> bitch this is not what i'm not paying you to do - me


	16. Sportsball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FINE this is a baseball au again
> 
> I know the baseball season follows rules and whatever the time of year it is in this fic is DEFINITELY not it, so we’re deep into the Fantasy genre at this point LMAO
> 
> Let's goooo!

_A few weeks later_

“First game of the season?” Changbin’s dad asks, rubbing his eyes. He peels himself off the couch and reaches for his phone, but his hand just knocks into a couple of empty beer bottles.

“Yeah.” Changbin hands his father his phone from the kitchen counter. “Here it is.”

“Thanks.” Changbin’s dad unlocks his phone with his eyes still shut. “What time did your mom say she’ll be back today?”

“9pm.” Changbin shouts from the kitchen, where he’s filling a canteen with water.

Changbin’s dad finally stands up with a series of loud cracks. “Need a lift to your game?”

“No thanks, Dad, I’ll take the bus.”

“I can pick you up afterwards.” Changbin’s dad says. “Been a while since we went out for lunch.”

“Yeah. It has.” Changbin says, screwing the lid of the canteen a little rougher than he’d intended to. “I can just take the bus going home, Dad.”

“No, no, I’ll pick you up.” Changbin’s dad stretches an arm over his head and groans. “We’ll do the quality time thing. It’ll be a quality time day.”

Changbin tucks his canteen into his backpack.

“Okay.” He says, though he’s not entirely convinced.

“Are you sure you don’t want us to watch?”

Felix looks up at his Pops, who looks like he desperately wants to go to the game. Felix wishes he could bring his parents to games like any of the other guys, but he feels like that’d just make things _worse_.

“We’re not about to ruin the Christians’ Sunday morning, Matt.” Felix’s dad chuckles, hugging Felix’s papa from behind.

“They don’t have to know we’re gay.” Felix’s papa pouts. “We can just pretend we’re his totally-not-married-to-each-other uncles!”

“Cute.” Felix’s dad laughs as he plants a peck on his husband’s cheek. He hands Felix a brown paper bag from the kitchen counter. “I packed you snacks.”

“I thought you were picking me up for lunch.” Felix frowns.

“Oh, yeah, we will.” Felix’s papa assures him, turning to his husband with a frown just like Felix’s. “So what are the snacks for?”

“If he gets hungry during the game, duh.” Felix’s dad says.

“Dad, I can’t…”

“Jae, nobody snacks in the middle of games.” Felix’s papa says.

Felix’s dad throws his hands up in the air. “Well, how am I supposed to know what goes on in sportsball?”

“Dad.” Felix sighs. “It’s baseball.”

“You should probably bring Felix to the stadium now.” Felix’s papa says. “He can’t be late for his _sportsball_ match.”

“Shut up.” Felix’s dad grumbles, picking up the car keys from a dish by the door. “Come on, Felix.”

“Bye, Pops.” Felix tiptoes to kiss his papa on the cheek.

“Good luck.” Felix’s papa says. “Make them eat dirt.”

“Will do, Pops.” Felix grins at him before picking up his duffel bag.

Chan hears his teammates before he sees them. _They’re like that usually, but the sounds they’re making today…_

Younghoon, who’d been trailing behind Chan, stops to tug on Chan’s waistband. “What’s going on?” He asks.

“Dunno.” Chan frowns.

“You should probably check it out.” Younghoon says. “I’ll go find a seat.”

“Okay.” Chan nods. Then he sneaks a kiss on Younghoon’s surprised smile. “I’ll see you later.”

“See you.” Younghoon says, leaning against the bleachers with a self-satisfied grin on his face.

Chan jogs over to where his teammates are wailing loudly. _The match hasn’t even started yet, so what…_

“The new uniforms are here.” Coach Park says, his voice completely devoid of emotion.

“Great!” Chan says, but one look at the guys around him is making him think maybe something… did not… turn out right.

“Here’s yours, Cap- I mean, Chan.” Jisung hands him a brown paper parcel. Jisung’s wearing a long hoodie over his new uniform for some reason.

Chan tries ripping the paper, but it’s been wrapped in so many layers of packaging tape that he’s got to pick at it with his really short fingernails for some time. He can’t lie, he’s excited to see it. He, Jisung, and Changbin had spent an entire afternoon in Jisung’s aunt’s café working on the new uniform’s design. Since the school didn’t have any _actual_ official colors, they’d decided on a plain red and white.

_“There’s no going wrong with red and white.” Changbin had said. _

_“We’ll look like candy canes.” Jisung had said. _

_“_You_ will, maybe.” Changbin had scowled. “_We_ won’t, right, Chan?”_

_“Yeah. Red and white’s good.” Chan had nodded. “We can wear it all the way to Christmas-”_

_“God fucking damn it.” Changbin had muttered, beginning to fold up the papers. “Whatever, I’m submitting this to Coach.”_

_“You’re the captain, Changbin, it’s up to you in the end.” Chan had said._

_Changbin had almost smiled._

Chan smiles at the memory._ It feels like ages ago. _

He’s only just torn through the packaging tape when he realizes what’s wrong. “This is not red.”

“No.” Coach Park says dryly. “It is not.”

“I’m not wearing this.” Changbin says, holding his new jersey in a fist.

“I wouldn’t if I were you.” Coach Park says, frowning at the jersey.

“What? I think it’s pretty cute.” Hyunjin says, grinning down at his own jersey.

“Is this your fault?” Changbin narrows his eyes at the younger Park.

“Change into your uniform, Captain.” Coach Wang says, frowning down at Changbin’s fatigue green shirt. “The match is about to start. Where’s Felix?”

Changbin groans.

“Ooh, who’s _that_?” Felix’s dad asks, waggling his eyebrows. He’s still got his foot on the gas, but he’s not really looking at the road, again.

“Dad, what- Oh.” Felix follows his dad’s line of sight to someone standing behind the bleachers up ahead. It’s Changbin, and he’s just pulled his shirt over his head. Felix can only mumble out, “That’s our captain.”

Felix's dad squawks as he hits the brakes. “You didn’t tell me your Changbin was built like _that_.”

“He’s not _my_ Changbin, Dad, please don’t call him that.” Felix cups his hand over his nose like he’s yawning, but really, he’s just hiding his strawberry-red face from his dad. _He’s gonna tell Papa, then I’m never gonna hear the end of it. _

“But you two are like, a _thing_, right?”

_Dumbass Felix, you shouldn’t have told them everything. _Felix groans and squishes one warm cheek against the cool window. _You need real friends to tell these things to, not just your dads._

“No, Dad, we’re not a “thing,” whatever that is.” Felix says, turning to his father with as serious an expression as his bright pink face can muster. “Please don’t act weird.”

“He can’t even hear us!” Felix’s dad waves a hand at Changbin, who seems to be whistling while he changes his shirt up ahead.

“ByeDadloveyouseeyoulater.” Felix pecks his dad on the cheek before dashing out of the car.

“Felix!” Felix’s dad watches his son run up to the captain, his face completely red, but not from running. Felix’s dad makes a mental note to tell his husband about that later.

“Hey.” Changbin says, halfway through doing up his buttons when he sees Felix coming over. “Game’s about to start. You should probably get yours.”

“My… what?”

“Jersey.”

“Who?”

If Changbin hadn’t known better, he’d have guessed that Felix was stoned. “Your new uniform, Felix.”

“Oh. Yes.” Felix nods vaguely as he walks on ahead. “Yes. Correct.”

Changbin laughs.

“I know the new uniforms are not exactly… what we had in mind.” Coach Wang says, using one hand to shield the glare from the jerseys huddled around him. “But let’s look at this positively. Don’t let it affect our game.”

“We can blind the other team if we just… BAM!” Jisung jumps and stretches his arms out in a T, catching all the early morning sunlight.

“Please don’t do that. Ever again.” Coach Wang sighs, covering his eyes.

“At least no one will get lost on the field.” Chan says.

“That was never our problem.” Changbin says.

“Anyway!” Coach Park claps his hands together. “Weevils on three!”

“One!”

“Two!”

“WEEEEEEVILS!”

“Goddamn it, Juyeon.”

“Sorry.”

The Woollim High Wolves’ uniforms are a cool cadet blue and navy blue. They’re quite dull, but Jisung would actually take dull over the _monstrosity_ he’s currently wearing.

“Nice shirt.” The Wolves’ catcher snickers.

“Thanks.” Jisung says, giving his butt a confident little wag in his shiny white pants as he lifts the bat. He turns so his jersey catches the sun, and smiles to himself when he hears the catcher groan.

The pitcher’s expression is sour as he squints at Jisung.

He raises his hand. “Coach! I can’t even _look_ at them!”

The Wolves’ coach actually calls for a time-out. Jisung snorts as he lowers the bat. _Seriously???_

“Get your ass over here, Jisung!”

Jisung jogs over to the Weevils’ dugout. “Is it time to bust out the _big guns, _Coach?” He stretches his arms out in a T-shape.

“No, Jisung, we are pacifists here.” Jinyoung says, swatting Jisung’s arms out of the way. “But the Woollim High boys are distracted by our uniforms, which is a good thing, right?”

“No, _I_ can hardly look at you guys. Who designed the uniforms?” Coach Wang asks, turning his nose up in distaste.

“I did.” Changbin raises a hand, but hardly above his shoulder. It’s the sort of hand-raising you do when you don’t want to be called in class. Still, everyone turns to look at him anyway, with various levels of disappointment on their faces. “But I asked them to be firetruck red! Not _reflectorized salmon pink_!”

“I feel strong enough to swim up a waterfall.” Hyunjoon nods, miming the action in his bright pink jersey.

“Shut up.” Changbin grumbles.

“I think we’re like cute highlighters.” Hyunjin says, grinning at his teammates.

“You’re literally the _only_ one-”

“Shut up-”

“We look like _fools_-”

“You _always_ looked like a fool-”

“Bitch!”

“Stop it, guys-”

“You look pretty stupid too-”

“Don’t say that to the captain-”

“Whatever, you-”

“BOYS!” Coach Wang claps his hands together, hard, before shielding his eyes again with both hands. “Let’s not get distracted!”

The umpire’s signaling to them that their time’s up.

“God.” Coach Wang groans.

“Yeah, it’s up to God now.” Coach Park says. “Here’s the play for today, just shake what you’ve got-”

“Hyunjoon has no ass.”

“Excuse _you_, Jisung, _you_ just have bones-”

“Shake the _uniform_,” Coach Park corrects himself. “And bother the Wolves so much they can’t play.”

“That is _not_ a strategy.” Coach Wang groans.

“It’s the best we’ve got.”

“It’s really not.”

Hyunjin doesn’t want to sound like an asshole, but this match is actually kinda…easy? _It’s like when you take an exam and you feel like it’s easy but you don’t wanna say it ‘cause you might be wrong and you usually are… but we’re six runs ahead._

Hyunjin feels antsy as he winds up for a pitch. His brother had signaled for a straight, right down the middle throw. So Hyunjin’s giving one.

_But what if…_

The ball glides in an almost straight line towards the Wolves’ batter, who misses it completely. The ball hits Chan’s glove with a loud thump.

_You’re overthinking this, Hyunjin._

_But shouldn’t it be harder? _

_Shouldn’t we be having a harder time?_

Hyunjin frowns as he throws a pitch with just a little bit of curve to it, which the batter misses again.

_Did the other teams feel like this when they kicked our asses before?_

Hyunjin throws another pitch. This one connects with the bat, and flies over his head. But without turning around, he already hears it hit Felix’s glove, then watches it get thrown to Hyunjoon on first. Hyunjoon taps the Wolves’ batter out without breaking a sweat.

_This is weird._

The Weevils are now twelve points ahead of the Wolves, who’ve moved on from cursing the Weevils’ pink jerseys to just staring directly at them with dead eyes.

Hyunjin rolls his shoulders and shuts out another one of the Wolves.

His brother’s signing something at him.

_G… What kind of pitch starts with a G?_

His brother begins to sign more aggressively.

_G-O—E-A-S-Y_

_Oh. _Hyunjin gives him a quick nod, then winds up for a pitch.

_Okay, we’re going to be Mr. Nice Hyunjin…_

Hyunjin throws the fastest splitter he’s ever thrown.

_Oops._

The rest of the team looks just as confused as Hyunjin when they regroup after shaking the Wolves’ hands. The Wolves, for all their good sportsmanship, hadn’t looked them in the eye when they were shaking hands.

_Not that I can blame them, _Hyunjin thinks, looking down at his shirt.

“Great work today, guys.” Jinyoung says, putting an arm around Hyunjin. He leans towards his brother and whispers, “Did you really have to go that hard?”

“Sorry.” Hyunjin whispers back.

“Yeah, uh,” Coach Wang says. “Congratulations on the win.”

“But…?” Jisung asks.

“But what?” Coach Wang frowns.

“I dunno, you always have some kind of criticism for us.” Jisung shrugs.

“I do…” Coach Wang says, but his brow furrows so much that his eyebrows almost kiss each other.

“What is it?” Changbin crosses his arms.

Changbin usually looks pretty badass, especially when he’s squaring up to Coach Wang, but with the super bright pink shirt… Hyunjin can’t help but snort.

“Uh… we need to work on batting.” Coach Wang says.

“We hit six home runs.” Changbin says.

“Uh…” Coach Wang makes a face. “Passing?”

“We didn’t drop a single-”

Jinyoung puts one hand on Changbin’s shoulder to shut him up, and a hand on Coach Wang’s shoulder to stop him from embarrassing himself further. “Just admit they did a good job so we can all go home, dude.”

Coach Wang purses his lips. “This is just the first match and I don’t want it getting to your heads because we’ve still got a long way to go-”

“_Jackson._” Jinyoung sighs.

“Fine. Good job, everyone.” Coach Wang says, lowering his head in defeat. “I’m proud of your performance today.”

The Weevils burst out screaming and dancing and Jisung, who’d been taking the whole thing on video, starts yelling, “DID YOU FUCKING HEAR THAAAT! COACH WANG IS PROUD OF US!!!”

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

Jisung starts smacking himself on the leg to some beat. He looks at Hyunjin, who shakes his head like, _I dunno what you’re doing-_

“Uh-huh… this my shit.” Changbin starts quietly, a smile growing on his face.

“Few tiMES I've been around that tracK!” Chan yells.

“So it's not just gonna happen like that!” Jisung screams at the top of his lungs.

“CAUSE I AIN’T NO HOLLABACK GIRL!” Felix shouts.

“I AIN’T NO HOLLABACK GIRL!” Hyunjin joins in, dropping into a squat to twerk.

“Felix, do you need a lift somewhere?” Coach Park asks, swinging his car keys around one finger.

Felix shakes his head. “No thanks, my parents are coming.”

Hyunjin checks the time on his phone. “You sure? We could bring you home if-”

“It’s okay, thanks.” Felix cuts in. “My parents are on the way.”

Coach Park and Hyunjin both raise their eyebrows the same way, but they start towards the stadium’s parking lot just the same.

“What about you, Cap?”

Felix watches them amble to a stop next to Changbin, who’s been pacing back and forth in one spot off to the side. He’s got a tight little frown on his face as he goes over the same patch of gravel over and over, like he’s trying to wear it down to sand.

“Cap?” Hyunjin asks again, waving a hand in front of Changbin.

Changbin points at the phone he’s holding to his ear.

“Oh. Sorry. See you on Monday.”

Changbin nods.

Felix watches Coach Park sling an arm around Hyunjin’s neck to drag him playfully towards the carpark. Hyunjin’s whining so loudly about his spinal cord that Changbin looks up from the gravel to watch them too. There’s something about the way the captain looks at the Park brothers that makes Felix a little sad. _Does Cap have siblings, too?_

_He seems like he’d make a good big brother. That’s kinda like being a captain but your term never runs out, right?_

Changbin seems to notice Felix out of the corner of his eye. He lowers his phone with a smile. “Your parents not here yet either?”

Felix had asked them to pick him up a little late so they wouldn’t attract a lot of attention, but even so, they’re running a bit late.

“Nope.” Felix says.

Changbin pockets his phone, grinning. “Why’s it always us?”

“U- Us?” Felix blinks at him. His fingers tingle like they can remember what Changbin’s hand feels like in his, even if the captain had never made any mention of it afterwards. Felix wonders if he’d just imagined the whole thing. _Wouldn’t put it past me._

“Our parents are always ditching us.” Changbin stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jeans, snuffing out Felix’s expectations with a strictly-friendly smile. He’d changed out of the new uniform as soon as the game had ended, and he’s wearing all black now, as if the sun isn’t burning right overhead.

“But my dads are on the way.”

“Right.” Changbin’s smile fades a little. “Sorry.”

Felix chews his lower lip. _Crap crap CRAP I HURT HIS FEELINGS CTRL+Z ABORT-_

“I guess I’ll just take the bus.” Changbin sighs.

“We could probably drop you off somewhere.” Felix says. “My dad loves to drive.”

That makes Changbin laugh. Felix heaves a sigh of relief.

Felix opens his mouth to say something again, but loud, tinny rock music starts blasting out his pocket. It’s an anime op, but Felix picks up before the singer can even start. Felix turns around as he answers the call, his ears burning bright red.

“Dad!” Felix lowers his voice to a panicked hiss. “What-”

“MY GOD FELIX I’M SO SORRY WE ARE _FLYING_ OVER-” Felix’s dad breaks off into a wordless yell on the other end of the call.

“JAE THERE ARE SPEED LIMITS FOR A _REASON_!” Felix’s other dad yells from what Felix guesses is the passenger’s seat.

“THERE WAS SOME BULLSHIT AT THE UNIVERSITY ANYWAY WE’LL BE THERE IN LIKE 5! OR MAYBE LIKE 1! ANYWAYS WE’LL BE THERE IN A FEW!” Felix’s dad screams. “SORRY BABY FELIX!”

Felix feels his entire face catch fire. He buries his face in his hands, closing his eyes and employing self-hypnosis to try to ignore Changbin just standing there smirking at him. “Okay, Dad, I’ll see you-”

“JAE! THE OLD WOMAN!” Felix’s papa hollers.

“MOVE, MA’AM!”

“SHE CAN’T HEAR YOU!”

Felix holds the phone a safe distance from his ear. He makes the mistake of looking at Changbin, who looks ready to laugh, but too polite to do it.

“DAD!” Felix yells at the phone. “I’M GONNA HANG UP AND LET YOU DRIVE, OKAY? DRIVE SAFE, LOVE YOU, BYE!”

Felix hits the red button and looks back at Changbin. Felix knows that if he could see himself right now, he’d probably look very much like the hang-up button, but with freckles.

Changbin can only be _so_ polite. He chuckles and disguises it as a cough. “I’m starting to think maybe I don’t want a lift from your dad.”

“He’s actually…” Felix trails off and sighs. “I don’t have any excuses for him. He drives like he’s playing GTA.”

Changbin cocks his head to one side good-naturedly. “What’s GTA?”

Felix stares. “Oh god.”

A white car screeches to a stop in front of the curb Changbin and Felix are sitting on. If the driver had just been off by half a meter to the right, Felix and Changbin would’ve ended up two-dimensional.

The window rolls down, and a man Changbin’s never seen before – whom he assumes to be Felix’s other dad – waves at them. “Hey Felix, sorry you had to wait so long.”

“You would not _believe _the bullshit I have had to witness on this damn day!” Felix’s dad, the one that Changbin had met before, leans all the way over the console and over Felix’s other dad to stick his head out the window. “Some kid cheated on my exam and I had to sit in a tribunal whatever for hours without my phone I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to text-”

“It’s fine, Dad.” Felix assures him, trying to gently ease his dad back into the car, but it’s kind of like when you’ve gotten too much toothpaste out of the tube and can’t put it back. “Uh, can we give my friend a ride home?”

“Sure.” Felix’s dad twists to look at Changbin, and his eyebrows shoot up. “Hey! It’s you!”

“Hi.” Changbin says. He doesn’t know if he should wave or what, so he just pins his hands to the sides and nods politely.

“You wanna join us for lunch?” Felix’s dad asks Changbin.

Changbin opens his mouth to say that he’s going to have lunch with his own dad, but his own dad hasn’t replied to any of Changbin’s messages or picked up any of Changbin’s calls for the better part of an hour.

And Felix is looking at Changbin _that_ way again, when his eyes become big and round and shiny like marbles, and his little perfectly bow-shaped mouth is slightly parted in anticipation, and his cheeks are flushed all the way to his ears – he really leaves Changbin no other choice than to say,

“Sure, thank you.”


	17. The High School Movie Makeover Scene That HAD To Happen

“Papa, Dad,” Felix says, closing the car door behind him. “This is our captain, Seo Changbin.”

Felix’s dads waggle their eyebrows at each other so visibly that Felix has the urge to open the door and barrel roll out.

“Hi.” Changbin’s voice is smaller than usual, and he gives Felix’s parents a teeny tiny wave.

“Hi Changbin, you can call me uh, Uncle Matt.” Felix’s papa says, twisting in his seat to reach out and shake Changbin’s hand.

“Nice to meet you,” Changbin says in such a soft voice that Felix feels tickled.

“Hiya, I’m Uncle Jae,” Felix’s dad also turns around in his seat to shake Changbin’s hand. Which would’ve been a nice gesture, if the car hadn’t already been hurtling forward at around thirty kilometers an hour.

“_DAD_!” Felix squawks.

“_JAE_!” Felix’s papa screeches.

“Jeez, it’s okay, everyone stay calm,” Felix’s dad laughs nervously. He looks in the rearview mirror. “You good back there, Changbin?”

“Y- Yes, sir.” Changbin’s pressed against his seat, clutching the edges so tightly that it seems the stuffing might have permanent hand impressions in it.

“You might wanna wear your seatbelt, Cap.”

“Good idea.”

“No.” Seungmin says flatly.

Seungmin’s sister sighs. “This isn’t negotiable, Seungminnie.”

“Neither is my answer, Jimin-noona.” Seungmin says sweetly. Then he pulls the hood of his jacket over his head and tugs on the laces to draw it closed around his face.

Jimin groans, leaning dramatically on the doorframe to Seungmin’s room. “Come on, dude. I don’t like going to this shit either, but mom and dad pay our rent.”

“As they should.”

“Kim Seungmin.” Jimin rests her forehead on the doorjamb. “They’re gonna chew _my_ ass out if I show up there without you.”

“Then don’t go, either.” Seungmin says, reaching for his phone to turn his music up.

Jimin sighs and walks over to sit on the edge of her brother’s bed. She pulls his hood off his face and plucks one airbud out. “What’s wrong now?”

Seungmin lifts his eyebrows innocently. “Huh?”

“Don’t insult my intelligence, Seungmin, my profs do that enough on a daily basis.” Jimin holds the airbud out of reach when he tries to make a grab for it. “What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing.” Seungmin frowns and tries to take the airbud back again.

Jimin throws the airbud across the room, right into Seungmin’s laundry basket. “Is it your grades? Because you know I’ll still love and accept you even if you’re not a prodigy anymore, right?”

Seungmin rolls his eyes. “My grades are fine, noona.”

“Okay, so what is it?” Jimin pokes her younger brother in the ribs. “What’s been bothering you-”

“I just don’t wanna see mom and dad today. I’m just not in the mood.” Seungmin frowns, getting up to go fish for his airbud in the laundry basket. “Not that I ever am.”

“See, you’re usually a snarky little bitch, but this is a bit much for you.” Jimin frowns as she watches Seungmin throw out all his clothes onto the floor. Jimin wades through her brother’s crumpled clothes to place a hand on the top of his head. “Seungmin.”

“Yes?” Seungmin says through gritted teeth.

“Get dressed. We’re going to mom and dad’s stupid groundbreaking thing.”

“I don’t want-”

“I don’t care if you want to go or not.” Jimin bends over and picks the airbud off the sweater it had snagged on. “I’m your older sister and you have to listen to me.”

“You’re only half my sister.”

Jimin coughs, closing a fist around the airbud. She blinks hard at him, clenching her jaw.

Seungmin turns with his eyes wide when he realizes what he’d said. “I’m sorry-”

“Then you have to _half_ listen to me, at least.” Jimin throws the airbud _at_ Seungmin more than to him. “Get off your smelly ass and stop moping around.”

Seungmin lowers his head. “Yes, noona.”

“What would you like, Changbin?”

Changbin shakes his head quickly. “I- I’ll order separately, Mr., uh… _Uncle Jae_.”

He grimaces. It feels weird to be calling Felix’s parents _uncle _when he’s only really known them for the past twenty minutes or so.

“No, no, it’s okay, Changbin.” Felix’s dad waves a hand dismissively. “One extra burger isn’t gonna break the bank.”

Changbin purses his lips. He hadn’t thought that Felix’s parents would insist on paying for his lunch. He knows they’re just at a fast food joint and one burger probably _is_ spare change for them, but there’s something twisting Changbin’s gut at the idea of taking free food from anyone.

_I can’t do it._

“Really, th- thank you, Mr… Felix’s dad-” Changbin decides that’s a safe place to settle, name-wise “-But I’ll pay for my own burger.”

Felix’s dad glances quickly at his husband and his son, who are saving them a table across the restaurant. He leans in and shields his mouth with a hand to say to Changbin, “Think of it as a thank-you for helping me find Felix that other time at school.”

Changbin frowns. “You don’t need to thank me for that. Anyone would do that.”

Felix’s dad laughs. “If only all my students were like you.”

Changbin’s still trying to figure what Felix’s dad means by that when the woman at the counter turns to them with a smile.

“Hi, what would you guys like today?”

“I’ll have four half-pounder cheeseburgers with steak-cut fries and Coke please.” Felix’s dad says, so quickly that Changbin doesn’t have the time to cut in. “Oh, change the other Coke to a strawberry milkshake, please, thanks. Would you like a milkshake, too, Changbin?”

“I- I- I’m-” Changbin’s frown deepens. He sighs. “N- No thanks.”

“Yeah, so three meals with just Coke and one with a strawberry milkshake, please.” Felix’s dad says, pulling his wallet out to shuffle through a stack more of credit cards than Changbin’s ever seen at once.

_Actually, _Changbin realizes, _I’ve never seen Dad with a _single_ credit card. _

_Shit. I forgot about Dad._

Changbin pulls his phone out of his pocket, worried his dad might be somewhere around the stadium still, just waiting for him.

The phone calmly assures him that he has no new messages or missed calls.

“Your parents looking for you yet?” Felix’s dad asks, as if he’s reading Changbin’s mind.

“No, I told them I was having lunch out.” Changbin says. _Which is not a lie. I just don’t know if either of them has seen my texts._

“Oh, okay.” Felix’s dad thanks the cashier briefly before trying to lift both trays of food on his own.

“Let me help-”

“It’s fine, Changbin, I’ve got it-”

“Wait, Mr. Felix’s dad-”

Changbin used to watch a lot of those _Seconds From Disaster_ sort of documentaries with his mom when he was younger. The next couple of seconds play out just like one of those over-dramatized reenactments. Felix’s dad lifts both trays successfully for a half second or so. Then his Converses snag on the edge of a tile. His eyes bug out in surprise, and he manages to swing his arms around to save every last one of the burgers and fries, but the cups on the other tray aren’t as lucky.

Neither is Changbin. The Coke and the strawberry milkshake splash all the way down his front, to the horror of Felix’s dad and the cashier just watching this unfold from her safe spot behind the counter.

Felix’s dad’s free hand flies up to cover his quickly reddening face. “I am _so _sorry I’m a complete fuckup.”

“It’s fine.” Changbin says, but he shivers a little from the milkshake soaking through his shirt.

“Couldn’t you have worn something else?” Seungmin’s mother says, frowning as she picks up the edge of Seungmin’s sleeve gingerly between two fingers. She stops frowning to give one of the event’s official photographers a sweet smile.

Seungmin flashes a V sign at the photographer, staring blankly as the photographer’s giant flash bulb blinks.

“What’s wrong with my outfit?” Seungmin asks, giving his wrists a little flick from under his traffic-cone orange button-down shirt.

“It’s not appropriate for a groundbreaking ceremony.”

“Should I have worn brown?” Seungmin lifts his eyebrows innocently.

Seungmin’s mother makes a face, or at least as much as her most recent Botox job can allow. She doesn’t say anything else to him, but she does follow after the photographer and ask him to delete all the photos he has of her son.

“Seungmin.”

Seungmin jumps to attention, bowing to his father out of sheer shock. “Hi Dad.”

“What in the whole hell are you wearing, my boy?” His father groans.

“Clothes.” Seungmin deadpans.

His father rubs his temples and turns to the row of personal assistants tailing him. “Go see if you can get him something else to wear before the press get a photo of him.”

“Yes, sir.” One of them says. “Come with me, please, Seungmin.”

“There’s nothing wrong with my-”

“Seungmin.” His father sighs. “What do you think my business partners would think if I went around looking like a _fruit_?”

“That you look fresh, maybe.”

One of his dad’s assistants snorts, then covers their mouth with one hand to disguise it as a cough.

Seungmin’s dad’s face starts to go a deep maroon color. “I can’t deal with you right now, but when we get home-”

“I’ll take care of him, Dad.” Jimin seems to fly in out of nowhere, trapping Seungmin in an aggressive side hug. “We’ll just go shopping and be right back.”

“Okay.” Seungmin’s dad’s shoulders seem to ease up slightly at the sight of Jimin. “Do you need my card-”

“I have the extension card, Dad, I’m fine.” Jimin says. She tightens her hold on Seungmin and mutters, “Come on, you little shit.”

But when Seungmin looks at her, she’s biting her lip to hold back a laugh.

“Cap?” Felix asks. He’s been pacing up and down the length of the bathroom, wringing a plastic bag while Changbin changes. “Does it fit?”

“Yeah… kinda.”

Felix frowns at the closed cubicle door in front of him. “What do you mean?”

Changbin opens the door. He’s holding his own clothes balled up in a fist, and he’s changed into one of Felix’s spare outfits. Which had been a pastel pink- and peach-striped shirt and a pair of blue denim overalls that Changbin’s had to roll up a couple of times so they don’t trail on the floor.

_He doesn’t look bad… He just looks… _

_Very bad._

Felix tries very, very hard not to laugh.

Changbin glares at him. “I can’t go out like this.”

“I think you look fine, Cap.” Felix says, his mouth quivering from the effort of keeping a straight face.

“You’re a shit liar, Felix.”

“I’m not lying! You look…” Felix covers the lower half of his face with one hand and keeps his voice as flat and emotionless as possible as he says, “Besides, you already wore the new jersey in public, Cap.”

“Exactly.” Changbin groans. “I can’t do this twice in one day.”

Felix has to turn away from him. He can’t take it anymore. “I’m sorry, Cap, but you look like you’re cosplaying as a toddler.”

“I look like a knockoff Minion.” Changbin grumbles, taking the plastic bag from Felix to stuff his wet clothes in. He catches sight of his own reflection in the bathroom mirror and groans all over again. “Felix, why do you even have clothes like these?”

“They’re cute.”

“Yes.” Changbin turns around in front of the mirror, scowling at his reflection. “That’s the problem.”

“You look cute, Cap.” Felix giggles.

Changbin glares at him so fiercely that Felix shuts up. His knees also go a little bit weak, but that’s on him.

“You boys good?” Felix’s papa asks, leaning into the bathroom. When he sees Changbin, his eyes widen like they’re trying to go past the rims of his glasses. “Whew, you look…”

“Pops, don’t.” Felix shakes his head, making a gesture with one hand like he’s chopping his own head off. “Just don’t.”

“You look good, Changbin.” Felix’s papa says, nodding solemnly. “Real men wear pink.”

Changbin groans and stomps out of the bathroom, leaving Felix and his papa to snicker as politely as they can.

“What about this one?” Jimin holds up a silky shirt with a huge floral print.

“Looks like grandma’s couch.” Seungmin says. They’ve been wasting their time in their dad’s first mall for the better part of an hour. He can’t, for the life of him, understand why his dad thinks their small city needs another shopping mall when this one’s already big enough to waste an entire day in.

Jimin holds up another one with a more toned-down floral print. “What about this one? You can use it for parties, too.”

Seungmin snorts. “Noona, _me_? _Parties_?”

Jimin sighs and shoves the floral shirt into Seungmin’s arms anyway. “I am begging you, please go out more so I can have the apartment to myself.”

Seungmin holds the shirt up against his chest and looks at his reflection in the nearest full-length mirror. _I look like grandma’s couch. _“It’s not like I bother you when we’re both at home anyway, noona.”

“I’m going to be upfront with you about this, Seungmin.” Jimin plucks two more shirts off the rack and hands them to Seungmin. “I want to be able to bring people home. For… _yeah_.”

Seungmin chokes on his own spit. “_You_? Bring someone home?”

“You don’t have to be such a bitch!” Jimin picks up an empty hanger and raises it threateningly. “If I didn’t have a cute lil brother in the next room I could probably-”

“Noona, let’s be honest here.” Seungmin rests a hand on his older sister’s shoulder. “You finding someone willing to _go home_ with you is as likely as me getting invited to one of those high school parties_._ And that likelihood is _zero_.”

“Fuck you, man.” Jimin throws the hanger at him, much to the horror of the saleslady who’d been considering assisting them. “Your BFF gets invited everywhere; you could go with him.”

“Hyunjin?”

“Yeah, it’s not like you have other _human_ friends.”

Seungmin makes a face. “I don’t like other humans anyway. Or their parties.”

Jimin slumps onto the nearest couch in the boutique. She sighs up loudly at the ceiling. “I wish I didn’t either.”

“So, Changbin, what do your parents do?”

“Uh…” Changbin looks up from the cold burger he’s been eating with almost enough laser focus to forget his stupid outfit. _Almost. _“My mom’s a flight attendant and my dad owns the auto mechanic shop on Cherry Ave-”

“Wait, your dad’s Mr. Seo? Of Seo’s Autos?” Felix’s dad asks, half a fry hanging out of his mouth.

“Yeah.” Changbin says.

“Oh, I love that guy,” Felix’s dad says brightly, nudging his husband in the ribs. “Changbin’s dad’s real nice, he’s always throwing in stuff for free.”

“Yeah.” Changbin nods slowly. He can already hear his mom’s voice getting angry about all the services his dad’s just giving away to everyone who walks in. “He likes to give back to the community.”

Felix’s other dad smiles. “That’s really nice.”

“Sounds like Changbin’s dad.” Felix says, taking a very modest, careful sip of his strawberry milkshake (Felix’s dad had bought them a whole new set of drinks, though Changbin had gently asked for plain, unsticky, water).

“Why? You’ve met him?” Felix’s other dad asks.

“Oh, no,” Felix shakes his head aggressively. “I just- Because he’s Changbin’s dad… I guessed he must be like Changbin.”

Changbin frowns at the idea. _Am I anything like Dad? _

_I hope not._

“What airline does your mom work for?” Felix’s dad asks.

“J____ Air.” Changbin replies, picking up a fry.

The frowns Felix and his parents give him are the politest way they can say they’ve never heard of it.

“It’s a local budget airline.” Changbin says. _Why does it sound like I’m putting Mom down? It’s the truth. _

“Oh.”

“Okay.”

“Hey!” Felix’s dad says suddenly, waving at someone outside the restaurant. “Felix, it’s your friend, uh… God, I forgot his name, sorry.”

Felix and Changbin frown at the boy currently frowning back at them through the restaurant’s front window.

“Why don’t you go say hi to him?” Felix’s other dad smiles.

Changbin looks back at Felix, deeply confused. But Felix is just looking down at his fries, his ears completely red.

Changbin looks up at the boy outside the restaurant again. Maybe he’d made a mistake.

_No, I didn’t. _

_That guy is _not_ Felix’s friend._

Junhyun turns and starts walking off, his frown growing deeper and deeper.

“Hey Hyunjin?” Seungmin swivels around in his computer chair, keeping his voice low so his sister doesn’t hear him from the next room. _Not much we can do there, the walls here are practically paper._

“Hey!” Hyunjin’s voice is squeaky and friendly, as usual. It makes Seungmin smile. “What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing.”

“So…” Hyunjin laughs. “Why’d you call?”

“I was just wondering if you…” Seungmin frowns, trying to phrase things in his head. “If you’re going to a party anytime soon?”

“Uh… I don’t think so? I’ll be able to go to the shelter this Tuesday.”

“Great!” Seungmin says, though that wasn’t what he’d wanted to ask about. _This is Hyunjin you’re talking to. You have to be straight-up about it. _“Uh, the next time you go to a party, could I… uh… be your plus one?”

Hyunjin hums on the other end for such a long time that Seungmin’s worried he thinks Seungmin’s weird for asking that. _He might think I’m asking him out. And it’ll make everything weirder than they already are._

When Hyunjin finally says something, it’s: “Plus one _what_?”

Seungmin laughs, but he’s also sliding down in his seat from relief. “I mean, can I go with you to the party, silly?”

“Oh. _Ohhh._” Hyunjin laughs, and there’s a sharp sound like he’s just slapped himself on the forehead. “Sure! I’ll text you.”

“Okay.” Seungmin smiles.

“So, how’ve you been? It’s been a while since we talked and stuff.”

“Yeah,” Seungmin spins around in his chair. “Well, school’s the same as usual. The other day someone keyed one of the seniors’ brand-new Benz, and all hell broke loose…”

Felix notices Changbin shift in his seat when Felix’s dad turns onto Changbin’s street. Felix had noticed that Changbin’d gotten quieter after seeing Junhyun during lunch, though he can’t imagine why._ And now he’s even quieter, if that had been possible. _

“What number did you say again?” Felix’s dad asks, actually slowing the car down for a change.

“Uh, I’m in the second building. Over there.” Changbin leans forward to point at the second low, puce-colored building. Or, at least, the buildings used to be completely puce, but the paint’s chipped away in most places to reveal a grayish white underneath. Felix knows he doesn’t have the right to judge other people’s houses, but everything about the place Changbin lives, from the peeling paint to the straggly brown grass to the tiny blocky windows, looks unfriendly.

Felix looks over at Changbin, whose expression visibly falls when Felix’s dad pulls up to a stop.

“Here we are,” Felix’s papa turns around in his seat to smile at Changbin. “You got all your stuff, Changbin?”

Changbin picks up his duffel bag with one hand and uses the other to grip the plastic bag with his wet clothes. “Yeah.”

“We could wash those for you,” Felix’s papa says, shooting Felix’s dad a sidelong glance as he adds, “Since it _is_ our fault they got messed up in the first place.”

“Sorry again.” Felix’s dad shuts his eyes in embarrassment.

“No, it’s fine, I have to do the laundry tonight anyway.” Changbin says. He smiles for a moment, giving each of Felix’s parents a deep bow. “Thanks for lunch.”

“You’re welcome to have lunch with us whenever you want, Changbin.” Felix’s papa says. “Or dinner. Or breakfast. Or like, just a snack. Whenever you want, really.”

Felix smacks his face into his palm. “_Papa_.”

Changbin laughs. “Thanks, Mr… uh…”

“Uncle Matt.”

“Thanks, Uncle Matt.” Changbin’s smile is so warm that Felix wishes he could smile like that all the time. He’s willing to sacrifice a million strawberry milkshakes to make that happen.

“Hey Changbin, isn’t that your dad?” Felix’s dad’s squinting at the rearview mirror.

Changbin turns around to look out the rear window, then his smile quickly fades. Felix turns around too, to see a burly, gruff-looking man who looks nothing like Changbin step out of a small blue car. Then the passenger-side door opens and Teacher Ahn steps out. _Teacher Ahn? Is she related to Changbin?_

Felix watches Changbin’s brow furrow in frustration. “Hey, Cap-”

“I’ll see you at training.” Changbin opens the door. He gives Felix’s parents a quick bow again, but his voice is colder when he says, “Thanks again for lunch.”

Changbin stomps towards the small blue car. He doesn’t know if he’s angry or embarrassed or what it is he’s feeling right now, but he just knows that feels a lot of it and it’s not good.

“Dad.” Changbin calls out sternly.

“Changbin!” Changbin’s dad scratches guiltily behind his ear. “You’re just getting home now?”

_No thanks to you. _

“I had lunch with my friend. They dropped me off.” Changbin nods over at Felix’s dad’s white car, which is still stalled some distance from them. _Why won’t they leave?_

“I’m sorry I couldn’t pick you up,” Changbin’s dad looks down at him, looking genuinely worried. Changbin knows his dad to be a horrible liar. _At least, as far as I know._

“It’s okay.”

“Hyejin’s car broke down on the expressway and I had to help her bring it to the shop and-”

“Changbin, what are you _wearing_?” Teacher Ahn cuts in, her eyes wide as she looks Changbin up and down.

“My clothes got wet so I had to borrow some from my friend.” Changbin looks behind him to find that Felix and his parents had driven off. He doesn’t know if he’s sad or relieved.

“Would this friend happen to be… a girl?” Teacher Ahn asks with a little wink.

Changbin doesn’t know how he feels about her anymore, either. He liked her as a teacher. She’s one of the few teachers who’d made History actually interesting for him. She’d been kind, reasonable, and genuinely funny. _But now…_

“Yes. We’re dating.” Changbin tightens his grip on his plastic bag of wet clothes and turns to go into the building.

“Wait, Changbin!” Changbin’s dad calls after him. “You never said anything about-”

“Let him be, Dongho.” Teacher Ahn says gently.


	18. THANKS ^_^

“Behave yourself.” Jinyoung wags a finger sternly at his brother as they walk into the school’s back entrance.

“I always behave myself.” Hyunjin scoffs.

“Well, don’t break the streak now.” Jinyoung gives his brother a friendly pat on the butt before turning to go into the faculty room.

“Jinyoung! Just the guy I needed to talk to!”

“Park Jinyoung! Did you watch the game last night!”

“Jinyoung, there are a bunch of students who’ve been waiting to ask you something…”

Hyunjin rolls his eyes all the way to his locker. _Hyung’s managed to become popular even as a freaking Math teacher._

“Park Hyunjin!” Jisung skids to a stop next to Hyunjin with Changbin walking calmly behind. Why Jisung had been running this early in the morning will remain a mystery that Hyunjin doesn’t care enough to solve. “Just the guy I needed to talk to!”

Hyunjin closes his locker and gives his friends a wary look. “What do you want?”

“What time does the animal shelter close?” Changbin asks.

“Uh…” Hyunjin looks up at the ceiling while he thinks.

Jisung snaps his fingers agitatedly. “Come on, dude, don’t you volunteer there?”

“I haven’t been back there in a while, okay.” Hyunjin makes a face at Jisung. “I think it closes around six, why?”

“Oh crap, we can’t go after training, then.” Changbin makes a face.

“We? Go?” Hyunjin frowns.

“The whole team needs to do some work at the shelter, remember?” Changbin says.

“Because we lost to the Bears at training camp?” Jisung adds, miming it out horribly. All Hyunjin can figure out from his motions is _bear._

“Oh. Right.” Hyunjin nods. He’d forgotten completely about baseball for a moment there. _First the shelter, now the team? What are you even remembering these days, Park Hyunjin?_

Hyunjin’s face must look funny, because Jisung suddenly says, “Sorry for bothering you about this stuff like, first thing in the morning, but Minho’s been pestering me about it.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m just thinking about stuff.”

Jisung shrugs. “It’s good to try new things.”

“Fuck you.”

“Aw, I love you too, man.” Jisung pretends to clutch his heart.

“So,” Changbin says, looking at a calendar on his phone. “Tomorrow after school should be good for the team’s visit, right?”

“I guess so.” Hyunjin shrugs.

“Okay, great! Now Minho can _finally_ get off my ass.” Jisung says, already typing out a text with an obnoxious number of OK and check mark emojis.

Changbin makes a face. “I’d have picked different words to say that.”

“Why-”

“Hyunjin! Do you even check your phone?”

The three of them turn around, frowning. Tzuyu’s wagging her phone as she storms over, looking mildly annoyed. Hyunjin turns to Jisung for some kind of help, but the latter’s shrunken away and vanished somehow. Changbin gives Hyunjin a small salute before skirting clear of the tallest, prettiest girl in their school.

_I guess I’m on my own. _

“I don’t check my phone much, sorry.” Hyunjin says.

“Tell me about it.” Tzuyu rolls her eyes so dramatically that some other people in the hallway stop talking to each other and look her way. Hyunjin has the feeling he doesn’t look as good when _he_ rolls his eyes, because he’s sure people don’t stop in the hallway to stare at _him_ when he does things like that.

“Why? What’s up?”

Tzuyu glances up and down the hallway, making everyone who’d been looking at her look away self-consciously. She leans in close to whisper, “Chaeyoung’s surprise party. You’re still helping out, right?”

“Oh, yeah, of course.” Hyunjin nods enthusiastically.

“Great!” Tzuyu squeezes Hyunjin’s arm excitedly. “I’ll wait for you at the back entrance after school.”

Hyunjin frowns. “Today?”

“No, oh my gooood, Hyunjin.” Tzuyu groans. “Tomorrow. Chae’s birthday is _tomorrow_.”

“Oh, yeah, right.” Hyunjin nods. “Tomorrow. Got it.”

The bell rings to signal first period, so Tzuyu gives Hyunjin’s arm one last squeeze before she runs off to class. Hyunjin watches her go in a slightly dazed manner, like he’s got one of those spinning loading things floating in front of his face.

_Something’s wrong… but what?_

“Seungmin!”

“Hey, Cap.” Seungmin quickly closes the article he’d been reading on his phone (_An Introvert’s Foolproof Guide to Uncomfortable Social Events_).

“The Weevils said they’re all coming to the shelter tomorrow for their loser punishment.” Minho says.

“Huh? Really?” Seungmin opens up his messaging app. Hyunjin’s not said anything about it.

“Yeah, Jisung just texted me.” The corner of Minho’s mouth perks up just a little bit when he says Jisung’s name. Seungmin thinks it’s just a little cute.

“Okay.” Seungmin makes a mental note to warn Mr. Tuan of the impending Weevil infestation. Seungmin grins at the term. _Weevil infestation._

“Leave as much shit as you can out on the floor for them to clean.” Minho says.

“Oh, the poop’s not that bad.” Seungmin says, grinning conspiratorially at his captain. “It’s the _hair _that really fucks with your sanity.”

Minho smiles. “You’re the best, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told.”

“Teacher Ahn? Could I talk to you about something?”

“Yeah, sure.” Hyejin doesn’t look up from the quizzes she’d been frowning at. Rather, she _can’t. _She just doesn’t understand how a self-respecting high-schooler could side with a multinational corporation over a group of impoverished farmers, but the kids are always finding new ways to surprise her.

“Did you see me yesterday?”

Hyejin looks up. She hopes she doesn’t look guilty, even though she feels guilty, for some reason. “W- Well, no, Felix, why?”

“Oh, good.” Felix’s shoulders sag with relief.

Hyejin puts the papers down to smirk up at Felix. The idea that Lee Felix of all people would have something to hide from her is hilarious – the kids _really_ never stop surprising her.

“Why?” Hyejin asks. “What _were_ you doing yesterday?”

“Nothing!” Felix’s voice squeaks on the second syllable and he’s waving his hands so aggressively it’s like he’s trying to swat away a swarm of mosquitoes. “Really, nothing, Teacher Ahn, I promise.”

Hyejin can’t help herself anymore. She laughs. “I believe you, Felix.”

Felix leans against the blackboard in relief.

“Do you have any more questions for me?” Hyejin asks, folding up the quizzes in her hand. She’s not in the mood to read any more of them right now anyway.

“No, ma’am. See you tomorrow, Teacher Ahn.” Felix assures her, spinning on one heel to leave. The way he does so makes Hyejin wonder if he’d ever tried dancing.

“Oh, wait, Felix?”

“Yes?” Felix spins around again, so gracefully that Hyejin’s convinced he must know how to dance at the very least. _It’s too bad the school doesn’t have a dance troupe or anything like that. All they care about is sports._

“You’re on the baseball team, right?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Are you close friends with the captain?” Hyejin asks. “Seo Changbin?”

Felix’s expression changes so quickly that Hyejin’s afraid she’s opened a can of worms that was better off left alone.

“N…” Felix’s face goes through a whole spectrum of confusion. “I guess so, Teacher Ahn, why?”

“Would you happen to know whom he’s dating?”

Felix sputters and shakes his head so violently Hyejin is tempted to stop him. “No, ma’am, I don’t know, and even if I did…”

He trails off into a determined pout.

“…You wouldn’t tell the teachers, of course.” Hyejin laughs again. “Sorry for asking.”

“It’s okay, Teacher Ahn.” Felix says. “Actually, it’s kind of weird of you to ask that, but not _that _weird.”

“You could’ve stopped at ‘it’s okay.’” Hyejin sighs.

“Sorry, ma’am.” Felix gives her a quick bow. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Teacher Ahn.”

“See you tomorrow, Felix.” Hyejin frowns at herself. _Why are you even prying into Dongho’s kid’s life? Leave him alone. So what if Dongho’s dumb ass doesn’t know what’s going on with him? That’s his own problem. _

_Stop meddling, Hyejin. _

Changbin jumps to his feet the minute their economics teacher dismisses them.

“Whoa there, dude,” Mina laughs. “_Someone’s_ excited to go home.”

“No, he’s going to meet someone.” Chanhee reaches into Changbin’s open backpack and pulls out a lemon-yellow paper bag. The top’s been stapled shut a couple of times, and written across the front of the package is _THANKS_ _^_^_ in black marker. Chanhee waggles his eyebrows. “Who is it?”

Changbin snatches the paper bag back and stuffs it deep into his backpack. “None of your business.”

“You’re just jealous because Changbin’s infinitely more attractive than you are,” Mina says, giving Changbin an encouraging pat on the shoulder. “Ignore him and go get em, Changbin.”

“I will, thanks.” Changbin smiles at her.

Mina sticks her tongue out at Chanhee, who decides it’s the right time to bring up Mina’s ex who had dumped her the year before. Mina then decides it’s the right time to bring her shoe up to Chanhee’s shin.

Felix taps and sweeps his feet all the way from the classroom with enough energy and grace to make his old tap dance teacher proud. He doesn’t know why he’s in such a good mood. He does a little spin as he rounds a corner and comes into view of his locker.

“Are you… _dancing_?” Changbin’s leaning against the lockers with an amused grin on his face.

“No, of course not.” Felix says, trying to stand like a normal, not-dancing person. He feels he probably looks like a messed-up mannequin that a bunch of kids had knocked into. “What’s up, Cap?”

Changbin flips his backpack to the front and starts rummaging around inside. “I just wanted to-”

“Hey guys!” Chan cuts in, bursting through the exit door to the parking lot. “Coach Park said to hurry up.”

He and Changbin exchange looks that Felix finds very weird. Felix can’t place it, but before he can even begin to describe it in his head, Changbin pushes something into his hands.

Felix frowns down at the pastel yellow bag in his hands. “Wha-”

“Th- they’re already pressed.” Changbin mutters quickly. “AndIputinachocolatebarbutit’sprobablymeltedbutanyway, yeah.”

“What?” Felix tries to peek into the bag, but it’s been stapled so many times along the top that he’s having a hard time prying it open.

Changbin flips the bag in Felix’s hands, turning the side with writing away from Chan’s line of sight. “Put it away.”

“Okay.” Felix tucks the bag behind his back before he can read what’s written on the bag.

“I’ll go on ahead to the parking lot.” Changbin turns away before Felix can even begin to ask.

Felix jumps when the door to the exit slams behind Changbin. He looks over at Chan, who’s still looking at the door Changbin had just slammed shut with that weird, weird expression.

“What’s that?” Chan asks, lifting his eyebrows at the bag Felix is holding behind his back.

“Nothing.” Felix says, opening his locker and throwing the paper bag inside. He grabs his gym bag then locks the paper bag away for good. “Let’s go before Coach Park gets mad.”

“Okay.” Chan’s now giving Felix a different weird look as they walk towards the exit. “Oh, by the way, we’re planning to go to the animal shelter tomorrow, in case you didn’t see the group chat. ’Cause you’re the only one who hasn’t replied yet.”

“Oh.” Felix doesn’t know how to say he avoids opening the team’s group chat because the sheer number of unread messages give him anxiety, and the more he leaves them unread, the more they _multiply. Like scary rabbits._

_Or bacteria. Yeah, bacteria’s the better metaphor._

“It’s completely fine if you can’t make it tomorrow,” Chan says, studying Felix’s expression with a frown. “Changbin just told everyone this morning, so it’s kind of short notice-”

“I can go.” Felix says confidently. _Surely my dads will say yes. Hopefully. Maybe._

“Oh, okay.” Chan nods. Then he looks a bit distant as he adds, “He should’ve told everyone ahead of time, though.”

Felix frowns. It’s not like Chan to say something like that about someone else, and definitely not Changbin of all people.

_Earlier_

Changbin hums a song he’d heard on the radio as he makes his way to his locker. He can’t wait to tell Felix how the entire laundry load had come out smelling like strawberries, so Changbin had gone and washed everything again, just for him to realize that the new detergent his dad had bought was strawberry-scented, for some reason. _Maybe I’ll leave out the part where I woke up at 3 in the morning to press the overalls, that just sounds depressing as fuck. _Still, he smiles as he imagines the rainbow of expressions Felix’s face is going to go through when Changbin tells him the whole story.

Changbin stops as soon as he turns the corner. There’s a group of tall guys hanging near his and Felix’s lockers, laughing loudly. It’s the kind of laughter that lets you know that nothing funny is actually happening.

“Hey!” Changbin growls out, storming towards them. Most of the guys start running away, but there’s one that seems paralyzed to the spot with an overturned biodegradable trash can at his feet.

Changbin steps as close as he can without actually stepping into the trash strewn all over the floor. “The fuck is this?”

Junhyun’s hands fly up to protect his nose. “I swear I didn’t tell them anything!”

Changbin opens his mouth to ask what the hell he means by that. Then he remembers the silly toddler outfit currently sitting at the bottom of his bag. _If anyone hears about that… I’m never gonna live that down._

“Yeah damn right.” Changbin crosses his arms. “If I hear about that from _anyone_, I’m not even gonna ask who told them.”

“Y- Yeah, totally.” Junhyun dips into a 90-degree bow. “I w- won’t tell anyone.”

Changbin rolls his eyes. This guy acts so tough in a crowd but turns into a fucking worm the minute his friends desert him. _Typical asshole._

“Now pick up your fucking mess.” Changbin kicks a banana peel towards Junhyun’s general direction. “Don’t give the janitor more work than he already has.”

Just as Changbin turns to leave does he realize that Chan’s been standing off to one side, watching with a confused frown on his face. _How long has he been there?_

“What?” Changbin asks him.

Chan just keeps giving him that deeply disappointed look. _He’d make a good dad, _Changbin thinks, frowning back at his friend. _His kids would never survive that look._

“What is it?” Changbin asks again.

Chan just shakes his head. “I’ll see you at Coach Park’s car.”

“Okay.” Changbin’s left there in the hallway, accompanied by the squelchy sounds of Junhyun desperately trying to scoop all the garbage back into the biodegradable bin with his bare hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Changbin's humming is Strawberry by TWICE 🍓


	19. Hyunjin Fucks Up

Hyunjin rolls over and over in bed until he’s wrapped up like a burrito in his blanket. His alarm’s ringing over and over again, but Human Burrito Hyunjin chooses to ignore it.

His brother bangs a fist on the wall between their rooms. “Hyunjin! Turn that shit off!”

Hyunjin reaches over to snooze his phone. It finally stops playing a recorded loop of Hyunjin’s voice screaming, “WAKE UP! WAKE UP! HYUNJIN! WAKE UP!”

He squirms out of his burrito to squint at his phone. There are two notifications on his screen:

> _Chaeyoung’s Surprise Party (SHHH!) – 4:00 PM today_
> 
> _Volunteer @ Animal Shelter w/ the team – 4:00 PM today_

Hyunjin’s eyes fly open. _Oh crap._

“Hyunjin! What do you want for breakfast?” His brother shouts from the kitchen. “Fried eggs or spam?”

Hyunjin stares back down at his phone. _Crap crap crap crap-_

“Hyunjin! Fried eggs or spam!”

_Chaeyoung’s birthday or animal shelter? _Hyunjin rolls over in his blanket burrito until his head is spinning. _Fried eggs or spam? Birthday or volunteer? My friends or my teammates? And Seungmin? What about Seungmin? Eggs or spam?_

Jinyoung knocks on the door again. “I cooked both, okay? Get up before the food gets cold.”

“O- Okay, hyung.” Hyunjin looks at his phone again. _If I could just cut myself in half and become two small Hyunjins… like a starfish._

_Surprise party or animal shelter?_

Hyunjin’s staring at his phone for a long time, because Jinyoung comes back and knocks on his door again. “Hyunjin! The food’s getting cold!”

“I’m coming!” Hyunjin shouts back despite staying firmly wrapped in his blanket. He takes a deep breath, invokes God, and dials one of his recent contacts. “Hello?”

“Hey Hyunjin.” The voice on the other end laughs groggily, breaking into a yawn. “It’s a bit early to be calling, isn’t it?”

“Sorry, Tzuyu.” Hyunjin mumbles. “Um… I just wanted to say… about the party later…”

Seungmin swings into the animal shelter’s office. “Hey Mr. Tuan! Did you get my text?”

“The one about the _Weevil infestation_ later?” The shelter’s manager snorts. “Yeah, that one was golden.”

Seungmin’s shedding his jacket onto his desk – he’s the only volunteer with a desk, since he’s there more often than the shelter’s supposedly regular employees. He sweeps everything off the desk next to his and uses his jacket to smack some dust out of the chair. 

“What are you doing?” Mr. Tuan frowns, waving the dust away.

“Hyunjin hates when his chair is dusty.” Seungmin explains. “Since the pants of his uniform are dark.”

“It’ll be good to have that weirdo back.” Mr. Tuan nods. “Aside from the other couple of hands today.”

“There are ten other Weevils, actually, and I’ve already figured out how to delegate the work,” Seungmin pulls his phone out of his pocket. “Chan, Changbin, and Sunwoo can walk and wash the dogs, Felix, Juyeon, and Dongpyo can take care of cat cuddling and washing, Jisung and Hyunjoon can clean cages, Youngjae can be in charge of feeding, so Hyunjin and I can finally help you with the backlog of records-”

“Woah there, Seungmin,” Mr. Tuan laughs, holding his hands up like a traffic enforcer. “If you keep on like this, I’m gonna be out of a job.”

“Flattery’s not a good look on you, Boss.”

“You little shit.” Mr. Tuan scoffs as he tosses Seungmin a marker. “Go write the tasks on the whiteboard. I think I hear a car outside.”

Seungmin’s just uncapped the marker when he realizes something. “Oh, and Mr. Tuan?”

The manager stops in the doorway. “Yeah?”

“I don’t think Hyunjin’s brother is coming.” Seungmin scrunches up his nose.

Mr. Tuan’s ears burn bright pink. “Why would I care if he doesn’t?”

Seungmin just shrugs as he starts writing on the board.

Mark swings the door to the animal shelter open. “All right, everyone hurry in, it’s dusty as hell outside.”

He narrows his eyes at the stupid fucking construction across the street. The dust from the construction swirls over the asphalt and into the crowd of Weevils currently shuffling into the animal shelter.

Mark shields his face with one hand, coughing. Someone nudges him into the building and shuts the door behind him.

“You good?”

Mark blinks a few times. “Oh, hey Jinyoung.”

“Hey.” Jinyoung grins at him. “My brother can’t make it, so I’m here.”

“Oh.” Mark winces when he hears the door to the shelter’s office swing open. “Oh no.”

“Hey guys!” Seungmin beams, looking over the Weevils huddled around in the lobby. “Welcome to the…”

He doesn’t know all of the Weevils – he’d had to ask Minho for a list of their names, never mind how Minho got it – but he’s just counting them off in his head and it’s not right. _10\. There are only 10 of them._

Actually, it doesn’t matter so much that they’re not complete – this is just a dumb bet their captains had made.

_But where’s Hyunjin?_

“Welcome to the City Animal Shelter,” Mr. Tuan says, standing next to Seungmin. He flashes Seungmin a quick look that Seungmin doesn’t understand. “I’m Mr. Tuan, the manager-”

“Aren’t you the guy from the training camp?” Jisung squints at Mr. Tuan.

“No, dumbass, that was a _woman_.” Hyunjoon snorts.

“No, _you_ dumbass, the one last year!” Jisung hisses.

“Yeah, it _is_ you!” Chan says brightly. “Nice to see you again, Mr. Tuan!”

“Thanks…” Mr. Tuan’s face scrunches up with the struggle of remembering something. Every time he does that, Seungmin gets more and more afraid of hitting his late twenties. “Chan, right? You’re the captain?”

“Yeah,” Chan says. Then he catches a sharp look from Changbin. “I mean yeah, I’m Chan, but I’m not the captain anymore. Changbin is.”

“Oh. Right. Okay.” Mr. Tuan nods vaguely, and Seungmin already knows he’s going to forget that in a hot minute. “So, uh, let me just give you guys a quick orientation on the stuff we do here. Seungmin’s already taken the liberty of assigning everyone to tasks, so after the orientation, we can all get straight to work.”

Seungmin can feel Jisung frowning at him, as if the latter already knows that Seungmin’s _taken the liberty_ of assigning him to poop scooping duty. Seungmin almost laughs, then he notices Hyunjin’s brother hanging around the back of the crowd.

“So this is where we keep the stray dogs…” Mr. Tuan says, holding the door open for the Weevils.

Seungmin smiles as he lets the other boys go ahead of him. He’s not being friendly or anything, he’s just waiting for them to get out of his way.

Hyunjin’s brother brings up the rear of the group, reading every last poster on the walls like he’s afraid of getting quizzed on them.

“Hey Hyunjin’s brother.” Seungmin says.

Hyunjin’s brother turns away from the poster he’s reading with a smile. “Hey Seungmin.”

“Where’s Hyunjin?”

“He didn’t tell you?” Hyunjin’s brother’s smile falters a little bit.

“No.” Seungmin feels his blood rushing to his head or something. “Actually, last Sunday he told me he’d be here today.”

“Did he?” Hyunjin’s brother’s smile slides down into a full-on grimace.

“Where is he? Is he sick?” Seungmin says, though he knows perfectly well that Hyunjin isn’t sick.

“He’s…uh…” Hyunjin’s brother’s eyes twitch as he clearly tries to come up with something diplomatic to say to Seungmin.

Seungmin crosses his arms. “He’s at a party, isn’t he?”

Hyunjin’s brother doesn’t reply, probably because he can’t.

Seungmin turns to the poster. He doesn’t know why he’s so upset, but his eyes are stinging just a little bit.

“I’m sorry, Seungmin.” Hyunjin’s brother says, bending over slightly to look Seungmin in the face. “I didn’t know he said he’d-”

“It’s not a big deal. This is just some dumb bet anyway.” Seungmin blinks hard. “Excuse me, I have to print something for Mr. Tuan.”

“Seungmin-”

Seungmin leaves the stray dog room before he can embarrass himself further in front of Hyunjin’s brother. _It’s not a big deal, _he repeats to himself. _There’s no reason for you to feel _this_ bad about it. _

He walks as quickly as he can through the stray cat room, somehow finding it in him to ignore their meows calling out to him and their tiny toe-beans scratching at their cages.

He stops at the door and looks at the only cat ignoring him. It’s a small black kitten curled up in the far corner of the cage. She’s not asleep, though. Her eyes are wide open, and watching Seungmin like he’s paint drying on a wall.

“Hi Hyunjin.” Seungmin squats next to the cage. “How are you?”

Hyunjin turns her small head away from him as if in reply.

Seungmin opens the cage. “Come on, you silly girl. What’s wrong?”

Hyunjin shuffles in her cage, craning her neck to look at Seungmin again.

Seungmin sticks one open palm into the cage. “It’s just me. Same old Seungmin.”

Hyunjin pads over slowly, before curling up against Seungmin’s palm. Seungmin lifts her out gently, kneeling down so he can rest her in his lap.

“Other people are gonna take care of you today,” Seungmin rubs the space between her ears. “So behave yourself, okay? Be nice to them.”

Hyunjin meows and looks up at him with her big green eyes.

“Actually, there are going to be a _lot _of other people,” Seungmin holds Hyunjin up so he can look her in the eyes. “I know you don’t like a lot of people, but you _cannot_ bite or scratch them, okay?”

Hyunjin hisses in reply.

“Come on, Hyunjin-”

“This is the last room, it’s where we keep the stray cats.” Mr. Tuan says, holding the door open for the Weevils. “See, Seungmin’s got… oh I forgot her name.”

“I thought you said you weren’t supposed to name them.” Felix frowns.

“Yeah, technically, but we name all of them anyway,” Mr. Tuan waves a hand dismissively. “What’s that one’s name again?”

“Her name’s H-” Seungmin looks down at the kitten currently standing alert with all her hairs on edge as she watches more boys enter the room than she’s seen in her entire life. Seungmin tries to rub her back to calm her down, but it’s not working. “-Heejin.”

Chaeyoung flicks the lights on.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Chaeyoung yells, jumping to hug Tzuyu like a koala on a eucalyptus. “THANK YOU SO MUCH!”

Tzuyu swings Chaeyoung around in her arms. “Happy birthday!”

Hyunjin tries to smile, but he’s lowkey wondering when he can put down the cake he’s holding, because it’s three layers and heavy as _hell. And this basement bar place is pretty fricking warm for a basement._

Chaeyoung clambers down from Tzuyu to tackle Hyunjin, who manages to just barely drop the cake onto the nearest table when she does.

“YOU GUYS ARE THE SWEETEST!”

“Urk.” Hyunjin thinks his rib just cracked.

Tzuyu gives him a stern look like, _You have 23 more ribs, bitch, hug her back._

Hyunjin pats Chaeyoung on the back gingerly. “Happy birthday, dude.”

“Hey Hyunjin!”

Hyunjin turns to the guy who’d called him. One of the seniors. He’s not great with names. “Yeah?”

“Is this your phone?” The guy holds up what looks like a phone after two sixteen-wheelers have rolled over it.

“Yeah.” Hyunjin frowns. “What hap-”

“Mirae stepped on it, she didn’t see it on the floor.” The guy hands Hyunjin his smashed phone and its charger, which has a bit of a footprint on it, too.

Hyunjin doesn’t know who Mirae is. _Probably a baby elephant, what the heck???_

“Come on, Hyunjin, let’s take a selfie,” Chaeyoung says, hugging Hyunjin’s arm.

He looks down at his smashed phone. “Uh…”

Chaeyoung pulls out her brand-new iPhone and flips the camera. She holds up a peace sign, so Hyunjin reluctantly follows her lead. He still smiles, though. It’s a reflex whenever he sees a camera.

“Thanks!” Chaeyoung grins at him before running off to another bunch of her friends that Hyunjin really can’t remember the names of.

Hyunjin totters along behind Tzuyu as she walks over to the tiny fridge filled with drinks. “Uh, Tzuyu, I’m uh, I’ve got to go-”

“_Now_?” Tzuyu frowns as she pulls out a six-pack of beer. “But the party hasn’t even started yet!”

“I have to go, my teammates-”

Tzuyu’s eyes widen to perfect circles just as one of their other friends starts blasting music over the house speakers. “You have training today? You didn’t say anything!”

“No, not training-”

“What?”

“Not training!”

“Bitch! Go to training! What the hell!” Tzuyu grabs Hyunjin by the shoulders and starts pushing him towards the door.

“Where are you guys going?” Chaeyoung asks, hopping away from another selfie.

“Hyunjin has training!” Tzuyu says.

“What!” Chaeyoung gasps and slaps Hyunjin on the arm.

Someone pauses the music at that moment.

“No I don’t!” Hyunjin shouts.

He feels all the eyes on him and blushes deeply, sinking against the wall like a vinyl decal of pure shame.

“Why didn’t you just say so!” Tzuyu laughs.

Hyunjin opens his mouth to say something else, but the music comes back on again to drown him out. Chaeyoung jumps and grabs his arm. “Let’s dance!”

Hyunjin feels physically torn, with Chaeyoung pulling on his arm like this, and his teammates waiting in the animal shelter…

But he really, _really_ loves this song.

Mark catches Jinyoung by the edge of his shirt. “Don’t go in there.”

“Why not?” Jinyoung scoffs.

“Seungmin’s mad.”

“Don’t tell me you, a grown man, are afraid of a teenage-”

Mark opens the door to the office a crack, until the hallway of the animal shelter is filled with the angry sounds of Seungmin smashing the shelter’s one keyboard to dust.

Jinyoung closes his mouth and the door.

“He was really looking forward to seeing your dumb brother.” Mark whispers.

“I know.”

“Hyunjin’s gonna have to come over here on his knees if he-”

“Bossman!” Someone yells, running over from the lobby. “Boooosssman!”

Mark turns to Jinyoung. “You or me?”

“Who knows.” Jinyoung shrugs.

Jisung comes around the corner, his wet sneakers barely gripping onto the tiled floor. He’s left _curiously_ brown footprints all the way down the hallway, and, Mark sighs as he thinks about it, probably all over the lobby, too.

“There are people!” Jisung bends over, out of breath.

Mark has to sigh again at the state of high school athletes these days. _What a boomer thought._ “What?”

The door to the office swings open. “Mr. Tuan, you have to see this, sir.” Seungmin says gravely.

The hairs on Mark’s forearms stand up. _What’s he being so respectful for?_

“What is it?”

Seungmin hands him a stack of papers. It takes Mark a very long moment to realize that they’re printouts of emails he’d probably ignored, and it takes Mark an ultra long moment to wonder why someone Seungmin’s age would even think of doing that.

_Good day Mr. Tuan, _the first email reads. _I hope this correspondence finds you in good health. _

_Good health? In this economy? Fat chance, _Mark thinks, flipping to the next one.

_Mr. Tuan, as per our previous email, we regret to inform you that the local government can no longer support…_

Mark frowns as he flips to the next email. The most recent one, from the day before, starts simply:

> _For your information: The City Animal Shelter will be permanently…_

“Mark.” Jinyoung tapping him gently on the arm.

Mark looks up from the email to find the four “official-looking” people coming down the hallway, barely being held off by Chan and Changbin sputtering excuses. Mark has never seen these people before.

“Mr. Tuan!” One of them says, a short man with a toothy smile. He extends his arms like he’s about to go in for a hug, so Mark steps back defensively, because _who the fuck is he?_

“Hello.”

The man must notice the wary and vacant expression on Mark’s face, because he says, “I’m Councilor Jung from the mayor’s office?”

“Oh. Of course.” Mark must’ve met him once or twice. Or maybe just once. _Fuck if I remember him. _“To what do we owe the pleasure, Mr. Jung?”

“_Councilor_ Jung,” The short man insists through a tight smile. “These are Mr. Eun, Mr. Kwon, and Mr. Lee from DSG Property Development Corporation. They’re looking to buy the property.”

Mark doesn’t know what to say to that. He looks back down at the emails in his hands, and things start piecing themselves together slowly and painfully, like a 1000-piece puzzle he’d never wanted to start in the first place.

“_Buy_? What’s going on?” Jinyoung asks quietly.

“I’m not really sure myself.” Mark whispers back.

“It’s nice to see people here _for a change_,” The councilor says loudly, giving Jinyoung and the Weevils irritated looks. “What brings all of you boys here today?”

“We lost a bet.” Jisung says.

Chan nudges him. “_Jisung_.”

“Our baseball team is doing volunteer work.” Changbin says curtly, looking past the councilor towards the other three men with a distrustful frown.

“That’s nice.” The councilor turns to Mark. “I hope you’re aware this won’t change anything. The mayor’s already made a decision based on the last report.”

Mark nods, head lowered in shame. He can feel Jinyoung and the Weevils looking at him for answers, and Seungmin shifting on his feet. _Maybe ignoring emails _doesn’t_ make the problems go away after all. Who knew._

Seungmin steps in front of the shelter manager, squaring up to the councilor. “You can’t close the animal shelter _for money_-!”

“Well, there’s no need to be angry with me, young man. It wasn’t my decision.” The councilor chuckles, clapping Seungmin on the arm. Seungmin flinches away, his scowl never faltering. “Back in my day it was considered rude to speak like that to your eld-”

“Councilor Jung.” Mark interrupts, just as rudely as he’d intended. “Do you still want that tour?”

The councilor looks taken aback, as if he’d expected Mark to take his side. _Dumb bitch, _Mark thinks with a half-smile. He puts an arm around Seungmin’s shoulders. “Seungmin might be a high schooler, but he’s been working at the shelter for longer than I have, so he knows the most about the facility.”

There’s a long silence that follows, punctuated only by Jisung’s loud breathing.

“A- Actually,” One of the other men behind the councilor says. “We don’t need a tour around the building, since we’re, eh, uh…”

“It’s not in the plans.” Another of the men says. “It’ll be torn down anyway.”

“Ah.” The councilor says. “Good! Is there anything else you need to see here, then?”

“No, thank you,” The first man says, after looking wistfully at a poster of a dog on the wall. “You can all get back to work.”

The councilor looks at Mark like he’s waiting for Mark to say something.

“We will, then.” Mark says. “I’d usually thank you, but I only do that for people who donate, adopt, or volunteer.”

He makes a sharp gesture towards the front door. “The exit’s the same way you came in.”

Seungmin slams the door to his room shut behind him. He dumps his bag on the floor, then goes straight for the nearest pillow. He stuffs his face into it and screams.

He’s just taken the pillow off his face when his door opens a crack.

“Hey? Seungmin?” Jimin peeks in. “I heard muffled screams, so I had to see if you were murdering someone or…”

“I’m fine, noona.”

“Okay, okay.” Jimin starts to slide out slowly. “But if you want to talk about it, I’m just studying in my room. Please interrupt me. _Please_.”

Seungmin gives her as much of a smile as he can. “Thanks.”

“No prob, lil guy.” Jimin closes the door gently.

Seungmin reaches for his phone.

> _2 new messages from Jinnie_.

Seungmin flips the phone facedown on his bedcover. Hyunjin can go screw himself.

He doesn’t usually let clothes from the outside touch his bed at all, but he’s had a fucking _day_ and he doesn’t have enough fucks left to give. He sighs, flopping facedown on the bedcover next to his phone.

He tries mentally listing the homework he has to do, as a kind of motivation to peel himself off the bed, but his limbs don’t move.

His phone starts buzzing.

_“What’s going on?” The Weevils’ coach had asked, pulling Mr. Tuan aside in a corner he must’ve thought was out of Seungmin’s earshot. Seungmin had gone back to the shelter’s one PC to deal with the rest of the unread emails, not that any of them could’ve been any worse than the ones Seungmin had found._

_“I’ve been ignoring emails like a fucking idiot, Jinyoung.”_

_“You do that with texts, too.”_

_Mr. Tuan had coughed. “Anyway, they’re closing the animal shelter because we don’t get much traffic. Probably because we’re a money sink, but most public services are, so who knows?”_

_“It’s a public service that’s not helping Mayor Jun’s reelection campaign.” Coach Park had said. _

Seungmin’s phone keeps buzzing. It’s near his arm, and starting to tickle him a little bit.

_“Is there anything we can do?”_

_“_We_? It’s my problem, Jinyoung, not yours.”_

_“We’re…” Coach Park had coughed then. “Any problem of yours is mine too. So what’re we gonna do about it?”_

_“I don’t know.” Mr. Tuan had lowered his voice then. “I’m more worried about Seungmin…”_

_Coach Park had lowered his voice much more, until all Seungmin could make out was, “…that DSG Property…”_

_“Yeah.”_

Seungmin grabs his phone and picks up. “What?” He asks irritably.

All he gets are giggles from the other end.

Seungmin holds the phone up to his face and squints at the caller ID. “Hyunjin?”

“H- Hi,” Hyunjin says, before bursting into another giggle fit.

Seungmin frowns. “Are you drunk?”

Hyunjin’s breaths are heavy on his phone’s microphone.

“Hyunjin?”

“I need to say something.” Hyunjin says, without even a little giggle. “To you.”

“What is it?”

Seungmin listens to Hyunjin’s breaths get slower and softer.

“Hyunjin?”

There’s a loud clatter, which makes Seungmin hold the phone at an arm’s length. He brings it back to his ear carefully.

“…Hello? Are you there? Hello?” A girl’s voice asks from the other end. “Uh, if you’re still there, sorry, Hyunjin’s kinda wasted, he didn’t mean to call you…”

“It’s all right.”

Seungmin hangs up and shuts his phone off.


	20. LORD JAE

Changbin gives his shoulders a roll as he steps up to the plate. Coach Wang had told him not to swing too eagerly, because the other team’s pitcher isn’t very consistent. Coach Park had told him to swing, because the other team’s pitcher only knows how to throw the ball straight down the line anyway.

Changbin takes a deep breath and lifts the bat. He hadn’t gotten any sleep, since his mother had gotten home late last night, only for his father to arrive home later. His father had accused her of spending too much time with her friends and not her family. His mother had accused him of cheating.

“Go Changbin!” Chan shouts from the dugout, as he does for everyone on the team. But when he does it for Changbin, it sounds forced.

“GOOO CHANGBIIIN!” Jisung yells from third base, causing the other team’s baseman to cover his ears.

_“Just go for it.”_

_“Don’t swing.” _

_“You should put your family first!”_

_“You’re one to talk!”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“You think I don’t know? How stupid do you think I am!”_

Changbin hears the ball whistle past him before smacking into the catcher’s glove. _I guess they’re not so bad, after all. Or I’m just worse._

“Strike!”

Changbin shakes his shoulders, but it’s as if they’re a bow strung so tightly it’s about to snap. He lifts the bat again and frowns at the other team’s pitcher.

The pitcher looks nervous. Changbin had overheard Hyunjoon and the others gossiping in the bus on the way here. Apparently the other team’s pitcher is a senior, too, and he’s vying for a scholarship at S_______ University.

“Strike!”

Changbin knows he ought to feel nervous, too. His life might not depend on this game like the other guy, but he should feel a little bit of something, right?

Changbin swings the bat.

The ball hits it with a loud ping.

Changbin hears the ball hit someone’s glove, but skids to first base anyway. Changbin nods politely when the umpire calls him out. As he turns back to the dugout, he catches a glimpse of the other team’s pitcher sighing with relief as he shifts the ball in his hand.

“It’s okay, Cap.” Felix says, shimmying over to give Changbin some space to stand. “You’ll get ‘em next time.”

Changbin’s heart perks up like it’d had a sip of its’ morning coffee. “Thanks.”

“Coach Wang, everyone can hear you.” Coach Park says, flicking the minibus’ turn signal aggressively.

The other coach does glance over the boys who, unlike themselves, are seated in almost complete silence, hands folded in their dusty laps. But he carries on anyway. “I’m just saying, this is a _team_ effort. We cannot be giving opposing advice and expect the kids to just- Oof!”

The bus had come to an abrupt halt, sending Coach Wang knocking into the seat in front of him.

Hyunjin barely muffles a snort.

Coach Wang scowls. “Did you do that _on purpose_?”

“Stop sign.” Coach Park shrugs, pointing at a sign by the side of the road.

“Jinyoung, if you _cannot_ behave professionally-”

“I’m not doing anything-”

“That’s the problem-”

“What do you expect me to do, just go with whatever you-”

Changbin’s had enough. He unclips his seat belt and stands up. “Stop it.”

“Sit down, Changbin.” Coach Wang says.

“You sit down.” Changbin says.

Coach Park snorts.

“You too, Coach Park.” Changbin says. “Both of you, just stop it.”

He sits back down and clips his seatbelt on.

Both coaches are still looking his way, too stunned to move, when a small truck behind them and starts honking their horn.

“Sorry.” Coach Park says, stepping on the gas again.

Felix is leaning against a wall, talking to Dongpyo about an anime they both like, when a blue car rolls up to the front steps of the school. “Is that your ride?”

“It’s my grandma, yeah.” Dongpyo says. He salutes Felix. “See you tomorrow, Mr. Felix sir!”

“See ya!” Felix waves at the freshman while the latter trots down the front steps, lugging a gym bag with a bat handle sticking out.

“Bye, Captain.” Dongpyo says, giving the gloomy figure sitting at the base of the front steps a polite bow.

Changbin acknowledges him with a curt nod.

A good-looking young guy in a tan jacket comes practically skipping down the sidewalk. Before Felix can wonder who he is, Chan flies past Felix carrying his own gym bag like it weighs a feather.

_Oh. It’s Chan’s boyfriend. _

“Sorry, Chan, were you waiting long?”

“No. We just got here.” Chan shakes his head so hard it seems like it might get unscrewed.

His boyfriend laughs as he takes Chan’s gym bag from him. “So where are we having lunch, yours?”

“Yeah, Mom’s prepared enough for a small army.”

“Great.”

Chan notices Felix is looking – Felix doesn’t look away quickly enough, but he wasn’t _staring_ at least – and starts waving. “Bye, Felix! See you next week!”

“Next week is tomorrow.” His boyfriend says gently.

“Oh. Tomorrow!” Chan waves.

“Bye!” Felix waves back.

“Bye Changbin,” Chan’s boyfriend says.

“Bye Changbin.” Chan echoes.

Felix watches Changbin nod to them, the same half-assed, half-dead greeting.

Jisung and Hyunjin walk past Felix arguing about cup noodle brands, while Coach Park walks behind them in uncharacteristic silence.

“Bye guys!” Felix says. “Bye, Coach Park.”

“See you at training tomorrow!” Hyunjin says.

“We’ll see him at school before then, dumbass.” Jisung says.

“You’re the dumbass.”

“Are your parents picking you up?” Coach Park asks.

“Yeah, they’re nearly here.”

“Okay, good. See you tomorrow, Felix.”

“Bye, Coach.”

Felix watches Hyunjin and Jisung nudge and argue with each other all the way down the front steps, stopping only to say quick goodbyes to Changbin, who again only nods. Coach Park stops and asks Changbin the same question he’d asked Felix. Changbin gives him the same answer, and the rest of the conversation goes pretty much the exact same way.

Changbin looks up as Coach Park’s blue car zooms past, then goes back to staring at his phone.

Felix sees his dad’s white car coming down the street – _tearing up the asphalt_ is a better way to describe it – so he grabs his duffel bag and starts making his way down. He can’t help but peek over Changbin’s shoulder as he gets down to the bottom step.

Changbin’s got some match-3 game with a timer open, but he’s just staring at it as the seconds tick down.

Felix’s fingers twitch. If it had been him, he’d have been feverishly trying to match anything and everything on the screen until the game crashed.

Changbin must notice the shadow over him, because he looks up at Felix with a blank expression.

“Sorry, I wasn’t-” Felix shakes his head almost as hard as Chan had earlier. “I mean…”

“Your dad’s here.”

“Yeah, I…” Felix pretends he can’t see his dad craning his neck to try to see what Felix is up to. “How are you getting home?”

“I’m taking the bus.”

Felix feels kinda funny down to his toes. “Do you need a lift somewhere?”

“No thanks.”

“Are you sure?” Felix asks, talking to the top of Changbin’s head, because he’d gone back to staring at the _Better luck next time!_ screen on his phone. “We could-”

“No thanks, Felix.” Changbin says more firmly.

“Okay.” Felix says. “Sorry for bothering you.”

He turns and walks away as quickly as he can, climbing into the passenger’s seat of his dad’s car like he’d just robbed a bank. “Hi Dad. Let’s go. Please.”

“Is that Changbin?”

Felix should _never_ have introduced _either_ of his parents to Changbin. “Yes.”

Felix’s dad drives right up in front of Changbin. He rolls down the window. “Hey Changbin! Wanna join us for lunch? Felix’s Papa’s making ribs.”

Felix ducks down in his seat, shielding his face with one hand to avoid Changbin’s irritated gaze. “Dad, he’s-”

“Yes please, thank you.” Changbin gets up, dusting off the back of his jeans.

Felix frowns at him. _But you just said…_

Changbin opens the back door and gets in. Felix half turns in his seat to find the captain almost smiling back at him.

Felix is confused, to say the least.

“BAAAAAAABE!” Felix’s dad yells as soon as they enter the apartment. “PLEASE TELL ME YOU COOKED EXTRA!”

Changbin doesn’t know why he’s here at all, but this is the biggest, most beautiful apartment he’s ever seen, and the smell he assumes is coming from the kitchen is delicious. He sets his shoes neatly on the shelf, trying not to think about how much each of the sneakers next to his cost.

“You remember Felix’s friend Changbin?”

“Seo Changbin, of course!” Felix’s papa wipes one hand on a towel over his shoulder and extends his hand to Changbin. “How are you doing?”

“Fine-” Changbin tries to shake it, but the giant man pulls him in for a hug. Changbin’s not complaining. The hug is nice. Changbin wishes it would last a little longer.

_What are you doing here? Mom’s going to throw a fucking fit if she finds out you were getting free lunch from almost complete strangers. _

“They’re not cooked yet?” Felix’s dad asks, squinting through the oven door.

“No, I dunno, it’s taking a while.” Felix’s papa says. He gives Felix and Changbin an apologetic smile. “I know you guys must be hungry, but do you mind waiting for a little bit? We’ve got some soggy nachos in the fridge if you really need to snack on something.”

“It’s fine.” Changbin says.

“Maybe you could show him your setup, Felix.” Felix’s dad says, rummaging around the fridge.

_Record scratch. Freeze frame. _

_I guess you’re wondering how my crush ended up in my room, SITTING ON MY BED. _

_AlkvjJDANLCNSAKCNLDNKLSANVDALVNKAVLNKD-_

“Felix?”

Felix blinks. “Y- Yeah?”

“You were saying something.”

“Was I?”

“Yeah.” Changbin laughs, bouncing on the edge of Felix’s mattress. Half of Felix is relieved that Changbin’s actually laughing. The other half of Felix craves sweet death.

“Uh, anyway,” Felix scratches his head. He makes an awkward flourish with one hand. “This is my room.”

“Yeah.” Changbin nods with another little laugh. “We’ve gotten that far.”

“Oh, good… Well, this is my computer.” Felix rests a hand on one of his three monitors.

“Wait, that’s a computer?” Changbin’s eyes widen. “_All _of that?”

“Well this is just one of the monitors, and the CPU’s down here… but yeah.” Felix flicks it on. Changbin leans forward and watches the three monitors come to life like a cat staring at a laser dot. He’s completely mesmerized, and Felix wishes he could have a photo of Changbin’s face right now. _For reasons. _

Changbin’s mouth is open in a tiny little o, and it’s the cutest thing Felix had ever had the privilege to see. “This is _more_ than 1080p, isn’t it?”

“I think it can go over 1080p, yeah…” Felix frowns. “4K, I think? Whatever that means.”

“4,320 probably.” Changbin says. “All the resolutions are multiples of 16, right?”

Felix stares at Changbin with just as much awe as Changbin had given the monitor. “Duh… dunno.”

Changbin’s hopped off the bed to look closer at Felix’s computer. “So what do you do when you have to work outside? Or at school?”

“I’ve got a laptop, but I don’t use it much these days.” Felix says, nudging the laptop case by the foot of his bed. “I prefer bringing the iPad around.”

Changbin suddenly looks much less excited. _What did I say wrong? Do I sound like I’m bragging? I’M NOT, CAP, I SWEAR I’M NOT!_

Felix notices the way Changbin’s looking at Felix’s laptop bag. It’s kind of like the way his dads look at their old college yearbooks.

_Oh._

“Did you ever get your laptop fixed, Cap?’

“No.” Changbin looks away from the bag to give Felix what he’d probably meant to be a good-natured smile.

“You can borrow mine.” Felix says.

“No, I couldn’t.”

“Really! I never use it.” Felix picks up the bag and holds it out to Changbin. “I can’t imagine what it’s like writing papers and stuff without a computer-”

“There are internet cafés.” Changbin replies gruffly.

Felix stops and hugs the laptop to his chest. “Sorry.”

“Boys! Lunch is ready!” Felix’s papa shouts from outside the room.

“Okay! Be there in a minute!” Felix looks at Changbin, who’s now staring at the carpet. “Let’s go?”

Changbin nods. “Okay.”

“Here.” Felix’s papa says, choosing a video somewhere in his phone’s camera roll. “This is Felix’s last tap dance recital at his old school. The song is called _Too Hot To Handle, _it’s one of my favorites of all time-”

“_Papa.” _Felix says, ducking his head so low to the table that he’s almost face down in his smashed potatoes. “Dad, please stop him.”

“Come on, Felix, he’s just really proud of it.” Felix’s dad says, looking over Changbin’s shoulder and snorting. “Besides, I think you look great in white flared pants, Ginger.”

“Ginger?” Changbin asks, frowning at the video.

“There weren’t enough girls in my dance school or something like that.” Felix mutters, cringing at the tinny music playing over his papa’s speakers. “So I had to be Ginger Rogers.”

“Who’s that?” Changbin asks.

Felix’s papa gasps, but Felix’s dad just throws a piece of potato at him and smiles at Changbin. “She’s a famous tap dancer from a while back.”

“The _best_ tap dancer.” Felix’s papa corrects him. “_Ever_.”

Changbin nods, but he’s watching the video intently, with that hypnotized-cat laser-focus that Felix loves seeing on him. His brows are furrowed like the video’s a puzzle he can’t seem to work out.

“Why’s your face like that, Changbin?” Felix’s dad asks, laughing.

“Felix is _really_ good!” Changbin says. “This is amazing.”

“I took classes for a couple years, but I’m not-”

“Do you still dance?” Changbin asks.

Felix feels both his parents staring at him when he says, “No.”

“Why not?”

Felix pushes the meat on his plate around a bit. _People give me shit for enough reasons._

“I don’t feel like it anymore.” Felix says. “Besides, I really like baseball, even if I’m not that good at it.”

“You’re good.” Changbin says, in the sort of tone that says it’s not up for debate.

When Felix and his dad drop Changbin off at his house later that afternoon, Felix is convinced he’s just witnessed some kind of blip in reality. _Changbin has other friends. He won’t hang out with you again. _

But the next day after training, Changbin asks to hitch a ride home with Felix, who lives clear across the city.

“You still haven’t shown me what GTA is.” Is Changbin’s excuse.

“You still haven’t _what_?” Felix’s dad squawks out, turning away from the road for a dangerous few seconds.

So Changbin spends the rest of the afternoon at Felix’s house following traffic rules on _Grand Theft Auto_. Felix had never realized before then that the stop lights in the game actually changed color, until he’d watched Changbin slow the car to a stop at a red light.

“Cap, you’re _supposed_ to beat the red light.”

“I thought I was just supposed to deliver these drugs.” Changbin says, tapping his fingers on the controller while waiting for the light to turn green. “The drug dealer didn’t say anything about traffic laws.”

“You’re supposed to break _all _the laws.”

“Then the police will come after me.” Changbin says, his frown going deeper just as the light turns green. Changbin accelerates the car to a safe speed, remaining firmly within the lines on the road.

“You _want_ the police to come after you.”

“What?” Changbin scoffs. “If I get arrested, I won’t be able to deliver these drugs.”

Felix sighs. “You know what, you do you. Be a friendly neighborhood drug deliveryman.”

“Yeah. Oh, excuse me,” Changbin says, swerving around a man who’d walked out onto the road. “Use the crosswalk, you animal.”

The man pulls out a gun and starts firing at Changbin’s character.

“Okay this guy is fucking rude,” Changbin grumbles, pulling a sharp U-turn.

“What are you doing?” Felix frowns, watching Changbin’s HP drop with each shot.

“I’m going to talk to- Oh crap.” Changbin hits the brakes too late, and his car mows the man with the gun over. One star appears on the corner of the screen, and police sirens start blaring. “Was he a cop? Did I just run over a cop? Shit.”

“Drive, Changbin, drive!” Felix yells, reaching over to smash the accelerate button.

“But I deserve to be arrested!” Changbin yells back. “I killed a cop!”

“Fuck the police!” Felix says, diving across the bed to grab the controller from Changbin’s hands. “They won’t arrest you, they’ll just shoot you!”

Changbin grimaces as Felix drives the car over a bunch of people on the sidewalk. “I don’t like this game.”

Changbin braces himself as he walks up the stairs to their apartment that evening. He hadn’t meant to stay until dinner, but Felix’s papa is a great cook.

_Even if he weren’t, at least the food’s already there and I don’t have to cook it. _

His dad’s sitting on a plastic chair by the front door, holding a bottle of beer. “You’re just coming home now?”

“Yeah.” Changbin enters the apartment before his dad can say anything more about it. He finds his mom at the dining table, staring at what looks like a lukewarm mug of tea. She’s still wearing her uniform and her makeup, though it’s gone a bit streaky down her cheeks.

Changbin pulls up a chair. “Have you had dinner, Mom?”

“No.”

Changbin gets up to start rummaging through the cabinets. “What about Dad?”

His mother scoffs. “He’s probably had dinner _downstairs_.”

“What-”

“I’m going to turn in early.” His mom pushes her chair back. “Don’t forget to lock the front door.”

“Dad’s still outside.”

“Hmph.” Changbin’s mom slams the door to her bedroom behind her.

Changbin looks down at the pack of instant noodles he’s holding.

“Hey Dad?” Changbin props the front door open with one shoulder. “Have you had dinner?”

“Yeah, I did on my way home from work. What about you?”

“I had dinner at my friend’s place.”

“Good.” His dad reaches down into a crate that Changbin hadn’t noticed earlier and pulls out another bottle of beer. “Want one?”

“Okay.”

His dad bites the cap off the second bottle before handing it to Changbin. “Is this the same friend as yesterday?”

“Yeah.” Changbin takes a sip. He doesn’t know why anyone would like beer, but he, like many others, he guesses, can tolerate it.

“That’s good.” His dad takes a sip of beer, looking thoughtfully at the closed door like he can see through it. “Did your mom say anything?”

“About what?”

“About me.”

“No.” Changbin drags a wooden crate over from the end of the hallway to sit on it.

His dad nods slowly.

Changbin takes another sip of beer. He knows he has school the next day and he’s still got a Math quiz to study for, but his conscience won’t let him leave his dad drinking out here with nothing but the wind whistling between the apartment buildings to keep him company.

“She thinks I’m cheating on her.”

Changbin rocks his crate back and forth, tipping it with his heels.

“Are you?”

“Of course not.” His dad says, as if Changbin had asked him if the sky was down and the earth was up. “But she won’t believe me.”

“Why not?”

“She doesn’t think a man and a woman can be just friends.” Changbin’s dad takes a sip of beer. “I didn’t used to think so, either, but it’s so hard to find friends when you’re my age. You find them where you can.”

Changbin wipes some of the condensation off the side of his bottle. “It’s hard to find friends at my age, too.”

The wind picks up, howling in the cracks between their apartment building and the next. It plucks a few clothes off their neighbor’s line and drops them onto the street below.

“I’m glad you have that friend of yours, Changbin.” His dad says, staring at the t-shirts and underwear in crumpled heaps on the street.

“So am I.” Changbin watches the wind steal another of their neighbor’s boxers right off the line.

“That doesn’t make any sense!” Changbin says, waving his controller angrily at the screen. “How was he able to build up enough momentum for that punch right after standing up?”

“Cap… this is a _game_.” Felix says as they return to the character select screen.

“Whoever made this game has never gotten into a fight.” Changbin grumbles, before adding, “Good for them.”

Felix gives the captain a worried look. “Are you gonna elaborate on that or…?”

“I got into a lot of fights when I was younger.” Changbin says, calmly selecting a panda for the next match. He notices Felix’s increasingly worried look. “Just normal kid fights, you know.”

“Were you the one who beat other kids up or the one who got beat up?”

Changbin turns to Felix with a frown, even though the match has started. “You _both_ get beat up in a fight, Felix.”

“Not where I came from, I guess.” Felix says.

It’s Changbin’s turn to look worried. But he’s not the type to ask Felix to explain further, so he doesn’t.

Felix’s character starts kicking Changbin’s.

“Hey! I wasn’t looking!” Changbin whines, pressing all the buttons at his disposal.

“You snooze you lose, Cap.” Felix grins, finishing Changbin’s character off without a scratch.

_PERFECT!_ The screen reads.

“Hey! Dongpyo!” Felix says, jogging up to the freshman. He realizes that Dongpyo’s standing opposite Sunwoo, who’s holding up a baseball, ready to throw it. “Oh. I guess we’re changing it up today?”

Dongpyo nods so anxiously that Felix frowns.

“Cap wanted everyone to try having different partners today. And Coach Wang actually agreed. It’s a miracle.” Sunwoo shrugs. “Heads up, freshie!”

“Yessir!” Dongpyo lifts his glove to catch the ball.

Felix starts pacing down the field, looking for someone who hasn’t got a new partner yet, but everyone seems to have shuffled around while he had been in the bathroom. _Oh fuck this, _Felix thinks as he trudges over to where Coach Park and Changbin are pulling bats and balls out of bags.

Changbin looks up with a smile. “Hey Felix. Got a partner yet?”

“Nope.”

“Cap here doesn’t have a partner yet.” Coach Park says, emptying out a bag full of baseballs onto the grass. He tosses one ball to Changbin.

“Oh, he doesn’t want _me_,” Changbin laughs, but the corners of his mouth curl up in this way that Felix can neither describe nor replicate and it _hurts_ him. _Why is he doing that? What is he doing anyway? And why is it doing this to _me_?_

“He doesn’t seem to have a choice.” Coach Park says. He opens his mouth to say something else, but Chan is calling out to him.

“Coach Park! Coach Wang wanted to ask you something!” Chan shouts from the middle of the field.

“Then he should’ve just asked me, right?” Coach Park mutters, rolling his eyes. But he straightens up to jog to the other end of the field anyway. “You two better start before Coach Wang notices.”

“Yes, Coach.” Changbin says, tossing the ball from one hand to the other. “Sorry in advance, Felix.”

_WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?_

“O- Okay.”

“It was like we were playing _fetch, _Dad.” Felix laughs. He starts miming the situation out the best he can from the confines of his seatbelt. “He would throw it, then I’d have to run a fucking mile, then give it back to him, then he’d throw it and I’d have run another mile-”

“Maybe you’re just bad at catching.” Felix’s dad says.

“He isn’t!” Changbin protests from the back seat, laughing. “I just have horrible aim.”

“Then it’s a good thing you didn’t get into archery.” Felix’s papa says from the passenger’s seat.

“There would’ve been casualties if I did, Uncle Matt.” Changbin snorts.

“Maybe that’s how they’d score it.” Felix’s papa says. “Ancient Mongolian-style.”

Felix tries not to look like he’s staring, but he watches Changbin laugh so hard his face turns bright pink.

“Wait, wait, wait, everyone hold up,” Felix’s dad says, tapping the steering wheel to get everyone’s attention. “I forgot the way to Changbin’s house.”

“How could you have _forgotten_-”

“Shut up, babe. I had to check fifty-three shitty term papers today, my brain is not what it used to be.” Felix’s dad says, slowing the car down for the first time in Felix’s entire life. “Where do I turn left?”

Felix’s papa sighs. “Maybe if you hadn’t put off checking those papers until the last minute-”

“I know, I know! This happens every semester.” Felix’s dad groans. “Changbin, where do I turn left?”

“You missed it.” Changbin says. “It was at that 7-eleven we passed by.”

“And you didn’t say a damn thing?” Felix’s dad turns all the way around in his chair to pretend to be angry with Changbin.

Changbin laughs. “Sorry, Uncle Jae.”

“Perhaps I am revoking your right to call me Uncle.” Felix’s dad says, pulling the car into a U-turn so illegal it’s reminiscent of Changbin’s one try at GTA. “From now on, you can only call me Lord Jae.”

“Dad, what the hell?” Felix snorts.

“_King_ Jae.” Felix’s dad corrects himself. “Call me King Jae.”

“You missed the turn again, Your Majesty.” Felix’s papa says.

“You guys are supposed to tell me where to turn _before _we get there!” Felix’s dad groans as he pulls into another illegal U-turn.

“Turn left-” Changbin starts, but Felix’s dad turns the car so sharply that they’re all thrown to the opposite wall. Or rather, Changbin and Felix’s papa hit the wall, and Felix slams into Changbin’s side.

“-at the next left.” Changbin finishes, but they’re already on the wrong road.

“DAMMIT!” Felix’s dad cries.

Felix laughs so hard his sides hurt.

“Changbin! Changbin!”

Changbin notices that Chanhee’s snapping his fingers in front of his face. Changbin laughs and swats it away gently. “What’s up?”

“Who are you and what have you done with our Seo Changbin.” Chanhee gasps dramatically, grabbing Changbin by the shoulders and giving him a rough shake.

“What?” Changbin makes a face. “What do you mean?”

“Back me up on this one, Mina.” Chanhee says. “Normal Changbin would’ve fucking punched me if I snapped my fingers in his face.”

“Then why’d you do it, dumbass?” Mina rolls her eyes.

“Because! There’s something wrong with him!” Chanhee shakes Changbin again.

Mina pries Chanhee’s hands off Changbin’s shoulders. She winks at Changbin. “When you’re ready to tell us who it is, I want to know, okay?”

Changbin laughs, shaking his head as his ears redden. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Oh my god, not you too.” Chanhee slumps over in his chair like a theater actor who’d been fake stabbed.

“What?”

“Mina has a crush on someone.” Chanhee narrows his eyes at Mina. “But she won’t tell me who it is.”

“Why is it any of your business?” Mina sticks her tongue out at him.

“Because if he’s not good enough for you, I will say so,” Chanhee says. “And if he is good enough, then I’ll set you up with him.”

“Oh wow, as if _you’d_ ever do that.”

“Why don’t you believe-”

The door swings open. “Good morning, class.”

“Everyone stand up and greet Teacher Park.” Chanhee says, rapping his desk with a pencil. He’s standing as straight as a soldier, with an expression so dead serious that Mina and Changbin burst out laughing.

“Seo Changbin.” Teacher Park says. “Can we talk after class?”

“Y- Yes, sir.” Changbin lowers his head.

‘Sorry,’ Mina mouths at him, still grinning at Chanhee’s face.

“You wanted to talk to me, Teacher Park?”

Jinyoung nods, but looks pointedly at the girls still talking at the back of the classroom. “Let’s wait for them to file out.”

He notices Changbin’s frown and says, “No, it’s not anything super serious.”

“Oh. I thought I failed the exam.” Changbin laughs.

“_You_? Fail the exam?” Jinyoung hears the door close behind the two girls. “I just wanted to ask what the guys think of Coach Wang.”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you guys think he’s doing a good job?”

Changbin shrugs. “He’s doing the best he can.”

Jinyoung studies Changbin’s face for a moment. “I was _not_ expecting that answer from you.”

Changbin shrugs again, hands in his pockets, easygoing smile on his face. “I think we have to try harder to work with Coach Wang is all.”

Jinyoung rolls his eyes. “I guess your relationship trouble is out of the way, then?”

“No, Coach, they’re still definitely there.” Changbin says, but he’s still smiling anyway.

“This is uh, a project I’ve been working on for a while now...” Felix says, getting out of his computer chair to slide it over to Changbin. He clambers onto another chair he’d dragged in from the dining table. “The game is Minecraft, by the way.”

“I know Minecraft.” Changbin says.

“Really?” Felix lifts his eyebrows. “I thought you didn’t play games on your PC.”

“I don’t.” Changbin shrugs. “I watch stuff when I can’t sleep.”

Felix’s heart skips a beat. “Like, livestreams?”

“Sometimes.” Changbin cocks his head to one side. “What’re you building here?”

Felix sighs. _I guess he doesn’t watch _my_ livestreams. _

“It’s the city.” Felix says. “Here’s school, and here’s the stadium, and uh, that one grocery that always smells like fish…”

Felix trails off, watching Changbin scan the model of the city in silence. _Does he like it? _Changbin skims past all of Felix’s hard work, up the mountain – _I have to fix those trees sometime_ – and up to the university. Felix thinks Changbin will stop there, maybe he’s just having a sentimental high school senior moment, but Changbin just keeps on zooming past the buildings, further and further until he reaches the edge of the world.

“That’s the end of it.” Felix says, reaching over to steer the camera view away from the hazy bluish expanse beyond.

“It’s a lot of work.” Changbin says, spinning absently in the chair, looking up at the glow-in-the-dark dinosaurs on Felix’s ceiling. “You could’ve made any other city.”

“I like our city.” Felix says. “Don’t you?”

“No.”

“But Dad-”

“You can_not_ tell him.” Felix’s dad says, head raised as he pulls the car over. The fender’s dragging on the road, and as the car climbs the short incline into the auto shop, it scrapes against the ground with a painfully loud screech.

Felix sighs as he unclips his seatbelt. “He’s going to find out you used your credit card-”

“Not if I pay in cash.” Felix’s dad says, reaching into the glove compartment. He pulls out a curiously thick brown envelope.

“Dad, what the-”

“Professor Park!”

Felix looks up to see Changbin’s dad – for lack of a better word – waddling towards them. He’s tough-looking, built guy with kinda short legs so _yes_, he does waddle. Felix wonders if Changbin’s going to waddle too, when he’s older.

“Hi Mr. Seo.” Felix’s dad says sheepishly, standing in front of his fender, as though that would block the fact it’s barely hanging on by a thread.

“What’ve you gotten yourself into this time, Professor?” Mr. Seo laughs, peeking around Felix’s dad to look at the car. He lets out a low whistle. “What happened to the other guy?”

“It was a post.” Felix’s dad admits, head lowered. He notices the amused grin on Mr. Seo’s face and adds, “It came out of nowhere!”

“Posts don’t move, Professor.”

Felix has to turn to the side to hide his laugh from his dad.

“By the way, Mr. Seo, this is my son Felix.” Felix’s dad takes him by the shoulders to present him to Changbin’s dad.

Mr. Seo looks at Felix for a very long and confusing moment.

“Nice to meet you, Felix.” Mr. Seo says at last, extending one slightly grimy hand to Felix, who shakes it gingerly. “Where do you go to school?”

“W------ High.” Felix says. “I’m actually teammates with your son Changbin.”

“Oh, really?” Mr. Seo grimaces. “I’m sorry, I don’t know all the boys in the team anymore.”

“It’s okay.” Felix says. “I just joined last year.”

Mr. Seo nods, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“I uh, I heard Changbin’s doing a great job as captain.” Felix’s dad says in a desperate attempt to break the silence.

“Huh?” Changbin’s dad frowns. “He’s the captain?”

Felix looks up at his dad with a confused frown. His dad shakes his head quickly, as if to dismiss whatever questions Felix might’ve wanted to ask.

“Ah, about my car, Mr. Seo,” Felix’s dad starts. “Do I get a discount if I pay in cash or…”

Changbin’s taking ramyun off the stove when his dad comes in. His mom, who had been sitting at the table with a no-longer-warm cup of tea, stands up the second he does.

“Mom,” Changbin says gently. “Can you please have dinner first?”

His mom frowns at him, then at his dad, then back to him. “You I don’t mind having dinner with. But _him_-”

“I’ve already had something to eat, don’t worry about me.” Changbin’s dad says, walking over to the fridge.

“Where?” Changbin’s mom asks. “And _with whom_?”

Changbin’s dad pulls out a can of beer and opens it, acting like he hadn’t heard a single thing. He takes a long sip before smiling at Changbin. “Why didn’t you tell me you were captain this year?”

“He did, you probably just weren’t listening.” Changbin’s mom grumbles, stirring her tea up with the bag.

“How did you find out?” Changbin asks, moving the pot of ramyun to the center of the table.

“I met one of your teammates at the shop today.” Changbin’s dad says. “They’d gotten into an accident and their car-”

“Who was it?” Changbin nearly drops the pot. “Are they okay?”

“They’re fine, we just have to replace their fender.” Changbin’s dad says.

“Who was it?” Changbin’s mom asks again, patting Changbin on the arm.

“Professor Park and his son.” Changbin’s dad looks at Changbin’s mom for the first time Changbin’s seen in weeks. “Did you know that he has a son?”

Changbin’s mom looks off at the fridge. “No.”

“Do you think it’s really _his_ son or-”

“I don’t care.” Changbin’s mom says sharply. “We don’t even know him.”

Changbin’s been stirring the ramyun, wondering who among his teammates has a professor for a dad. _Oh. Right._

“Felix?” Changbin asks.

“Yes, there, that’s the kid’s name.” Changbin’s dad snaps his fingers. “Felix. Scrawny kid, lots of freckles?”

Changbin frowns. “I wouldn’t call him _scrawny_.”

Changbin’s mom hands her son chopsticks and a spoon, glances at her husband, then gets herself a set of utensils without saying anything else. Changbin thanks her with a nod and sits down to have dinner.

Changbin’s dad pulls a chair back, and the scraping of its’ legs against the floor is deafening in their nearly silent house.

Changbin’s mom glares at him as if to ask him, _What do you think you’re doing?_

“That Professor’s always getting into some accident or the other.” Changbin’s dad takes a sip of beer. “Must not be a very good driver.”

“He’s all right.” Changbin shrugs, slurping up a noodle he’d coiled onto his spoon. Then he shrugs again. “Actually, he’s a pretty horrible driver, I worry about them all the time.”

Changbin’s mom takes a dainty sip of the soup, the sort that doesn’t smudge lipstick. “How do you know?”

“I’ve hitched a ride home from them a couple times.”

“Professor Park?” Changbin’s dad lifts both eyebrows. “He lives around _here_?”

“No, their apartment’s on the other side of the bridge.” Changbin tries to pick up a bunch of noodles, but most of them slip out between his chopsticks. “But Felix and his dad- the professor, they always offer me a lift home so...”

He smiles as he slurps up the noodles.

“Really?” Changbin’s mom asks. Her eyebrows are starting to arch downwards, but Changbin can’t imagine why. “Since when?”

“I dunno, a while now?” Changbin leans over the pot to drink some more soup.

“Is he the one you had dinner with the other day?” Changbin’s dad asks.

“Yeah.” Changbin picks up another bunch of noodles and dumps it on his spoon. “His other dad, not the professor, he’s a really good cook.”

“You went to their house?” Changbin’s mom asks.

“You did _what_?” Changbin’s dad asks, though it’s more of a bellow coming from him.

“I’ve had dinner at their place a couple of times.” Changbin says casually enough, but he doesn’t like the way his parents are looking at him.

They exchange glances, and they seem to understand each other, which both scares and comforts Changbin somehow.

“Do your other friends know?” Changbin’s mom asks.

“I don’t know, I guess my teammates know I hang out with Felix-”

“Don’t do that anymore.” Changbin’s dad cuts in. He lowers his empty beer can onto the table, rattling the entire bowl of ramyun.

Changbin lowers his spoon. “What? Why?”

“It’s not that I… but you know…” A vein is starting to bulge on Changbin’s dad’s neck out of frustration. “Other people talk.”

Changbin makes a face. “_What_?”

“Professor Park is gay.” Changbin’s mom says. “You know that?”

“Of course.” Changbin says. “He doesn’t really make a secret of it.”

“I don’t- _We_ don’t have a problem with that,” Changbin’s dad says, casting one look at Changbin’s mom before he goes on, “But other people do.”

Changbin’s mom shakes her head. “We just don’t want people gossiping about you, Changbin.”

“That doesn’t make any sense!” Changbin scowls. “You don’t want me to hang out with Felix because his parents are gay?”

“No, it’s other people who might misunderstand-”

Changbin smacks his chopsticks flat onto the table. “There’s _nothing_ to misunderstand!”

“_Don’t talk to your mother like that!_”

Changbin forgets what he was about to say and stares at his dad. His mom is staring, too.

Changbin’s dad is a deep, beetroot color as he kicks his chair back and stands up. He tosses the empty can in the recycling, then stomps all the way to the front door and out of the house.

“Please listen to us.” Changbin’s mom says once the door slams behind Changbin’s dad. “We’re just looking out for you.”

Changbin pushes his chair back.

“Changbin.” His mom says. “People already have enough reasons to look down on you. You’re poor, you’re small, your dad’s a lazy…” She clears her throat. “Don’t give them any more.”

Changbin places his utensils in the sink before turning back to his mom. “Felix is my friend. I don’t care what other people think.”

He starts walking towards his room.

“Changbin! Seo Changbin, get back here!”


	21. “Eat this, you son of a bitch.”

_Half a year earlier_

“Get back here! I’m not done with you!”

Changbin opens his eyes. He hadn’t been sleeping. He’d been watching a livestream until his phone had run out of battery, and now he’s been trying to lie still and hope for the best.

It’s not working.

“Why? What else is there to talk about?” His mother shouts. “It’s _my_ money!”

Changbin lifts his pillow over his head to cover his ears, but he can still hear the muffled shouting from the next room.

He hears a door slam.

Then another door opens, much closer.

“Seo Changbin. Give me your laptop.”

Changbin slides the pillow off his head, sitting up slowly. “What?”

His mom’s silhouetted against the dim hall light. “Give me your laptop.”

“Why?” Changbin rubs his eyes. He hadn’t been sleeping, but his mom doesn’t know that. “What’s going-”

“I need to print my hotel booking.”

Changbin sits up all the way and flicks the light on. His mom’s face is red and puffy, and her nose is running. He’s shocked for a second – she doesn’t look bad, but never in his entire life has he ever seen his mother cry. She wouldn’t let him.

“Give me the laptop, Seo Changbin. _Now_.”

Changbin reaches for his desk, but his mom gets there before she does. She pulls the lid open so roughly that Changbin feels a very small heart attack come on.

“Mom, please don’t-”

His mother bangs on the keyboard with one hand. “Why is it taking so long?”

“It’s old, mom, it’s not-”

“_WHAT ARE YOU DOING?_”

Changbin’s dad is standing in the doorway, taking up almost the breadth of the entire frame.

Changbin’s mom doesn’t even look his way. She grabs Changbin by the sleeve. “Changbin, go and print this-”

“What-”

“Don’t play stupid, go print this. _Now_.” Changbin’s mom hands him his laptop without unplugging it. The charger detaches with a sickening crack.

“What’s that?”

Changbin’s caught standing between his parents, laptop cradled precariously in his arms. “I don’t-”

Changbin’s dad takes the laptop by the corner of the screen and frowns at it. His face shifts colors as he reads it, darkening even in the dim light. “What the…”

Changbin’s mom pulls the laptop away from him by the opposite corner, dumping it into Changbin’s arms. “Go print this, Changbin, _now_.”

Changbin does try to take a step forward, but his dad blocks the way.

“For the last time, you’re _not_ going!” Changbin’s dad shouts, smacking the laptop out of Changbin’s hands. “We don’t have the money for stupid trips for no reason, you selfish-!”

“And whose fault is that?” Changbin’s mom steps past Changbin, who’d dropped on all fours to try to catch his laptop. He doesn’t.

Changbin’s dad does look at him for a second, but only a second before saying, “You knew you weren’t marrying a rich man!”

“No! But we should be richer than when we started out! Everyone else is! It’s just _you_-!”

Changbin uses his hands to sweep all the bits of plastic and screen into a pile, though he knows it’s hopeless. The laptop had hit the corner of his desk on the way down, before landing on another bad corner on the tiled floor with a crunch that made Changbin shudder. 

“I told you, business isn’t good this year!”

“It _never_ is! And yet you keep giving every damn person who walks into the shop free service-”

“They’re my _friends_!”

“Is _everyone_ your friend? Oh, good for you, you have so many friends-”

“At least my friends are good for me, they’re not like yours-”

Changbin picks up the corner of his laptop screen off the floor, placing it back where it’s supposed to be.

“There’s nothing wrong with my friends!”

“They’re nasty social climbers-”

“At least they _want_ something, Dongho,” Changbin’s mom scoffs. “You’ve never wanted anything!”

“I’m happy with what I have!” Changbin’s dad yells. “You should be too!”

Changbin lowers what’s left of his laptop onto the tiled floor. The corner of the screen he’d just replaced falls off and hits the tiles with a quiet plink that only he hears.

_Present_

Changbin wakes up hearing voices in the next room. Actually, he wakes up to his alarm, but once he rolls over and turns it off, he hears his mom’s voice from the next room,

“You don’t pay enough attention to your son!”

_It’s 6 in the fucking morning, _is Changbin’s first thought of the day, which, he sighs, is decidedly going to be a bad one.

“You’re supposed to-”

“Don’t start on that again, I’m not going to quit my job just because-”

“I wasn’t even asking-”

“You’re _always_-”

Changbin gets up and folds his blanket, lining each of the corners up with robotic precision, just so he can kind of tune out his parents.

He takes out his uniform – they’re wearing the old uniform for today’s match, upon request of the opponents’ captain.

_“Anything’s better than the fucking salmon one.” Minho had said over the phone (Jisung’s phone). _

_“Well, there’s something we can agree on.” Changbin had laughed._

_“Great, thanks, love you Changbin, mwah, bye.” _

_“Ew.”_

_Jisung had frowned at his phone when Changbin had returned it. “How come Changbin gets kisses but not me?”_

The corner of Changbin’s mouth curls up into a half-smile.

Then he hears his parents’ door slam.

His own door opens.

“Seo Changbin, are you not going to your game today?” His mom asks.

Changbin studies her face carefully. She looks the way she usually does, which is weird. _Why is she wearing makeup this early in the morning?_

“Uh, yes, yeah, Mom, I am.” Changbin says, ironing out his uniform with his hands.

“What do you want for breakfast?” His mom asks.

Changbin accidentally crumples his jersey in a fist. “W- What?”

“I’m making breakfast.” His mom starts grumbling, as if she’s about to take back her offer if Changbin asks again.

“Oh, anything.” Changbin nods. “I’ll take anything.”

“Just like your dad, then.” His mom mutters as she turns to go down the hallway.

“I’m sick.”

Hyunjin’s got the covers drawn up to his nose, but he lets out a demure little cough for good measure.

His brother, who’s standing in the doorway of his room, rolls his eyes. “Being hungover isn’t a disease.”

“I didn’t drink _last night_!” Hyunjin whines. He has the presence of mind to punctuate it with another cough. “I really am sick.”

“So you’re too sick to go to the game?”

“Yes.” Hyunjin says sadly, voice muffled by the duvet.

“So I’m going to show up there without you?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re going to let the whole team down?”

“Yes.”

“All because you don’t want to face Seungmin?”

“Y- _Hyung!_” Hyunjin sits up, kicking off the covers dramatically. Then he slumps over in a languid kind of way. And lets out a little cough. “Ahem.”

“Hyunjin.” His brother leans on the doorjamb with a sigh. “You’re too old for me to tell you what to do. But you’re just old enough that I can call you an asshole when you’re being an asshole.”

Hyunjin pouts. “But hyung, you don’t know how-”

“Breakfast’s already on the table and I leave in twenty minutes.” Jinyoung says. “In case you want to go.”

Hyunjin sighs and lies back down, but only for a second.

“Hurry up so your dad doesn’t have to speed all the way to the stadium.” Changbin’s mom says, frowning at Changbin’s untouched breakfast.

Changbin looks at her, then at his dad, who’s chewing with all the urgency of a cow while he watches the morning news on the TV.

“Are you… going?” Changbin frowns. “To my game? Both of you?”

“Yes.” Changbin’s mom says, frowning at Changbin’s breakfast, then back at him. “Hurry up.”

Changbin spoons up some of his egg obediently, but stops the spoon just before it gets to his mouth. “Why?”

“Why not?” Changbin’s mom scrunches up her nose.

“You guys are up against the uh, your rivals this week, right?” Changbin’s dad asks in between sluggish bites of steamed egg.

“The Bears?” Changbin can’t help but laugh as he bites into his egg. It’s cold. “We’re hardly their rivals.”

“Weren’t you up against them in the championships last year?” Changbin’s dad asks.

“You reached the championships last year?” Changbin’s mom frowns.

“Yes.” Changbin says, scooping some more cold egg into his mouth.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Changbin’s mom asks.

“I did.” Changbin scrapes up the last of his egg into one heaping spoonful.

“You probably just weren’t listening.” Changbin’s dad shrugs.

Changbin’s mom shoots him a hard look.

Changbin stuffs the last spoonful of egg into his mouth and pushes his chair back.

“FEEEEEEEELIIIIIIXXXX!”

Felix jumps up. “Jeongin!”

Jeongin’s running over, kicking up some of the diamond’s red dust in a cloud behind him. He jumps into Felix’s waiting arms for a hug, which sends them both barreling into the nearest wall with a very, very loud smack.

“Owww.” Felix pouts, rubbing his elbow.

“Oh god if I’m injured Coach Yoo is gonna kill me,” Jeongin says, stretching his arms out experimentally. “Okay, we’re good, we’re good. Coach Yoo isn’t gonna-”

“YANG JEONGIN!” Coach Yoo’s voice booms from halfway across the field.

“Coming!” Jeongin gives Felix’s arm one last squeeze. “Catch up with you later, dude!”

“Sure!” Felix waves as Jeongin starts running towards Coach Yoo, whose determined scowl is clear from this far away. _It’s probably visible from space. _“Good luck!”

“Stop fraternizing with the enemy.” Jisung says, slinging one arm over Felix’s shoulders. “Coach Wang’s calling everyone in for a huddle.”

“Hang on, aren’t you _dating_ the enemy?” Felix frowns at him as they walk towards the Weevils’ dugout.

“That’s different.” Jisung says. “It’s _espionage_.”

“That’s a weird way to pronounce _blow jobs_,” Hyunjoon hums, making space for Jisung and Felix in the Weevils’ huddle.

“Fuck you, Hyunjoon.”

“Han Jisung, _language_.” Coach Wang says, turning his gaze to the junior.

“What?” Jisung squeaks. “Hyunjoon literally just said ‘blow jobs’ how come I’m the only one-”

“_Anyway_. I just wanted to get you all here to…” Coach Wang says, turning away from Jisung with a look of pure discomfort. _Kind of like when a baby sits on a diaper full of shit, _Felix thinks.

Felix snorts at the idea.

“…which is why – What’s so funny, Felix?” Coach Wang turns his beam of disapproval – it’s kind of like a spotlight he just shifts from one boy to the other – towards Felix, who blushes.

“NothingsorryCoach.” Felix lowers his head.

“As I was saying, today is an important match.” Coach Wang says. “If we can beat the Bears this early on, it’s going to look-”

“This team’s never cared about what things _look_ like.” Coach Park cuts in.

Coach Wang doesn’t even pivot the spotlight of annoyance towards the other coach. He just keeps talking like he hadn’t heard a thing.

“I want everyone on their A game, treat this like a finals match. Outfielders-” Coach Wang looks directly at Felix again. “-pay closer attention to what’s going on in the diamond, you can’t go off daydreaming like-”

“Coach Wang.” Changbin says sharply. “You already told him that last week.”

The Coach doesn’t look at Changbin, either. “Is it so hard to let me finish a sentence?”

All the Weevils look at their cleats in silence.

“Sorry I’m late,” Chan says, breaking the silence and the huddle. “The ump says we’re starting in a minute.”

Coach Wang groans, looking skyward for help. “So much for last-minute reminders.”

“Just be aware when you go out there, guys,” Coach Park says. “You know all your bad habits, don’t do them.”

The boys nod solemnly.

“Weevils on three?” Chan suggests, looking around his teammates hopefully.

“We don’t have time.” Changbin says.

“One! Two! Three!” Jisung shouts anyway.

The team lets out a series of unconvinced grumbles that don’t sound like any word in particular.

Felix frowns. _This can’t be good._

Hyunjin puts the ball in his glove and dries his hand on the back of his pants.

He picks up the ball again.

But his palms feel sweaty again, and he can barely get a grip.

He looks up to find one of the new Bears at bat. _Why would they send one of the new guys? Coach Yoo’s evil._

Hyunjin winds up for a pitch, but as he does, he feels the ball leaving his grasp in a weird way.

The ball flies over the Bear’s head, and Chan has to get out of his squat to scramble after it.

It’s not hot, but Hyunjin feels his ears burning.

He winds up for another pitch.

The baseball slips out again, barely staying on his sweaty palm for more than a second.

_Ball. _Hyunjin calls mentally, as soon as the ball leaves his hand.

He’s not wrong.

Jeongin visibly flinches.

“Don’t be a little shit.” Minho says, flicking him on the arm. His jaw is clenched as he watches the game, and Jeongin knows it’s not out of worry for _their_ team.

Hyunjin dries his hands on his back pocket a tenth time. _He’s only thrown the ball eight times. _Jeongin frowns. _That’s not good. _

“Cap, he’s not-”

“I said, _don’t be a little shit._” Minho tightens his crossed arms. “He’s doing his best.”

Jeongin makes a face as he watches Chan dive for another bad pitch. “No he isn’t.”

“They changed their batting lineup again.”

Jinyoung looks down at Changbin, who’s sitting on the bench with his hands curled into fists. “How do you know?”

“I just remember it.” Changbin shrugs.

Jinyoung’s about to say something about his having enough space in his brain to memorize other teams’ batting lineups. Then he notices what Changbin’s looking at.

Seungmin’s stood up and started limbering up, clearly getting ready to step up to bat next.

_Oh no. Oh no. Oh no._

He crosses the dugout to talk to Coach Wang, who’s been grinding his teeth flat since the game started.

“Coach Wang,” Jinyoung says, hoping he sounds civil, if not docile. “We have to switch Hyunjin out.”

The other coach looks at him like he’s asking for money. “No.”

“Jackson.” Jinyoung says, throwing his Nice Jinyoung voice out the window. “Hyunjin can’t- He’s not in a good state right now- Just switch him and Jisung-”

“No way.” Coach Wang says. “It’s only the top of the first-”

“Jackson, please.” Jinyoung sees Seungmin out of the corner of his eye. “I’m asking this as a brother, not a coach. Take my brother out of there.”

Coach Wang looks him in the eye. “I don’t have the same problem you do, and I can say as a _coach_, it’ll be worse for him if we take him out the second things don’t go his way.”

Jinyoung sighs as the Bears’ batter walks to first, filling all the bases. Seungmin looks unsure as he walks to the plate, but his face hardens when he and Hyunjin lock eyes.

_Oh no._

Hyunjin’s palms are soaked, and so is his back pocket from all the times he’d tried to dry his hands on it.

Anyone else looking at Seungmin right now might think he’s just really focused on the game. But Hyunjin knows the truth.

Hyunjin swallows, but there’s a lump in his throat.

He tries to dry his hands on his jersey.

“Dude,” Jisung’s voice is weirdly gentle as it breaks its way into Hyunjin’s thoughts. “You okay?”

Hyunjin realizes the umpire’s motioning for him to throw a pitch.

The umpire taps his watch.

Hyunjin dries his hand on his shirt again.

Then he looks at Seungmin.

Seungmin’s staring right at him. It’s not a mean look, but it’s like the dozen or so messages of Hyunjin’s that he’d left on _Seen_.

_It hurts more._

Hyunjin winds up for a pitch.

Seungmin adjusts his grip on the bat just a little bit.

Hyunjin feels the ball leave his hands a weird way. Not a bad way, just not the way he’d intended.

_Eat this, you son of a bitch, _Seungmin thinks calmly as he swings the bat.

The ball connects with the bat with a resounding _ping!_

“Shit shit shit shit.” Felix mutters, one eye on the ball overhead as he runs backwards.

The ball crosses the edge of the field and falls into an empty set of bleachers.

“Run, Seungmin-” Coach Yoo stops shouting and sinks back against the post of the dugout when Seungmin shoots her a sharp look. “Good job, Seungmin! Nice one!” She shouts instead.

Seungmin walks all the way to the home plate, never once looking at the flustered figure on the pitcher’s mound. _Serves him right._

“Coach Wang.”

Jackson turns to Changbin, who’s fixing him with this judging look he has no right to- Jackson sighs. “What?”

“Switch Hyunjin out.” Changbin says tensely.

“You can’t order me around like-”

“He’s crying.”

_Shit. _Jackson looks out at the field. Sure enough, the younger Park’s head is ducked, and his shoulders are shaking with silent sobs. _What’s _wrong_ with him?_

“Fuck this, I’m calling a time out.” Jinyoung says, brushing past Jackson to signal to the umpire.

“I’m _what_?” Jisung points at himself.

“I can do it, Coach.” Chan says eagerly.

“I said what I said.” Coach Wang says firmly. He glances for a moment at Coach Park, who’s in the corner of the dugout talking to Hyunjin, who’s curled up in a ball. “Jisung, you’re pitching. The captain will play shortstop-”

“I thought you said I was playing catcher.” Changbin asks.

“Right, sorry, I mean _Chan_ will play shortstop.”

Jisung looks over at Changbin, who’s looking at Coach Wang like he’s thinking of ways to kill the coach with just a baseball glove. He steps between them and lets out a loud wheeze-howl combination. “Hwooo okay, let’s go, team!”

“Here you g-” Chan holds out the catcher’s gear to Changbin, who snatches them gruffly.

“Thanks.” Changbin mutters, walking off to one side to put them on.

“D’you need help, Changbin?” Jisung offers.

“No.”

Jisung looks over at Hyunjin curled up in the corner of the dugout, shaking his head to everything his brother’s saying. He hasn’t seen Hyunjin like this since the first day of the first grade.

“Come on, Jisung, they’re not going to give us a lot of time to warm up.” Coach Park says, brushing dirt off his knees.

Jisung’s still looking at the top of Hyunjin’s head, which is tucked into his knees. “But Hyunjin’s-”

“Leave him be.” Coach Park says. “He’ll be fine.”

“If you take any longer, we’ll have to give your team a penalty.”

“Hurry up, Changbin.”

“We’ll give you one minute.”

“Hurry up, Changbin!” Coach Wang says again, like that’s helpful.

Changbin’s pulling his knee guards up as quickly as he can, but even Chan can’t get into the whole thing in less than a minute. _Why are you even thinking that? Chan’s got nothing to do with-_

Another pair of hands comes in and secures his chest guard into place.

Changbin looks up with a frown. “Hyunjin?”

“Sorry.” Hyunjin mumbles, holding the helmet out to Changbin. “I fucked up.”

“Hey, it’s okay.” Changbin says before slipping the helmet on. “We all have bad days.”

Hyunjin shakes his head.

“Changbin!” Coach Wang shouts, knocking on the wall of the dugout. “We’re _already_ four runs down-”

“Yes, yes, I’m coming!” Changbin says, adjusting his helmet as he heads out. He looks at Hyunjin one last time, curled up in the corner.

Hyunjin looks up again.

He gives Changbin two thumbs up and half a smile.


	22. “With all due respect: He’s doing his best. Fuck you.” – Lee Minho

“You good?” Chan asks.

“No, I want to die.” Jisung replies.

Chan pats Jisung on the arm. “Hang in there, buddy, you’re doing great.”

“I am _dying_.”

Minho wags the bat from where he’s been waiting by the home plate. “Han Jisung if you don’t throw that ball _right now_ I am going to go over there and-!”

“Yes, yes, it’s coming!” Jisung shouts back. He turns back to Chan and mouths, ‘Still dying.’

“You can do it.” Chan assures him.

“Yes, but do I _want_ to?” Jisung sighs. He turns the ball a few times around in his hand. “You ready?”

“Oh my _gooood_.” Minho rolls his eyes so hard that Felix and the other outfielders could probably see it.

Jisung takes that to be a yes, so he winds up for a pitch.

His arm feels like it dislocates itself every time. _It’s because you’re not used to it._

The ball, to Jisung’s surprise, ends up in Changbin’s glove.

“Strike!”

“Bitch!” Minho grumbles, wagging his butt as he gets ready to bat again.

Jisung smiles. He loves it when Minho does that. Minho’s ass makes him believe in a God.

Jisung rolls his shoulder.

He lets the ball go, feeling it graze against just the tip of his finger.

“Strike!”

“Goddammit, Jisung!” Minho yells.

Jisung’s grin widens. He could get used to this.

“Good job, everyone, we’re…” Coach Wang’s lip wobbles while he seems to search for the right word. “Not doing as badly as we could be doing.”

“Our score is literally half of theirs.” Hyunjoon says.

“Eh.” Coach Wang sighs.

“You’re doing a good job, Jisung.” Coach Park says, patting the junior on the arm. “If you could just put a little bit more speed into your pitches.”

“I’ll try, Coach.” Jisung says, massaging his shoulder.

“We can work on that next training.” Coach Wang says tensely. “Don’t overexert yourself, Jisung. We’ve still got a game next week.”

“I thought you said this game was important.” Changbin frowns.

“Well, there’s not much hope of us winning it now, is there?” Hyunjoon sighs.

Everyone in the dugout avoids looking at the corner so intensely that anyone passing by would wonder what’s so offensive about Park Hyunjin.

“There are still six more innings, guys.” Chan says, straightening up with a desperate smile. He claps his hands together. “We can still turn things around.”

Felix watches Changbin’s frown deepen as the rest of the team turn to Chan, their faces brightening up.

“Yeah.” Changbin mutters. “Turn things around.”

“By ‘we can turn things around’, did you mean we can get _exponentially worse_?” Jisung sighs, watching Changbin visibly curse the catcher’s gear as he grovels for a ball that Jisung had thrown _way _off.

“You’re doing great, Jisung!” Chan insists.

“What the hell was _that_, Jisung?” Minho shouts from the Bears’ dugout, following it up with a, “GO JEONGIIIIIN!”

Jeongin, who’s up at bat, scowls at Minho like he’s his embarrassing stage dad.

Jisung’s having a hard time keeping track of the score in his head, because he’s too busy worrying about whether the ball will even make it to where it’s supposed to be, because it’s not going there, and he doesn’t even know how to get it there, and he’s seriously _such_ a hack, when is Hyunjin going to be okay. _Not that I’m rushing the dude, he seems to be going through some serious shit… _

Jisung throws another thing that can barely be called a pitch. Changbin has to dive for the ball. Jeongin, who seems like he’s been itching to run the entire time, groans as he stomps over to the first. The Bear who’d been scratching his nose as he hangs around third base walks over to first with a deep sigh.

_What’s the score now? _Jisung frowns as Coach Park does some kinda hand signal. They’d actually practiced them all before during training, but Jisung just doesn’t have the Park brother telepathy. _Big surprise there._

“What’s the score now?” Chan asks in a whisper as he takes stock of their situation. He makes a couple gestures to Sunwoo on third, telling him to keep an eye on the Bear currently inching away from third base.

“Not good, whatever it is.” Jisung squints at the hand signal Coach Park’s doing. He’s pretty sure some cultures would find it rude, whatever it is.

He winds up for another pitch.

_Oh my god!_ Jisung almost jumps with joy when he realizes it’s a decent pitch.

It’s a little _too_ decent, though, because the Bear at bat knocks it cleanly out of Felix’s reach.

_Dammit._

Hyunjin’s had his eyes closed for the last two innings. The other guys probably think he’s sleeping by now, but he’s just trying to get his brain in order. He can’t think of anything without his eyes watering, and there’s no way he’s going to be allowed back onto the mound looking like _this_.

Someone taps him on the arm.

“Changbin I’m really fine.” Hyunjin mutters. “You don’t have to-”

The someone laughs. “I’m not Changbin, stupid.”

Hyunjin opens his eyes a crack, because they’ve gotten so puffy that that’s as far as they go. “Oh. Are you even allowed to be here?”

“In the middle of the game? Probably not.” Seungmin leans on the wall of the dugout, standing awkwardly on the line between being completely inside and completely outside. “How are you doing?”

“Not that great.”

The corner of Seungmin’s mouth twitches. “Sorry about that.”

“No! It’s not your fault.” Hyunjin says. “I’m the one-”

“No, I know it’s all your fault. I meant sorry for rubbing it in so hard.”

Hyunjin frowns at him. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“I’m also sorry for ignoring all your texts.” Seungmin sighs.

“No, it’s okay, _I’m _the one who-”

“Just because you’re being a jerk, doesn’t mean I should stoop down to your level, too.” Seungmin says with a casual shrug.

“Ouch.”

Hyunjin sees Coach Wang start towards them with a frown, but Jinyoung holds him back with one arm, murmuring something too softly for Hyunjin to hear what it is. Hyunjin hears Coach Wang say a quiet little, “_Bullshit_.”

But he stays on that side of the dugout anyway, settling on taking suspicious glances in Seungmin’s direction.

“It was a bad day, and I shouldn’t have gotten as pissed off as I did.” Seungmin says, not looking at Hyunjin but at a crack on the wall of the dugout, which he scratches absently with one finger. “I don’t think I was even that mad at _you_.”

Hyunjin looks up with a frown. _What could be worse than ditching Seungmin after saying I’d be there and making him wait for me when I-_

“My dad’s company is trying to buy the animal shelter.”

“Oh. Oh my god.”

“He’s probably going to get it. The mayor’s office is full of shitheads and ass-kissers.” Seungmin says, still running his finger back and forth on the crack on the wall like a pendulum.

Hyunjin sits up, scooting forward to look into Seungmin’s blanker-than-usual face. “Seungmin, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, _that’s_ not your fault anymore.” Seungmin’s finger drags to a stop on the wall. He tucks his hand self-consciously into his pockets. “Yeah, so… I just wanted to clear that up.”

Hyunjin’s brows furrow. His brain wasn’t designed to think this hard. It’s overheating. “So you’re _not_ mad at me?”

“Oh, I _am_,” Seungmin nods with a dry grin on his face. “But I can be mad at you while we’re hanging out with each other again.”

Hyunjin swallows.

“I’m never gonna uh,” _Stand you up? Do people say that when it’s not a date? _Hyunjin shakes his head like he’s getting water out of his ears. “I’m not gonna do it again. Promise.”

Seungmin looks into Hyunjin’s puffy little eyes. A smile spreads across his lips. “You don’t need to promise. I know you won’t do it, stupid.”

“I really won’t.” Hyunjin says, crossing his heart a couple of times. “I swear on uh… Hyung’s life.”

Seungmin laughs. “Don’t think he’d appreciate you swearing random shit on his life.”

“His life is more precious than mine.”

Seungmin cups Hyunjin’s chin for a second, before turning it into a light tap on the cheek. “Stupid.”

“Sorry I’m so stupid.” Hyunjin says, lowering his head.

“Get back to your team, stupid.” Seungmin says, giving Hyunjin another, much faster pat on the cheek. “I’ve got to get back to the dugout before Coach Yoo pops an artery.”

“Okay.” Hyunjin nods.

Seungmin lingers there for a few seconds more in complete silence, looking down at Hyunjin with an expression that Hyunjin’s overworked brain can’t read. “Anyway, yeah, got to go. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Yes, please.”

Seungmin doesn’t turn around, but Hyunjin sees his shoulders shake with laughter.

Felix’s knees feel weak as he steps up to bat. _It’s only Jeongin. You know Jeongin. He’s nice._

_And he’s a damn good pitcher and his team’s beating yours by a fucking landslide. _

“Lower yourself a bit more.”

Felix frowns at Minho, who’s just blinking innocently at him from behind the catcher’s mask. “What?”

“Bend your knees.” Minho hisses urgently. “Lower your body a bit so you’re more stable.”

“Oh.” Felix tries to follow him, but he makes the mistake of looking over at Jeongin. His face is shaded by his cap, but his eyes are so intense and bright that Felix’s knees start to tremble. _He’s like Bears’ pitcher from before. Are they all like that? What are they feeding their pitchers???_

The ball smacks into Minho’s glove before Felix can even blink.

“Strike!”

Felix looks at Jeongin, who doesn’t even give him an apologetic, toothy smile. He’s just watching Felix with all the friendliness of a falcon watching a mouse.

Felix gives him a thumbs up and a not-so-sure smile.

Jeongin winds up for another pitch, which is so fast it seems to go _through_ Felix’s bat.

“Strike!”

_What the heck is Jeongin’s mom’s training like??? Do you have to be her kid to get the anime protag powers or could I get some of that too???????_

_Oh god here he goes again. _

The next ball hits Minho’s glove with almost a sad echo.

“Sorry, Felix.” The Bears’ captain’s eyes seem a bit softer (since that’s pretty much all Felix can see of him). “Jeongin’s on a roll today.”

“I noticed.” Felix says.

“Hyunjoon, you’re up.”

“_God_.” Hyunjoon groans, taking the helmet from Coach Park. “It’s going to be the same whether I go out there or not.”

“Hey.” Coach Wang blocks the way to the field, arms crossed. Hyunjoon’s a normal guy – when someone’s arms are _that_ big, he’s just about ready to pee himself. “I won’t tolerate that kind of attitude.”

“Coach, they’re crushing us like ants out there.” Hyunjoon scoffs. “Everyone’s just waiting for this game to be over.”

“It’s not over till it’s over.” Coach Wang growls. “Now go out there and actually make an effort-”

“Coach Wang.” Coach Park cuts in. He puts one arm around Hyunjoon’s shoulders and nudges him to the field like a very gentle slingshot. “Just swing every time, who knows, it might hit.”

Hyunjoon makes a face._ Even I could’ve given that advice. Guess I’m qualified to coach now._

“Don’t do that.” Coach Wang says tensely, frowning at Hyunjoon. “Watch the ball and _think_-”

“He won’t have time to _think_-”

“Coach, I can go.”

Hyunjoon, the two coaches, and everyone else in the dugout turn to Hyunjin with every kind of surprised face possible. Open mouth, hand over mouth, buggy eyes, squinty eyes – you name it.

“No.” Coach Wang says immediately, almost as if by reflex.

The umpire’s blowing his whistle at them.

“Let him play.”

Hyunjoon lifts his eyebrows, watching their captain step in front of the other guys to glare at Coach Wang. _The fuck is going on?_

“No, I’m with Coach Wang on this one.” Coach Park says. “The inning’s nearly over.”

_The _FUCK_ is going on? _Hyunjoon wishes he had his camera, because this is all playing out like a strange acid trip.

The umpire shouting at them to hurry it along.

“Hyunjoon, go.” Coach Wang says, though he’s still frowning in Hyunjin’s direction.

Hyunjoon puts the helmet on, but he lingers at the edge of the field.

“Hyunjoon, _now_.” Coach Wang growls again.

Hyunjoon takes the bat and runs towards the plate. He’s always been afraid of dogs.

Minho sighs as he extends a hand to Changbin.

“Good game.” Changbin mutters, eyes trained on the red dirt underfoot.

“Good game.” Minho mumbles back, shaking the other captain’s hand tensely. His mom didn’t raise a liar. It was _not_ a good game. _It was fucking awful, to be honest._

Minho goes down the line, shaking all the Weevils’ hands, though he feels like he’s extending condolences at a funeral for someone he doesn’t know very well. He shakes everyone’s hands and claps a few on the back as quickly as he can before heading to get his things and go out for lunch. _I could eat a whole cow. Do they cook cows whole? God, that’s so barbaric. Ew, Minho._

“Good job today, guys.” Coach Yoo grunts to the huddle of Bears who look desperate to get out of this stadium. “Especially you, Jeongin, we all really appreciate the effort.”

“Thanks.” Jeongin sighs.

“I hope we can keep up this momentum in the coming weeks,” Coach Yoo looks over a few of the boys’ heads at the other team in their dugout. Minho turns to see all of the Weevils with their heads lowered while Coach Wang stands over them, arms crossed as he chews them out so loudly that Minho can pick up the occasional word. _Inconsistent_ and _selfish_ are two of them.

_Jisung probably needs a hug right now. _Minho thinks, watching Jisung puff up his cheeks in resentment, though he knows that Jisung knows better than to talk back at Coach Wang. _Changbin on the other hand…_

“Minho.” Seungmin nudges Minho on the arm.

“Huh? What?” Minho turns back to find the entire team staring at him.

“I guess not.” Coach Yoo says.

_I guess not _what_?_

“Rest up, I’ll see you guys at training next week.” Coach Yoo says. “Good work again, everyone.”

“Thanks, Coach.” The boys give her polite bows as she turns to leave.

Minho nudges Seungmin back. “What was she talking about?”

“She was asking if you had anything you wanted to say.”

“Oh. I didn’t.”

“We noticed.” Seungmin chuckles. “See you tomorrow, Cap.”

“See you.”

Minho slings his bag over his shoulder and starts walking to the base of the bleachers. He stands to one side while everyone shuffles out. He can see his sister near the top of the bleachers, arms crossed as she taps her foot angrily at the very slow woman in front of her. She makes a face at Minho, then points at the woman before rolling her eyes.

Minho grins. _What a bitch._

“…team is terrible, their pitcher’s just terrible. If I were the Coach, I wouldn’t have ever let him out onto the field. He’s ruining the whole team’s chances, it’s such a waste.”

Minho looks up at the other woman who’d said that. He knows full well whom she’s talking about. And he’s not having any of it.

“Hi.” Minho says brightly, blocking her and everyone else’s way out of the stands.

The woman frowns. “Hello?”

“I heard you were talking shit about the Weevils’ pitcher-”

“Excuse me, young man, what did you just say?” The man standing right behind the woman cuts in with a frown. He looks a little familiar to Minho, but Minho couldn’t give less of a shit.

“-and I would just like to say, with all due respect: He’s doing his best. Fuck you.” Minho watches the woman’s face redden underneath all her makeup.

“E- _Excuse me?_” The woman sputters out.

The man behind her steps in front of her, his face turning a deep purplish color. “You take that back right now.”

“Not until the old lady takes back what she was saying about Jisung.” Minho takes a deep breath. He’s standing one step below the couple, so they’re taller than him, but only now is he realizing that the woman is _huge_ and the man is broad as _fuck_. They could probably crush his skull without breaking a sweat. _Like the guy from _Game of Thrones_. Was that _Game of Thrones_?_

“Listen here, you little shit-” The woman starts.

“Don’t humor him.” The man says, before turning to Minho and saying. “You’d better apologize _right fucking now_ or-”

“Or what?” Minho sticks out his chin. _I guess this is how I go. It’s been good. _

_Not really, but at least I’m not a virgin. I guess._

“Mom? Dad? _Minho_?”

Minho turns to the person who’d just spoken. Everything spins slowly, as if in slow motion. _Oh. _That’s_ why these assholes looked so familiar but not really._

Changbin looks up to the angry couple, then back to Minho, then back to the jerks Minho assumes must be his parents.

“Don’t tell me this guy’s another one of your friends.” Changbin’s mom scoffs.

Changbin looks at Minho for a long moment.

_It’s okay, _Minho gives him a sympathetic look. _I wouldn’t mind if you pretended not to know me right now._

“Yeah, he is.” Changbin says firmly.

_Oh god I love you, Seo Changbin, _Minho says, sure he’s got hearts in his eyes or something as he looks at the other captain.

Minho looks back at Changbin’s parents. They look like they’re both about to explode. _That would be _something_._ _If they both just blew up right now. _

“GET OUT OF THE WAY, _CUNTS_!”

Changbin’s parents turn around, looking doubly shocked at the state of Kids These Days.

“YOU HEARD ME, BOOMERS!” Minho’s sister shouts from where she’s stuck a few levels up. “I’M STARVING! MOVE IT!”

Minho steps out of the way, watching with unbridled amusement Changbin’s parents shuffle out of the stands uncomfortably. _Fucking boomers, _he thinks, though he knows that Changbin’s parents are probably just in their forties.

Soojin vaults over the last railing, leather miniskirt be damned. “Can’t believe you were seriously about to throw hands with someone’s parents. Whose were they?”

“Changbin’s.”

“Really?” Soojin cranes her neck, watching the Seo family march angrily towards the parking lot. Changbin’s mom is still going off, her ironed hair shaking like a curtain in a storm while she talks. Changbin’s dad is just nodding, like he’s going along with whatever she says, and poor Changbin’s just slouching along between them, avoiding eye contact with everyone who passes by. “Why’s he so short, then?”

“Don’t be a bitch.” Minho smiles, flicking his sister on the arm. “So, what are we having for lunch?”

“You think _Jisung’s uncle_ is working at the café today?”

Minho makes a face at his sister. “Do you have _any_ shame?”

“I’m not the one cussing out random people’s parents.”

“One, she fucking deserved it.” Minho says, wagging one finger at Soojin. He adds another. “And two, Changbin’s not some random person.”

Changbin hasn’t looked up from the gravel since he’d started walking with his parents – _who couldn’t even manage to go through one fucking game without picking a fight. At least they’re not fighting each other_, Changbin thinks as his mother’s string of swears directed at Minho wash over him.

_The bar is so low._

“Bye, Cap!”

Changbin looks up. Felix is waving at him, leaning almost halfway out of the window of his dad’s car.

“Felix, your seatbelt.” Changbin hears Felix’s papa warn gently.

The front window rolls down, and Felix’s dad leans all the way over his husband to wave. “Hi Changbin! Hi Mr. Seo!”

Changbin’s mom has shut up by this point, and she turns to Changbin’s dad with her mouth slightly ajar with shock.

Changbin’s dad starts walking away in silence.

Changbin looks back at Felix’s dad, whose mouth is screwed up in an embarrassed little w. _He’s a great guy. He doesn’t deserve this. _

“Hi!” Changbin manages to put on a smile and wave as he walks over. “Sorry about my dad, he’s having a rough day.”

“Oh.” Felix’s dad sinks back meekly into his seat.

“Felix just told us about the game.” Felix’s papa says. “I’m sure you guys can bounce back next week.”

“Thanks, Uncle Ma-”

“Seo Changbin!” Changbin’s mom shouts, stomping over. “Your father’s started the car already, let’s go!”

Felix’s parents smile at her. Changbin’s starting to think their niceness is getting ridiculous.

“You must be Changbin’s mom, nice to meet you.” Felix’s papa says. “I’m Felix’s dad, you can call me Matt.”

Changbin’s mom just looks at him like he’s gum under her shoe.

“We should probably go before Dad drives off without us or something.” Changbin says, stepping between his mom and Felix’s papa, who looks utterly confused. “I’ll see you around, U- Uh, yeah.”

“See you tomorrow, Cap.” Felix says from the backseat, with much less enthusiasm than usual.

Changbin tries to give him a smile, but his cheeks are starting to hurt from forcing it. “See you-”

“Actually, he won’t.” Changbin’s mom says, her red lips drawing into a tense line. “I would prefer that you keep your distance from my son from now on. I know you don’t care what other people say about you and your _lifestyle_, but we won’t have people making up dirty rumors about our son that way. Please leave him alone.”

Felix’s entire family just frowns at her, then at Changbin.

“Come on, Changbin.” Changbin’s mom says, turning away from Felix’s dad’s car. “Let’s go.”

Changbin can’t even give Felix’s family an apologetic look. He turns away, shoulders slumped in shame as he trails after his mom, feeling like a complete loser.

“Bye, Cap.” Felix’s voice carries from the car, just as the windows roll up.

Changbin stops and turns. The white car speeds off, its brand-new fender shining in the noontime sun. Felix is still turned to the window, looking Changbin’s way until the car disappears around a corner.


	23. “That’s really hot.” – Han Jisung

“Changbin?”

Changbin stops staring at Felix’s locker and closes his own. He turns to find Mina with her face flushed in excitement. “Yeah?”

“I, uh,” Mina tucks some hair behind her ear sheepishly. Changbin’s never seen her do that before. It’s weird. “Um…”

“Yeah? What’s up?”

“It’s nothing, really, I just wanted to know if you know… you know…” Mina’s face suddenly brightens up even more. “Oh hey, Felix!”

Changbin doesn’t turn, but out of the corner of his eye, he sees Felix squat down to open his locker. Changbin’s stomach wrings itself, not just because he hasn’t had breakfast.

“Hi.” Felix slams his locker quickly and hurries off.

“What’s up with him?” Mina cocks her head to one side with a small frown. “Hope it’s not his asshole classmates again.”

_No, it’s just my asshole mom. _Changbin sighs.

“He seemed fine during his stream last Friday.” Mina loops her arm around Changbin’s as they walk back to the classroom. “You know he’s got this Minecraft channel? He’s building the whole city on there, it’s _so_ cute-”

“Yeah.” Changbin slips his arm out of Mina’s hold. He doesn’t want anyone thinking weird things about him and Mina. _Oh god, I’m thinking like my mom. _“W- What did you wanna ask about, Mina?”

“Oh.” Mina’s entire face colors. “I just wanted to know if you know if uh, if Chanhee likes anyone.”

“Chanhee?” Changbin makes a face. “As in, our friend Chanhee?”

“Yes, dumbass, what other Chanhee could I be talking about?” Mina laughs as she holds the door to their classroom open for them both. “Well?”

Changbin doesn’t know how to say that he hasn’t been hanging out with Chanhee much lately. He hasn’t been hanging out with anyone lately, not Jisung or Chan or anyone else – _Oh wait. Felix._

Changbin feels like throwing up just thinking about the look on Felix’s face when his mom had said… all that.

“You okay?” Mina puts the back of her hand on Changbin’s forehead.

“What the hell are you guys doing?” Chanhee asks, stopping in the doorway behind them.

“I think Changbin’s sick.” Mina says.

Chanhee brushes Mina’s hand out of the way. “That’s not how you do it.”

He bends over to touch his forehead against Changbin’s, but Chanhee’s never been good at judging distances. He basically bashes his head against Changbin’s, sending the latter skidding backward onto his desk.

“Oh shit, sorry dude!”

“Chanhee, you _idiot_!” Mina slaps Chanhee on the arm before helping Changbin to his feet. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Changbin rubs his forehead. He feels a raised bump right in the middle of it. _Chanhee’s head is made of concrete, what the hell. _“Chanhee’s here, you can just ask him.”

“W- What?” Mina gasps, her eyes widening.

“Ask me what?”

“Nothing!” Mina waves her hands aggressively. “I just asked Changbin if he knows why you’re such a fucking _idiot_.”

“Oh, that’s easy. I was born with it.” Chanhee winks at her.

Mina scowls at him, her entire face reddening. She gasps and points at the door suddenly. “Oh! Teacher Park’s here!”

Chanhee straightens up like a telephone pole. “Everyone! Greet Teacher Park!”

The rest of the class make faces at him, and the guys at the back – who are passing around what Changbin hopes is just a cigarette – snort at him.

Chanhee looks back at the doorway, which is empty.

He flicks Mina on the forehead. “That’s not funny.”

Mina’s too busy laughing to stop him. Even Changbin manages a few dry chuckles.

Jeongin’s just walking to the cafeteria, minding his own business, when he sees a crowd forming near the pocket garden. He’s not a dumbass; He turns to avoid it, but he walks right into Minho.

“Hey.” Jeongin greets the captain begrudgingly.

Minho doesn’t greet him back. _The audacity._

He frowns at Minho as the latter stomps straight towards the crowd. “What’s going on, Cap?”

“Come on, we have to stop Kim Seungmin’s ass from getting suspended.” Minho grabs Jeongin by the arm and starts dragging him towards the crowd.

“Wha-”

“Any help is appreciated, even just posting about it and getting the word out there is good,” Jeongin hears Seungmin’s voice carry above the crowd. “Yeah, of course! Thank you so much.”

Minho uses his shoulders to wedge himself into the crowd and come out right before a folding table Seungmin’s set up in front of the pocket garden.

Seungmin beams at them, sheaves of flyers in each hand. “Hey guys!”

“Hey guys yourself.” Minho frowns, not accepting the flyer Seungmin’s holding out to him. “What the hell are you doing? If you get caught-”

“The animal shelter’s not going to save itself.” Seungmin says, his smile disappearing for a second. Then he grins again. “Hey Jeongin, can you give these out to your classmates?”

Jeongin accepts the flyers dumbly. _Over 100 innocent animals are at risk of being thrown out to die! BECAUSE OF CAPITALISM! Save the City Animal Shelter!_

_The DSG Group – responsible for eyesores such as the Golden Square Luxury Mall and the Silver Leaf Luxury Condominium Complex – have been polluting the area around the animal shelter with their rushed and sloppy construction of a new mall across the street! And now they’re trying to buy the animal shelter from the local government! WE CANNOT LET THEM! Scan this QR code to sign the petition to the Mayor’s Office…_

Jeongin stops reading and looks up. Seungmin has just gotten 1000 times cooler in his eyes.

“Pack this up before one of the teachers sees it.” Minho snaps at Seungmin, rounding up as many flyers as he can.

“You love cats, Cap, you can’t possibly be on _their_ side-”

“I’m on _our_ side, you fool, and that side not letting our best batter get suspended before we can even get to the semis.” Minho grumbles, stacking up all the flyers in his arms.

“Nothing’s going to happen if we don’t protest-”

“Protest _outside_ of the school.” Minho says flatly. “The only collective action these third-generation-rich _slugs_ care about is Coachella.”

The girl standing next to him gasps indignantly. “You _bitch_.”

“Shut up and go farm some more followers on Insta, Sungyeon.” Minho waves the girl away with one hand.

“Sorry about him,” Seungmin says, handing Sungyeon a new flyer. “We’d love it if you could come visit the animal shelter, Sungyeon.”

“Thanks, Seungmin, I will.”

Seungmin snatches the pile of flyers Minho’s holding. “Stop underestimating our schoolmates. We need their influence.”

“We _need _you to stop this before you get caught.” Minho says, snatching the flyers back. He turns to Jeongin. “Right, Jeongin?”

Jeongin points at himself slowly. “Me?”

“Yeah, you.” Minho makes a face. “What do you think?”

“I think…” Jeongin thinks about it. Suffice to say, he thinks about it very hard, because the crowd’s dissipated a little bit by the time he says something. “I think that we’re a team, and we should support Seungmin on this. As a team.”

Seungmin’s mouth curls into a triumphant grin. “Can’t believe Yang Jeongin’s being a better captain than you are, Cap.”

“Shut up.” Minho scowls at Jeongin.

Jeongin takes a wary step back. _Oh god what did I do._

“Don’t get me wrong, Seungmin. I am all for dismantling the corporations strangling our nation’s resources and saving all the cats on this fucking planet, but you’re going about this wrong.” Minho holds up a flyer. “Your flyers are _dry_ as fuck, for starters.”

“What’s wrong with them?” Jeongin asks, looking at his again.

“This font is unreadable, and you’ve got this huge wall of text no one’s going to bother with, and the QR code is too fucking small-” Minho sighs dramatically. “Give me thirty minutes, I’ve got Photoshop.”

Seungmin’s face lights up. “You’re gonna help me?”

Minho rolls his eyes at him. “Honestly, what about ‘I want to save all the cats on this fucking planet’ and ‘I hate rich people’ do you _not_ understand?”

Seungmin smiles.

“Hey babe? Baaaaaaabe?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Should I, uh,” Jisung swings his legs over the edge of the bed, watching Minho stare at his computer screen without blinking. “Should I put my pants back on first or are you nearly done with that?”

“You know HTML stuff, right?”

Jisung sighs. _Guess it’s time to put my pants back on._

“What do you need, babe?” Jisung asks, shimmying into his sweatpants.

Minho turns his Macbook around to show Jisung the screen. “How do I make this auto-resize on mobile devices so this link doesn’t get cut off…”

“Oh, that’s uh, I can’t put it into words but I know what you need.” Jisung says, bending over to check Minho’s code.

Minho pats his lap. “You can sit down, you know.”

“Oh. Okay.” Jisung places the laptop on his desk and settles into Minho’s lap. “So there’s this thing called the viewport meta tag- What’s this website for? School shit?”

“No, I’m helping Seungmin’s _Save the Animal Shelter_ agenda.”

Jisung twists halfway to look at Minho with adoration just pouring out of his eyes. “That’s really hot.”

Minho pecks him on the cheek. “Thanks, now tell me about the viewport thing before we get distracted.”

“Right.” Jisung nods and starts typing. “Not that I don’t care about Seungmin and the animals, but uh, after we finish this, can we…”

“Fuck?” Minho wraps his arms around Jisung’s waist, resting his chin on Jisung’s shoulder. “Of course.”

“…And Minho made a website and everything, so right now we’re basically spamming the mayor’s office with petitions until he caves in.”

Younghoon grins as he hands Jeongin a plate to dry. “What can I do to help?”

“You can help us promote it to the university people.” Jeongin says, stacking the plate along with the others. “I don’t think they’ll listen to a bunch of high schoolers…”

“You know I’m just a freshman, right?” Younghoon laughs. “I’m basically nobody over there.”

Jeongin frowns at him like he just _cannot_ wrap his mind around Younghoon being a nobody. _He’s the best._

“Hey boys, how are you two doing?” Jeongin’s mom comes out of their bedroom wearing a deep blue dress that barely hangs off her shoulders.

“_Mommy_ what are you _wearing_ everyone can see your entire _soul_-”

“Stop slutshaming your own mother.” Younghoon flicks water into Jeongin’s face. He smiles at his aunt. “You look nice, Auntie Rose.”

“Aww, thank you Younghoonnie,” His aunt does a self-indulgent twirl. “Anyway, we’re heading out soon as Jaehyun puts Yuna to bed. You know all the emergency numbers, right?”

“Uh…” Jeongin makes a face.

“Yeah.” Younghoon says, elbowing his cousin. “Don’t worry, Auntie, I’ve baby-sat before.”

“I still don’t see why _I_ need a baby-sitter, I’m _fifteen_ years old.” Jeongin grumbles.

His mom laughs heartily until Jeongin’s dad comes out of the room shushing her. “Yuna’s still kind of awake, but we’ve got to go or we’ll miss our reservation.”

“Of course, darling.” Jeongin’s mom beams at him.

They smile at each other for so long that Jeongin clears his throat. “He-llo? What happened to not missing your reservation?”

“Right.” Jeongin’s dad laughs. He claps Younghoon on the arm. “We’ll be home by midnight, but just in case we’re not, we’ve got keys of our own.”

“Anniversaries only come once a year, Uncle.” Younghoon shrugs. “You don’t need to come home tonight, even.”

Jeongin’s dad blushes. “We’re not- It’s not-”

“We’re going,” Jeongin’s mom cuts in, putting an arm around her husband’s waist. “Bye Younghoonnie! Behave yourself, Yang Jeongin.”

“What did _I_ do?” Jeongin whines.

“Bye! Have fun!” Younghoon dries his hands to lock the front door behind them. He walks back to the kitchen to finish washing the pans.

“My parents are so disgusting.” Jeongin makes a gagging noise, sticking out his tongue.

“I think they’re sweet.”

“That’s because you and Chan-hyung are disgusting, too.”

Younghoon nearly drops the pan from laughing. “One of these days you will date someone and-”

“No! No way!” Jeongin makes his arms into a big X. “I am _never_ going to date.”

“Mm-hm.” Younghoon just hums as he rinses the pan off, eyebrows raised.

_The next day _

Seungmin stops the cart of sacks of dog food he’d been pushing and leans into the office. “What’s up, Boss?”

The animal shelter’s manager keeps walking around in circles in the middle of the office.

“Boss. Hey Boss. What’s up?”

“We have _too many volunteers_!” Mr. Tuan replies, running his hands through his hair like he’s trying to go bald. “_THERE’S NOT ENOUGH WORK FOR THEM TO DO_!”

Seungmin laughs and pats his boss on the back. “By the way, I ordered pizza for everyone later.”

Mr. Tuan turns to him with his eyes wide. “What? How many pizzas did you order?”

“Thirty.”

“That must’ve cost a _fortune_, Seungmin!”

“I used my dad’s credit card.”

Mr. Tuan’s mouth is open, but his face keeps changing expression and can’t seem to say anything. _If he were a robot, you would have said he’s glitching_, Seungmin thinks, watching realization dawn over the manager’s face.

“Holy shit. You mean you used… DSG Corp’s money…” Mr. Tuan starts rubbing his temples. “Holy shit.”

“If the pizzas arrive while I’m out back, just let them in, Boss.” Seungmin says.

“O- Okay, yeah, sure.” Mr. Tuan nods, but his expression is distant as he still tries to come to terms with what Seungmin’s just done.

“See you later, Boss.” Seungmin salutes Mr. Tuan before going back to his cart of dog food, also purchased using the DSG Corp’s CEO’s extension card. Actually, the mayor’s office has cut off funding to the shelter for a month now, and Mr. Kim’s extension card is the only thing keeping the shelter up and running.

_But Mr. Tuan doesn’t need to know that._

“Oh my god, _no!_ Not the _puppies_!” Tzuyu gasps, covering her mouth with one hand. Then she realizes her nail polish isn’t dry yet and starts blowing on her nails.

“We have to do something.” Chaeyoung says, fanning her hands to dry her nails. “Let’s kill the mayor.”

Hyunjin and Tzuyu both frown at her. “_What_?”

“You know, like the French Revolution? Am I the only one who remembers that?”

“Dunno, I wasn’t there.” Hyunjin shrugs.

“It’s really cool of your friend to be fighting for the animal shelter,” Tzuyu says, in between blowing puffs of air onto her lavender nails.

“Yeah, I wanna meet him.” Chaeyoung says, flapping her black nails even more aggressively.

Hyunjin finishes painting his last pinky finger a shocking lime green. “I was actually going to go there to the shelter after lunch to help out. You guys can come with!”

“Yeah, sure!” Tzuyu squeezes Chaeyoung’s arm. “Oh my gosh I can’t wait to see the puppies.”

Chaeyoung looks down at the lavender splotches on her black t-shirt. “Uh…”

“Oh shit.” Tzuyu looks down at her nails. “Fuck.”

“I can do them again.” Hyunjin offers, reaching for the lavender bottle of gel polish.

“Yeah, you should probably do it, your hands are so steady.” Tzuyu laughs.

“It’s because he does sports and stuff.” Chaeyoung says.

“Yeah.” Tzuyu pinches Hyunjin’s cheek. “Our little _jock_.”

Hyunjin pauses in the middle of opening the bottle of nail polish, pinkies raised. “Do I have lavender on my face?”

“Oh crap.” Tzuyu gasps. “Sorry.”

Chaeyoung starts laughing so hard she knocks her nails into the side of Tzuyu’s bed. “Oh shit, your bedcover, sorry.”

Hyunjin accidentally knocks the bottle over, watching the polish spill onto Tzuyu’s white carpet. “Oh fuck.”

“So much for steady hands.” Chaeyoung mutters.

Tzuyu stares at them both with her mouth wide open in shock.

“Tzuyu, we’re so sorry-”

“Hyunjin, get the acetone-”

Tzuyu starts laughing. “Next time, we pay for the fucking professionals at the fucking salon, okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Definitely.”

“Where are you going?”

Changbin stops at the door. “I’m going to the animal shelter.”

His mom crosses her arms. “The _what_?”

“The place for abandoned animals. It’s two blocks away from the shop.” Changbin’s dad says.

“Who else is going to be there?” Changbin’s mom asks, narrowing her eyes at her son.

“Uh…” Changbin frowns. “…My friends?”

“Will Professor Park’s son be there?” Changbin’s dad asks.

Changbin feels his stomach turning again. “No, Felix didn’t reply on the group chat.”

“I thought I told you to stop chatting with him.” Changbin’s mom says.

“It’s the team group chat, Mom, I can’t leave it.”

“Hmph.”

“Be home by four.” Changbin’s dad says.

“_What_?” Changbin frowns. “Why-”

“We’re going out to a fancy dinner.” Changbin’s mom says. “All of us.”

Changbin looks at his parents. His mom is sitting at the kitchen table, scrolling absently on her phone while a cup of tea grows cold in front of her, and his dad is sitting on the couch eating peanuts while he watches TV. Sure, they don’t seem to be talking to each other, but maybe that’s a good thing.

It scares Changbin more than the opposite, though he doesn’t know why. _Shouldn’t I be happy?_

“Okay.” Changbin says. “I’ll hurry home.”


	24. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Tuan.” – Kim Seungmin

“Oh shit.”

Seungmin turns to Hyunjin in mild alarm. “What’s up?”

“My nails are ruined.” Hyunjin shows him the huge pink patch in the middle of his bright green ring fingernail. “Stupid cage.”

Seungmin shrugs. “It’s still cute.”

“Thanks.” Hyunjin smiles, crab-walking over to the next cage. “Hold up, is this Hyunjin?”

“Yeah.” Seungmin turns away so Hyunjin doesn’t see the embarrassed look on his face. _What the hell possessed you to name the kitten that, you dumbass?_

“She’s so big!”

“You haven’t been back in a while.”

Hyunjin gives Seungmin an apologetic, boxy smile. “Sorry.”

Seungmin gets up, brushing off his jeans. He usually doesn’t mind Hyunjin being cute like this, but there are literally twenty other people in the room right now and he doesn’t want any of them to figure out what Hyunjin can’t seem to.

“Park Hyunjiiin!”

Seungmin steps out of the way as two girls barrel into Hyunjin, knocking him over. Hyunjin had had the presence of mind to put Hyunjin the kitten on top of the cage before he fell, at least.

“Ohmygosh, sorry.” The taller girl says, helping Hyunjin up.

“What are your plans after this?”

“After… this? I don’t know,” Hyunjin looks up at Seungmin with such sparkly eyes that Seungmin almost gags.

“There’s pizza coming for everyone who volunteered today.” Seungmin says.

“Really?” The shorter girl asks, a wide grin crossing her face. Seungmin’s a little embarrassed that he doesn’t remember their names, Hyunjin had introduced them to him earlier but then again, over fifty people have been introduced to him today and there’s no way he can remember them all.

“Yeah.”

“We’re staying for the pizza.” The shorter girl says, shaking the taller one by the shoulder.

The taller girl turns to Seungmin with a dazzling, magazine-cover smile. “Oh, uh, we finished cleaning the dogs’ cages, what else can we do?”

“Not sure.” Seungmin usually has a mental database of everything going on in the animal shelter, he’s practically the shelter’s PC now, but Hyunjin’s friends are _really_ pretty and it’s erasing his memory like a very strong magnet does to a computer. Seungmin hadn’t realized that he’d cared about pretty girls. _Who knew._

Hyunjin holds Hyunjin the kitten out to Seungmin. “You wanna hold her?”

“Sure.” Seungmin picks up the kitten and nuzzles his nose into her fur. _Don’t worry, Hyunjin, _he assures her in his mind, _you’re still the prettiest girl. _

Hyunjin meows at him.

“That kitten’s really cute.” The shorter one of Hyunjin’s friends says, leaning in too close for Seungmin’s comfort.

“What’s her name?” The taller one asks.

Hyunjin and Seungmin exchange looks for a brief second. “Uh…”

“Hyunjin.”

“What?”

“Her name’s Hyunjin.” Seungmin says again.

“Like…him?” Hyunjin’s friend points at Hyunjin.

“No, no, no,” Hyunjin laughs. “Like the girl from Loona. Our boss likes Loona.”

“Ohhh. Interesting.”

Seungmin sighs as the girls start petting the cat in his arms. _I’m so sorry, Mr. Tuan._

The crate Changbin’s carrying is blocking his line of sight, so he’s just hoping people get out of his way. So far, they have.

“Excuse me, sorry,” Changbin steps around a bunch of people mopping the floor. “Sorry, excuse me.”

“Changbin!” Mr. Tuan gasps, tapping Changbin on the arm to stop him. “Why are you carrying that by yourself, holy crap-”

“I’m fine, Mr. Tuan.” Changbin huffs. _I’d be more fine if you would move a little bit to the left so I could put this box down sooner…_

“I’ll get out of your way, sorry.” Mr. Tuan says, as if reading Changbin’s mind. He’d probably just seen how red Changbin’s face is getting from the effort.

Changbin carries the crate past a bunch of people handing out flyers in the lobby, then walks into the storage room to put it down.

“Hey Changbin,” Chan says, holding the door open for Changbin with one foot. “Need help?”

“No thanks, I’m good.”

But Chan, being Chan, reaches over and takes half the crate in his arms. “Damn, this is heavy.”

“I’m fine,” Changbin insists, though he knows it’s pointless. Chan helps him gently lower the crate next to some others near the back of the room.

“It’s really great that the whole team is here.” Chan says, brushing his hands off on his jeans. “People don’t usually like to give up their weekends.”

“The free pizza helps.” Changbin shrugs.

Chan laughs, the kind of knee-slapping, whole-body laugh that looks ingenuine on anyone else. Changbin smiles.

“Is there anything else that needs to be brought here?” Chan asks.

“I think there’s another box, but it’s not as big as this one.” Changbin replies.

“I’ll go get it, you should probably take a break.” Chan pats Changbin on the arm. “There’s water in the office if you’re thirsty.”

“Thanks, but I’ll just, uh, sit here for a minute.”

“Sure! Don’t tire yourself out too much, Changbin.” Chan grins. “I’ll go get that box.”

Changbin sighs and dumps himself in the nearest plastic chair. The storage room is dim and cold, and he’s probably more tired than he thought he was, because the next thing he knows, someone’s gently shaking his shoulder.

Changbin jolts awake. “H- Huh?”

“Why are you sleeping _here_?” Hyunjin frowns. “You should’ve gone to the office, there’s a couch there.”

Changbin rubs his eyes, but as he does, he catches a glimpse of the clock on the wall. “Fuck.”

“What?” Hyunjin turns and looks at the clock. “Oh yeah, the pizza’s-”

“I’ve got to go. My parents are probably-” Changbin says, scrambling to his feet though one of his legs is still numb from sleeping on a chair. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, you did a lot today,” Hyunjin steps out of the way as Changbin rushes out the door. “I’ll tell the others you left.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Changbin pulls out his phone, frowning at the stream of notifications getting angrier and angrier. “Shit.”

“What is it?” Hyunjin frowns.

Changbin’s already running down the hallway.

“Oof.”

Someone crashes into Felix, knocking him into the bulletin board behind him. Felix has got the person by the shoulders and he’s about to get angry when he realizes it’s Changbin.

Felix lets go and draws his hands quickly to his sides. “Hi Cap.”

Changbin avoids his eyes. “Hi, sorry, I- I’m- I have to go home.”

Felix had tried to forget Changbin’s parents and the awful things his mom said, but now he’s thinking about it again.

“Bye, Cap.” Felix says softly. What he wants to say is, _I’m never going to forgive your mom for being rude to my parents._

“Bye.” Changbin says, before running off towards the exit.

Felix hopes that means, _I’m never going to forgive her, either._

_The Sunday before_

Felix’s dads are silent the entire ride home. They even forget to turn on the radio, so the three of them have to listen to the whirr of the car and the cars around them for a good thirty minutes.

When they get to the apartment, Felix goes straight to his room and closes the door.

He looks at his darkened monitors and the consoles scattered on the floor – he _really_ needs to clean his room – but he ends up shedding his uniform onto the rug and flopping onto his bed in his underwear.

Felix’s mind plays the scene again and again on loop.

Someone knocks on his door. “Felix?”

_Oh. It’s just Papa._

“Wait, I’ll get dressed.”

“Okay.”

Felix finds a clean shirt and sweats to change into. He knows he should take a shower, but he just doesn’t feel like it.

He opens the door for his papa. “Hey.”

“Come sit with us on the couch.” His papa says, putting one hand gingerly on Felix’s back.

Felix usually likes sitting with his dads on the couch, because that means they’re going to watch a movie or play a board game or something, but he’s not _that_ stupid. He settles into the seat between his parents and folds his hands in his lap.

He bends his knuckles, but they’re not cracking. He doesn’t look up, but he’s just waiting for one of his dads to say something. He knows where this is going, because he’s had to have this talk pretty much every year since they adopted him. _Many people still don’t accept us for who we are and whom we love, they can be very hateful, don’t let them stop you from living a good life, there are so many good people out there that you don’t have to waste your time thinking about the shitty people-_

“We think you should stop hanging out with Changbin.”

Felix looks up at his dad. He was not expecting _that_.

“Why?” Felix asks. His voice is more choked than he’d thought it would be.

“Because we don’t want to mess things up between him and his family.” Felix’s dad says.

“But his mom’s a _jerk_-”

“We don’t know her, Felix.” Felix’s papa cuts in. “We can’t judge her like that.”

“But you saw how she judged _you_-”

“That makes her normal. Most people around here have never met an openly gay man.” Felix’s dad says. “Much less two of them married to each other.”

Felix crosses his arms. “Doesn’t give her the right to be rude.”

“No, it doesn’t, but we get where she’s coming from.” Felix’s papa says. “And we can get that she’s just trying to protect her son.”

“It’s not like him spending time with you guys is gonna make him _gay_.” Felix says bitterly. _It hasn’t._ “It doesn’t make any sense!”

“I know, Felix, but you know how people are. They’ve always been like that.” Felix’s dad sighs. “I’m sorry that you always get the short end of the stick-”

“I don’t see why I have to stop hanging out with Changbin.”

“Because family is important, Felix. I would never let anything get between you and me or your dad,” Felix’s papa says. “Let’s not do it to Changbin and his parents.”

Felix clenches his teeth, feeling tears stream down his cheeks. _Of course. _He knew he wouldn’t get out of this without crying himself dehydrated.

His papa puts his arms around him, pulling him into a very tight hug.

“I can’t do it, Papa.” Felix mumbles into his papa’s chest. “I really like him.”

“I know you do.” His papa whispers into his hair. “We like him too.”

Felix cries until his papa’s sweater is drenched, lets his dad give him a hug and a kiss on the top of his head, then goes to take a shower. He stands under the stream of water for a long time, because he can hear his dads arguing in the next room and it roots him to the spot.

“I told you we should’ve just gone back to the States!”

“And it would’ve been better there?”

“_Anywhere_ is better than here! The people here are so archaic and dumb-”

“They’re _our_ people, Jae. Isn’t that what you’re here for? So they don’t end up _archaic and dumb_?”

“I just-” Felix’s dad groans loudly. “All of this shit is messing Felix up, you know that?”

His papa doesn’t say anything, or at least Felix can’t hear what he says.

“So much for giving him a better life than what he had before.” Felix’s dad scoffs.

“Take that back.” Felix’s papa says.

“It’s true and you know it! Maybe we should’ve let a normal family adopt him-”

“We _are_ a normal family!”

“It doesn’t matter what we think if _everyone _out there thinks we’re freaks-”

“We are _not_ freaks!”

Felix’s dad lets out a loud sob. “I’m just so tired of everyone always giving the poor kid shit because of _our_ fucking choices-”

“Shut up, Jae.”

“I’m so fucking tired!”

“Shut up!”

“What, I’m not allowed to be tired, Matt? I’ve got to be a perfect husband all the time?”

“Jae, that’s not-”

“Felix is probably sick and tired of us but he’s just too nice to say it!”

Felix turns the shower off and steps out. He buries his face in his towel, covering his ears, but he can still hear them. He digs around the mess in his room looking for his noise-cancelling headphones, but he can’t find them for some reason. He curls up into a ball on the floor and cries into his knees.

> Post by _felixverse _[03:28 AM]
> 
> _Sorry guys, I know I said I’d stream today, but something came up so I can’t. I’ll try next week, but I can’t make any promises. :(_

Felix hears his phone let out a soft _ping_.

> _1 new comment from 10V3bomb_

Felix frowns at the notification. _Why are they still awake? They must be in a different time zone._

He clicks the notification.

> _10V3bomb: _i hope ur doing okay felix :(

Felix hits the reply button. He lies there staring at his phone, the reply box open and the cursor blinking, until he eventually falls asleep from sheer exhaustion.

He doesn’t see the next comment until alarm wakes him up the next morning.

> _1 new comment from 10V3bomb_
> 
> _10V3bomb: _im sorry people can be so mean

_Present_

Changbin watches his mom pluck her table napkin off the plate and spread it out across her lap. He looks at his dad, who’s watching his mom with a vaguely lost look. His dad uses one finger to tug at the collar of his button-down. It’s too tight, but he doesn’t have any others that Changbin’s mom had approved of.

A waiter lowers a basket of bread in front of them, and a little ceramic bowl in the shape of a sheep. There’s a little cube of what looks like butter in the bowl, but it’s speckled all over with something green. Changbin squints at it.

“Changbin.” His mom says, frowning at Changbin’s table napkin, folded into a slightly wilted flower on his plate.

“Oh. Sorry.” Changbin’s too mystified to argue. He unfolds his napkin and lays it out on his lap.

Changbin’s mom picks up a slice of bread and spreads a tiny, nearly-invisible layer of the butter-with-green-specks on it. Changbin leans forward and sniffs the butter-with-green-specks. It smells a bit grassy.

“Try it.” His mom puts the barely buttered, tiny slice on Changbin’s tiny plate. _Why is everything so small? Are we supposed to be hungry after this dinner? Is that what fancy eating is like?_

A waiter offers Changbin’s dad the wine menu. Changbin peeks over his dad’s shoulder. There are too many zeroes on all the prices. Changbin watches his dad’s forehead crumple up for a second.

“I’ll have two glasses of this one, please.” Changbin’s dad says, calmly pointing at something on the menu. _It doesn’t matter which one it is. We can’t afford anything here._

Changbin looks down at his toast with an invisible layer of leaf butter.

_What the fuck are we doing here?_

“Thank you,” Changbin’s parents say at once when the waiter arrives with the wine. They look at each other and smile.

Changbin wants to walk out of the restaurant, but it’s so dimly lit he doesn’t know the way out.

“What’s all this for?” Changbin frowns, just as the waiter brings them a plate with literally one handful of multicolored leaves on it.

“What do you mean?” Changbin’s mom asks.

“Why are we having dinner here, Mom?”

“Why not?” Changbin’s mom cocks her head to one side curiously, with an expression so innocent Changbin doesn’t know what to think.

“We…” Changbin lowers his voice, hoping the couple at the next table can’t hear him when he says, “We can’t afford this place.”

“It’s just for today.” Changbin’s dad says with a good-natured chuckle. He makes a face at the multicolored salad in the middle of their table. “You think there’s a guy back there just painting these?”

Changbin’s mom laughs.

“There are naturally purple leaves.” Changbin mutters.

“We know, Changbin, your dad’s just joking.”

Changbin crosses his arms and looks over at the couple on the next table. The woman’s wearing an all-white pantsuit and the man’s wearing an all-black, Steve Jobs sort of outfit, and they haven’t said a word to each other since Changbin and his family had arrived.

Meanwhile, Changbin’s parents are snickering about the wine being stronger than a wine has any right being.

“You think there’s someone back there tipping in a few shots of soju-”

“Dongho, _stop_!” Changbin’s mom lifts her table napkin to cover her face, which is getting red from laughing.

Changbin frowns. His mom’s hardly wearing any makeup. He hadn’t noticed it earlier, but now that she’s wiping tears from her eyes with her entire hand, it’s obvious she’s not skirting around makeup like she usually does.

Their steak arrives, and Changbin’s father immediately starts slicing it into tiny pieces.

“Dongho, that’s not how you’re supposed to do it in restaurants like this.” Changbin’s mom says.

Changbin’s dad looks up at her for a moment, and Changbin’s worried they’re going to go at it in the middle of this tiny plate restaurant.

“How are you supposed to do it?” Changbin’s dad asks.

“You’re supposed to only cut a piece when you’re going to eat it.” Changbin’s mom replies curtly.

“That’s going to take forever.”

Changbin’s mom scoffs. _Here we go, _Changbin thinks, fidgeting with the edge of his table napkin.

“You’re right.” Changbin’s mom says. “Just cut it all, I’m hungry.”

Changbin’s dad laughs as he returns to cutting the steak up. He uses his spoon to scoop some of the pieces onto Changbin’s plate, then onto his wife’s plate, before giving himself the last (and smallest) portion of the steak. Changbin feels like this isn’t the occasion to use a spoon, and that it’s weird that his mom’s not saying anything about it, but he just nods his head politely and thanks his dad for the food.

Changbin’s only just gotten a piece of steak into his mouth when his mom asks his dad, “Have you told Changbin yet?”

“Told him what?”

“Dongho!” Changbin’s mom chides, but in this unnatural, joking kind of way. Changbin thinks about it for a moment. _It’s not unnatural, really. They used to be like this when I was younger. Always joking around and stuff. _

_I had to grow a BS radar at age 5 because they kept pulling pranks on me._

“Your mom and I are going on a trip for Valentine’s.” Changbin’s dad says.

Changbin’s mouth drops open, and his hardly-chewed steak tumbles back onto his plate. He quickly catches himself and tries to straighten his face out. “We can’t afford a trip.”

Changbin’s mom starts laughing. “Jeez, you sound just like your father.”

“It’s just a few days, and we’re not leaving the country.” Changbin’s father shrugs. “Anyway, we’ll be gone five days, so we won’t be back until…”

“Three days after Valentine’s.” Changbin’s mom says. “That’s next Thursday, I think.”

“Yeah.” Changbin’s dad agrees.

“You’ll be fine without us, won’t you, Changbin?” His mom asks, but the corner of her mouth is tilted up like she’s teasing him. “You’re a big boy now.”

“Of course he’ll be fine without us.” Changbin’s dad says. He frowns at Changbin. “Changbin?”

Changbin just stares at them both.


	25. The Valentine’s Day Special That’s Way Overdue

“Ohhh crap.” Minho says, frowning at the calendar on his phone. “I can’t go if it’s tomorrow, sorry.”

Seungmin makes a face at him. “And why _not_?”

“It’s Valentine’s day.”

“That’s a made-up holiday, Minho.”

“Crap.” Jeongin sighs. “I can’t go either if it’s Valentine’s, I’ll have to baby-sit Yuna.”

“What is everyone’s deal with _Valentine’s_ _Day_?” Seungmin groans. “It’s an _American _holiday! Do we _look_ like we’re in America?”

“It’s an excuse to go out on dates.” Minho shrugs.

“_You_ don’t wait for excuses to do that.” Jeongin makes a face at their captain.

“Oh, true.” Minho shrugs again. “We agreed that Jisung’s paying for our dates only every Valentine’s, though, so it’s special.”

“Really? He must hate it then.” Jeongin says.

“Yeah, kinda.” Minho says. “But it’s nothing a good suck can’t fix.”

Jeongin’s face turns an interesting shade of green.

“So I guess I have to move our visit to the mayor’s office.” Seungmin says, having successfully ignored them both for the past minute or so. “’Cause there’s no way I’m doing it alone.”

“Mr. Tuan’s not coming with you?” Minho asks.

“No, of course not. He could lose his _job_.” Seungmin fixes Minho with a very serious look. “Don’t you dare tell him about this.”

“You mean he doesn’t know you’re going to fight the mayor? What the _hell_?” Jeongin squeaks out.

“I’m not going to _fight_ him,” Seungmin’s hands curl into fists. “Unless he fights _me_ first.”

“Hey, Changbin.”

Changbin stops looking at Felix’s locker and slams his own shut. He turns to Chanhee, who’d been standing next to Changbin for god knows how long. “Yeah?”

“Mina likes skateboarding, right?”

Changbin frowns. “Among other things, yeah.”

Chanhee lowers his voice to a whisper. “Do you think she’ll say yes if I ask her out?”

Changbin sputters and coughs for a whole minute. He has to shove Chanhee away to get the latter to stop pounding Changbin’s back like he’s trying to break it.

“W- Why the _fuck_ would you ask Mina out?” Changbin finally manages to say.

“Keep it down!” Chanhee clamps a hand over Changbin’s mouth. He starts whispering again. “Because I’m in love with her, duh.”

Changbin shoves Chanhee’s hand off his mouth. “_You_? You wouldn’t know what love is if it ran you over with a truck.”

“What the fuck does that even mean?” Chanhee’s face suddenly sobers up. “Wait, do _you_ like Mina?”

“No, of course not.” Changbin scoffs, crossing his arms. “If I liked Mina, we’d be dating already.”

Chanhee nods. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.”

“What you should be asking me is, _Does Mina like _you_?_”

“Wait, Mina likes _you_?”

“No, not me, _you_\- God fucking dammit this is hopeless.” Changbin groans. “Ask Mina out, but don’t tell her you’re in love with her or dumb shit like that, it’ll scare the shit out of her.”

“_Why_?”

Changbin doesn’t even know where to start with him. He doesn’t dislike Chanhee, quite the opposite, really, but sometimes he’s _such_ a typical _boy_. “Or she’ll think you’re messing with her and she’s going to beat your ass.”

“Who’s gonna beat Chanhee’s ass?” Mina pops out of nowhere, resting her chin on Changbin’s shoulder.

Chanhee yells and starting running down the hallway.

“The fuck’s wrong with him?” Mina laughs.

“Many things.” Changbin shakes his head. “Many, many things.”

“Speaking of Chanhee-”

“I don’t know whom he’s got a crush on, okay! Go ask him yourself!” Changbin throws his hands up and turns to go.

Felix stops right in front of him, one step away from a collision. “Sorry.”

Felix squats down and starts fumbling with the lock on his locker, clearly distracted.

Changbin takes a deep breath. “Hey Mina.”

“Yeah?”

“Chanhee’s going to ask Choi Tzuyu out for Valentine’s.”

“_What_? She’s a _lesbian_!”

“You’d better stop him.”

“The fucking dumbass!” Mina grumbles, stomping off to find their other friend.

Changbin leans against the lockers, watching Felix get more and more frustrated with his lock. He can’t watch this.

He squats next to Felix and spins the combination in. He’s seen Felix do it probably a hundred times, and it’s all prime numbers, so it’s easy to remember.

Felix stares dead ahead while Changbin opens his locker door for him. “I should probably change the combination.”

“I’m not gonna steal your shit, Felix.”

Felix still doesn’t move, so Changbin takes his lunch box from him and places it inside the locker.

“What’s your first class?” Changbin asks, scanning the spines of Felix’s books.

“What are you doing?”

Changbin doesn’t have a good answer for that. “I don’t know.”

“Leave me alone.”

“Sorry.” Changbin stands up. He shouldn’t have done that. He doesn’t know why he did it anyway. “I’m sorry my mom was so awful to your parents.”

Changbin shuts his eyes. He shouldn’t have said that. He doesn’t know why he did anyway.

“She’s right, though.” Felix mutters. “So you should probably stop talking to me-”

“No she’s a bigot and I’m sorry you had to be on the receiving end of it.” _Stop talking, Changbin, just stop. _“I’m going to talk to you if I want to, she can’t stop me.”

Felix looks up at Changbin, and his eyes are big and watery and the freckles stand out across his nose more than usual and it’s making Changbin’s stomach churn.

“I’ve got to go to class.” Changbin says, though they both know that class won’t start for another half hour.

“Bye, Cap.”

“Bye.” Changbin says curtly, before turning to leave. He realizes he’d forgotten to get his book, but he could always just share Mina’s during class. _She’s the reason I’m so messed up today, if you think about it._

Hyunjin stops in front of his locker. “What are you guys doing?”

Chaeyoung uses her teeth to bite off a strip of duct tape. “Protecting your ass.”

Tzuyu takes the tape and smacks it over the vents in Hyunjin’s locker. “Another one please, Chae.”

“Again, what the _hell_ are you guys doing?”

“_An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure_.” Chaeyoung says.

Tzuyu smacks the duct tape over the last two vents in Hyunjin’s locker. “Damn right.”

“Wha-”

“Tomorrow’s Valentine’s day.” Chaeyoung says.

“And what of it?” Hyunjin says, trying to peel the duct tape off without damaging the paint. He doesn’t want detention for graffiti he didn’t _actually_ do.

Tzuyu smacks his hand away. “Where have you been the last two years? People stuff their crushes’ lockers with all sorts of shit every Valentine’s and it’s a fucking headache to clean.”

“We’ve already taped Tzuyu’s up.” Chaeyoung says proudly.

“What about yours?” Hyunjin frowns at her.

“Oh, I don’t have one, I just leave my stuff in Tzuyu’s locker.”

“Like my purse.” Tzuyu rolls her eyes.

Hyunjin frowns at the duct tape. “Nobody’s ever going to put stuff in _my_ locker, guys.”

Tzuyu starts laughing sarcastically and Chaeyoung lets out a loud hoot.

“Oh Park Hyunjin, you sweet, sweet summer child. You’re on people’s radar now.” Chaeyoung says, patting Hyunjin on the arm like she’s comforting him over a dead pet.

“You would not _believe_ how many people have asked us to introduce you to them.” Tzuyu groans.

Hyunjin frowns at them. “So why haven’t I met any of these people?”

“Because you’re a precious summer child and they’re just going to fuck you up.” Chaeyoung says matter-of-factly. “You should date someone who’s sweet, intelligent, kind, funny…”

“Is Seungmin into guys?” Tzuyu asks.

Hyunjin chokes on thin air. “I- Aaackk- I don’t- I don’t know.”

“Hey noona.”

Jimin looks up from her textbook. “You’re home early.”

“There’s not much to do at the shelter these days.” Seungmin hangs his coat up. “There are too many volunteers.”

“Isn’t that a good thing? Now the mayor can’t just shut it down for fear of looking like a dick in front of the voters.”

“Yeah.” Seungmin flops onto the couch next to her. He glances over at her textbook. “Is there any legal basis for saving the animal shelter? Like a law or something?”

“Oh damn…” Jimin flips through a few pages absently. “If there is, I’ve never heard of it. We’re doing criminal law right now.”

“Isn’t it a crime to throw all those animals out with nowhere to go? And take away Mr. Tuan’s job?”

Jimin starts laughing.

Seungmin frowns at her mug on the table. It doesn’t smell like alcohol. “Noona? You okay?”

“It’s just so funny that Mark Tuan runs that place, of all people.” Jimin wipes away one tear. “That guy was _so_ not the managerial type in high school.”

“Oh, right he went to W------ High, too.” Seungmin puts his feet up on the coffee table. “What was he like back then?”

“Really shy. He was a couple years older than me and Jinyoung but I don’t think I ever heard him say a single word.”

“Interesting.” Seungmin wishes Mr. Tuan would say fewer words. Or just less incriminating ones. “I think he has a crush on Coach Park.”

“_What_?” Jimin throws her textbook out of her lap. “_WHAT_?”

“Why are you so surprised?”

“Actually, I have no idea.” Jimin laughs again. Seungmin’s worried this criminal law book is making her unhinged. “_Everyone_ had a crush on Park Jinyoung back in high school.”

Seungmin’s brow furrows. “Can’t imagine it.”

“Oh, he was hot. Super popular. Well, not always. He was my friend for the first two years.” Jimin heaves a very deep sigh. “He was an asshole. I’m glad he seems much better now.”

Seungmin shrugs. He’s just glad Hyunjin’s almost nothing like his brother, but it’d be rude to say that out loud.

“Please let me know if they start dating, I would _die._” Jimin snorts. “Park Jinyoung and Mark Tuan. The fucking _concept_.”

Younghoon unlocks his dorm room. He sees someone in a jacket that’s way too bright for his roommate’s decidedly goth taste, so he backs out again. “Sorry.”

_Wait a second. _He looks down at his keys. They shouldn’t be able to unlock someone else’s room.

He steps into the room again.

The person in the near-white denim jacket waves excitedly.

Younghoon stands stunned in the doorway. “Chan?”

“You wouldn’t believe how easy it was for me to find his number.” Younghoon’s roommate says, swiveling around in his chair. “He has no concept of privacy online, it’s a fucking riot.”

Chan blushes. “Sorry.”

“W- What?”

“I’ve got a third date tonight,” Younghoon’s roommate says, getting up and taking his coat off the hook by the door. “So I decided to be the best roommate ever.” He waves a set of jazz hands over Chan.

“I… what?”

“Third date. I’m not coming home tonight…” Younghoon’s roommate sighs. “I’m going to have sex tonight, so I felt like you should do the same.”

“Oh.” Younghoon chews on his bottom lip, feeling his entire face warm up right to the tips of his ears. “You didn’t have to-”

“Stalk your boyfriend and invite him over for you? I know, I’m the greatest.” Younghoon’s roommate grins. “Happy Advanced Valentine’s, stay out of my side of the room or I’ll kill you both.”

He flashes Younghoon and Chan two peace signs before slamming the door shut behind him. Younghoon turns around.

Chan’s sitting on the edge of Younghoon’s bed, twiddling his thumbs. “So… uh…”

“I’ve got a lot of homework to do.” Younghoon blurts out. “Sorry.”

“That’s okay! I’ll keep you company.” Chan beams.

“You don’t have homework of your own?”

“Oh, well, I do, but I…” Chan grimaces. “I left it at home.”

Younghoon sighs as he sheds his jacket. “You don’t remember what it is?”

“It’s Math.”

“Isn’t Coach Park your teacher? Text-”

“_I can’t ask Coach Park what his own homework is!_”

“I was gonna say text Hyunjin.” Younghoon says.

“Oh.”

Younghoon sits at his desk and starts pulling his laptop out of his bag when he remembers something. He rolls over to the bed and cups Chan’s face in his hands. “Wait, can’t believe I almost forgot.”

“What?”

“Hi, I missed you.” Younghoon smiles as he pulls Chan into a kiss.

_The next morning_

Changbin hadn’t gotten any sleep.

His parents hadn’t kept him up, but then again they kind of _had_. They’d left two nights before, so he’d actually had the house to himself last night and it was the quietest his house had been in a long time. It was so quiet that he could hear the wind whistling softly between the apartment buildings, but he just couldn’t stop thinking about his parents and their stupid Valentine’s trip. It’s reminding him of this time when he was in kindergarten and his parents had pretended he was invisible for an entire afternoon. He doesn’t remember the details, but he does remember the feeling of knowing that they were just messing with him, but also feeling tortured just waiting for his parents to say sike and give up this stupid prank. _This feels just like that. It’s like they’re going to come home, say sike, then go back to fighting again…_

_Why can’t I just be happy for them?_

He trudges towards his locker, yawning.

“Hey! Give that back!”

Changbin stops dead in his tracks.

That Junhyun kid’s holding an envelope above his head, and Felix is jumping to get it. Changbin storms over, knowing full well that if Felix can’t reach it, _he_ definitely can’t.

“HEY!” Changbin yells.

Junhyun goes statue still, holding the little yellow envelope _just_ out of Felix’s reach.

“Give it back to him. _Now_.” Changbin growls.

“B- But he-”

“I don’t give a fuck. Let him have his stupid goddamned Valentine.” Changbin says.

Junhyun doesn’t move. “It’s not _his _Valentine.”

“I don’t give a fuck, just give it back.” Changbin says. Then he frowns up at the sophomore as a shit-eating grin spreads across the latter’s face.

“He was trying to put it in _your_ locker.”

Changbin suddenly feels all the eyes on him and hears all the whispers around him. It’s like a weight pressing in from all sides, and it’s making him lightheaded.

Junhyun snorts. “Gross, right?”

Changbin’s not had breakfast, he’s not had coffee, and he’s not had a good night’s sleep. So he understands why he does what he does next, at least.

Chan’s just shut his locker when he hears people shouting down the hallway. He’s had a wonderful evening and he’s still in a wonderful mood, and he’s never been the sort of person who slows down to gawk at car crashes, anyway. So he tries to walk past the mess as quickly as possible.

Until he sees Changbin land a punch on some kid’s stomach. The other guy crumples to the ground.

“Cap! Stop!” Felix screams.

Chan runs in and grabs Changbin’s arms, holding him back before he can do anything else. “Changbin! What are you-”

“Let me go!” Changbin shouts, twisting his arms free. “He started it-”

“I don’t care who started it! You can’t just pick on people because you’re older-”

“You think I’m _picking on him_? You fucking idiot!”

“Cap!” Felix shouts. “Stop it!”

“Fucking-” Changbin pushes Chan away, sending him knocking into the lockers. “Fuck you. Fuck all of you.”

“Changbin!” Chan rubs his shoulder, which had hit the lockers a weird way. “Get back here!”

Changbin flips him the bird and stomps off. The crowd parts like the Red Sea, if the Red Sea had moved the way it had out of pure fear.

Chan rubs his shoulder. It’s beyond weird – it _hurts_.

_Did Changbin just… hurt me?_

Felix can’t move from the spot, staring down at the envelope on the floor. There’s a dark pattern on it from when Changbin had stepped on it as he’d stormed off.

He knows there are a lot of people looking at him, and he _does_ care, no matter what anyone says. So he really hates himself when the hot tears start running down his face, right in front of everyone.

“Felix, help me take him to the nurse’s office.” Chan says, holding one shoulder as he crouches over Junhyun, who’s still rolling on the tiled floor in pain.

_You can’t do it. _Felix tells himself. _You’d be such a loser if you fucking _helped _Junhyun after all that._

“Felix, please.” Chan winces, gripping his shoulder more tightly. “I can’t do it.”

_Junhyun’s right. _

_Changbin’s disgusted with you. _

_And you’re a loser._

Felix squats down, slinging one of Junhyun’s arms over his shoulder. “I need you to try to stand up, Junhyun. On the count of three.”

Junhyun starts wailing. “NO! NO! NO!”

Felix lowers him back gently onto the floor. He knows Junhyun well enough to know he isn’t faking it. “I’m going to call the nurse, okay? I’ll be right back.”

Junhyun nods in pained silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Did Changbin just… hurt me?” – my sister when she listened to levanter eng ver
> 
> thanks to everyone for all the comments, i love reading through them but i just don't have the time to reply, sorry :( ❤


	26. “I don’t think gay people should get married, it’s not right.” – pressed local #4

_Over a year earlier_

“How do you spell that?”

“In English?”

“Yeah.”

“F-E-L-I-X.”

“Holy crap, you have an _X_ in your name? Like the _X-MEN_?”

Felix frowns at his classmate, who’s bouncing out of his seat. He’d never really thought much about the X or any of the other letters in his name. “Yeah.”

“Cool.” His classmate whistles. “Super cool.”

Felix doesn’t think so, but he finds it funny that his classmate does. “Sorry, what’s your name again?”

“Junhyun. Jang Junhyun.”

“Oh, okay. Cool.”

“My favorite Avenger is… Iron Man.” Felix says, before quickly adding, “But not because of what you think!”

“Not because he’s just the _best_ Avenger out there?” Junhyun scoffs, holding Felix’s feet while the latter does sit-ups.

“No, because he used to be the worst. But he got better.” Felix says. “It’s not like Steve Rogers who was just nice from the beginning and never had to actually change-”

“Who’s Steve Rogers?”

“Captain America.”

“Oh, him.” Junhyun shakes his head. “You’re right, he’s boring.”

“You don’t play Call of Duty?”

“I mean, I have it, and I play it with my-” Felix catches himself. It’s one thing to make that mistake once, but he won’t do it again. “My _dad_, but I’m really more of a Minecraft guy.”

“I wish my dad would play video games.” Junhyun rolls his eyes, walking forward with the line at the cafeteria. “My dad’s so old and boring. All he does is watch the news.”

“My dad doesn’t watch the news.” Felix says, picking up a tray and handing it to Junhyun before taking one for himself. “He says Twitter’s got everything he needs anyway, why sit through a whole hour of bad vibes?”

Junhyun laughs. “Your dad must be young.”

“Yeah, he just turned thirty last week.”

“He’s _way_ younger than my dad, my dad’s nearly sixty.” Junhyun nods. Then he stops in mid-step. “Wait, so how old was he when you were born?”

“Well, I’m thirteen now so…” Felix screws up his face. “Twenty-seven?”

Junhyun whistles. “He’s so young. My dad was in his forties when I was born.”

“Dude, your shirt…” Felix frowns at the giant brown splotch on the back of Junhyun’s shirt.

Junhyun tries to twist to see what Felix is looking at. “What is it?”

“There’s a brown thing.”

“Son of a bitch! This is probably my brother’s. Fucking…” Junhyun stops by a floor-to-ceiling window to look at his reflection. “My brother’s such a fucking animal.”

“It’s not… that bad?”

“It _is_ that bad.” Junhyun groans. “Everyone’s going to give me shit for this. It looks like I _did_ shit… on my shirt! They’re never gonna let me live it down.”

“You can borrow my hoodie.” Felix says, holding onto the bottom hem to take it off.

“But-” Junhyun hesitates. “Ah, fuck it, hand it over.”

“Here.”

“Jang Junhyun what the _hell_ are you wearing?”

“Did you steal your sister’s clothes or what?”

“JANG JUNHYUN WHAT THE FUUUUCK HAHAHHAHAHA!”

Junhyun stops in the doorway of the classroom.

“Junhyun-” Felix starts, but the latter just turns on his heel and walks straight out of the room. Felix frowns at his classmates, still wiping tears from their eyes. He stomps over to them and stands in the middle of their circle. “It’s _my_ hoodie.”

They’re all quiet for a long while. Then one of them snorts. “Congratulations. What do you want us to say?”

Felix clears his throat and, in razor-sharp English, says, “_I hope you all choke_.”

“Hey.” Felix walks up to Junhyun, who’d cut their classes that morning. He’d found him sitting under a tree behind the school.

Junhyun throws something to Felix. “Thanks.”

Felix catches it. It’s a tie-dyed baby pink bundle. _Oh. It’s my hoodie. _

“Hey, just ignore them.”

“People always say that. _Just ignore them_.” Junhyun says. “That’s bullshit.”

Felix sits down on the grass next to him. “Yeah.”

“People gave one of my older sisters such a hard time she had to transfer schools.” Junhyun says. He shakes his head. “I’m not going to end up like her.”

“That happened to me.” Felix admits. Then he immediately wishes he hadn’t, because Junhyun fixes him with this wide-eyed, curious look.

“What happened?”

“They uh… they…” Felix takes a deep breath. He’s not going to let it happen again. “People just didn’t like me.”

“Why not? You’re nice.” Junhyun scoffs. “_Stupid_ nice.”

“Well, thanks, Junhyun,” Felix laughs. “Real glad to know I’m _stupid_ nice.”

“It’s true, you’re the nicest person I know.”

_Present_

“Sorry, you have to stay back-”

“I’m coming.” Felix says, climbing into the ambulance before the school nurse can stop him. He’d known that whatever had happened to Junhyun had been more serious than the usual bruising that comes out of dumb school fights. But seeing Junhyun laying under the harsh ambulance lights like this? It makes him shudder.

“What happened?” The EMT asks him.

“My…” Felix looks at Junhyun again. “Someone punched him.”

“Just _once_?” The EMT asks incredulously.

“He was really mad.”

Junhyun groans, but it’s closer to a pitiful whine, like an animal stuck in a trap. Felix reaches out on instinct to pat Junhyun’s arm.

“Hang in there, dude.”

_Over a year ago_

“I mean, it _could’ve_ worked out. But you’re just not… the right _height_ for it,” Junhyun says, trying and failing to hide a grin as he rests a hand on the top of Felix’s head. Felix punches him on the arm.

“Screw you, dude.” Felix grumbles. “I’m going to get a growth spurt one of these days and be like, a foot taller than you.”

“That’s _over seven feet_.” Junhyun chortles.

Felix sighs, leaning against the lockers. “Okay, I know I never had any hope with the basketball team to begin with.”

“You could join one of the other teams.” Junhyun says.

“Hey Jang Junhyun!” One of the upperclassmen extends a hand for Junhyun to high-five. Felix figures he must be from the basketball team, since the entirety of the high-five happened above his head.

“Hey man!” Junhyun says. “My friend wants to join a varsity, but he didn’t make the cut for basketball.”

_Ouch, _Felix thinks.

“Got any suggestions?”

The upperclassman hums while he thinks. “I think all the tryouts are over, though.”

Junhyun shrugs at Felix. “Sorry dude.”

Felix makes a face. “Oh, it’s okay, never mind. Thank-”

“Oh, there’s always the _baseball team_.” The upperclassman smiles, but Felix doesn’t like his smile for some reason. “Their tryouts are practically year-round. Come to think of it, _you’ll_ probably fit _right_ in.”

“Really?” Felix had never paid attention to baseball before, so he hasn’t got any opinions on it.

“Go for it, dude.” Junhyun says.

“Yeah.” The upperclassman chuckles. “Go for it.”

“Okay.”

“I got in!”

Junhyun’s expression is kind of funny as he says, “Oh.”

“The baseball guys seem pretty nice.” Felix grins. “The captain’s a really great guy. He’s like Captain America – but not boring.”

“Oh.” Junhyun says, with that funny expression again.

“What are the guys in the basketball team like?” Felix asks as he closes his locker.

“They’re pretty intimidating. I’m trying to make a good impression on them.” Junhyun says, his mouth twisting anxiously.

“I’m sure they’ll like you.” Felix says. He sees something coming their way and pulls Junhyun to the side of the hallway.

“GO GO GO GO GO!” Some guy in a shopping cart is yelling, holding on for dear life.

The guy pushing the cart is laughing as he jumps up to ride on the back braces of the cart like a scooter. He waves at Felix as they zoom past. “Hey Lee Felix!”

Felix waves back weakly, realizing they were both upperclassmen from the baseball team.

“Guys! What the hell!” The captain of the baseball team comes skidding around the corner, hardly able to run from how hard he’s laughing. He notices Felix standing against the lockers. “Oh, hey!”

Junhyun frowns at Felix. “You know those _clowns_?”

“They’re from the baseball team.”

“No wonder.”

It’s Felix’s turn to frown at his friend. “No wonder _what_?”

“Nothing, I just heard some stuff about them from the other guys in the basketball team.”

Felix hears a loud crash from down the hallway. “Bad things?”

“No. Not really.” Junhyun gives Felix a smile that Felix knows is fake. “Don’t worry about it.”

“You have a _what_?”

“A Switch?” Felix stops as he’s just about to bite into his sandwich. “The Nintendo console?”

“Holy shit.” Junhyun runs a hand through his hair, messing up whatever shape he’d forced it into with too much clay. “Dude, you never told me you were _rich_!”

“I’m… not?”

“You have a Switch, your dad drives a Benz-”

“W- When did you see my dad?” Felix asks, breaking into a cold sweat.

“Oh, the others see him drop you off and stuff.” Junhyun laughs. “I always come in late and leave early, so whatever. You should’ve told me your dad drives a luxury car, I’ve always wanted to try riding in one.”

“It’s an old car. He bought it secondhand.”

“Then he needs even _more_ money to keep it running.” Junhyun whistles.

“My dad’s not… he’s a professor at the university… on the mountain.” Felix says, racking his brain for the name of the university. They’ve moved so many times that he doesn’t even know where his dad works anymore.

“What does your mom do?”

Felix chews on his lip. “Uh…”

“Oh, it’s okay, my mom doesn’t do anything, either.” Junhyun waves a hand off. “That’s fine.”

Felix doesn’t know what else to do, so he just nods.

“I don’t think gay people should get married, it’s not right.”

Felix feels his eyebrows shoot up all the way to his fucking hairline. _Wow. You could’ve stopped at ‘I don’t think.’_

“Really? Why not?” Their teacher asks, walking to the other side of the room to shake one of Felix’s classmates awake.

“They’re not… they can’t have kids, so what’s the point?”

“Not everyone who gets married has kids.” Junhyun mutters.

“Yes, Jang Junhyun?” The teacher whirls around and points at Junhyun.

“Well, uh, uh,” Junhyun scratches his head. “I mean, I don’t give a- I don’t care what other people do with their lives. They’re not marrying _me_, so whatever, they can do whatever they want. I don’t care.”

Some of the guys at the back of the classroom laugh.

Felix smiles.

“What about you, Lee Felix?” The teacher stops by Felix’s desk.

Felix looks up at him. _How much does he know? Do all the teachers have my file? Do all of them know?_

“I agree with what Junhyun said.” Felix says.

“Really?” The teacher arches an eyebrow. _Oh, he _definitely_ knows. _“That’s all?”

“Yeah.”

“_Really_?”

Felix is starting to sweat.

“Teach, I don’t see why we have to keep talking about this, it doesn’t bother us, so why waste time arguing about it?” Junhyun says, raising his hand lazily. “Can we just go out to lunch already?”

Felix sighs with relief when the teacher goes to chew him out. _Good old Junhyun._

Felix opens the car door. “Hey Dad, could we give my friend a lift home?”

Felix’s dad peers over at the guy standing on the sidewalk. “See? Told you you’d have no trouble making friends this time.”

“_Dad_. Please.”

“Yeah, yeah, you guys can both sit in the back.”

“Why? Are we picking Papa up?” Felix asks nervously, voice lowered beneath a whisper.

“No, I was suggesting you sit with your friend so you two can talk normally.” Felix’s dad laughs. Then he stops. “Oh wait, does he not know?”

“No, and I’m going to need you to pretend to be straight, I’m so sorry, Dad.” Felix claps his hands together to beg forgiveness.

“Don’t worry, I got you.” Felix’s dad says. “I had like 20 years of practice at pretending to be straight.”

“So, Junhyun, any cute girls in your class?”

Felix chokes on his spit. “_Dad_!”

“There’s one.” Junhyun says. “But she’s really bossy, so it’s a no go. Right, Felix?”

“Haha, yeah, sure!”

“I always thought you’d like a more take-charge sort of girl, Felix.” Felix’s dad says.

Felix wishes his dad would just shut up. “Don’t know what you’re talking about, Dad.”

“I couldn’t ever like a bossy girl.” Junhyun says. “She’d never listen to me and then we’d just fight all the time.”

Felix’s dad hums. “Even if she were really pretty? Like, Irene of Red Velvet pretty?”

Junhyun snorts. “Oh, I wouldn’t care if she acts like a _monster _as long as she looks like Irene.”

“I would.” Felix says indignantly. “I wouldn’t date someone who’s mean.”

“Of course you wouldn’t.” Junhyun scoffs. He turns to Felix’s dad. “Your son is the nicest guy on earth, Mr. Lee.”

“It’s Mr. Park,” Felix’s dad corrects him.

Junhyun frowns. “Oh.”

“But yeah, Felix is a nice kid. My h- We’re very proud of him.”

“Is he your stepdad? You look nothing alike.”

“He’s my…” Felix doesn’t know where he fits into his own lie anymore. He’s convinced Junhyun he has a mom, Felix knows that much. _But what else? _

“Or do you look like your mom?”

“I’m adopted.”

“Oh.” Junhyun shrugs. “That’s okay, I have an uncle who’s adopted, but you’d never know, because my grandma and grandpa just treat him the same as my mom and her other siblings.”

“That’s nice.” Felix smiles.

“So did you live in an orphanage or something? Or you don’t remember?”

“I lived in an orphanage till I was ten.”

“Oh.” Junhyun’s face takes on a weird color, like he’s embarrassed. “So your parents didn’t really raise you.”

Felix frowns at that. “But they did.”

“But you’re already pretty grown-up at ten. When I was that old my mom was already letting me walk to school on my own.”

“But my parents _did_\- I mean they _are _raising me, I’m only fourteen.” Felix doesn’t know why he’s so insistent on this.

“Fourteen’s basically an adult.” Junhyun shrugs. “Our classmates drink and have sex and stuff.”

Felix makes a face. “They _do_? We’re just kids-”

“You still are, maybe.” Junhyun shrugs again. “But the rest of us aren’t.”

Felix frowns. _Am I still a kid?_

“Dad, Papa,” Felix says slowly. “Could I have a friend over?”

“Is this the same friend that you made Jae pretend to be straight for?” Felix’s papa asks, fixing Felix with an accusatory stare as he scoops some mashed potato onto Felix’s plate.

Felix blanches. “Dad, why did you tell him?”

“I thought it was funny. I was mistaken, sorry.” Felix’s dad murmurs as he drinks water, looking clearly still amused.

“Well, is it that same friend?”

“Yes.” Felix sighs. “I know you think my generation’s a lot more open than yours, but maybe not the kids around here. They made fun of my friend for wearing _pink_.”

“Well that’s dumb.” Felix’s dad says.

“Jae.” Felix’s papa shoots him a stern look, but he only holds it for a second before grinning. “You remember when you dyed your hair hot pink?”

Felix’s dad rolls his eyes. “It was supposed to be red.”

“Suuuuuure.” Felix’s papa laughs.

“Anyway!” Felix claps his hands together to get his dads’ attention. “Can he come over? We’re just going to stay in my room and play video games.”

“Sure.” Felix’s papa says. “But no more playing straight from both of us.”

“But _Papa_!” Felix turns to his dad, who’s trying to innocently take a long gulp of water to stay out of this. “Dad, back me up!”

Felix’s dad shakes his head.

“I love your dad and I don’t want him to lie anymore.” Felix’s papa says sternly. “It might’ve been funny at first, but it’s really not.”

“It was funny because I sucked so bad at it.” Felix’s dad says quietly.

“Papa, Junhyun is my _only_ friend.”

“What about the guys in the baseball team?”

“I’m not sure they like me yet.” Felix says. “Besides, they’re all probably narrow-minded straight boys too, this city is just chock-full of them.”

Felix’s papa scowls, poking at the mashed potato on his plate.

Felix’s dad puts a hand on his husband’s arm. “Matthew, darling, love of my life-”

“Don’t even start.” Felix’s papa says. “No means no.”

Felix’s dad puts a hand next to his mouth to hide his mouthing to Felix, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll get him to come around.’

Felix smiles. _Dad’s the best._

Felix sticks his head into the apartment for some quick recon. _Okay, all the pictures are gone. Everything’s gone._

_Wow, the house looks dull as fuck when it’s straight._

As expected, Junhyun whistles when he walks through the door. “This place is _huge_!”

“…Thanks.”

“This couch is amazing.” Junhyun says, walking over to their couch, which is basically three La-Z-Boys merged into one. “I can’t believe your mom agreed to this, it’s such a _dad_ couch.”

“Oh. Heh.” Felix scratches his head. “Mom’s kind of… a bro.”

“I wish my mom were that cool.” Junhyun sighs. “My mom is so corny.”

Felix’s dad gives Felix two thumbs up from just out of Junhyun’s line of sight.

Felix gives him a discreet OK symbol with one hand. They’d sent his papa out looking for a book Felix’s dad wanted, but it’s been out of print for _50_ _years_.

_Knowing Papa, though, he’s not going to quit until he’s shaken down every last publishing house in the entire nation._

“Dude, I’m dying over here.” Felix whines, giving up on finesse and mashing the buttons on his controller.

Junhyun doesn’t reply.

“Fucking fuck fuckety fucksticks-” Felix grumbles.

“Who’s this?”

Felix only looks away for a split second. Junhyun’s holding up a small black-and-white photo.

“Oh, that’s my other dad. You haven’t met him yet.” Felix says, wincing as his character gets pummeled by the enemies Junhyun should be helping him with. “Dude, help me out!”

“Your _what_?”

“My other d-” Felix drops the controller in surprise, and his character promptly dies.

_GAME OVER. _

“How many dads do you _have_?” Junhyun’s frown looks like it’s going to be permanently stuck to his face.

Felix finds himself in a dilemma that’s part moral, part emotional, and 100% dumb as fuck. “Uh…”

Junhyun frowns at another photo stuck to the side of Felix’s bookshelf.

_FUCK! I FORGOT ABOUT THOSE! _Felix slaps his face with his palm. He keeps photos of his family on the bookshelf next to his bed, though he’s not sure why. _DUMBASS! DUMB DUMB STUPID FELIX!_

Junhyun pries one of the photos off and frowns deeply at it.

Felix doesn’t need to look to know which one it is. It’s from one of those cheap photo booths in a mall, and they’d taken it just a week after his dads had adopted him. Felix is in the middle of the photo flashing two peace signs and a smile that takes up half his face, and his dads are towering above him, which wouldn’t have been _that_ hard to explain away, if his Papa hadn’t gone and kissed his Dad on the cheek.

“Where’s your…mom?”

Felix sighs. _Papa’s right, as usual. There’s no use in lying. _

Felix takes a deep breath. In the four years he’s lived with his dads, he’s transferred school around six times. Each time he’d lost every friend he’d made one way or another, and he’s not about to blame his parents because he loves them, but their relationship _does_ have a way of speeding things up.

_Here we go again._

“I don’t have one.” Felix says. “Those are my dads. They’re married. To each other.”

“Where are your real parents?”

“I…” Felix finds himself frowning just as hard as Junhyun. He can’t believe his ears at first. “They _are_ my real parents.”

“No, I mean your _real _parents. The ones who _made_ you?”

“Don’t know. I never met them.”

“Why did the orphanage let _them_ adopt you?”

Felix stands up. “What the hell do you mean?”

“They’re not… Orphanages don’t let people like them just walk away with their kids.”

“That’s not what adoption is like, it’s not just picking up kids and walking away with them.” Felix says indignantly. “And besides, my dads are great-”

“So why did you tell me you had a mom?”

“B- Because-” Felix takes a deep, angry breath. “Because I knew you would be like this if you really knew about my real parents!”

“They’re not your real parents.”

“Okay, maybe they’re not what you call “real” parents, but you’re a _real_ jerk.” Felix crosses his arms. “I think you should leave.”

Junhyun looks suddenly relieved when he says, “Yeah, I think so, too.”

“He didn’t suspect a thing.” Felix’s dad says once he gets back from dropping Junhyun off at his house. “We _Ocean’s Eleven-_ed this one hard, didn’t we, Felix?”

“Yeah.”

“Come and help me put the photos and shit back before your papa gets home.”

“Okay.”

Felix’s dad lugs a giant box of stuff out from the storage room. He notices Felix’s expression. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Just tired.”

“Entertaining people is tiring.” Felix’s dad says. “Which is why I never throw parties.”

“I thought that was just because you hate cooking.” Felix grins.

“That too.”

Felix is glad at first that Junhyun never confronts him about it, or even speaks to him again.

He thinks it must be because of his age – high school kids _must_ be more mature than middle school kids to some extent, especially when it comes to sensitive stuff like this. So he’s a little hurt that his friend walks past and looks past him like he isn’t there, but it’s _fine_.

Until he walks into the classroom one morning to hear the noisy guys from the back of the classroom snickering, as they always do.

“Just ask him!”

“I can’t just _ask _him!”

“How would you even ask that?”

“Hey, Felix,” One of them mimes, not realizing Felix is already in the doorway. “Do you really have _gays_ for parents?”

Felix slams the door behind him, getting their attention. He doesn’t admit to it then, or ever, actually, but it only takes a week for the entire freshman class to know that Lee Felix is a motherless freak who lives with two gay men claiming to be his parents. _Their_ words, not his, obviously.

_Present_

Felix is sitting in the waiting area outside the x-ray room when a woman stomps in. He doesn’t really mind her at first, but he can’t help but overhear her arguing with the nurse.

“What’s your child’s name?” The nurse asks a third time.

The woman stutters for a moment. “Jang… Ju…Was it Juhyun? No, that’s his sister.”

Felix turns to the woman. He’s not seen her before and she’s not even vaguely familiar to him, but he can put two and two together.

“Excuse me,” Felix stands up slowly. “Are you Jang Junhyun’s mom?”

The woman snaps. “Ah! Junhyun! Of course!”

Felix frowns.

“He’s my sixth,” The woman explains to the nurse and, by extension, Felix.

“LEEEEEEE FELIIIIX!” A voice echoes down the hallway.

Felix closes his eyes out of embarrassment. The nurse and Junhyun’s mom jump in surprise as two grown men come skidding into the waiting room like toddlers in a playground. Felix shades his face with one hand, but there’s nobody else in the waiting room that his parents could possibly be looking for.

Felix’s dad puts an arm around Felix. “What happened?”

“Are you okay?” His papa asks. “Are you hurt anywhere?”

“The school called and I thought I was going to have a fucking heart attack-”

“I very nearly passed out-”

“Excuse us, sorry.” Felix says, steering them away from the confused nurse and Junhyun’s mom. His dads pick up one of each of his arms to inspect them. Felix frowns and wiggles his arms free. “Dad. Pops. Please. I’m fine. I just came here with my classmate.”

“What happened to him?”

Felix opens his mouth to reply, but he doesn’t know what to say. “Changbin…”

“Seo Changbin?”

“Oh no, is he okay?”

“Well… Physically, yes.” Felix sighs. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Junhyun’s mom and the nurse walk off down a hallway. “But he punched Junhyun and it looks like-”

“What? Jang Junhyun?”

“Why are your friends fighting?”

“Why would Changbin-”

“Dad. Pops.” Felix takes a deep breath. “Can we not talk about it? I want to go back to school.”

“No. Fuck school.”

“Dad, you’re a professor-”

“Which is why I know you won’t _die_ if you miss one day of school. Come on.”

Felix’s papa opens his arms.

Felix’s lower lip trembles. _No. I’m not going to-_ Then he caves and leans into his Papa’s arms, tucking his face into his huge cable-knit sweater.

“It’s okay, Felix,” His papa says gently, while his dad brushes Felix’s hair with one hand. “Let’s go have barbecue or something.”

“Don’t you both have work?” Felix mumbles into his papa’s sweater.

“We do, but we can always get other jobs.” Felix’s papa says. “But we can never get another Felix.”

Felix smiles and hugs his papa tightly.

“Well, technically, we _can_ adopt another kid and name him Felix, too…”

“Shut up, Jae.” Felix’s papa says tenderly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a flashback chapter? in THIS economy? 
> 
> this is the sweater matt's wearing in the last scene, if anyone was wondering:  

> 
> anyway Stream ON and MOTS7, bts are kings, etc. etc. ✌


	27. EMERGENCY – DAY6 (song recommendation by Seungmin)

Jinyoung doesn’t eavesdrop – no, that’s the biggest lie ever. His ears are _wide_ open when the teacher in the seat next to his gasps, “Oh my god, Changbin.”

“What’s up, Hyejin?” Jinyoung asks innocently, swiveling over.

Hyejin puts her phone down. “He’s at the vice principal’s office. His parents were called to come to the school immediately, but they’re out of town-”

“What happened to Changbin?”

“I don’t know.” Hyejin frowns. “I hope it’s not- Jinyoung? Where are you going?”

Jinyoung already buttoning up his cardigan. “You said the _vice_ principal’s office, right?”

“Y- Yes.”

“I’ll let you know what happened when I find out.”

“O- Oh. Thanks, Jinyoung. But what are you going to-”

Jinyoung’s already halfway out of the faculty room.

“But _Suji_,” Jinyoung begs, turning his charm up a thousand percent. “Changbin’s _my kid_.”

The charm seems to hit a brick wall.

“Don’t you _Suji_ me.” The vice principal snaps. “And we’ve already called Changbin’s _actual _parents-”

“They’re out of town!”

“Who said so?” The vice principal narrows her eyes.

“Hyejin.”

“How does she know?”

Jinyoung frowns. _How _does_ she know that? _“I don’t know.”

The vice principal sighs. “No wonder they weren’t picking up.”

“Let me talk to Changbin, I know him really well, I’m sure whatever it is it’s just some misunderst-”

“Honestly, Jinyoung.” Vice Principal Bae groans. “You’ve got another “kid” in the hospital, why aren’t you worried about _him_?”

Jinyoung stares. “What?”

“Bang Chan’s in the hospital.” The vice principal heaves a deep sigh. Jinyoung knows how much she likes Chan, but he can’t even think about that right now. “Changbin’s the one who put him there.”

Jinyoung suddenly can’t breathe. “_Seo_ Changbin? Hit _Bang Chan_?”

“And one other boy, who I’m hearing had to be carried out on a stretcher.”

“Holy-” Jinyoung covers his mouth with his hands. “Wait, _Seo Changbin?_ Are you sure?”

“Yes, of course I’m sure, Jinyoung, the boy’s sitting in my office right now.” The vice principal huffs.

“Please let me talk to him. Changbin’s not like that, I’m sure of it. Just let me get his side of the story.” Jinyoung begs. He’s completely out of charm. At this point he’s just hoping he sounds pitiful enough to tug at the vice principal’s heartstrings. “_Please_.”

“I don’t know how to be less direct about this, but: No. Absolutely not.” Vice Principal Bae says. “This school follows protocols for things like this. We won’t allow students to endanger others-”

“Changbin would never-”

“I’m sorry Jinyoung, but he already _has_.” The vice principal’s expression softens just a fraction as she reaches out to rest a hand on Jinyoung’s arm. “If you want to make yourself useful, could you please see how Bang Chan and the other boy are doing. They’re in the university hospital.”

Jinyoung parks illegally and just prays his car doesn’t get towed as he runs towards the hospital’s emergency room.

“Yes, hello, I’m Park Jinyoung, I’m a teacher at W----- High,” Jinyoung flashes his ID. “Two of our students were rushed here earlier this morning and the vice principal sent me to ask-”

“Coach Park!”

Jinyoung turns around. He knows that voice.

“Sir.” The nurse calls his attention sternly. “I asked you, what are the students’ names?”

“Uh, Seo Chang- I mean, Bang Chan and… I don’t know the other student’s name.”

“Can I see your ID again?” The nurse asks, scrunching up her nose.

“Coach Park!” A good-looking young man comes jogging across the lobby.

Jinyoung blinks. “Younghoon! What are you-”

“I heard Chan was brought to the hospital.” Younghoon scuffs a sneaker bashfully against the tiled floor. The edges of his soles are caked in dirt and bits of leaves. “So I kinda… ran.”

_Figures._

“How is he?”

“He’s fine. Well, kinda.” Younghoon’s face screws up a little. “His shoulder’s sprained.”

_Crap, _Jinyoung thinks as a coach.

_That’s fucking awful, _Jinyoung thinks as a fellow human being and shoulder owner.

“Lee Felix is here too.”

That makes Jinyoung gape at the college student. Jinyoung had thought nothing could surprise him, but this day just seems to constantly outdo itself in the worst way possible. “_Lee Felix_? Are you _sure_?”

“Yeah, I just saw-”

“You mean to tell me that Seo Changbin hit _Lee Felix_ too?” Jinyoung gasps. The idea that Lee Felix is lying somewhere unable to stand is bad enough, but just the thought that _Changbin_ of all people did that to him? “There’s no way. There’s got to be a mistake.”

Younghoon blinks at Jinyoung a few times before asking in a low voice, “_Changbin’s_ the one who did it? He hurt Chan?”

The boy’s tone is so cold that it scares Jinyoung more than a little bit. Jinyoung can only nod his head gently.

“I’m going to kill him.” Younghoon says as calmly as if he were talking about picking up groceries on the way home.

Jinyoung has never been more legitimately afraid for another person’s life over his own.

Chan doesn’t like being forced to lie down, because it makes his injury feel _real, _but his shoulder just feels so wrong. The doctor had offered painkillers for it, but Chan had turned them down. _Like an idiot. _Chan tries to roll over, but it feels worse, so he goes back to laying flat and staring up at the emergency room’s ceiling. He’s so bored by the dull pain that he practically leaps out of bed when someone draws the curtain aside. “Younghoon! I mean- Hello, Coach Park.”

Younghoon laughs as he holds the curtain aside for the coach. “Why’s your face like that?”

“What?” Chan lifts his eyebrows innocently. “Nothing! I just wasn’t expecting-”

“Don’t worry, I’ll leave you guys alone in a minute. I just wanted to check in on you.” Coach Park says, perching at the foot of Chan’s bed. “How are you doing?”

“Okay…ish.” Chan shrugs, but even just that hurts for some reason. He makes a face. _I’m never going to get used to this._

“Are your parents coming to pick you up?”

“No, I told them I’d just go home on my own once the doctor lets me go.” Chan waves a hand dismissively, wincing as he does. He hadn’t realized his hand was connected to his arm, which was connected to his goddamned shoulder. “Ow.”

“The doctor said not to move it yet.” Younghoon frowns at him.

“I know, but it’s just hard not to.” Chan whines.

Younghoon rolls his eyes, but he adjusts the pillow under Chan’s head before turning to Coach Park. “I’ll bring him home, Coach Park. I’m sure you have work to get back to.”

“Don’t you have class to get back to?” Coach Park frowns. “Besides, I have a car, so I can-”

“How’s the other guy doing?” Chan asks.

“Felix?” Coach Park asks.

“No, the other guy, Felix’s classmate, I think.” Chan’s nose scrunches up as he tries to remember. Felix had been talking to the guy as they were lifting him into the ambulance – he’d probably said the guy’s name a hundred times but for some reason, Chan can’t remember what it was even just once. _Did I hit my head, too?_

“Felix’s _classmate_?” Coach Park looks weirdly relieved.

“J…” Chan closes his eyes, trying to recall the guy’s name. _It was definitely a J._

“Chan?” Younghoon sounds concerned. “Are you okay?”

“Jang Junhyun!” Chan nearly jumps out of the bed with excitement. Then his shoulder reminds him it’s messed up, and he lays back down with a pained pout. Chan opens his eyes again to find Younghoon looking down at him with all the airs of an exasperated nurse, and Coach Park’s frown deeper than ever. “What’s wrong, Coach?”

“Jang Junhyun. Isn’t that the kid Changbin had gotten into a fight with at tryouts?” Coach Park’s voice seems to get softer and softer.

“So Changbin’s done this _before_?” Younghoon asks, and Chan doesn’t like his tone.

“No, this doesn’t make any sense.” Coach Park shakes his head.

“You should check on the other guy, Coach.” Chan says. “I’m fine, really.”

“I should… Yeah. Yes, I should check on the other guy.” Coach Park says, but he still looks dazed. “Wait for me in the lobby when the doctor clears you to go home. I’ll drive you.”

“Okay, Coach.” Chan nods. That, at least, doesn’t make his stupid shoulder hurt. “Thanks.”

“H… Hang in there.” Coach Park pats Chan’s foot through the blanket before stepping out between the curtains around Chan’s bed.

Chan looks up at Younghoon.

Younghoon has that dark, deeply angry expression he has when he’s about to fight someone. That someone used to be Chan, so Chan had been used to seeing Younghoon like this at some point. _But not anymore. _

“It’s not Changbin’s fault.” Chan tries saying, his voice as gentle and soft as he can go.

“Stop defending him.”

“Changbin’s not like that.” Chan insists.

Younghoon sits on the edge of the bed, staring at the drab green curtain. “Don’t you think Changbin’s changed?”

Chan frowns at the side of Younghoon’s face. He opens his mouth to defend Changbin, like he always has, but something stops the words from coming out.

“I’m not trying to make sides,” Younghoon reaches out and takes Chan’s hand. “But I’m always going to take your side over anyone else’s. You know that, right?”

“Yeah.”

“You can’t keep standing up for someone who doesn’t deserve it, Chan.”

Chan grips Younghoon’s hand. “But he’s my friend.”

“Is he really?”

“Vice Principal, please,” Hyejin claps her hands together as if in prayer. “Changbin’s dad sent a text-”

“I’m not even going to ask why you and Changbin’s father are _texting_ each other,” The vice principal says, narrowing her eyes at Hyejin. “The answer is still no.”

“His parents won’t be able to get back here until tonight, ma’am,” Hyejin says. “And we can’t leave him in there all day. What’s he going to do for lunch-”

“Hyejin.” The vice principal snaps, taking a step back from Hyejin as if the latter smells strongly of fish sauce. “You know how the procedure is for cases like this. We send the child immediately home with their parents _or_ their legal guardian, on the off chance that the child’s parents are unavailable.”

Hyejin wets her lips. She hadn’t even noticed they’d gone dry, but Vice Principal Bae has that effect on people.

“Are you Changbin’s legal guardian?” The vice principal asks dryly.

Hyejin lowers her head. “No.”

“Then I’m afraid there’s nothing you can do, Hyejin, I’m sorry.” The vice principal says. “Please return to your class.”

“I don’t have any more today, ma’am.” Hyejin takes a breath. “Maybe I could bring him home, his apartment’s right above mine and-”

“Ahn Hyejin.” Vice Principal Bae cuts in, giving Hyejin a colder look than ever. “Do you realize why I cannot let you take over for Changbin’s parents? Do you know what people are saying about you and Mr. Seo?”

Hyejin’s entire face burns up. “None of it is true, Vice Principal.”

“Of course not, I know you wouldn’t do that sort of thing.” The vice principal says. “But I’d rather not fan the flame. You understand?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Hyejin blinks hard, watching the image of her gray shoes get blurrier and blurrier. A white square enters her field of vision. There’s a large blue monogram in the corner with the vice principal’s initials in cursive.

“There’s not much to do in this town,” The vice principal says, taking Hyejin’s hands into her own to give her the handkerchief. “So the old people are always inventing all sorts of idiotic rumors to spice things up. Don’t let them get to you.”

Hyejin nods, drying her eyes on the handkerchief. “I just hope Changbin didn’t hear about it.”

The vice principal sighs. “If he has, it hasn’t changed anything. He was asking me to call you instead of his parents earlier.”

Hyejin blinks at the vice principal blankly. “What, really?”

“Yes, really.” Vice Principal glances back through the frosted glass window into her office. “If Changbin’s parents don’t arrive by lunchtime-”

“They won’t-”

“-We’ll have no choice but to let him go home with you.”

Hyejin feels a goofy smile come on. “Really?”

“You sure you’re not sleeping with his father?”

Hyejin gags. “Ugh, no, absolutely not, Jesus, _no_-”

“I’m just messing with you.” The vice principal grins, patting Hyejin on the arm. “Go wash your face before your next class.”

“I will, ma’am.” Hyejin nods. “Also, it’s not funny, I’m really _not_-”

“I know.” The vice principal laughs. “Go, you only have five minutes before the kids start flooding the hallways.”

“Thank you, Vice Principal Bae.” Hyejin gives the vice principal a deep bow, before running off down the hallway. She waves the handkerchief. “I’ll give this back when I wash it!”

Chan’s forgotten how to deal with Younghoon when he’s _this_ angry. So, he sits in the hospital lobby with his hands folded in his lap, watching his boyfriend pace back and forth around him like he’s trying to dig a moat in the tiles.

“Younghoon.”

“I _told_ you something was up with him, I told you _months_ ago-”

“Younghoon, I’m fine.” Chan gives his shoulders an experimental roll just to prove it, but his shoulder seizes up with pain. He tries not to flinch, he really does. “Ow.”

Younghoon drops into the seat next to him, eyes wide with worry. “Are you okay?”

_Oh. That worked. _Chan gives himself a mental pat on the back. “Yeah.”

Younghoon huffs, crossing his arms. “I’m really going to kill him.”

“Younghoon, please, don’t.” Chan says, realizing how _loser_-ish he sounds. He notices a troubled figure stomping over in a too-tight button down. “Coach Park!”

“How’s the other guy?” Younghoon asks, helping Chan to his feet.

Chan doesn’t need the help, really, but he likes Younghoon’s arms around him. _Sue me._

“He’s got a fractured rib.” Coach Park says.

Younghoon doesn’t say anything. He just frowns pointedly in Chan’s direction as if to say, _I told you so._

“But Changbin only hit him once,” Chan’s face scrunches up in confusion. “There’s no way-”

“I thought so, too, but the doctor showed me and Junhyun’s mom the x-ray.” Coach Park’s mouth pulls into a line. “Maybe Changbin’s stronger than we give him credit for.”

“He _did_ sprain Chan’s shoulder with one push.” Younghoon mutters.

“It’s not his fault I hit the lockers at a weird angle-”

“Stop trying to defend him, you already got hurt-”

“But he didn’t mean to-”

“How do you know that-”

“Boys!” Coach Park shouts, drawing the attention of the three old ladies who’d been sitting in the lobby, scrolling peacefully on their phones. “Can we just go now?”

“N- Now?”

“Yes, now.” The vice principal frowns down at what Changbin’s been writing, but Changbin crumples it up before she can read it. “Unless you’d like to stay here longer?”

“No, thank you.” Changbin stuffs the crumpled-up paper in his pocket. “So, uh, how d- does this go?”

“Pardon?”

“D- Do I go back to m- my classroom for my s- stuff or…?”

“I had your class president bring them here.” The vice principal uses one bright red heel to nudge a bench with all of Changbin’s things. He hadn’t noticed Chanhee bring them in, which scares him. He can hardly recall what’d happened that morning, as if he’d gone under a red haze for some time and had only come up when he was being dragged into the vice principal’s office. _What else did I do that I didn’t know about? What’s wrong with me?_

“Teacher Ahn will be bringing you home.”

Changbin’s eyebrows lift. “Teacher Ahn?”

“Yes. You were asking for her earlier?”

“O- Oh. Yeah. I- I mean, yes. Yes, ma’am.” Changbin nods awkwardly. He lowers his head as he steps around her to collect his things. He only looks up with a frown when he’s got his backpack slung over one shoulder. “Uh, V- Vice Principal Bae?”

“Yes?” The vice principal looks irritated, understandably so. _She can’t wait to get rid of me, obviously._

“W- When do I come back to school?”

“Pardon?”

“S- Sorry.” Changbin fiddles with the handle of his backpack’s zipper.

“I’m not the one you need to apologize to.” Vice Principal Bae says, pushing the door open. The hallway outside is thankfully empty, except for Teacher Ahn.

Changbin can hardly look at her. _She must think I’m some kind of meathead now. _He keeps his eyes trained on his sneakers as he trudges across the hallway towards her. “Hello Teacher Ahn,” He mumbles.

“Hi Changbin.” The history teacher extends a hand, maybe to pat Changbin on the shoulder, but she draws it back self-consciously before she does anything.

“Changbin, please let your parents know that I would like to speak to them as soon as they return.” Vice Principal Bae says. “And please let them know that we will be strict about not letting you anywhere near the campus until your two-week suspension is lifted.”

_Two weeks. _Changbin can’t even think of enough things to do to fill up one week, let alone two. He’s starting to imagine what it’ll be like when his parents get back, and he has to spend those two weeks trapped with them…

“Changbin? Please reply when you’re spoken to.”

Changbin blinks. “O- Oh, yes, Vice Principal Bae. Sorry.”

The vice principal nods curtly before returning to her office and shutting the door not with a slam, but not gently, either.

“Let’s go?” Teacher Ahn asks gently.

Changbin turns to Teacher Ahn, though he’s still looking down at the floor. “U- Uh, Miss Ahn, could we pass by my locker first?”

“Did you leave something there?”

Changbin puts his hand in his pocket, feeling the crumpled piece of paper there. “I need to look for something.”

“He’s asleep.”

Jinyoung looks in the rearview mirror. Sure enough, Chan’s slumped against the window with his hair falling into his face. “He probably needs it.”

Younghoon turns to his window. “Part of that might’ve been my fault.”

“No, he knows you’re just worried about him.” Jinyoung actually tries slowing down for a hump. The car still bounces over it, but with more grace than usual. “And you’re not _actually_ going to kill Changbin. Right?”

Younghoon snickers. “Why do you sound so unsure?”

“I don’t know!” Jinyoung squeaks out, before lowering his voice to let Chan sleep peacefully. “You can be pretty scary. For a kid. I mean, you’re not a kid, but-”

“Yeah, I get you.” Younghoon sighs. “Even some of the seniors in the team are afraid of me.”

“Coach Yoon must get a kick out of that.” Jinyoung tries slowing down for another hump. This time he overdoes it and brings the car to a complete stop. _Dammit. _

“I actually invited Coach Yoon to the game next Sunday.” Younghoon says. “For Chan and… _Changbin._”

“Really?”

“Chan insisted. Not on inviting Coach Yoon, just including Changbin.” Younghoon looks back to see if Chan’s still asleep. From the way he flops around as the car turns a corner, it seems so. “He wants to bring Changbin with him all the way to university. God knows why.”

“They’re good friends.” Jinyoung says.

“You too?” Younghoon scoffs. “Good friends don’t do what Changbin did.”

“It must’ve been an accident, Young-”

“So what if it was? I would never hurt my friends, accidentally or not.”

“I hate to be the person who brings it up, but you _did_ punch Chan in the face a couple times last year.”

Younghoon folds his arms in silence.

Jinyoung drives on in worried silence.

_BLEEP! _Jinyoung’s phone rings at an embarrassingly high volume.

“I, uh, sorry,” Jinyoung says, trying to take a peek while they’re at a red light, but it immediately turns green as soon as they stop. He only manages to unlock the phone before he has to get the car going again. “Sorry, Younghoon, could you check that for me?”

Younghoon grumbles but he plucks the phone from the cupholder anyway. “You’ve got a text from… _Coach Jerkoff Wang_?”

“Jackson! His name’s Jackson, that’s a typo!” Jinyoung reaches across the console to try to grab his phone back, but he’s contending with probably the best university baseball player in the country.

Younghoon holds the phone just out of Jinyoung’s reach. “Real professional, Coach Park. Real mature.”

“He’s probably got my name saved with expletives, too, come on.” Jinyoung groans. “What did he say?”

Younghoon opens the message. He cocks his head to one side, a frown growing on his face.

“What is it?” Jinyoung asks.

“He’s suspending Changbin from captaincy.”

“Okay, fair enough.” Jinyoung sighs.

“_Indefinitely_.” Younghoon adds.

Jinyoung nearly forgets to stop at a stop sign. “What?”

“And he’s replacing him with Chan.”

“_What_?”

Younghoon looks helplessly at Jinyoung, then back at his boyfriend slumped against the door like a sack of flour. “Chan’s the captain. Again.”


	28. “I would’ve broken one of his ribs too if I were there.” – Chanhee

“Felix, we’ll have a late dinner tonight, okay?”

“Okay!” Felix closes the door to his bedroom behind him. He dumps his backpack on the ground then reaches into his jacket’s inside pocket.

He pulls out a lemon-yellow envelope with half a footprint across it.

Felix pinches it between his fingers.

Then tears it cleanly down the middle.

He takes each side and tears them too, and keeps tearing the little pieces until he’s left with little more than yellowish confetti.

He looks down at the pile for some time, and is pleasantly surprised to find that he doesn’t cry. _Maybe I didn’t like him that much after all._

He scoops the pieces of paper into one hand then tosses it all into the trash bin.

_The next morning_

People skirt around Felix in the hallways. They don’t say anything to him, but they seem surprised to see him, then they step around him, which says everything. Felix doesn’t mind it. At least he doesn’t have to keep saying “Excuse me” and “Sorry” just to get around.

Felix squats by his locker. There’s nothing to show what’d happened there the morning before – _You’re being overdramatic, Felix, of course there isn’t. Changbin didn’t even draw blood. _

Felix looks up at Changbin’s locker. He’s not expecting him to be in school today.

“Lee Felix?”

Felix looks up to find one of Changbin’s friends standing by the lockers. _Mina? Is that her name? I think it’s Mina._ “Changbin’s not here. He’s probably been suspended.”

“I know.” Mina chews on her lip. “I just wanted to say that I, um, this is going to sound weird but I hope you’re okay.”

Felix frowns. “Thank you?”

“God, I must sound so weird.” Mina buries her face in her palms. “You don’t even know me.”

“That’s okay,” Felix says. “It’s kind of you to think about me anyway.”

“I watch your livestream.” Mina grimaces. “And I don’t know if you see my comments, but I comment a lot.”

“Oh…?”

“I’m Love Bomb.”

“Uh, what?”

“Oh, it’s, it’s got numbers instead of…” Mina laughs. “It’s spelled _10-V-3-bomb._”

“_Oh_.” Felix nods. “I remember you! You’re really helpful.”

Mina grins. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Minaminaminaminaminaminamina!” Their other friend, the tall guy, comes running down the hallway. He notices Felix there and takes a respectful step back. “Oh, hello, Lee Felix, I’m sorry to hear that Jang Juhyun’s little brother was bullying you. I would’ve broken one of his ribs too if I were there.”

“Chanhee, what the hell.” Mina hisses, slapping him on the arm.

“Thanks.” Felix says anyway.

Chanhee salutes Felix. Mina rolls her eyes and grabs one of his arms to start dragging him down the hallway.

Felix opens his locker to dump his lunchbox and gym bag in, but a piece of paper tumbles out. _God, my locker’s such a mess, _he groans internally, shoving the paper back in with his stuff.

“Felix!”

Felix brushes his knees off as he gets up. Hyunjin’s coming down the hallway with one of his popular friends in tow.

“We heard about yesterday,” Hyunjin starts, his face slumping into a frown.

_You too? From _whom_?_ Felix frowns, but he doesn’t ask that out loud, obviously. “Oh.” Is all he says.

“Are you okay?” Hyunjin asks.

_That’s a good question, _Felix thinks. But out loud he says, “Yeah, thanks.”

“I’m not saying that other guy deserved it,” Hyunjin’s friend says, dangling lazily off one of Hyunjin’s arms. “But God works in mysterious ways.”

“Chaeyoung, please.” Hyunjin giggles, then he notices the expression on Felix’s face and bites down on his smile. “Anyway, if anyone else gives you a hard time, you gotta tell us, Felix.”

Felix doesn’t know what his face looks like right now, but it seems to be getting Chaeyoung down, too. “Thanks, I will.”

Felix barely makes it two steps away from his locker when Hyunjoon and Sunwoo stop him to give him two very long, silent hugs.

“Uh, thanks?” Felix pats Sunwoo on the back. Sunwoo just nods solemnly and lays his head on Felix’s shoulder.

By the fifth random hug, Felix is starting to think that the story that reached everyone else is more fiction than anything else.

Even Dongpyo stops on his way to his class to give Felix a deep bow and salute. “I heard about what happened yesterday, Mr. Felix sir-”

“From _whom_?” Felix asks. He can’t remember anyone else who’d been in the hallway at that time, so he can’t even_ think_ of who might’ve-

“Han Jisung.” Dongpyo salutes Felix again.

“Ah.” Felix says. _Han Jisung. _“Thanks, Dongpyo.”

“Anytime, Mr. Felix sir!”

Felix finds Jisung blocking the way to one of the classrooms (probably not his) trying to hard-sell some flyers to a group of bored-looking girls.

“The animals aren’t going to save their own damn selves!” Jisung insists. “They’re _animals_!”

Felix stands by, leaning on a nearby wall until the girls have given in and taken a few flyers.

“We have a big protest this Friday! We’re storming the mayor’s office-”

“Han Jisung.” Felix says quietly.

Jisung whirls around and gasps at Felix. Then he practically jumps onto Felix, wrapping both arms and a leg around him.

Felix tries to wriggle free, but Jisung’s arms are wrapped so tightly around Felix that he imagines this is what corsets are like. _Or Spanx._

“Jisung, dude-”

“I heard some prick was being homophobic to you and Cap fucking _body slammed_ him into the next century, are you okay?”

Felix frowns at Jisung. “Is that what you’ve been telling everyone?”

Jisung’s eyes pop open into two innocent circles. “What? I just told the guys-”

“No one was being _homophobic_ to me!” Felix says tensely. “And Cap didn’t _body slam_ anyone. Stop making shit up if you weren’t even fucking there.”

Jisung slowly peels away from Felix. “S- Sorry.”

“I’m sorry.” Felix shakes his head. _What’s gotten into you?_ “I didn’t mean- I just don’t want-”

“No, no, it’s on me, dude. I’m not gonna say anything else. I’m sorry.” Jisung dips into a deep, apologetic bow. When he looks up again, he looks terrified. Felix feels like he’s either (a) somehow sidestepped into an alternate reality, or (b) completely fucking lost his marbles.

The first bell rings.

“I’ll see you at training?” Felix asks, hoping he sounds kind, because Jisung’s cowering an entire meter away.

“Yeah, see you.” Jisung mumbles before skittering off.

Felix feels sick.

He walks into his classroom, which falls silent as soon as he steps in.

He sees the empty chair where Junhyun usually sits.

His classmates all give him sympathetic looks and ask if he’s okay.

He says he’s okay.

His homeroom teacher says to the entire class, “If you see anyone being bullied, report it immediately. It’s for everyone’s good.”

The teacher looks at Felix then. “I know you’re Jang Junhyun’s friend. How is he doing?”

Felix frowns. “One of his ribs is fractured. He’s resting at home.”

“We could’ve stopped this from happening.” The teacher says.

Felix is confused.

By the time lunch rolls around, Felix has no idea what’s going on anymore.

“…heard he made sure Junhyun didn’t make it into the team.” Felix overhears the girl in the table behind him say.

“Seriously? What a dick.” Her friend huffs.

“Who the fuck does he think he is?” Another of their friends says.

“Everyone knows he’s just trying to compensate because everyone likes Bang Chan better.” Someone else says.

“My cousin said Bang Chan actually won the election in the team, but he gave it up so he could focus on school.” Yet another person says.

“So people actually voted for Seo Changbin?”

“No I think Bang Chan just gave him the captaincy because they’re friends.”

“They’re _friends_? Then why’d he beat the shit out of Bang Chan, too?”

“Some kind of friend he is.”

“Let him be, he’s got like, real problems, dude. My mom works with his mom and she said his parents are, like, headed for a divorce or something.”

“My grandma lives in the same apartment building and she says she sees his dad with another woman all the time.”

“Ew, really?”

“Yeah, my grandma said the other woman’s a teacher here, but I don’t think she’s right. Imagine leaving your wife for one of the _teachers_ here.”

“You’re so mean, they’re not _all_ bad.”

“I’d totally leave my husband for Teacher Park.”

“Oh my god!”

“You _hoe_!”

The girls only stop laughing when Felix hears a thermos drop to the floor. It’s with detached interest that he realizes it’s his own.

One of the girls who’d been talking picks it up and hands it to him. “Here, you dropped this,” She says, giving him a kind smile.

Felix looks up at her blankly. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

Felix wraps up what’s left of his sandwich and stuffs it back into the bag. He’s lost his appetite.

Felix’s teachers all bring up the bullying thing – perhaps they’d gotten some kind of orders from higher up. Felix braces himself for another round when History comes around, though he figures it can’t be that bad coming from Teacher Ahn.

The door swings open.

The class lets out a collective groan as their Biology teacher walks in.

“Sorry, everyone, Teacher Ahn isn’t here today.” The Biology teacher shrugs. “You’re supposed to read Chapters 34 to 35 of your History books, so go on, do that.”

Felix doesn’t budge while his classmates lug out their books and start flipping through them, whining all the while.

“Felix,” The Biology teacher asks, standing next to Felix’s desk. He hadn’t even noticed her. “Do you not have your book with you?”

“I do.” Felix nods, reaching under his desk. Then he looks up at the teacher. “What happened to Teacher Ahn?”

“Oh, I don’t know. She only said ‘personal matters’.”

“Oh.”

“I wouldn’t be too worried about her, Felix, she’d let us know if it were something really serious.” The Biology teacher says. “You’d better get started on those chapters, they look pretty long.”

“I will.” Felix flips to the first page of Chapter 34.

_1945 – The United Nations was established following the events of the second World War. It aimed to maintain international peace and security, develop friendly relations among nations…_

Felix frowns. He knows all this already, because his parents love history almost as much as they love each other, so his mind starts to wander.

_It was her, wasn’t it? The woman who had been with Changbin’s dad. The day he was supposed to pick Changbin up from the game. _

Felix is starting to feel seriously sick.

_And why would she ask me if I know whom Changbin’s dating? Why would she care about Changbin specifically… unless…_

Felix leans back in his seat.

_Does Changbin know? What if he does?_

Felix’s stomach sinks. He’d noticed, of course, that something had been wrong with Changbin since the beginning of the school year, but he’d never mustered enough courage to ask. _I guess you didn’t really like him that much, _Felix tells himself. _If you really cared about him you would’ve asked. _

Felix thinks about Changbin, all alone in his room – Felix realizes he doesn’t know what Changbin’s room looks like, though Changbin’s been to his so many times that Changbin could probably navigate it blindfolded and not step on a single stray sock. Felix realizes that he doesn’t really know anything about Changbin, though he’s convinced himself that he’s been obsessed with him for about a year now.

_It’s not your fault he’s good-looking. And hot. And cute. How were you _not_ supposed to find him attractive?_

_But that’s it, isn’t it? You just found him hot._

Felix sighs. _Good thing he never got to read that stupid letter._

“Hey, Felix! Are you riding in Coach Park’s car?”

Felix pauses in the middle of punching his combination into his locker. “_Chan_? Should you be resting?”

“Doctor said I’m fine. I can’t play, but that doesn’t mean I can’t go to training, right?” Chan grins.

_That definitely means you can’t go to training. But it’s not like I can tell you what to do, right?_

“So, are you riding with Coach Park? Should we wait up for you?” Chan asks.

“Yeah, I’ll just get my stuff.” Felix opens his locker and pulls his gym bag out. He slams his locker shut again as he stands up. “Let’s go?”

“You dropped something.” Chan points at the floor.

Felix looks down. There’s that crumpled piece of paper from that morning. _I really need to clean my locker, _Felix thinks as he bends down to pick it up and toss it.

Then he realizes it’s some thick, cream-colored _parchment_ paper he definitely doesn’t use.

_Was this here yesterday?_

Felix starts uncrumpling it, and finds it’s been folded further into four.

**_Dear Felix_**, one of the sides reads in smudged black handwriting that definitely isn’t his.

_Holy shit. Holy shit. Someone actually wrote me a-_

“What is it?” Chan asks.

Felix pockets the paper. “Just some stuff I need to buy.”

_Why did I lie about that? What the hell?_

“Oh, okay. We should probably get going, Coach Park might _actually_ leave us this time.”

“Yeah.” Felix follows Chan out the door, extremely aware of the folded piece of parchment in his pocket, as if it were a brick and not a tiny piece of paper.

“I guess it’s us again, Mr. Felix sir.”

“Yeah.” Felix manages to force himself to smile at Dongpyo. _Is that what I seemed like to Changbin? He must’ve been annoyed with me._

_Not that I’m annoyed with Dongpyo. He’s a nice kid._

“Everyone, huddle up!” Coach Wang calls from halfway across the field.

Felix looks at Dongpyo, who just shrugs back. _We haven’t even thrown a single ball for the other to catch and Coach Wang _already_ sees something wrong?_ _Jeez._

“Okay, before we start,” Coach Wang says, once the entire team (except for Changbin, of course) is assembled around him. Felix notices that Coach Park’s decided to stay out of the huddle for whatever reason. “I just wanted to announce that as of today, Seo Changbin is no longer captain.”

No one reacts. Which probably isn’t what Coach Wang had prepared himself for, because he pauses before he says anything else.

“In his place,” The coach says carefully, looking from one boy to the other with a look of utter confusion on his face. “Chan will be taking over as captain.”

_Oh. _Felix thinks. _That’s why Coach Park doesn’t want to be here._

_I don’t, either._

“Any questions?” Coach Wang asks, still looking at the boys one by one as if he’s afraid one of them will just go off like a landmine. “None?”

Felix knows he should step in and say something – Changbin would’ve done the same for him, and he _has_. _He broke someone’s fucking rib for you._

But before Felix actually says anything, he thinks back again. _He wasn’t doing it for you. He was probably embarrassed over the whole Valentine thing. He probably didn’t want Junhyun going around telling everyone that you’d given him a Valentine. _

_He’d probably be disgusted if he found out you were the one standing up for him now._

“No questions?” Coach Wang looks back at Coach Park, who doesn’t look his way. “Okay then, back to the drills.”

“Yes, Coach.” The boys mumble out of time with each other.

_The day before_

Changbin’s trying to rub the inkstains off his fingers, but that fountain pen in the vice principal’s office must’ve been filled with car paint or something. The black is smudged all over his fingers.

“Seatbelt, Changbin.” Teacher Ahn says gently.

“O- Oh, of course.” Changbin clips his seatbelt on obediently. “Thanks for giving me a ride home, Teacher Ahn. You didn’t have to.”

“It’s the least I could do since Dongho’s dumb ass couldn’t.”

Changbin stares over the console at the history teacher for a very, very long while.

Teacher Ahn looks back with her eyes wide. “I- I mean-! Oh dear- _I swear I’m not having an affair with your father, Changbin_!”

Changbin bites back a smile at how completely flustered Teacher Ahn is. “Uh, I knew that.”

“Oh. Good.” Teacher Ahn flips her hair over one soulder self-consciously. “Of course you did. Because it’s so… The idea makes me want to puke, Changbin, I swear I would _never_-”

“It makes me kinda want to puke, too, Teacher Ahn.”

“Right. He’s your dad. Disgusting.” Teacher Ahn grimaces and hits the radio on. “So, where do you want to have lunch?”

“I thought we were going straight home.” Changbin frowns. “Since I’m suspended?”

“You’re suspended from _school,_” Teacher Ahn says. “Not from restaurants.”

Changbin frowns at the teacher again. “Did they tell you _why_ I’m suspended?”

“You broke a boy’s rib, I know.”

“His _rib is broken_?” Changbin gasps, his hands flying to his mouth in horror.

“Oh shit, you didn’t know? Oh crap, Changbin, I’m sorry, this is the _worst_ way for you to find out.” Teacher Ahn shuts the radio off again with a heavy sigh. “He’s fine, though.”

“_His rib is broken_!”

“Just a little broken! Jinyoung said he was fine! He had enough energy to be calling you names, so he’s fine!”

Changbin’s running his hands through his hair. “I broke someone’s _rib_!”

“Just a _little_ bit!” Teacher Ahn takes a deep breath. “So where do you want to eat, Changbin?”

“I’m not very hungry right now, Teacher Ahn, sorry.” Changbin murmurs.

“Sure, sure.” Teacher Ahn nods. “I’ve got some meat thawing at home that I was going to braise.”

Changbin tries not to look too excited when he turns to her with a broad, toothy smile.

“But it’s…” Teacher Ahn grimaces. “Spare _ribs_.”

“Oh.”

Changbin’s slurping up the sauce of the braised beef (he’s avoiding the “R” word), looking at how different Teacher Ahn’s apartment looks from theirs. He’d spent the whole afternoon watching TV with the history teacher on her couch, only looking away from the screen every now and then to look around her apartment. It seems to have the exact same shape and layout as theirs, but with much, much less clutter. And color-coordination among the furniture, which Changbin likes. _It’s probably easier to keep an apartment clean when you live alone._

Changbin takes another thoughtful slurp of sauce. As it turns out, their apartments are actually one-bedroom apartments. Changbin’s room in Teacher Ahn’s apartment seems to be a semi-outdoor laundry area. _Mom and Dad must’ve just thrown in some walls and stuff to make it my bedroom._ _Which explains why it gets so cold in the winter. _

“Sorry we have to eat leftovers from lunch.” Teacher Ahn says, stacking as many pieces of rib on her spoon as she can.

“No, it’s really good, Teacher Ahn.” Changbin nods aggressively. “I’d eat this for every meal of the rest of my life if I could.”

Teacher Ahn smiles. “You’re too much, Changbin.”

“You’re really good at cooking, Teacher Ahn.” Changbin says. “I suck at it.”

Teacher Ahn stops with her own spoon just lifted to her mouth. “You cook?”

“Yeah, most of the time, but I’m not getting any better at it.” Changbin scoops some rice into his mouth, smiling as it mixes in with the beef sauce. “How do you get the beef so soft?”

“Your dad doesn’t cook?”

“Not well. Or often.” Changbin takes another bite of beef. “He always has dinner out before he comes home.”

“Oh.” Teacher Ahn puts her spoon down without taking the bite after all. “That may be partly my fault.”

“You mean Dad’s been eating _here_ for dinner?” Changbin makes a face. “Can I eat here, too? I mean, I don’t wanna impose-”

“I don’t think your mom would like it.”

“No, I don’t think she would.” Changbin sighs. “Can I take some of this home for tomorrow?”

“Of course.” Teacher Ahn nods. “I’ll get you a container-”

They both hear the heavy footsteps up the outer stairs of the building. And the loud arguing. Changbin feels embarrassed at how worried Teacher Ahn looks. He wonders if all their neighbors hear everything, if his parents’ voices are _this_ loud from the apartment below. _I’m so sorry, Teacher Ahn. _

“I think that’s Mom and Dad. I should get going.” Changbin says, carefully resting his utensils down. “Thanks for everything, Teacher Ahn.”

Teacher Ahn stands up. “No, I’ll give you some food to bring home so you don’t have to-”

“My mom probably wouldn’t like it.” Changbin says.

“No, she wouldn’t.” Teacher Ahn says, just as Changbin’s mom’s voice comes straining down from upstairs.

“Where is he?” Changbin’s mom yells.

“I don’t know-”

“_Your _girlfriend’s the one who-”

“She’s not my girlfriend!”

Changbin pushes his chair back loudly to drown them out just a little bit. He stops at the door on his way out. “Teacher Ahn, I’m glad you’re not having an affair with my dad.”

“Changbin-”

“You deserve better than him, honestly.” Changbin gives her a smile before stepping out.

Changbin pulls out his house key and unlocks the door gingerly. He can’t hear his parents’ voices even through the thin walls, though he doesn’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing.

When he pushes the door open, he finds his mom sitting by the shoe rack, head buried in her knees.

“Mom?”

Changbin’s mom looks up at him, eyes wide. “Changbin! Are you all right? Are you hurt?”

“N- No,” Changbin’s so surprised when she jumps to her feet to hug him that he staggers back a step. “I’m fine, Mom.”

“Is that him?” Changbin’s dad puts his phone down and runs over. “Changbin, what happened?”

“I got…” Changbin pauses. He was about to say that he’d gotten into a fight, but it was hardly a fight. Junhyun didn’t even get to hit him back. Part of Changbin wishes he had. Changbin lowers his head and his voice as he says, “I got suspended.”

“For _what_?” Changbin’s mom stops hugging him to hold him at an arm’s length.

Changbin finds the words getting caught somewhere. He hadn’t thought hard about it all day, but now he’s too ashamed to even admit to it.

He looks up at his parents watching him, their eyes wide with concern. He wonders if they’ll still be like this when they find out what happened.

“I punched a guy.”

Changbin’s mom’s hands drop to her sides. She lets out an exasperated noise and turns to the wall. “God damn it.”

“Why?” Changbin dad asks.

“He was picking on one of my friends.”

“Oh.” Changbin’s dad nods slowly. “Okay.”

“Okay? _Okay_?!” Changbin’s mom shrieks, glaring at her husband. “Your son hit someone and you think it’s _okay_?!”

“He said the boy was picking on his friend-”

“That’s not the point!” Changbin’s mom groans. “There’s never a good reason to hit anyone!”

“That’s just how boys work things out-”

“What? What kind of bullshit is that? It doesn’t matter if he’s a boy or not, _I didn’t raise my son to hurt other people!_”

“Neither did I!” Changbin’s dad crosses his arms defensively. “He must get it from his friends!”

“You mean to tell me _Professor Park’s son_ goes around beating the crap out of people?” Changbin’s mom scoffs. “This is probably _your_ fault-”

“How is this _my_ fault!” Changbin’s dad growls.

“You’re so obsessed with your son behaving like a _man_, now look what-”

Changbin drops his bag loudly onto the floor.

“I’m tired.” Changbin says, slipping out of his shoes and nudging them by the shoe cabinet. “I’m going to bed.”

“No.” His mom says flatly. “We’re not done talking about this.”

“You’re not even talking to me.” Changbin says, walking between his parents like he can’t see them.

His dad catches him by the arm. Changbin knows he didn’t intend it to be that rough, but his dad just has heavy hands. “Your mom said something, Changbin, listen to her.”

Changbin glares up at him. “_You_ try listening to her.”

“Seo Changbin! That’s no way to talk to your father!” Changbin’s mom shouts.

“You talk to him like that all the time! You’re worse, even.” Changbin shrugs out of his dad’s grasp. “You know everyone in the entire fucking building can hear you two fight? It’s fucking embarrassing-”

Changbin doesn’t even realize what’s happened until his mom gasps. She covers her mouth with both hands and staggers backwards. “I- I’m so sorry, Changbin, I didn’t mean to-”

Changbin lifts a hand slowly up to his face. His cheek stings so much that his eyes are starting to tear up.

“Apologize to your mother.” Changbin’s dad says.

_What? _Changbin looks up at him in utter confusion.

“She shouldn’t have hit you, but you shouldn’t have been that rude.” Changbin’s dad’s hands tremble as he closes and opens his fists.

Changbin can’t seem to stop himself from saying, “She’s the rude one. Do you know what she said to Felix’s parents last weekend?”

“Seo Changbin!” Changbin’s mom breaks into sobs. “Stop it! What’s wrong with you?”

“I haven’t done-” Changbin swallows, but there’s a huge lump in his throat. “I mean, I know what I’ve done wrong, but at least I own up to it.”

Changbin’s parents stare at him in silence for a moment that seems to go on forever. His dad puts an arm around his mom’s shoulders, looking down at Changbin with this worried look that’s making Changbin feel sick.

“First you pick fights at school, now you talk back to us like this?” Changbin’s mom sniffles. “Why are you like this, Changbin? This isn’t you.”

Changbin’s lower lip quivers. “No, it isn’t. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Changbin’s dad tightens his arm around Changbin’s mom’s shoulders. “It’s been a long day.”

“It’s not just today.” Changbin’s mom says quietly.

Changbin takes a shallow, stuttering breath. _She’s right._

_Present_

Felix is tearing down one of the walls in his Minecraft city when he remembers something.

He looks up at the webcam.

> _lisaaa_: yo whats up looks like u left the stove on lmao

“Shit. Give me five seconds, guys.” He scrambles out of his computer chair, which skids into his bed as he jumps out. He flings the door to his room open, and the sound of the washing machine running floods in. “Pops!”

Felix runs across the apartment, vaulting over the couch. “POPS STOP THE MACHINE!”

“WHAT! WHY?” His papa asks, stepping back from the machine with his hands up.

“ARE MY SCHOOL PANTS IN THERE?”

“WHICH ONES?”

“THE ONES I USED YESTERDAY!” Felix tugs at his own hair. “OH MY GOD!”

“OH MY GOD!” His papa echoes, pressing on the Cancel button on the machine like his life depends on it. “WHY?”

“I HAD SOMETHING IN MY POCKET!” Felix drops to his knees once the machine stops running. He doesn’t care that the smell of the detergent is burning his nose when he opens the door, he just starts digging through the mound of black pants. _Nope, this is dad’s, nope, this is papa’s, nope, this is dad’s – _“WHY DOES EVERYONE IN THIS HOUSE HAVE BLACK SLACKS!”

“BECAUSE WE’RE ALL WORKING MEN!” His papa yells back.

“AAAAAAGHHH!” Felix screams, heaving the entire soggy pile out onto his lap. He digs through it until he finds his own pants. He checks the pockets. It’s empty.

“WHAT IS IT?”

“I DON’T KNOW!” Felix keeps digging through the pants until he finds one with a slightly thicker pocket. He turns the pocket inside out and finds a soggy little square of paper inside. “Oh no.”

“Why?” His papa squats next to him and frowns at the cream-colored square.

Felix flips it over. The _Dear Felix_ is completely gone, but the paper is definitely the same.

He tries to peel it open, but it just crumbles. He peels it to pieces, laying the pieces out on the ground.

“What’s that?” His papa asks, squinting at the squares of wet paper Felix is assembling like a puzzle. “Is it money?”

Felix groans and bangs his forehead on the washing machine.

“Felix!”

Felix looks back down at the pieces of paper. Someone had written on them in that runny black ink, but his papa’s Tide Pod had done its job too well. Most of the ink had washed out of the paper, but whatever was left was hardly enough to make out words.

_Fuck my life. _Felix bangs his forehead against the washing machine again. _Fuck. My. Life._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you know EXACTLY who wrote Felix a valentine


	29. PRESIDENT SEUNGMIN

Jimin walks around the living room of their apartment with her hands behind her back, like she’s inspecting her brother’s work.

Seungmin lifts the paintbrush off the slogan he’d been painting. “Yeah?”

“Nothing.” Jimin beams at him. “I’m just so proud of you.”

Seungmin smiles back and finishes filling in the word ‘LAPDOG’ in bright red letters.

“When you become President,” Jimin says, settling on the couch behind him. “Can you appoint me in your cabinet?”

Seungmin stops painting to glare at her. “No, that would be nepotism.”

Jimin puts a hand to her heart. “Oh my god I love you _so_ much.”

“Mr. Kang,” Minho puts his folded apron on the counter. “I’ll be taking the rest of the day off.”

His boss gives him a pained expression. “Please tell me it’s not to _spend quality time_ with my nephew.”

Minho laughs. “No, we’re just setting things up for a protest.”

“Oh, interesting. What are you protesting?”

“The sale of the animal shelter.” Minho says. “Oh, my sister told me she’s going to be at the protest.”

“Is she?” Jisung’s uncle laughs. “When is it?”

“Monday afternoon.” Minho grins. _What an easy mark._

“Dad, I’m going to a protest on Friday afternoon.” Jeongin says, straightening his back.

His dad lifts an eyebrow without looking up from the dishes he’s washing. “Have you asked your mom?”

Jeongin huffs and walks over to the living room, where his mom’s breastfeeding his sister. He scrunches up his nose at the idea (gross), but goes up to her anyway. “Mommy, can I go to a protest on Friday afternoon?”

His mom gives him a lazy smile. “Absolutely not, baby.”

“But _Mommy_, it’s for the animal shelter!” Jeongin pouts, sitting on the rug to rest his chin on her knees. “The mayor’s going to sell it to this gross company that’s going to make it into a shopping mall-”

“You know the mayor is your uncle?”

“What.”

“He’s my cousin.” Jeongin’s mom looks off into the distance as if remembering good times. “First cousin on my mom’s side.”

“So I _shouldn’t_ go?”

“No, on second thought…I think I’ll come with.” Jeongin’s mom smiles, but it’s less than kind. “Imagine the look on his face.”

“Honey,” Jeongin’s dad calls gently from the kitchen. “No more revenge on your relatives.”

“They deserve to be put in their place once in a while, don’t they, Jeongin?”

“Uh…” Jeongin weighs his options for a moment. _If I agree with dad, then I’m probably morally right, but if I agree with mom, I get to join the protest. _“Yes?”

“That’s my boy,” Jeongin’s mom says, ruffling Jeongin’s hair. She calls out to her husband, “Darling, can we leave Yuna with you on Friday?”

“You’d better,” Jeongin’s dad says. “If anything happens to either of you two I’m razing your cousin’s office to the ground.”

“_No more revenge_ my ass.” Jeongin’s mom laughs. Yuna pats her urgently on the arm. “Oh, sorry, Yuna.”

_Friday afternoon_

Mark shuffles through the crowds of volunteers, dropping the occasional, “Thanks for coming by” when one of them would look his way.

_“Thanks for coming by”? Is this a fucking party?_

“Hey,” Mark taps one of the shelter’s actual employees on the arm. His name’s either Jisub or Jibeom, but Mark couldn’t care less what it is, since he’s hardly ever there. “Have you seen Seungmin?”

“Who?”

_Wow he’s _really_ never here._

“The kid who’s always volunteering here? Kinda this tall, fluffy hair, glasses?” Mark asks, holding a hand an approximate distance from the top of his head.

“I think I saw her in the storage room.”

Mark makes a mental note to just fucking fire Jisub or Jibeom or whatever his name is. Then he remembers why he hadn’t fired the guy yet – he can never remember what his name is.

“Hey!” Mark shoves the office open to find one of the other employees dozing on the couch. _She didn’t even wake up when I came in, the fucking audacity. _“Rina! Hey!”

Rina rubs her eyes. “Hey Boss.”

“Don’t you _Hey Boss_ me, you’re supposed to be in charge of cage cleaning today. And you just _got_ here, what’re you so tired for?” Mark snaps, tugging the fluffy duvet off his second most worthless employee.

“There are so many volunteers anyway, I don’t have to do shit.”

Mark starts mentally counting to a hundred to stop himself from shoving her off the damn couch. “Have you seen Seungmin?”

“The kid?”

“Yes, the kid.”

“No.”

Mark’s just about to go on a firing spree when the door to the office opens behind him.

“Mark?”

Mark turns around slowly, adjusting his face into a calm smile. “Oh, hey Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung steps into the office and shuts the door carefully. _No one else does that, not even Seungmin._ Mark’s heart does a little twist.

“Have you seen Hyunjin?”

Mark finds himself blinking blankly at the other man. “What?”

“I- This is embarrassing,” Jinyoung scratches the back of his head. “But I can’t find Hyunjin.”

“What,” Mark starts slowly. “What the _fuck_ do you mean?”

“I mean I brought my brother home today after school, I took a nap for like fifteen minutes, and the next thing I knew he wasn’t in his room.” Jinyoung says through clenched teeth. “I’ve already tried all his other friends, he’s _got_ to be here.”

“I haven’t seen him-” Mark says, catching himself when he sees the panic rise in Jinyoung’s face. “-_But_ I haven’t done any rounds in like an hour, let’s go.”

Mark grabs one of Jinyoung’s hands – which is clammy – and pulls him out of the office.

Mark tightens his grip as they weave through volunteers cleaning cages, washing the animals, feeding them… Many of these volunteers are new, the mayfly sort of volunteer who seems to come from nowhere, does something, then never shows their face again. _The opposite of Seungmin. _

It’s only when Jinyoung tugs his hand free does Mark realize they’ve done a full round of the animal shelter. “He’s not here.” Jinyoung says.

“We haven’t checked the stora-” Mark offers, and Jinyoung races down the hallway before Mark can even finish his sentence.

Mark pushes the door to the storage to find it nearly full of supplies (all donations, the mayor isn’t shit), but free of any Hyunjins. There is, however, one Jinyoung pacing back and forth between the sacks of dog food.

“Where the hell could he be?” Jinyoung says, anxiously combing through his hair with his fingers. “I’ve already tried all of his girl friends’ houses-”

“He has _more than one_?”

“Girl _space_ friends.” Jinyoung groans, tugging on his hair. “Actually, I don’t fucking know anymore.”

“Hold on, calm down,” Mark says, taking both of Jinyoung’s hands before the man combs himself bald. “We’ll find him, okay?”

Jinyoung scowls. “And how do you propose we do that?”

“We find Seungmin first, because I seem to have lost him, too.”

“Fuck’s sake, Mark.”

Changbin stops at the corner of the living room by the front door, resting his mop against the wall for a moment. He’s only been suspended for five days, but he’s already running out of things to clean. He’s done the bathroom, the kitchen, and now the entire living room. _At this rate I’m gonna have to offer cleaning services to Teacher Ahn._

Someone knocks on the door.

Changbin frowns. His parents hadn’t said anything about any deliveries, but then again, they hadn’t said a single thing to him in days.

He tiptoes across the wet floor to peer into the peephole.

Changbin opens the door with a frown. “What are you-”

“Hello, good afternoon, sir, we have a delivery for a Mr. Seo?” Jisung holds up his phone. He’s written on it with some LED board app: _ARE YOU GROUNDED?_

Minho holds up his phone, which reads:_ JUST NOD IF YES._

“Why don’t you just talk?” Changbin asks.

Jisung types furiously and raises his phone again: _SHHH YOUR PARENTS WILL HEAR YOU_

Minho types something quickly: _STUPID_

“They’re not home.”

Jisung heaves such a huge sigh of relief that his shoulders seem to drop down to his sides. “Oh, great, I thought we were gonna have to smuggle you and shit.”

“I can’t go out, Jisung.”

“We’re not asking you on a fucking date, Changbin.” Minho scoffs. “We’re headed to Seungmin’s protest at the mayor’s office.”

“I can’t go.” Changbin says. “Sorry.”

“Why not?” Jisung makes a face. “Your parents aren’t home, and if you just pop in and out they’ll never know-”

“I. Can’t. Go.” Changbin says, more firmly this time. “Maybe next time,” He adds, in what he hopes is a friendlier tone.

Minho squeezes Jisung’s arm just as the latter opens his mouth to say something. “Come on, Jisung, if he doesn’t want to go, then he doesn’t want to go.”

“You don’t care about the animal shelter?” Jisung blurts out anyway.

_I do, _Changbin thinks as soon as Jisung says that. _I mean, I know I should. But I don’t feel like I do. Not right now. I don’t feel like anything right now._

_I can’t say that to them. They’ll get worried._

“I do, but I can’t go this time.” Changbin says. “I hope things work out for the shelter, though.”

“We’ll let you know what happens.” Minho gives Changbin a warm smile, but it’s the overly friendly smile of someone who’s deeply concerned for you. Changbin hates it.

“Okay.” Changbin says. “Take care, you guys.”

“You too, dude.” Jisung’s mouth is twisted with worry.

Changbin closes the door. He can hear Minho and Jisung talking in agitated, low voices about something – _him, probably_ – as they head to the stairs. He hates the way they looked at him, because that’s how his parents have been looking at him all week. _Like I’m a sick person in a wheelchair and they don’t know what to do about me._

Seungmin hands out all the signs he’d made but two. They’re his favorites, because he’s really proud of how the “CAPITALIST SCUM” turned out on one, and how he’d decided to paint the other one white on a red background. _Hyunjin’ll love this one._

He looks over the crowd. It’s probably ten times bigger than what he’d expected, stretching all the way to the end of the block. _We could probably wrap around the entire city hall. _Seungmin laughs at the idea.

“So how’s this going to go down, Mr. President?” Minho asks, leaning in to shout into Seungmin’s ear above the noise of the crowd.

“I’m waiting for 5pm.” Seungmin checks his watch. “Oh.”

“Someone’s coming out!” One of the girls near them shouts, pointing at the city hall.

Seungmin spins around. Sure enough, what looks like an unfortunate intern is coming down the front steps of the city hall.

“Kids!” He shouts, though he doesn’t seem much older than Seungmin. “Please! You can’t hang out here!”

“We’re not _hanging out_!” Someone shouts back with a scoff.

“This is a protest, genius!”

The city hall intern groans. “That’s even worse! You can’t protest-”

“SAVE THE ANIMAL SHELTER!” Someone shouts from where they’d climbed partway up the city hall’s fence. It’s Jisung.

“SAVE THE ANIMAL SHELTER!” The crowd echoes.

“EAT THE RICH!” Jisung yells “FEED THE CATS!”

“EAT THE RICH! FEED THE CATS!”

Minho snorts.

“EAT THE RICH!” He joins in, with a grin that lets everyone know the irony’s not lost on him. “FEED THE CATS!”

“SAVE THE ANIMAL SHELTER!” Jisung shouts again.

“SAVE THE ANIMAL SHELTER!”

“Save the animal shelter,” Seungmin mumbles along, scanning the crowd with a frown.

“EAT THE RICH! FEED THE DOGS!”

“Eat the rich,” Seungmin says, squeezing through the crowd with a deepening frown. “Feed the dogs.”

“SAVE THE ANIMAL SHELTER!”

“Save the animal…” Seungmin reaches the end of the crowd. _This isn’t right. _

“EAT THE RICH! FEED THE CATS!”

Seungmin makes his way through the crowd again, but he’d been right the first time.

_Hyunjin isn’t here._

_Two days earlier_

Seungmin rubs his eyes, looking away from the spreadsheet he’s working on.

The door to the animal shelter’s office squeaks open.

“Mr. Tuan, I think I’m gonna need more than an afternoon for this one, it’s not balancing up…” Seungmin realizes that Mr. Tuan’s not reacting, which is uncharacteristic of him. Seungmin spins around in the computer chair.

Hyunjin’s standing by the door with a goofy grin on his face. “Mr. Tuan’s got you doing accounting again?”

Seungmin makes a face. “No one’s going to do it if I don’t.”

Hyunjin walks over, gently lowering his bag onto one of the desks. “Is anyone using this?”

“No, that’s still yours.”

“Oh. Thanks.”

Seungmin just nods and goes back to wrestling with MS Excel.

Hyunjin rolls over on another computer chair. “What’re you working on? The balance sheet?”

“Yeah, but this balance sheet… is not balancing.” Seungmin groans.

“So it’s just a sheet.”

Seungmin snorts. “Yeah. A _piece of sheet_.”

Hyunjin – there’s no other word for it – guffaws. Which makes Seungmin laugh so hard he nearly slides out of his chair.

Hyunjin catches him by the arm. “Wait, why isn’t the balance sheet balancing all of a sudden? You’ve been doing that for like a year now.”

Seungmin rights himself and swivels back to the computer. “It’s not the accounting that’s hard, it’s hard to find excuses for all the stuff I used my dad’s card to buy.”

Hyunjin chortles. “Just say it’s from the mayor’s office.”

“I did that last time, but Mr. Tuan’s already seen the email from the mayor about the budget, so I’ve got to think of something else.” Seungmin spins around while he thinks.

“What about donations?”

Seungmin stops spinning. “Oh my god, Hyunjin, you’re a genius.”

A goofy smile crosses Hyunjin’s face. “Damn I hope I am, because I have a Chemistry exam tomorrow that I am _not_ studying for.”

Seungmin stops in the middle of fabricating bogus donor names. “What.”

“I’ve got a Chemistry exam tomorrow,” Hyunjin shrugs. “But honestly there’s no chance I’d-”

“What are you doing here?” Seungmin kicks one leg of Hyunjin’s chair. “You should be studying!”

“There’s no point, Mini, I don’t get any of it.” Hyunjin lets out a self-deprecating laugh. “And there’s no hope of me learning all of it now-”

“Forget this balance sheet business shit.” Seungmin says, saving and closing the file. “We’re going now. Come on.”

“Going where?” Hyunjin frowns, but he gets up and follows Seungmin.

Seungmin marches down the hallway until he runs into Mr. Tuan helping a few volunteers strap leashes onto five of the stray dogs. “Boss, Hyunjin and I are leaving early.”

“Oh, sure.” Mr. Tuan grins up at him. “You guys have a lot of homework to do?”

“Hyunjin has an exam.”

“Yeah, sure, go ahead.” Mr. Tuan gestures to the front door with a flourish. “Good luck on your exam, Hyunjin.”

“Thanks, Mr. Tuan.”

Seungmin is torn between being happy that he’s got Hyunjin to himself for once, and being concerned that the guy is just following Seungmin without even asking where they’re headed. _He is the exact sort of person who would end up with all his organs harvested for the black market. _

Seungmin looks back at his friend, who gives him a grin from ear to ear. _What are we going to do with you, Hyunjin?_

They carry on like this for four more blocks, with Seungmin walking purposefully along the sidewalk and Hyunjin skipping close behind, humming a song that’s played on the radio every five minutes.

Seungmin stops, and Hyunjin bumps into him. “Are you not going to ask where we’re going?”

“Why?” Hyunjin shrugs, jingling the keychains all over his backpack. “Where are we going?”

“My apartment.” Seungmin nods to the two-storey building he’d just stopped in front of. “I mean, the one my sister and I share.”

“Oh, cool.” Hyunjin smiles again. “Never been to your apartment before.”

Seungmin smiles back, sincerely hoping Park Hyunjin doesn’t blindly skip his way into some kind of cult in the future.

“Jimin-noona!” Seungmin knocks on his sister’s door. “I brought Hyunjin over, if that’s okay.”

The door to his sister’s room flies open. “Oh my god, Small Park!”

“Hello.” Hyunjin says with a sheepish little wave.

“You probably don’t remember, but I used to go to your place pretty often when you were little.” Jimin says, holding out a hand roughly two feet off the floor. “Probably this little.”

“Oh.” Hyunjin blushes. “Sorry, I don’t remember.”

“Yeah, you were really small, I didn’t think you would.” Jimin smacks Hyunjin on the arm. “Look at you now! Are you taller than Jinyoung yet?”

“Oh, uh, I don’t know. We don’t really compare.”

“Well, I guess it’s not as obvious as Seungmin and me.” Jimin rolls her eyes at her brother, who towers over her in just his socks. “Anyway, tell your brother I said hi.”

“I will.” Hyunjin says brightly.

Jimin shields her mouth from Hyunjin’s view to mouth to her brother, ‘He’s _way_ cuter than Jinyoung.’

“Noona.” Seungmin frowns.

“Just saying.” Jimin says in a sing-song way before shutting the door to her room again.

“What did she say?” Hyunjin asks.

“Nothing.” Seungmin claps his hands together. “So, let’s go to my room? Yeah?”

“Okay.”

Seungmin takes the few steps to his room and opens the door. “You can make yourself comfortable there, I’ll just get another chair from outside.”

“I can get it.” Hyunjin offers.

“No, Hyunjin, you’re a guest.” Seungmin insists. “Make yourself _comfortable_.”

“Okay.” Hyunjin settles into the plush green chair by Seungmin’s desk.

Seungmin steps back outside to find his sister peeking out into the hallway with a shit-eating grin on her face. “What do you want, noona?”

“Why’s Baby Park here?”

“He needs help studying for a chemistry exam.”

Jimin snorts. “Bullshit.”

“Believe whatever you want, but he _is_ here to study.” Seungmin says, walking past her to get a chair from their dining table.

“Bullshit.” Jimin says again when Seungmin passes her carrying the chair. She clasps her hands together in mock pride. “Can’t believe my beautiful gay baby brother actually has a hot boy over. You grow up so f-”

“He’s here to _study_.” Seungmin grumbles, lifting the chair as if threatening to throw it at his sister, WWE-style. “Please don’t bother us, noona.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I have _no_ intentions of bothering you two.”

Seungmin groans and shakes his head as he turns the knob to his room.

“Anyway-” Seungmin puts the chair down. “What’re you doing?”

“You didn’t finish painting this.” Hyunjin says, gently dabbing a paintbrush with red paint onto a huge sign on the floor of Seungmin’s room. It currently reads: _BLOCK THE SALE OF THE ANIMAL SH_

“Just leave it, Hyunjin, I’ll finish it later.” Seungmin says, stacking the finished signs in the corner of his room, facing the wall so they don’t distract Hyunjin further.

“But the protest is already this Friday!” Hyunjin says. “That’s just two days from now!”

“It’s not gonna take me two days to paint that sign.”

Hyunjin pouts up at him. “But what if it does?”

“It won’t.” Seungmin bends over and screws the lid of the red paint shut. “And _your_ exam is tomorrow, so we need to get started on that now, don’t you think?”

“No, I don’t think.”

“What?” Seungmin says, laughing. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, actually.” Hyunjin laughs, too. “I swear, if you can make me learn chemistry in a couple hours… Nah, you’re Seungmin, you can probably do it.”

Seungmin fights a self-satisfied smile from crossing his face as he sits down in one of the chairs. “So, what topics are covered by the exam?”

“Uh, wait, I’ve got it here somewhere.” Hyunjin says, slipping his phone out of his pocket. “Oh, and also, Seungmin?”

“Yeah?”

“I can’t pay you back for helping me with chemistry but like, I will scream my _lungs_ out at the protest this Friday.”

Seungmin laughs. “I’d rather you kept your lungs where they are, thanks.”

_Present_

“My lungs…” Jisung wheezes, clambering down from the fence. He and the rest of the crowd had been chanting for almost an hour now, but if anyone in the city hall can hear them, they’re clearly not bothered by the noise.

Seungmin watches the crowd thin some more, like the few straggler hairs on the top of his dad’s head. 

“This is not good.” Minho sighs. He catches two of his and Seungmin’s schoolmates by the arms. “Hey, where are you guys going?”

“There’s no point, the mayor doesn’t give a fuck and I’m tired.”

Minho grinds his teeth. “Nothing’s really going to happen if you just quit-”

“Mayor Bang’s a boomer. There’s no talking to him.”

The schoolmates shake Minho off and start leaving.

“You’re doing exactly what the boomers fucking want!” Minho shouts after them. “Idiots!”

“Come on, Minho.” Seungmin says, gently turning Minho away from them by the shoulders. “At least they showed up.”

“Oh.” Minho’s mouth forms a tiny little o. “Did Park Hyunjin not…”

Seungmin frowns at him. “No, I didn’t mean- It’s not like he was _required_ to come here anyway, he’s probably got a good reason-”

“Hyunjin? I saw him in Kang Minhee’s story.” Jisung shrugs, reaching into his jacket to hand Minho a bottle of water.

Minho takes the bottle of water then elbows his boyfriend roughly in the ribs. “Idiot.”

Seungmin hears a loud snap. He realizes in mild surprise that it had been the handle of the sign he’d been holding, and he had gripped it so hard that it had broken right in the middle. “And what was he _doing_ in Kang Minhee’s story?”

Jisung had already been sweaty from all the jumping and shouting and climbing fences, but the sweat starts coming down his forehead like rain. “Uh… Um… Uh…”

“I hope he and Kang Minhee are ending world hunger.” Seungmin says, snapping the sign’s handle into four pieces. “Or _curing fucking cancer_.”

“Uh, uh, no I don’t think they were.” Jisung mumbles out.

“Just shut up, dumbass.” Minho hisses at him.

Seungmin snaps the signs’ handle another time. _I can’t _believe_ Hyunjin._

_That actual piece of _shit_._

“L- Like you said, he’s probably got a good reason-” Minho stammers out, but he’s interrupted by a loud noise. He looks up at the source of the noise and finds the city’s mayor, a very round, pink man, looking out the window of what seems to be his office.

Only the window isn’t there anymore, because most of it has shattered from the impact of a brick that the mayor’s now picked up in his left hand.

“Who did that?” Seungmin shouts, looking over the thirty or so people still left among them. “Who did that?”

Everyone’s looking around at each other in utter confusion, which only grows worse when police sirens start wailing.

“WHO DID THAT?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Beta’s note:** this ending’s vibe is the part in Jisung Mulaney’s story where his friend Jeongin (who is now married and with 2 children; this man is now a father) he smashes a forty on the ground and yells SCATTER… and so they all run off in different directions. Like that scene in Ratatouille
> 
> **Rice’s note:** JISUNG MULANEY AMPUTEK AHAHHAHA


	30. #SeungminGoingToJailParty

“Jinyoung.” Mark says, frowning at his phone.

“Yeah?” Jinyoung drums his hands on the wheel while waiting for the light to turn green.

“I think I found them.”

“Where are they?”

Mark sucks in a deep breath. “They’ve been arrested.”

“Fuck.”

_A few moments earlier_

Seungmin’s head is spinning. He’s too pissed off at Hyunjin to think straight, so much so that when he bumps into a girl he says, “Thank you.”

The girl turns around. “Seungmin!”

_It’s one of Hyunjin’s friends from school. Tzuyu, right? I think she’s Tzuyu. _Seungmin starts looking around at the dispersing crowd of people trying to outrun the police. _Maybe Hyunjin’s here and I just missed-_

“Come on, get Hyunjin, let’s go!” Tzuyu says urgently.

“Hyunjin’s here?”

“Isn’t he with you?”

Seungmin feels his shoulders sag. _Why am I not surprised that he disappeared on his other friends, too?_

“No, he’s not.” Seungmin says. “I’ll hold them off, you should run.”

“No, I’m not going to just let you-”

“Run!” Seungmin shouts at her, spreading his arms to block off a pair of cops who’d been making a grab at them. “Go!”

Tzuyu hesitates for only a split second, her brow furrowed in worry. Then the second is over and she starts running off as fast as she can.

One of the police take one of Seungmin’s arms. “Young man, you have the right to remain silent-”

“Anything I say can and will be used against me, I know.” Seungmin grumbles, trudging along as the cop leads him to the nearest patrol car. He stops at the door and looks around one last time. The sidewalk is littered with discarded and trampled signs, but is otherwise empty. It seems like everyone else had managed to get away aside from him – even Minho and Jisung seem to have vaporized.

The only other people left are Jeongin and his mom, who’s still shouting at the city hall.

“COME OUT HERE AND FACE YOUR PEOPLE, YOU FUCKING COWARD!” Jeongin’s mom yells as the officers try to ease her gently into the back of the police car. “SIHYUK-OPPA YOU’RE A COWARD AND A LOSER AND YOU DON’T DESERVE TO BE REELECTED!”

“Mommy, please.” Jeongin whines, climbing into the car without so much as a nudge from the police. “Just get in the car.”

“YOU’RE LUCKY I MISSED YOUR HEAD YOU FUCKING _SWINE_!” Jeongin’s mom shouts one more time before flopping gracelessly into the patrol car.

_Ah. _Seungmin thinks as he climbs into the other patrol car. _So _she’s_ the one who threw the brick._

Seungmin looks up at the mayor’s office again as the car drives off. It’s on the third floor, and the building itself is an entire lawn away from the fence.

_Jeongin’s mom has the aim of a _god_._

_Present_

Jinyoung parks the car right in the police station’s driveway. He doesn’t care if it’s illegal or not. If he gets a ticket then he’s already at the station anyway.

“What the fuck were they _thinking_?” Mark groans as they step out of the car.

“Knowing them, there was no thinking involved.” Jinyoung says, not bothering to lock the car as he storms into the police station.

“Oh god, not you _too_.”

Jinyoung frowns at the woman standing by the station’s front desk. “Park Jimin?”

“Yeah. But my claim to fame these days is being Kim Seungmin’s sister, Park Hyunjin’s brother.” Jimin holds up an exasperated peace sign before turning back to the police officer she’d been talking to. “I don’t care what the bail is, can you just let my brother go? He’s a minor and he’s probably not done anything illegal anyway-”

“He defaced city property and put the mayor’s life in danger-”

“The crazy lady over there _just_ said she did it!” Jimin says, gesturing at a woman at the far end of the station, who’s currently being held down by a distressed young man who seems to be her son.

“My mom is _not_ crazy!” The boy shouts back at Jimin.

_Yang Jeongin got arrested too? And his hot mom? What the fuck is going on? _Jinyoung hasn’t been this confused since that one time he’d given marijuana a try.

The police officer speaking to Jimin clears her throat. “Your brother organized an unauthorized protest in front of a public office-”

“As he’s well within his rights to.” Jimin scoffs. “Don’t fuck with me, I just got out of a criminal law exam. Just let my brother out so we can all be-”

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t-”

“_Ma’am_? Excuse me, you are _definitely_ way older than me,” Jimin makes a face. “_Ma’am._”

Jinyoung sighs. Jimin hasn’t changed one bit. He cracks his neck and slips off his jacket, handing it to Mark.

“What are you-”

“Just let it happen.” Jinyoung mutters, before putting on his friendliest smile. He leans on the front desk, gently nudging Jimin out of the way. “Hi, good afternoon, officer. I’m so sorry to butt in like this, but I think there’s been some kind of mistake with my brother being arrested or something like that?”

The officer blinks a few times. “Ah- Uh- Wuh- What’s your brother’s name?”

“Park Hyunjin.” Jinyoung says, scrunching his eyes in fake embarrassment.

“Oh, I’ll um, I will check-” The officer picks up a folder, but all the papers inside tumble out and onto the floor.

“Oh no, let me get that for you.” Jinyoung says, crouching over to sweep all the papers into one hand. There are very few perks to being a teacher, and sadly, picking up papers efficiently is one of them. He hands the sheaf of papers back to the officer with a dazzling smile. “Here you go.”

The officer pulls the papers back slowly, not noticing she’s crushing them in a fist.

“A-hem.” Jimin clears her throat, her eyes rolling so hard they very nearly go back into her head.

“Oh, and can you see if there’s anything you can do for her brother, too?” Jinyoung asks. “His name’s Kim Seungmin.”

“O- Of course, I’ll see what I can do, sir.”

“Please, don’t call me sir,” Jinyoung says. “My name’s Jinyoung.”

“Uh, ah, all right, _Jinyoung_.” The officer looks dazed for a second, then dips into a polite bow, then scurries off through a door leading to the chief’s office.

Jimin heaves an annoyed sigh as she turns to Jinyoung. “Still flirting your way through life, I see.”

“Whatever works, works.” Jinyoung shrugs.

“That should _not_ have worked.” Mark says, pretending to gag. “If I were her I’d have fucking thrown up. _Please, my name’s Jinyoung_. Ugh.”

Jimin grins. “I’ve always liked you, Mark Tuan, you know that?”

“Thanks, Park Jimin, I think you’re great, too.” Mark says.

“Maybe now’s not the time for a reunion?” Jinyoung says, crossing his arms defensively.

The officer comes back out of the chief’s office with a wide grimace on. “Hi, sorry to keep you waiting, but it seems like your brother isn’t here.”

“But you just said he was!” Jimin groans.

“Not you,” The officer scowls at Jimin, then looks at Jinyoung with half a smile. “I was talking to _him_.”

Jinyoung frowns. “So where the _fuck_ is _my_ brother?”

The officer jumps with surprise. “I- I don’t know, but he’s not here.”

“So it’s just Seungmin?” Mark asks.

“Yes, sir, it’s just Kim Seungmin.”

Jinyoung feels like he needs to sit down. He and Mark had just gone on a literal whirlwind goose chase tour of every possible place Hyunjin and Seungmin could be, only for them to find only Seungmin, arrested for some fuckass reason or the other. _Nothing is making sense. _

_But if anything’s happened to my brother, I am _dead_._

“I need to go.” Jinyoung says, putting a hand on one of Mark’s shoulders. “Are you going to stay for Seungmin?”

“I…” Mark turns to Jimin.

“You two go looking for Baby Park.” Jimin says. “I’ll wait for Seungmin.”

“Are you sure?” Mark and Jinyoung ask at once, before giving each other weird looks.

“Yes, my god, he’s _my_ brother, I should be doing this anyway.” Jimin presses her lips together with worry. “Let me know when you find Hyunjin, okay?”

_How? _Jinyoung makes a face. “I don’t have your-”

“We will.” Mark says, putting a hand on Jinyoung’s lower back to steer him towards the door. “See you around, Jimin. I’m sure Seungmin will be fine. He’s a good kid.”

“Thanks, Mark, but you and I both know that if he gets off the hook, it won’t be because he’s a good kid.” Jimin says. “It’ll be because of Dad.”

“Yeah.” Mark sighs.

Hyunjin wakes up with a jolt when he hears the front door slam shut.

“I don’t know, okay!” He hears his brother shout.

“Jinyoung, you have to calm down-” Hyunjin hears someone else say, in a much gentler tone. Hyunjin scrunches his nose trying to place whose voice it is.

“_You_ try losing your fucking brother! My parents are going to k-” His brother falls silent all of a sudden.

Hyunjin waits for a long time, but Jinyoung doesn’t say anything else. He climbs off the couch and walks out of the living room to see what’s up.

_Oh._

Someone has his brother pinned against the wall, and they seem to be… kissing?

The someone is Mr. Tuan.

_Okay. Bye._

Hyunjin quickly walks backward into the living room, stubbing his heel on the corner of the bookshelf, but he doesn’t care.

“Hyunjin!” His brother storms into the living room, his face completely red. “Park Hyunjin where the _hell_ have you been!”

“It’s uh, it’s a long story.”

“Well, I have a _lot_ of time.” Jinyoung crosses his arms. “We’ve been looking for you all afternoon-”

“You and Mr. Tuan?” Hyunjin asks.

“I- We- I’m-” Jinyoung’s face is cherry red all the way to his ears. “Where have you been!”

“I was just helping-”

“Why weren’t you at Seungmin’s protest?” Mr. Tuan asks, stepping out from behind Hyunjin’s brother.

Hyunjin’s stomach flips. He’s sent Seungmin probably a thousand texts and tired to call him a million times to say that he’s sorry, but Seungmin hasn’t replied to a single one or picked up even once.

Hyunjin bites on his lip nervously. “Is he mad?”

“We didn’t get to talk to him, because he got arrested.” Jinyoung says.

“What?” Hyunjin gasps. “What happened?”

“I’m not saying you should have been with him,” Mr. Tuan says. “But you should’ve been with him.”

“No, Mark, I don’t have money to bail him out.” Jinyoung snaps at him, before turning back to Hyunjin. “Look, I know you’re not a kid and I don’t need to know where you are 24/7, but is it so hard to fucking text me where you’re fucking going?”

“Sorry.” Hyunjin mumbles.

Jinyoung lets out an exasperated noise before spinning on his heel and leaving the living room.

“Hyung-”

The door to Jinyoung’s room slams, rattling all the photos on the wall.

Hyunjin’s shoulders sag. _Seungmin hates me, hyung hates me… _He sighs at Mr. Tuan, who’s just giving him this very deep frown. _Even Mr. Tuan hates me._

“I’m sorry you had to see me and your brother like that.” Mr. Tuan says quietly.

“No, I’m um,” Hyunjin grimaces. “I’m glad hyung’s dating again.”

“We’re not dating.”

“Oh.”

Seungmin had expected the police station’s holding cell to be less comfortable, but it’s just as comfortable as a classroom. He’s had years of practice at sitting in a classroom without getting bored out of his mind, so time passes pretty quickly.

It starts to worry him, because time is passing too quickly. He doesn’t know how long he’s been in there, because he doesn’t have his phone and he can’t see a clock outside.

He assumes it’s dinnertime when an officer comes in through the door, because his stomach’s starting to grumble.

“Your parents arrived.”

Seungmin had hoped it would just be his sister, but he figures _they_ had to be called, since he’s a minor and all. Anyway, he’s braced himself for the worst. _“The worst” here being Mom breaking into hysterics like the Z-lister reality star she is, and Dad threatening to bury the precinct in lawsuits and bar every officer from promotion until they let me free._

Seungmin stifles a yawn. “Are they coming in here or-”

“They…” The officer seems to have difficulty putting the words together in her head.

_Oh. Dad definitely threatened them. Poor lady, _Seungmin thinks.

“They requested we keep you for as long as we’re allowed.” The officer says. “They’ll return to pick you up tomorrow.”

Seungmin coughs, partly because his throat’s gone dry and partly because he’s just choked on thin air. “_Pardon me_?”

“You’ll be staying here for the night.” The officer says. “Someone’s already shown you where the bathroom is, I hope?”

“Well, yes, but-”

“Your parents left money to buy you dinner, so we’ve already sent someone out to get a burger-”

“Wait, Officer, I don’t understand!” Seungmin waves his hands to silence the policewoman.

“What don’t you understand?” The officer asks.

“You mean my parents came, but they _didn’t want to pay my bail?_”

“Well, I couldn’t say that they _didn’t want to_, perhaps they couldn’t-”

“Officer, I am _sure_ my parents could pay my bail.” Seungmin crosses his arms, feeling disgusted with himself for even saying that. “Are you sure they were my parents?”

The officer says their names and gives Seungmin a very brief, clinical description of them. She dwells for some time on Seungmin’s mom’s bright orange Hermes bag, which makes Seungmin groan and sink in his seat. “Yeah, that’s them.”

“Is there anything else you need, Mr. Kim?”

Seungmin sighs. “No, thank you.”

The officer nods politely and turns to go. Then she stops at the door and gives Seungmin a sympathetic look. “I don’t know anything for sure, obviously, but I think they probably won’t wait for tomorrow morning to pick you up.”

Seungmin fixes the officer with the kindest skeptical look he can muster. “What did they say exactly? Why don’t they want to bring me home?”

The officer’s face grows pale. “Well- It’s not like I-”

“What did they say?”

“That… That they want you to learn your lesson.”

Seungmin slouches over until he can rest his face on the table in front of him. The metal surface is cool on his hot cheek.

“What you did was very irresponsible and not well-thought through, young man,” The officer says gently. “But I hope you know that I, as a mom and a part of the force, don’t think this is the right way to punish you for it.”

Seungmin blinks hard, and the tears start pooling on the table.

“I’ll come back with your dinner.” The officer says. “And some pillows and a blanket.”

“Thank you.” Seungmin manages to mumble out.

The officer nods politely and leaves the room.

Seungmin tries to take a deep breath, but he chokes up and starts crying loudly. He doesn’t care anymore. The security camera in the corner of the room is the only one watching anyway.

_Earlier_

Changbin doesn’t get up when he hears his parents come in. He knows they just came from a meeting with Vice Principal Bae, and whatever they talked about, he doesn’t want to hear it.

So he lays still as stone, listening to his dad switch on the TV while he and Changbin’s mom argue about something.

Changbin shuts his eyes, like he’s done sporadically for the past couple of hours in desperate attempts to fall asleep.

There’s a faint knocking on his door. “Changbin? Are you awake?”

Changbin opens his eyes.

He doesn’t say anything, but the door creaks open anyway. Now that he knows his room’s just a modified laundry area, he notices the way the door isn’t perfectly aligned with the frame, which isn’t perfectly aligned with the plywood wall.

“Changbin?” Changbin’s mom takes a careful step into Changbin’s room.

Changbin closes his eyes again, pretending to be asleep. But he knows his mom’s too smart for that shit, so he says, “Yeah?”

“We just got home.”

“Okay.”

Changbin’s mom sits at the foot of Changbin’s bed. “Your vice principal’s a bitch.”

Changbin almost smiles. “Yeah.”

“But she came around eventually.”

Changbin looks at his mom, but her heavily made-up face isn’t giving anything away. “What do you mean?”

“They won’t be filing a case against you,” Changbin’s mom breaks into a proud smile. “And you can still graduate with honors.”

Changbin sits up with a frown. “H- How?”

“I told her that there’s something wrong with you and we’re taking you to see a doctor about it.” Changbin’s mom purses her lips. “Which we are.”

“W- Wait, I don’t understand.” Changbin notices his dad come in and lean against his slanted doorframe. “Dad, what’s going on?”

“We’re taking you to your mom’s brother.” Changbin’s dad says.

Changbin looks back at his mom, who’s got a sour look on her face. “But I thought-”

“I know what I’ve said about my brother, and I stand by it.” Changbin’s mom says tensely. “But he’s the only psychiatrist I could think of who won’t gossip about you to the people here.”

“Doesn’t he live all the way in _Seoul_?” Changbin frowns.

“Yes, he does.” Changbin’s dad says.

“Pack enough clothes for a week.” Changbin’s mom says. “We’re leaving in half an hour.”

Changbin doesn’t know what to think anymore. “W- What? _Now_?”

“Yes.”

Changbin stands at the end of the train station, watching the sunset. They’ve installed four rows of railings on the balcony here, which upsets him, because he can guess why.

A muffled announcement comes over the station’s PA system. Changbin glances back at his parents, who haven’t moved from their seats. _Guess it’s not our train, then. _

Changbin leans on the railing. The station’s pretty high up, but it’s on the other side of the city, and all you can see from this lookout are the shiny glass buildings of the business district.

Changbin’s mom starts calling him, so he slings his backpack over one shoulder and makes his way towards the train. There was a time when he was known in school as the Trains Kid, because all he talked about all day was trains. He’d been so excited when they’d finally extended this line to their city, and had bugged his parents to take him on the new train for _months_ after this station opened.

_“We don’t have any reason to take that train.”_ His mom had said. _“We don’t have anyone to visit.”_

That had been twelve years ago, and this is his first time on this train. The white paneling has gone yellow, and the seats look a little dusty, but that doesn’t stop Changbin’s heart from skipping a little beat when the train starts moving.

“Watch our bags.” Changbin’s mom says. “I’m going to take a nap.”

“Okay.” Changbin looks at his dad, who’s already dozed off with his mouth wide open.

Changbin watches out his window as faintly purplish fog rolls in over the business district. He wonders which one of these shiny new buildings is Felix’s. _I wonder if he’s finished this part of the city on Minecraft._

_It’s not like I can ask him now, _Changbin thinks sadly.

He pulls out his phone, bringing up Felix’s channel from his history. He hasn’t watched anything other than Felix’s livestreams in the past couple of months, so it’s not hard to find. He puts his earphones on and turns the volume up a little bit.

_“Heya everyone,”_ Felix in the video grins up at his webcam. _“It’s ya boi, Felix. Hope you guys are having a great day… I mean, night. Whatever it is over there.”_

Felix breaks into self-conscious laughter, covering his mouth with his hands. _“God, I’m so stupid. What are you guys still doing here? Watch something else!”_

Changbin finds himself smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Beta’s note:** nothing but respect for STAR PITCHER Mademoiselle Rose. Jeongin whomst I dunno he?? Also, changlix crumbs
> 
> **Rice's note:** felix is officially bin's kpop emotional support boy, i don't make the rules... also i know that you can't just leave your kid at the police station if you don't wanna pick them up, but please continue to suspend your disbelief for the sake of the plot, good people of ao3. thanks again for all the kudos, comments, and support ❤❤❤ can't believe we reached 30 chapters but HERE WE ARE


	31. #ParkHyunjinCANCELLED

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternately titled, Parks and WRECK

Hyunjin waddles out of his room, frowning. He can’t smell breakfast. He stumbles to the kitchen half-asleep to find that there is, in fact, no breakfast.

He looks at the clock on the wall. _It’s almost 10. Is hyung sick?_

He waddles back up the hallway to his brother’s room. He knocks timidly on the door a couple of times. “Hyung?”

He presses one ear to the door. He can’t hear anything.

He knocks again. “Hyung? Are you sick?”

The door opens a crack, but it’s not his brother who steps out.

“Mr. Tuan?” Hyunjin frowns.

“’Morning,” Mr. Tuan yawns, rubbing his nose on the back of his hand. “Jinyoung doesn’t want to talk to you, but he also doesn’t want you to burn the house down, so like…” He lets out an exasperated sigh. “I guess I’m making breakfast.”

“I know how to cook eggs.” Hyunjin offers.

“Oh, that’s great.”

“In the microwave.” Hyunjin adds.

Mr. Tuan blinks at him for a few moments.

Hyunjin lowers his head. “I guess I’ll just set the table.”

“Yeah, go do that.”

Hyunjin looks at his brother’s closed door one more time. _Hyung’s_ mad_ mad. _

He follows Mr. Tuan to the kitchen. The animal shelter’s manager is wearing one of Jinyoung’s shirts and sweatpants, so they hang off on him kind of like they do on Hyunjin, but the pants are dragging on the floor more.

“You don’t have to cook breakfast.” Hyunjin says.

“You don’t know how, and your stupid brother doesn’t want to, so what are we going to do? Starve?” Mr. Tuan scoffs, rifling through the Parks’ pantry. He leans out of the cabinet to give Hyunjin a hard look. “You’d better apologize to him.”

“I already did, but he didn’t want to accept it.” Hyunjin pouts.

“Typical.” Mr. Tuan rolls his eyes. “Where do you keep the cooking oil?”

“Here.” Hyunjin pulls out a formerly-Coke-bottle filled with a cloudy brownish liquid.

“No.” Mr. Tuan says flatly, poking the bottle away with a wooden spoon. “Let’s be civilized. Where’s the unused oil?”

“I don’t know. Hyung hides it.”

“Fucking Park fucking Jinyoung,” Mr. Tuan mutters, squatting to shuffle through the lower pantry shelves. “Fucking cheapshit broke moron Park fucking Jinyoung.”

Hyunjin watches in concern as the animal shelter manager pretty much crawls into the cabinet under the kitchen sink.

“A-ha!” Mr. Tuan clambers out of the cabinet with half a cobweb in his hair. He triumphantly lifts a half-empty bottle of vegetable oil.

“Oh.” Hyunjin nods. “So that’s where it is.”

“Get me four eggs,” Mr. Tuan says, as casually is if they were in the shelter and he were asking Hyunjin to feed the dogs. “And some milk, soy sauce, sugar, and pepper.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I’m going to teach you how to cook an omelette,” Mr. Tuan says, pulling out a big metal bowl. “So you don’t go hungry every time your temperamental dumbass brother’s in a bad mood.”

“Oh.” Hyunjin gives the animal shelter manager a deep bow. “Thank you, Mr. Tuan.”

Mr. Tuan starts laughing. “You two are hopeless.”

Seungmin punches in the code to his apartment – his _sister’s_ apartment, as his mom had corrected him on the car ride here. Seungmin sighs as he opens the door.

He finds his sister slumped over on the couch, her phone still in one hand. “Noona.”

Jimin sits up, wiping her mouth off on her sleeve. “Wha- Where- Seungmin!”

She jumps to crush him in a bear hug.

“Noona, I’m f-”

“Jimin,” Seungmin’s mom says, stepping into the apartment carefully, like it’s covered in moss and she’s afraid of slipping in her six-inch heels. “Go help Seungmin pack his things.”

Jimin frowns. “What?”

“He’s coming back to live with us.” Seungmin’s mom’s lips pucker like she’s just sucked on a lemon. “Hurry up, I have an appointment at the parlor at 11.”

Jimin opens her mouth like she’s about to say something, but Seungmin takes her by the arm before she can spit out a single word.

Seungmin closes the door to his room behind them. “I’ll just pack enough clothes for the week. They’ll be tired of me in that time, anyway.”

“Are you sure?” Jimin asks. “_Her Majesty _seems pretty serious.”

Seungmin gives her nickname for his mom a half-smile. “No, you know how they are, they always say stuff and never follow through.”

“But they actually did it this time, didn’t they?” Jimin’s brow creases with worry. “They left you at the police station-”

“They were probably just too proud to go back on their word in front of the entire station.” Seungmin mutters, unzipping the suitcase stuffed under his bed.

“But Seungminnie, what if they’re serious-”

“They don’t give enough shits about you or me to be that serious.” Seungmin starts dumping random clothes from his closet into the bag.

Jimin squats and starts trying to lay Seungmin’s clothes out flat, ironing out the creases with her hands. “Seungminnie, what if-”

“Noona, I’m fine. I don’t need your help.” Seungmin says sternly. Then he takes a breath and says, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to… I didn’t get much sleep.”

“No, I get it.” Jimin’s lower lip wobbles. She pats one of Seungmin’s cheeks. “Don’t try _too_ hard to piss them off, okay?”

“What’s the worst they can do? Cut me out of their will?” Seungmin scoffs, dumping a handful of underwear on top of his clothes.

“That’d be worse than you think, Seungmin,” Jimin says, one hand on the doorknob. She doesn’t look back at him when she says, “It’s very hard not to have money.”

Seungmin stops throwing clothes into his suitcase for a moment. “I’m sorry, noona, I didn’t mean-”

Jimin gives him a small smile. “It’s okay, Seungminnie, I know. You’re just tired.”

“You won’t end up like your mom.” Seungmin says. “I’ll make sure of it.”

“Thank you, Seungminnie, but there’s not much you can do while you’re on their bad side.” Jimin says, turning the knob. “I’ll keep Her Majesty busy, so please fold your clothes properly.”

“Yes, noona.”

Jimin has never been good at stopping herself from crying.

“What’s wrong with you?” Her Majesty asks, giving Jimin another of her trademark sour looks. _The woman could sell sour tape._

“Nothing, I’m just tired.” Jimin says, tugging off a paper towel to dry her eyes. She turns back to her stepmom with a bright, forced smile. “Do you want anything? Coffee?”

“I don’t drink instant coffee.”

“I have a French press.” Jimin says tensely.

“No, thank you.” Her stepmom curls her cherry red lips into a practiced smile. “I’ll have coffee later while I get my hair done.”

Jimin nods. _I would rather throw my beloved French press out the window than lend it to you, anyway, snake bitch._

“Would you like to come with me?”

Jimin turns to her stepmom slowly. _Is she joking? Is this her idea of a prank? The fuck?_

“Pardon?” Jimin asks out loud.

“Would you like to have your hair done as well?” Her stepmom asks. “It looks very dry.”

Jimin touches one of her locks. It’s crispy as a Cheeto, but she would never admit that to Seungmin’s mom. “Oh no, thanks, it’s fine.”

“Really? It doesn’t look fine.”

Jimin argues with herself internally. _Do I sell out and let her buy me a keratin treatment, or be a person of integrity?_

Someone rings the doorbell before she can make up her mind.

“Are you expecting anyone?” Her stepmom asks.

Jimin hopes it’s that hot classmate of hers in Criminal Law who’d borrowed her notes. _Maybe they’re here to pay me back with a date._ She walks over to the intercom and checks the camera. _That is most certainly _not _my hot classmate._ “Huh.”

“Who is it?” Her stepmom calls from the living room.

“Uh…” Jimin buzzes them in. “Come on up, I’ll leave the door open.”

“Thanks.”

“Seungmin, there’s someone here to see you.”

Seungmin hops off his suitcase, which he’d been sitting on to try to get it to zip shut. “What?”

The door to his bedroom opens.

“Uh, hi.” Hyunjin gives him a small, awkward wave.

Seungmin feels his forehead grow warm. “Get out.”

“I- I just wanted to talk- I mean, say I’m sorry-”

“Get. Out.” Seungmin pushes the other boy out and slams the door in his face.

“Seungmin,” Hyunjin says from the other side of the door. “I’m really sorry, just let me explain-”

“I don’t care.” Seungmin says, locking his door. “Can’t you see I’m busy?”

“Okay.” Hyunjin says timidly. “I’ll come back later. Or tomorrow.”

Seungmin sighs, leaning against the door. _Why does he have to be like this? How can I hate him when he’s like this?_

Seungmin unlocks his door and swings it open. Hyunjin jumps back in surprise.

“There’s no later or tomorrow.” Seungmin says. “I’m moving back in with my parents.”

Hyunjin’s eyebrows creep together in a mix of confusion and concern. “What? Why?”

“Because they think I’ve become some… _criminal_ from living away from them.” Seungmin scoffs. “So starting today, I’m back in their house, and I can’t go out to the shelter or anywhere else.”

Hyunjin’s frown grows deeper. “You can’t… go to the shelter anymore?”

“No, isn’t that what I just said?” Seungmin rolls his eyes. “Can you go now? I have a lot to pack.”

“Oh. Sorry.” Hyunjin mumbles, stepping backward into the hallway. “I’m really sorry, Seungmin. I should’ve gone to jail with you and stuff.”

Seungmin feels like he would’ve laughed at that if he had been any less pissed right now.

“No, I’m glad you dodged that mess.” Seungmin says. “But you know what I _really_ hate_?_”

Hyunjin stares at him. “N- No.”

“I wouldn’t have cared if you had ditched me and the animals for, I don’t know, something _important_,” Seungmin’s voice is shaking. “But you _had_ to leave me for _another fucking party_!”

Hyunjin stands there, just staring at Seungmin without blinking, for such a long time that Seungmin’s face heats up.

“I wasn’t really at that party,” Hyunjin’s voice is low. “We were just looking for Tzuyu- I mean, Tzuyu had gone missing and we were looking for her all afternoon.”

“But you promised me.” Seungmin hates how lame he sounds. “You said you’d be there.”

“I’m sorry, Seungmin. I really am.” Hyunjin says. “But my friends-”

Seungmin blinks hard. “Am I not your friend? Why’d you pick them over me?”

“I didn’t pick them over you, it’s just that it was an emergency-”

“You could’ve texted.”

“I didn’t have time to.”

“There’s always time to text.” Seungmin says. “If the person is important to you.”

“Why are you being like this?” Hyunjin screws up his face. “Of course you’re important to me, Seungmin.”

Seungmin wants, he _really_ wants to fight Hyunjin, but Hyunjin’s making it impossible to pick a fight, and it’s frustrating Seungmin more than anything.

“But I’m not as important as your other friends?”

Hyunjin’s brow furrows deeper. “Am I not allowed to have other friends?”

“Of course you’re allowed you have other friends, you _idiot_.” Seungmin snaps. “But that doesn’t mean you can just throw me away-”

“When did I do that?”

“What do you mean? You’ve been doing it for months!” Seungmin throws his hands in the air. “I see you less than the shelter’s regular employees, for fuck’s sake!”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I thought you would just work it out on your own!” Seungmin says. “Because I thought you were a nice person, and you’d just realize that you were treating me like shit and you’d just stop doing it-”

“I don’t treat you like shit.”

“You do, Hyunjin, and if you can’t see that,” Seungmin huffs. “You’re a terrible person.”

Hyunjin crosses his arms. “I’m sorry all this bad stuff’s happening to you, but don’t blame me for it! No one told you to go out and get arrested and-”

“No one had to! Because I care about the shelter and the animals!” Seungmin straightens up and glares Hyunjin right in the eye. “What do _you_ care about, Hyunjin?”

Hyunjin scuffs one sock on the floor. “Maybe we should just talk some other time.”

“Weren’t you listening to me? There’s no other time.” Seungmin turns away to try to close his suitcase again. “Bye, Hyunjin.”

“I’ll still see you at games.” Hyunjin offers quietly.

“At the rate your team is going? I doubt it.”

Seungmin keeps tugging at the zipper, trying to get it unstuck, until he hears the door close behind him. He’s still pulling at the zipper handle when he hears muffled voices from outside, and the front door open and close.

“Hurry up, Seungmin, I’m going to be late for my appointment!” His mom calls from down the hallway.

Seungmin gives the zipper one last pull, but the handle snaps off. He throws the whole suitcase at the wall and sits on the floor, hugging his knees.

“Seungminnie?” Jimin knocks on the door.

“Go away.”

His sister opens the door anyway, padding over in her fluffy house slippers. She bends over the discarded suitcase. “Did you and Baby Park fight?”

“He’s an asshole.”

“I’m sorry, Seungmin.” Jimin rubs her little brother on the back. “I thought he was better than his brother.”

“I don’t care.” Seungmin drags the suitcase over and starts picking at the broken zipper handle. “I don’t care anyway.”

“Here, let me-”

“I can do it on my own!” Seungmin snaps at her, pulling his suitcase close to his chest.

“Suit yourself.” Jimin huffs, brushing her knees off as she stands up. “If you’re not out in a few minutes, your mom’s going to lose her fucking mind.”

“Let her.” Seungmin says. “There’s not much to lose there anyway.”

“Don’t press your face to the glass, everything here is filthy.” Changbin’s mom says, spritzing her hands with some sanitizer.

Changbin leans away from the taxi window just an inch, so he can still see the skyscrapers as they pass by. All the buildings here are so tall that they’re making him feel extra small, but it’s strangely comforting.

“Sit back, Changbin.” Changbin’s dad says.

Changbin leans back with a sigh. The taxi passes over a bridge, and Changbin, despite his parents’ grumbling, presses his face to the window, looking over the bridge’s giant, sweeping supports. Changbin’s heart flutters. _Maybe I’m gonna be Bridge Kid now._

“It’s a beautiful bridge, isn’t it?” The taxi driver grins at Changbin through the rearview mirror. “It’s amazing that people can make things like that.”

“Yeah. We don’t have any bridges like that back home.” Changbin says.

His mom nudges him. “Don’t make us sound like such country bumpkins. We have a bridge of our own.”

“It’s not this grand.” Changbin says, twisting in his seat to gawk at the bridge through the rear window.

“A bridge is a bridge.” Changbin’s dad shrugs. “They’re all the same.”

Mr. Tuan slows the car to a stop outside the Parks’ apartment building.

Hyunjin sits there waiting for Mr. Tuan to shut off the engine. “Are you not going down?”

“Me? Oh, no, I’ve got to open the shelter.” Mr. Tuan says, tapping the clock on the car’s dashboard. “I’m already late as it is.”

“Sorry I wasted your time.”

“It’s okay, you’re not a _waste_ of my time.” Mr. Tuan gives him a smile. “I’ll see you around at the shelter, then?”

“You’re not coming back to, uh,” Hyunjin’s cheeks warm up. “_See_ my brother?”

“Well, I’ve got to return his car sometime.” Mr. Tuan sighs, patting the steering wheel. “But I’m more likely to see you at the shelter than back here.”

“I’ll be there after lunch.”

“Okay.”

Hyunjin unclips his seatbelt. “Oh, and, uh, Seungmin would probably want you to know he can’t go back to the shelter anymore. His parents won’t let him.”

“I figured as much.” Mr. Tuan sighs again, more deeply this time. “He got a little carried away there, didn’t he?”

Hyunjin shrugs in reply. He heaves a deep sigh.

Mr. Tuan gives him a sympathetic look.

“Tell your brother that if he doesn’t forgive you this minute, I’m never going to speak to him again.”

“Mr. Tuan!” Hyunjin gasps. “I can’t tell him _that_!”

The manager starts laughing. “I know, I’m just kidding. I’ll see you later, then?”

“See you, Mr. Tuan.” Hyunjin tries to bow, but he just knocks his forehead into the dashboard. “Ow, uh, um, thanks for everything.”

“No problem.”

Hyunjin walks up the steps to their apartment slowly, humming a song that had been playing in Mr. Tuan’s car. He’s just reached out to unlock their apartment when the door opens.

Jinyoung looks more surprised than him. “Where’s Mark?”

“He’s going to work. He said he’ll return your car later.”

Jinyoung shuts his eyes and curses under his breath.

“Was he supposed to come back?” Hyunjin looks over his shoulder, but Mr. Tuan’s and the car are long gone.

His brother shakes his head. “Never mind, come in.”

Hyunjin’s eyebrows lift when he sees the steamed fish on the kitchen counter. “Is this for… eating?”

“Yes, Hyunjin, it’s lunch.” Jinyoung frowns at him.

“This is _fancy_.” Hyunjin grins. Then he notices his brother’s serious expression and sobers his own up. “I mean, thank you very much, hyung. I know you’re still mad at me, so this is really… Thank you.”

Jinyoung lowers his head and takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Hyunjin. I should’ve have gotten as mad as I did.”

“No, you had every right to be mad at me.” Hyunjin says. “I should’ve texted.”

“No, if you were looking for your friend, you probably didn’t have time to-”

“There’s always time to text.” Hyunjin murmurs. His shoulders sag. “Sorry.”

His brother pats him on the arm. “It’s okay, really.”

Hyunjin chews on his bottom lip. “Am I a bad person, hyung?”

“No, of course not.” Jinyoung scoffs. “Who told you that?”

“Seungmin.”

“Oh.”

Hyunjin pulls his mouth into a line. “Anyway, let’s eat. You’re probably hungry from waiting.”

“Not hungry enough for two entire fish.” Jinyoung says. “I thought Mark would be here.”

Hyunjin grimaces. “Was I supposed to uh, stop him?”

“No,” Jinyoung lets out a self-deprecating chuckle. “I’m just so bad at this.”

Hyunjin looks down at the steamed fish staring back at him. “Me too.”

Felix is humming a song as he strolls through one of the university’s orchards. The wind is crisp and cool around him, and he’s tempted to spread his arms and spin around in it, but then the university students would probably think, _What’s this weird high school kid doing here? _

_No, I probably seem like a middle schooler to them. _

“Felix?”

Felix jumps with a start. Then he starts waving at the figure jogging towards him. “Hey, Chan!”

“Yo! What are you doing here?” Chan asks, lifting one hand for a high five. The _wrong_ hand. He winces and lowers his hand, his face scrunched up in pain.

“Are you okay?” Felix frowns. “Shouldn’t you be resting your shoulder?”

“Yeah, but it’s really boring to rest at home.” Chan shrugs, wincing again as he does. “So I’m going to rest out _here_.”

“Huh?”

“I’m going to surprise Younghoon after his rehearsals today.” Chan says. “He thinks I’m resting at home.”

“Won’t he get mad that you aren’t?” Felix asks.

“Oh.” Chan makes a face. “He will, won’t he?”

“He’ll be glad to see you anyway.” Felix assures the senior, patting him on the un-injured shoulder.

Chan’s face brightens up again. “So, what’re you doing here?”

“I went with my dad to work.” Felix says. He notices the confused look on Chan’s face, so he adds, “He’s a professor here.”

“Oh, cool!” Chan grins. “I’ve never met your dad, have I?”

“No, I don’t think you have.” Felix says. _Only Changbin has._

“Your parents should come to the game tomorrow,” Chan says. “We’ll need the support.”

Felix’s stomach twists at the idea of tomorrow’s match. They’re up against the school that placed fourth last year, which wouldn’t have been so bad if they hadn’t been down two players. _And it’s Chan and Changbin at that. _

“You guys’ll do great.” Chan curls his hands into two encouraging fists. “You know our team, we always come in clutch.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll be there cheering for you the entire time.” Chan says, crossing his heart.

“No, you should probably rest so your shoulder-”

“But I’m the captain now. I’ve got to be there.” Chan’s ears suddenly burn bright pink. “I- I mean, while I’m standing in for Changbin, someone’s got to be there if he can’t.”

Felix hadn’t realized he was scowling until Chan had added that last part. “You shouldn’t look so happy to be taking this from Changbin.”

“I’m not happy about it, Felix,” Chan shakes his head aggressively. “Changbin’s my friend.”

“Well, act like it.” Felix immediately regrets saying that. _What’s gotten into you? Chan’s the nicest guy ever. He never wanted any of this to happen, either. _

“I just don’t know what’s happening to Changbin these days.” Chan sighs. “I never thought he would be the type to bully-”

“Honestly, Chan, how dense are you?” Felix wants to clamp himself on the mouth. _Stop this. Just stop. Felix. What the hell?_

Chan’s staring at him with a deep, concerned frown on his face.

Felix looks away, mumbling, “That guy was, uh, he’s had it out for me for a while now. Changbin was standing up for me. I shouldn’t have let him.”

Chan opens his mouth to say something when someone yells from down the street,

“BANG CHAN!”

Felix and Chan jump, turning around like fugitives who’d just heard a police siren. Chan’s boyfriend is marching up the sidewalk.

Felix has strong self-preservation skills. He ducks behind Chan.

“H- Hey, Younghoon!” Chan waves with both hands.

“Why are you not at home!” Younghoon says, smacking Chan on the arm that isn’t injured.

Chan bends over, whining like it’s injured _now_. “I’m keeping Felix company!”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Felix puts both hands up like someone’s got a knife pointed at him. “I told him to go home and rest.”

“Don’t bring Felix into this!” Younghoon flicks Chan on the forehead, and it makes this loud, curiously hollow sound.

“Ow, baby, why do you hate me?”

Younghoon laughs and squishes Chan’s face between his hands, tilting it up for a kiss. He seems to remember only after a few more kisses that Felix is standing right there. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… yeah.”

“It’s okay. I’m used to it.” Felix says, before he realizes how weird that probably sounds without context. “I mean, um. Ugh. I’m not weird, I swear.”

“Never said you were.” Younghoon laughs, sliding an arm around Chan’s waist. “Our rehearsals for the spring musicale are starting again in a few minutes. Wanna watch?”

“Am I allowed to?” Felix makes a face at himself. “I mean, it won’t be weird? Ugh.” He slaps himself in the face. “Stop it, Felix.”

“No, it’s fine, people are bringing their younger siblings in all the time.” Younghoon winks. “You’ll just have to pretend to be my little brother.”

“Oh, okay. I can do that.” Felix claps his hands together purposefully. “It’s me, _Kim_ Felix.”

Younghoon and Chan start laughing.

_Stop being weird, Felix, just stop!!!_

“Hello.”

“Hi.”

“How are you doing?”

“Fine. Thanks. You?”

“Fine.”

Changbin feels extra short craning his neck to look back and forth between his mom (tall) and his uncle (even taller) as they compete to give each other the shortest possible reply.

“This is Changbin.” Changbin’s mom says, putting her hands on Changbin’s shoulders.

“I guessed so.” Changbin’s uncle says, never breaking his robotic eye contact with Changbin’s mom.

“We’ll be going now.”

Changbin frowns up at his mom, who’s already turned, probably to catch another taxi. “Wait, what? You’re leaving me?”

“Yes.” Changbin’s dad pats Changbin’s backpack. “We’ve got to go back to work on Monday.”

“Behave yourself.” Changbin’s mom leans forward to plant a very formal kiss on the top of Changbin’s head. “We’ll come pick you up next weekend.”

“But-”

“Bye, Changbin.”

“Bye, Mom.” Changbin sighs. “Bye, Dad.”

Changbin’s dad just nods, turning to Changbin’s uncle to give him a curt nod. “Minki.”

“Dongho.” Changbin’s uncle says, returning the nod with animatronic grace.

Changbin stands on the sidewalk, watching his parents until their cab drives away down the street. _No, this isn’t a street. This is an avenue. _People huff in irritation at Changbin as they walk around him quickly. Changbin’s never felt more insignificant, and he kind of likes it.

“So, shall we?”

Changbin looks up at his uncle. He doesn’t usually judge people he’s just met, but his uncle looks too much like his mom for his own comfort. _Like Mom, but in actually fancy clothes. Which is horrific._ “Okay.”

“My clinic’s just on the fifth floor, so I don’t usually take the elevator,” His uncle says, holding the door to the building open for Changbin. “But we could if you want to, since you have a lot of stuff with you.”

“I’m okay with the stairs.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

Felix shifts around in his seat with… the only term he can think of is _righteous energy_. He looks to his left, but Chan’s fallen asleep against the wall. Felix looks back at the dance studio, where Younghoon and the rest of the cast of the spring musicale are blindly following their choreographer. _Who’s a hack. There’s no nice way to put it. _

Felix feels his soul crumble away a little every time the choreographer corrects someone who’d already been doing the routine properly, and compliments someone who’s barely muddling their way through.

The choreographer calls for a water break, and Felix leans back against the wall in relief. _No dancing means no more of this _criminal_ screwing this routine up. _

“You look bored.” Younghoon laughs, walking over to pick up his water jug between Chan and Felix. He grins at Chan, who’s snoring ever so slightly, then looks at Felix. “I know it’s not as exciting as _The Lion King_, but _Anything Goes _isn’t so bad.”

“Oh, no I think it’s a good musical.” Felix says. “My papa has this home video bootleg of the Patti LuPone 1987 revival that we watch every summer.”

“Does he?” Younghoon takes a gulp of water. “I think your papa and I could be friends.”

“Yeah, probably.” Felix shrugs.

The choreographer starts snapping his fingers loudly – _It has definitely _not_ been five minutes_, Felix thinks – so Younghoon puts his water bottle down again.

“What’s up?”

Felix blinks up at Younghoon. “What do you mean?”

“You’re looking at the choreographer like he ran over your puppy, Felix.”

“Well, he’s…” Felix presses his mouth together into a small, irritated H. “He’s not entirely _right_.”

“Really?” Younghoon asks, looking amused.

“Kim Younghoon!” The choreographer starts clapping loudly, frowning in their direction. “Chat with your brother later!”

“Wrong as in artistic license, different interpretation “wrong,” or straight up wrong?” Younghoon whispers, lifting one eyebrow curiously.

Felix shakes his head. “Straight up wrong. I don’t think he knows what tap even _is_.”

“Huh.” Younghoon nods slowly.

“Kim Younghoon! We’re not here to wait on you!” The choreographer barks out, as if the dance studio were the size of a football field.

“Hey Mr. Yoon,” Younghoon says, walking over calmly. “My brother says you’ve been teaching us tap wrong.”

Felix feels his soul leave his mortal body. _No. Younghoon. No. I thought we were friends. _

The entire dance studio spins, with the coordination of forty dancers, which they are, to look in Felix’s direction.

“Wuh- What’s going on?” Chan asks groggily.

“Your boyfriend is trying to get me killed.” Felix mutters under his breath.

“And what does your _little_ brother know about the routine?” The choreographer says, walking over at a painfully slow pace, his shoes clicking menacingly on the wooden floor.

_Jesus, if you listen to little atheists, _Felix shuts his eyes as he prays internally. _Please help a brother out. _

Felix, without opening his eyes, croaks out, “I’ve been doing tap for years.”

The choreographer coughs. “Excuse me?”

“I’ll show you.” Felix stands up, possessed by that righteous energy or cocaine or whatever it is. “Play the music.”

“What?”

“Play the song. From the start.” Felix says, giving his legs a stretch. He pulls his back out of the slight slouch it’s gotten used to, and stands up straight. Younghoon and the rest of the cast, with amused grins on their faces, clear him some space in the middle of the dance studio.

“What are you doing, Felix?” Chan asks, voice quivering with worry.

“_Patti LuPone_.” Felix rolls his shoulders. “Music please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This is the Patti Lupone version of Anything Goes, if you're interested](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M7z43oIt2GM)  
Although I think Felix could definitely pull off the [Sutton Foster revival's choreography](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3b5XRd15KM), though the recording of the tap sounds is so muddy it hurts my soul. HAHAHA I JUST LOVE TAP DANCE FOREVER AMEN


	32. 17 years of birthday presents pt. 1

“Changbin?”

Changbin blinks. He’s been looking out the window at the reflection of the building in the other building, and he’d gotten so mesmerized by it that he hadn’t heard what his uncle had said. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“I was just asking what you like doing aside from school?” His uncle says, scribbling on his iPad with a sleek stylus that matches it. “Extracurriculars, hobbies?”

“I play baseball.”

His uncle nods, then looks at him with his eyes raised. “Well, uh, I don’t know anything about baseball, I was a volleyball player when I was in high school. There are positions in baseball, too, right? What position do you play?”

“Third baseman usually.”

His uncle nods vaguely. “How do you like… third baseman?”

“It’s okay.”

“How about baseball? You find it fun?”

“It’s fine.”

“Okay, so on a regular school day, you go to school, then there’s baseball training in the afternoon, and then what?”

“I go home.”

“What do you usually do at home? Do you watch any series?”

“I cook dinner.”

Changbin’s uncle’s brow furrows just a little bit. “Okay. What do you and your friends do on weekends?”

Changbin stops to think about that. _Who are my friends? _“We used to watch movies.”

“_Used_ to?”

Changbin squirms around in his seat. He doesn’t like the way his uncle’s looking at him so intently, partly because Changbin just doesn’t like the laser-focused attention on him, and partly because his uncle looks so much like his mom that he’s panicking a little, though he knows for a fact that they’re two very different people.

“I don’t know what my parents told you, but I don’t need therapy.” Changbin says. “There’s nothing wrong with me. I just got really angry, and my mom made up stuff as an excuse.”

“You want to tell me what happened?”

Changbin gives his uncle a skeptical look. “Mom didn’t tell you?”

“No, she didn’t.” His uncle says, with the most innocent look on his face. Changbin doesn’t believe it for a second.

“I got angry at this guy and hit him.”

“That’s all?”

“I don’t hit people usually, but this guy’s been bullying my friend for ages.” Changbin says. “But my friend’s not the type of person to stand up for himself. Enough was enough.”

“So you hit him?”

“I wasn’t really thinking about it, I didn’t plan it out or anything.” Changbin says. “It just happened.”

“You couldn’t control it?”

Changbin folds his arms. “It sounds bad if you put it that way.”

“Sorry.” His uncle scrawls something out on his iPad. “How would rather I put it?”

“Like I said. I just got really angry. Everyone gets angry like that sometimes.” Changbin says. “It’s normal.”

“Yeah.” Changbin’s uncle says. “But people deal with it differently.”

“I should have dealt with it better.” Changbin says. “I’ve learned my lesson. It won’t happen again. So I’m sorry for wasting your time, Uncle, but I don’t need a therapist.”

Changbin’s worried about how his uncle will react, but his uncle just hits the lock button on his iPad and puts the stylus away calmly.

“Okay.” His uncle says.

“What do you mean, _okay_?”

“Like you said, if you don’t need a therapist, we’d just be wasting our time here.” Changbin’s uncle shrugs.

Changbin frowns. “What? Shouldn’t you be trying harder to convince me I need this?”

“No, I’m not in the business of hard-selling myself.” Changbin’s uncle tucks the iPad away in his bag by the side of his desk.

Changbin shakes his head like he’s got water in his ears. “So what now?”

“Even if you’re not here as my patient, you’re still my guest for the week. What do you want to do?”

Changbin shrugs. “I don’t know.”

Changbin’s uncle sighs.

_I’ve only been with him an hour and he’s _already_ tired of me, _Changbin thinks.

“I’m actually your godfather, did you know that?” His uncle says after a long time.

Changbin studies his uncle’s face. _Is he bullshitting me? _“No.”

“Yeah, I was there when you were born.” His uncle pretends to gag. “Never want to see _that_ again.”

“I can imagine.” Changbin makes a face.

“I was your dad’s best man at the wedding, and they decided to make me your godfather when you were born.”

Changbin’s convinced his uncle’s making all this up. “Why?”

“Because I’m the one who got them together in the first place.”

Changbin can’t help but scowl. _So it’s _your_ fault._

“Your dad and I were classmates in med school-”

“W- Wait, _my dad_ went to _m-_ _med school_?” Changbin sputters out. “_My _dad?”

“Yes, he did.” Changbin’s uncle looks at Changbin with mild concern. “He didn’t finish, though, because uh, things came up and he had to take over his uncle’s auto shop business in the province.”

Changbin feels like someone had just hit him with a sledgehammer.

“Changbin? Are you okay?”

“No.” Changbin admits. _Why don’t I know this about my own dad? _

“You look pale,” Changbin’s uncle says, leaning in to look at Changbin’s face. “Have you had lunch?”

“Yes.”

“Let’s go out for some coffee, or a snack or something?”

Changbin shakes his head. “No thank you, Uncle, I’m fine.”

“Well, _I _want a coffee, and since you’re a minor, you’ve got to come with me.”

Changbin makes a face at his uncle. “That’s not how it works.”

“Sure, keep telling yourself that.” Changbin’s uncle’s already slinging his bag over one shoulder. “Let’s go?”

Changbin doesn’t know what else to say but, “Okay.”

_Is my uncle an actual psychiatrist or some kind of hypnotist? _

Felix slides into the last step, arms extended. With the music gone, the dance studio is frighteningly quiet. He looks around at all the people staring at him, feeling his entire face burning. “Uh, that’s it.”

Someone in the back starts clapping, and a few others join in until the choreographer gives them sharp looks.

“Isn’t that just what I was doing?” The choreographer asks.

“No, it most definitely was _not_.” The girl playing the lead says. She walks up to Felix. “How do you do that thing, when you turn around a few times but it doesn’t… yeah.”

“Oh, this?” Felix asks, hoping the move he does is right.

“Yeah, that one.”

“Well, you kind of have to lean on your right leg so the left one can go out like this, then you shift your weight like…” Felix does a half-spin, with his left sneaker landing with a muffled pat on the wooden floor. “It makes more sense when you’re wearing tap shoes.”

“Here, borrow mine.” Younghoon says, already untying the laces on his shoes.

“No, no, we’ve already wasted enough time.” The choreographer says gruffly. He shoos Felix away like a fly. “That was nice and all, but go back there and stay quiet for the rest of the practice.”

Felix nods and starts shrinking away towards the wall.

“Everyone, back to your places for the start of _Anything Goes_! Now!”

“I think Younghoon’s baby brother’s right.” The girl playing the lead says, not budging from where she’s standing. “I want him to teach us.”

Younghoon turns to the wall to try to stifle a chuckle.

The choreographer looks back at Felix, who’s retreated to his seat next to Chan. Then he looks back at the lead girl. “Sihyeon, you are excused from the rest of this practice until you fix your attitude.”

“Suits me.” Sihyeon says with a careless flip of her hair over her shoulder. “Who else is coming with me to fix their attitude?”

A few rogue snickers erupt from the cast, while the rest watch in horror as Sihyeon brushes, sweeps, and taps her way over to Felix.

“Could I borrow you for an hour or two, cutie?” She asks him.

Felix’s mouth bumbles through a few odd syllables.

“No way am I letting you kidnap my brother without me,” Younghoon says, walking over. The clap of his shoes on the floor is deafening.

“Who else wants to leave?” The choreographer barks out. “Who else doesn’t care about this production enough to take it seriously?”

Three others turn away from the choreographer and follow Younghoon, Sihyeon, a confused Felix, and an utterly bewildered Chan out of the room.

Changbin’s staring out the window at the building across the park when his uncle returns to their table with two iced coffees.

“That building’s owned by a bank, forgot which one.” Changbin’s uncle says. “It’s supposed to be shaped like a fish, or a coin, or something like that.”

“I like it.” Changbin breathes reverently.

“Here’s your drink.” Changbin’s uncle laughs, placing Changbin’s glass in front of him. “Do you like architecture?”

Changbin frowns at his uncle over their glasses. _Is he still trying…_

“I was just asking, okay? As a tour guide, not a therapist.” Changbin’s uncle raises his hands innocently. “There are a couple other weird buildings in this area that you might like to see.”

Changbin narrows his eyes suspiciously.

“Honestly, Changbin, if you don’t trust me, this is going to be a very long week.”

Changbin stirs his iced coffee with the straw, which seems to be made of paper. _What a stupid thing to make. It’s just going to dissolve in the drink._

He goes back to studying his uncle carefully. The more time he spends forced to look at him, the less and less he looks like Changbin’s mom. _Which is a relief_.

“I like bridges better than buildings, actually.” Changbin says slowly, like he’s ready to jump back out case his uncle reacts to a single word. “I only saw the blue one on the way here. Could we go see the others?”

“Well, that’s…kind of… a complete waste of gas.” Changbin’s uncle says, with a thoughtful sip of his coffee.

“You’ve missed 17 years of birthday presents, Uncle.”

Changbin’s worried his uncle is going to chew him out for being disrespectful, but the latter starts laughing.

“So I have,” His uncle says. “After you finish that, we’re going on a tour of every damn bridge in the city.”

Changbin smiles.

“And one two three four, ra-cha-cha-ta,” Felix mumbles out, marking every movement with another random syllable. He’s so focused on following the music blasting out of Sihyeon’s tiny phone that he doesn’t notice someone else standing by the door of the tiny dance studio until after the music finishes.

Felix gasps. “Dad! How long have you been there?”

Felix’s dad gives him a shit-eating grin and a shrug.

“Professor Park!” Sihyeon runs over with her arms wide, going in for a hug. “Remember me? I took your Philo 101 class last semester!”

Felix’s dad dodges out of the way in a very Neo from The Matrix way. “Nice to see you too, Sihyeon. How could I forget you.”

“Awww, Professor Park.” Sihyeon pretends to pout. Then she kicks Younghoon with one tap shoe. “I _knew_ there was no way someone _this_ coordinated could be your brother.”

“Screw you.” Younghoon says.

“What’s going on here?” Felix’s dad asks.

“Felix is teaching them how to dance the song from their musical.” Chan says proudly from his seat at the side of the room.

“Is he now?” Felix’s dad lifts both eyebrows sky-high. “When your papa hears about this-”

“He won’t!” Felix blurts out. “Because you won’t tell him.”

“Fine.” Felix’s dad mimes locking his lips shut and throwing the key away. “I won’t.”

He still looks so proud that Felix wants to dig a hole in the ground and calmly bury himself alive. “_Dad_ stop looking at me like that.”

“I’m just happy to see you dance again,” Felix’s dad says, wrapping an arm around Felix shoulders and ruffling his hair.

“You used to dance?” Chan asks with a frown.

“Yeah, before.”

“Recitals and everything?” Younghoon asks.

“Yeah.” Felix’s cheeks are burning. “Recitals and everything.”

“What’re you doing on the baseball team, then?” Younghoon makes a face.

“Hey, our team needs him.” Chan nudges his boyfriend.

“I _like_ baseball.” Felix says, sounding more defensive than he’d wanted to. “And I’m out of practice, I don’t really dance all that well anymore.”

“Are you kidding me?” Sihyeon, who’s been silent all this time, scoffs. She reaches for a flyer on the wall and rips off a piece of it. She scribbles something onto it before handing it to Felix.

Felix’s dad intercepts the paper. “Sihyeon, my son is literally _fifteen_.”

“Yeah, _duh_, I know, I’m not hitting on him or anything, Professor Park.” Sihyeon snorts at the idea. She snatches the paper back and hands it straight to Felix. “This is the performing arts school I got kicked out of when I was your age.”

“Oh.” Felix frowns. “I’m sorry to hear th-”

“Whatever, I’m so over it. I was kinda shit.” Sihyeon shrugs. “But if you’re _that_ good without practice, I think you should give it a shot.”

Felix looks down at the paper. “This is in Seoul.”

“Yeah, it was kind of a huge reach for me, but maybe not for you.” Sihyeon closes his hand around the piece of paper. “Promise me you’ll think about it?”

“I…” Felix looks back at his dad, who looks away immediately, then at Chan, who’s frowning. “I’m sorry, but I really like where I am now.”

Sihyeon frowns. “But-”

“Sihyeon, their team’s like a cult, basically,” Younghoon says, patting his costar on the shoulder. “There’s no separating any of them from the others.”

“_Hey_,” Chan protests, but he can’t seem to think of anything to follow it up.

“All I’m saying is, just think about it. I think it’d be good for you.” Sihyeon looks up at Felix’s dad hopefully. “Right, Professor Park?”

Felix’s dad shrugs. “Dunno.”

“I’m with Sihyeon on this one.” Felix’s dad says, as soon as they climb into the car.

“You just said you _dunno_, Dad.” Felix frowns at his dad.

“I was being diplomatic in front of that Chan guy.”

“_That Chan guy_ was our captain.” Felix says. “I mean, _is_. It’s a mess.”

“Okay, my two cents on this is that you should try it out. There’s no harm in auditioning.” Felix’s dad says as they pull out of the university parking lot. “You miss every shot you don’t take, right? Michael Jordan?”

“Who’s that?”

“Oh god.” Felix’s dad groans. “Anyway, just try out.”

“And what if I get in?” Felix wrings his seatbelt. “I’m going to have to live away from you guys?”

“Well…” Felix’s dad says, trailing off.

“I don’t want to live away from you guys.” Felix says quietly.

“Maybe you won’t have to.” Felix’s dad says. “I got an offer from a university in Seoul. I could take it.”

Felix frowns at his dad, who’s starting to sweat despite the car’s air conditioning. “Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

“I told your papa about it, and he said… that I should think about taking it.”

“Then what about me and Papa? What happens to us?”

“Your papa can find projects anywhere, and they probably need more security stuff over there than over here.” Felix’s dad says, eyes uncharacteristically trained on the road. “And if _you_ get into that performing arts school-”

“You promised, Dad.” Felix says, crossing his arms. “No more moving.”

“It might be better for us.”

“No more moving.” Felix says again, more firmly this time. “I like our city. It’s home.”

Felix’s dad looks away from the road for just a split second to look at Felix. “Okay.”

Changbin’s uncle lives in this huge apartment with three rooms – _just as big as Felix’s, _Changbin thinks, though he doesn’t know why he thinks that – but he ignores the rooms and goes straight for the huge wall of glass in the living room.

Changbin’s heart nearly stops when he sees the blue bridge below. He presses his nose to the glass and watches the tiny cars zoom across the bridge in the dying sunlight. 

“The view’s much nicer in the morning.” Changbin’s uncle chuckles.

Changbin mumbles agreement. Then he realizes how silly he must look and steps back. There’s a teardrop-shaped smudge on the glass where Changbin’s nose had been. “Oh, sorry.” He covers a fist with the edge of his sleeve and tries to wipe it off.

“Don’t worry, the cleaning lady will deal with that.” Changbin’s uncle says. “What do you want for dinner?”

Changbin straightens up. “I can cook dinner. You don’t have to.”

“Do I look like I cook dinner?” Changbin’s uncle laughs. “I was just going to order food.”

“Oh.” Changbin says. “In that case, uh, whatever you want, Uncle.”

“Chicken it is, then.” Changbin’s uncle says, reaching for something that Changbin’s just realizing is a phone.

“What up, it’s ya boi Felix,” Felix waves at the camera. “Thanks for deciding to spend your Saturday evening with me… Or morning. Or whatever time it is where you are, whatever!”

Felix laughs at himself.

“Anyway, uh, here’s the city so far,” Felix says, flying over his world with a self-satisfied grin on his face. “I’ve actually got quite a lot done huh. Well, it has been a year since I started this, and I don’t do much else so…”

Felix lets out a self-conscious giggle.

“Yeah, anyway, I’d say I’m probably 80%? 85% done with the city?” Felix says. “All that I have left are mostly the east side of the city here, but I didn’t know much about this part of the city until recently.”

Felix stops at a blank, flat part of the city with little else but streets mapped out on it. He can see the actual streets in his head, because they’d been around there so many times in the past few months.

“This is uh, this is where the person I like lives.” Felix ignores the sudden burst of comments. “I haven’t talked about them lately, have I? Well, actually, I haven’t talked _to_ them lately so...”

Felix looks up at the camera for a moment. Then he laughs. “They’re not watching this, so don’t worry about it, guys.”

He looks back at the monitor. “Anyway, let’s just get to it.”

“Changbin?” Changbin’s uncle knocks gently on the door to the guest room. “Changbin?”

When Changbin doesn’t reply, he pushes the door open. “Changbin, what-”

“Nothing!” Changbin says, scrambling off the bed to pick his phone up off the floor. “I just dropped my phone!”

Changbin’s uncle frowns, but starts backing out of the room. “Uh, good night, then.”

“Goodnightuncle.” Changbin says quickly, burrowing under the duvet.

Changbin’s uncle raises his eyebrows, but says nothing as he closes the door on his way out.

Changbin puts his earphones back in and frowns at his phone.

_“So uh, this is, uh, not sure what floor they live on, but I’m just gonna leave this brand-new laptop here for them,”_ Felix smiles right at the camera. _“You’re welcome, haha. I know you’re not watching this anyway.”_

Changbin nearly drops his phone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bold bitch bit off way more than she could chew – I don’t know anything about baseball OR dancing LMAOOOOOO
> 
> This is now a Changbin x bridge au
> 
> Beta’s note: @ Changbin blessngs wait for yoooooUUooouuuu


	33. “Tempting, but not tempting at all.” – Kim Yugyeom

_Over a year ago_

“I have good news,” Coach Im says, taking a wary step back when Chan, Jisung, and Changbin huddle a _little_ too closely around him.

“Yeah?”

“Yes, Coach?”

“Are we a go?”

“Well,” Coach Im’s optimistic smile falters. “Yes and no. They said we can join this season-”

“YEAAAAAAAAAH!” Changbin yells, pumping a fist in the air.

“Ah, eh, uh,” Coach Im pats Changbin sympathetically on the shoulder. “Let’s calm down a little bit, huh, Changbin?”

“What is it, Coach?” Chan frowns.

“We need one more guy for the team.” Coach Im says. “By Friday.”

“_Friday_?” Changbin’s eyes widen to saucers. He sighs. “It’s ‘cause Yugyeom and Bambam quit, isn’t it?”

“We can do it, Coach.” Chan says, putting an arm around Changbin’s shoulders. “Leave it to us.”

“Yeah, this is the lowest-ranked school in the entire district,” Jisung says. “There are tons of stupid people out there we can-”

“Wait, why do they have to be stupid?” Chan frowns.

“We don’t want a stupid person on our team.” Changbin says.

Jisung lets out a loud snort. “Bit too late for that, my dude.”

_Present_

“What do you _mean_ we can’t play?” Jisung squawks. He turns to Coach Wang. “Coach, this ain’t right, it ain’t-”

“We’re one man short of the minimum.” Coach Wang mutters through gritted teeth. “It’s against regulations.”

“I can play.” Chan offers, unzipping his hoodie to reveal the neon pink jersey underneath.

“No you _can’t_.” Coach Wang and Coach Park say at once. Then they look at each other in surprise and confusion.

“Who’s missing?” Hyunjoon frowns, craning his neck to look over the huddle of Weevils.

“Lee Felix.” Dongpyo replies in a small voice.

“Felix? Did he say anything about not coming in today?” Coach Park frowns.

“No, I didn’t…” Jisung looks around, but the rest of the boys are just shrugging violently. “We didn’t hear anything.”

“I told everyone last Friday how crucial it was that everyone show up for today’s match, since we’re two guys down,” Coach Wang says. “He was there last Friday, wasn’t he?”

“Yes, Coach.” Chan says.

“So where is he now?”

_Over a year ago_

“He’s joined the volleyball team.” Changbin reports to Chan while the latter takes some books out of his locker.

“Bambam? The volleyball team?” Chan’s eyebrows lift. “Good on him.”

“No, _not_ good on him! Bad on him!” Changbin huffs. “We can talk some sense into him.”

“Uh, yeah, sure we can give it a shot.” Chan nods.

“Let’s go, Cap!”

Bambam’s trying to stuff a fat gym bag into his skinny locker when Chan and Changbin flank him on either side. It’d be threatening, if they weren’t stretching their neck all the way just to look up at him. “Hey guys, what’s up?”

“We heard you got into the volleyball team,” Chan says. “Congrats.”

“Oh, thanks.” Bambam beams.

“No! Not congrats!” Changbin pouts. He rests his chin on Bambam’s shoulder. “Come on, dude, we just need one more guy to compete.”

Bambam blinks blankly at Changbin. “What?”

“They won’t let us join the championship until we get one more guy.” Chan explains.

“Oh, crap.” Bambam makes a face. “I’m sorry, guys, but I don’t think I can handle two different varsities…”

Changbin sighs, giving Bambam a defeated side hug. “It’s okay, dude, we get it.”

“Congrats again on getting into the volleyball team.” Chan says, with two thumbs up.

“Yeah, congrats.” Changbin echoes sadly.

“Sorry I couldn’t help you guys out,” Bambam says patting Changbin on the head. “Maybe Yugyeom can come back? I don’t think he’s gone to another sport yet or anything.”

“No, I haven’t tried out for another sport.” Yugyeom says, lining up his pencils on his desk by length.

“So,” Jisung says, sitting on the edge of the desk, which sends the pencils rolling off. “You can still come back to us, right?”

Yugyeom picks up each pencil one by one before looking up at Jisung with a sarcastic smile. “No, sorry, no can do.”

“Come on, we’ll give you left outfield back, you won’t even have to do much.”

“Tempting, but not tempting at all.” Yugyeom says, arranging his pencils on the other side of his desk, away from Jisung’s butt.

“Why not?”

“Because I would rather die of unhealthiness than waste my time on a team that can’t even beat _middle school kids_.”

Jisung crosses his arms, thinking really hard of something he can say to that. His brain comes up with absolutely nothing.

“It’s a shit team, Jisung, and you know it,” Yugyeom sighs. “It’s nice to see varsities on your college applications, but if your team has lost every single game – even the ones against fucking _middle schoolers_-”

“They were tough middle schoolers!” Jisung protests.

“No, they weren’t. We just suck.” Yugyeom says.

“No, maybe you’re just a bitch.”

“Maybe,” Yugyeom shrugs. “Fact still remains: Our team is absolute shit and I’m not wasting my time with it anymore. Bye, Jisung.”

Jisung slithers off the desk with his shoulders slumped in defeat. “Bye.”

“Hey! You! Boy with bowl cut!”

“Not you! Other boy with bowl cut! Yeah!”

“Wanna join the baseball team?”

“We’ll pay you-”

“No we _won’t_, Jisung, fuck’s sake!”

Changbin sinks back down into his seat. He, Chan, and Jisung have been sitting at their team’s signup booth for the past half hour, trying to get just one (1) guy to sign up. Their booth is the only one left, because all the other varsities have filled up their teams for the year.

A shrill bell chimes from somewhere down the hallway.

“Oh crap, I have class.” Jisung says, checking the time on his phone.

“Me too.” Chan says, squinting at the clock on the wall. He turns to Changbin. “What about you?”

“No, mine starts an hour from now.”

“You don’t have to man the booth while we’re gone,” Chan says, patting both of Changbin’s shoulders like a boxing coach.

“Yeah, I doubt you’d get anyone at this time anyway.” Jisung says.

Changbin sticks his chin out at Jisung. “Is that a challenge?”

“Sure, wanna bet?” Jisung slaps both hands onto the table, his cheeks puffing up grimly. “20k you won’t be able to get a single signup in the next hour-”

“You guys are _not_ betting on this.” Chan groans.

“Sure.” Changbin holds out a hand for Jisung to shake. “20k I _can_ get a single signup in the next hour.”

“Deal.”

“Deal.”

“_Guys_.” Chan groans again, but he’s got a smirk on. “I think Changbin’ll win this one, though.”

“What?” Jisung makes a face. “_Why_?”

“’Cause I’m attractive as _hell_.” Changbin says, resting a hand confidently under his face to frame it. Chan starts snickering and raises a hand for a high five, which Changbin slaps with gusto. Jisung only rolls his eyes and collects his things from under the table.

Changbin’s ten minutes away from losing 20k, and he’s starting to sweat through to his hoodie. It seems like everyone else who’s got a free period at this time, or at least everyone who’s passing in front of him right now, is a goddamned _girl._

_Not that I have anything against girls. I like girls. _

_Well, not all girls. _

_Girls are okay. _

Changbin’s just about to pull his wallet out to scrounge up 20k to pay Jisung when he sees someone stroll down the hallway, his steps timed to whatever song he’s listening to with his giant headphones.

“Hi,” Changbin says, waving with his entire arm to get the guy’s attention. “Hey! Hey dude!”

The guy just keeps going straight ahead, a goofy grin on his face as he hums and bounces along to his song.

“HEY!” Changbin yells.

The guy jumps in surprise, looks at Changbin with saucer-wide brown eyes, then spins on one heel and starts running away.

“HEY! WAIT!” Changbin vaults over the signup booth and starts running after the guy. “STOP! WAIT!”

Changbin’s one of the team’s best runners (admittedly, not a very high bar), but this guy is _fast_. “STOP RUNNING!”

The guy hangs right on the first opening, then another right, then another, until they both end up panting in front of the baseball team’s signup table.

The guy’s face is red all the way to his ears, and not from all that running.

“Oh. Is this where you sign up for the baseball team?” The guy asks sheepishly.

Changbin stops gulping in air to look up at him. Up close, the guy is definitely a freshman. _Actually, he looks 12. _“Yeah?”

“Oh.” The guy scuffs a sneaker on the tiled floor. “Um, can I sign up?”

Changbin gapes at him. “I love you.”

“Oh.” The guy’s already red face turns a brighter color. With the freckles scattered over his cheeks and nose, he looks like a strawberry. “Um, thank you?”

“You just made me a rich man.” Changbin says, clapping the guy on the shoulder with one hand and giving him the pen with the other. “Just sign up here.”

“Okay, thanks. I mean, you’re welcome. I mean…” The guy takes the pen with a gentle bow before scribbling his name down on the blank signup sheet. He returns the pen to Changbin with an uncomfortable grimace. “Thank you.”

“No, thank _you_,” Changbin glances down at the signup sheet before smiling up at the kid. “Lee Felix.”

Lee Felix only smiles back for half a second, before he starts running off again.

Changbin snickers. _What the hell?_  
  


“So, it seems like we’ve finally gotten that last guy we needed.” Chan says, clapping his hands together. The rest of the team follow suit with loud, sweaty-palmed applause. He looks around the entire baseball field, his smile slowly growing more and more uneasy. He nudges Changbin gently with one elbow. “Yo, dude, where is he?”

“Uh…” Changbin whirls all the way around looking for the kid.

“Where is he?” Changbin whispers again.

“He’s uh, he’s like, this much taller than me,” Changbin holds his hand some space above his head. “And he’s pretty cute, he’s got a lot of freckles like, all over-”

“You sure you didn’t just _invent_ a freshman?” Jisung says, narrowing his eyes.

“Would I _invent _the name Felix?” Changbin makes a face at him.

“I want my 20k back.”

“Too late, I already-”

“HI! SORRY I’M LATE!” Felix comes running into the baseball park, duffel bag flailing off one shoulder. He whirls around, probably looking for a coach. He doesn’t find one, so he decides to stop in front of Chan and give him a deep bow. “I’m so sorry, Cap, my dad and I got lost looking for this place-”

“It’s okay, dude, it’s chill.” Chan assures him with an awkward pat on the back. “We’re glad you could make it anyway.”

“Welcome to the team, lil guy!” Jisung yells.

“That’s real bold coming from _your_ short ass.” Hyunjoon says.

“I’m still taller than Changbin.” Jisung sticks his tongue out.

“Hey.” Changbin glares at Jisung.

“Okay, okay,” Chan says, using a shoulder to wedge himself between them. “Let’s start with the drills, guys. I’ll show uh…” Chan shoots Felix an apologetic look. “Sorry, what’s your name again, dude?”

“Felix.”

“Oh. Cool.” Chan gives him both thumbs up. “Anyway, I’ll take care of Felix, you guys go do your thing.”

“Weevils on three?” Changbin suggests.

Chan grins in agreement. “Weevils on three! One! Two!”

“WEEVILS!”

“Goddammit, Hyunjin.”

_Present_

The vein on Coach Wang’s neck look just about ready to burst as he argues with the umpire, the volume of their argument doubling with every reply.

“THERE’S NO SUCH RULE!” Coach Wang yells at the umpire. “YOU CAN’T JUST INVENT RULES SO MY TEAM DOESN’T PLAY!”

Chan turns to Coach Park for help, but the latter is just looking out at the far end of the field.

The gate at the far end of field is swinging, because someone’s just shoved it open, and now they’re sprinting across the field in all their neon salmon pink glory.

“Felix!” Chan gasps excitedly.

“FELIX!” Jisung screeches at the rest of the team, who turn to the field, see Felix running towards them, and start howling like a mix of monkeys and wolves.

Felix runs right between Coach Wang and the umpire, dipping into a very deep bow. “SORRY I’M LATE MY DAD CRASHED THE CAR INTO A TREE-”

“Holy shit.” The umpire says.

“Are you okay?” Coach Wang asks.

“Yeah, it was a small tree.” Felix assures them, nodding aggressively. “Dad and I are fine. But the tree isn’t doing so great.”

Both Coach Wang and the umpire frown while they process that for a minute.

Dongpyo squeezes between them to tackle Felix in a hug. Felix has just started to hug him back when all the other guys come in for a group hug.

Coach Wang folds his arms. “Guys, we don’t have time for-”

“Just let it happen.” Coach Park says, tugging the other coach into the group hug.

“No, I don’t-”

“WEEVILS ON THREE!” Chan yells. “ONE! TWO! TH-”

“WEEEEEVILS!”

“Dammit, Jisung.” Coach Wang says, barely holding back a smile.

> _Send felixverse a message!_

Changbin rolls over on the ultra-soft king-sized bed in his uncle’s guest room. It’s like lying on clouds, and it’s so comfortable that he’s been lying on it in his underwear for the past ten minutes, too lazy to get up and put clothes on.

_Dear Felix, _Changbin types.

He makes a face and clears it.

> _Hey Felix,_
> 
> _I don’t know if you got my valentine letter I kinda just stuffed it into your locker_

Changbin shakes his head and deletes the entire line. It sounds too sad.

> _Hey Felix, _
> 
> _I know we haven’t had the time to talk in a while, but I just wanted to thank you for_

Changbin watches the cursor blink for a while. Then he deletes the whole line.

> _Hey Felix,_
> 
> _This is gonna sound kind weird please don’t be weirded out but I like you a lot_

Changbin groans, deletes everything, then tosses his phone to one side of the bed.

“Hey Changbin, you ready to go?”

Changbin sits up, seeing his pretty-much-naked reflection in the huge vanity mirror. “Uh, give me a minute, Uncle, sorry.”

“Sure thing.”

Changbin scrambles to his backpack, fishing out a fresh t-shirt and jeans. He pulls his clothes on and sniffs the hoodie he’d used the day before to see if it’s still good.

He shrugs. It’s passable.

He grabs his phone from the edge of the bed and is just about to stuff it into his pocket when he notices the blank message on the screen. He closes the whole app and opens another one.

He’s just hit the send button when his uncle knocks gently on the door.

“Changbin?” His uncle says. “Don’t want to rush you or anything, but my appointment’s at 11.”

“Yup, yup, I’m here.” Changbin opens the door and gives his uncle two thumbs up. “Let’s go?”

His uncle looks him up and down. Changbin looks his uncle up and down.

“Oh.” Changbin says, looking down at his outfit. “Were we supposed to dress fancy? Mom didn’t tell me to bring anything like that.”

“No, it’s okay.” Changbin’s uncle says. “I’m still behind on 17 years of presents, right?”

“Oh, no, you don’t need to-”

“Please, Changbin.” Changbin’s uncle laughs as they step out of the apartment. “It’s rude to say no to presents.”

“Is it?” Changbin frowns. “In that case, uh, gift away, Uncle.”

Changbin’s uncle laughs so hard he presses the wrong number on the elevator. “Oh crap.”

“Your boyfriend’s really just gonna…sit there?”

“Yeah, he’s a pretty sedentary creature.” Mina kicks her skateboard up and tucks it under one arm as she walks over to Chanhee, who’s sitting under a nearby tree. She kicks him gently in the shin. “Hey. Are you bored already?”

Chanhee looks up from Mina’s phone, which he’d borrowed to watch stuff while she skates. He looks a little shell-shocked.

“What’s up?” Mina asks, sitting down on the ledge next to him.

Chanhee hands her the phone in worrying silence. _Chanhee? No loud side comments or opinions? _

Mina takes the phone from him and looks at it. He’d been watching a replay of one of Lee Felix’s livestreams (using her account, obviously), one that she hasn’t seen yet. “Oh, is this new?”

“He’s building the east side now.” Chanhee says, scrubbing through the video as he hands her one of his airbuds.

“Holy crap, he’s nearly done.” Mina says, proudly watching the kid fly over the rest of his Minecraft city. He stops at a familiar group of buildings. “Hey, isn’t this where Changbin lives?”

Chanhee just stares at her.

_“This is uh, this is where the person I like lives.”_ Felix says in the video, his cheeks burning pink all the way to his ears. _“I haven’t talked about them lately, have I? Well, actually, I haven’t talked to them lately so...”_

Mina slaps Chanhee on the arm. “Dude. DUDE. _DUDE_!”

“That’s not it.” Chanhee says, pausing the video and scrolling down to the comments.

> _Spearbin: _thanks for the laptop, Felix ❤

Mina screams so loud that everyone in the skate park stops and stares at her.


	34. 17 years of birthday presents pt. 2

“Seungmin, there’s someone looking for you.” Coach Yoo says, leaning into the locker room. At this point the boys have stopped scrambling away when they see her come into the lockers.

Seungmin frowns. _It can’t be Hyunjin. He’s got his own game halfway across the city today._

“I wouldn’t keep her waiting.” Coach Yoo says in a sing-song voice as she walks away, her voice echoing in the hallway outside.

Seungmin’s frown doesn’t let up.

One of Seungmin’s other teammates grumbles. “It’s not fair, why does Seungmin get to be rich, smart, _and_ have girls looking for him?”

“Word of advice?” Minho zips his duffel bag up with a scoff. “Don’t even compare yourself to Seungmin.”

The other guy flips him the bird.

Minho pats Seungmin on the shoulder. “See you on Monday, don’t get arrested again-”

Seungmin glares at him.

“Bad joke, sorry.” Minho lowers his head. “See you, Seungmin.”

“See you, Cap.” Seungmin zips up his own bag and slings it over one shoulder.

Seungmin finds the girl in question leaning on the wall outside, humming some song he doesn’t know. It’s one of Hyunjin’s new friends, the smaller one. _Chaeyoung? Is her name Chaeyoung?_

Either way, Seungmin is _not_ in the mood to see him.

“Seungmin! Hey!” The girl he assumes is named Chaeyoung says, skipping over. “Hi!”

“Hi.”

“Congrats on your win,” Chaeyoung says. “My brother’s on the Woollim team, they got _crushed_, haha.”

“Thanks.”

“Uh, yeah, anyway,” Chaeyoung says. “I just wanted to thank you for covering for Tzuyu last Friday.”

Seungmin says in the driest voice he can muster, “It was nothing.”

“No, it was _huge_, Tzu and I have no idea how we’re going to ever repay you for it,” Chaeyoung says, squeezing one of Seungmin’s arms. Seungmin wants to flinch away, but he doesn’t want to be rude to someone in the middle of _thanking_ him. “You and Hyunjin are like, the most decent guys ever.”

Seungmin figures he scowls, because Chaeyoung looks up at him curiously. “Thanks.” He says, hoping she’s satisfied and leaves soon.

Chaeyoung doesn’t seem to be, because she keeps talking. “You see, I wanted our school’s student council to support the protest, but Tuzyu didn’t want to because of dumb stuff school rules whatever, and we fought about it and then I couldn’t find her and it’s been like, _hours_, right? So I call everyone and no one else has seen her, but Hyunjin’s the only one who offers to help me look for her.”

Seungmin’s shoulders sag a little bit. _Of course he is._

“So Hyunjin and I were looking _everywhere_ for her, and she wasn’t at home, she wasn’t at Kang Minhee’s party, she wasn’t in the mall or anywhere else, but Hyunjin didn’t wanna give up so we really went around the _entire_ city the _entire _afternoon.”

“She was at the protest.” Seungmin says quietly.

“Yeah! Can you believe her? And she didn’t fucking _text_ or anything,” Chaeyoung says, letting out an exasperated groan. “Anyway when things got ugly she found us at my place and she told us all about what happened and what you did for her, and Hyunjin was just like, _Yeah_, _that’s Seungmin, he’s the best. _He was trying to call you to see if you were okay, but your phone couldn’t be reached or something.”

Seungmin realizes he didn’t check the missed call log on his phone after he’d gotten it back from the police station, since he’d assumed they was all from Jimin or his parents.

Chaeyoung looks up at Seungmin in mild concern. “You okay, Seungmin?”

“Yeah.” Seungmin says, shaking his head like it’s waterlogged. “I’m just tired.”

“Congrats again on the game.” Chaeyoung says with a wide grin.

“Thanks.”

“Matty,” Jae says, tapping his husband on the arm. “I think I broke Felix.”

Matt stops scooping mayo into his salad dressing to glower at Jae. “I _told_ you that you had to drive more responsibly-”

“It’s not my fault some old lady was feeling fucking _bold_ on a red light-”

“Do we need to take him to the hospital?” Matt asks, resting his spoon on a sheet of tissue.

“I dunno.” Jae says. “Come and see.”

They walk over to Felix’s room and knock on the door.

“Felix?” Matt asks gently. “Can we come in?”

A low grunt comes as reply.

They push Felix’s door open a crack and find the boy lying on the floor still in his dusty uniform, staring at his phone.

“See?” Jae whispers.

Matt ignores him and leans into the room. “Hey, Felix, wanna help me with the kani salad?”

Felix lets out a string of unintelligible sounds, staring at his phone without blinking.

“Felix?” Matt asks again.

“I told you he was broken.” Jae hisses.

“Shh.” Matt hisses back.

Felix suddenly drops his phone facedown on the floor. He hops to his feet and executes a near-perfect pirouette.

“Felix?” Both of his dads ask, taking a wary step back.

Felix pulls into another spin, grinning all the while. Then he jumps and huge both his dads, pecking them both on the cheeks.

“W- What’s up, lil guy?” Matt asks.

“Nothing.” Felix replies brightly, squeezing between them to jete joyfully into the living room.

“Good morning, Mr. Choi,” Says the woman at the front desk of… whatever they’d walked into. “Mr. Kim’s just finishing a previous appointment. Perhaps you’d like to take a seat until he’s done?”

“Yes, thank you.” Changbin’s uncle gestures for Changbin to take a seat on the brown leather couch sandwiched between two monstrous tropical plants.

Changbin sits down, surprised that he doesn’t sink all the way. He looks around. There’s no sign or anything on the front doors of this place, and there’s a huge industrial fogged glass and brass divider behind the front desk, blocking his view of the rest of the room.

He’s just about to ask his uncle what he’s brought him to when a tall man in all black and a leather half-apron strides in from behind the divider. “Minki!”

“Hi Mingyu,” Changbin’s uncle gets up and gives the other man a hug.

“You haven’t been back in so long.” Mr. Kim scrunches his nose as he looks Changbin’s uncle over disapprovingly. “You look like shit.”

Changbin tries desperately to see what this other guy’s seeing. His uncle looks fancy as _hell_ in his grayish suit.

“Yeah, I’ve been so busy lately.” Changbin’s uncle says. “I made this appointment for myself, actually, but my nephew came to stay with me for a week and…”

Changbin’s uncle motions for Changbin to come over. Changbin does, though he’s not sure why. He wonders if there were any drugs in their chicken last night.

“Oh god.” Mr. Kim says when Changbin steps under the incandescent light hanging from the ceiling.

“Mingyu, this is my nephew, Changbin,” Changbin’s uncle says. “And Changbin, this is my good friend and barber, Kim Mingyu.”

_Oh. So this is what fancy barbers look like. _

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Kim.” Changbin says with a bow.

“Nice to meet you too,” Mr. Kim says with a chuckle. He pokes Changbin’s uncle in the arm. “How come _he’s_ polite?”

“He’s from outside of the city.” Changbin’s uncle says.

Changbin frowns. _The place we live in _is_ a city, right? Right?_

“Oh. Explains the hair.” Mr. Kim says, craning his neck to try to see around the back of Changbin’s head.

“What’s wrong with my hair?” Changbin asks.

“Nothing, actually, it’s nice and thick,” Mr. Kim says with an approving nod. “It’s your barber I have problems with.”

“Oh. My mom cuts my hair.”

Changbin’s uncle snorts. “Looks like we _all_ have problems with Changbin’s barber, then.”

Changbin frowns at him, but he doesn’t get to ask what he means by that, because two of Mr. Kim’s assistants whisk him off to wash his hair despite his protests that he’d just washed it the day before.

Felix retreats to his room as soon as he finishes his lunch and locks the door. He picks up his phone.

> Felix: Hi

Felix yells as soon as he hits send and throws the phone across the room and onto his bed.

“Felix?” His dad asks, knocking on the door.

“I’m fine! I just stubbed my toe!” Felix calls back, changing into fresh clothes before he flops onto his bed.

> Cap: Hey

Felix picks up the nearest pillow and bites it to muffle his screams.

> Felix: How are you?

Felix watches the dots bounce around while Changbin types out a reply.

He rolls over onto his side, watching the dots.

He flops onto his belly, still watching the dots. _Is Changbin writing a fucking novel?_

> Cap: I’m good actually. Kinda.
> 
> Felix: Why kinda? :/
> 
> Cap: I’m with my uncle right now.
> 
> Felix: Oh
> 
> Cap: It’s not bad, he’s just forced me to get a haircut…

Felix lifts both eyebrows to the _moon._

> Felix: Pics pls

“What are you doing?” Changbin’s uncle asks, frowning at his nephew, who’s been tilting his phone at weird angles for the past minute or so.

“Uh, I’m no good at selfies.” Changbin makes a face and holds his phone out to his uncle. “Could you please take a photo for me?”

“Why? Did your mom ask for photos? Does she not trust me _that_ much?” Changbin’s uncle asks. “Why’d you tell her-”

“I didn’t.” Changbin says, probably more forcefully than he’d intended. “It’s for my friend.”

“Oh.” Changbin’s uncle nods. “Sure, give me the phone.”

“_Wait_!” Mr. Kim screeches, skidding over with a pair of scissors in one hand. “I’m not finished yet!”

“Huh?” Changbin looks at his reflection. “It looks fine.”

Mr. Kim lets out a sound like a cross between a whinny and a sigh. “It’s fine, but we’re going for _perfect _here.”

“O- Okay.” Changbin doesn’t dare move once the scissors come close to his face.

Mr. Kim motions to one of his assistants with one hand. “Mimi, can you get some clay for the boy, please?”

“Oh, no thank you, I don’t-”

Mr. Kim frowns down at Changbin until the latter falls silent. He knows better than to piss off the guy holding the scissors.

“Thanks.” Changbin mumbles, closing his eyes while the barber puts something on his bangs.

“There.” Mr. Kim takes the cloak off Changbin.

Changbin keeps his eyes shut as the barber comes in with a fluffy brush to brush all the little hair bits off his clothes.

“Mingyu what have you _done_.” Changbin’s uncle gasps.

Changbin peeks at his reflection with one eye. “Is it bad?”

_Oh. _

Changbin hardly recognizes the guy looking back at him. He’s wearing the same slightly smelly hoodie and baggy jeans, but he actually looks… _good. I look good. _

A smile creeps onto Changbin’s face. “Thank you, Mr. Kim.”

“No problem, kiddo,” Mr. Kim says, patting Changbin on the back. “Just tag me, @kmgstyle, when you post on Instagram.”

“I don’t have an Instagram.”

Mr. Kim frowns. “You _what_?”

“It’s okay, I’ll put him on mine, Mingyu,” Changbin’s uncle says, handing the barber a stack of bills that Changbin thinks is rather thick. “I’ll be back for myself in a week or so.”

“You’d better.” The barber says. “Mullets don’t suit you.”

“I noticed.” Changbin’s uncle says, flicking the hair over the back of his neck. “Come on, Changbin.”

“Okay- I mean, wait, could I have a photo for my friend?” Changbin asks, wagging his phone.

“Of course-” Changbin’s uncle starts, but the hairdresser cuts in.

“Leave it to me.” Mr. Kim says, taking Changbin’s phone with two hands like it’s made of bone china. “What kind of friend is this? A friend you need to brag to, or a friend you’re flirting with-”

“Mingyu.” Changbin’s uncle frowns.

“I, uh,” Changbin makes a face, trying to keep his face from reddening. “It’s just- It’s my best friend. I want to look nice?”

Changbin’s uncle looks at him with his eyebrows raised.

“Ok, gotcha,” Mr. Kim calls an assistant over. “Can you switch the lights over here and here off, and dim this one just a little bit. Yeah, like that, thanks.”

Felix’s phone buzzes. He’d been playing Call of Duty with Jeongin (they were losing), but the notification’s from Changbin.

_Sorry, Jeongin, bye. _Felix thinks, exiting the app without another word.

> _Cap sent a photo._

Felix clicks the photo.

Changbin knows his uncle has been giving him weird looks since they got into the car, but Changbin’s too busy waiting for Felix to reply to mind his uncle right now.

“You like your haircut?” Changbin’s uncle asks, when they stop at a red light.

“Yes, thank you very much.” Changbin replies with a polite nod, still staring at his phone. _Felix has seen the photo. Why is he not saying anything?_

_Is it bad?_

“What’d your friend say about it?”

“Nothing yet.”

“This friend of yours, are they-”

“You’re doing it again, Uncle.” Changbin says firmly.

“Right.” Changbin’s uncle nods. “No therapist.”

“Yup. No therapist.” Changbin agrees, just as the light turns green.

Changbin can feel his uncle bristling with curiosity as he checks his phone again.

> _4 new messages from Felix_
> 
> _Felix: _CAP
> 
> _Felix: _CAP WHAT THE F UCK?
> 
> _Felix: _WHAT HTE FUCK??????
> 
> _Felix: _💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

Changbin snorts. He realizes his uncle’s looking at him, and turns his phone’s screen towards the car door.

“Keep your eyes on the road, Uncle.”

“Okay.”

Jae closes the door to their bedroom shut behind him. “Matty.”

Matt rubs his eyes groggily. He’d lain down for a post-lunch nap, and he was just about to fall asleep. “What is it?”

“I think Felix is crying now.” Jae says.

Matt gets up in a flash. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know-” Is all Jae’s able to say before his husband runs out of the bedroom.

Matt knocks on Felix’s door. “Felix? Hey, Felix?”

Felix opens the door a crack. Sure enough, his eyes are drenched.

“Felix,” Matt gasps, opening his arms for a hug. “What’s wrong?”

Felix shakes his head, laughing. “Have you ever seen someone so beautiful that you just started crying?”

Matt blinks at him. “No, I don’t think so.”

Felix wipes a tear away. “That’s too bad for you, Papa.”

Matt closes the door to their bedroom shut behind him.

“Well?” Jae asks.

“I think Felix is doing drugs.”

Jae shrugs. “Well, we’ve _all_ tried-”

“No, we- I mean, _I_ haven’t.” Matt frowns at his husband. “Have you?”

“Dude. Matthew. My _dude_.” Jae laughs. “I was stoned when I met you.”

“I don’t think this suits me.” Changbin calls out from inside the fitting room.

“Let me see!” His uncle calls back.

Changbin looks at his reflection in the mirror for a second before stepping out. He walks quickly over to the couch where his uncle’s parked himself with all his shopping bags (his uncle’s, obviously).

“See?” Changbin asks, holding his arms out in a T-pose.

“No, don’t stand like that, when do you ever do that outside a yoga class?” Changbin’s uncle laughs. “Stand normally, Changbin.”

Changbin stands ruler-straight.

“I think it looks nice.” The saleslady standing next to Changbin’s uncle says. “It’d be nice for a date.”

“I don’t date.” Changbin says.

“What? Why not?” The saleslady frowns. “Why are _you_ not dating? You’re so- _You know_.”

“Madam, you are here to help us find a nice jacket for my nephew, not flirt with him.” Changbin’s uncle chuckles.

“I just mean, what’s wrong with kids these days?” The saleslady says, crossing her arms defensively. She looks at Changbin, who’s been edging closer and closer to the fitting room in the past couple of seconds. “You don’t like it?”

“I think it’s nice, but it’s a bit too… _formal_ for me.” Changbin says. “Sorry.”

“What’s formal about a leather jacket?” Changbin’s uncle asks.

“He means it’s for old people like you,” The saleslady says to Changbin’s uncle.

“Excuse me, who’s paying for this jacket?”

The saleslady laughs as she walks back to the racks to look for something.

“Can I change back to my normal clothes?” Changbin asks, looking down at the soft button-down shirt and fitted jeans that his uncle had picked out for him to “see how the jacket really looks like”.

“Sure. Are we getting the shirt and pants, too?”

“Um,” Changbin walks over to his uncle and lowers his voice so the saleslady doesn’t hear. “Like I said, Uncle, I don’t need you to buy me any new clothes. Thank you for offering, but-”

“Do you like the way you feel in them?”

Changbin thinks about it for a moment. “Yes, but it’s too much, Uncle, I’m already staying at your place for a whole week for free.”

“I’m your uncle, Changbin, not an Airbnb.” Changbin’s uncle says. “I’m not about to charge my sister’s son for staying in a guest room I hardly use anyway.”

Changbin chews on his lip. “You don’t even like my mom.”

“What?” Changbin’s uncle raises his eyebrows innocently. “When did I say that?”

Changbin frowns. “Well, you never said it out loud, but every time she comes up in conversation you make this _face_-”

“Seo Changbin.” His uncle says sternly. Changbin jumps from surprise. He’d not heard his uncle use that tone in the entire day they’d been together, and it sounds alarmingly like his mom’s usual tone.

“Sorry.” Changbin lowers his head.

“I was just going to say that I don’t need any therapist behavior from you, either.” Changbin’s uncle says with an amused smile. “Did I scare you?”

“You sounded like my mom.”

“Sorry about that.” Changbin’s uncle makes a face like he’d just stepped on a piece of gum.

“See? There you go again!” Changbin says, pointing at their reflection in the wall mirror of the boutique.

His uncle turns to look at his reflection, then laughs. “I do make a face, don’t I?”

“Yeah.”

“Look, I know she’s your mom, so I don’t want to say anything bad about her to you, obviously,” Changbin’s uncle says slowly. “But she and I don’t have the best relationship.”

“Uncle,” Changbin makes a face this time. “I think that’s pretty obvious. Since I’ve never met you until now and everything.”

“Oh.” Changbin’s uncle laughs. “Right.”

“At least you can avoid her because she’s not your mom.” Changbin says.

Changbin’s uncle cocks his head to one side with a curious look on his face, but the saleslady cuts in before he can ask Changbin anything.

“Here, I think this one’s more age-appropriate,” The saleslady says, holding up a black leather jacket that, to Changbin, looks pretty much like the one he’s already wearing.

Changbin must not look very convinced, so the saleslady sighs. “It’s got _this_.”

She reaches into the collar of the jacket and pulls something out. It’s this floppy thing made of charcoal gray knit, like the ribbed cuffs of the jacket.

She pinches the top of the floppy thing and holds it up. “It’s a hood.”

“Oh, wow.” Changbin nods. _A leather jacket hoodie. We truly live in the future._ “That’s… interesting.”

“Just try it on, would you?” The saleslady laughs, holding the jacket out to Changbin by the hanger.

“Okay.”

> _Cap: _Sorry, my uncle and I went out for dinner.
> 
> _Felix: _It’s ok
> 
> _Felix: _What’d you have for dinner? c:
> 
> _Cap: _Hot pot!
> 
> _Felix: _Oooooooooooooo
> 
> _Felix: _I want hot pot now :c
> 
> _Cap: _I wish you could come over here.
> 
> _Felix: _Why? Where are you?
> 
> _Cap: _My uncle’s. It’s in Seoul somewhere. Don’t know where exactly.

Felix frowns. _Did his parents send him away because… he got suspended?_

He rolls over in bed so he can type more comfortably, but Changbin sends him another message before he can say anything

> _Cap: _Do you want to call?

Felix looks around his room, which is dark save for the glowing stars and dinosaurs on the ceiling. _Now? He wants to call me _now_? I probably look like SHIT!_

> _Felix: _No sorry can’t I’m already lying down and the lights are off and stuff

Felix shuts his eyes. _You can always turn the lights back on, stupid. Stupid stupid stupid-_

> _Cap: _I meant just a voice call.
> 
> _Cap: _I’m lying down too and I probably look horrible…

Felix takes a deep breath, already typing with righteous anger.

> _Felix: _You?
> 
> _Felix: _Look /horrible/????
> 
> _Felix: _No way

“Hi? Can you hear me?”

Changbin smiles. Felix’s voice is fuzzy over the phone, but it’s still unmistakably him, and just hearing it makes warmth rush through his chest like he’d just taken a shot of liquor. “Yeah. Can you hear _me_?”

“Yeah, I can.” Felix says. “How are you doing?”

“I’m…” Changbin shrugs, even though he knows Felix can’t see it. “I’m good. What about you?”

“I’m good too.”

There’s a long pause after that, where all either of them can hear is their soft breathing. It’s such a long silence that they both start laughing.

“So much for a call,” Felix says.

“Yeah, we’re just wasting… internet. Or whatever.” Changbin grins.

There’s another pause.

“We lost the game today.” Felix says. “By a _lot_.”

“Oh.” Changbin frowns. “That sucks. What happened?”

“Well, I was kinda late, because my dad crashed the car into a tree-”

“WHAT? ARE YOU OKAY?”

Felix holds the phone an arm’s length away. “Ouch, Changbin.”

“Sorry.” Changbin says. “But are you okay? How’s your dad?”

“We’re fine, but the car and the tree we hit got pretty messed up. He had to get it towed to your dad’s shop.”

“Oh.”

“Uh, anyway, the whole team just wasn’t feeling it today. Hyunjin was having a rough time, so Coach Wang put Jisung in, then Jisung got all nervous too, so eventually Juyeon was the one pitching.”

“Whoa? Juyeon?”

“Yeah! He’s actually pretty good, I think they’re gonna start training him for pitcher next week,” Felix says, and he sounds like he’s smiling. “Are you gonna be back then?”

“No, I’m uh, _out_ for two weeks.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, Felix, it’s not your fault.”

“It kinda is.” Felix’s voice wavers. “You wouldn’t have had to hit Junhyun if it weren’t for me.”

Changbin purses his lips. He hugs his pillow tighter, holding the phone closer to his ear until he can hear Felix’s breathing again.

“I regret hitting him. I shouldn’t have, no matter how mad I was.” Changbin says. “But I also regret not doing anything earlier. I knew he and his friends were… yeah. But I didn’t do anything about it. I’m sorry, Felix.”

“It’s okay, Changbin, you didn’t _have_ to do anything about it.”

“No, I did. You’re my…” Changbin licks his lips, which have gone dry. “I shouldn’t have let that go on if I knew about it, whether it was you or anyone else. I was just afraid that I would lose my captaincy or honors or fuck, I don’t know.”

Felix is quiet on the other end for a long time before saying, “But you did.”

“Yeah, I did. Well, I think my mom was able to argue her way to saving my honors,” Changbin says, feeling sick to his stomach as he says it. “But everything else, even my friends… Does Chan still think I’m a bully?”

“That’s Chan’s problem, not yours.”

Changbin lays on his back, looking up at the crisp white ceiling. His room back home, for all the cracks and water stains, at least gives that much more entertainment when he can’t sleep.

“It’s just so _lame_.” Changbin says.

“What is?”

“That I was so afraid of losing stuff like that, that it stopped me from doing the right thing.” Changbin says. It hurts him a little to say it out loud, but the weight on his chest feels just a bit lighter, too.

“You’re a good guy, Changbin. Other people wouldn’t even do anything, even after _years_ of-”

“My mom lied to Vice Principal Bae to keep me from getting a major offense on my record.” Changbin admits. He’d thought he would feel absolutely awful finally saying it to someone, but because it’s Felix, and maybe because he can’t _see_ Felix’s reaction, it’s not so bad. “She told the vice principal that I had mental health issues and they were sending me to a therapist. And I didn’t stop her, because I don’t want to graduate with something like that on my record. I’m actually glad she did it. Would you believe that?”

Felix’s end has gone very quiet.

_Nice one, Changbin. The _second_ someone says they like you, you have to go and make them hate you._

“I guess you must be sleeping.” Changbin says. “So goodn-”

“I’m not.” Felix says.

“Well anyway, I’m sure you don’t want to talk to me anymore.” Changbin says, and Felix doesn’t correct him. “So I think we should stop here. Good night, Felix.”

Felix clears his throat on the other end.

“Felix?” Changbin frowns. “Good night?”

“Can I just say something?”

Changbin shifts in the bed. It’s suddenly much less comfortable than he’d thought it was. “Yeah, sure go ahead.”

“I liked you because you were so funny, cool, smart, and… you were so passionate about things that you liked and I… I guess it made me want to be someone you liked.” Felix says. “But you’re not like that anymore. You’re-”

Changbin frowns.

“Hello? Felix?”

He looks at his phone. The screen’s gone dark. He tries unlocking it, but the screen doesn’t light up. He holds on the power button, but nothing happens. _No. _

Changbin bangs the phone against his hand. _No, fuck this. _

He gets up and digs around his backpack for his charger. He plugs his phone in and tries turning it on, but the loading icon doesn’t even come up on the screen. _Fucking useless piece of shit, you can’t do this to me. _

Changbin rips the phone out of the plug and holds down on the power button again. When nothing happens after a whole minute, he throws the phone at the wall.

His vision’s blurry when the door to his room opens, bringing in the soft, warm hall light in.

“Changbin?”

Changbin wipes his eyes on the collar of his t-shirt. “Sorry, Uncle, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“I wasn’t sleeping.” His uncle steps into Changbin’s room, stopping to look at the wall. “Are you okay?”

Changbin rubs his eyes dry on his t-shirt. He looks up to see what his uncle’s looking at. There’s a deep dent in the gypsum wall, definitely from Changbin’s phone lying cracked on the floor next to it. “Oh shit. I’m sorry, Uncle, I didn’t mean to-”

“I’m sure you didn’t.” Changbin’s uncle says, poking the dent in the wall with one finger.

“I’ll return everything you got me, will that cover the repairs?” Changbin asks.

“No, you don’t need to. Those are gifts. It’d be rude to return them.”

Changbin tucks his face into his shirt. “I’m so sorry, Uncle, you’ve been so kind to me-”

“Look, Changbin, we’re going to be stuck together for a whole week-”

“I’m sorry, Uncle, I can go home if-”

“No. You’re not going home.” Changbin’s uncle says firmly, in that tone that sounds like Changbin’s mom. “Why did your parents send you here?”

“They’re embarrassed of me and they didn’t want to see me.”

“No, Changbin, whether they meant it or not, they sent you here for therapy.” Changbin’s uncle lowers himself slowly to sit on the floor next to Changbin. “And even though one week is definitely not enough, I’m not letting you go home without it.”

“But-”

“I’m putting my foot down as a professional, Changbin.” Changbin’s uncle says. “We’re going back to the clinic tomorrow. If you don’t want to talk to me, I have colleagues that you might-”

“Uncle, I don’t need that.”

“Really?” Changbin’s uncle’s eyes are bright in the light from the hallway. “Answer me honestly, Changbin, and if you say you don’t need it, I won’t bring it up ever again. But just be honest.”

Changbin looks up at his uncle for a long time, but he isn’t thinking about him. He’s trying to figure out what Felix had been trying to say next when his phone died. _You’re not like that anymore. So I don’t think I can like you anymore, Cap. Sorry._

Changbin sinks back against the wall. _That sounds like Felix._

“If I go to therapy, will I become myself again?”

“I don’t know, it depends what “myself” means to you.” Changbin’s uncle says. “But uh, I _am_ still a doctor, and I’m here so that you get better.”

“What does that even mean, _better_?” Changbin mumbles.

“Well, sometimes it means that the sickness will be gone,” Changbin’s uncle says. “Or that it’s still there, but you can fight it. So you can go back to living your life.”

Changbin rubs his eyes with his already damp t-shirt again. “I want that.”

“So you’ll come back to the clinic tomorrow?”

“Yes.”


	35. “Committing to someone isn’t like taking out another fucking car loan” – Ahn Hyejin

“I think it’s my mom’s fault.”

Changbin’s uncle bursts out laughing. “Hold up, Changbin, we haven’t even started yet.”

“But I think it’s her fault.” Changbin says. “Don’t you think it’s her fault?”

“Changbin, I’m not a judge. I’m not going to point fingers.”

“But she’s always telling me to do this or that and change what I’m doing and who I’m hanging out with.” Changbin says, crossing his arms. “She’s a villain.”

“Wait, wait, where is my damn iPad,” Changbin’s uncle says, rummaging around his bag. “There it is. Give me literally _one_ minute to set up, Changbin.”

“Sorry.” Changbin says, sinking back sheepishly into his chair. “I still think it’s Mom’s fault.”

“As amusing as it is for me to hear someone call my homophobic sister a _villain_,” Changbin’s uncle says as he pulls out his stylus. Then he gasps, his eyes going wide. “Oh. Crap. I didn’t- Did she tell you?”

“That you’re gay?” Changbin asks. “Not directly, but I can’t think of any other reason for her to baselessly hate a decent person.”

Changbin’s uncle blinks at him. “Why do you say that?”

“She’s… She was really rude to my friend’s dads. He has two dads,” Changbin explains. “And they’re married.”

“_Good for them_,” Changbin’s uncle mutters bitterly.

Changbin laughs. “Uncle, please.”

“What? Good for them.” Changbin’s uncle repeats, with a much lighter tone. “Is that better?”

“Yes.” Changbin says.

“How was she rude to your friend’s _happily married_ gay parents?” Changbin’s uncle says, with just a hint of bitterness.

“Well, it wasn’t just her. I mean, she was the worst, but she and dad both told me to stop hanging out with Felix because they didn’t want people gossiping about me.”

Changbin’s uncle takes a deep breath.

“I personally don’t care what people say about me,” Changbin clarified. “And everyone back home has way too much time and they all know each other, so they’re always talking about whoever isn’t there at the moment.”

“You really don’t care what they say? You don’t correct them? Ever?”

“Never.”

“Has that ever backfired?”

“N-” Changbin stops. “Maybe.”

Felix’s just put his lunchbox into his locker when he notices a shadow fall over him. He looks up. “Oh, hey, Chan.”

“Hi.” Chan’s got his hands stuffed in his front hoodie pocket, and he seems to be wringing them for some reason.

“What’s up?”

“Have you heard from Changbin lately?”

Felix slams his locker shut harder than he’d meant to. “Why are you asking me?”

“I just thought, because you two were close-”

“Are we?” Felix asks, cocking an eyebrow up.

“I thought you were, sorry.” Chan grimaces. “Since he’s always hitching rides home with you?”

Felix sighs. He has no business being mean to Bang Chan. Bang Chan isn’t the one who hung up on him midsentence without even sending a single text saying that his internet got cut or his phone ran out of battery or _anything_.

_Asshole._

“You can ask Teacher Ahn about him.” Felix says. “She’s his neighbor, and she’s friends with his parents.”

“Oh, really?” Chan’s eyes bug out with surprise. “_Teacher Ahn_? The History teacher?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, okay, thanks, Felix! You’re the best.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Ahn Hyejin.”

“Why are you calling me by my full name?” Hyejin says, making a face as she swivels out of her cubicle and over to Jinyoung’s.

“You’ve dated people, right?”

Hyejin lifts the stack of papers in her hand, threatening to whack her coworker with them. “If this is about what I think you’re talking about, Park Jinyoung, I am going to kill you.”

“What?” Jinyoung raises both arms to protect himself. “I’m asking for advice! What the fuck!”

Hyejin narrows her eyes at him, but she lowers the papers. “Fine. Okay. Fine, what relationship problem could I _possibly_ help you with?”

“My, um, the person I’m seeing is mad at me and I don’t know why.”

“Maybe because you refer to them as _‘the person I’m seeing’_,” Hyejin scoffs.

“Well, we’re not officially dating yet, so what else am I supposed to say?” Jinyoung pouts.

“Maybe she’s sick and tired of waiting you to ask.”

“I’m not…” Jinyoung makes a face. “I’m not a commitment person.”

Hyejin rolls her eyes to the _gods_. “Honestly, for such an intelligent person, you are really dumb if you have to ask me why she’s mad at you after saying _that_.”

“I can’t commit to someone, not when I’ve got Hyunjin to take care of and our house’s mortgage and my car loan and-”

“Committing to someone isn’t like taking out another fucking car loan, Jinyoung.” Hyejin says.

“Speaking of which, you know they haven’t returned my car? They fucking ran off with it last Saturday and didn’t return it, so Hyunjin and I have had to ride our bikes everywhere, like I’m in high school again. How come I’m not allowed to be the angry one?”

“If my boyfriend said something that dumb to me, I’d steal their car, too.” Hyejin snickers.

“It’s not funny, I worked hard for that car. I’m _still_ working hard for it.” Jinyoung groans.

“Listen,” Hyejin says, taking a deep breath to keep herself from laughing at her coworker. “Did you let this unfortunate person know at the beginning of your relationship that you were just in it for the… _fun times_?”

Jinyoung looks left and right and, finding the faculty room virtually empty, whispers, “I’m not just in it for the sex, Hyejin.”

“Really? Because it sounds like it.” Hyejin swivels around in her chair thoughtfully. “I’ve dated _lots_ of guys like that. They think they’re all noble and gentlemanly because they’re “not just in it for the sex,” but if you ask them what else they enjoy from your relationship, they end up scratching their heads.”

“Do you really think I’m like that, Hyejin?”

“You look like the type.”

“Ouch.”

They both fall silent when the other Math teacher comes over and knocks on Hyejin’s cubicle wall. “Am I interrupting something?”

“No.”

“Good. Bang Chan wants to talk to you-”

“Me?” Jinyoung asks, already standing up.

“No, not you, sweetie.” The other Math teacher says, gently pushing Jinyoung back into his seat. “He wants to talk to Hyejin.”

“But he hasn’t been my student in years.” Hyejin frowns.

The other Math teacher shrugs. “He said he needed Teacher Ahn, and you’re the only Teacher Ahn we have.”

“Huh.” Hyejin says, straightening her skirt out as she stands up. “Sooyoung-unnie, you’re married, right?”

The math teacher’s eyes widen. “Yes, why?”

“Please give this clueless idiot some advice,” Hyejin says, resting her hands on Jinyoung’s shoulders. She leans in to whisper, “He told his girlfriend he doesn’t want commitment and now she’s understandably mad at him.”

Jinyoung shuts his eyes in embarrassment. “Hyejin, are you going to tell the _whole _world-”

“Maybe. It feels so good knowing you’re not perfect, Park Jinyoung.” Hyejin says, starting for the door with a little skip in her step.

“I never claimed to be!” Jinyoung calls after her. He looks back at Sooyoung, who’s just shaking her head. “What?”

“The handsome ones are never trustworthy.”

“Bang Chan!” Hyejin says, a warm smile spreading across her face when she sees the senior. “How are you? How’s your shoulder?”

“I’m fine, and it’s fine, too, Teacher Ahn, thanks.” Chan grins. Then his grin falters. “I, uh, are you busy right now?”

“No, what’s up?”

“I just wanted to ask if you know anything about Changbin.” Chan says. “I haven’t seen him since… the other week.”

“He’s suspended until this week, Chan.”

“Oh. I mean, I know, but is there any way I could uh, talk to him?”

Hyejin knows full well that Changbin was somehow responsible for Chan’s sprained shoulder, so she probably shouldn’t be helping Chan meet him _just in case_ the latter is out for revenge.

_But this is Bang Chan, he’s the nicest kid on Earth. _

_And Changbin’s his friend, it was probably just an accident. _

_He’s probably worried about Changbin._

_Wow, Hyejin, you’ve made an entire narrative out of absolutely nothing. What do you think you are, a literature teacher?_

“If you have a message for him, I could try to pass it on.” Hyejin says.

Chan nods slowly. “I was thinking of talking to him myself, actually.”

“Chan, I hope you understand why I can’t be the one who lets that happen?”

“Changbin’s one of my best friends, Teacher Ahn, and he’s going through something tough all by himself.” Chan says. “I hope _you_ understand that.”

_No. Hyejin. Stay out of it. _

“Okay.”

_God damn your soft heart, Hyejin. Weak bitch._

Hyejin lowers her voice. “You can hitch a ride with me to his place after school, but don’t tell anybody, okay?”

“Okay.” Chan nods, smiling. “Thank you so much, Teacher Ahn.”

Chan’s walking back to his classroom when someone grabs him by the sleeve.

“Agh, agh, my _shoulder_,” Chan whines.

“Holy shit, sorry dude.” Jisung gasps, immediately letting go of Chan’s sleeve.

Chan smiles to himself. He hadn’t actually felt a thing, because his _other_ shoulder was the injured one. “What’s going on, Jisung?”

“Did you hear about the animal shelter?”

“No, what happened?”

Jisung pouts.

Mark stabs the strip of packaging tape with a pen until it rips all the way across. He pats the packaging tape down neatly. “That’s the last of the stuff. Could you ask a couple people to come get the tables?”

“Of course, sir.” The guy with the moving company nods and takes the box from him. Mark watches him carry the box to a trolley, then wheel it out the door of the animal shelter’s office.

Mark looks back at the empty office. Without the ailing PC and everything else in it, it actually looks big.

“Holy crap,” Someone says coming in behind Mark. “What’s going on, Boss?”

“Rina? What are you doing here?”

“Uh,” Rina snorts. “This is my _job_?”

Mark just stares at her. _Poor thing. _

“Sorry, Rina, but not anymore.” Mark hands her a sheet of paper he’d had crumpled in his fist. “The mayor had this place closed down first thing today.”

“Crap.” Rina frowns at the memo from the mayor’s office. “They didn’t even give us fucking _notice_. This is unethical.”

Rina starts on a tirade about employee rights, and Mark can only smile. _She didn’t even ask what would happen to the animals. _

_That would’ve been Seungmin’s first question._

“Kim Seungmin, why are you not in school?”

Seungmin looks up from the manga he’d been flipping lazily through. He’s lying on a chaise in their house’s library, taking occasional sips from a can of Coke he’d put directly on the mahogany end table without a coaster. “I’m not missing anything, Mom.”

“I don’t pay millions to send you to that school just for you to _not attend-_”

“You don’t pay.” Seungmin takes a sip of Coke. “Dad does.”

Seungmin’s mom pulls her stole close. Why she’s wearing a stole in this weather, God alone knows. “Do you want to go back to the police station, Seungmin? You haven’t learned your lesson?”

“You can’t send me back there. Also, what you did is technically child abuse, and I could report you for it.”

“Report _us_ for it! Report _us_?” Seungmin’s mom scoffs. “When _you _committed a crime! Excuse _me_!”

“I didn’t commit any crime, they cleared that up with the investigation last Friday.” Seungmin says, taking another calm sip of Coke. “It was Yang Jeongin’s mom who threw the brick, not me.”

Rose Kim is having an awful day, and it’s only half over.

Yuna’s come down with a really bad cold, and she hasn’t been able to breathe well enough to fall asleep for _hours_. Their laundry had come out smelling weird because of something that Jeongin had forgotten to take out of his pocket (Rose still doesn’t know what it is). Jaehyun had gotten really angry about the whole brick thing, so much so that he hasn’t really talked to her since Friday evening.

And the animal shelter was closed by her stupid cousin, after everything that had happened.

Rose flops onto the sofa, crying along with Yuna, who hasn’t stopped. “It’s just not _fair_, Yuna. Where are all those animals going to go _now_?”

Yuna seems to notice her mom bawling louder than she is, and seems to know she’s beat. She stops crying and stares at her mom in a mixture of confusion and awe.

“They’re going to be h- h- _homeless_,” Rose bawls out loud, much to her daughter’s bewilderment. “It’s so hard not to have a home!”

She’s crying so hard she doesn’t hear the front door open and close.

“Rose?”

“Oh, hello, darling, why are you home so early?” Rose quickly wipes her eyes on Yuna’s onesie and stands up, pretending to rock Yuna to sleep.

Yuna looks back at her dad like, _Y’all seeing this fake shit?_

“Jeongin texted me that Yuna was sick, so I thought you could use the help.” Jaehyun says, reaching out to take the baby. He stops when he sees Rose’s puffy eyes. “Are you sick too?”

“No.” Rose sniffles. “I was just thinking about the animals.”

“Jesus.” Jaehyun mutters under his breath, rocking Yuna against his chest. “Let it go, Rose, I’m sure the mayor will-”

“He had them evicted!” Rose wails. “It’s so unfair!”

“What? How do you know?”

“Jeongin texted me.”

“What is that kid doing at school? Why does he have the time to text everybody?” Jaehyun frowns.

“Oh. I didn’t think of that.” Rose frowns, too.

“Have you two had lunch?” Jaehyun asks.

“Yes.” Rose bites on her lips nervously. She didn’t cook enough extra lunch for Jaehyun. “What about you?”

“Yeah.” Jaehyun says, patting Yuna on the back. The baby, for some reason, is nearly fast asleep. “I’ll just put Yuna in her crib, then can we talk?”

Rose blinks anxiously. “Okay.”

Rose folds her hands in her lap, unfolds them, then folds them the other way. She does this about fifty times before Jaehyun comes back out of the room.

He’s barely stepped into the living area when she drops to her knees. “I’m so sorry for trying to murder my cousin and getting arrested, but those animals are _so_ sad I couldn’t just-”

“Wait, wait,” Jaehyun says, holding Rose by the shoulders to bring her to her feet. “You were trying to _murder_ him?”

“I failed.” Rose mutters glumly.

Jaehyun laughs before catching himself and looking stern again. “You’re not a teenager, Rose, you can’t just do whatever you want.”

“I know.”

“But on a side note, I think it was _pretty_ sexy of you to nail his office window all the way from the street.” Jaehyun says with a small grin.

Rose sighs. “If I were in better form, it’d have been a head shot.”

“Yeah, probably,” Jaehyun says, sliding his hands around Rose to tuck them in the back pockets of her shorts. “But it would’ve been a non-bailable offense if you did.”

“Oh.” Rose jumps a little when she feels his hands grip her butt.

“You would’ve still been in jail,” Jaehyun says, pulling her closer. “And not _here_.”

“That would’ve been a bummer.” Rose says, hooking her arms around his neck.

“That’s an understatement.”

Jeongin raises his hand. “I hate this.”

“Look, I hate it too, but I would rather die than have to fight someone’s parents.” Coach Yoo groans. “So Seungmin won’t be joining us for training this week. Good thing we don’t have any games this weekend.”

“We’d be fine without him anyway.” One of the other guys mutters.

Coach Yoo narrows her eyes at him, ready to tell him off, but Minho steps in before she does.

“You really think we’d be fine without the best and most well-rounded, reliable player we have?” Minho asks, crossing his arms.

The other guy frowns up at him. “What, are you dating Kim Seungmin now?”

Minho rolls his eyes. “Oh, fuck you.”

“Okay, guys, let’s stay focused.” Coach Yoo says, waving her hands between them to fan away the negative vibes. “Semifinals are in less than two weeks, and we’ve got a lot to work on.”

“Also,” Minho says, giving the other guy a hard look. “Whom I’m dating is none of your fucking business, you parched rat.”

Jeongin snorts.

“I couldn’t give a fuck who you’re dating, Cap.” The other guy mutters, but it’s too late. The rest of the team is already laughing at him.

“Han Jisung?”

The junior waves excitedly from where he’s standing next to Hyejin’s car. “Hello, Teacher Ahn, are we going now?”

“_We?_” Hyejin asks.

“Chan’s coming in a little while, his Physics teacher is just keeping them until the last minute.”

_Bang Chan. Should’ve known._

_Stupid, foolish Hyejin._

Hyejin shuts her eyes and starts counting to ten.

“There he is! Come on, Chan.”

Chan jogs over. “Teacher Ahn, thanks again for bringing us-”

“What happened to_ don’t tell anybody_?” Hyejin asks.

“I didn’t, promise!” Chan says, crossing his heart.

Hyejin tilts her head towards Jisung with an accusatory look.

“Oh, well, you see, Jisung’s our third best friend. It’s me, Changbin, and Jisung – kinda like buy one get one.” Chan grins.

Hyejin sighs. “How’re you doing in math, Bang Chan?”

“Pretty good, actually.” Chan nods. “Coach- I mean, Teacher Park’s a great teacher.”

Hyejin heaves another sigh. “Come on, let’s go before someone sees us.”

Jisung frowns as they come to a stop outside the most depressing apartment building he has seen in his life. He’s seen it a couple of times now, but it seems to only get worse every time.

“Changbin’s apartment is unit 202, on the second floor.” Teacher Ahn says, pointing up at a dreary, brownish white door visible from the street.

“You’re not coming with us?”

“No of course not.” Teacher Ahn says. “And you guys will have to find your own way home. Or I can bring you as far as the bus stop by the 7-eleven.”

“We’ll be fine,” Chan says. “Thanks, Teacher Ahn.”

“Thanks.” Jisung echoes.

“I hope Changbin’s doing okay.” Teacher Ahn says, staring off down the street.

Jisung follows Chan up the stairs of the apartment building, and to the door. He waits for Chan to knock, but the latter doesn’t.

Jisung clears his throat. “Daylight’s wasting, Cap- I mean, Chan.”

“Yeah.” Chan says, but he doesn’t budge.

“Oh fuck it,” Jisung reaches out and knocks on the door.

A ridiculously beautiful woman opens the door. _Well, she’s beautiful, but her expression is terrible. _Jisung’s having a hard time believing she’s Changbin’s mom, but he has few other options.

“Hello?” The woman asks.

Jisung straightens up. “Hi, we’re Changbin’s friends-”

“He’s not home.” The woman says.

“Do you know when he’ll be back?” Chan asks.

“Next Sunday.”

Chan and Jisung exchange confused looks.

“Where is he?” Jisung asks.

“That’s none of your business.” The woman says. “Do you need anything else from me?”

“N- No.”

“Okay then.” The woman closes the door on their faces.

Chan’s frowning so hard he doesn’t seem to have the brainpower left to move, so Jisung has to tug him to the stairwell.

“I thought Changbin’s mom was a flight attendant,” Jisung mutters. “How has she not been fired with manners like that?”

Changbin frowns at the photo in his hands. “This doesn’t look like her.”

“Really?” Changbin’s uncle asks, moving his glass of wine aside so he can open the photo album on the table all the way. They’d just finished dinner and were having a glass of wine each as they went over an old photo album Changbin’s uncle had saved from college. “She’s nearly twenty years younger there.”

“No, that’s not it.” Changbin shakes his head. Shapewise, and facewise, the woman in the photo does look like his mom, but she’s got this smile on her face that looks almost like… _Me, _Changbin thinks in mild horror.

“Here’s one with your dad.” Changbin’s uncle says, slipping one photo out of the album and handing it to Changbin.

Changbin looks at the photo. There’s around seven people in the photo, wearing outfits that Changbin would rather die than wear. His uncle’s not there, obviously, because he had been holding the camera, but he recognizes his parents on the far right. His dad’s arm is around his mom’s shoulders, and they’re both looking at each other and laughing.

“They’d just pulled a prank on Saemi,” Changbin’s uncle explains, pointing at the one girl in the picture who looks upset, and a little damp.

“They did that to me when I was younger.” Changbin says. “The bucket on the door thing.”

Changbin’s uncle frowns. “They were always into jokes and pranks and things like that. They never knew how to be serious.”

“Oh, they know how to be serious now.” Changbin mutters, handing the photo back to his uncle.

“Really? That’s good.” Changbin’s uncle says. “We were afraid they wouldn’t last- Changbin!”

Changbin only realizes when it’s too late that he’s knocked his glass of wine over. “Oh shit, sorry, Uncle.” He rights the glass, but it’s too late. The deep red wine’s spilled all the way to the light gray table runner, staining it.

“It’s okay, Changbin, it’s just an accident.” Changbin’s uncle says, rushing to grab a few paper towels to mop it up. “You’re just more accident-prone than other people.”

“It’s because I was an accident.” Changbin says.

Changbin’s uncle frowns at him.

“It’s a joke my parents say.” Changbin says.

“They said that? More than once?” Changbin’s uncle asks, brow furrowed in concern.

“It’s just a joke, Uncle.”

“It’s not funny.”

Changbin finishes mopping up the last of the wine. “No, it isn’t.”

“You’re not an accident, Changbin, I can assure you that.” Changbin’s uncle says. “Your parents wanted to have you, and they were the happiest I’d ever seen them when you were born.”

Changbin tosses all the wine-stained paper towels in the bin. “They’re a lot less happy with me now.”

Changbin’s uncle frowns at him as he takes the cork off the wine bottle. “If they are, it’s not your fault, Changbin. You’re a good person. Any parent should be happy to have a kid like you.”

“No, I’m not.” Changbin says, and he thinks of Felix. He’s been thinking about Felix all day, just placing him on the back burner when his uncle would ask him about things that needed thinking. But Felix was always there.

“Why don’t you think so?”

“Because I’ve done awful things.”

“If you feel bad about the wrong you’ve done,” Changbin’s uncle says. “And you do something to make it right, then are you really a bad person?”

Changbin watches his uncle pour him another glass of wine. He’s still thinking about Felix. “I guess not.”


	36. 17 years of birthday presents pt. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everybody, meet Choi Minju

_Tuesday _

Choi Minki wakes up on Tuesday morning to the smell of eggs and frying oil. It takes a whole moment for him to realize he’s in his bed, in his apartment, and not back home with his parents.

He pulls back the covers and sits up. Usually he spends half an hour or more just checking his feed, but something about the smell of cooking breakfast is forcing him to move much more than usual.

_Wait. My goddamned nephew._

Minki runs into the kitchen with just one slipper on (the other fell off his foot as he ran down the hallway). “Changbin!”

Changbin looks up at him with his eyebrows raised. “Yes, uncle?”

“Why are you- Stop!” Minki leans against the refrigerator as he gasps for air. “Fire! No fire allowed in the apartment!”

Changbin frowns and points at the stove, where a pan is still sizzling with something on it. “You have induction stoves.”

“Oh.” Minki peers over at the stove, which, sure enough, has four induction tops covered in sleek black glass. “I never noticed.”

“You’ve never used them?” Changbin asks.

“No.” Minki says. “I’m not a cooker. I forgot you were a cooker.”

Changbin laughs. “You make me sound like a rice cooker.”

Minki perches on one of the barstools next to the Italian marble kitchen island. He looks over the plates and bowls Changbin had set up while he was asleep. “What’d you make?”

“Just uh, this fried egg pancake thing.” Changbin says, returning to the stove to slide some freshly fried ones onto the plate. “Oh, and just a warning, they’re pretty… crunchy.”

Minki watches his nephew place the plate on the island in front of him.

_20 years ago_

“These are burnt.” Minki says, gently dropping the rock-hard egg pancake out of his mouth and onto his plate.

His younger sister whacks him on the arm with a spatula that’s still hot from frying.

Minki glares up at her. “What the _hell_, Minju?”

“I worked hard on those.” His sister huffs, plopping into the seat next to him.

“I didn’t ask you to make me breakfast,” Minki scowls. He pokes one of the egg pancakes with one chopstick. “You could use this to build houses.”

“Screw you!” Minju says, picking one up with two fingers and taking a loud bite out of it. “Shee? Ish jush crunchy.”

“Crunchy is crunchy, Minju,” Minki says, picking one up and trying to snap it in half. “This is _burnt_.”

“You’re just weak.” Minju insists, taking another bite of her pancake.s

“Oooh, you made breakfast, Minki?” Minki’s housemate asks, coming out of his room rubbing his eyes.

“No, my little sister made it.” Minki says quickly, lest his housemate assume _he_’s responsible for these egg bricks.

“Minki-oppa doesn’t know how to cook.” Minju adds, before taking another bite of her pancake.

Minki’s housemate stops as stares at Minki’s sister for a long time. When he’s done staring, he says, “Minki, I thought your sister was in primary school.”

Minju makes a face at her brother. “I’m only four years younger than you, Minki, what the hell?”

“I never said you were in primary school.” Minki makes a face at his housemate. “What the hell, Dongho?”

Dongho laughs, shaking his messy hair. “Oops. I just thought- because the way you would talk about her- Never mind, I’m stupid.”

“Hi stupid,” Minki’s sister says. “I’m Minju.”

Dongho laughs again as he sits down next to Minki. He picks up one of the pancakes and takes a bite of it.

“I was just gonna warn you, you might lose a tooth.” Minki mutters, watching his housemate grimace as he attempts to chew the small stones in his mouth that were once egg.

“It’s not bad,” Dongho says through a very, very forced smile. He gives Minju a shaky thumbs up. “Just a bit crunchy.”

Minju sticks her tongue out at Minki. “See? told you.”

_Wednesday_

“I’m thinking of getting the guest room renovated.” Minki says over dinner.

Changbin freezes with his spoon a couple inches away from his mouth. “Oh. Because of me?”

“No, no, there are other stuff there that need repairs. The floorboards are a bit wonky by the window,” Minki says.

“I didn’t notice.” Changbin says. “I don’t move the curtains much.”

“Yeah, I noticed you keep them closed.” Minki says. “The view on that side’s not bad, though.”

“I just don’t like waking up with the sun on my face.” Changbin says, scrunching up his nose. “It gives me a headache.”

“Oh.” Minki says.

_20 years ago_

“Plants die without sunlight, Dongho.” Minki says, picking up the sad, yellowed thing in a pot by the window.

“Oh, yeah, that thing,” Dongho says.

“_That thing_.” Minki scoffs. “This was my housewarming present.”

“I know, I know,” Dongho assures him, patting him on the back. “And my house is much warmer for it, thanks.”

Minki holds up the suffering creature to his friend’s face. “I think this guy begs to differ.”

“I’ll bring it with me to the hospital, maybe it’ll get more sun there.” Dongho says, taking the pot from Minki.

“No, all you have to do is open these damn curtains once in a while.” Minki says, clambering over Dongho’s bed to get to the curtains. He didn’t say anything about it when he’d gone to Dongho’s housewarming party, but his friend’s new studio apartment is _tiny_. If Minki had been just 10% more meddlesome, he’d have suggested that Dongho just move back in with him.

“Minju doesn’t like the sunlight in the morning.” Dongho says as he lays the dying plant on the folding table by his kitchenette. “It gives her a headache.”

Minki nearly rips the curtain off. “Excuse me?”

“Oh.” Dongho looks back at Minki with his eyes wide. “_Oh_. Oops.”

“When did you start sleeping with my little sister?” Minki asks.

Dongho bites his lips shut and shakes his head.

“Jesus, Dongho,” Minki makes a face as he scrambles as far away from the bed as he can. Just the idea that his little sister… He needs to vomit, but he’d rather not do it in Dongho’s 2-cubic-meter bathroom.

“It just happened.” Dongho says, lowering his head. “Sorry, Minki.”

“No, you know what, I couldn’t care less whom my sister’s sleeping with.” Minki says, still trying not to gag. “Better you than another asshole, right?”

Dongho gives his friend an apologetic smile. “I should’ve asked you first, sorry.”

“No, ew, no.” Minki actually gags. “One, I’m not her _father_, and two, you two aren’t getting married anyway.”

“I’ll take good care of her.” Dongho says quietly.

“No offense, but I don’t give a shit,” Minki says. “She’s an adult. She should take care of herself.”

“Okay.”

“God, I need a drink.” Minki says, collapsing on the couch. Then he straightens up when he thinks that maybe his sister… and his best friend… maybe… Minki’s head is spinning. “Do you have any beer?”

“Minju finished up my beer yesterday.”

“Goddammit.” Minki has no idea what great wrong he did in his past life to get a sister like Minju, who moves in on his best friend and drinks all of said best friend’s fucking beer.

Minki opens his eyes to find Dongho holding out a glass of clear liquid to him. “That better be soju.”

“It’s just water.” Dongho says, with an apologetic eye crinkle. “Sorry.”

“Whatever.” Minki takes the glass and downs it like a shot. He narrows his eyes up at his best friend. “You’d better not knock my sister up.”

Dongho’s entire face turns red, all the way down to his neck. “What kind of med student would I be if I didn’t even know-”

“Just saying.” Minki says, looking for an empty surface to put his glass down on. _This place is too damn small. _“Don’t you fucking dare.”

_Thursday_

“You’re a high school senior, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” Changbin replies.

Minki scribbles on his iPad: _It already says so in his file that he’s a senior, you idiot._

“The entrance exam is finished already, right?”

“Yeah.” Changbin says.

“How was it?”

Changbin shrugs. “It was okay. The Math part was pretty fun.”

_He actually found taking a standardized Math exam fun. Yikes, _Minki writes. _Mini-Minju._

“I remember you mom failed everything except the Math part when she took the exam,” Minki snorts. Then he notices how Changbin’s expression darkens, and he adds, “I like Math, too. I joined a bunch of competitions when I was younger.”

That seems to ease Changbin up again. “Really?”

“Yeah. I heard they count it as a varsity these days.”

“Oh yeah, lots of things can be counted as your varsity now,” Changbin says. “Even esports!”

Minki raises both eyebrows. “Your school has esports?”

“No.” Changbin laughs, shaking his head. “We don’t even have a dance club.”

“Really? You’d have thought that with how big dancing is now, they would’ve kept up with the times.” Minki notices the dry look on Changbin’s face. “Ah, so it’s _that_ kind of school. I see.”

_Dumb small town school with small town values = _ _☹_

“So where are you going for university?” Minki asks, as casually as he can, though he knows a question like that is never casual.

“_________ University.” Changbin says, with much less enthusiasm than he had for esports.

Minki feels like he’s going to sound like a complete snob and a prick, but he asks anyway, “Where’s that?”

“Oh it’s near our place. Our house is here,” Changbin says, moving Minki’s Post-it cube to one part of Minki’s desk. He points at one of Minki’s paperweights on top of a stack of folders. “And it’s up on the mountain here.”

Minki tries very, very hard not to let his expression change.

_Going to some university in the province. Why? _He writes in his notes.

“Did you apply to any of the universities here?” Minki asks, nodding at the steel and glass city out the window.

Changbin stares at him blankly. “No. Everything’s too expensive here.”

“Rich universities also give more scholarships.” Minki says. “Your mom and dad went to university here. Both on scholarship.”

“Really?” Changbin thinks about it for a second.

“Yeah.” Minki purses his lips. “I know S______ University’s still open for late applications. What do you want to study?”

“Uh, I’m taking Business Management.”

Minki feels like he’s being a judgmental bitch again, but he looks at Changbin for a long time. “You don’t strike me as a Business Management kind of guy.”

“I’m going to get the car shop when dad retires, so my parents said I should probably know how to run a business.” Changbin explains, with a hundred times less enthusiasm than he’d had for esports.

“Your dad isn’t retiring for another what, 15 years? My professional opinion is _fuck that_,” Minki says, relishing in his nephew’s little gasp. “What do you want to study?”

“Civil engineering.” Changbin says without skipping a beat.

Minki remembers how he’d found Changbin sitting by the living room window that morning, sketching the blue bridge below on his Economics homework. _That sounds more like him._

“S______ University is well known for engineering, aside from medicine.”

“But I won’t get a scholarship if I apply now, will I?”

“I’ll pay for your first year.” Minki says, noting how annoying money is on his iPad. “You can apply for a scholarship when you’re there already.”

He looks up to find Changbin staring at him with slightly wet eyes.

“I couldn’t accept that,” Changbin says, wincing like he’s pulling a knife out of his chest. “But thanks for offering, Uncle.”

_Minju would’ve jumped at that offer, _Minki notes absently.

He erases that line.

_19 years ago_

“You’re fucking kidding me, right?”

“No.” Minju says, shoving her hand in Minki’s face. “Does _this_ look like a joke to you?”

“This is an elaborate hidden camera trick and I’m not falling for it.” Minki says. “Also, it’s not funny.”

“Why are you such a little bitch?” Minju crosses her arms. “Why can’t you just be happy for me? And Dongho? Your best friend?”

“Because it just… It’s not right!” Minki says. “You and Dongho literally just met a year ago.”

“So? I like him.”

“What happened to marrying rich?” Minki says. “Dongho’s like, dirt poor, you know that?”

“Don’t call him that.” Minju scowls. “Also, I’m not _that_ shallow. Besides, Dongho’s going to be a doctor anyway, we’re going to become rich.”

“I don’t like this.”

“You don’t have to like it, you’re not the one getting married.” Minju says.

Minki shakes his head. _This can’t be happening. _

He grabs his sister by the arms and lowers his voice so the old woman across the train car can’t hear them. “Are you pregnant?”

“No, what the hell?” Minju rolls her eyes, shaking her brother’s hands off. “I’m not stupid.”

_I beg to differ. _

“Maybe you and Dongho should date for some more time first.” Minki says. “You don’t really know each-”

“_You_ know Dongho.” Minju says. “Is he a bad guy?”

Minki hates it, but he has to admit, “No.”

“No, he’s nice, hardworking, hot, and he’s going to be a surgeon and rich as hell.” Minju says, ticking each point off on her fingers. “He’s virtually perfect.”

“Nobody’s perfect, Minju.” Minki sighs.

_Friday_

Minki saves his notes then closes the app. “Well, that’s it for today. And, I guess, the near future. Unless you _slip_ and find your way back here or something. My door’s always open.”

“Thanks, Uncle.” Changbin says, smiling.

Minki knows better than to give himself credit for it, but he’s glad his nephew seems to be much happier after just a few days with him.

“Do you have another appointment today?” Changbin asks.

“Yeah, I actually do in twenty minutes.”

“Oh.” Changbin sucks on the inside of his cheek. “Sorry for keeping you so long.”

“No, that’s why I leave enough space between appointments,” Minki says. “Do you want me to bring you back to the apartment first?”

“No, it’s okay, I’ll just stay in the waiting area.” Changbin says. “I’ve got a lot of homework to catch up on.”

“Okay.” Minki nods. “We’re going out for a fancy goodbye dinner later, so we’ll leave a bit early to have time to freshen up and stuff.”

Changbin stares at his uncle. “The past couple of days _weren’t_ fancy yet?”

Minki laughs. “No, this one’s a _real_ fancy one.”

“Okay.” Changbin shrugs. Then he frowns. “Wait, why not have the goodbye dinner tomorrow? I’m leaving after dinner tomorrow so we could still have dinner.”

“Your parents will be here tomorrow.” Minki says flatly. “I’m not buying _them_ dinner.”

Changbin laughs. “Uncle, they’re not that bad.”

Minki had never thought he would hear that from his nephew, or anyone else who has had the misfortune of meeting his sister.

Changbin stands up, and he doesn’t tug his pants up like he usually does. Minki’s glad to see his nephew in jeans that actually fit him, not giant ones that were clearly Dongho’s.

“Just ask Yuri if you need anything,” Minki says, making a lazy gesture in the general direction of his receptionist.

“Okay, thanks, Uncle.” Changbin stops at the door and smiles back at Minki. “For everything.”

“No problem, Changbin.”

Minki’s heart is so warm that he forgets for a second that he never wants to have kids.

_18 years ago_

“Are you not going to answer that?” Minki’s patient asks, frowning at the cellphone buzzing furiously by the edge of his desk.

“No,” Minki says, tossing the phone into one of his drawers. “That would be unprofessional.”

The patient opens her mouth to say something, but the buzzing of Minki’s phone in the drawer seems even_ louder _than when it had been on the desk. “Please answer that, Dr. Choi. _Please_.”

“Fine.” Minki sighs, pulling his phone out of the drawer. “Excuse me for a minute.”

“OPPA!”

Minki’s standing in the emergency stairwell of the hospital, whispering, “What do you want? I’m with a patient right-”

“GUESS WHAT?”

“I don’t have time for bullshit, Minju-”

“I’m going to have a baby!”

Minki nearly drops his phone down the stairs. He’s surprised, and he doesn’t know what to feel beyond that.

“Congratulate me, oppa.” Minju demands on the other end of the line.

“Congratulations.”

“Put some heart into it, come _on_.”

“_Congratulations!_” Minki says, with a little more volume and sarcasm.

“Whatever, I know you’re happy for me.” Minju scoffs.

“Does Dongho know?”

“No, not yet. I’m going to tell him over dinner.” Minju says excitedly. “I’m making dinner extra special today.”

Minki still can’t imagine his spoiled brat sister as a housewife, even if she’s been married for almost a year now. “Okay.”

“You’re going to be the godfather.”

“No thanks.”

“That was a statement, not a question.” Minju says.

“You know I hate children.” Minki says.

“You don’t have to even hold the baby, I just don’t want _Dongho’s side_ to be the kid’s godparents,” Minju says, sounding like she’s sticking out her tongue. “The whole point of godparents is that they have to be rich.”

“I can’t believe you’re gold-digging for your unborn child.”

“Oh, I think my roast is done, bye.” Minju says.

The line starts beeping before Minki can even say goodbye. He wants to throw the phone down the stairs. He hates his sister. And, by extension, Dongho.

_No, I can’t hate Dongho._

_Saturday_

Minki knocks on Changbin’s door. _No, it’s the guest room door. The kid’s leaving tonight. It’s not his room._

“Changbin?”

“Come in!” Changbin calls.

Minki finds his nephew at the desk, leaning over what he supposes is the two weeks of homework he’s been cramming. “Your mom said they’ll be here in around twenty minutes.”

“Okay.” Changbin says with an easygoing shrug. “Come here, Uncle.”

Minki walks over to the desk. Changbin seems to have taped six pieces of bond paper together in a giant rectangle, and he’s drawn something in mechanical pencil on it that Minki can’t quite make out.

“Wait, nearly finished.” Changbin says, leaning over the corner to shade something in. “There.”

Changbin turns the giant Frankenpaper around and holds it up so Minki can see it.

“Oh.” Minki finds himself looking at an almost photograph-quality sketch of the view from his living room window.

“I didn’t have any coloring stuff, so it’s black-and-white, sorry.” Changbin says. He holds the drawing out to Minki.

“Oh. Is it mine?”

“Yeah. I figured I’ll never be able to pay you back using _money_,” Changbin says. “And all I know how to do is manual labor, so… yeah.”

Minki’s afraid to touch it, like it’ll just catch fire and turn to a pile of ashes if he does. “Sign it.”

“What?” Changbin laughs. “Okay.”

He puts the drawing back on the desk and writes on the lower right corner:

_ To my favorite uncle/godfather/therapist,_

_ Thanks ^_^_

_♥ Changbin_

Changbin holds the drawing out to Minki again. “Is that okay?”

Minki blinks hard and swallows. He doesn’t trust his voice, so he just nods as he takes the drawing. He turns to face the rest of the room so Changbin doesn’t see him cry.

“Oh, yeah, I’ll clean that up,” Changbin laughs, scrambling to pluck all the clothes scattered on the bed. “It’s okay, I’m really fast at packing.”

Minki watches in blurry, teary horror as his nephew stuffs all of his clothes haphazardly into his backpack.

_18 years ago_

Minki unlocks his apartment and walks in. He doesn’t turn the light on until he gets to his room anymore, since there’s never anyone home.

So he understandably yells his lungs out when he sees a silhouette in the living room, watching TV.

“Oppa!” Minju flicks the lights on. “I thought you were never going to get here.”

Minki’s still not used to his sister being all huge and pregnant, but that’s not why he stares. His sister’s eyes are all puffy and red. “What’s wrong, Minju-yah?”

Minju just shakes her head and walks over to Minki. He flinches when she raises her arms, expecting her to hit him, but instead she puts her arms around him and rests her head on his shoulder.

“What’s wrong?” Minki asks again.

“Dongho’s uncle died.”

“The one who raised him?” Minki says. “Shouldn’t you be at the funeral, then?”

“I just came from there.” Minju sniffles.

“How’s his aunt doing?” Minki frowns, patting his sister gingerly on the back.

“She’s the fucking problem.”

Minki’s frown grows deeper. “What do you mean?”

“Dongho’s so fucking stupid, would you believe,” Minju chokes out. “He’s going to quit school to take over his uncle’s business? In his last semester!”

Minki sighs. “To take care of his aunt?”

“Yeah!” Minju stops hugging Minki so she can kick his couch. “She’s already sick, so she’s going to be dead in a few years anyway, but I _and_ the baby are going to still be here, and what are we going to eat? His uncle’s business earns _dirt_.”

Minki bits his lips down to keep himself from saying anything.

“He’s so _selfish_, I can’t believe him.” Minju crosses her arms over her huge belly.

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m leaving him. For good.” Minju says. “No way am I moving out to the middle of no-fucking-where to fucking starve with Dongho’s sick aunt.”

She picks up a backpack sitting by the couch and starts for the hallway, but Minki blocks her way. “It sounds like you and Dongho didn’t talk much.”

“Oh we have talked _enough_ about this stupid shit.” Minju says. “I’m done.”

“Minju-yah,” Minki says, stretching his arms to block the way to the rooms. “I’m going to let you stay with me for as long as you need, because you’re my little sister even if you _are_ a fucking brat-”

“Oppa.” Minju scowls.

“But you need to talk to Dongho. Just promise me that.” Minki says. “I’m sure he’s thinking about you and your kid, he doesn’t think about anything else these days.”

Minju shakes her head.

“His uncle was the one paying for his- I mean, _your_ rent here, and giving him allowance that his scholarship doesn’t cover.” Minki says. “I don’t think his business is that bad.”

Minju scowls. “Weren’t you the one who didn’t want us together?”

“Are you not listening to me?” Minki wants to slap his sister, but the creature currently floating around in her uterus hasn’t done anything to personally offend Minki yet, so he doesn’t. “Dongho needs to go back there and work for the business so you guys have a house and food on the table-”

“I am _not_ moving there!”

“Fine! Then stay here and let him work there! Is that what you want?”

“No! I don’t want him anymore!” Minju picks up the nearest throw pillow and whacks Minki with it.

Minki dodges before she can hit him again. “Do you really think you can be a single mom? Work _and_ take care of a baby at the same time?”

“No, you’ll help me with it.”

“It’s not my baby, Minju, it’s…” Minki groans. “I _told_ you not to marry Dongho if you weren’t sure-”

“Well, it’s too late for that now!” Minju flops onto the couch again. She heaves a deep, heavy sigh. “Have you ever been to the place Dongho’s from?”

“No.” Minki says, taking a seat on the far end of the couch for his own safety.

“I did, after we got married. It’s a valley in the middle of nowhere. They don’t even have their own train station_. _Or a mall. Or anything.” Minju groans and sinks in her seat. “I don’t want my kid to be an uncultured country bumpkin.”

_Well, _Minki sighs. _Do I have news for you about the man you married._

_Still Saturday _

Minki knocks on Changbin’s door. He takes a deep breath to keep himself from doing something embarrassing, like bursting into tears. “Uh, ahem, uh, Changbin, I forgot to say, I have something for you, too.”

Changbin opens the door, grinning. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah.” Minki holds a small box wrapped in robin’s egg blue out to Changbin.

“No way.” Changbin says, even before he starts tearing into the wrapping. He rips one strip off, and it reveals the words _iPhone 11. _“No _way_!”

“I was thinking it might be ages again before your parents buy you a new phone, and you kids _need_ to have phones, so-” Minki’s interrupted by an 18-year-old boy squeezing him in a bear hug. “Oh.”

“Thanks, Uncle.” Changbin says, squeezing Minki just a _bit_ too hard. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Minki manages to sputter out. “But I can’t breathe.”

“Oh.” Changbin steps back quickly, head lowered. “Sorry.”

Minki ruffles his nephew’s hair. “Oh. Sorry. Didn’t realize you had product in.”

Changbin turns to the vanity to set his hair in order. “It’s okay, it’s easy to fix.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Beta’s note:** FUCK AL THE SHIT IN THE WORLD
> 
> **Rice's note:** I realize that this isn't an appropriate chapter for the date today but ANYWAY
> 
> HAPPY STRAY KIDS DAY!!! Thank u skz for all the joy you have brought into my life, no jokes, love those boys a lot  



	37. “Holy shit, it’s like you got a head transplant.” – Han Jisung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WE'RE BRINGING SEXY BACK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: I do realize that the timeline is SO fucked up that they’re playing baseball in the winter or some shit. Whatever. This is an au where Kim Jungwoo is a woman and BM and Jae are married. Let’s just suspend our disbelief further. Lmao

_Sunday_

Felix twists his body, feeling his back crack a worrying number of times.

“What do you _mean_ you can’t play?” Coach Park’s voice cracks.

Felix isn’t much of an eavesdropper, but he’s already stretching here, and it’s Coach Park and Chan’s fault they’re standing so close to him. _What’s going on?_

“I was taking care of my siblings yesterday and my brother jumped and pulled my arm and…” Chan makes an ugly sound with his tongue. “So I had to go back to the doctor, and he said I can’t play for another week.”

“Goddamn it.” Coach Park buries his face in his hands.

Felix keeps stretching off to one side. _If Chan still can’t play… then we’re going to be just like last week._

_And if we lose this match, it’s over for us. _

Felix doesn’t particularly care about the championship itself, but he likes the other guys too much to be _okay_ with them losing out like this, especially after how far they’d come last year.

He turns to say something to encourage Chan, but there’s a commotion at the other end of the dugout.

Someone walks through the jaw-dropped Weevils and dumps their duffel bag on the bench next to Felix.

Felix finds himself staring.

_I’m mad at him. I’m still mad at him, _Felix remind himself. _I haven’t forgiven him. _

Changbin looks up at Felix for a split second, before turning away and starting for the opposite end of the dugout.

Felix makes a conscious effort to close his mouth as he watches him go. _I’m still mad at him. What he did was unforgivable. I’m mad. _

_But Seo Changbin is hot as _hell_._

“Who the hell are you and what have you done with Changbin,” Jisung says, grabbing Changbin by the shoulders to spin him like a Lazy Susan. “Holy shit, it’s like you got a head transplant.”

“He just cut his hair.” Hyunjin mutters from the side. He gives Changbin a smile. “Nice haircut, Cap.”

“Thanks.”

“Are you still single, Cap?” Hyunjoon asks, leaning suggestively on a post in the dugout. “And ready to _bingle_?”

“Jesus, Hyunjoon, do you _have_ to be this trashy?” Jisung scowls, waving him away.

Changbin laughs, “As if that isn’t how you picked Minho up.”

“Hey.” Jisung frowns. “That was _nothing_ like the way I picked Minho up.”

“How- Oh wait, I don’t wanna know.” Hyunjoon says, making a gagging noise.

“Oh, fuck you, Hyunjoon.”

Changbin stops when he sees Coach Wang coming over. He braces himself for the worst, but the coach claps him on the shoulder.

“Nice to have you back, Changbin.” Coach Wang says “Can you play catcher?”

Changbin looks back at Chan, whose expression is stormy at best. “But Chan-”

“-Did something dumb and injured his shoulder again.” Coach Wang says, giving Chan a stern look. He looks back at Changbin. “Can you do it?”

“Wait.” Changbin says. “Excuse me.”

He makes his way through the other guys flicking each other on the forehead while pretending to stretch.

“Hey, Chan.”

“Hi Changbin.” Chan says glumly. “You heard Coach, I can’t play-”

“I know. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry about your shoulder.” Changbin says.

“I know you didn’t mean it.” Chan says.

“Still, I haven’t been able to say it.” Changbin says. “And I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you the past year.”

Chan frowns. “Um, there’s nothing wrong with how you treated me. I’m the one who should be sorry. Felix told me about what Junhyun’s been doing to him and… yeah.”

Changbin blinks in surprise. “Oh.”

“Yeah, I’m uh… I’ve been stupid. Sorry.” Chan says. Then he starts fumbling around with the buttons on his jersey. “Also…”

“What are you doing?” Changbin says, taking a cautious step back.

“Here.” Chan takes off a lanyard with a whistle on it. “I don’t care what Coach Wang says. You’re the coach, not me.”

Changbin takes the whistle. “You mean I’m the _captain_.”

“Oh.” Chan shakes his. “I’m just really dumb, sorry.”

“No you’re not, dude.” Changbin says. He opens his mouth to say something else, but Chan pulls him into a hug before he can.

“I missed you a lot, Changbin.” Chan mutters. “You, me, and Jisung, we’re a buy-one-get-one.”

“Don’t know what that means, but I missed you too.” Changbin says, patting Chan on the back.

“Are we doing a group hug?” Jisung squeaks. “EVERYONE! GROUP HUG!”

“Wait, my shoulder-!” Chan protests.

“Guys, stop-!” Changbin yells, but the Weevils close in on them from both sides, crushing Chan and Changbin in the center.

Changbin sees Chan wince, but still try to smile. _Typical Chan. _

“WEEVILS ON THREE!” Changbin yells. “ONE! TWO!”

He pauses, and when nobody breaks the silence, he shouts, “THREE!”

“WEEEEEEEEEEEVILS!” The team yells in alarming unison.

Changbin’s bent over to lace his kneepads together when he feels someone tying his chest plate. “Chan I know we’re a buy-one-get-one, but…”

When Chan doesn’t say anything, Changbin looks up.

It’s Hyunjin, brow furrowed in concentration as he ties all of Changbin’s body armor laces into double knots.

“Hey, I heard about last week.” Changbin says.

“It was bad.” Hyunjin says.

“Yeah, but you’re not.” Changbin says.

Hyunjin turns his frown from the laces to Changbin’s face.

“You’re amazing at what you do, Hyunjin.” Changbin says. “It sounds fake, but you really are. Let’s crush them out there today?”

Changbin lifts a hand for a fist bump.

“Are you on drugs?” Hyunjin asks.

Changbin laughs. “No, do I look like I am?”

“No, you look good.” Hyunjin says, before looking down at the laces again. “I mean, whatever. Okay. Let’s crush them.”

Changbin wags his fist. “Don’t leave me hanging, Park Hyunjin.”

“Yup. Sorry.” Hyunjin gently taps his own fist against Changbin’s.

“If it gets crazy out there and you don’t wanna look at anyone,” Changbin says. “Just look at me.”

“Why?” Hyunjin frowns.

“Because you think I look good.” Changbin smirks.

Hyunjin tugs on his laces, hard, which makes Changbin cough. “You get one good haircut and suddenly you’re bold as fuck, _please_. You’ll never look as good as me.”

Changbin laughs. “Let’s go.”

“What the hell are you doing?”

Chan looks up to find Younghoon standing in the bleacher aisle, arms crossed and ready to kill a man. “Oh, hi, Younghoon.”

“Why are you not _there_?” Younghoon demands, pointing at the field.

“My shoulder got pulled again.” Chan grimaces.

“Goddamn it.” Younghoon groans, dumping himself on the seat next to Chan.

“It doesn’t hurt, really, the doctor just said I shouldn’t play yet.” Chan assures him, twining his good arm around one of Younghoon’s. But that doesn’t seem to work. “What’s wrong, babe?”

“I… The people from my university are here today.” Younghoon groans. “And you’re not even _playing_!”

“Great!”

“_Great? _What’s _great_ about-”

“They’ll get to watch Changbin.” Chan says.

“Really? The guy to did _that_ to your shoulder?” Younghoon asks, narrowing his eyes.

“No, no, my little brother did this. And Changbin and I are good now.” Chan smiles. “We had a group hug and everything.”

Younghoon slouches over in his seat. “This is what I get for dating a preschooler.”

“Don’t worry, Younghoon, I don’t have to be scouted.” Chan says, resting his head on Younghoon’s shoulder. “I’ll try out normally, and I’ll get in normally, and then we’ll be teammates and we’ll kick ass together.”

Younghoon turns his face to the field, as if he’s really interested in the game. He’s just trying to hide his smile.

Hyunjin takes a deep breath. He’s read his brother’s sign. He’s got to throw a straight, right down the center, just to throw the other team off for the first pitch.

He looks across at Changbin, who’s watching him through the catcher’s mask.

Hyunjin winds up and throws the pitch.

_Oops. _It was too fast.

The ball smacks into Changbin’s glove before the other team’s batter can even move.

“Strike!”

Hyunjin looks back at his brother, expecting him to look a little bummed down.

No, his brother’s smiling. And signaling something else.

Hyunjin rolls his shoulders, then pitches the ball with the gentlest curve to the right.

The ball hits Changbin’s glove again.

“Strike!”

Hyunjin sees his brother’s next signal. _Oh. Interesting. _

He throws another straight one, but this one is much slower than the first.

The batter swings too early, missing the ball as if it had gone through the metal of the bat.

“Strike!”

“Jisung!” Hyunjin yells as the ball flies past him.

“Got it!” Jisung calls, jumping to catch the ball, but it flies just a little bit out of his reach. “_Not_ got it!”

“I got it!” Felix starts running to his left, watching the ball intently.

He leaps into a jete to catch the ball, arm outstretched.

He lands on one foot, doing a quick spin in the red dust to keep himself from stumbling over.

“Look, that kid is so extra,” Younghoon says, poking Chan in the thigh.

Chan laughs as he watches Felix spin around on the diamond below. “Felix? Yeah.”

Felix knows that Changbin’s been looking at him like he wants to say something to him, but he doesn’t want to hear it. _I’m just going to play baseball the best that I can, and go home with no regrets. _Felix turns the other way, literally facing the wall, when Changbin stalls by him on his way to the dugout’s exit.

“You’re up next, Changbin,” Coach Park says.

“Yeah, thanks.”

“Bunt it.” Coach Wang says.

“Okay.” Changbin says, and Felix can see him look his way out of the corner of his eye.

_I’m going to play baseball the best that I can, _Felix repeats to himself internally. _And go home with no regrets._

“Hey,” Changbin’s voice is soft.

Felix spins all the way towards the wall, arms folded.

“I’m-”

“Haha, fuck this,” Juyeon laughs, jogging back into the dugout after giving the team their second strike out. “Good luck, Cap.”

“Thanks.” Changbin looks at Felix one more time.

Felix can see it in play out in his head. _If I keep ignoring Changbin, Changbin’ll get upset, then he’ll strike out, and this inning will be over before we can score a single point, wasting Hyunjoon on second base._

Felix sighs as he turns to Changbin with the friendliest expression he can currently muster. “Good luck, Cap.”

Changbin looks relieved. “Thanks.”

“YEAAAAH! GO CAP!!!” Hyunjoon yells from second base, making the other team’s baseman cover his ears for a second. “SEXYYYYYYY!”

Changbin laughs as he steps up to the plate. He pulls his shoulders back and lifts the bat.

He suddenly realizes that he hasn’t gone to training in two weeks.

It was kind of okay when all he had to do was squat and literally wait for the ball to fall into his glove – Hyunjin’s having a good day, thankfully enough – but at this moment, he completely forgets how to bat.

“Strike!”

_Fuck. _Changbin takes a deep breath and lifts the bat again. _I’m failing at fucking _bunting_._

“Strike!”

Changbin pulls his shoulders back. His uncle had taught him a couple of things about mindfulness and staying calm, but all of them take way more time than he has right now.

Changbin shuts his eyes, holds out the bat, and hopes for the best.

He hears the ball connect with the bat, but his eyes shoot open because it _hurts_.

He looks down at his hand. His fingers are starting to turn red where the ball had hit them.

“RUN! CAP! RUN!”

Changbin hears the ball whip past his ear as he sprints for first base. He knows there’s no way he can run faster than a ball, especially after all the pasta and pizza his uncle had stuffed him with, but he leans into it and runs as fast as his legs can carry him.

He frowns at the first baseman’s empty glove as soon as his shoe hits the base.

_So where…_

He hears the other team’s pitcher shouting something at the outfielders, and their coach joins in. Their catcher glumly throws the ball he had caught back to the pitcher.

_…did the ball go?_

“I think we should keep playing it safe.” Coach Park says. “With Hyunjoon on third-”

“If it’s a grounder it’ll get to the home plate quickly.” Coach Wang says.

They both look at Felix, who swallows.

“So what should I do?” Felix asks.

“Protect Hyunjoon at all costs.” Coach Park says.

“Yeah.” Coach Wang agrees.

_The heck does that even mean? _Felix frowns. “Okay.”

Felix picks up the bat and steps up to the plate.

_Hit the ball. _

_And run. _

Changbin’s looking at him from first base, and it’s messing with Felix’s _brain_.

_Hit the ball. _

_And run. _

_Hit the ball-_

_Stop looking at me, Seo Changbin._

Felix knows that the guy can hardly do anything else, because he needs to know when to run. But Felix can’t deal with it today.

“Strike!”

Felix takes a breath and lifts the bat again, sticking his butt out.

“KILL THEM, FELIX!” Hyunjoon shouts from third base.

“GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FELIX!” Chan howls from god knows where.

“HOO HOO HOO!” The rest of the boys chant like a choir of apes.

Felix grips the bat. _Forget Seo Changbin. I’m here for the rest of the team. _

The ball comes flying towards him, straight down the middle.

Changbin watches Felix’s eyes harden right before he swings the bat. _Please please please-_

Felix swings, and Changbin doesn’t get to see where the ball goes next. All he knows is that he hears it connect, and starts running.

He’s stepped on third when he hears another commotion. He ducks as one of the outfielders throws the ball past him. _Was he trying to hit me? _

He sees Felix hesitate for a moment on the first base before racing towards second. The other team’s shortstop is watching Felix, too.

_Felix isn’t gonna make it. _

Changbin slows down to a stop. Then he starts jogging back to the third base.

“CHANGBIN! NO!”

“RUN, CHANGBIN!”

“CHANGBIN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?”

The other team’s pitcher and shortstop both notice Changbin.

Changbin hopes that they’re dumber than they look.

“THROW IT TO SEUNGHYUN!” The shortstop shouts.

Changbin grins when the confused second baseman throws the ball, just as the pitcher starts cursing the shortstop.

Changbin sprints to home like his life depends on it.

Felix has no idea what Changbin’s on, but he doesn’t have time to think about it. He just keeps running.

He’s running as the other team’s catcher misses Changbin, then scrambles to throw the ball to third.

He’s running when the other team’s third baseman jumps to get the ball the catcher had overthrown.

And he’s running across the home plate when the other team’s pitcher lets out a string of really creative curses.

Felix stumbles all the way to the dugout. _I am _not_ built for running. _

“That was awesome, Felix!” Hyunjoon says, squeezing Felix in a hug.

Hyunjin reaches a hand out for a high-five. “Yeah, it was awesome, dude.”

“You are a god.” Dongpyo says, also going in for a hug.

Felix pats the kid on the head. “Uh, thanks?”

“You’re up, Jisung.” Coach Park says.

“Oh, great.” Jisung groans, slipping his helmet on. “How in the whole hell am I going to top _that_?”

“You don’t have to.” Coach Park sighs.

“You can’t.” Hyunjoon scoffs, dodging out of the way when Jisung threatens to whack him with the bat he’s carrying.

“Just do your best, Jisung.” Coach Park says, playfully knocking Hyunjoon on the back of his head.

_Where’s Coach Wang? _Felix thinks. _Doesn’t he have something to say…_

He looks to the far end of the dugout to find Coach Wang whispering angrily at Changbin, who’s just staring at the dusty floor and nodding.

Felix squeezes around the other guys on his way over there.

“…know the university’s representatives are here today?” Coach Wang says. “They’re looking for a good player, not a show-off.”

“I wasn’t trying to show off, Coach.”

“Well, it wasn’t worth the risk, so god knows what else I should call it.” Coach Wang glances at Felix, who freezes. “Good thing you and Felix here are on the same wavelength.”

Changbin looks up at Felix, who decides that it is time to turn around and sit all the way on the other end of the dugout.

“Kim Younghoon!”

Younghoon nudges Chan as he stands up to bow. “Good morning, Mr. Choi, Coach Woo.”

Chan stands up and bows, mumbling an approximation of what Younghoon had just said.

The university representatives nod at the boys.

“You’ll be playing for us next year, won’t you, Bang Chan?” Mr. Choi asks.

“M- Me?” Chan looks so shocked Younghoon has to roll his eyes. _As if I wouldn’t hard-sell you to the university, you idiot._

“Yeah, he will.” Younghoon says, nudging Chan again.

“Yeah, I will.” Chan echoes so robotically that Mr. Choi and Coach Woo laugh.

“He’s looking forward to it.” Younghoon adds through a forced smile.

“What’d you think of the game today, Younghoon?” Coach Woo asks.

“Uh,” Younghoon’s brow furrows as he tries to come up with the most diplomatic response to that. “I’m glad the Weevils weren’t that efficient yet when I had to play against them.”

“Yeah, it got a little dull in the last three innings, didn’t it?” Mr. Choi laughs.

Chan frowns. “Why? My teammates were doing great,” He says defensively.

Younghoon takes a deep breath. _Dear, sweet summer Chan. _

“That’s exactly why.” Younghoon whispers to him. “Sweeps are boring to watch.”

“Oh.”

“We’re all going out for pizza and chicken to celebrate,” Jisung says, putting an arm gingerly around Changbin’s shoulders. Changbin doesn’t flinch or make that angry _I’m-going-to-fight-you_ face, so Jisung relaxes a little. “You coming?”

“_Please_ do,” Hyunjoon says with a wink.

Jisung pushes Hyunjoon away. “I’ll make sure he behaves, Cap.”

“Of course I’m coming. Even Hyunjoon couldn’t stop me.” Changbin chuckles.

“Hey guys!” Chan’s running over from the stands, arms outstretched. He tackles Jisung and Changbin in a hug that seems to hurt him more than anyone else. “We’re in the semiiiiiiis!”

“Oh.” Changbin blinks. “I didn’t realize.”

“Dude, two weeks out of school can’t have made you _that_ stupid,” Jisung snorts.

Chan shoots him a sharp look. “Jisung.”

“Sorry.”

“We’re going out for pizza and chicken,” Changbin says, gently lowering Chan’s injured arm to his side. “Are you coming?”

“Of course!” Chan grins. “Can Younghoon come, too?”

“No.” Jisung forms his arms into an X. “This is a Weevils only event.”

Hyunjoon shades his mouth with one hand to whisper loudly, “He’s bitter because he and Lee Minho are on a b-r-e-a-k.”

“Shut up, Hyunjoon, you don’t know anything!” Jisung scowls, extending a leg to kick Hyunjoon, but the latter skitters off to safety. _Little bitch._

“Catch up with you guys later!”

Chan pokes Jisung in the ribs. “Everything all right with you and Minho?”

“Oh yeah, it’s nothing.” Jisung laughs. “He’s just focusing on school so he can beat their valedictorian and come out on top for graduation.”

“Oh.” Chan’s face screws up as it appears he tries to work out why anyone would even want to do that. Jisung doesn’t know, either, but he respects Minho’s weird goals.

“_Focusing on school _meaning no dates?” Changbin asks.

“Yeah.” Jisung sighs. “Not even handjobs.”

Chan looks mortified. “_What_?”

Changbin looks slightly disgusted. Then his eyes seem to pop with surprise. “Y- You guys go ahead, I’ll, uh, I’ll catch up with you guys in a minute.”

Jisung’s about to ask what the fuck is up, but Changbin’s already run off to talk to… Lee Felix, who’s sitting by the curb, kicking pebbles. _Huh. _

Jisung nudges Chan. “You think there’s anything going on there?”

“What?” Chan asks.

Jisung tries to point subtly, but he figures Chan needs a neon sign. He pokes a finger in the direction Changbin’s gone. He’s sitting next to Felix on the curb now, and they’re talking in such low voices that Jisung can’t hear a thing from where he and Chan are standing.

“You think there’s anything going on there?” Jisung asks again.

Chan shrugs. “They seem to be good friends.”

“You’re such a _zoomer_ sometimes.” Jisung grumbles.

“A what?”

“Hey Felix, can we talk?”

_Can I even stop you? _Felix thinks, scooting over on the curb. “Sure.”

Changbin sits down next to him, a respectful half meter away. “I just wanted to explain myself.”

“Sure.”

“You don’t have to forgive me or anything, I’ll understand if you’re still mad at me,” Changbin says. “I would be, if I were you.”

Felix kicks another pebble into the street. “I’m not that mad. It’d be pretty _sad_ if I were that angry over someone just hanging up on me.”

“I didn’t.” Changbin says quickly. He’s looking at Felix with so much intense focus that Felix wants this conversation to be over. “I know this sounds like such a shitty excuse, but my phone broke and it wouldn’t turn on again. I didn’t get a new one until yesterday evening, and I haven’t been able to set it up.”

Felix kicks another pebble. “It does sound like a shitty excuse.”

“It’s the truth. I can’t help it. Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize.” Felix says. “It’s not your fault your phone conked out.”

“I know, but I was worried I’d hurt your feelings.” Changbin says. “And I don’t want you to think I’m rude or mean or anything like that.”

Felix kicks another pebble into the street. _Don’t take it like that, Felix, he doesn’t mean it like that._

“You should catch up with the other guys.” Felix says. “Looks like they’re leaving soon.”

“It’s okay can just take the bus on my own.” Changbin says. “And you’re invited, too. We wouldn’t be in the semis without you.”

Felix kicks another pebble. It’s the last one big enough for him to kick. “It’s okay. You go. Anyway I’m not mad at you anymore.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“I might change my mind if you keep asking me.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

Felix looks at Changbin, lifting his eyebrows as if to say, _Just go already. What are you still doing here?_

Changbin stands up, but he hesitates before leaving. He hesitates for a long time.

Felix sighs. “You know what I’m really mad about?”

“I thought you said you weren’t mad at me anymore?” Changbin looks worried.

“That’s just it, I realize I wasn’t really angry with you,” Felix says. “I was more pissed at myself for thinking that you might actually… Oh god, I can’t even say it.”

Felix laughs at himself, burying his burning red face in his hands.

“Felix,” Changbin says gently. “I-”

Felix wonders where the rest of Changbin’s sentence has gone. He looks up from his hands to see Changbin watching a dark car roll into the stadium’s parking lot. It’s still quite far off, but Felix can kind of see that it’s Changbin’s parents in the car.

Felix feels sick when he sees them.

He looks up at Changbin, fully expecting him to pretend he doesn’t know Felix.

“Can I please have your number?” Changbin asks Felix, still watching the car come closer. “So I can call you when I figure my new phone out.”

“W- What?” Felix asks.

“Can I have your number, please?” Changbin asks again, looking down at Felix with such a tender look that Felix’s knees turn to jelly.

“I don’t have a pen.” Felix says, starting to panic.

“Just tell me the number, I’ll memorize it.” Changbin says urgently.

Felix’s mouth feels numb as he recites the digits. “Did you get it?”

Changbin’s mumbling the numbers to himself, nodding. “Okay, got it. I’ll try to call you later.”

“Okay.” Felix finds himself standing up when Changbin runs to intercept his parents’ car. “Bye!”

Changbin waves without turning around. “Bye!”

“I’m going out for pizza with the other guys.” Changbin says, leaning on the car door. His mom’s rolled the window down so she can frown at him.

“We’re having a family lunch at home, since you just got back from your trip.”

“You’re the ones who sent me on that trip anyway,” Changbin says. Then he takes a deep breath and sighs. “Fine, okay. Can I just let the other guys know?”

“Yes.”

Changbin’s mom looks utterly confused as Changbin climbs into the back seat a few moments later.

“How was the game?” Changbin’s dad asks.

“Good.” Changbin says. “We won.”

“Oh, good.” Changbin’s dad says.

“We’re in the semifinals.”

“Really?” Changbin’s dad nods as he turns the car out of the stadium’s parking lot. “That’s great.”

“Congratulations, Changbin.” Changbin’s mom says.

Changbin wonders if his parents are acting weird, or if he’s just seeing things weirdly. _Uncle told me to look out for that. _

_No, this is definitely them acting weird. _

“Why are we having lunch?” Changbin asks.

His parents exchange glances.

“Let’s save it for when we get home.” Changbin’s mom says.

“Tell us more about the game.” Changbin dad suggests.

“Okay.” Changbin says, setting uncomfortably in his seat. “I got a home run today.”

“That’s great.”

“That’s wonderful, Changbin.”


	38. “Mr. Tuan deserves to get laid.”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh....

Changbin looks down at the lunch table. His parents rarely buy food from outside, since it’s so expensive, but they’d decided to buy from _two _different restaurants today.

“Sit down, Changbin.” Changbin’s mom frowns up at him. “What are you waiting for?”

Changbin opens his mouth to say something, but he gives up. He pulls his chair back carefully and sits down. “Thanks for the food.”

“You’re welcome.” Changbin’s mom says, looking surprised.

“So, what did you and your uncle talk about?” Changbin’s dad asks as he cuts into a whole rack of ribs.

_Is that what this is? They’re trying to wheedle things out of me with food? _

“Oh, just stuff. He’s a good therapist.” Changbin says.

Changbin’s dad smiles. “Really?”

“Yeah.” Changbin nods and murmurs a quick thanks when his dad puts some ribs on _his_ plate before than his own. _Maybe I should just take it, because they’re being a good weird. Good weird is good? Since our normal is pretty bad?_

“Did he ask about us?” Changbin’s mom asks, putting a stack of salad on Changbin’s plate.

“Yeah, I told him you were working for J______ Air and dad’s got the car shop,” Changbin says.

“That’s all he asked? What our occupations were?” Changbin’s mom scoffs.

“Yeah, we mostly talked about me,” Changbin says. “Like school, what I want to study in university, things like that.”

“Oh.” Changbin’s mom looks pleasantly surprised. “That’s nice. We should talk about things like that more.”

_This is too weird. What the hell happened while I was gone?_

“About that,” Changbin says carefully. He doesn’t know if he’s serious, or if he’s just trying to stir things up, but he carries on anyway. “I was thinking of applying to S_______ University.”

His parents both stop cutting their food and fall silent.

“They’re still open for applications?” Changbin’s mom asks quietly.

“Late applications.” Changbin says.

“You won’t get a scholarship if you apply late.” Changbin’s dad says. “And that’s school’s very expensive.”

“I know.” Changbin says. “Uncle Minki said he can cover my first year, so I can apply for-”

“Absolutely not.” Changbin’s dad says sharply.

Changbin’s mom shoots an irritated look in his direction before turning to Changbin. “Did he really say that?”

“Yes.” Changbin says. “Just one year. Then I have to find a scholarship for the rest.”

Changbin’s dad puts his knife down. “I told you we shouldn’t have let him stay with Minki, he’d just spoil Changbin-”

“I think it’s good for Changbin to have opportunities.” Changbin’s mom says. She places another stack of salad on Changbin’s plate, though he hasn’t touched the first bunch she put there. “Apply for S_______ University, Changbin.”

“We’re not sending him there.” Changbin’s dad says.

“Why not?” Changbin asks. “You went there.”

Changbin’s dad’s entire face falls. “Did Minki tell you that?”

Changbin’s entire face flushes. “Sorry.”

“It’s true, I did go there, but it’s just too expensive for us.” Changbin’s dad says. “And it’s too much stress to have to keep up a scholarship, Changbin, you would hate it. Trust me.”

Changbin pokes at the entire garden of salad his mom’s put on his plate. “I think I could do it.”

“Besides, the competition for scholarships in the business school is really tough.” Changbin’s dad says.

“What’s he going to lose from trying?” Changbin’s mom asks.

“None of that is free, not even _trying_.” Changbin’s dad says.

“I can find a part-time job to pay you back for whatever I need,” Changbin wipes the condensation off the side of his glass.

“Well,” Changbin’s dad sighs. “I guess it’ll be good to have some experience working in the family business before you study it.”

“Actually,” Changbin says. “I don’t want to study business.”

Changbin works very hard to ignore the blank stares his parents are giving him.

“I want to take civil engineering.” Changbin says quietly, barely above a whisper. He’s never said it out loud, and he knows things aren’t going to end well, but it feels good to say it out loud.

“That’s good.” Changbin’s mom says. “There’s a lot of money there.”

“What about…” Changbin’s dad makes a face. “Automotive engineering?”

“No, dad, I don’t even like cars.” Changbin sighs.

“You don’t have to like cars that much, I didn’t when I was younger.” Changbin’s dad says. “But you’re going to get the shop-”

“Get a clue, Dongho, he doesn’t want the shop.” Changbin’s mom says. “Why would _anyone_ want that shop?”

“It’s a good business, it just needs some work!”

“Why don’t you fix it, then!”

Changbin pokes at his salad.

“At least I’m thinking about his future! _Civil engineering_? Do you know what the competition’s like out there for engineers? I don’t want him to end up unemployed-”

“Why won’t you let your son aspire for something greater than the goddamned shop? You really want him to end up like you?”

“What’s so wrong with that? I’m _fine_!” Changbin’s dad smacks his hands on the table as he stands up, sending the edge bumping into Changbin’s and his mother’s ribs.

Changbin’s mother pushes her chair back. “You’re up to your neck in debt.”

“At least I don’t quit when things get difficult.” Changbin’s dad says.

“Hmph.” Changbin’s mom huffs as she puts her plate in the sink. “You really think I’m like that? I could’ve quit years ago. I probably should’ve.”

Changbin frowns up at her.

“You can think whatever you want of me, I don’t care,” Changbin’s mom says, laying her glass in the sink a little roughly. The glass cracks loudly. “But I held on until now, and I’m proud of that.”

Changbin’s dad looks at Changbin anxiously. “I thought we were going to tell him-”

“Changbin?” Changbin’s mom says.

“Yes?”

“Your dad and I are getting a divorce.” Changbin’s mom says. Then she smiles, her shoulders easing up in relief. She spins on one heel and starts down the hallway to the room.

Changbin feels lightheaded as he turns back to his dad. Changbin’s dad kicks an unfortunate chair, which skids into the wall, then heads for the front door without saying another word.

“Dad, wait-”

The front door slams. A few seconds later, Changbin hears the car starting up downstairs.

Changbin knocks on his parents’ bedroom door. “Mom?”

His mom opens the door. “Come in. Let’s talk.”

“What do I do with all the food?”

“We have a lot of neighbors who’ll gladly take it off our hands.” Changbin’s mom waves a hand dismissively. “Let’s talk first.”

Changbin steps into his parents’ room. He hadn’t noticed it until now, but hardly anything in here seems to belong to his dad. The racks and shelves along the wall are full of his mom’s clothes and bags, and the vanity is brimming with his mom’s makeup and jewelry. Even the bedsheet’s covered in a deep rose print that Changbin’s sure his dad doesn’t like.

His mom sits at the vanity, so Changbin has no other choice but to perch at the edge of the rose-covered bed.

“Well?” Changbin’s mom asks. “Do you have any questions for me? I’m sure you do.”

Changbin shakes his head.

“Really?” Changbin’s mom lifts her eyebrows skeptically. “You? I doubt it.”

“Dad’s not cheating on you.” Changbin says.

“Oh, I know,” Changbin’s mom scoffs. “He can’t do better than me in _this_ city.”

“So why are you getting a divorce?”

“Aren’t you the one who was complaining about our fighting?” Changbin’s mom asks. “Won’t you be glad it’s over? I know I’ll be.”

Changbin doesn’t see how she can be so calm about ending a nearly 20-year relationship. “Don’t you love him?”

“I like him when he’s a good mood, and we’ve been together so long that I don’t think anyone knows him better than I do.” Changbin’s mom says. Her expression turns sour. “But do I _love_ him? No.”

Changbin looks down at the dusty, off-white carpet.

“I was never a sentimental person, and I know you’re not, either.” Changbin’s mom says. “So let’s cut to the chase: I’m going to move out in a while, and I think your dad is going to sell this place.”

Changbin frowns.

“You’ll technically be a legal adult in a few months, but we’re not so cold-hearted that we’ll throw you out on the streets the minute you do.” Changbin’s mom continues. “But you’re going to have to decide whom you’re going to live with.”

Changbin’s shoulders sag.

“I’m moving out to Busan, so you’ll have to apply to university there if you want to live with me.” Changbin’s mom says. “Your dad’s probably going to board in the house next to the auto shop, so you’ll be a boarder too, if you stay with him. No way can he afford the dorm, even though _________ University’s dirt cheap.” Changbin’s mom makes a face. “Are you _crying_?”

Changbin blinks, hot tears rolling down his cheeks. “Did you ever love him?”

“Jesus, Changbin. I don’t even know what that word means, and I doubt you do, either.” Changbin’s mom groans. “What kind of stupid things has Minki gotten into your head?”

“It’s not stupid.” Changbin murmurs.

“Just make a decision, okay? If you don’t have a decision in two weeks, we’ll decide for you.”

Hyunjin holds up one shirt in front of his torso and looks in the mirror. Then he holds up another shirt, looking at his reflection. _Which one…_

He hears the front door slam, and voices in the living room. _Shit._

_What time is it? Why is he home? Aaaaaaaaaa- _

Hyunjin dives into his brother’s closet, burrowing into the pile of clothes at the bottom of it.

The door to Jinyoung’s room opens.

“Do you even understand the _week_ I’ve been through?”

Hyunjin frowns. _Mr. Tuan?_

“Of course I do, that’s why I wasn’t bothering you,” Jinyoung says.

“No, when I’m having a shitty week, that’s when you _should_ be “bothering” me.” Mr. Tuan says.

“We’ve both had a busy week, can we just leave it at that?”

“Seriously?”

Hyunjin’s heart stops when his brother opens his closet. “Do you need to borrow clothes, Mark?”

“You really think I’m spending the night here?”

“I… Yes?”

_Oh god, hyung, what are you doing? What are you doing, hyung?_

“Why, because it’s convenient for you?”

“Yeah, and for you, too. Right?”

“Oh my god.” Mr. Tuan groans. “You’re so- I can’t fucking deal with the sheer amount of _bullshit_-”

“Hey, hey, Mark, come on,” Jinyoung says gently. “What did I say? Tell me what I did wrong, I won’t do it again.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes, please explain things to me because clearly I don’t understand a thing.”

“I can see why all your exes left you.”

“Mark, please.” Jinyoung says. “I l- I like you.”

_Oh god,_ Hyunjin thinks, cringing from where he’s still safely hidden under a pile of clothes. 

“Okay, fine. I’m going to play along and act like you really don’t understand-”

“I really don’t.”

“_Sure_.” Mr. Tuan takes a deep breath. “Okay, so a relationship, even something weird like ours, whatever the fuck it is, it’s not something you can just switch off when it’s not convenient. You can’t just like me when you have the time to, and ignore me when you don’t have the time. If you like me, you have to like me all the time, whether you’re busy or I’m busy or not.”

“I do like you all the time.”

“Well, I’m supposed to feel it! I’m supposed to fucking know! That you like me!”

“Don’t you?”

“Oh my god.” Hyunjin hears the door open. “I can’t believe I’m going to lose my job and my not-boyfriend in the same week. This is fucking-”

Hyunjin’s waiting for the door to close, but it doesn’t. _Are they gone? Can I come out now? I don’t want to suffocate to death in my brother’s closet._

Hyunjin’s just propped himself up on his elbows when he hears another noise, and footsteps stumbling back into the room.

“You can’t just kiss me to shut me up, Jinyoung. You’re not a good enough kisser for that.”

“I wasn’t trying to shut you up.”

“Of course you weren’t.” Hyunjin hears the door creak open again. “I’m leaving.”

Jinyoung’s voice cracks as he asks, “Are you breaking up with me?”

“Well, there’s nothing to break up, is there?”

Hyunjin frowns. _Mr. Tuan doesn’t have to be so mean._

“Bye, Jinyoung.”

“Wait, Mark-”

The door slams.

Hyunjin doesn’t hear anything for some time, so he slowly crawls out of the closet.

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT!” Jinyoung screams, diving behind the chair at his desk. “HYUNJIN, WHAT THE _FUCK_!”

“SORRY!” Hyunjin screams back.

“What the hell were you doing there?” Jinyoung throws one of his house slippers at his brother’s head. He nails it, obviously.

Hyunjin pretends he doesn’t notice his brother drying his eyes on the back of his hand. “I was gonna borrow some clothes for my party later.”

“Oh, sure, take whatever you want.”

“Really?” Hyunjin grins.

“Really.”

Hyunjin spins back to Jinyoung’s closet and takes the first shirt he’d been looking at, and the nice denim jacket hanging on the chair.

“How long were you in there?” Jinyoung asks.

“Uh…” Hyunjin lowers the jacket back on the chair. _That’s a bit much. _“Uh…”

“You heard everything, didn’t you?”

Hyunjin turns back to his brother slowly. _Is he mad? I can’t tell. _“Yes.”

“I’m sorry you had to hear all that.”

_Oh. He’s not mad. _“It’s okay, hyung. Relationship stuff is hard.”

“Tell me about it.” Jinyoung flops back to lay on his bed. He doesn’t usually let his outside clothes touch even his bedcover, but he doesn’t seem to care much right now. “I thought it would be easier this time, because I’ve messed up so many times before.”

Hyunjin waddles over to the edge of the bed and sits down. “Doesn’t matter how many times you mess up if you don’t learn from it.”

Jinyoung looks up at him with an amused grin on his face. “When did you get so wise?”

“I mess up everything, too.” Hyunjin sighs.

Jinyoung reaches out and pats his brother’s hand. “I have the feeling something went wrong with us that wasn’t our fault.”

Hyunjin frowns. “You can’t blame our parents because you can’t keep a boyfriend. I mean, sorry. Sorry.”

Jinyoung snorts. “That is the weirdest sentence you’ve said in a while.”

Hyunjin smoothens out the shirt he’s holding in his lap. He looks over at his brother, whose eyes are closed. “I think Mr. Tuan really likes you, hyung.”

“Really?” Jinyoung lets out a self-deprecating chuckle. “Why do you think so?”

“He let you kiss him for a whole minute before he stopped you.” Hyunjin says. “I know. I was holding my breath.”

Jinyoung starts laughing. “Oh god, I’m really so sorry-”

“Also I think Mr. Tuan’s great and it makes me really mad to think of what he’s been through this week.” Hyunjin says. “So for his sake I kind of want you to go after him and sort things out and have him sleep here and everything.”

Jinyoung blinks at Hyunjin. “So you’re saying…”

“Mr. Tuan deserves to get laid.”

“Okay, _that_ is the weirdest sentence you’ve said in a while.”

“I mean, he deserves to be happy.” Hyunjin shakes his head. “Please try to make him happy.”

“I _did_.”

“Try harder.”

Jinyoung sits up in bed, and he looks pretty pissed, so Hyunjin hops off the bed and scrambles away. “I can’t believe this is coming from you. I just can’t.”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Jinyoung sighs, reaching for the jacket on the chair. “I’m going to try to talk to him, but I’ll be back to drop you off at your party.”

“I’ll find a ride. Don’t worry about me.”

“You won’t drink?” Jinyoung lifts an eyebrow.

Hyunjin frowns at him. “I can live without drinking.”

Changbin’s been walking for the past two hours. He’s not headed anywhere in particular; he’s just been walking around the city in the cool, slightly damp night air.

He’d stopped outside Jisung’s family’s café. He saw Jisung and his uncle laughing inside, and didn’t feel like barging in on them with his _problems. _

He feels like he’s carrying a ticking time bomb, and he’s looking for somewhere safe to be when it goes off. _Somewhere with the least collateral damage._

_Call me if anything comes up, _his uncle had said before bringing Changbin to meet up with his parents. _I’m sorry I don’t have a paper, but my number is…_

Changbin still remembers it. And Felix’s number, too.

_I should call Felix. _

But he’d opened the box of his new phone again, after talking to his mom, and he’s just felt too guilty to power it up. He doesn’t know what he’s feeling guilty of, but he just feels like he doesn’t deserve to have a new, nice thing right now. _And I don’t deserve Uncle Minki’s kindness. And I don’t deserve Felix’s, either. _

“Changbin?”

Changbin frowns as someone ducks out of the nearby waiting shed, waving at him.

“Hey, Changbin!” Hyunjin calls out, both hands cupped around his mouth, though he’s not far away.

Changbin doesn’t want to dump his problems on Hyunjin, either. “Hi. Where are you going?”

“Party at Chaeyoung’s.”

“What for?”

Hyunjin shrugs. “Nothing, it’s just a party.”

“Oh.” Changbin didn’t realize people threw parties for no reason. He always thought there was a birthday or something else worth celebrating.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m just out for a walk.”

“Wanna come with?” Hyunjin asks.

Changbin frowns at him. “No, I don’t think… I’m sure nobody wants me at their party, Hyunjin, after what happened…”

_They probably all think I’m a thug at school. _

_Tomorrow’s going to be _hell_,_ Changbin thinks. _I’m _not_ looking forward to that._

“Chaeyoung knows the truth, and so do I.” Hyunjin says. “No one else’s opinion matters.”

Changbin smiles a little bit. _Things are so simple with Hyunjin. Imagine living like that. _

“So, you wanna come with?”

Changbin stuffs his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket-hoodie. His parents aren’t really expecting him home, or at least they have no way of contacting him, since his new phone’s still sitting in its box back home. His only worry is that he’ll stay out all night and they won’t care.

“Sure.”

“Chaeyoung, it’s cool that I brought Changbin, right?” Hyunjin says, holding the door open for the both of them.

“Of course! Hi Changbin, you look really cute today,” Chaeyoung says, enveloping Changbin in a hug before he can say no. “I like your jacket.”

“Thanks.”

“Okay, so I’m currently trying to keep the party down to the lower ground floor and the garden, but some people have spilled over to the pool and uh…” Chaeyoung makes a low, stressed noise, like a small woodland creature trapped in bright headlights. “I’m just trying keep people out of the bedrooms, honestly, can you guys help me with that?”

“Okay.” Hyunjin shrugs. He looks at Changbin. “Is that okay with you?”

“Yeah.”

“A man of few words, I see.” Chaeyoung chuckles. “Anyway, you don’t have to be like, _police_ or anything, just have a good time. I’ll try to catch up with you guys later?”

“See you later.”

“See you.”

Hyunjin finds Changbin half an hour later, flipping a chocolate coin on the coffee table the living room. Hyunjin watches two different people try to talk to him, and watches Changbin grunt out one-syllable responses until they get bored and walk away.

“Hey,” Hyunjin says, sitting down on the rug next to Changbin. “Are you having fun?”

Changbin flips the chocolate coin. “No.”

“Hey, hey,” Hyunjin swipes the coin out of the air, tucking it behind his back. “Is something up? You wanna talk about it?”

“You’re not my therapist.”

“I know,” Hyunjin says, frowning. “But I’m a person that you helped out when I was having a shitty time, so I’m trying to return the favor.”

“Is that why you brought me here?”

“Kinda.”

“Well, thanks, Hyunjin, I think you’ve done enough.”

Hyunjin sighs and leans against the nearby couch. “I’m starting to see how boring parties are without alcohol.”

Changbin chuckles. “Oh, there’s alcohol? Let’s just drink.”

“I’ve got to stay sober tonight. Hyung’s not picking me up, so I’ve got to be sober enough to get a ride home from someone.” Hyunjin says.

“I’ll take you home.” Changbin says, standing up.

“What?”

“Are you drunk already? I said, I’ll take you home.” Changbin says. “I just really, really need a drink right now.”

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOOHOOOOOOHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA 👁3👁


	39. “Stupid kids really think cheating’s worth it.” – Park Jaehyung

_Sunday afternoon_

“Who was that you were talking to?” Felix’s dad asks when Felix gets into the car. It’s a rental, and it smells like one, but it’s all they’ve got while his dad’s car is still in the shop.

Felix makes a face at his dad. “Whom?”

“The cute guy you were talking to.”

“How long have you just been parked there, Dad?”

“A _while_.” Felix’s dad smirks. “I didn’t want to interrupt.”

Felix turns to window because his face is starting to feel warm, but it’s not from a sunburn. “It was just Changbin, Dad.”

“That was Changbin? _Seo_ Changbin?” Felix’s dad’s eyes bug out. “When did he get so cute?”

“He had a haircut.”

“Well damn, I want a haircut like that.”

“I don’t think it would suit you, Dad.”

Felix’s dad looks away from the road to narrow his eyes at his son. “Meanie.”

_Monday, noon_

Felix is in a full squat to get his lunchbox from his locker. He’d like to think he’s getting taller, but he figures it’s more likely that his locker’s sinking into the ground.

He hears one of the upper lockers creak open.

Felix looks up. “Oh, hey, Cap!”

Changbin stares at him, frozen to the spot with one hand putting a book in his locker.

Felix gets up and brushes his knees off. “Let me guess, you still haven’t set your phone up.”

“No, I haven’t.”

Felix rolls his eyes. “I could help you with that, you know. What kind of phone is it?”

“An iPhone 11.”

Felix’s eyebrows shoot up before he can stop them.

“My uncle got it for me,” Changbin explains, his face reddening. “It’s a birthday present.”

“It’s not your birthday.” Felix says, but Changbin looks so embarrassed that he adds, “But sure, I can help you with that.”

“Thanks, but I’m fine.” Changbin says. “Sorry I wasn’t able to call you.”

“It’s okay. I prefer talking irl,” Felix shrugs, bending over to shut his locker. “Have you had lunch, Cap?”

“No.”

“Wanna have lunch together?”

Changbin seems to hesitate for a second. “Okay, but I have to take a make-up test in thirty minutes.”

“Sure, you can study while we’re eating.” Felix shrugs. “I won’t bother you.”

_Sunday evening_

Felix’s papa knocks on his door. “Felix, go to bed. You have school tomorrow.”

Felix scrambles to pause his music. “Okay! Night, Papa!”

“Goodnight.”

Felix turns off his Bluetooth speaker and connects his phone to his head phones, grinning. _Foolish Papa. I’m a teenager, I won’t listen even if it’s for my own good._

He scrubs the video on his phone back a few seconds and watches intently as Gene Kelly splashes around in milky water.

Felix rests the phone on his desk and tiptoes over to the empty space he’s cleared in the middle of his room (his chargers and controllers are tangled in a nest under his bed right now, but that’s Tomorrow Felix’s problem).

_I’m singin’ in the rain, _Gene Kelly sings, and Felix copies his little skip, taking care to land really lightly on his feet so his parents don’t hear. _Just singin’ in the rain!_

_What a glorious feeling, I’m happy again!_

Felix smiles as he grabs onto his bedpost and tries to swing around it.

The top of the bedpost snaps off, and Felix crashes onto the floor, sliding until he knocks over his chair.

He shuts his eyes in embarrassment when he hears the shuffling and footsteps in the next room.

Felix’s papa knocks on the door. “Felix? Are you okay?”

“Yes, dad, I just stubbed my toe.” Felix says, looking down at broken piece of bedpost in his hand. _Cheap ass piece of shit._

“Okay, be careful.”

_Monday, noon_

“I started dancing again.” Felix says, breaking into the near-silence that had just been him and Changbin chewing on their respective sandwiches.

Changbin looks away from the notebook he’d been staring at for the past ten minutes. He smiles at Felix so warmly that it tickles Felix’s insides, and with the gentle light filtering onto their table through the trees above, Felix feels like he’s watching a movie.

“Can I see?” Changbin asks.

“Oh, sure. It’s gonna sound a bit weird on grass, but whatever,” Felix laughs, brushing his pants off as he stands up. “Also I don’t have music, so I’m just gonna sing it, sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Changbin closes his notebook and puts both feet up on his seat as he turns to watch.

Felix starts humming, tapping his feet lightly on the soft, damp grass. He only manages to get around thirty-two counts in before he starts laughing.

Changbin’s laughing, too. “I’m sorry Felix, you’re good but the grass…”

“It’s anti-ASMR.” Felix agrees.

Changbin laughs so hard his eyes disappear. “_Anti-ASMR_.”

Felix flops onto the seat next to Changbin’s. “Anyway, yeah, I’ve been trying that out again.”

“It’s really good.” Changbin says. “You’re really good at dancing.”

Felix takes a sip of water from his thermos to hide his warm cheeks. He hasn’t seen Changbin this calm and happy in a long time, and he’s itching to ask what happened, obviously, but he respects Changbin’s privacy too much to do it. _Also, how would I even word that? “Hey Changbin, why are you not gloomy and grumpy today?” The fuck?_

_You know what, I don’t care. It’s nice to see him like this._

“Do I have something on my face?” Changbin asks with a small chuckle.

Felix hadn’t realized he’s staring. He looks down at the anti-ASMR grass quickly. “No, sorry.”

When he looks up, Changbin hasn’t opened his notebook again.

“Your city on Minecraft’s nearly finished.” Changbin says. His smile is infectious.

Felix’s face is so warm he thinks he might have a fever. _Changbin has to stop. Stop talking. To me. Like _that_. I physically cannot survive it. I’ll die. _

Felix remembers his livestream the other weekend, and begins to well and truly crave for death.

“Uh, about that…” Felix says, twisting the cap of his thermos on and off anxiously. “What I said… about you…”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t mean it like…” Felix says. “I uh, um, I should’ve said it to you first before announcing it to the whole internet. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, you didn’t know I was watching.” Changbin says.

“That’s even worse. I don’t care if other people know it or not, I just want you to.” The cap on Felix’s thermos gets stuck. “Know. That I like you. A lot.”

Changbin nods slowly, but he doesn’t say anything.

“I’m not saying this because I want you to say something or do something in return, it’s not like that.” Felix explains. “I just want you to know that I… I know you’ve been having a rough time lately – I don’t need to know what it is, I’m not asking!”

Changbin smiles a little bit. “I didn’t say anything.”

“Yeah, okay, I’m going to calm down. Calm down.” Felix sinks into his seat, shutting his eyes. _Please eat me whole, picnic table. Please. _He doesn’t open his eyes as he says, “I just want you to know that I care about you, and I’ve got your back no matter what. Let me fight for you once in a while.”

Felix peeks one eye open. “Changbin?”

Changbin’s expression has gone pretty serious. “I’m sorry, Felix.”

“It’s okay.” Felix says, waving his hands to shoo away whatever it is between them. “You don’t have to like me back the same way, it’s okay.”

“That’s really okay with you?”

Felix’s chest hurts, like he’d just run around the field fifty times. “Yeah.”

Changbin sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize for the way you feel, Changbin.” Felix says. “You can’t control it.”

“No,” Changbin says in a low voice. “I can’t.”

Felix picks up his thermos and tries to unscrew the cap, but it seems stuck. “Anyway, you probably shouldn’t be late for your test.”

“Yeah.” Changbin picks up his notebook and stands up. The wind blows over them, flipping Felix’s brown paper bag over until it tumbles off the table. Changbin bends over to pick it up.

“No, it’s okay I can get that, no…” Felix sighs, as Changbin tucks the paper bag under Felix’s lunchbox to keep it from getting blown away. “Thanks.”

“I wish I could be the person who’s right for you, Felix, I really do.” Changbin says, clutching his notebook so tightly it’s starting to crumple. “I’m sorry I’m not.”

Felix spends the rest of his lunch in the library, scrolling aimlessly through his feeds. He has some stuff for read for History, which is in a few minutes, but he’s decided he’s going to bullshit his way through that class today. _Sorry, Teacher Ahn._

He puts his airpods on and plays a video of some guy cutting through a marshmallow with what looks like a red-hot knife. The marshmallow bubbles and blisters, getting scorched to a crusty black as the knife slices through it.

_It’s me_, Felix thinks sadly. _I’m the marshmallow._

He opens his Instagram aimlessly, because he’s already checked all the apps he actually uses.

He turns the volume down and opens his friends’ stories.

Jisung’s story seems to be full of Minho studying, while Jisung tries out every possible filter on him.

_“Stop it, Jisung.”_

_“Sorry.”_

Jisung turns the camera to himself and sticks out his tongue.

Jeongin’s trying to get his little sister to call him “oppa”.

_“Boba!” _Yuna giggles excitedly.

_“No, no, Yuna, o-ppa. Say it with me, o…ppa.”_

_“BOBA!”_

Chan’s younger sister is trying to teach him some Tiktok dance.

Chan’s not doing a very good job of it, but at least he doesn’t look like he’s getting injured.

Hyunjin’s got another mirror selfie and a peace sign. He’s wearing some mustard yellow button-down with parrots on it. Felix thinks it looks nice.

Dongpyo’s having dinner at his grandma’s again, and he films the dinner his grandma’s made with accompanying narration.

_“And this is the soup,” _Dongpyo says, zooming in on the soup until the video goes fuzzy, probably from the steam. _“Hello, soup.”_

Felix smiles. _Good kid._

The next person is Hyunjoon, whom Felix doesn’t even remember following. But he’s got nothing better to do, so he lets it play anyway.

Hyunjoon’s videos are all dark, shaky, and noisy. Felix assumes he’s at a party.

_“SHOOOOOOOOOOTS!” _Hyunjoon yells, so loudly that his phone’s microphone picks up nothing but a loud buzz.

Felix winces and plucks one earbud out. _Gosh, Hyunjoon._

He skips through the rest of them, because he couldn’t care less about Hyunjoon’s party.

_Wait a second. _

He flips back to one of the videos sandwiched in the middle.

_GET IT PARK HYUNJIN _👅👅💦💦💦_, _Hyunjoon’s caption reads in big ugly white text.

The video’s shaky and dim, and grainier than Minecraft like the rest of Hyunjoon’s videos, so Felix is frowning at it for a long time.

He turns up the brightness on his phone a little bit.

_Oh. _

There’s a tall figure in a mustard yellow shirt – Hyunjin, definitely – sitting on a couch. But there’s someone else on top of him, probably wearing all black, because Felix can’t really figure out who it is. All he can see is that Hyunjin’s hands are on this person’ ass, and this person is _all over_ Hyunjin.

_It’s none of my business whom Hyunjin’s making out with anyway. _Felix starts to skip the video when Hyunjin lets out an annoyed squawk.

_ “Hyunjoon! What the hell!” _Hyunjin shouts, and Hyunjoon’s camera gets shakier as Felix guesses he starts running away.

_“Get back here, Heo Hyunjoon!” _Another voice shouts.

_“Oh fuck I’m gonna dieee!” _Hyunjoon giggles, right before the video cuts.

Felix stops and plays the video again.

_“Get back here, Heo Hyunjoon!”_

Felix frowns.

_That’s Changbin._

“You’re done?” Coach Park looks up at Changbin when the latter hands in his paper only ten minutes after he’d received it.

Changbin flips the paper over to show that he’s answered everything. “Yes.”

“Are you sure? You have thirty more minutes to check-”

“No, thank you.”

Changbin walks out of the classroom to find someone leaning on the lockers opposite.

“Hey.” Hyunjin says.

“Hi.” Changbin clutches his notebook self-consciously. “Were you waiting for me?”

“What? No.” Hyunjin shakes his head aggressively. “I was waiting for my brother.”

“Oh.” Changbin feels like even more of an idiot, if that was possible. “I think he’s checking my paper.”

“Okay.” Hyunjin shrugs and stuffs his hands in his pockets. “Have you had lunch?”

“Yeah.”

“I haven’t.” Hyunjin laughs. “Hyung forgot to give me allowance this morning.”

Changbin looks back at the classroom, then back to Hyunjin. “I could lend you some money.”

“Thanks, Changbin, but I’ll just bother hyung.” Hyunjin pats Changbin on the arm as he heads for the classroom door. “HYUUUNG! GIVE ME MONEY! I’M HUNGRY!!!”

Changbin steps out of the way while Coach Park leans out of the classroom, grumbling about capitalism. He hands his brother a thin stack of bills.

Coach Park notices Changbin, and adds another bill. “Go get Changbin an ice cream or something.”

“Why?” Changbin frowns.

“As thanks for hauling Hyunjin’s drunk ass home last night.” Coach Park smiles, before stepping back into the classroom and closing the door.

Hyunjin and Changbin exchange uncomfortable looks.

“Uh, about last night…” Hyunjin starts, fiddling with the money he’d just gotten from his brother.

“It was nice.” Changbin says.

“Yeah.” Hyunjin smiles. “It was.”

Felix climbs the last set of stairs to the top floor of the school building. Everyone else is in class, so there’s no one else in the hallway. Felix’s footsteps echo as he walks to the opposite end. He taps out a rhythm, smiling to himself as he does.

He turns the doorknob to the dance studio and steps inside.

_Something’s wrong. _

He’s expecting the dance studio to be full of random stuff and dust, but all of the boxes and things that are usually in there are gone. Instead, he finds himself staring at the vice principal and his PE teacher standing in there, staring back at him.

“Lee Felix?” The PE teacher frowns. “What are you doing here?”

Felix is frozen to the spot, and his tongue’s gone numb. The dance room’s freshly mopped and polished, and the mirror is clean enough for you to see your reflection in it, for once.

“Shouldn’t you be in class?” The vice principal asks, giving him an icy stare.

Felix regains enough control of his feet to stumble backward, knocking into the doorframe. He collects himself and runs out the door.

Changbin holds his duffel bag close to his chest as Coach Park’s car goes over another speed bump. Felix knocks into his elbow, and Hyunjin’s ear brushes his. _I should’ve just taken the bus. I should’ve taken the fucking bus today. _

“You guys good back there?” Coach Park asks.

“No!” Jisung whines from where he’s squished between Hyunjin and the door.

“I told you, we could’ve switched.” Chan says, turning around in the passenger seat with a guilty pout.

“Your shoulder, Chan.” Coach Park says sternly.

Chan sinks back into his seat obediently. “Sorry.”

Felix had turned almost his entire torso, until all Changbin can see is the back of his head and a little bit of one ear. Changbin can’t tell what Felix is feeling, but whatever it is, he definitely doesn’t seem to want to even _see_ Changbin.

_Hyunjoon must’ve told him, that little shit. _

The car rounds a corner. Hyunjin reaches out and braces himself on one of Changbin’s thighs.

He pulls his hand back quickly, staring at Changbin with his eyes wide. “Sorry.”

Changbin swallows. “It’s okay.”

_The night before_

“No way.”

“It’s not as bad as it looks.” Hyunjin says, holding up the shot glass in his hand to the light.

“It looks like our jersey.” Changbin says, frowning at the slightly fluorescent salmon pink liquid in the glass.

Hyunjin giggles. “Oh god, it _does_.”

Changbin sighs. _Hyunjin should not be drinking any more._ “Give it here.”

Hyunjin blinks at him. “What?”

Changbin takes the glass from Hyunjin and downs it. It tastes like cough syrup, soap, and cheap mineral water. He tries not to gag, but his face must screw up into something funny, because Hyunjin’s started laughing at him.

Changbin starts going through every single bottle on the table. _Alcohol, alcohol, syrup, god knows what… _“Where’s the water?”

“Oh, it’s in the kitchen.” Hyunjin takes Changbin’s hand. “Come on.”

Changbin frowns at his hand while Hyunjin drags him through the house. He’s not drunk, but all the loud noises are starting to get a little muffled, and the bright white lights of the kitchen seem that much brighter.

_Hyunjin’s hand is really warm. _Changbin thinks. _Maybe because he’s had too much to drink. _

“Hey, Chaeyoung, we’re just gonna get some water,” Hyunjin says.

“Oh sure.” Chaeyoung says, arms full of bags of chips. “Have either of you guys seen Kang Minhee?”

“No.” Hyunjin looks back at Changbin, who shakes his head. “No, we haven’t.”

“He had food delivered and he didn’t pay for it and now the delivery guy’s standing outside…” Chaeyoung grumbles, crushing one of the bags of chips in her arms. “When I find that motherfucker he is _dead_.”

“We’ll let you know if we see him.” Changbin says.

Chaeyoung smiles at him. “Thanks, Changbin.”

Changbin nods and holds the kitchen door open for her to pass through.

“Why are all of you baseball guys so nice?” Chaeyoung laughs. “Minhee should take some fucking notes.”

Changbin shrugs as the kitchen door swings shut. He turns back to Hyunjin. _Wait. Where is he?_

“Hyunjin?” Changbin sighs. He doesn’t want to have to hunt for Hyunjin. He’s had a bad enough day as it is. He turns a corner into what he thinks is the pantry, nearly knocking into Hyunjin, who’s carrying two glasses of water. Nearly all the contents of one glass sloshes out onto Changbin.

“Oh crap, sorry.” Hyunjin lowers the glasses onto the kitchen counter and reaches for a paper towel. “Here.”

“It’s okay.” Changbin says, dabbing at his shirt with the paper towel. He’s got the feeling leather and water should _not_ meet under any circumstances, so he slips out of his jacket to shake it out.

“At least it’s just water,” Hyunjin says, tearing off another paper towel to dab Changbin’s shirt.

The only thing is, Changbin’s shirt is on top of his chest and it feels… weird. He clears his throat, frowning at Hyunjin.

“Sorry.” Hyunjin backs away sheepishly.

Changbin turns to the sink and slides out of his shirt to wring it out over the drain. He looks out the kitchen window, which overlooks part of the garden. “That’s Kang Minhee, isn’t it?”

Hyunjin comes over and squints out the window. “I think so.”

“We should probably tell Chae-” Changbin says, just as another figure steps out onto the garden and whacks Kang Minhee with a silver serving tray. “Ah. I guess not.”

“Uh,” Hyunjin hums. “You should probably put your shirt back on.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.” Changbin says, wringing his shirt out one more time before putting it back on. For some reason, the slightly damp cotton is much worse than when it’s completely drenched. Changbin screws his face up again.

“We can stay near the fireplace so your shirt dries faster.” Hyunjin suggests.

Changbin doesn’t feel like that’s backed up by science, but he shrugs anyway. “Okay.”

Hyunjin’s not drunk, but he kind of feels like he is.

Changbin’s head is resting on his shoulder, and he’s got one hand holding one of Hyunjin’s forearms.

“Are you asleep?” Hyunjin asks. “Wanna go home?”

“No.”

“Okay.” Hyunjin leans back in the couch, watching the fire crackle in Chaeyoung’s fireplace. It’s his favorite part of Chaeyoung’s house, because it’s just so _extra_. _And watching fire is fun. _

Changbin snuggles up closer to him, until Hyunjin can feel Changbin breathing on the base of his neck.

It’s making him feel things.

“Hey, Changbin?”

“Uh-huh?” Changbin adjusts his hand on Hyunjin’s arm. Changbin’s palm and fingertips are so rough that Hyunjin can’t stop thinking about them.

“You’re not dating anyone, right?”

“You sound like Hyunjoon.”

Hyunjin laughs. “I was just-”

“No, I’m not.” Changbin looks up at him curiously. “Why?”

“I was just wondering.” Hyunjin says.

Changbin smirks. “Why?”

Hyunjin pushes his face away with one hand. “Just because.”

Changbin laughs as he brushes Hyunjin’s hand away from his face. “You didn’t _wonder_ before.”

“I did.” Hyunjin nods defensively. “I’ve wondered once in a while.”

“Why didn’t you ask before, then?”

“Because…” Hyunjin says, sliding a half meter down the couch. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like _that_.” Hyunjin says, covering his eyes. The low, warm light from the fireplace is doing Changbin’s face wonders and Hyunjin would like _not_ to see it, thanks.

Changbin nudges Hyunjin’s hand out of the way. He’s got this annoying grin that Hyunjin could normally ignore, but he’s having a hard time doing that today. “Are you drunk, Park Hyunjin?”

“No.” Hyunjin says, honestly wishing it were otherwise. _At least if I were drunk that would explain…_

Hyunjin tilts his head downward just a little bit, letting his lips brush Changbin’s.

Changbin’s shoulders tense up in surprise, but he gently rests a hand on Hyunjin’s face, pulling him closer.

Changbin kisses Hyunjin back so hard their teeth knock into each other.

_Oh, no. _Hyunjin thinks, tracing lines down Changbin’s back with his fingers. _Oh nooooo…_

Changbin gives Hyunjin’s shoulders a light push, and Hyunjin finds himself laying back with his head on the couch’s armrest. 

Hyunjin lifts his hands to press Changbin’s chest, pushing him just a little bit away. “You’re not drunk, are you?”

Changbin smirks. “No. I become a crying mess on the floor when I’m drunk.”

“Oh.” Hyunjin frowns just as Changbin comes in for another kiss. _This is great. Changbin’s a great kisser._ _I could get used to this. _

_Present_

Felix doesn’t join the other boys joking around after training.

“We’re getting milk tea, Felix,” Hyunjin calls out. “Wanna come with?”

“No thanks. I’m waiting for my dad.”

“Okay.” Hyunjin beams. “See you tomorrow, Felix.”

_Park Hyunjin’s really handsome. And nice. And tall. And everyone’s friends with him. _Felix thinks as he leans against the stadium’s gate, watching the cars pass by on the street outside. He can still see the other guys walking down the street. Jisung’s telling them a story, complete with hand gestures and turning from one side to the other to show different people talking. Chan’s bent over almost halfway from laughing. Hyunjin’s laughing so hard he starts coughing, and Changbin pats him on the back while saying something to Jisung. Hyunjin looks down fondly at Changbin and says something that makes Changbin laugh.

_I can’t believe I didn’t see that._

Felix sighs as he sits on the base of the gate.

The rental car comes five minutes later, driving so slowly that anyone walking past might think it’s parked.

Felix frowns when he sees his papa behind the wheel, brow furrowed in concentration.

“Papa!” Felix says when he opens the door. “Why are _you_ driving?”

“Your dad had another emergency meeting at the university. Some other kid tried to cheat in his exam.” Felix’s papa says, sweat rolling down his nose. “So I had to pick you up.”

Felix pats his papa on the slightly damp arm. “I’m very proud of you, Papa.”

“Thank you, Felix, but save it till we get to the house.” Felix’s papa says, hands shaking as he starts turning onto the main road again. “Oh god oh god oh god…”

Felix tries not to grip the door handle too tightly, for his papa’s sake. _Never thought I’d miss Dad’s driving._

“Sorry I couldn’t come pick you up after training today, Felix.” Felix’s dad says, running into the apartment later that evening just as they’re about to have dinner. “Stupid kids really think cheating’s worth it.”

“It’s okay, Dad.” Felix says. “Papa’s gotten a lot better at driving.”

Felix’s papa shakes his head aggressively.

“I swear, sometimes I think I get kids these days, but then I realize I don’t…” Felix’s dad washes his hands at the kitchen sink before plopping into his chair at the dining table. He gives Felix a tired smile. “How was school today, Felix?”

“Okay.”

“Doesn’t sound okay to me.” Felix’s dad says, scooping some chickpea salad onto Felix’s plate. “What happened?”

“Nothing much.”

Felix’s dad laughs. “Maybe we should stop paying tuition if you aren’t doing anything-”

“Jae.” Felix’s papa says sternly.

“It was a joke, honey.” Felix’s dad says with a saccharine sweet smile.

Felix arranges the chickpeas in his salad into a line, like small, round soldiers.

“I told Changbin that I like him.”

Felix’s dad drops his knife. “Really?”

Felix’s papa bends over to pick up the knife before turning back to Felix. “What did he say?”

“Nothing.” Felix sighs. “He said sorry.”

Felix’s papa frowns. “What for?”

“He didn’t say it, I think he’s too nice to say it,” Felix says. “But he’s already with someone else.”

Felix’s dad stops wiping his fork with a table napkin for a second, and fixes Felix with a dead serious look. “And _who_ in this godforsaken world has he picked over _my Felix_?”

“Park Hyunjin.” Felix says.

“Who’s that?” Felix’s dad whispers to Felix’s papa.

“One of their other teammates.” Felix’s papa says.

“I would like to see a picture of this _Park Hyunjin_.” Felix’s dad says, frowning.

“He’s really good-looking, Dad.” Felix says. “But that’s not it. They were friends before we even moved here. It makes sense. I’m just whatever.”

“You’re not _just whatever_, Felix.” Felix’s papa says.

“Thanks, Papa.”

Felix’s dad has started skewering his chickpeas on his fork. “I can’t believe we let him into our house and _fed_ him.”

“Who?” Felix and his papa frown at Felix’s dad.

“_Seo Changbin_!” Felix’s dad says. “The ingrate!”

Felix can’t help but laugh. “Dad, did you honestly think he’d start dating me just because you bought him food?”

Felix’s dad straightens up. “Never heard of a _dowry_?”

Felix’s papa chokes on his water. “PARK JAEHYUNG!”

Felix pats his papa on the back, laughing. “I can’t believe you were trying to sell me with a couple of _burgers_, Dad!”

“It looked like it was working!” Felix’s dad says. He deflates into his seat, poking at his chickpeas. “I really don’t get kids these days.”

Felix pats his dad on the hand. “It’s okay, Dad, I appreciate your failed effort to secure my hand in marriage with burgers.”

“And ice cream.” Felix’s papa adds with a grin. “And ribs. And barbeque.”

“See? Look how much we invested in that ungrateful _brat_.” Felix’s dad huffs, crossing his arms. “Point out that Park Hyunjin when I bring you to school tomorrow, I’m gonna run him over.”

“_JAEHYUNG!_”

“_DAD_!”

Felix is laughing so hard he doesn’t hear his phone buzz.

“I think you’ve got a message, Felix.” Felix’s dad says.

Felix looks back at the kitchen counter, where he’d left his phone. Sure enough, it’s lit up with a notification.

“Excuse me,” Felix says pushing his chair back.

“Go ahead.”

> _1 new message from unknown number._

Felix unlocks his phone and opens the message.

> _Hi Felix, is this your number?_


	40. I DON’T WANNA BE JUST FRIENDS *WOOF WOOF*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a Mark and Seungmin chapter, because they deserve rights
> 
> Slight nsfw warning
> 
> stream Cat & Dog for healthy relationships and animal rights

Seungmin’s annotating his textbook while listening to a podcast, entirely minding his own business when someone so rudely sits on the edge of his desk.

Seungmin looks up, pulling his earbuds out. “Hi, Cap.”

“You’re good at Physics, right?” Minho says, scooting over so even more of his butt can take up Seungmin’s entire desk.

_Wow. Thanks. _Seungmin thinks, pulling his textbook out of the way. “What do you need?”

“Can you solve this?” Minho asks, holding out his phone. There’s a picture of a Physics problem involving an elevator and a box.

“I’ll try.” Seungmin says.

Minho slides off the desk, giving Seungmin a sheet of scratch paper. “Thanks.”

Seungmin just nods, starting to sketch out the problem on the paper.

“Are you and Park Hyunjin still on _radio silence_?” Minho asks.

Seungmin nearly snaps the tip of his mechanical pencil. “No, we’re fine.” He replies as calmly as he can. “Why?”

“Great. Can you ask him, for me, what the _fuck_ he thinks he’s doing?” Minho asks.

“Why?” Seungmin asks as coolly as he can, listing the formulas he needs on the paper. “What’s he done now?”

“He’s dating Seo Changbin.” Minho snorts. “Huge reach, right?”

Seungmin calmly replaces all the variables with numbers. “Why?”

“Seo Changbin’s… too sexy, smart, and competent for Hyunjin.” Minho shrugs. “I don’t think it’ll work out.”

Seungmin chuckles as he types into his phone’s calculator. “I don’t know, Hyunjin tends to get whatever he wants.”

“Sometimes I wish I had that privilege,” Minho sighs. “And then I remember I’d rather be smart.”

Seungmin laughs, holding out the finished solution to Minho. “Don’t be mean, Hyunjin’s doing his best.”

“No, _you’re_ the best.” Minho says, blowing Seungmin a kiss as he leaves Seungmin’s classroom.

Seungmin sighs. He begs to differ.

Seungmin maps it up to just his luck, but his dad’s chauffeur brings the car past the animal shelter every single day, on the way to and from school. It’s not the animal shelter anymore, since it’s been demolished. All the animals had been put into trucks and shipped to the shelters in nearby cities.

_Or at least that’s what the mayor’s office wants us to think. _

Seungmin had been on the way home from school last Thursday when he’d asked the chauffeur to stop the car. He’d gone out to the side of the road.

“Hyunjin!” Seungmin had called. “Hyunjin!”

The small black cat on the sidewalk hesitates, then turns to Seungmin.

“Come here, Hyunjin!” Seungmin says, rubbing his fingers together to call her over.

Hyunjin had walked over calmly, not even flinching when Seungmin had scooped her up in his arms. He’d climbed back into the car and had a stare-off with the chauffeur.

“Your mother doesn’t like animals.”

“I’m not putting her in Mom’s room.” Seungmin had said, stroking Hyunjin between the ears. “She’ll never know.”

The chauffeur had just shaken his head and started driving.

That had been last week. Seungmin now has seven cats and six dogs hidden in the pool house. It’s still too cold for his mom to throw pool parties or take her summer profile photos, so they’ve gone undetected for now, but Seungmin doesn’t know what he’ll do when the weather gets warmer.

“Fuck my deposit, right?” Mark sighs, looking at the huge scratch in the plaster on the wall.

The culprit’s lying on her back, meowing up at Mark innocently.

“How am I supposed to be mad at you?” Mark asks, picking up the cat in his arms. He strolls over to the other part of his apartment, which is covered in newspapers and pieces of charcoal in a desperate attempt to mask the smell of the five cats and three dogs currently taking up half of his apartment.

Mark lowers the cat gently into the makeshift pen. He’d borrowed one of those baby pen fences from his neighbor, who had just raised their eyebrows, since they know Mark’s unmarried.

“I’m taking care of my nieces for a week,” Mark had explained, with Oscar-award-winning confidence. “Sorry in advance if they make a lot of noise.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine.” Mark’s neighbor had said. “Toddlers?”

“Yeah.”

Mark doesn’t have nieces, and even if he had, he would rather shave himself bald than take care of them for a week.

_What the fuck are you doing? _He asks himself, looking over the mess that was previously his apartment. _You’re going to get your ass evicted. And you don’t have a job or any money, so how are you going to put a deposit on another apartment? _

_The _fuck_ are you doing? _

Mark sits down in the middle of the floor, resting his forehead on his knees. “I don’t know.” He says out loud.

He’s just started crying when he notices something warm under his knees. He smiles at the cat nuzzled up against him. _What’ll happen to us?_

_The Sunday before_

“Mark!”

Mark keeps walking. He can already see the bus stop up ahead.

“Mark! Please, can we talk?” Jinyoung calls out from his car, which he’s slowed to a crawl by the side of the road.

“No.” Mark says, hugging his jacket to keep it from flapping in the wind.

Jinyoung stops the car and steps out, running to the sidewalk. “Mark, can we just talk? Like adults?”

Mark turns around just to say, “Don’t leave your car like that. It’ll get stolen.”

“You’re the only person I’m afraid will steal it anyway.”

“Not funny.” Mark turns and starts down the sidewalk again.

“Sorry, Mark, please, hear me out,” Jinyoung says. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you this week. Let me make it up to you.”

Mark purses his lips. He sees where this is going. He’s going to agree to forgive Jinyoung. And they’re going to end up in Jinyoung’s bed. _Because I’m a weak bitch with no resolve or impulse control. _

_Fuck that._

“I have other options, Jinyoung.” Mark says curtly. “I don’t have to be with you.”

Jinyoung sighs. “I know that.”

“I’m too good for you.” Mark adds.

Jinyoung looks at his sneakers. “So I don’t have a chance?”

“No.” Mark says. “I gave you that chance, you fucked it up, sorry. Bye.”

Jinyoung mumbles something just as a truck passes by.

“What?” Mark asks.

“I love you.” Jinyoung says again, louder this time.

_Oh. _

_Oh no._

Mark swallows. “I’m going now.”

Jinyoung just nods sadly.

“Bye, Jinyoung.” Mark says, turning to go straight to the bus stop before he can change his mind.

_Present_

“There’s a man they’ve had to evict from one of our apartment buildings because he had five cats in a studio apartment,” Seungmin’s mom laughs. “Can you imagine? _Five_ cats!”

“Couldn’t be me.” Seungmin murmurs, looking out the window at the pool house.

“I want five cats too. No, I want _ten _cats!” Seungmin’s little sister says, sitting up on her heels to reach for something across the dinner table. The sleeve of her dress trails in the gravy bowl.

“Darling!” Seungmin’s mom snaps without an ounce of affection. “Look what you’ve _done_!”

“Sowwy.” Seungmin’s little sister hangs her head.

“Go change into a clean dress.”

The nanny comes to quickly sweep Seungmin’s little sister out of the dining room.

Seungmin goes back to the book he’d been reading.

“Sorry I’m late, my meeting went overtime.” His dad stomps into the dining room. Actually, Seungmin had heard him come in the front door. That’s how loud he is.

“It’s all right.” Seungmin’s mom says. “We haven’t started eating yet.”

“What’s that smell?” Seungmin’s dad asks, frowning.

“What smell?” Seungmin’s mom takes a self-conscious whiff of her dress.

“It’s probably the roast beef.” Seungmin says, pointing at the platter of roast beef in the middle of the table.

“No, it smells like,” Seungmin’s dad scrunches up his nose. “Cat pee.”

“That’s oddly specific, dear.” Seungmin’s mom says.

“My mother had a cat, it smelled _awful_.” Seungmin’s dad shudders. “I’ll never forget that smell.”

Seungmin leans forward and pretends to sniff the roast beef. “Maybe this isn’t beef after all.”

“Eurgh, Seungmin, _disgusting_.” Seungmin’s mom frowns at him.

Seungmin’s dad sniffs. “Maybe it’s spoiled?”

“I’ll have it replaced.” Seungmin says, picking up the platter.

“Stop, we have serving staff for that,” Seungmin’s mom says, reaching for a bell at the side of the dining table, but Seungmin’s already escaped into the kitchens.

Seungmin goes up to his room and doesn’t come back down for dinner. He picks up his phone and hunts around in his recent texts until he finds _Boss._

“Hello? Mr. Tuan?” Seungmin jumps to his feet when the animal shelter’s (former) manager picks up.

There are urgent barks and meows all around Mr. Tuan as he calls out, “Seungmin? What’s up?”

Seungmin sighs with relief. “Oh, good, you weren’t the one who was evicted from their apartment.”

“Oh.” Mr. Tuan lets out a dry chuckle. “Well.”

“Why?”

“That _is_ me.” Mr. Tuan says. The barks suddenly rise to a deafening volume.

Seungmin frowns. “Where are you?”

“_MARK TUAN WHAT THE FUCK_?”

Seungmin knows that voice. “Is that my sister?”

“Uh, haha, it’s a long story.” Mr. Tuan says. “Thanks for checking in on me, Seungmin. How are you doing? Fine?”

“MARK TUAN GET YOUR FLAT ASS OVER HERE!”

Seungmin smiles. He misses his sister’s voice. _And all of her, really. _“Yeah, I’m okay.”

Jimin props her feet up on the coffee table, letting three of Mark’s five cats run under her knees. “Mark, when I said you could crash at my place, I meant _you_. Just _you_.”

Mark gives her an apologetic pout, petting the chubby dog in his arms. “Sorry. But they had nowhere else to go.”

“We’re not allowed to have pets here!” Jimin groans. “My dad _also_ owns this building.”

“I’ll leave tomorrow.” Mark promises.

“I might have to, too.” Jimin says, lifting both her entire legs to let a dog run by. She watches her brand-new bean bag get chewed and slobbered to death. She glares back at Mark. “Can’t you stay with Jinyoung?”

“Uh…” Mark’s mouth does this little twist that tells Jimin everything.

She sighs and takes a sip of her coffee. “What’d he do now?”

“Nothing.” Mark says.

“Really?” Jimin lifts both eyebrows. “Let me guess, you got sick of him always being “busy” with other shit when you needed him?”

Mark blinks at her, along with the dog in his arms.

“Same old Jinyoung,” Jimin sighs, stirring her coffee. “Fine, they can stay for one night. You have to find somewhere else to put them all tomorrow.”

“Thank you, Jimin, you’re the best.” Mark says, laying the dog on the floor so he can run and hug Jimin.

Jimin pats him on the top of his head. “Please tell me you didn’t sleep with him.”

“Sorry.” Mark scrunches up his nose. “He’s really hot, or I’m really desperate, or both.”

“Aw, poor baby,” Jimin says, resting Mark’s little head on her shoulder.

“Hey. I’m still older than you.”

“Only biologically.”

Mark seems like he’s about to say something when the doorbell rings. He lifts his eyebrows. “Were you expecting anyone?”

“No.” Jimin frowns. She walks to the intercom, switching the video on. “What the hell?”

She buzzes them in.

“Who is it?” Mark asks. “Do we need to hide the animals?”

“No.” Jimin says, unlocking the front door.

“Hello.” Seungmin says, pink-faced and a just a little breathless from running up three flights of stairs. He steps into Jimin’s living room carrying a huge box.

“No.” Jimin says. “You’re not moving back in here.”

Seungmin lifts his eyebrows innocently. “I wasn’t-”

“No means no. I’ve already got my hands full with _this _dumbass,” Jimin says, pointing in Mark’s direction. Mark and the cat and dog in his arms all look back at her like, _Who, me?_

“I’m here to make your life easier, noona.” Seungmin says, easing the box open. The distinct smell of high-grade roast beef with gravy floods the room.

Jimin frowns. Her stomach also grumbles, but that son of a bitch is always a traitor. “What the-”

Seungmin rests the box gently on the ground and starts rounding up the cats crawling over out of, for lack of a better word, curiosity. He reaches into his back pockets and somehow, like a magician, procures a handful of dog leashes and collars.

“Where are you taking them?” Mark asks, clutching to the puppy still in his arms.

Seungmin opens his mouth, but he closes his mouth again. He clips a collar on the puppy in silence.

_That’s not good. This is not good. _Jimin steps between Seungmin and Mark, folding her arms. “I thought you were grounded.”

“They let me out.” Seungmin says, nudging her gently aside to clip a leash on the puppy.

Mark’s giving Jimin a worried look. _Oh please, I’m _way_ ahead of you._

“What’d you tell them?” Jimin asks.

“That I needed a textbook I’d left at your place.” Seungmin says with a self-satisfied grin.

“This isn’t funny. Where are you taking the animals?” Jimin asks. 

“The pool house.”

Mark’s just frowning in Jimin’s direction, stroking the puppy in his arms like a Bond villain.

_Oh hell no. _Jimin thinks. _Oh hell HELL no. _

“You think I’d really let you bring them there?” Jimin asks. “You know Dad hates animals. If he found them, he’d have them all drowned.”

Mark gasps and covers the puppy’s ears. “You’re bringing them to _your house_?”

“I’ve already got a bunch of them there.” Seungmin says. “The ones I could find anyway.”

Jimin shuts her eyes and rubs her temples. She’s still got ten chapters to study for tomorrow, but these stupid boys and all these poor animals don’t want her to get her degree, do they?

“Why didn’t the mayor just send them to the next city, like he fucking said he would?” Jimin groans.

“The next city didn’t have space.” Mark explains.

“There are other cities past that.” Jimin sinks onto the couch, feeling a migraine coming on. “This country is _full_ of cities!”

“Yes, noona, that’s kind of how countries work.” Seungmin says.

“Don’t get smart with me.” Jimin snaps at him. “If you come home and Dad’s had all those animals _poached_-”

“Jimin!” Mark pouts. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s true! Our Dad shoots birds in the winter for _fun_.” Jimin heaves a deep sigh, before turning to Seungmin with a solemn expression. “We’re removing all of them, now.”

“Where would we take them?” Seungmin asks. “In the pool house I can get them enough food, water-”

“At the risk of being _murdered_ if they’re discovered.” Jimin turns to Mark and punches him in the arm.

“Ow, what was that for?”

“You two are driving me insane and I can’t hit Seungmin.” Jimin frowns at him. “Do you still have the car you used to move your stuff here?”

“No, that was my friend’s…” Mark twists his mouth in a funny way.

Jimin glares him down. “Did you steal it?”

“No, I just uh,” Mark glances self-consciously in Seungmin’s direction. “I was cashing in a favor, and my… _friend_ doesn’t owe me anything more.”

Jimin shuts her eyes. _What did I do to befriend such an unreliable hoe? God? You hear me? What the _hell_ did I do?_

“Do you have other friends with cars?” Seungmin asks. The creases in his brow are letting Jimin know that he’s actually considering the fact that their father would definitely have all the animals in the pool house killed if he found them. _Fucking finally. _

“No.” Mark sighs.

A very brilliant, but evil idea hatches itself in Jimin’s mind, like a tiny snake. “Hey Mark.”

“Yeah?”

“You broke up with Jinyoung, right, not the other way around?”

Mark’s face reddens like he’d had a whole case of beer. “Uh. Yes. Why?”

Jimin smirks. “Jinyoung has a car.”

“Hyunjin!” Jinyoung shouts from inside his room. “Could you get the door? It’s probably another one of your friends!”

“Okay!” Hyunjin’s voice echoes back from the end of the hallway. His footsteps pad past Jinyoung’s door.

Jinyoung looks back down at the papers he’s been trying to check for the past hour or so.

_I hate to be mean, _Jinyoung thinks as he draws a line of X’s all the way down one kid’s paper. _But how can you be _so_ wrong?_

He hears Hyunjin’s footsteps come back, but they’re alone. _I guess it’s not one of his friends. _

Hyunjin knocks on his door. “Hyung, it’s uh… It’s for you.”

Jinyoung frowns. _I don’t have any friends. _

“Okay!” Jinyoung looks down at his muscle shirt and sweatpants. He sniffs the collar of his shirt. _Doesn’t smell too bad. _He grabs a hoodie lying on the edge of his bed and heads out.

Hyunjin’s standing in the hallway, watching Jinyoung pass him with a curious expression. Jinyoung frowns at him, and Hyunjin scrambles into his room.

“Who was it?”

“Dunno.”

Jinyoung’s feet are barely settled in his house slippers when he gets to the door, which Hyunjin, that Great Security Risk, had left ajar. “Hello- Oh. Hello.”

Mark’s standing on their welcome mat, fidgeting with his hands. “Hi Jinyoung.”

“Did you leave something here?” Jinyoung asks numbly.

“No, I didn’t.” Mark’s picking at a hangnail. “I was wondering if I could borrow…” He makes a face. “You.”

“Me?” Jinyoung points at himself slowly.

Mark grimaces. “Yeah, I need you… to… uh…”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Someone says from behind the potted plant at the end of the hallway.

Jinyoung frowns as someone walks over. _Two _someones. “Jimin? Seungmin?”

“We need to borrow your car to rescue some animals from Seungmin and my dad’s house.” Jimin says.

Jinyoung frowns.

“Mark will sleep with you if you do it.” Jimin adds.

“_Noona_.” Seungmin says, scowling.

“I will. I mean, I could.” Mark says, looking at his feet.

“_Mr. Tuan._” Seungmin chides him.

Jinyoung shakes his head. “You don’t need to… I’ll get the keys. I’m coming with you.”

“Sorry, Jinyoung, but we need all the space we can get.” Jimin says. “We’ll return the car, don’t worry.”

“Besides, you’re probably busy.” Mark says.

Without saying another word, Jinyoung steps back into the house, reaches into the bowl of keys. He’s already stuffing his shoes into his sneakers as he steps out, carrying his car keys. “Come on, let’s go.”

Mark looks up at him, surprised. “But-”

“You heard what the man said,” Jimin says, herding her friends and her brother to the apartment building’s stairwell. “_Let’s go._”

Changbin traces figure eights in the floor with his toes.

“Oh there, the internet’s back.” Hyunjin says, clicking around on his laptop. “You wanna watch the next episode?”

“Sure.” Changbin says. He scoots over in the bed to make some space for Hyunjin, who rests the laptop precariously on his knees.

The opening theme of the American show they’re watching starts playing, and Hyunjin’s not the type of person to skip it even though they’re four episodes in. Changbin personally has no patience for opening sequences outside of anime, but he’s in Hyunjin’s house, watching on Hyunjin’s laptop. _So we’ve got to follow Hyunjin’s rules_.

Changbin tilts his head to look at Hyunjin.

_He’s really pretty. Crazy pretty, _Changbin thinks, but it’s a very cold, objective observation. He knows for a fact that Hyunjin’s the prettiest boy he knows. But does he care about it?

_It doesn’t feel like… _Changbin frowns at himself. _Maybe that’s just what it’s like. Maybe liking someone doesn’t have to be _dramatic_ all the time._

The episode’s just started, but Hyunjin’s already looked away. “Are you bored? Do you want to watch something else?”

“What? Oh, no, it’s fine.” Changbin says. “This show’s pretty interesting.”

Hyunjin grins. “You don’t sound very interested.”

“I’m… I just have a lot on my mind. Sorry.”

“Like what?” Hyunjin’s placed laptop on the bedcovers, not bothering to pause the episode. Usually Changbin would _explode_ at anyone who places a laptop directly on the _soft_ bedcovers, blocking the air vents, but Hyunjin’s giving him this look that’s keeping Changbin’s usual levels of irritation at bay.

Still, Changbin’s not about to tell Hyunjin about his parents.

“What’s up?” Hyunjin asks again, closing the laptop lid with one foot, which _also_ should be annoying Changbin more.

Changbin’s not annoyed. He’s something else.

He closes his eyes when Hyunjin’s face comes close. Hyunjin’s kisses are warm and very wet, borderline slobbery, but Changbin doesn’t mind them. He likes the feeling of kissing. The way it feels nice and tingly and everything else tones down just a little bit. He likes Hyunjin’s hands on his body, gently pulling him closer.

_Hyunjin probably does this often, _Changbin thinks, frowning as he shifts his own hands around uneasily. He doesn’t know where to put them, until Hyunjin takes them and places them on his own lower back. _Oh. There. Okay._

“Is this okay?” Hyunjin breathes gently on Changbin’s face. It’s warm and kind of _very_ wet, like his kisses.

“Yeah.”

Hyunjin smiles and rolls over, resting on his elbows as he straddles Changbin’s thighs. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah.” Changbin’s hands dance around a little bit before they land on Hyunjin’s lower back again.

“Good.” Hyunjin leans forward and kisses him again.

Changbin’s trying to think about Hyunjin kissing him, but he can feel the roughness where Hyunjin’s pants are rubbing against his, and he can’t very well _not_ think about what’s under their pants. “Uh. Hyunjin?”

Hyunjin blinks at him. “Yeah?”

“I…” Changbin frowns at himself. _Are you supposed to ask people for sexy stuff? _

_Do I even want sexy stuff? With Hyunjin?_

_I mean, this is nice, but… Are we going to do sexy stuff? Or just stop here?_

_I think I’ll go crazy if we stop here._

“Have you ever had sex before?” Changbin blurts out.

Hyunjin laughs. “No. Do you want to try?”

Changbin doesn’t have time to think about a reply, because they hear the front door open just then, accompanied by a _lot_ more noise.

“HYUNJIN!” Coach Park’s voice carries above the noise of what sounds like a hundred cats and dogs.

“What… is going on?” Hyunjin frowns, climbing off Changbin.

Changbin looks down at the bump in his pants. _What am I supposed to do with this? How the _FUCK_ am I supposed to face Coach Park like this?_

He grabs a pillow and slides it over his lap when the door swings open suddenly. Hyunjin ducks his lower half behind the door. “Hyung!”

“Sorry, Hyunjin, can you help me with something?” Coach Park says.

“What is it?”

Coach Park heaves a long, deep sigh. “We’ve recovered some of the animals from the shelter and we need-”

Hyunjin runs out of the door before his brother can finish his sentence. Coach Park looks back at Changbin, who stares back at him.

“D- Do you need any help?” Changbin asks.

“No, it’s okay, you don’t have to deal with this. It’s _our_ problem.” Coach Park says.

“I’ll help.” Changbin says.

“Okay.” Coach Park says.

But he doesn’t leave.

_Is he waiting for me? Oh crap. Oh shit. Oh shitting crap shit. _Changbin grimaces at his math teacher. “Uh, can I have a minute?”

“What?”

“I…” Changbin shuts his eyes. He’s never wanted to disappear suddenly from existence more, and that’s saying something.

“JINYOUNG!” A woman shouts from the living room, which currently sounds like a zoo. “WHERE’S THAT POCKET GARDEN YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT?”

Coach Park rolls his eyes and leaves the room. Changbin heaves a sigh of relief, reaching town to twist his underwear around a little bit.

“It’s not much of a garden.” Hyunjin’s brother says.

“It’s more like an open-air prison cell.” Jimin says.

Seungmin snorts, gently lowering the cats in his arms into the Parks’ pocket garden. It’s this space that’s sandwiched between their apartment and the building’s perimeter wall at the back, and it’s accessible only by this sliding door just off the kitchen. It’s quite big, actually, even bigger than Seungmin’s bedroom back home, but the whole thing is paved over in depressing, uneven cement. The only break in the cement is a single, lonely drain in the middle of the floor.

“There used to be flowers and grass and stuff, but Hyunjin had bad pollen allergies as a kid, so I paved it over.” Hyunjin’s brother explains, making a face as Mr. Tuan comes in with four dogs on leashes.

“Stick to coaching, you’re shit at construction.” Jimin says, tracing one finger over the uneven wall next to her.

Hyunjin’s brother doesn’t say anything.

Seungmin turns around to get some more of the animals from the living room when he bumps into Changbin, who’s trying to hold a dog that clearly doesn’t want to be held.

“Let me take him.” Seungmin says, holding his arms out.

“Sorry.” Changbin says gingerly passing the dog to Seungmin. “I’m not good with animals.”

“No, this guy’s just hyperactive.” Seungmin says, struggling to keep the dog from leaping out of his arms. “Try your luck with the one that kind of looks like a corgi.”

“Corgi?” Changbin frowns.

_How could he not…? Never mind. _Seungmin blinks at him for a whole moment. “The brownish-reddish one with short legs.”

“Oh.” Changbin’s got the frown of someone who still has no idea what Seungmin’s talking about. “I’ll look for him.”

“Her.” Seungmin corrects him.

“_Her_.” Changbin blushes. “Sorry.”

Seungmin turns to go back to the pocket garden.

_Oh dear. _Seungmin stops at the sliding door. He can’t let go of the dog to open it, because the dog will jump free and run away.

He looks into the pocket garden, trying to catch either his sister or Mr. Tuan’s attention. But Hyunjin’s the one who turns and slides the door open for him.

Seungmin avoids eye contact. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

Seungmin lowers the dog onto the pavement, but the minute its feet touch the ground, it starts running around. He looks through the glass door at Hyunjin, who’s leaning on the kitchen counter as he talks to Changbin, who’s currently holding a dog that is _not_ the one that kind of looks like a corgi.

“I think I should probably go now.” Changbin says, after he’s put the dog into the pocket garden.

“Are you sure? I mean, it’s pretty crazy now, but hyung could probably drive you home later.” Hyunjin says.

“It’s fine. Thanks for having me over.” Changbin says.

“You can stay for dinner.” Hyunjin says. “Hyung will probably cook a lot if uh, Mr. Tuan and the others stay.”

“It’s fine. My parents probably want me home for dinner.” Changbin says in a monotone.

“Okay.” Hyunjin says. “I’ll walk you out.”

“Thanks.” Changbin half-smiles at him. _What does it mean? _Hyunjin doesn’t like it when he does that, because he already has no idea what’s going on in Changbin’s head, and it’s really frying Hyunjin’s brain trying to understand him.

They stop at the door, standing an awkwardly close space apart.

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” Hyunjin says.

“Bye.” Changbin says.

“Bye.” Hyunjin waits. And waits. _Am I supposed to kiss him?_

_Oh. He’s not going to do it._

Hyunjin bends over and plants a kiss on Changbin’s cheek. Changbin jumps back, surprised.

“Oh.” Hyunjin grimaces. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Changbin half-smiles again. “See you tomorrow, Hyunjin.”

“See you.” Hyunjin leans against the outside wall of their apartment, watching Changbin walk on the sidewalk below. Changbin’s got his hands stuffed in that really nice jacket of his – Hyunjin had been meaning to ask him where he got it – but the grim, gloomy way he walks kind of ruins the effect. He watches Changbin walk all the way to the bus stop before going back into the apartment.

He’s greeted by the sounds of twelve cats meowing, nine dogs barking, and three adults fighting. Actually, it’s just his brother and Seungmin’s sister who are fighting, while Mr. Tuan stands off to one side like he doesn’t know what he should be doing.

“So, you and Seo Changbin.”

Hyunjin turns to find Seungmin sitting on the armrest of the couch, watching his sister fight with Hyunjin’s brother in the kitchen. “Huh?”

“When did you and Changbin start dating?”

“Oh. Uh.” Hyunjin’s not sure what to say. “A week ago, maybe? We’re not official.”

“Really.” Seungmin lifts both eyebrows. “How does he feel about that?”

“I don’t-” Hyunjin stops himself. “I don’t think he minds.”

Hyunjin feels a little ill. _Lying to Seungmin is _hard_._

“Oh, okay. I’m happy for you guys.” Seungmin smiles at Hyunjin, and it’s a full-on, sunshiny kind of smile. Hyunjin doesn’t even need to stretch a single brain cell to understand it.

“Thanks.” Hyunjin smiles back.

“I’m glad you’re doing all right,” Seungmin says. “I was kind of mean to you the last time we talked. Not that I thought it would ruin your life or anything, I’m just sorry about it.”

“I deserved it.” Hyunjin hangs his head. “I was a bad friend.”

“Maybe a little bit to me, but Chaeyoung told me what you did for her and Tzuyu,” Seungmin says. “Which I don’t even know if _I_ would have had the patience to do.”

Hyunjin looks up at him.

“Besides,” Seungmin says. “If you were such a ‘bad friend,’ I wouldn’t have missed you.”

Hyunjin’s mouth curls into a small smile. “I missed you, too, Minnie. I found so many memes that I knew no one else would find funny and I had _no one to send them to_.”

Seungmin scoffs. “Really? What about Changbin?”

“Changbin’s…” Hyunjin scrunches up his nose. “He’s different. He’s sexy and cool and doesn’t like bad jokes.”

“Hey, what’re you saying about me?” Seungmin laughs, punching Hyunjin lightly in the arm.

“You’re a cornball.” Hyunjin says, squirming out of the way when Seungmin tries to punch him again. “Don’t hate me because it’s _true_!”

Seungmin folds his arms, but he’s grinning. “You’d better send some of those bad memes my way. I’m going _crazy_ at home.”

“I mean, yeah, why else would you pick up animals off the street and hide them in your basement?” Hyunjin laughs, spinning out of Seungmin’s reach.

“I hid them in the _pool house_, not the basement!”

“I don’t even know what that is, okay!”

Jinyoung takes a deep breath, but his house is already smelling dank and _wild_. He used to have a dog named Snowball, once upon a time when he was an only child, but when it had died, his parents hadn’t allowed him to get another one. _Because of this smell. I get it. _

_Oh, gross, I agree with my parents on something. _

Jinyoung lets Jimin keep arguing with him, though he’s not replying anymore. _She’s going to be fantastic in court. _

“I don’t have enough money to feed all of them _and_ my brother.” Jinyoung cuts in.

“I’ll send you money.” Jimin says. “Like child support.”

“Who’ll watch them when I go out for work?” Jinyoung asks.

“They’re grown animals, they can watch them-”

“I’ll do it.” Mark murmurs. He doesn’t speak up, but he just has this way of making people listen to him. Jinyoung wishes he had that power, too.

Jimin frowns. “You mean… come _here_?”

“I know the key code.” Mark says.

Jinyoung feels his ears burning. _It’s me. I’m the Great Security Risk, not Hyunjin._

Jimin shakes her head. “No, I’m not going to let you do that to yourself, Mark Tuan.”

Mark’s mouth goes into a small, straight line.

The silence is broken by laughter. Jinyoung, Mark, and Jimin turn to find Seungmin and Hyunjin staring guiltily back at them.

“S- Sorry!” Seungmin says, bent over and almost paralyzed with laughter.

“We’ll keep it down!” Hyunjin says, holding his phone up to Seungmin. “What about this one?”

Seungmin sputters loudly before cracking up into silent, open-mouthed laughter.

Jinyoung sighs. _Things are so simple when you’re kids._

He looks back and finds Mark watching the kids wistfully, too.

“I don’t mind if you come in to check on the animals,” Jinyoung says softly. “If it’s okay with you.”

Mark blinks at him, clearly surprised. “Really?”

“Seriously.” Jimin groans, pulling Mark by the arm until he’s safely behind her. She pokes Jinyoung in the chest. “Don’t fucking try. Mark’s not coming back. I’ll _marry_ him if I have to, but he’s not coming back to you. Got it?”

Jinyoung frowns at her for a long while.

“Hey, Jimin,” Mark says, stepping out from behind Jimin, grinning from ear to ear. “Thanks, but I can handle myself. Could I talk to Jinyoung alone for a minute?”

Jimin’s walking away, but she’s wagging her finger at Mark. “You are coming home with me to my apartment tonight, you understand?”

“Yes.” Mark says, still grinning. “Thanks for the support, Jimin. But I was joking about sleeping with him.”

“You’d better be!” Jimin says, walking to the living room. “Come on, boys, I saw a café on the way here and I am _parched._”

“Oh, my friend’s family owns that place.” Hyunjin says. “Their coffee’s really good.”

“Your treat, noona?” Seungmin asks.

“No, _Dad’s_ treat.” Jimin grins. “Come on, Baby Park.”

“Me too?” Hyunjin points at himself.

“Yes, you, you’re the only Park I know.” Jimin casts one death glare in Jinyoung’s direction, using two fingers to point at her eyes then at Jinyoung. _I’m watching you, _she mouths, just in case she hadn’t been clear enough. Then she turns around and puts her arms around Seungmin’s and Hyunjin’s shoulders. “Is it a far walk? I’m not big on walking. I get all the cardio I need from fighting with people.”

Jinyoung watches the door close behind them.

“Um,” Mark says, in that soft, unassuming way that seems to cut right into Jinyoung’s head. “I know twelve cats and nine dogs is _insane_, you don’t have to agree to this.”

“It’s the least I can do.” Jinyoung says. “There’s nowhere else for them to go. And you’ve had a horrible time, and I’ve not done anything to make it better. The opposite, actually.”

“Nah,” Mark says. “I’ve been thinking about it, and you’re not _that_ bad as not-boyfriends go.”

“You must’ve dated some truly shitty people if I get a pass.”

“I have.”

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to bring that up.” Jinyoung needs to do something with his hands or he’ll go mad, so he reaches for a glass. “Do you want water?”

“No, thanks.” Mark says, leaning against the counter.

“Okay.” Jinyoung reaches into the refrigerator to pour himself a pitcher of cold water. He kind of likes the ambient noise of the animals. It makes things less awkward, and more slapstick comedy. _Is that a good thing? Who knows. _

“Have you ever dated anyone before?” Mark asks.

Jinyoung very nearly drops his glass. He rests it on the kitchen counter before he does. “Yes. Does it seem like I haven’t?”

“Yes.”

“Well, uh, those other people I dated,” Jinyoung frowns. “I didn’t really know what I was doing. Or why I was doing it. Now that I think of it, I probably shouldn’t have dated them.”

“Maybe not.” Mark hums.

“It’s different with you.” Jinyoung admits. “My other girlfriends and boyfriends, I didn’t really think much of it when they dumped me – I mean, I was hurt, sure, but I’d be fine in a day.”

“Wow, nice to know I _really_ know how to hurt someone’s feelings.” Mark chuckles.

“No, it’s not your fault. It’s on me,” Jinyoung reaches for his glass, but doesn’t trust himself enough to carry it, so he leaves it to sweat on the counter. “Everything that you do affects me way more than it should.”

Mark takes a breath, looking through the sliding door at all the animals running around in the pocket garden. “I would’ve loved to hear that from you in high school. I had the biggest crush on you, you know that? Even though you were younger than me?”

“Yeah, you told me.”

“I know what you mean, when every little thing someone does just _gets_ to you. That’s how I used to feel about you.”

Jinyoung frowns. _Used to?_

“Oh, that sounds so bad.” Mark laughs quietly at himself. “It’s not that I don’t care about you anymore, Jinyoung. I’m just over the crush. You’re an actual person to me now.”

“So you’re saying,” Jinyoung scrunches up his entire forehead with the struggle of figuring things out. “I just have a crush on you and I need to get over it?”

“I can’t tell you what you’re feeling and what you need to do about it,” Mark says. “You’re an adult.”

Jinyoung sighs. “I wish I weren’t.”

Mark laughs. “Me, too.”

“I mean, I know it’s tough being a teenager, but things are so simple for them.” Jinyoung says. “They don’t have to think about rent or groceries or taxes or loans or…”

“Twelve cats and nine dogs.” Mark offers.

Jinyoung laughs. “Twelve cats and nine dogs.”

“I’ll come over to help you out with them.” Mark says.

“You could stay here.” Jinyoung says. Then he closes his eyes. _Why did you say that? Why did you say that, you complete and utter moron?_

“No, I don’t think I should. Jimin’s kinda right. We’d just end up…” Mark makes a face. “I think we’ll like each other better if we stay out of each other’s pants.”

Jinyoung tries to keep himself from frowning. _I don’t think so. _

“I meant it, you know.” Jinyoung says. “When I said I loved you.”

“Jinyoung-”

“No, I’m sorry.” Jinyoung picks up his glass and drinks half of it in one nervous gulp. “I wasn’t trying to force you to come back to me, that would be _extremely_ shitty of me-”

“I love you, too.” Mark says softly. “But I don’t think you’re ready for the kind of relationship I’m looking for. And I don’t want to half-ass things with you.”

Jinyoung nods slowly.

Mark tiptoes and kisses Jinyoung on the cheek. “I can wait until you’re as old and wise as I am.” He whispers.

“That’s two whole years.” Jinyoung says.

“Oh crap.” Mark makes a face. He shakes his head. “Jinyoung, I don’t think I can go without sex for _two _years.”

“Okay.” Jinyoung says. “I’ll grow up faster.”

Mark laughs, putting his arms around Jinyoung. Jinyoung smiles and squeezes him back.

“We should probably catch up with Jimin and the boys before she thinks we’re… you know.”

“Yeah.”


	41. MORE members???

_A few days earlier_

“Felix, we’re here.”

Felix blinks, his eyes adjusting as he looks away from his phone. “Oh.”

He locks his phone before his dad sees the text he’s been staring at the entire ride to school.

> _Felix, is this your number?_

“Don’t forget your lunch.”

“Yeah.” Felix picks up the bag along with his backpack. He leans over the console to peck his dad on the cheek. “Bye, Dad. Love you.”

“Love you, too.” Felix’s dad smiles. “Have a great day at school.”

_Oh, I will. I WILL. _

Felix marches into the building. _Maybe it was a mistake. It was a mistake, definitely. Changbin tripped and uh… accidentally made out with Park Hyunjin. _

_It happens. I guess?_

Felix slut-drops joyfully into a squat at his locker. He takes his time shuffling his books around before he puts his lunch in. _Where is he?_

Felix hears the locker above and diagonally to the left of his click open. He sucks on his cheeks to keep himself from smiling.

The locker clicks shut.

Felix frowns. _Maybe he’s feeling shy. Cap _is_ a hell of a lot bolder over the phone than irl._

“Hey, Cap!” Felix says, standing up and leaning on the lockers next to Changbin’s.

Changbin only maintains eye contact for a second before looking away. “Hi.”

“I guess you got your phone figured out?” Felix asks.

A frown slowly creeps across Changbin’s face. “Wha- Oh. Oh, no, not yet. Sorry.”

It’s Felix’s turn to be confused. _So… whom… Oh god, I look like a _fool.

“Sorry.” Felix dips into a quick bow. “Sorry for bothering you.”

“You’re not-”

“Bye!” Felix clutches his books tightly, running off. He nearly runs into Park Hyunjin as he does, and as he scurries away, he hears Hyunjin and Changbin talking quietly. Chnagbin’s laughing as Felix turns the corner. _Why can’t you take a hint like a normal person, Felix? He couldn’t have been clearer about it, unless he’d told you straight up that he’s with Hyunjin and doesn’t give a shit about you. _

Felix walks into the classroom, and the first person he sees, of all the people in the world, is Jang Junhyun.

Junhyun stares back blankly.

Felix drops his books on his desk, not bothering to arrange them in the compartment. Then he spins on his foot and heads out of the classroom.

Felix leans on the lockers outside, catching his breath. He feels like he’d just climbed off a rollercoaster. His heart is racing, and he feels _nauseous. _

“Hey, Felix!”

_Sorry, but not now. Please. _Felix thinks, screwing his eyes shut.

“Hey are you okay?” Chan asks, touching Felix’s arm lightly. “Dude?”

“Yeah, I’m just dizzy.” Felix mutters.

“Have you had breakfast?” Chan’s eyes are wide in concern. “Do you want to go to the nurse’s-”

“No!” Felix takes a staggering breath. “No thank you, Chan. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? You look a little pale-”

“I’m fine! Chan! Really!” Felix immediately feels bad for raising his voice. _But if _I_ can’t take a hint, then Chan… is on another planet entirely. _“Sorry, did you want to talk about something?”

“Uh, yeah, Vice Principal Bae wants to see you.” Chan says.

Felix stares at him for a full minute. “Pardon?”

“Vice Principal Bae wants to see you. I bumped into her on the way into the building,” Chan explains. “And she asked me to call you to her office.”

_I already gave her a statement two weeks ago. Is she not satisfied? Am I not done? _

“Okay.” Is all Felix says out loud.

“But if you need to see the nurse-”

“I’m fine, Chan. I am the picture of health.” Felix says, framing his face with one hand. “Thank you.”

“Uh, okay.” Chan says, though he doesn’t look convinced.

Felix has never been called to the vice principal’s office before.

_No, that’s a lie. I was here just a few weeks ago. _

_I’ve been called to the principal’s office at least once in every school I’ve been to. _

_But it’s always because I’m the one being bullied, not the other way around. _

_Not that I want it to be the other way around. _

_It’s just sad._

The door opens before he even knocks.

“Oh!” The vice principal stumbles backward on her stilettos. “I was just going to call you, come in, come in.”

Felix follows the vice principal past her assistant and into her office.

“Have a seat, Felix,” The vice principal says, with a warm smile and a gesture at the seats in front of her desk. “Did you get my text?”

Felix freezes on the spot. _Oh. _

_So that was her. _

_I’m such a fucking _clown.

“I wasn’t sure if that was your number, it’s just the one your homeroom teacher gave me.” The vice principal explains. Her smile is a little too bright. “Please, have a seat!”

Felix nods and drops himself into one of the chairs. The chair is fuzzy, uninviting, and hard on his poor butt.

“How are you today, Felix?” The vice principal asks. “Have you had breakfast?”

_Why is everyone asking me that? Papa’d get really offended if he knew._

“Yes, Vice Principal, and I’m fine, thank you.” Felix says.

“That’s wonderful, Felix.” The vice principal’s eye twitches a little. It seems to be physically hurting her, being this gracious and kind. _So why is she doing it?_

“Uh, sorry to be blunt, but why did you call me, Vice Principal?”

“Oh no, it’s good to get to the point,” The vice principal says. “That’s good practice.”

Felix sits there, hands folded in his lap while he waits for her to get to the point.

“You’re in the baseball team, aren’t you?”

_What happened to getting to the point? _Felix tries to keep his face neutral. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Bang Chan tells me that your team just made it to the semifinals. Congratulations!”

“Thank you, ma’am.” Felix tries not to sigh. _This meeting’s going to take forever._

“Why did you decide to join the baseball team?”

_What the hell? _

_What am I supposed to say? The basketball team rejected me, which was a blessing in disguise since they all seem to be assholes. _

_And I had a big, ugly crush on one of the guys on the baseball team. _

Felix looks up at the vice principal with a deeply exhausted expression. “I like baseball.”

“Interesting.” The vice principal says. “Do you see yourself pursuing baseball in college?”

Felix makes a face. “As a _major_?”

“Ah. Uh.” The vice principal’s face seems to be physically cracking. “I mean, play it in college. Will you play baseball in college?”

“I don’t know.” _Maybe not. Probably not. _

_Definitely not, actually. _

“But you’re thinking about it?” The vice principal asks.

“Yes.” _No._

“Interesting.”

Felix closes his eyes. “With all due respect, I don’t see what’s so interesting about that, Vice Principal.”

“Oh. Uh.” The vice principal fiddles with a folder on her desk. “You see, I was just looking at your file-”

“Why?” Felix frowns. “I mean, I don’t mean to be rude, Vice Principal, but why were you looking at my file?”

The vice principal leans back in her chair, swiveling around an entire 360 degrees as she heaves a sigh. “Listen, I’m gonna cut the bullshit, okay?”

Felix holds back a grin. “Okay, ma’am.”

“Our school needs more extracurriculars that _aren’t_ sports.”

“Ah.” Felix leans back in _his_ seat. “You want me to dance. What for?”

“We have possible sponsors arriving in two weeks.” The vice principal holds up two fingers to drive her point home. “They want to see a school that’s not all sports. But as you probably know, this _stupid_ city hates spending on the arts.”

Felix can’t hide his grin. “I thought that was the school’s choice.”

“What, you think _I_ made that decision? If it were up to me, I would’ve cut half the useless varsities in this school for a theater club and a dance crew.” The vice principal groans. “But the mayor and all his goons are so narrow-minded and idiotic that they’ll only spend on goddamn _sports_!”

“There, there,” Felix says gently.

“Right. I need to calm down.” The vice principal reaches for her iced latte and takes a very long sip. “That’s better.”

“So you want me to pretend to be part of some dance club just for the sponsors’ visit?”

The vice principal laughs, but it’s not a happy laugh. “If only it were that simple, Felix. They’re the kind of _devoted_, serious-about-CSR kind of sponsors. You know what CSR is?”

“Corporations pretending to care.” Felix nods. “I used to live in an orphanage, Vice Principal.”

“Oh.”

“That’s not in my file?” Felix frowns.

“No, it’s not…” The vice principal flips the folder open and scans the page quickly. “Oh. I should’ve figured. Stupid of me.”

“I’m adopted.”

“_Clearly_.” The vice principal says, lifting her eyebrows at what Felix guesses is the _Parents’ Information_ section of his file. “No offense meant, of course.”

“None taken. It’s a fact.” Felix says. He cracks his knuckles. “So you need me to keep pretending to be in some dance club, do a little fake recital for the sponsors a couple times, that’s all?”

“No, Felix.” The vice principal’s mouth curls up in a half smile. “I want you to start an _actual_ dance club.”

Felix gapes at her. “I don’t think I could balance baseball _and_ dance.”

“You’ll have to quit the baseball team.” The vice principal must notice the shift in Felix’s expression. “Oh come on, you weren’t that serious about it anyway-”

“I _am_ very serious about-”

“Left outfield? No one’s serious about left outfield, Felix.” Vice Principal Bae says.

“It’s a part of the team. I take my part seriously.”

“Felix, you can’t just throw away _eight years_ of dance training!” The vice principal says, shaking the folder with Felix’s file. “That’s more years than anyone in the entire city, probably!”

Felix thinks about the choreographer of the university’s spring musicale. _Oh god, she’s probably right._

“I’m not going to beg- Okay, no, I am no longer _above_ begging,” The vice principal clasps her hands together. “Please do it, Felix. _Please_.”

Felix stands up. “I’ll do it. But I’m not quitting the baseball team.”

The vice principal frowns at him. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Felix knocks gently on his parents’ bedroom door. “Hey, Dad, can you help me with something?”

The door opens and Felix’s dad comes out, rubbing his half-shut eyes. “Grhghgeh?”

Felix squints into their darkened room. His papa is turned towards the wall, and seems to be asleep, as Felix had expected. _Good. _

“I need you to help me find something.” Felix whispers. He points at his papa and mouths, ‘It’s a secret.’

“Oh. Okay.” Felix’s dad shuffles out of the room and closes the door. “What is it?”

“I need to find my tap shoes.” Felix says. “We brought them when we moved here, right?”

“Uh, yeah, I think so.” Felix’s dad says, breaking into another yawn. Then he stops in mid-zombie shuffle and frowns at Felix. “Wait a hot second.”

“What?” Felix asks, frowning back.

“Why are you looking for your tap shoes?”

“I just felt like it.” Felix says quickly. Perhaps too quickly.

His dad squints at him, the accusing, suspicious kind of squinting.

He’s squinting for a very, very long time.

Felix realizes his eyes are actually closed when his dad starts snoring lightly. He shakes him. “Dad. Dad.”

“Wha- Sorry, I fell asleep.” Felix’s dad rubs his eyes. “What did you need?”

“My tap shoes.”

Felix’s dad yawns. “Maybe check the storage closet in the laundry room?”

“Okay, thanks, Dad.” Felix gives his groggy dad a quick hug. “Please don’t tell Papa, okay?”

Felix’s dad nods slowly, eyes shut. “Won’t tell a damn soul.”

Changbin opens his locker. He looks down at Felix’s locker. There’s no garbage in front of it – _There _better_ be none, _Changbin thinks – and Felix has put a sticker of a funny-looking frog on the door.

Changbin smiles just a little bit. The frog is cute.

He notices Felix coming down the hallway. He’s got his headphones on, and he’s got this little frown on that has Changbin a little worried.

Changbin quickly opens his own locker and pretends to be occupied pulling his duffel bag out, still watching Felix out of the corner of his eye.

Felix squats as he opens his locker. He’s mumbling to himself, counting under his breath as he pulls his own duffel bag out.

_Is he okay? _Changbin stop pretending to move his books around.

_Do I even have the right to ask?_

“Hey,”

Changbin nearly drops his book. “H- Hi, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin’s leaning on the locker to Changbin’s left. Changbin doesn’t know how long he’s been there.

“Hyung’s started the car already.” Hyunjin says, hitching one thumb in the general direction of the parking lot.

“Oh, okay.” Changbin slings his bags over his shoulders and closes his locker. He looks down at Felix, who’s still counting to himself.

“Hey, Felix, are you riding with us?” Hyunjin asks, his hand sliding easily across Changbin’s shoulders.

Felix looks up at them, his eyes wide as he slides one side of his headphones off. “Pardon?”

Changbin shrugs Hyunjin’s hand off. “Are you riding with Coach Park to training?”

“Oh, uh, no, I’m not… I’ve got something to… My dad’s picking me up today.” Felix says, shutting his locker. “I’m not going to training.”

Changbin frowns. He’d seen Felix’s training bag in the locker. _So why…_

“Okay, we’ll tell the coaches.” Hyunjin twines one of his arms around one of Changbin’s. “See you, Felix!”

“Bye.” Felix says.

He looks at Changbin then, before looking away.

Changbin turns to Hyunjin. “Let’s go before your brother ditches us or something.”

“Haha, yeah.” Hyunjin says, letting Changbin tug him down the hallway by the arm.

_One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…_

_Two, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…_

_Three, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…_

Felix is doing a quick routine to warm up, frowning at how slouchy he looks in the mirror, when the door swings open. His first instinct is to run and hide, but aside from the bulky radio in the corner, there’s nowhere to hide. He runs to the radio and pauses the music. _Oh crap, if the other guys find me-_

“Hello, Felix!” The vice principal strides in.

Felix leans against the mirror, shoulders sagging in relief. “Hi, Vice Principal Bae.”

“I thought you might have some trouble getting people to join your club,” The vice principal says. “So I found some members for you.”

Felix frowns. He’s more than a little worried.

The vice principal waves one hand out the door, calling someone in.

Three girls stumble into the room in a line, like a trio of lost ducklings. Felix recognizes the first one as someone from another class in his year, but he doesn’t know the other two except by face.

“This is Hwang Yeji,” The vice principal says, resting her hands on the shoulders of the first girl, who gives Felix the strained _my-parents-made-me-do-this_ sort of smile. “She used to dance professionally.”

Felix’s eyebrows go up. “Oh, cool, what style?”

“I don’t know, I just did commercials when I was a kid.” Yeji says, her ears reddening. “For vitamins and juice and stuff.”

“Oh.”

“This is Lee Chaeryeong,” The vice principal says, patting the next girl on the back. “She knows ballet.”

_Good. Ballet. That’s more like it. _

“Actually, I just took it for two years.” Chaeryeong says, holding up two shaky fingers. “It was a summer program.”

“Oh.”

The vice principal must notice Felix’s troubled expression, because she clears her throat and gestures to the third girl. “And this is Shin Ryujin. She uh… what do you do again, Ryujin, dear?”

“I do dance covers on my Tiktok.”

“Ah, yes. She dances on her _Tick-tock_.” The vice principal beams at Felix with more confidence than Felix feels she is entitled to. “So, what do you think?”

“Uh…” Felix looks at the three girls. Nobody looks like they want to be there, except maybe Shin Ryujin, who’s been inspecting the dance studio like she’s looking for something to take home from it.

_You could probably sell that old radio for parts, _Felix thinks helpfully.

“I won’t bother you kids anymore,” The vice principal says, clapping her hands together. “Have fun!”

Only Yeji has the presence of mind to reply, “We will, thanks.”

“Uh, yeah, what she said.” Felix mumbles out.

The door closes behind the vice principal, leaving Felix with three girls watching him with uncomfortable intensity.

“Vice Principal Bae said you do every kind of dancing.” Yeji says. “What does she mean?”

“I uh, I don’t do _every _kind,” Felix says, leaning against the barre for support, because Yeji’s staring him down like a cop. “I focused on tap, mostly, but I also tried out contemporary, hip-hop, jazz, ballet-”

“Boys do ballet too?” Ryujin asks, her eyes bugging out.

“Yes, they do.” Chaeryeong says, but she doesn’t sound sure. She looks back at Felix for help.

“Yeah, boys do ballet too.” Felix confirms. Chaeryeong settles into a smug smile.

“Did you also wear the… _thing_?” Ryujin asks, fanning her hands out from her waist like a skirt.

“No.” Felix laughs. “I did _not_ wear a tutu.”

Changbin unlocks the front door and nudges it.

But it stays shut.

He frowns. He’d just greased the hinges a few days before. The door shouldn’t be stuck.

“Mom?” Changbin calls, leaning on the door a little to push harder. “Dad?”

He hears a scraping noise behind the door, and it suddenly swings open. He finds the culprit, a huge cardboard box that had fallen against the door. The entire apartment seems to be full of boxes, all the way to the kitchen and the narrow hallway leading to the rooms.

Changbin’s just squeezed between two boxes to leave his shoes on the rack when the door to his parents’ room opens.

“Oh, good, you’re home.” Changbin’s mom says, dragging yet another box out of the room. “Can you help me move everything nearer to the door?”

“This was already blocking the door.” Changbin says, righting the box that had fallen against the door.

“What did you say?” Changbin’s mom calls out over the sound of the box she’s dragging scraping against the floor. “The movers will be here tomorrow pick up my stuff.”

Changbin frowns. It seems like _everything_ in the house has been packed away, save for the lumpy couch.

“What will be left?” Changbin finds himself asking.

“Your dad’s stuff.” Changbin’s mom says. “And the coffee maker, I’m leaving it with Dongho.”

_How kind of you. _Changbin thinks dryly.

“I was planning to buy a new one when I get to Busan anyway.” Changbin’s mom says. “That thing is older than you.”

Changbin looks at the coffee maker. It’s a little stained and yellowed – Changbin figures it must have been white once, but he hadn’t thought it was _that_ old.

“It was a wedding gift.”

Changbin watches his mother rest against the box she’s been pushing around. She’s not wearing makeup, and the circles under her eyes are so deep and dark that Changbin can’t help but feel bad for her.

Changbin’s mom sighs, burying her face in her hands.

“You don’t have to go through with it, Mom,” Changbin says gently, lowering his bags on the floor as he walks over. “I’m sure Dad will take you back.”

“Oh, he will, definitely.” Changbin’s mom lets out a self-deprecating chuckle. “But I don’t want to, Changbin.”

Changbin pats his mom on the back. “Why are you crying, then?”

Changbin’s mom clears her throat, drying her eyes and looking up at Changbin with a fierce expression, as if she’s saying, _Who did you say was crying? I’m not crying. _

“I wasted nearly twenty years of my life here.” Changbin’s mom says. “Can you imagine how long that is?”

“I’m not even twenty yet.”

“Oh, right, you’re not.” Changbin’s mom looking off into the distance. The apartment’s not that big, so she seems to be looking at the electric fan in the corner of the living room. “I’m not going to miss this apartment.”

_I will. _Changbin thinks. _But maybe because it’s the only apartment I’ve ever known. _

“You’ll come and live with me, right?” Changbin’s mom asks. It doesn’t sound like a question, with the way she says it.

“I don’t know.”

“There’s nothing for you here, Changbin. This city’s a dead end.”

Changbin frowns.

“First rule of the Dance Club,” Felix says, standing up straight and crossing his arms. “Is that we don’t tell _anyone_ about the Dance Club.”

Ryujin nods solemnly, but Chaeryeong and Yeji frown.

Chaeryeong raises her hand. “Why not?”

“Because we don’t want anyone to know about it.” Felix says firmly. _I am _dead_ if anyone finds out about it._

_Everyone’s gonna find out in two weeks anyway, _a dark, ugly voice in Felix’s head hisses. _When you dance in front of the entire school. And those goddamned sponsors. _

Felix makes a face. _Gollum? When the fuck did _you_ get into my head?_

Yeji raises her hand, but with much less enthusiasm than Chaeryeong. “How will we get more members, then?”

_More members??? MORE members? My hands are already full trying to teach you three to be acceptable dancers in the next two weeks!_

But of course he doesn’t say that. Felix rather likes the girls.

“I think it’ll be easier to work with less people for now, since we don’t have a lot of time before our first performance,” Felix explains. “Besides, once everyone sees how good we are, they’ll all want to sign up.”

Ryujin raises her hand.

Felix turns to her. “Yes, Ryujin?”

“What if we’re complete _shit_, though?”

_Oof. _Felix swallows. _Then I’ll have let everyone down for no good reason. _

“We won’t be ‘complete shit,’ Ryujin.” Yeji says, with more confidence than Felix has ever felt from a single person in his entire life. “Because we’ve got Felix.”

Felix mentally adds three more names to the growing list of people he’s probably going to disappoint.

“_Again?_” Coach Wang frowns. “Is he sick? Has he been coming to school?”

“Yeah, I saw him in school.” Jisung says.

“Me too. He didn’t look like he was diseased or anything.” Hyunjoon adds.

“What does _diseased_ look like?” Jisung frowns at him.

“Like…” Hyunjoon lets his eyelids flutter half shut as he hacks out a cough that sounds a little _tubercular_.

“In that case, no, he didn’t look like he was on the _brink of death_.” Jisung says.

Coach Wang groans. He turns to Changbin.

Changbin stares back at him.

“Well?”

“Well _what_, Coach?” Changbin asks innocently.

“You’re Felix’s closest friend here.” Coach Wang says. “What’s going on with him? He _knows_ semifinals are in two weeks, right?”

“I’m sure he knows.” Changbin says. _He’s not stupid._

Coach Wang sighs. “Then can you please find out what’s been keeping him from training? He’s missed a whole week now.”

Changbin can’t very well say, in front of the coaches and the entire team, that he and Felix haven’t spoken in days, and he’s not about to start now. “Yes, Coach.”

“Thank you, Captain.” Coach Wang claps his hands together. “Okay, everyone, ten laps around the field.”

“_Ten_?”

“Coach, noooo-”

Coach Park blows his whistle. “You heard him, guys. Start running.”

Changbin can’t find Felix.

He hadn’t seen him that morning, and now he’s spent nearly his entire lunch break looking for Felix. Changbin’s starting to get worried. He knows Felix isn’t going to do anything _dumb_, but the fact that he can’t find him in their tiny school is really bothering him.

Changbin’s just finished going around all the empty classrooms on the third floor, starting to run in his panic.

“Changbin? Are you all right?”

Changbin stops running to give Teacher Ahn a quick bow. “Yeah, sorry, I’m just- Have you seen Lee Felix?”

“Felix?” Teacher Ahn thinks for a moment, but she’s frowning at Changbin all the while.

_I must look like shit from running around everywhere. _Changbin straightens himself up and brushes his hair out of his eyes with one finger. “Yeah, I just needed to talk to him about something. For the team.”

“Oh, of course. You’ve got an important game next week, right?”

“Next next week.” Changbin says.

“Oh, okay. I’ll be there.” Teacher Ahn smiles at him, then looks up at the ceiling while she thinks. “I remember I saw him going upstairs, though I’m not sure if he’s still there. Maybe he’s in one of the club rooms?”

“Okay, thanks, Teacher Ahn.” Changbin says, giving the History teacher a quick bow.

“Take it easy, Changbin.” Teacher Ahn says gently.

“I will.” Changbin nods. Then he turns and starts running for the stairwell.

Changbin lands on the top floor of the school building, finding it dead silent. He checks each of the club room windows one by one, but all the rooms are darkened and empty.

Changbin suddenly remembers Felix sitting on the floor, surrounded by boxes as he hugs his knees.

Changbin skips the school paper’s room and goes straight to the end of the hallway.

The light in the last room is on.

Changbin twists the knob opens it. “Felix?”

The first thing he sees is that the room is weirdly clean. All of the boxes and junk that had been in the room had been moved somewhere else.

The next thing he sees is Felix and Hwang Yeji sitting in the middle of the floor. All Changbin knows about her is that she’s Hyunjin’s cousin, and that she’s in Felix’s year, but he hadn’t thought they were friends.

Felix rises to his feet faster than Changbin can blink. “Cap!”

Changbin can’t seem to find words, so he only waves.

“Uh, I… I’ll see you around, Yeji! Nice talking to you!” Felix says, waving at the girl as he nudges Changbin out of the room. “Hey Cap! Did you need something?”

_Answers??? _Changbin’s head is spinning, like water being flushed down a toilet bowl.

“I didn’t know you were friends with Hwang Yeji.”

“I…” Felix coughs. “She’s pretty great. Fun to talk to.”

“Okay.” Changbin frowns while his mind runs away from him.

“Did you want to talk to me about something, Cap?”

“Uh,” Changbin shakes his head, trying to get it back to working order. “We just, uh… You haven’t been coming to training lately.”

“Oh.” Felix blinks at him. “You noticed?”

Changbin frowns. “Of course we noticed.”

“I’ve got some uh, stuff going on…” Felix makes a face. “At home.”

Changbin’s frown grows deeper. _That can’t be. Felix’s home is the nicest place ever. _

_That’s not right. _

“Do you want to talk about it?” Changbin asks.

“Oh it’s not… _bad_ stuff.” Felix says. “Just stuff.”

“It gets better if you talk to someone about it.” Changbin says.

Felix looks back at him for a long time.

_Of course he wouldn’t want to talk to _me_ about it, _Changbin thinks. _If I were him, I wouldn’t even want to _see_ me._

“I’ll be back at training tomorrow, Cap.” Felix says finally.

“Okay.” Changbin says. “I’ll see you then.”

“We’ll see each other at school.” Felix says. “Before training.”

“Oh. Right.” Changbin shuts his eyes. _Stupid. _

“Are you okay, Cap?”

Changbin doesn’t know what to answer to that. _Why is Felix so nice? Even after I turned him down and everything? What’s wrong with him?_

“Sorry.” Felix lets out an embarrassed chuckle. “I shouldn’t have asked.”

Changbin _wants_ him to keep asking. He feels his insides twisting with this big, ugly _need_ to tell someone about everything. _Uncle Minki’s spoiled me, all right. _

“I’ll see you at… when I see you.” Felix says.

“See you.”


	42. mAAAAAhTROsSiyyKAHh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one’s a wild ride. Nsfw warning. Wild emotions warning?

“Hey,” Hyunjin says, catching up with Changbin after his last class. Changbin ignores the inquisitive looks Mina and Chanhee give him when Hyunjin puts an arm around his shoulders. He likes the feeling. “Do you have homework today, Cap?”

Changbin knows that’s just Hyunjin’s shorthand for asking, _Do you want to come home with me and pretend to watch some boring show while making out? _

“Yes.” Changbin says.

“Oh.” Hyunjin pouts a little bit.

“No! I mean, no, I don’t have anything to do.” Changbin corrects himself. “I am _free _free. I’m yours.”

Hyunjin laughs, his ears turning a bright red. “Jeez, Changbin, keep it down. We’re still at school.”

“Sorry.” Changbin says.

Hyunjin sneaks a kiss to his temple when he feels no one’s looking. “You’re so cute, you know that?”

Changbin frowns. “No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are,” Hyunjin says, giving Changbin’s shoulders a squeeze. “Wanna stop at Jisung’s café for coffee first?”

“Sure.”

“I don’t like this.” Minho says, taking two empty mugs off his tray and into the sink.

“Lower your voice, dude, don’t be rude.” Jisung whispers, twisting the tap on while he lathers up the sponge.

Minho looks back out at Table 4, where Hyunjin and Changbin are laughing while they sip their iced coffees. He shakes his head. “It’s not right.”

“You think people say that about us?” Jisung frowns as he scrubs the foam dredges off one of the mugs.

“I don’t give a shit what people say about us.” Minho says. “But those two… it’s weird.”

“Weird how?”

“It’s doesn’t make any sense.” Minho says. “I thought Changbin would end up dating someone else.”

“Who?” Jisung scoffs. “_You_?”

“God, I wish,” Minho says, with a wistful look at Table 4. Then he looks back at Jisung, who’s pouting at him like his life depends on it. “Kidding, I love you.”

Jisung keeps pouting. He lifts a soapy finger to his lips.

Minho rolls his eyes, but he leans forward and pecks him on the lips.

“Hey, hey, _hey_!” Jisung’s uncle grumbles, coming out the kitchen with a tray full of freshly-baked scones. “No kissy-kissy during work.”

He uses the tray to separate the two teens, grumbling all the while about health and sanitation.

Minho laughs.

“How come _they_ get to be gross but we can’t!” Jisung says, pointing a soapy finger at Table 4, where Hyunjin appears to be tasting Changbin’s coffee… through Changbin’s mouth.

Jisung’s uncle looks like he’s about to throw up, but all he says is, “They’re customers. I don’t give a shit what they do in here as long as they pay.”

Minho starts transferring the scones to the display shelf. “Ah, _capitalism_.”

“Hwang Yeji’s your cousin, right?”

Hyunjin stops and blinks at Changbin for a long time, propping himself up on the bed. _Why the _heck_ would Changbin bring Yeji up right now? When I have my hand in his underwear??? _

_What the _heck_, Seo Changbin???_

“Yes… she… is.” Hyunjin says slowly, dragging his hand out of Changbin’s boxers. “Why?”

“Is she friends with Felix?”

“Lee Felix?” Hyunjin frowns. He thinks very hard, but his head’s all cloudy with the knowledge that _he_ is very hard. “I don’t know, Yeji and I aren’t very close. They’re in the same year, right?”

“Yeah.” Changbin says. He’s got that look on his face that bothers Hyunjin. _It’s like he’s here, but he isn’t really._

Which makes it weird for Hyunjin to _do_ anything to him.

Hyunjin climbs off Changbin and rests against his pillows. “Did you find out why Felix hasn’t been coming to training?”

“He said he’s got something going on at home.” Changbin says, his voice dropping to a troubled mumble.

“Oh no.” Hyunjin frowns. He hopes his hard-on just _vanishes_ soon, because he knows that nothing’s going to Happen at this rate. “That sucks.”

“It does.” Changbin says, looking at the far wall of Hyunjin’s room like he’s seeing through it or something. “Felix doesn’t deserve that.”

“No one does.” Hyunjin says, but Changbin seems to be spaced out again. _He probably doesn’t hear me. _

Changbin curls up against Hyunjin suddenly, tucking his face into Hyunjin’s shoulder.

“What’s up, Changbin?” Hyunjin asks, reaching out to brush Changbin’s hair with his fingers.

Changbin just shakes his head as his eyelids flutter shut.

Hyunjin keeps brushing Changbin’s hair carefully out of his face.

“You need to tell me,” Hyunjin whispers quietly. “I know something’s wrong, but you have to tell me what it is.”

Changbin doesn’t reply, because he’s already asleep.

Hyunjin sighs.

“Hey everyone, what’s up, it’s ya boi, Felix.” Felix says wincing as he waves at the camera. Lifting his arm hurts. He hasn’t danced _this_ hard in over a year, and for some reason, it’s beating him up more than baseball ever did.

> _Pizzapizzazzpizaaa_: How u doing? U look tired :c

“Oh, it’s just…” Felix trails off, looking at the viewer count. It’s hit 135. He wonders if Changbin’s still one of those. _Well, I’m not taking any chances. _“School and stuff, you know.”

> _lisaaa: _oof same

Felix laughs. “Anyway, I’m going to finish up this bunch of apartments today.”

Felix looks at the dull, blocky – even by Minecraft standards – apartment buildings he’d been working on for the past two weeks. His heart sinks just looking at them, knowing there’s a laptop in there somewhere that his dumb ass had left for someone who just never felt the same way.

“You know what, I guess not.” Felix ignores the flood of worried comments. “I’ll start taking down the animal shelter.”

> _bdz_2x: _WHAT WHY :((((

“Oh, sorry, uh, for the new people, this city’s modeled after the city I live in,” Felix explains. “And they recently tore down the animal shelter.”

Felix sighs as he starts taking bricks off the animal shelter. He looks at the comments.

“Oh I don’t know where the animals are now,” Felix says. “I think they got moved to other nearby shelters. I’m sure they’re safe, though, guys.”

“Hyunjin, can you help me feed the-” Jinyoung freezes in the doorway.

_I should’ve knocked. I should’ve KNOCKED._

Hyunjin’s looking back at him with owl-wide eyes, because Changbin’s asleep against his chest. His _bare_ chest. And Changbin’s just in his underwear.

Jinyoung stumbles out of his brother’s room, slamming the door shut. “Sorry!”

Hyunjin comes out a minute later, wearing a hoodie over his sweatpants. “Hi.”

“Sorry, I should’ve knocked-”

“It’s okay.” Hyunjin cracks his back a few times. “You needed help feeding the animals?”

“Yeah.” Jinyoung says. He doesn’t say anything as they lug out the sacks of dog food and cat food that Mark had dropped off the day before. His hands feel a little numb. Of course he’s noticed that Changbin’s been coming over to their house a lot lately. But he hadn’t thought much of it.

_I mean, I know for a fact that Hyunjin’s not a baby anymore. He’s grown up. _

_I was probably doing worse things when I was his age. _

_And besides, Changbin’s good. I like Changbin. He won’t hurt Hyunjin. He’s a good kid._

“Hyung.” Hyunjin says, snapping Jinyoung back to reality.

“Oh.” Jinyoung hadn’t realized he’d scooped way too much food into one bowl. The dog food’s scattered on the floor around their feet. “Sorry.”

“I can do it myself, hyung.” Hyunjin says. “Let’s switch, you hold the bag, I’ll scoop.”

“Okay.” Jinyoung tiptoes around to hold the bag open for Hyunjin, who seems to be able to eyeball the amount of dog food perfectly for each bowl. _Of course he can, he used to volunteer at the animal shelter a lot. _

Hyunjin ties up the sack of dog food neatly before opening the sack of cat food.

“When did you and Changbin get together?” Jinyoung asks.

“Last last weekend.”

Jinyoung frowns. He has a vague recollection of Changbin carrying a piss-drunk Hyunjin into the house at two in the morning. “At the _party_?”

“Yeah.”

_Did they… when Hyunjin was drunk? _Jinyoung frowns. _That’s not good boy behavior. Right? _

“He doesn’t make you do anything you don’t want to do, does he?” Jinyoung asks.

Hyunjin stops scooping cat food to frown up at his brother. “No, of course not.”

“Good.” Jinyoung uses a finger to turn Hyunjin’s upset face away from him. “I was just asking, okay?”

“Changbin’s a good guy. You know that.”

“Of course I do.”

“Then why’d you ask?”

“I just…” Jinyoung helps Hyunjin tie up the sack of cat food. “You never told me you liked him.”

“I do.” Hyunjin says. “Don’t you like Changbin?”

“I mean, I do, but not like _that_.” Jinyoung says, making a face.

“I hope not.” Hyunjin laughs, lifting the sacks back into the cabinet. “That would be _weird_.”

“Changbin?” Changbin’s dad looks away from the TV when Changbin comes in through the front door. “What time is it?”

“9:00.” Changbin feels like his voice echoes more, because nearly everything in the apartment is gone.

“Why’re you only coming home now?” Changbin’s dad looks worried. “Have you had dinner?”

“I had dinner with my friends.” Changbin lies. He and Hyunjin had gotten iced coffee earlier, but that’s about it.

“There’s some leftovers from Hye- Miss Ahn on the table.” Changbin’s dad says.

Changbin walks over to the kitchen table like a man possessed, and opens the pot resting in the middle of the table. It’s short rib stew, and even though it’s cold and congealed over, it smells _delicious. _

“Maybe I’ll have a little bit.” Changbin frowns at the pot, then at his dad. “Where’s Mom?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Changbin’s dad shrugs. “She went out a while ago with her friends.”

“Oh.” Changbin washes his hands in the sink, then starts digging around in the refrigerator for some rice to heat up. He opens one container and sniffs it. _Oh no, that’s bad. _

He tips the spoiled rice into the trash, then goes back to look for more. He doesn’t have to look hard, because the fridge is mostly empty now, save for a few cans of beer and tiny plastic containers full of indeterminate things. It’s like his mom had the movers take everything she possibly could. _Even the pickles, _Changbin thinks, not finding any of the containers on the level he’d usually left the pickles on.

The refrigerator beeps, complaining that he’s left it open for too long.

Changbin gives up and shuts the door. He scoops some of the stew into a bowl and microwaves it.

His dad ambles over later while he’s working his way through the stew. The meat had gotten tough in the microwave, but it still tastes good.

Changbin’s dad pulls a can of beer out of the fridge. “Want one?”

“Sure.”

Changbin’s dad hands Changbin one can while he opens his own. He sits opposite Changbin.

Changbin stops mid-scoop, lifting his eyebrows at his dad. “Yeah?”

“What?”

“Did you want something, Dad?”

“No.” Changbin’s dad says. Then he takes a sip of beer. “Actually, I was just, uh, wondering.”

“What about?”

“You’re staying with your mom, right?”

Changbin lowers his spoon. He’s back to not being so hungry again.

“I won’t be hurt, don’t worry about me,” Changbin’s dad says quickly. “I get why you’d want to stay with her. It’s going to be hard living in a shared house-”

“I was planning to stay with you.” 

Changbin’s dad looks more worried than anything else. “R- Really?”

“I’m going to H________ University.” Changbin says, and he feels like he’s cutting a little chunk out of his heart as he says it. “I’m going to do the Business Management thing.”

“I thought you didn’t wanna take business anymore?”

“I’ll do it.” Changbin says.

“I…” Changbin’s dad furrows his brows. “I’m sorry, Changbin, but I can’t… I can’t in good conscience let you stay with me.”

“Then I’ll stay at the dorm.”

“We can’t afford that.” Changbin’s dad says. “Sorry.”

“I’ll take out a loan. And I’ll work.” Changbin says. “I can even work at the shop-”

“No, Changbin.”

Changbin stands up. “What do you _mean_, no?”

“I mean,” Changbin’s dad rubs his temples. “You can’t stay with me. You have to go stay with your mom, and that’s final.”

“You said I had a choice-”

“Well, sorry, Changbin, you don’t, really.” Changbin’s dad says. “I just can’t take care of you anymore, Changbin, even if I wanted to. I… I might have to close the shop soon, I don’t know.”

Changbin hadn’t thought things were _that_ bad.

“Then I’ll help you fix it so you don’t have to!” Changbin says. “I can do that!”

“No, Changbin, running a business is harder than-”

“I can learn, Dad, and we can fix it together,” Changbin insists. “And we’ll be fine.”

“Sorry, Changbin.” His dad says. “It’s not that simple.”

Changbin realizes his chest is heaving, and that he’s having a tough time breathing from choking back tears. “Didn’t you think about it?”

“About what?” Changbin’s dad’s reached for a table napkin, and he’s holding it out to Changbin.

Changbin doesn’t take the goddamned tissue. “About _me_. Didn’t either of you think about _me_ when you… when you two decided…”

Changbin tucks his face into his sleeve. He must look ridiculous. _Of course they didn’t. They’re getting a divorce, and that’s between _them_. I’m an afterthought, if anything._

“I’m sorry, Changbin.”

Changbin turns and grabs his jacket off the rack.

“Changbin? Where are you going?” Changbin’s dad stands up.

“I’m going to buy some food from the 7-eleven.” Changbin says, though he knows his pockets are empty.

“Uh…” Changbin’s dad frowns. “Do you want me to drive you? We could get McDonald’s-”

“No.” Changbin says, stuffing his shoes back into his sneakers. “No thanks, Dad.”

“Changbin-”

The front door slams behind Changbin.

“Hyunjin!”

Hyunjin’s just stepped out of the bathroom, buttoning up his pajama top. He’s toweling his hair dry as he shouts back, “What is it, hyung?”

“Changbin’s back!”

Sure enough, Hyunjin’s barely made it the five steps between the bathroom and his bedroom door when Changbin arrives, looking like he’d gone for a run through a tornado.

“Did you… _run_ here?” Hyunjin frowns.

“Yes.”

“Holy…” Hyunjin’s head hurts as he tries to imagine how _far_ that is. “Do you want water?”

“No.” Changbin says. “I want you.”

Hyunjin lifts both eyebrows. His brother’s still in the kitchen, washing up after dinner. _I hope he didn’t hear _that_._

Hyunjin ushers Changbin into his bedroom before Jinyoung hears or sees anything else he’s not supposed to.

“Changbin-”

Changbin’s rough hands feel hot as they grab Hyunjin’s face, pulling him down for a messy kiss. Hyunjin drops his towel on the floor. _Sorry, towel. _

He’s barely caught his breath, and he doubts Changbin has, either, but they’re already on Hyunjin’s bed. Hyunjin’s fingers have just grazed over the hem of Changbin’s shirt, and it’s gone already, thrown aside to some other part of Hyunjin’s room. Changbin’s started undoing the buttons on Hyunjin’s pajamas.

“Wait, wait,” Hyunjin says, holding Changbin by the wrists. “Are you okay? What’s up?”

“Do you want to have sex?” Changbin asks.

Normally Hyunjin would laugh at a question like that coming out of the blue, but Changbin looks _dead_ serious. It’s scaring Hyunjin a little, but Hyunjin would be a liar if he didn’t admit how ridiculously turned on he is right now.

Changbin’s staring at Hyunjin so intensely that Hyunjin feels his legs turning to liquid. “Do you?”

_Yes. _Hyunjin thinks immediately. But he doesn’t budge, his hands still on Changbin’s wrists.

“No.”

Changbin climbs off Hyunjin slowly. “Sorry.”

“No, okay, it’s not that I don’t think you’re hot, you’re really hot, Changbin,” Hyunjin says, pulling Changbin back towards him. He wraps his arms, still cool from his shower, around Changbin’s warm, sweaty torso. “I do want to have sex with you.”

“Then why’d you say no?” Changbin asks. His voice is small and fragile, like a little kid.

“Just not right now.”

Changbin sighs and breaks out of Hyunjin’s embrace. “I’m sorry.”

“We can talk, you know.” Hyunjin says. “I think we should.”

Changbin sits at the edge of Hyunjin’s bed, nodding.

But he doesn’t say anything.

“You have to tell me what’s wrong, Changbin.” Hyunjin says. “We can’t just always be kissing and doing _stuff_, and I don’t even know what’s going on with you.”

Changbin just sits there, like he’s a statue.

“You’ve been _different_ all year. I’d have to be pretty stupid not to notice.” Hyunjin goes on. “_Everyone _knows something’s wrong with you-”

“Is that why you started dating me?” Changbin asks, in that weird, soft voice. “You felt bad for me?”

“No, Changbin,” Hyunjin sighs. “I made out with you because I thought you were hot. I still do. But we can’t just keep doing this. You have to tell me things.”

Changbin doesn’t reply again.

“I _need_ to know, Changbin.” Hyunjin says. “I’m not the kind of person who can just kiss and everything without caring about the other person.”

Hyunjin sighs again. It’s like he’s talking to a wall.

“Why won’t you tell me?” Hyunjin says. “I won’t tell anyone-”

“I just can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I… I don’t know.” Changbin bends over running his hands agitatedly through his hair. “I’m sorry, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin reaches out and rests a hand on Changbin’s back, rubbing it soothingly. “I think we should stop.”

Changbin turns to him, his eyes watery. “What?”

“I don’t think I can date you… like this.” Hyunjin says. “Maybe we shouldn’t have dated in the first place.”

Changbin starts laughing, which surprises Hyunjin. _But he doesn’t sound happy at all._

“I knew you didn’t really want me.” Changbin lets out one last, dry chuckle. “Nobody does.”

“That’s not true,” Hyunjin says.

Changbin stands up and starts walking around Hyunjin’s room. He plucks his t-shirt off Hyunjin’s desk, where it had fallen.

“No, that one’s gross.” Hyunjin takes the shirt from him and throws it into the hamper. “I’ll lend you a new one.”

“It’s okay. If you lend me a shirt, I’ll have to return it.” Changbin gives Hyunjin a sad smile. “And I guess you don’t want to see me as much anymore.”

Hyunjin watches Changbin shake out his damp shirt before slipping it on. He has one horny, intrusive thought: _Changbin’s body is _so_… perfect. _But that thought fizzles out as quickly as it arrives, because Changbin’s got one hand on the door handle. “Are you leaving?”

“Yeah.” Changbin doesn’t look back at Hyunjin as he adds, “Bye, Hyunjin.”

“Wait-”

Changbin’s already out of the door. Hyunjin hears his brother turn the faucet off in the kitchen.

“Leaving already?” Jinyoung asks.

“Yeah. I just forgot something in Hyunjin’s room.” Changbin says. He sounds strangely normal, like he really _had_ just forgotten something.

It scares Hyunjin.

“See you at training tomorrow, Cap!” Jinyoung calls out. It sounds like he’s smiling.

“See you, Coach!” Changbin says, in the same good-natured tone.

The front door closes.

Hyunjin doesn’t bother buttoning up his shirt. He runs out of his room. “HYUNG!”

Jinyoung freezes, frying pan in one hand. He looks Hyunjin up and down, frowning. “Hyunjin, what-”

“We have to go after him.” Hyunjin says.

“Why? Where’s he going?” Jinyoung lowers the pan onto the counter, turning to the front door with a worried look.

“I don’t know,” Hyunjin says. “But I just broke up with him and there’s something _really_ wrong-”

“Put a jacket on or something.” Jinyoung’s already drying his hands on his shorts. “Let’s go.”


	43. Hunt - DAY6 (song recommendation by Seungmin)

Jisung comes out of the café’s kitchen carrying two sandwiches for the people on Table 2. “Hey Uncle-”

His uncle’s standing by the door of the café, having a panicked, but hushed conversation with someone. The couple on Table 2 are frowning their way.

Jisung is not the person who can live without knowing what’s up. He’s on his way to Table 2 to listen in while he serves the old couple, but he sees _whom_ his uncle’s talking to.

It’s Coach Park and Hyunjin, who both seem to be in their pajamas.

_The _fuck_ is going on?_

“He hasn’t been through here?” Coach Park asks.

“No, I haven’t-” Jisung’s uncle notices Jisung eavesdropping with no subtlety at all. “Jisung, have you seen Changbin?”

“No, why?” Jisung drops the plates unceremoniously on Table 2 and walks over. “What happened to Changbin.”

“I broke up with him.” Hyunjin says, lowering his head. “And he ran off and I don’t think- I don’t know.”

_Oh god. Oh dear god. Fucking Park Hyunjin. _Jisung frowns. “Maybe he went home?”

“I don’t think so.” Hyunjin says.

“What do you mean, _you don’t think so_?” Jisung asks, panic rising in his voice. _No way would Changbin do anything…_

“Jisung, leave your apron. Let’s go.” Jisung’s uncle walks back to the kitchen door. He calls out, “Sana! Jisung and I have to go out! It’s an emergency!”

Jisung’s aunt comes out of the kitchen immediately. “What’s wrong?”

“Jisung’s friend Changbin has run off again.”

Jisung’s stomach sinks when he hears his uncle say that. He fumbles with the knot on his apron. His fingers are a little numb.

“Oh no.” Jisung’s aunt covers her mouth with both hands.

“We’ll see if he went home.” Coach Park says, putting an arm around Hyunjin, whose shoulders are shaking.

“We’ll look around here.” Jisung’s uncle says. “He can’t have gotten far.”

“Thanks, Younghyun.” Coach Park gives Hyunjin’s shoulders a tight squeeze. “Come on, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin just nods vaguely.

“Oppa!”

Chan looks up from the homework he’d been trying to finish despite his brother’s extremely loud nursery rhyme Youtube video. “W- What is it, Miya?”

Miya throws something at him that he catches out of instinct. “Your damn _phone_ has been ringing _nonstop_! I can’t hear myself _think_!”

“Miya, watch your words.” Their mother says, looking away from the candy-colored nursery rhyme video to frown at her eldest daughter.

“Sorry, Mom, but his ringtone is so annoying I- _Urrrghhh_!” Miya grumbles.

Chan picks up the call, walking to the kitchen for a little privacy. “Hello?”

“Chan?”

Chan frowns. “What’s wrong, dude? Are you okay?”

Someone else is talking in the background of the call.

“I- Is Changbin there?” Jisung asks, his voice shaking.

“No.” Chan shakes his head, though Jisung can’t see it. “Why? What happened to Changbin?”

“Hyunjin broke up with him-”

“They were _together_?”

“Yes, Chan, get with the fucking times!” Jisung squeaks out. “Sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry.” Chan frowns. _How could I not have known something like that? _

“We can’t find him!”

“Changbin?”

“Yeah, we can’t find him!”

“Calm down, Jisung,” Chan says gently. He realizes that his entire family have stopped what they were doing, and they’re all staring at him. “Where did you last see him?”

“H- He was at the Parks’.”

“Okay.” Chan says. “I’ll look around.”

Jisung chokes something out, then hangs up.

Chan looks back at his family, who are frowning at him. “I have to go out, sorry.”

“It’s late.” Chan’s mom says.

“Changbin’s missing.” Chan says.

Chan’s dad stands up. “I’ll go with you.”

“No, dad, I’m going to be walking around a lot,” Chan says. “Your knees-”

“I don’t care.” Chan’s dad is already picking out a pair of shoes. “We’re going to find your friend.”

Chan runs and gives his dad a hug. “Thanks, Dad.”

“Hold up.” Soojin spreads her arms to block the doorway. “Where are you going?”

Minho doesn’t shove her or shout. He seems drained of energy already when he says, “Get out of my way.”

“No, if _you’re_ going to ditch this dumb dinner, _I’m _definitely not-”

“My friend’s gone missing.” Minho says.

There’s something about the way he says it that doesn’t feel right to Soojin.

“Oh. Oh shit.” Soojin steps out of the way. “You want me to come with you?”

Minho frowns at her. But he nods quietly.

“Okay, I’ll drive.” Soojin says, reaching for the keys on the hook the chauffeur leaves them on. “We’re going to find the _hell _out of that guy. Or girl.”

“It’s a guy. Seo Changbin.”

“Oh, _that_ guy?” Soojin shakes her head. “We are going to find him if it’s the last thing I fucking do, Minho.”

“Thanks, noona.” Minho says, holding onto her arm as she leads the way to the garage.

_Two hours later_

“Did you find him?” Jisung’s aunt asks, rising from her seat when her brother and her nephew come in through the café’s front door. They’re followed by a few others, but none of the other people who enter the café are Changbin. “Oh no.”

Chan helps his dad to the nearest chair to stretch his knees, which have started locking up. “Take it easy, Dad.”

“What happened?” Jisung’s aunt rushes over.

“He’s got bad knees,” Chan explains.

“I’ll be fine.” Chan’s dad says. “Thanks.”

Jisung’s aunt frowns when her brother hugs her. “Oh, Younghyun, what happened to the kid?”

“We don’t know.”

“Should we call the police?”

“Jinyoung already did.” Jisung’s uncle says. “His friend’s a cop.”

Jisung’s aunt only breaks out of her brother’s embrace to wrap Jisung in a bear hug. Her tiny little nephew is crying too hard for her to understand anything he’s saying. “Shh, shh, Jisung, it’s going to be okay.”

Minho goes behind the counter to get glasses of water for everyone. His sister helps him fill the glasses.

Jisung’s aunt tries to stop him, but she takes a glass for Jisung when he passes by. “Come on, drink some water, Jisung.”

Jisung shakes his head.

Jinyoung rises to his feet, frowning at his phone. “They’ve found him.”

“Who?” Chan asks.

“The police.”

_An hour earlier_

Changbin tries the handle of the school’s front gates. They’re not locked.

He doesn’t know what time it is, but it’s late. _They should definitely be locked._

He walks up the steps carefully, like he’s expecting an alarm to go off at any second. He smiles at the idea. _The school’s too poor for that. _

He tries the front door. It’s also open. _Weird._

He steps into the lobby. _It looks so different in the dark._

_Smaller. _

Changbin strolls down the hallways, as if it were a regular school day. He passes by his locker on his way to the stairwell.

He gets off at the third floor and walks past his homeroom classroom. Then he doubles back and peeks in the window.

_The room looks so cold._ _And the desks are so neat. They won’t be like that tomorrow morning when everyone else is here._

Changbin walks back to the stairs, hesitating on the landing. _There’s nothing else upstairs. I should probably just go down. _

_Maybe dad’s wondering where I am._

_Maybe not._

Changbin goes up the last flight of stairs. The hallway is empty and dark, but he sees a sliver of light at the end.

_What?_

Changbin walks down the hallway, past the dark windows of the club rooms. The sliver of light becomes clearer as he comes closer. _It’s from the last room._

He turns to find the door boarded up with some opaque material, except for a tiny gap between the bottom of the door and the floor.

Changbin turns the knob.

A wave of music washes over him, so loud that he wonders why he hadn’t heard it from the hallway. He blinks in the sudden, blinding light.

“Changbin?”

Changbin blinks harder, until his eyes adjust.

Felix is standing in the middle of the room, frozen to the spot. The music keeps playing, a pop song that Changbin remembers Jisung had been obsessed with a couple years back.

“What are you doing here?” Felix says, walking up to Changbin. He doesn’t come very close, like he’s afraid to.

_I probably look like shit. _

“I don’t know.” Changbin says. He looks around. “What are _you_ doing here?”

Felix purses his lips together.

“I, uh…” Felix lowers his head. “I think I should come clean.”

“What?”

“I started a dance club.” Felix says, and he’s so serious about it that it’s as if he’s admitting to murder.

Changbin has no choice but to laugh.

“Stop laughing at me.” Felix pouts. “I’m sorry I’ve been ditching training, I know with semis coming up this weekend, it’s-”

“It’s fine, Felix,” Changbin says. “I really thought you had some kind of problem at home.” His eyes widen. “You don’t, do you?”

“No.” Felix chews on his lip. “I shouldn’t have said that. I know you’ve… yeah.”

Changbin stares at him. “What?”

“No, forget I said anything.” Felix says, waving his hands. “You should go. I’m about to leave in-”

“You know about my parents?”

Felix shakes his head. “No, I don’t know anything. Forget I said anything. Forget I was even here, even. Please don’t tell the other guys.”

“I won’t.” Changbin says, though he’s not sure why Felix seems so dead set on keeping his dance club a secret when he’s such a brilliant dancer.

“Go, go, you should leave.” Felix says, opening the door and holding it open. He makes a funny little flourish with one hand. “Goodbye, Changbin.”

“I’ve already seen you dance, you know.” Changbin says.

Felix flushes to his ears. “Seriously, what are you even doing here?”

Changbin doesn’t move from where he’s standing. But he doesn’t look at Felix, either. “Hyunjin broke up with me.”

“Oh.” Felix’s free hand flies to his mouth. “Oh shit, Changbin, I’m sorry-”

“That’s not even it,” Changbin says. “My parents are getting a divorce.”

Felix is quiet.

_It’s the first conversation we’ve had in so long and I _still_ find a way to ruin it_.

Felix closes the door and leans against it.

Changbin frowns at him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Felix asks.

Changbin keeps frowning at Felix, but he says, “Yes.”

Felix steps forward and puts his arms around Changbin.

Changbin’s about to protest that he’s sweaty and gross, but he realizes Felix, is, too.

Changbin hugs Felix back, resting his face on Felix’s shoulder. His own shoulders feel lighter, like he’d just lost a couple hundred pounds and started lifting off the floor just a little bit.

“I thought you didn’t like me anymore.” Changbin says quietly.

“I thought _you_ didn’t like me.” Felix says. “I’ll always like you, Changbin, you can’t make me stop.”

“Good.” Changbin says, tightening his arms around Felix.

“Wait, this is disgusting,” Felix says, peeling himself away from Changbin. “Can we just like, sit down like normal people?”

Changbin laughs. “Okay.”

They sit down at the side of the room, with their backs against the mirror and the weird bar above their heads.

Changbin looks to his right to find Felix staring at him with his big, shiny chocolate-brown eyes. “Why’re you looking at me like that?”

“You said you wanted to talk.” Felix says. “So talk.”

“Okay.” Changbin swallows. His throat is dry, all of a sudden. “Uh, my parents are getting a divorce.”

He looks at Felix again. Felix nods.

“I think it’ll be good for them, actually.” Changbin says.

“Why?”

“They hate each other, Felix. They’ve been fighting almost nonstop since…” Changbin shrugs his jacket off so he can lean back against the mirror, which is cool against his sweaty back. “That’s why my laptop broke. They were fighting, and they broke my laptop.”

Felix frowns. “They didn’t get you a new one after that?”

“We couldn’t afford it.” Changbin smiles at him, just because he would immediately think that. “But they felt so bad they didn’t fight for like, a week.”

“Then they started fighting again?”

“Yeah.” Changbin says. “It’s… It’s tiring to fight with someone, but I don’t know why it’s like it’s _more_ tiring to just be there. When they’re fighting.”

“I’m sorry.”

Changbin grins at Felix. “You didn’t make them hate each other, Felix.”

“No, I’m just sorry you had to go through that.” Felix hits him lightly on the arm. “Of course I know I didn’t _make them_ fight. You dodo.”

“_Dodo_?” Changbin starts laughing.

“You’re a dodo.” Felix folds his arms. “Wait, stop laughing. We’re talking about serious things.”

“Right, right. Serious things.” Changbin nods. “Anyway, they’re finally getting a divorce.”

“But?”

“But what?”

“It sounded like you were going to say ‘But _something_’.” Felix says.

Changbin chuckles. “Butt something. Hehe.”

“Seo Changbin!” Felix grumbles. “_You’re_ a butt.”

“Okay, I was going to say a butt something,” Changbin says, sucking on his cheeks to keep himself from laughing. “Mom’s moving to Busan-”

“Good riddance.” Felix says.

Changbin stares at him. He’s never heard Felix ever say anything bad about anyone.

“Sorry, but not sorry.” Felix grimaces. “Can we still be friends if I absolutely _hate_ your mom’s guts?”

“Yes, definitely.” Changbin says. “You just surprised me.”

“Sorry.” Felix says. “Go on.”

“Mom’s moving to Busan, and Dad’s selling the apartment. He’s got no money, so he’s moving to a boarding house near the auto shop.” Changbin says, watching Felix turn to him slowly with a horrified look.

“So where are you going?” Felix asks.

“I already got into H________ University, but my dad doesn’t want me to stay with him.” Changbin says. “I’ll need to apply to a university in Busan.”

“Don’t leave.” Felix says. “I mean, sorry. I don’t want you to leave.”

“I don’t want to leave, either.” Changbin says. “All my friends are here. And Chan and Jisung and I have been planning to play together for ________ University since middle school.”

“You forgot the most important thing.”

“What?”

“You’ll miss me.”

“Whatever!” Changbin laughs, pushing Felix away from him. What he doesn’t expect is for Felix to tumble halfway across the room. “Holy shit, sorry!”

Felix is still laughing, though he’s on his side.

“What happened to being serious?” Changbin asks, extending a hand to help Felix up.

Felix takes it, tugging on Changbin’s hand to right himself. “Right. We were being serious.”

“We’re no good at being serious.” Changbin says.

“It’s your fault.” Felix says, giving Changbin a light shove.

“_My _fault?” Changbin laughs, not budging by even an inch.

Felix scrunches his nose and pushes Changbin harder. Changbin stays exactly where he is, but Felix slides back a little bit. “Goddamn it.”

Changbin laughs so hard that when Felix pushes him again, he lets himself fall over on the floor, still shaking with laughter.

The door swings open.

Changbin finds himself looking up at an upside-down policeman. “Huh?”

Felix stands up. “G- Good evening, officer?”

The policeman just blinks at them. “Is either of you uh,” He looks at something scrawled on his hand in smudgy ink. “Seo _Cheongbin_?”

“That’s me.” Changbin says, slowly getting up. “I mean, I’m Seo Changbin.”

The policeman sighs and leans against the doorframe. “Oh, thank God. Thank Goooooooood.”

“What? Why?” Felix tugs Changbin gently behind him. He doesn’t block Changbin much, but he tries. “Is Changbin in trouble?”

“No, but half the city’s looking for him.”


	44. Do you want to talk about it?

The policeman had been exaggerating just a _little_ bit when he’d said that half the city was looking for Changbin, but Changbin and Felix step out of the patrol car and into Jisung’s family’s café, which thrown into pure chaos.

“CHANGBIN!” Jisung bawls, immediately attaching himself to Changbin’s leg.

“YOU’RE OKAY!” Chan wails, clinging to Changbin like a limpet.

“Guys, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?” Changbin says, patting them gently. He looks up to find Hyunjin scuffing a sneaker against the tiled floor. _Oh. _“What did you _tell_ them?”

“You were acting weird. I got scared.” Hyunjin mutters. “I’m glad you’re all right.”

Changbin doesn’t say anything as Hyunjin comes in to join what is not so much a group hug as a weigh-Changbin-down-until-his-bones-break challenge.

Someone else hugs Changbin from behind.

Changbin frowns. “Minho?”

“Don’t you ever scare us like that again.” Minho says.

“Uh. Sorry, Minho.” Changbin pats Minho gingerly on the arm. _What the hell is going on?_

“Where’d you find him?” Jinyoung says.

“The school.” The policeman says.

“Oh. Didn’t think of that.”

“Kids were always breaking into school when they had problems in our time, don’t you remember?” The policeman says, with just a hint of accusation in his voice.

“No.” Jinyoung says, with the guilty lilt of someone who had done exactly that. “Anyway, thanks for finding him.”

“You’re welcome. But you owe me one.” The policeman says.

“Ah, haha, _no_, we’re _even._” Jinyoung says, clapping the policeman on the back. “Nice try, Sungjin.”

“Oh come _on_,” Sungjin whines. “I took a patrol car without authorization and wasted gas and-”

“Excuse me, officer, would you like some scones?” Jisung’s uncle says, cutting in with a box in his hands.

“Oh, sure. Thank you.”

“No, thank _you _for finding Changbin.” Jisung’s uncle says, handing the policeman the box of scones with one hand. He hits Jinyoung on the arm with the other. “You ungrateful swine.”

Sungjin laughs as he starts walking away happily with his box of scones. “Have a good evening, you two!”

Jisung’s uncle looks a little bothered. “Policemen are so cheap these days.”

Jisung’s aunt lays down a plate with six scones, a giant mug of coffee, and a ham sandwich as thick as Changbin’s fist in front of him.

“N- No, thank you.” Changbin says, standing up. “I’ve got to go-”

“No.” Chan says, shoving Changbin down roughly into his seat. “You’re staying. And you’re eating all of that while I watch.”

Changbin makes a face at him. He’s about to say something when he notices Felix standing to the side, talking to someone over the phone. _It’s probably his dad._

_It must be late, whatever time it is right now. His dad’s probably worried sick._

“Excuse me.” Changbin says, dodging out of Chan’s grasp. He walks over to Felix, also avoiding the well-meaning questions from Coach Park, Jisung’s uncle, and Chan’s dad.

“…a café on, I don’t know what street this is, sorry.” Felix says, craning his neck to look out the window.

“Maple Street.” Changbin says.

“O- Oh, thanks.” Felix says, looking surprised that Changbin’s come over. “It’s Maple Street, Dad.”

“We’re three blocks away from the school.” Changbin says. “Does your dad need directions?”

“Y- Yeah.” Felix says, cupping one hand around his mouth as he says, “Dad, I’m handing the phone over to Changbin-”

An excited squawk erupts from Felix’s phone.

“_Dad._” Felix chides. “Behave yourself.”

Changbin takes the phone, holding it a safe distance from his ear. “Mr. Park?”

“Changbin! Well, hello there, long time no see, my boy. How are you doing?”

“Uh, fine?” Changbin tries not to laugh at Felix’s embarrassed, strawberry-red face. “Anyway, uh, to get to the café, coming from the school…”

“I’ll bring him home.” Coach Park says.

“No, we can do that.” Jisung’s uncle insists.

Minho’s sister waves them all way. “We’re taking the boy home, don’t fight with me.”

Jisung’s uncle backs off, but Coach Park doesn’t. “It’s _my_ brother’s fault in the first place-”

“_Hyung_.” Hyunjin crosses his arms.

“-So we’re taking him home.” Coach Park says, ignoring his brother.

“I can go home on my own.” Changbin says, for what he figures is the tenth time in this entire conversation, if you could call it that.

“No.” Everyone says at once.

Changbin sighs. Then he sees a white car roll to a stop outside the window. He turns to Felix, who’s already trying to slip out the door unnoticed.

Changbin gets up.

“Changbin?”

“Where are you going?”

Changbin ignores them and runs out the door. “Felix!”

Felix stops in midstep. “Oh, hey.”

“Can I hitch a ride home?” Changbin asks.

“I…” Felix turns to the white car. He knocks on the window gently, tipping back and forth on his heels while he waits for it to roll down. “Hey dad, can Changbin-”

“Of course!” Felix’s dad practically _yells_.

Felix shuts his eyes. “Dad, please.”

Felix’s dad does some amateur gymnastics to lean out the passenger side window and wave. “Hi Changbin!”

“Hello, Mr. Park.” Changbin says, waving back.

“Please, call me Uncle Jae!” Felix’s dad twists his body a bit more to open the back door. “Come in.”

Felix opens the passenger-side door, but his dad shuts it again.

“Sit at the back with your friend.” Felix’s dad says through a tense smile.

Felix turns to the window and watches the signs and buildings zip past, feeling that warm rush he gets every time they go for a drive around the city.

_No, it’s just Changbin. _

Felix looks back across the seat at Changbin, who’s also looking out the window.

Felix feels the same rush in his heart.

He knows Changbin’s going to graduate and leave and everything’s going to change, but Felix doesn’t want him to _leave _leave.

“Mr. Park,” Changbin says gently. “You missed the turn.”

“Oh, _did I_?” Felix’s dad doesn’t sound convincing at all.

Felix sighs.

He notices Changbin’s turned away from the window now, and he’s looking at him.

Felix smiles in the low light from the streetlights outside.

Changbin smiles back.

The car rolls to a stop outside Changbin’s apartment building. It doesn’t look anything like the one Felix had built in Minecraft, because no texture in Minecraft could ever capture how depressing the building looks like in real life.

“We’re here.” Felix’s dad says.

He doesn’t blame Changbin when the latter doesn’t move.

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow?” Felix says softly.

Changbin’s just looking out Felix’s window at the apartment building.

“Is something wrong?” Felix’s dad asks.

“No.” Changbin unclips his seatbelt. But he doesn’t reach for the door.

Felix lets his hand crawl across the seat until it knocks into Changbin’s. He looks at him, eyebrows raised.

“I’m sorry.” Changbin says. “But I don’t want to go home.”

Felix’s dad is looking at Felix through the rearview mirror, but Felix ignores him for a minute.

Felix taps the top of Changbin’s hand gently. “Do you want to stay with us for tonight?”

Changbin looks back at him. “Yes.”

Felix looks up at his dad. “Dad, can-”

“Yes. Of course.” Felix’s dad has already started the car. “We’ve got an extra mattress at home.”

“Here’s a toothbrush, and a towel, and some PJ’s,” Felix says, piling the things up in Changbin’s arms. “Do you need anything else?”

“No, thank you.” Changbin says. He opens his mouth again, but Felix goes on before you can say anything.

“You can take a shower first,” Felix says. “I’ll set up the other bed. But you can take my bed, I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“Felix-”

“What else do you need?” Felix asks.

“Nothing, Felix.” Changbin says, with a little laugh. “Thank you.”

“O- Okay.” Felix backs off.

Changbin steps into Felix’s bathroom. It’s only then that it really dawns on him that he’s in a space that he shouldn’t be in. Felix’s laundry basket is overflowing with clothes, with some stray socks on the floor. There’s a bottle of anti-acne face wash on the edge of the sink, and a jar of hair gel that’s not quite closed properly. Felix’s toothbrush is firetruck red, and has a few bitemarks on it that Changbin finds funny. 

Changbin feels like an intruder, not quite knowing where to put his towel and pajamas down, because there seem to be Felix’s things covering every inch of the bathroom counter. He even finds a baseball buried under some seemingly empty bottles of shampoo.

Changbin peels his clothes off and folds them into a pile on the floor. Then he looks at himself in the mirror, which is lined with stickers of anime characters. _What are you doing, Changbin?_

Someone knocks on the bathroom door, making Changbin jump.

“The left one is hot, and the right one is cold!” Felix shouts. “The labels are reversed! Don’t know why! Don’t ask me!”

“Okay!” Changbin says. “Thanks!”

He notices his reflection smiling. _Oh. It’s me. I’m smiling._

Felix rolls over. He can’t sleep. The mattress on the floor isn’t uncomfortable, but he’s been listening to Changbin rustling around in his bed above for the past god-knows-how-many hours, and he feels too guilty to sleep ahead.

_I’m going to be a zombie tomorrow, _Felix thinks as he rolls onto his back.

“Felix?” Changbin whispers.

“Yeah?” Felix whispers back.

“Did I wake you up?” Changbin whispers.

“No.” Felix whispers back.

“I can’t sleep.”

“Me neither.” Felix rolls onto his side. It’s too dark to see much of anything, but he looks up to where he knows the bed to be. “Do you want to talk?”

“No, you should sleep.” Changbin whispers.

“I can’t.” Felix says. He doesn’t say that it’s because of Changbin, obviously.

Changbin’s quiet for a long time. Felix hopes he’s asleep.

“Why are you so nice to me, Felix?”

Felix frowns. “What do you mean?”

“You don’t have to be.”

“Yes, I do.”

“No, you don’t.”

Felix pulls his blanket up to his chin. He’s thankful for the darkness, because Changbin doesn’t see how red his face is when he says, “I get you.”

Changbin lets out a little laugh. “You’re great, Felix, but I don’t think you do.”

“Why not?”

“You…” Changbin pauses, and Felix feels like he’s choosing his words carefully. “Your life is very different from mine.”

“What… do you mean?”

“I- I didn’t want to say this, but,” Changbin voice takes a bitter turn. “Your life is comfortable, Felix. Your parents are great, and they clearly love you. And you don’t _want_ anything. You get me?”

“You think I don’t understand you because I’m… richer than you?” Felix scoffs.

“Look, I don’t want to fight-”

“No, _you_ look.” Felix sits up in his bed, and he hears Changbin turn his way. “Yeah, my life is great now. My parents are the best parents anyone could ask for.”

“F- Felix-”

“But it wasn’t always like that.” Felix says. He doesn’t know what’s come over him – exhaustion, probably – but he’s never even mentioned that to anyone before. “I know what it’s like to feel like you’re not wanted.”

“Felix, I-”

“I know what it’s like to feel thrown away. And ruin everything because of it.” Felix says. “So don’t tell me that I don’t understand you, because I do.”

Felix lays back down, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

He pulls the cover over his face and shuts his eyes. _Why do you not know when to shut up?_

“Felix?”

“Sorry, Changbin. I didn’t mean-”

“No, you’re right.” Changbin says. “I’m sorry for misjudging you. Oh, and Felix?”

Felix turns to face the bed. “Yes?”

“I know it’s late and we’re going to hate ourselves in the morning,” Changbin says slowly. “But do you want to talk about it?”

Felix knows he ought to say that yes, they will both hate themselves in the morning if they don’t even try to sleep now, but something about Changbin and his cozy, near-whisper makes Felix say,

“Yes.”

_Eight years ago_

“Who this Satan guy?” Felix asks, frowning at the card the woman had just placed in his hands.

“_Santa_ is a jolly old man who comes once a year and gives all the good boys and girls presents,” The woman says, in a stupid, sing-song way that lets him know she’s dropping the biggest load of bullshit he’s ever heard. That’s a new word he learned the other day: _Bullshit_.

Felix likes it. It’s his new favorite word.

“How’s he know what people want?” Felix asks.

“Well, the _good_ little boys and girls all write letters to Santa,” The woman says. “About the _good_ things they’ve done, and what presents they want.”

“Oh, so they order it. Like a pizza.” Felix scoffs. _This Santa guy isn’t that special after all._

“No, not like a pizza, you have to be a _good_ little boy-”

“So this Santa guy, do all the delivery guys for presents have to wear this ugly uniform?” Felix asks, holding up the card.

The woman’s smile falters. “He is a _jolly_ old man-”

“He looks like a tit.” Felix tosses the card aside. “I don’t want his presents.”

“Where’s Margo?” Felix frowns looking at the empty bed at the end of their room.

“Uh,” The orphanage employee making the bed next to him stalls.

“Amber,” Felix says. “Where’s Margo?”

“First of all, you’re supposed to call me _Miss Liu_, we are _not_ equals.” The orphanage employee crosses her arms. “And Margo was adopted by Mr. and Mrs. Dooley.”

Felix makes a face. “The dumb lady who came last Christmas is _married_? Whew.”

Amber rolls her eyes. “And I wondered why she didn’t adopt you.”

“I mean, how could she think we didn’t know about _Santa_?” Felix scoffs. “We watch TV. We can _read_.”

“She was a nice lady trying to do a nice thing for a kid like you,” Amber sighs. “You could at least appreciate _that_.”

“Hmph.” Felix says. “You know what would’ve been _really_ nice of her?”

Amber smoothens out the bedcovers. “What?”

“If she had given us actual presents instead of just talking to us about them.” Felix says.

“_Felix_!”

_Seven years ago_

“What you did was not good, do you understand?”

Felix taps his shoes on the floor. He’s starting to hate the dull noise of sneakers on normal floors. It’s like he’s just started seeing in color, and everything else is ugly and black-and-white, like the old movies. He wishes he could just tap everywhere.

“Uh-huh.” He says, just so Amber stops looking at him like that.

“David’s mom called.” Amber goes on. “She’s very upset.”

“I would be too, if my son were as untalented and dumb as David.”

“_Felix_!” Amber groans and slumps facedown on her desk.

_Is she dead? _Felix thinks, poking her on the top of her head.

Amber sits up and frowns at him.

_Woop, guess not. Dammit._

“I understand you and David had some differences, but you _have_ to always try talking things out-”

“I did! But he’s so stupid that it didn’t work.” Felix says, lifting one fist. “So I had to try it in _his_ language.”

Amber pulls at her hair like she’s trying to make herself bald. “Oh my _gooooood_.”

Felix lowers his fist. He feels a bit bad for Amber. She’s going crazy, and she’s not even forty yet.

“Felix.” Amber says in her Serious voice. Felix knows it well. He sits up straight, ready to get another Talking To, capital T’s. “I didn’t want to bring this up, but David’s different from you.”

“I sure hope he is.”

“His parents pay for him to join that dance class.”

“Oh, that explains it!” Felix says, leaning back in his chair. “He definitely should _not _be in that class.”

“_All _of the other kids’ parents pay for them to join that class!” Amber says exasperatedly. “You’re only there because the instructor is a friend of mine who agreed to let you join for free-”

“Because I don’t have parents to pay for me to join the class.” Felix says.

Amber looks upset. “No, Felix, that’s not what I meant.”

Felix taps his sneakers on the floor. The sound is really so boring and lifeless once you’ve heard tap shoes on wooden floors.

“I can still go back on Thursday, right?”

Amber’s face looks really sad, like it had when the bunny they were taking care of had died suddenly. Felix isn’t stupid like David. He already knows what she’s going to say.

“I’m sorry, Felix, but the other parents don’t… They just want their kids to be safe, you have to understand that.” Amber says, with that bunny-just-died frown. “So you can’t come to that class anymore.”

“It’s not fair.” Felix taps his shoes against the floor angrily. “I _was _right.”

“It’s not about who’s right or who isn’t, Felix.” Amber says. “You shouldn’t have gotten into a fight.”

“Are they kicking _David_ out for getting into a fight?”

Amber’s mouth pulls into a deeper frown. “No.”

“That’s not fair.”

“His parents wouldn’t let that happen.”

“So they can do it to me, because I don’t have parents?”

“No, Felix, that’s not what I mean.” Amber sighs. “I’ll find you another dance class, I promise.”

_Six years ago_

“Felix.” Amber says, pulling on his collar in a way that _hurts_.

“Stop that, Amber.”

“_Miss Liu_.” Amber corrects him, but she lets go of his collar. “And you’re going to call the nice couple Mr. and Mrs. Powell. No other names. Do you understand?”

Felix frowns. “It doesn’t matter what I call them if they don’t like me again.”

“Felix,” Amber says, brushing lint off his shirt. “Forget those other people. If they weren’t right for you, then they weren’t right for you. Maybe Mr. and Mrs. Powell will be, who knows?”

Felix shakes his head. “I’m not the one who gets to choose anyway.”

“You do get to choose.” Amber says sternly. “I won’t let you live with someone you don’t like. You’ll know when it’s right. You understand?”

Felix just nods, but he knows she’s bullshitting him.

“Are you nervous?” Amber asks, taking Felix’s clammy hands in hers.

“Duh.”

“It’s _‘yes_’, Felix, not _‘duh_’.” Amber says. “And you’ve got nothing to be nervous about, I’m sure they’ll love you.”

Felix waves at Mr. and Mrs. Powell when he sees them again, a month later. They smile and wave back.

He runs to look for Amber and finds her folding shirts in the laundry room. “Amber! Amber!”

“_Miss Liu_.” Amber sighs, but she smiles up at Felix. “What’s up?”

“Mr. and Mrs. Powell are back!” Felix says excitedly. “Are they coming to pick me up already?”

“Pick you up? What are you, take-out food?” Amber laughs.

“Are they?”

“I actually don’t know, I haven’t worked the adoption stuff in a while.” Amber says, pushing the shirts aside and holding a hand out to Felix. “Let’s go ask Mrs. Greene?”

Felix makes a face. He hates talking to Mrs. Greene, the head of the orphanage. She’s not so much a head as she is an evil stepmother to the orphanage, just like the ones in the books.

But he takes Amber’s hand and swings it as they walk. He doesn’t like holding Amber’s gross rough hands, but he’ll be nice to her, since he’s leaving soon anyway. He’ll even be nice to Mrs. Greene, since he won’t have to see her again in a short while.

“Mrs. Greene!” Felix says, going so far as to wave at the old hag. He’s _that_ nice.

Mrs. Greene is holding the hand of one of Felix’s friends, Joey.

“Hey, Joey!” Felix says.

Joey looks nervous as he waves back.

_Oh, he must be in some big _trouble_ trouble, _Felix thinks with a smirk. _Dumb Joey. Always getting caught._

Mr. and Mrs. Powell come into view. _Perfect_, Felix thinks. _And I’ll even be able to show Joey up. Great._

Mrs. Greene says something in her crusty old hag voice, which sounds like a creaky door, so Felix doesn’t listen. Then she puts both hands on Joey’s shoulders and pushes him forward a little bit.

Mrs. Powell says something to Joey, and he takes her hand.

“Oh.” Amber says quietly.

Felix tries to let go of her hand so he can go over to Mrs. Greene and _demand_ to know what is going on.

“Stop, Felix.” Amber says, tightening her gross hand around Felix’s.

“Wait, there’s a mistake, _I’m _the one they talked to,” Felix says. “Remember?”

“Maybe they talked to Joey too,” Amber says.

Felix shakes his head. _Joey never said anything about that. _He watches the other boy walk away with the Powells.

“No, Mrs. Greene just made a mistake!”

“Felix,” Amber says, still not letting go of his hand. “Mrs. Greene wouldn’t make a mistake like that.”

“She _could_! She’s old!”

Amber clamps a hand over Felix’s mouth, giving her boss a gracious nod as she passes. Felix keeps protesting, trying to pry Amber’s hand off, but Amber is _strong_.

“Why wouldn’t you let me talk to her! She made a mistake.”

“No, she didn’t, Felix.” Amber says. “There’s no way-”

“But it was _right_. Like you said!” Felix sobs. “They were nice and they liked me and they were going to be my parents and it was _right_!”

“I shouldn’t have said that.” Amber sighs.

Felix lets out a loud noise, not a word or anything like that just a loud, tired noise. He crosses his arms and sits down, right in the middle of the hallway. “I don’t want to talk to any more _couples_.”

“No, don’t say that,” Amber says, bending over to try to help Felix to his feet. “Come on, Felix, you don’t know-”

“Why don’t _you_ adopt me, Amber?”

Amber sighs, leaving Felix on the floor. “I…”

“See? Even _you_ won’t adopt me.” Felix says. “And you don’t have _any_ standards.”

Amber frowns. “Hey, wait a minute.”

_Five years ago_

Amber comes into Felix’s room to find him staring at a pile of mess on the floor. “_Felix_!”

“My bag exploded.” Felix says, just staring at his school supplies scattered all over the tiles.

Amber looks like she’s deciding what to say, and she glitches. Felix laughs.

“I’ll pick it up, Amber, don’t sweat it.”

Amber doesn’t even bother correcting him. “No, pick it up later. I need you to help me with something.”

“Noooooo,” Felix whines. “I just got home from school and I’m on dish duty today-”

“Lee Felix.” Amber says. She’s the only one who spins his name around like that. Felix can’t help but smile in amusement. _Amber is weird._

“Yuh?” Felix asks.

“It’s _yes_, Felix, civilized people say _yes_.” Amber crosses her arms. “Look, I’m going to need you to be _very _civilized-”

“Oh, ho, ho, _no _thanks, Amber.” Felix waves his hands in a general X formation. “No more Mr. and Mrs. Whatever-the-fucks.”

“Felix. Language.” Amber says. “I just need you to give our guests a tour. I wouldn’t normally ask you to do this, but Linda and Carly are out with the flu and all of the other older kids are out.”

“So I’m the bottom of the barrel? Ouch.” Felix laughs, kicking his school stuff under his bed. “But sure, I’ll do it.”

Felix finds today’s guests interesting. They’re two guys, really _tall_ guys, one skinny one and one muscly one, and they look way too young to be adopting anyone anyway. _They’re probably doing charity work to post online or something. Charity bros._

“I’m sorry I can’t be the one to show you around,” Amber tells the Charity Bros. “But this is Felix, he’s one of the older kids here, and he knows pretty much everything I do.”

“Hi Felix.” The skinny Charity Bro says, bending over and giving Felix a wave. “My name’s Jae, and this is my husband Matt-”

“Oh wow, you’re _gay_.” Felix whistles.

The_ Gay _Charity Bros jump back, surprised.

“_Felix_.” Amber says, her entire face turning red. She turns to the Gay Charity Bros again. “I’m sorry, I’ll see if one of the other older kids is-”

“Marie’s in her karate class and Peter’s in swimming.” Felix says.

Amber gives the Gay Charity Bros a trying smile. “We encourage all the kids to have extracurriculars like any other kid would.”

“Cool,” Matt says. He looks down at Felix. “What do you do, Felix?”

“Oh, you guys are going to _love_ this, since you’re gay.” Felix says with a grin.

“Felix-” Amber starts.

Felix does a little spin on one foot. “I dance. Ta-da!”

Amber slaps her face with her palm. She doesn’t remove her hand from her face as she says, “Do you two mind waiting? I can finish my work and be the one to tour you guys around-”

“No, Felix can do it.” Jae says. “Right, Felix?”

“Yeah.” Felix says, giving Amber a confident thumbs up. He looks back at the Gay Charity Bros. “Are you guys planning to adopt? Are you even _allowed _to?”

They exchange uncomfortable looks. “Uh…”

“You guys’ll probably want to see the babies,” Felix says. “Since you can’t have any of your own.”

“_Felix_!”


	45. How to Love- DAY6 (song recommendation by Seungmin)

_Five years ago_

Felix picks up one of the babies. “Do you like this one?”

Jae gets even paler. “Oh god, should you really be holding her like that-”

“Here ya go.” Felix says, holding the baby out to him.

Matt swoops in and takes the baby in his arms. “Hookay.”

“Thanks, babe.” Jae says, heaving a sigh of relief.

Felix can’t stop staring. They’re _so_ weird.

“Jae’s not very good with kids,” Matt explains in a low whisper.

Felix makes a face. “Then what the hell is he doing in an orphanage?”

Matt laughs.

“I’m trying to be supportive-” Jae says, flinching when one of the other babies starts crying.

Felix walks over and picks her up, patting her on the back. “Shh, Sarah, nobody cares.”

“What did you think of Matt and Jae?” Amber asks, helping Felix dry the dishes later that evening.

“They’re weird.”

“Felix, that’s not nice.”

“No, I’m not saying that because they’re gay.” Felix says, rinsing out the last of the baby bowls. “They’re gay _and_ weird.”

“They came here to get married.” Amber says. “Because it’s not yet allowed in the country they’re from.”

Felix makes a face. “And where’s that?”

“South Korea.” Amber stacks the bowls on the rack carefully. “Same as you.”

“I’m not _anything_ like them.”

Amber frowns at him. “Felix-”

“I’m short and ugly and my hair _sucks_.” Felix says.

Amber starts laughing.

“Amber, that’s not nice.” Felix says, trying to mimic her voice. He doesn’t do a very good job of it. “Stop laughing at me because I’m ugly.”

“You’re not ugly, Felix.” Amber says. “You’re just in an awkward stage.”

“Is that awkward stage… _my entire life_?”

Amber wipes away a tear from laughing. “Why are you _me_ sometimes?”

“Oh hell no.” Felix says. “I am not _anything _like you, or the Gay Charity Bros.”

Amber stops in the middle of wiping a plate. “W- _What did you just call them_?”

Felix checks his watch. _It should be nap time. So no one’s coming in or out of the nursery. _

Felix pushes the nursery doors open and tiptoes through.

He’s just made it out the other end when he hears someone call out behind him.

“Lee Felix!”

_Crap. Busted. _Felix stops walking and puts both hands up. “Amber, I can explain-”

“It’s _Miss Liu_ to you, Felix.” Amber says, and Felix wonders why she’s even bothering to correct him. Then he realizes she’s not alone. The Gay Charity Bros are with her. _Huh. So it wasn’t a one-off thing. Maybe they needed more photos, since they didn’t take so many last time. _

“Hey, how are you two doing?” Felix says, extending his hand to both for high-fives.

Both Matt and Jae comply, if a little dazedly.

“Lee Felix, why are you not at school?” Amber cuts in, folding her arms.

“School was cancelled.” Felix says.

Amber sighs. “Then where are Maria and Peter?”

“Uh, they’re here somewhere.” Felix says, pretending to look around the clearly empty hallway. “You must’ve just missed them.”

“Go back to school this _minute_, Felix.”

“No, I don’t want to. School’s stupid.” Felix looks up at the Gay Charity Bros for help. _Surely, they’re on _my_ side. _“Right?”

“Jae’s a university professor.” Amber says.

_Whoops. Guess they’re _not_ on my side. _Felix scrunches up his nose at Jae. “Why would you do that to yourself?”

“Beats me, lil dude.” Jae laughs.

_Lil dude. _Felix grins. He likes that. More people should be weird like this gay professor Charity Bro and call people weird shit like ‘_lil dude_’.

“Lee Felix.” Amber says. “I’m not going to say it again. Go back to school.”

“I’m not going to say it again, either.” Felix says. “No.”

Amber shuts her eyes and takes a deep breath. She turns to the Gay Charity Bros. “I’m sorry, could you guys wait for me in the lobby? I’ll just bring Felix back to school, it’s a five-minute walk.”

“No wonder it’s so easy for him to cut class.” Jae says.

Matt elbows him in the ribs. “_Jae_.”

Felix grins even though Amber starts leading him by the jacket sleeve.

“Are they fixing their adoption papers?” Felix asks, while Amber’s all but dragging him back to school.

“They’re not adopting _you_.”

“Oh, yeah, for sure.” Felix laughs. “They probably want to start from scratch, even more than the other couples.”

Amber stops walking to frown at Felix. “What do you mean?”

“They want like, a kid they can teach from the start, so they can teach it to be nice and not hate gay people and stuff.”

“Kids are not ‘_it_’s, Felix.” Amber says. “But you’re right, I think it would be better for them to adopt one of the younger kids.”

Felix shrugs. “See? I’m right.”

“I was already agreeing with you.”

“Yeah, and I love it.” Felix says with a toothy smile.

The Gay Charity Bros come back again and again. Felix always seems to be home when they do, and Amber always seems to be busy, and they don’t seem to hate Felix, so he’s always the one helping them out.

“No, Jae, that is _not_ how you hold a baby.” Felix says, clicking his tongue. “The baby will vomit on you.”

Jae’s eyes widen. “What, really? Matt, is he screwing with me?”

_Screwing with. _Felix thinks, nodding. _A new way to say that, noted._

“Jae, don’t say bad words around the kid.” Matt says, gently taking the baby from Jae. _He_ knows what he’s doing.

“You have younger siblings, Matt?” Felix asks him.

“Five younger sisters.”

“Ooh, _yikes_.” Felix makes a face.

Jae laughs. “That’s exactly what I said.”

“My sisters are nice.” Matt says defensively.

“Even if they are, there are too many of them.” Felix says. “I’d rather be an only child.”

“It gets lonely.” Jae says quietly.

“Not when you’re an only child _and_ an orphan. Then you’re stuck with like, a hundred other kids in here, but they’re not actually your siblings, so you don’t have to care about them, really.” Felix says. “Best of both worlds.”

Jae’s mouth forms a wobbly line, like he’s not so sure Felix is right. _The man had to have _some_ flaws, _Felix thinks.

“I thought you guys just came here to get married.” Felix says, a couple months into this nonsense. The Gay Charity Bros are back _again_.

“Is that what Ms. Liu told you about us?” Matt asks with an amused smile.

“Yeah.” Felix says. “And you can just call her Amber, she doesn’t actually care.”

“It’s not respectful,” Matt says gently.

“She really doesn’t care, so it’s not disrespectful.” Felix says, waving one hand. He watches Jae reading a book to one of the toddlers, Ashley. He’s acting it out with different voices and facial expressions and everything – Living in an orphanage has forced Felix to watch a _lot_ of people reading books, but Jae is one of the best he’s seen.

He looks up at Matt, who’s been watching Jae, too. He’s got this stupid-looking smile on his face as he does, and it makes Felix snort.

“Sucks that you couldn’t get married back where you’re from.” Felix says.

Matt’s sill smile disappears for a second. “Yeah.”

“Anyway, you’re here now.” Felix says. “Are you ever going back there?”

“Maybe.”

“You’re going to adopt a kid before you go back?”

“I don’t know. It’s up to Jae.” Matt says.

“Why is it up to Jae?” Felix frowns. “You guys should split the vote 50-50.”

“Oh, because _my_ vote is definitely to adopt a kid,” Matt smiles sadly. “But Jae’s not so sure.”

Felix looks back at Jae, who’s busting a lung doing this big elephant voice just to make Ashley laugh and clap her little hands. “Uh, yeah, I wouldn’t be so sure about him not being so sure.”

Matt laughs.

“Where’s Matt?” Felix asks, when he sees Jae in the orphanage by himself. It’s like seeing a fried egg without a yolk. _Too weird to even imagine. _

“He’s got work today,” Jae says. “Why, do I _always_ have to bring him?”

“Nah, I guess not.” Felix says. “Why don’t _you_ have work, then?”

“I’m the professor. I can say there’s no class, and there’s no class.” Jae grins.

Felix whistles. “I wish I were the teacher so I could do that.”

“I’m kidding, we just have a free day today.” Jae says.

“What kind of professor are you?” Felix asks. “’Cause I’m actually struggling with my Math homework right now-”

“Oh hell no,” Jae chortles. “I’m a _Philosophy_ professor.”

Felix frowns. “What the hell does a Philosophy professor teach? How to _think_? You have to _teach _that? How dumb are people these days?”

Jae starts laughing so hard he’s crumpled in half when Amber arrives.

“Jae, I’m so glad you could make it.” Amber says, frowning at Felix. “What did you say to him?”

“Oh, no, nothing, it’s on me,” Jae says waves a hand dismissively. He straightens up and tugs on his button-down shirt to smoothen it out.

“Mrs. Greene is ready for your interview now.” Amber says.

“Interview?” Felix looks up at Jae. “What’re you interviewing for?”

“They have to check if I’m decent enough to adopt one of the kids here,” Jae explains.

“It’s not like that,” Amber says, frowning. “Mrs. Greene just wants to get to know you.”

“Ah.” Felix says, nodding. He’s heard that bullshit before. That’s what Amber would say about the couples who would come to interview him. He’s never passed a single one. He looks up at Jae, who looks pretty nervous. Felix pats the guy on the arm. “Don’t worry, Jae, Mrs. Greene will love you.”

“What?” Amber frowns at Felix.

“Thanks, Felix.” Jae says, his smile coming back. “I hope she does.”

“Listen up,” Felix says, wagging at finger. “You better fucking behave. You hear me? This is life or _death_.”

Ashley just giggles at him.

“Jesus, Ashley, get it together.” Felix says. “This is serious. These two weirdos could be your ticket out of here. No more Mrs. Greene, or Carly, or Linda-”

“Felix, what are you doing?”

Felix blinks up at Amber innocently. “Well hello there, Amber.”

Amber sighs. “Leave Ashley alone.”

Felix gets up. “I was just talking to her.”

“Somehow I feel like that’s the worst thing you can do to anyone.” Amber sighs, taking Felix by the shoulders to steer him out of the toddlers’ room.

“It is _her_, right?” Felix asks. “The one Jae and Matt want to adopt?”

“What are you talking about, Felix?”

“Jae and Matt. They’re here literally every other _day_, Amber, how can you not know-”

“I know who they are.”

“They’re going to adopt Ashley, right?” Felix asks.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“That’s Amber-speak for yes, so I’m taking that as a yes.” Felix sighs. “Ashley better be good to them.”

“You mean, they better be good to Ashley.” Amber says.

“No, I meant what I said.” Felix says. “You know them, they’re so _harmless_ and _nice_ and _lame_-”

“Felix, that’s not kind.”

“I called them nice!”

Amber sighs. “Ashley’s a good kid, and I think they’ll be good parents, no matter what anyone thinks.”

“I agree.” Felix says. He gasps up at Amber. “Oh my god, we actually _agreed_ on something else! Holy crap, Amber-”

“Watch your words, Felix.”

“Whatever, I don’t have to be a good kid,” Felix laughs. “I’m too old for anyone to adopt me anyway.”

Amber frowns. It’s that deep, bunny-just-died frown again.

“What?” Felix asks.

“Nothing.”

“Are you going to change Ashley’s name?” Felix asks.

Matt frowns at him. “_What_?”

“When you adopt her. Are you going to change Ashley’s name?”

“She’ll get Jae’s surname.” Matt says. “I- I mean, if ever everything gets approved, I mean, it’s not yet _sure_-”

“You sure let Jae get whatever he wants, huh?” Felix laughs.

Jae had been taking a sip of water, which he chokes on.

“It’s not just what he wants. I want it, too.” Matt says, patting Jae on the back.

“I wish I had a Matt who did whatever I wanted.” Felix sighs.

“Uh, thanks?” Matt frowns.

“That wasn’t a compliment.” Felix bends over and picks up one of the little kids, who’d been crying. He rubs her back soothingly, saying, “Gosh, Amy, people are trying to have a conversation here.”

Jae snorts, then tries to disguise it as a cough.

Felix bounces Amy around in his arms. “Where’d you find Matt?”

“_Find_?” Jae chortles. “I uh, I… he was the security guard in my dorm in grad school.”

Felix frowns. “Is that even allowed?”

Matt laughs. “No, it wasn’t.”

“Well, I mean, you’re gay already, so that’s one thing not allowed,” Felix shrugs. “What’s another?”

“My sentiments exactly.” Jae says.

“_Jae_.” Matt says, in that fake-serious way he does, but Felix knows he’s just going to let Jae do whatever he wants, anyway.

“I have good news.” Amber says one morning as she helps Felix with dish duty, so he has no excuse to be late for school.

Felix tries to scrub the dish in his hands as slowly as is humanely possible. “What?”

“Matt and Jae’s papers got approved.”

Felix gasps. “Really?”

“Shh, it’s still a secret, okay?” Amber says. “But they’re going to adopt Ashley.”

Felix hops around. “That’s- That’s _awesome_!”

“I’ve never seen you this excited over someone else getting adopted.”

“Oh, what, Ashley? Whatever, who cares about Ashley?” Felix scoffs. “I’m happy for Jae and Matt.”

Amber gives Felix a disappointed look, but doesn’t say anything.

“They’re going to be great parents. Ashley’s going to be so spoiled.” Felix says.

“Good parents don’t spoil their kids.” Amber says.

“How would I know?” Felix scoffs. “Also, they’re not going to _spoil_ spoil her. Just a little bit. Good on Ashley. She’s a real winner.”

Amber sighs. “Hurry up so you’re not late for school.”

“You’re still coming back here, right, even after you take Ashley away?” Felix asks.

“We’re not _taking her away, _don’t say it like that,” Matt frowns. “And no, we’re going to the United States.”

“Matt’s project here is finished.” Jae says. “And so is my visiting professor thing.”

“Oh.” Felix didn’t know people could live in one place for just a few months. He always thought people lived in places for years at a time. “Oh.”

“We’ll miss you.” Jae says.

Matt nudges him, giving him a pointed look and a small shake of his head.

“What?” Jae frowns. “It’s true.”

“When are you leaving?” Felix asks.

“Next week.” Matt replies. “We can come visit you again before then-”

“No, actually, I kinda wanted to ask if you could do a favor for me.” Felix says. They’re both looking at him weird, so he tries something new out. “Please?”

“What is it?” Matt asks.

_Holy shit, it worked. _Felix blinks in surprise. _This ‘Please’ thing _is_ magic!_

“I have a recital – like a _tap dance_ recital this Saturday, but Amber can’t make it.” Felix explains. “Every kid in my class has two spaces in the audience for his parents, and uh… I don’t want there to be a gap in the audience. Like when your front tooth is missing and you look stupid? Yeah.”

Felix wonders what he’d said wrong, because both Jae and Matt are frowning at him weird. It’s close to the bunny-just-died frown.

“Sorry.” Felix says. “You guys are busy, I know.”

Felix stands up, brushing the butt of his shorts off. He turns and walks away.

“Felix?”

Felix rubs his eyes. “Amber, it’s the middle of the night.”

“It’s nine in the evening, you drama queen.” Amber sits down on the edge of his bed.

“Well, I’m sleepy.” Felix says, covering his eyes. “Please turn off the light.”

Amber tugs Felix’s hand away from his eyes, which are puffy. “Oh, Felix…”

“I’m having allergies. Bad allergies.” Felix says, sniffling as he covers his eyes again. “I’m about to die.”

“You’re not going to die, Felix.” Amber says. She takes a deep breath and pats him on the hand. “Matt and Jae told me what you asked them to do.”

Felix covers his face with both hands. “It was stupid, I know.”

“No, it wasn’t.” Amber says. “I’m sorry I can’t make it, but it’s my mom’s birthday and I just can’t bail on her, Felix.”

“Yeah, I get it.” Felix says, though he doesn’t really. “But I shouldn’t have asked them.”

“No, don’t say that. You like them, I know you liked them a lot. You hardly ever like the people that come through here-”

“But that’s just it, right? Everyone’s just _coming through_.” Felix sniffles. “Except me. And you. We’re both stuck here.”

Amber rubs Felix’s back. “They liked you too, Felix. They would say so every time they came here.”

“But I’m not what they’re looking for.”

“No, you’re a bit of a handful.” Amber says. “Too much of a handful for first-time parents, I think.”

“Yeah, I’d make their lives hell if they adopted me.” Felix agrees.

“That’s not what I said.”

“It’s what you meant.” Felix says. “You remember Mrs. Dooley? The lady who adopted Margo?”

“Yes…” Amber frowns. “Why?”

“She told me that if I didn’t start being a good kid, bad things would happen to me, and I would regret it.” Felix shuts his puffy eyes. “I can’t believe that dumb lady was _right_.”

“No, she wasn’t. You’re not a bad kid, Felix.”

“You literally tell me that I am like, every day, Amber.”

“No, I don’t.”

“You don’t have to say it. But I’m the one who’s always giving you headaches.” Felix says. “Maria didn’t which is why she got adopted. And even Peter’s nicer than me. He might get adopted, but I never will.”

Amber doesn’t say anything. _Because I’m right, _Felix thinks. He’s never felt worse about being right.

“Take a deep breath, Felix. You’ll be fine.”

“I know.” Felix says. “This isn’t my first recital.”

But he’s already imagining the ugly gap in the second row.

Felix stretches his legs numbly.

“Okay, you guys are on.” Their dance teacher says. “Big smiles, everyone!”

Felix doesn’t bother. He’s going to dance the hell out of this routine, but he’ll be damned if he has to force himself to _smile_ while doing it.

Felix taps glumly through the first chorus before he actually looks out at the ugly gap.

It’s there, but it’s not a huge gap. Jae winks at him.

The girl behind him bumps into him. “_Felix_!”

“Sorry.” Felix whispers, rushing to his place to continue the routine. He finds himself smiling.

“You didn’t tell me you were _that_ good,” Jae says, catching up to Felix during the intermission.

Felix runs and hugs him without asking any stupid questions.

“Aw, hey, don’t do that,” Jae says, his voice shaking a little bit. “Don’t to that, lil dude.”

Felix shakes his head into Jae’s sweater.

Jae sighs and puts his arms around Felix.

“Where’s Matt?” Felix asks into Jae’s sweater.

“Uh…” Jae clears his throat. “Uh, he’s not…”

Felix pulls away and looks up. Jae doesn’t look well. No, actually he looks kind of like he’d cried the whole night and not thought to drink some Gatorade in the morning.

“What happened to Matt?”

“He didn’t want to come.” Jae says. “Because he didn’t want to give you the wrong idea.”

“The wrong idea?” Felix frowns.

“We can’t be your parents, Felix.”

“I know.”

“Not even for a recital.”

Felix looks up at Jae in utter confusion. “Then what are you doing here?”

“I, uh, didn’t agree with him.”

Felix gasps. “You did _not_ fight with Matt.”

“I did.” Jae says, his face screwing up into a pitiful pout. His eyes start to water as he says, “It was the worst thing ever, I don’t think he’s ever going to forgive me-”

“Then why did you do it?” Felix whacks Jae on the arm.

“Don’t make me feel worse than I already do, you little _demon_!” Jae says, hitting Felix back.

“_Jae_. Don’t hit the kid.”

Jae’s mouth just falls open, but Felix jumps up and down excitedly. “MATT!”

Matt’s still frowning, but he opens his arms, and Jae comes running into them.

“Don’t you ever run off like that again.” Matt grumbles.

“Sorry.” Jae says. “But I couldn’t let the kid down.”

Matt frowns down at Felix in complete silence.

“I’m sorry.” Felix says. “But Jae’s the one who fought you, not me.”

Matt’s angry frown trembles. “It’s still your fault.”

“I didn’t go to your house and tell your husband to fight you!”

Matt’s frown crumbles into a guilty snicker. “_Felix_.” He says, in that tone he uses when Jae says stupid things.

Felix beams. He’s never been happier to be told off in his entire life.

Felix has a big smile, a _real_ big smile as he taps and spins through the last number, which he obviously has a solo in. _Obviously_.

The audience stands up, kind of like they’re forced to, since it’s the last number and all their kids are there.

There’s no ugly gap. Just Matt and Jae howling so loudly Felix slightly wishes there were a gap instead.

_No, I like this. _Felix says, bowing deeply.

_I like this a lot. _

“Thank you.” Felix says, wrapping his arms around Jae and Matt. It’s not the first time he’s said those words, but it’s probably the first time he’s actually meant it.

“No, thank _you_, Felix, that was lovely,” Matt says, giving Felix a tight, warm hug. “You’re like a little Fred Astaire.”

“Don’t know who that is.” Felix says. He looks up and finds Matt frowning at him in pure horror. “_Kidding_! Of course I know who Fred Astaire is.”

“Oh, good.” Matt says with a relieved sigh.

“How are you getting back to the orphanage?” Jae asks. “Do you need a lift?”

Felix knows he’s supposed to take a van with the other kids back to the dance academy and walk home from there, but he nods aggressively. “Yes, please.”

Felix has to drag himself out of Jae and Matt’s car when they stop in front of the orphanage. It’s not because he’s tired – he could probably do the entire show _again_ – but because he just doesn’t want to.

Jae taps the wheel. “I guess, uh, we probably won’t be able to see you again before we go.”

Matt frowns at him.

Jae ignores Matt and turns around, giving Felix a shaky smile. “Bye, Felix.”

Felix doesn’t touch his seatbelt. He doesn’t want this to be over yet.

“I’m really glad we got to know you.” Jae says. “You’re a great kid, no matter what anyone else says.”

Matt touches Jae on the arm. “Jae, don’t-”

“Matt thinks so, too, even if he’s like this.” Jae says.

Matt looks back at Felix with a frown. “I’m sorry we couldn’t be more to you, Felix.”

“It’s okay.” Felix says. “I knew you couldn’t.”

Jae and Matt blink really hard, but they don’t say anything else.

“Thanks for today. I’ll always remember it.” Felix says. They sound like words from a person he’d beat the shit out of, but they’re coming out of his own mouth and he doesn’t regret saying them. He unclips his seatbelt and leaves the car before he can embarrass himself further.

Two weeks later, Felix is cutting through the toddlers’ room to avoid Amber and his chores, which she just _loves_ reminding him to do.

He stops, frowning at a kid who’s scrawling all over a picture book with a crayon. Felix walks over and sits on the floor next to her.

“_Ashley_?”

The little girl looks up and laughs. “Hiya!”

“Ashley, what the _hell_ are you doing here?” Felix holds the girl by her shoulders. “Where the heck are your dads?”

The girl goes back to drawing on the book.

“Wait, you _are_ Ashley, right?” Felix frowns. “Ashley?”

“Hiya!”

“Felix, leave the poor girl alone.”

Felix looks up at Carly, one of the orphanage’s other employees. “Car- I mean, Mrs. Trufio, this is Ashley, right?”

“Yes, it is.” Carly narrows her eyes. “Aren’t you on laundry duty today with Miss Liu?”

“No, don’t change the subject.” Felix says. He points at Ashley. “Didn’t she get adopted like, a week ago?”

“No, they didn’t push through with it.”

Felix frowns down at Ashley. “Oh, Ashley, I’m so sorry.”

Ashley frowns back. “Huh? Why?”

“Amber! Amber!” Felix says, storming into the laundry room. “I can’t _believe_ that after all the bullshit, Jae and Matt didn’t even adopt Ashley!”

Amber stops folding the blanket in her hands. “Oh.”

“What do you mean, _Oh_?” Felix grabs an armful of dirty sheets and starts loading them into the waiting washing machine. “How _annoying-”_

“About that, Mrs. Greene wants to see you in her office.”

Felix shuts his eyes. _Oh god. I ruined Ashley’s adoption and now Mrs. Greene is going to _kill_ me. _

“Mrs. Greene, I swear-”

“Sit down, Felix. No swearing.” The old woman says, gesturing at a lumpy seat across her desk from her.

Felix lowers himself into the lumpy seat. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Well, clearly, you _did_.” Mrs. Greene says. “Because despite everything, it seems that Professor Park and Mr. Kim want to adopt _you_.”

Felix blinks at her for a whole minute. “Say what?”

“I’ve tried to talk them out of it, because obviously, you are a problem child at best and there’s no way those two are ready to deal with you,” Mrs. Greene says. “But they _insisted_, and I just don’t have the right to deny them their very, _very_ strange choice when all their paperwork’s already sorted.”

“Jae and Matt want to adopt _me_?” Felix asks slowly.

“Felix, be respectful. Call them Professor Park and Mr. Kim.”

“Actually, we’re still thinking of what we want him to call us.”

Felix spins around in his seat. Matt’s standing in the doorway, and Jae is just a few steps behind him.

“Thanks for looking after Felix for us, Mrs. Greene,” Jae says.

Mrs. Greene just shakes her head. “You can’t return him anymore, you know that?”

“Of course not, our son’s not a _thing_.” Matt says.

Felix breaks into a grin. _Tell her, Matt._

Mrs. Greene lets out an exasperated noise. “Go, Felix. Don’t forget to say goodbye to Miss Liu.”

“What do you think I am, stupid?” Felix scowls at her.

“No returns!” Mrs. Greene snaps at Matt and Jae, who just laugh at her.

_Present_

“Where’s Miss Liu now?” Changbin asks softly.

“Oh, Amber?” Felix yawns. “She’s running the orphanage now that Mrs. Greene retired. I still call her sometimes. Like Christmas.”

“That’s good.” Changbin says.

Felix is about to say something else when he notices something outside the window. “Is that the _sun_?”

Changbin sits up, squinting at the hazy, warm lavender thing just outside the window. “I think it is.”

“Oh fuck.” Felix kicks his blanket off. “Fuck this shit, we didn’t get any sleep.”

“Sorry.” Changbin says.

“Don’t be.” Felix says, sitting up to smile at Changbin in the faint sunlight now streaming in through the window. 


	46. Seo Changbin, Best Captain Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You okay, dude?”

Changbin stifles a yawn, giving Mina a vague nod. “Yeah.”

“Late night?” Mina asks.

“Yeah.” Changbin stifles a smile.

“Hey.” Chanhee dumps his bag on his desk and grabs Changbin by the collar. “Hey hey _hey_.”

“What the fuck?” Mina frowns, slapping Chanhee on the hand.

Chanhee twists Changbin’s collar to face Mina. There’s a tiny, tiny drawing of a vague approximation of a penis on it. “I drew this yesterday.”

“Real mature, Chanhee.” Mina sighs.

“Yeah, but that was _yesterday_.” Chanhee drops Changbin’s collar and flicks Changbin’s flat hair. “He’s wearing the same uniform, doesn’t have anything in his hair…” Chanhee slams a hand on Changbin’s desk. “Where’d you sleep last night?”

“I stayed over at a friend’s place.” Changbin rolls his eyes. “Happy, _Sherlock_?”

Chanhee pokes Changbin in the ribs. “Which friend is this? Why don’t _we_, your _best-est _friends, know about-”

“How’s Park Hyunjin doing?” Mina cuts in, pretending to be busy unpacking her notebooks.

“We broke up.” Changbin says.

“Oh god, I’m sorry.” Mina looks up at Changbin. “How are _you_ doing?”

Changbin shrugs. “I’m fine, Mina, don’t look at me like that.”

“Have you seen Changbin?”

Hyunjin’s just burst into the cafeteria and slammed his hands on Jisung’s table, and _that’s_ the first thing he asks.

“Uh.” Jisung stops picking the spicy green leaves out of his tuna sandwich. “What?”

Hyunjin’s all jittery, like what Jisung imagines people to look like after doing a couple lines of coke. “Have you see Changbin?” He asks again.

“Uh, no, dude,” Jisung snorts. “You and I have been in the same classroom all-”

“His friends haven’t seen him either.” Hyunjin says.

Hyunjoon flops onto the table. “Whose friends haven’t seen him?”

Hyunjin purses his lips, staring pointedly at Jisung.

Jisung frowns back. “Dude, I’m sure Changbin’s just having lunch somewhere other than the cafeteria.”

“Oh hey, Hyunjin, I heard you broke up with Cap,” Hyunjoon says as he unclips the cover of his metal lunch box. Hyunjoon scrunches up his face. “I’m like, ½ so sorry for you and ½ about to hop on that, so like-”

“Have you seen Changbin?” Hyunjin asks.

“Uh, no…” Hyunjoon says. “He’s kind of a senior and I’m kind of… _not_. Are you okay, Hyunjin?”

“Where is he?” Hyunjin turns to Jisung again, tugging on his slightly-too-long hair.

“Where is who?”

Hyunjin spins around and grabs Chan by the shoulders, nearly knocking the sandwich out of his hand. “Have you seen Changbin?”

“Changbin?” Chan catches his sandwich, releasing a sigh of relief when he does. “Uh, I don’t know, I think I saw him this morning-”

“Where is he now?”

“Is everything okay?” Chan asks, leaning away from Hyunjin with a deeply concerned frown.

“Hyunjin’s being paranoid.” Jisung says.

“I’m not! We don’t know if Changbin’s fine-”

“I’m sure he is, Hyunjin,” Chan says gently. “He was fine when we all split up last night.”

“What happened last night?” Hyunjoon slams one of the metal containers of his lunchbox onto the table. “Why was _I _not invited?”

“We had to call the police.” Jisung picks out the last of the gross spicy leaves from his sandwich.

“Oh, in that case, no thanks.” Hyunjoon laughs. Then he stops. “Wait, why did you have to call the police?”

“Sorry, Hyunjoon, but it’s a personal thing.” Chan frowns and flicks Jisung on the forehead. “Stop telling everyone things that don’t involve them.”

Hyunjoon stabs his rice with his spoon. “Oh my god, you can’t just say things like that and _not_ explain-”

“I’m going to look for him.” Hyunjin says, starting for the cafeteria’s exit.

“Wait, Hyunjin,” Chan holds up an untouched sandwich still in its wrapper. “You forgot your food.”

Felix is taking his lunch box out of his locker when several shadows fall over him. He looks up. “Oh, uh, hi.”

“The practice room’s locked.” Ryujin asks. She, Chaeryeong, and Yeji have him surrounded. Felix is only slightly uncomfortable.

Felix closes his locker again and stands up. He winces. His thighs are _murdering _him. “Ow, uh, I mean, yeah, I’ll ask the janitor to open it.”

“You okay?” Yeji asks.

“Yeah, I just uh,” Felix stretches one leg with a loud and painful crack. “I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”

“Oh no,” Chaeryeong makes a face. “Is it our fault?”

Felix frowns at her. “What?”

“Are you super stressed out from teaching us…” Chaeryeong’s eyes widen suddenly. “Uh, _math_?”

Yeji and Ryujin look at her like, _What_?

“Math?” Felix asks. Then he notices the three girls looking warily at someone behind him. _Oh. _

“Hey Felix.” Changbin says, opening his locker. He closes it to reveal a shit-eating grin. “Didn’t know you taught _math_.”

“He’s really good at it!” Yeji says with so much force it’s like she’s slapping Changbin with it.

“Yeah, my grades have never been better.” Ryujin agrees.

Changbin looks at Felix, his cheek pulled taut from stopping himself from laughing. “Think you can help _me_ with math, too, Felix?”

“Fuck’s sake, Cap,” Felix says, scrunching his nose like he’s annoyed. He turns to the girls and says, “He knows about the club.”

“Oh.” Yeji and Chaeryeong say, their mouths shrinking to surprised little circles.

“Why didn’t you say so?” Ryujin flicks Felix on the arm.

“Sorry, he just found out yesterday.” Felix says, pouting as he rubs his arm.

“Good luck on your performance on Monday, guys.” Changbin says.

“Oh my gosh, thanks.” Yeji says, covering her mouth.

“We’ll need it.” Ryujin adds.

Changbin stops locking his locker and looks over at Felix. “Do you guys need any help with anything?”

“You dance too?” Chaeryeong asks.

“No.” Changbin scoffs.

Changbin tries to keep the smile on his face down to respectable levels, but he can hardly help it. Felix fumbles his way through teaching the girls, who are so optimistic about the entire endeavor that Changbin’s wondering if they’re being paid for it. But when he gives Changbin the signal to start the music, Felix’s expression changes. He pulls his shoulders back and stands up straighter, watching everyone’s reflections so intently it’s as if Changbin disappears from his view entirely.

Changbin’s never enjoyed being invisible more.

He notices his reflection in the mirror of the dance studio. He’s grinning like a fucking idiot, but he doesn’t care anymore.

A shrill bell rings on one of the lower floors.

“Lunch is over _already_? Shit.” Yeji runs and hits the stop on the radio before Changbin can. The other girls start scrambling to get their things, skittering out of the dance room like it’s on fire.

Changbin doesn’t move. He looks up at Felix, who’s been doing this one move over and over again, frowning at his reflection.

“Hey, Felix.”

Felix jumps as if he’d been shocked. “H- Yeah?”

“Lunch is over.” Changbin stands up, picking Felix’s things up along with his.

“Oh, gosh, I can get those,” Felix says, reaching for his things while Changbin opens the door. “Did you get to eat? Sorry.”

Changbin smiles at him. “I’m fine.”

“You already didn’t get any sleep because of me,” Felix says, spinning out through the doorway. “Cap, if you suddenly keel over and _die_ I’m going to-”

Changbin’s about to tease him for being dramatic when they notice someone standing at the end of the hallway.

Felix jumps with a start, nearly tripping over his own sneakers. “Hyunjin! What’re you doing here?”

Hyunjin’s not looking at Felix.

“Hey.” Changbin says.

“Hi.” Hyunjin says. “What’re you guys doing here?”

Felix clutches his things tighter. “U- Uh, I, um, I-”

“I was helping Felix with his homework.” Changbin says. “He wasn’t able to finish it yesterday.”

Hyunjin’s brow furrows deeper. “Oh.”

“Could I um, still hitch a ride with you to training later?” Changbin asks. “Is that okay? I mean, considering we’re not…”

Hyunjin lifts his eyebrows in surprise. “Oh. Of course, I mean… You did that before we dated.”

“Right.” Changbin grimaces. “Thanks.”

The bell downstairs rings, signaling the end of the five-minute grace period.

“We should all get to class.” Felix says.

“Yeah.”

Changbin walks into his classroom to find Chanhee and Mina clearly waiting for him.

“Park Hyunjin was looking for you.” Chanhee says.

“Oh, yeah, he found me.” Changbin says, sitting down so he can face away from their suspicious stares.

“Did you _really_ break up?” Chanhee asks, flinching away from a slap from Mina.

“Yes.” Changbin says.

“When did you even start dating?” Chanhee asks, folding his entire torso to avoid another slap from Mina.

“The other week.”

“Damn.” Chanhee doesn’t even try to avoid Mina’s slap on the arm. “All the popular kids are like that, though. They’re only interested for a couple of weeks then it’s goodbye.”

_That’s not how it was with us. _But Changbin’s not about to tell them that.

Their homeroom teacher walks in, telling everyone to straighten up and align the desks, they look like a jungle.

“That’s why you should date the _bottom of the food chain_,” Chanhee whispers. “They don’t have other options, so they can’t afford to get tired of you.”

“_Hey_.” Mina growls as she kicks his chair, sending Chanhee skidding into the wall, desk and all.

“Class President!” The homeroom teacher turns their way with a disappointed frown.

Changbin snorts at how quickly Mina’s expression turns innocent.

“Yes, sorry, ma’am.” Chanhee lowers his head as he realigns his desk with the others.

“Cap, can I ask you, um, a favor?”

Changbin opens his locker. _Oh shit. I don’t have my gym bag. Because I didn’t go home._

“Cap?”

“Sorry, Felix.” Changbin says, closing his locker. “What was it?”

Felix is still squatting by his own locker. He’s just pulled his gym bag out, but he just stares at it instead of slinging it over his shoulder. “I don’t think I can come to training today.”

“Are you not feeling well?”

“No, I’m fine, actually,” Felix says quickly. “But I… the girls and I need more practice. For the dance club.”

Changbin leans against the lockers. “It’s the week before semis.”

“I know, I know, but,” Felix sighs. “This is important too. I mean, actually it’s not, Vice Principal Bae’s just basically doing a cash grab. But-”

“I know you like dancing more than baseball,” Changbin says. “But we’re a team. We still need you-”

“I know!” Felix leans forward, resting his forehead on the locker above his. He shuts his eyes. “Can I ask you to do something really bad for me?”

Changbin already knows what he’s going to say. “You want me to lie to the others. And the coaches.”

Felix looks up at him, his eyes wide and desperate. “I’m sorry, Changbin, I shouldn’t have even-”

“No. I’ll cover for you.” Changbin locks his locker. “Don’t worry about it.”

“But-”

“If you let me borrow your stuff for training.”

Felix stands up and holds out his gym bag before Changbin’s even taken a breath. “Take it.”

Changbin grins, slinging it over his shoulder. “Nice doing business with you, Felix.”

Felix’s entire face heats up. “Just-”

“Hey guys!” Chan says, bouncing in through the doors to the next hallway.

Felix and Changbin turn away from each other as if they don’t know each other.

“Oh, hey Chan.”

“Hi Chan.”

If Chan thinks anything’s up, it doesn’t show on his broad smile. “Coach Park’s started the car already, so we should probably get going.”

Felix looks to Changbin.

“Okay, let’s go,” Changbin says, slinging an arm across Chan’s shoulders to lead the latter to the door.

“What about Fe-”

“He’s got a project to work on.” Changbin looks back over his shoulder and gives Felix a quick wink that Chan doesn’t see. “Right?”

“Yeah. It’s due tomorrow.” Felix says, with a smile on his face that he’s sure looks silly, but it doesn’t wipe off even as he sneaks up to the dance studio afterwards.

“Yikes.” Chan says, clearly none the wiser.

_Friday morning_

“Hey.”

Felix slams his locker shut guiltily and stands up. “Hello!”

Changbin’s mouth curls up at one side, like he’s trying very hard not to laugh. “_Hello!_” he echoes in Felix’s awkward, formal tone.

“Don’t be mean.” Felix scrunches up his nose. “What do you want?”

“Thanks for letting me borrow your stuff.” Changbin holds Felix’s duffel bag out. “I washed everything, so you can use them for training later.”

“Oh.” Felix takes the bag slowly, staring at it.

“Also I, uh, here.” Changbin places something else on top of the bag now in Felix’s arms.

Felix picks it up. It’s a chocolate bar with a pink paper bow and a card on it made from the same pink paper. _Thanks! ^-^, _it reads in Changbin’s messy handwriting.

“It’s cookies and cream.” Changbin says. “Do you like cookies and cream?”

“It’s my favorite.” Felix turns the chocolate bar over slowly.

“Oh, great. Whew,” Changbin says, pretending to wipe sweat off his forehead. “Lots of people hate white chocolate, so I kind of didn’t wanna get that one, but that was all that was left in the 7-eleven near-”

“Changbin.”

Changbin closes his mouth and raises his eyebrows. “Hm?”

“I…” Felix takes a deep breath. “Can you uh… I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“Can you do the bad thing for me again?”

Changbin’s face goes blank. “Felix, the semis are on Sunday.”

“I know.” Felix sighs.

“You said so yourself, this dance performance thing isn’t that important-”

“I know I did.” Felix says, lowering the duffel bag in defeat. “But I, I dunno, I really wanna do it right. We’re going to have to do it in front of the whole school, and we’re far from perfect-”

“I don’t want to sound selfish,” Changbin says. “But this is my last season with the team. And I’m Captain. I mean, I kind of want a win for us.”

Felix frowns. “I do, too. But you can win without me. I’m better at dancing than baseball, I don’t think I-”

“You’re good at baseball, Felix, even if you’re not as into it.” Changbin says. He looks into Felix’s eyes with a tenderness that makes Felix’s knees go numb. “And the team won’t be right without you, whether we win or not.”

Felix looks away quickly. “Sorry, Cap. You know what, you don’t need to cover for me, just tell them the truth-”

“No way.”

Felix sighs. He holds the chocolate bar out to Changbin. “I don’t deserve this. You can have it.”

“It’s a gift.” Changbin gently pushes it back to Felix with one finger. “It’d be rude to return it.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

Changbin locks his locker and leaves without saying anything else.

Felix groans and knocks his head into the nearest locker with a metallic clang. _Dammit, Felix, god damn it._

_Sunday morning_

“Are you nervous?”

Felix stops scratching at his seatbelt and sits up so straight he looks like a mannequin. “No. Do I look nervous?”

“Uh, highkey, _yes_.” His dad snorts. “Why, is it a big game today?”

“It’s the semifinals.” Felix says. “We’re up against the Bears.”

_But that’s not what I’m scared of, really._

“Pssh, you’ve beaten them before.” Felix’s dad says.

“They’ve beaten us way more times, Dad.”

“Uh…” Felix’s dad nearly forgets to stop at a red light from how hard he’s thinking. The hood of their car ends up half over the pedestrian crossing. “Oops.”

“_Dad_.” Felix chides him.

“Sorry, I’ll just,” Felix’s dad puts the car in reverse, edging backward until the car behind them honks their horn. “Oh shit, sorry.”

“Dad, the mistake’s made, just let it go.” Felix says.

“Yeah.” Felix’s dad laughs nervously, looking at the sideview mirror to catch the driver of the car behind theirs flipping him off. “_Que sera, sera._”

Felix takes a deep breath. That’s the best advice he’ll get.

He straightens his jersey out as he walks into the stadium’s lockers. The other guys are all laughing and teasing each other, and a few are singing together while Coach Wang watches on, unimpressed.

Felix practically tiptoes in with his head lowered, avoiding everyone’s eyes. He finds a free locker and opens it as carefully as he can.

Of course it screeches like a demon doused in holy water. _Because that’s just my luck_.

Everyone turns his way, including Coach Wang. “Felix!”

Felix turns to the Coach, hoping he looks like he’s sweating just a normal amount. “H- Hello, Coach Wang, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to come to training-”

“Were you able to submit your paper yesterday?” The coach asks.

“What?”

“The paper you had to work on, the one due yesterday.” Coach Wang says. “It’s all done?”

Felix mumbles out, “Y- Yes.”

“Good, I was worried you might still be cramming it today.” The coach chuckles. “They give kids too much work these days, don’t they?”

Before Felix can reply, a nearby locker slams shut. Coach Park’s behind it, frowning. “We give them just a normal amount of work, they just cram everything.”

Felix looks back at Coach Wang. The latter laughs. “As if you don’t cram, too.”

Coach Park rolls his eyes. “At least I still put out quality work when I do.”

Felix slips away from them, giving all the other guys quick greetings as he walks past them. He stops at the far end of the lockers, where no one had chosen to put their things.

_Well, no one except for Changbin. _

“You didn’t have to cover for me again.” Felix says in a low whisper.

Changbin pulls his earphones out and dumps them into his bag with his phone. He gives Felix as grimace. “There was nothing else I could do. Coach Wang scared me-”

“Coach Wang does _not_ scare you.”

Changbin’s grimace grows wider. “Okay, fine, you got me, I lied for you because I like you and I didn’t think you deserved to have everyone mad at you. Sue me.”

Felix’s frown dissipates, replaced with a small smile. “Can you say that again?”

“What?” Changbin frowns. “_Sue me_?”

“No, before that.”

“_Oh_.” Changbin nods, his face getting very red as he says, “I like you.”

Felix chews on his bottom lip to try to stop himself from smiling too much. “I like you, too.”

Coach Wang claps his hands together, the loud hollow sound echoing in the narrow locker room. “All right, everyone, come together.”

Felix sucks his cheeks in all the way to keep himself from looking like an idiot as he joins the team huddle. He has to turn to the lockers to try to fix his face while the coaches run through some last-minute reminders and plays.

Changbin doesn’t bother. He’s got a wide, sunshiny smile on as he says, “Weevils on three! One! Two!”

He hesitates for a moment, and when no one so much as squeaks, he shouts, “THREE!”

“WEEVILS!” The team shout in such unison that they stop and frown at each other.

“The fuck was that?” Jisung chortles, covering his mouth in surprise.

“Seo Changbin, best captain ever.” Chan says, smacking Changbin on the back a little too hard.

“Shut up, Chan.” Changbin laughs.

Felix doesn’t disagree with Chan, though.


	47. Lee Minho, Best Captain Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lee Minho has had a rough couple of days. _It’s hard to work harder than every last bitch in school when you’re being consumed alive by guilt._

_Wow, dramatic much. _

_I should probably write that down_. _It’s good._

“I want everyone to treat this like our last game,” Coach Yoo says to the Bears’ huddle before the game. “Because it could be. We can’t underestimate the Weevils just because we’ve beat them before.”

The boys nod solemnly.

_Way to get us all hyped up for the game, Coach._

Minho raises his hand. “Can I say something, Coach?”

“Sure, Captain.”

Minho grins. “Pizza and chicken are on me after the game.”

Seungmin lifts an eyebrow. “If we win?”

“No. Either way.” Minho shrugs as coolly as he can. “Lunch is on me.”

The locker room erupts in cheers.

_A week before_

Minho’s drying mugs and setting them on the rack when Jisung bursts out of the kitchen.

“What the fuck?” Jisung says.

Minho keeps drying the mug in his hands. “What’s up?”

“Uncle just said you’re quitting.” Jisung says. “Is he firing you?”

“No.”

Jisung heaves a sigh of relief, leaning on the sink counter next to Minho. Then he jumps up with a new frown. “Wait, so _are_ you quitting?”

“Yes.” Minho says.

“To focus on school?” Jisung makes a face. “Babe, if you study any harder, you’re going to overshoot first place and go straight to _zero_.”

Minho snorts. _That’s such a typical Jisung thing to say._

“Don’t quit,” Jisung says. “I’ll take half your shifts so you can have more time to study-”

“I’m not quitting because of school.” Minho sighs. “I’m quitting so we don’t have to see each other as often.”

Jisung stares at the ceiling for a whole minute before saying, “What?”

Minho puts the last mug on the rack. He takes a deep, tired breath and says, “Jisung.”

“Yeah?”

“Can’t you take a hint?”

Jisung grimaces. “What?”

Minho puts his hands on Jisung’s shoulders and leads him through the kitchen door to the employees’ break area. “Han Jisung.”

“Yes?”

“I’m going to say something, and I need you not to react like a crazy person about it. Got it?”

Jisung perches on the nearest stool. “Okay, sure, hit me. What’s up?”

Minho sits on the furthest possible stool. For his own safety. “I’m breaking up with you.”

Jisung knocks over all of the furniture within a one-meter radius. _As expected._

“WHAT?” Jisung yells, trying to disentangle his leg from a fallen chair. “_WHY_?”

“Because…” Minho shuts his eyes. “I’m going to Seoul for university.”

“Yeah, I know that.” Jisung says, finally pulling his foot free, though his sneaker’s left behind. “What’s that got to do with you wanting to… Oh god I can’t even say it.”

Minho tries very hard not to slap himself in the face. “I’ve been trying to explain this to you for _ages_, I can’t believe-”

“Explain what?”

“I am going to university! In a city half a day’s trip away from here!”

“So?”

“I can’t handle that kind of distance, and I know you can’t either.” Minho says. “We’re both ridiculously needy people and we can barely even stand to be in different schools _now_! Imagine what it’ll be like when there’s a whole train ride between us!”

Jisung makes a face. “We’ll work it out.”

“No, Jisung, we won’t. We’ll fight and we’ll hate each other and – God, we’d probably cheat. Don’t look at me like that.” Minho scowls. “We both would, and you know it.”

Jisung crosses his arms. “I don’t know about you, but I can 100% keep it in my pants.”

“You literally got on your knees and offered to blow me five seconds after we met.”

“But I _didn’t_!” Jisung says.

Minho groans as he starts righting all the furniture Jisung had knocked over. “Jisung, I love you a lot.”

“Make some fucking sense, Lee Minho, make it make some fucking sense.”

“I don’t want to have to cut you out of my life like all the rest of my exes.” Minho says. “You’re my best friend. And I think I need that more than a boyfriend.”

Jisung helps Minho turn the fallen stool upright. “So, let me get this straight: You’re breaking up with me because you… don’t want to break up with me?”

“Precisely.” Minho says with a sad smile.

Jisung folds in half, holding his head in agony. “Oh my _god_ my brain is too _small_ for this!”

Minho puts his arms around him, hugging him from behind. He tucks his face into the crook of Jisung’s neck. “I love you a lot, Han Jisung.”

“I love you, too.” Jisung holds onto Minho’s arms like a drowning man clings to driftwood.

“Which is why I wanted to let go of you in a nice way,” Minho says. “So we can still be friends. Unless you don’t want-”

“I want to be friends.” Jisung says slowly. “But also I want more than that.”

“Sorry, Jisung,” Minho kisses Jisung on the neck. “But you have to trust me, I’ve had exes move away for university and it… it never ends well.”

“Maybe it’ll be different for us.”

“No, it won’t. Because I’m still the same needy bitch who just isn’t built for that long-distance, trusting, no-sex-for-_weeks_ kind of shit.” Minho squeezes Jisung in his arms. “And I know you’re the same. That’s why we get along.”

Jisung doesn’t say anything for a long time. Then he sniffles loudly.

“Oh, no, Jisung, baby,” Minho turns Jisung around and hugs him from the front, placing Jisung’s face against his chest. “Don’t cry, you’re making me feel bad that I’m not crying.”

“Don’t.” Jisung blows his nose into Minho’s shirt.

“Son of a bitch.”

“Sorry.” Jisung rips a paper towel off a nearby rack and dabs it against Minho’s shirt. “I was just thinking… What if no one else wants me anymore? It took me _ages_ to find you.”

Minho sighs. “Han Jisung, you fucking idiot.”

Jisung presses the towel to his nose and blows hard. “You could at least try to bring up my self-esteem if you’re going to break up with me.”

“Oh my god.” Minho can’t help it anymore. He _does_ slap himself in the face. “First of all, you are _hardly_ seventeen _fucking_ years old, you don’t have the right to say it took _ages_ for you to get a boyfriend. My sister’s twenty-three and she still doesn’t have jack shit.”

Jisung pouts, but doesn’t say anything.

“Second of all,” Minho says. “You’re funny, smart, sexy, and really sweet when you’re not trying too hard. Of _course_ someone out there will want you. I’m sure tons of people are in fucking line, waiting for you to be available.”

Jisung blinks hard. “You always know just what to say, you know that?”

“I’m not done. Third of all, this is all frustrating me out of my fucking mind.” Minho says, untying his apron. “Can I blow you?”

Jisung frowns. “You just broke up with me.”

Minho folds his apron and tosses it aside as he drops to his knees. “We’re still friends.”

“Ah. A _friendly_, non-romantic blowjob.” Jisung nods, already unbuttoning his pants. “Perfectly normal. Just dudes being dudes.”

Minho grins up at him. “I’m so glad you understand.”

He closes his mouth around Jisung’s dick, only coming up for air when he hears Jisung’s uncle scream and drop an entire tray of muffins. _Oops. _

_If I wasn’t fired before…_

_Present_

Minho barely has to lift his glove to catch the ball.

“Out!”

A smile spreads across Jeongin’s face. The kid had never been good at hiding his emotions.

_Whatever, he’s good at what he does._

The Weevils’ next batter comes up.

Minho keeps his eyes trained dead ahead, in Jeongin’s direction.

“Hey.” Jisung says as he steps up to the plate.

“Hey.” Minho echoes without looking up.

Minho takes a quick break from being the Bears’ captain and hopes Jeongin messes this one up, so Jisung can hit the ball and start running away.

_No, there’s no reason for you to be awkward with him. You sorted things out. That’s the whole point_.

Jisung bends a little to scoop up the ball with his swing. The ball hits his bat with a loud _PING!_

Minho watches the ball fly up and out towards the opposite fence of the stadium. Jisung’s already halfway to first base.

Minho wishes Jisung weren’t so damn reliable.

_The night before_

Minho knocks on his sister’s door. He’s got their illicit gray kitten, Audrey, tucked inside his sweater. “Noona!”

“What the fuck do you want!” Soojin yells back.

Minho opens the door and closes it quickly behind him. He lifts Audrey out of his sweater and cradles her in his arms, rubbing her gently between the ears as he flops onto his sister’s bed.

“This doesn’t look ratchet, does it?” Soojin’s sitting at her vanity mirror, frowning at her reflection. Half of her hair is hanging straight down to her shoulders, while the other half is curled in fine tendrils.

“No, it’s fine.” Minho lifts both eyebrows. “Where are you going?”

“Out with my friends.”

Minho taps Audrey on the nose, grinning when Audrey snaps at his finger. “Can I come with?”

“They’re my friends from high school, not my friends now.” Soojin’s just picked up the hair iron again, but she puts it back down on the table. “Chan-gu’s going to be there.”

“So?”

Soojin rolls her eyes. “Uh, he’s your ex? That you said you never wanted to see again?”

“I have nothing but exes in this world.” Minho hums, bringing his finger close to Audrey’s grasp, then pulling it out of the way before she can catch it.

Soojin slams the hair iron down and turns to her brother with murder in her eyes. “What did you do to Jisung!”

“I broke up with him.”

“What the fuck! _Why_!” Soojin picks up the nearest thing that isn’t plugged into the wall and throws it at Minho. She had played softball for the Bearettes (an awful mascot, she knows) in high school, so the hair brush nails Minho right in the forehead. “I actually _like_ Jisung!”

Minho doesn’t even flinch. He just keeps playing with Audrey. “So do I.”

“You little bitch!” Soojin picks up another brush, this time a makeup brush, and throws it at Minho, who just calmly moves Audrey out of the way. “How dare you hurt _my little Jisung_!”

Minho scoffs. “I’m hurt, too, noona. And I’m your actual brother.”

Soojin picks up another makeup brush, then sighs and puts it back on her vanity table. She gets up and sits on the bed next to Minho. “What the fuck happened?”

“I’m going to move away next year.” Minho lays back and puts Audrey on his stomach. “I didn’t want things to go bad with him like with Chan-gu and everyone else I dated before. So I cut it off.”

Soojin takes Audrey away, cradling her in her arms. “You can’t fucking _cauterize_ relationships.”

Minho snorts. “Wow. _Cauterize_. Dad would probably be proud of you if he heard that.”

“Well, he’s not going to. He can eat shit.” Soojin takes one hand off the kitten to flick her brother on the cheek. “How’s Jisung taking it?”

“I don’t know.” Minho says. “I haven’t talked to him.”

“Move over.” Soojin grumbles. She uses one foot to roll Minho to the side of the bed before flopping down next to him.

“I thought you were going out.” Minho says.

“Fuck that, I don’t want to. Besides, my hair’s not cooperating today, I’m not about to show up there _not_ hot.” Soojin reaches for a pillow to place under her head. “And I don’t want to deal with Chan-gu asking me about you anyway.”

“He does?”

“Of course he does.” Soojin groans. “And I don’t even know if he actually cares or if he just wants to hear you’re suffering or whatever.”

“I _am_ suffering.”

“Tell him yourself. I’m not going out anymore.” Soojin says. “Besides, your suffering is self-inflicted. Shame on you for breaking Jisung’s heart.”

Minho tries to reach for Audrey, but Soojin holds her out of his reach. “I was kinda hoping you would be on my side.”

“What, _blood is thicker than water_? Dream on. I’m Team Jisung all the way.” Soojin lowers Audrey onto her chest, rubbing the kitten on the back. “No one _told_ you to be an ambitious bitch and study in Seoul. You could’ve always just stayed here like me.”

“I know.” Minho sighs. “But I _want_ to study there.”

“You just want the diploma from a big-name university.”

“So what if I do!” Minho rolls over onto his belly in frustration. “I want the stupid well-known university degree and the stupid awards and the stupid career and the stupid money of my own so I never have to ask our parents for _shit_ ever again!”

Soojin tilts her face away when Audrey sneezes. “Don’t you want, I don’t know, a decent relationship with a nice boy?”

“Of course I want that, too. I want someone who loves me. And is good in bed.” Minho rolls onto his back again. “But I want this university, and that’s more pressing. I wish I could just want it without feeling guilty.”

“You want _everything_, Minho,” Soojin sighs. “That’s what makes you feel bad.”

Minho covers his face with both hands. “How do you _not_ want everything?”

Soojin turns to face him, resting Audrey on the bedcover between them. “I don’t know, Minho, I’ve always been an underachiever.”

“I wish I were like you.”

“No, you don’t.” Soojin laughs. “Someone’s got to be the Successful Kid out parents can be proud of. I’ve already called dibs on Useless Slut They Don’t Talk About.”

Minho takes his hands off his face and frowns at her. “Don’t say that. You may be a slut, but you’re not useless.”

“Wow. Thanks.” Soojin takes the pillow out from under her head and smacks Minho in the face with it. “Rude bitch.”

Minho hugs the pillow before Soojin can pull it back. “Can I ask you for a favor, noona?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Can you call Jisung’s uncle back?”

Soojin glares at him. “What. The fuck? _Now_ you want me to go out with Jisung’s uncle? That ship has passed, Minho, I’ve left him on read for like a _month_-”

“Just to check in on Jisung.” Minho says.

Soojin sits up so suddenly that Audrey’s startled. Soojin picks her up and rubs her between the ears to soothe her.

“I don’t know what’s going on in your big fat head, but let me say that again for you, in normal people words,” Soojin says, slowing her voice down like she’s talking to a toddler. “You want me to go on a date your ex-boyfriend’s _uncle_… so I can find out how said ex-boyfriend is taking your fucking _breakup_?”

Minho pouts at her. “Yes. Please.”

“Who even talks about their nephew on a first date?” Soojin shakes her head. “Besides, I’m sure Younghyun knows you two aren’t-”

“He probably doesn’t.” Minho says, blushing suddenly. “And he talks about Jisung all the time. You never have to even ask him.”

Soojin shuts her eyes. “I still think this is a bad idea. Considering it came from the guy who thought it would be a good idea to break up with _Han Jisung_, best boy on Earth-”

“You don’t have to do it, noona.” Minho sighs. “You’re right. It’s stupid.”

“No.” Soojin gets off the bed and starts for her vanity mirror. She types something into her phone, then picks up the iron and starts curling the other half of her hair.

Minho sits up with a frown. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going on a date with Jisung’s uncle.” Soojin says, picking up her reddest tube of lipstick. “Because I’m the _Useful_ Slut Our Parents Don’t Talk About.”

Minho jumps off the bed to hug his sister. “Thanks, noona.”

Soojin shakes him off. “Don’t ruin my hair. Go get me something to wear.”

“Tits out?” Minho asks, opening her walk-in closet.

“And booty poppin’.” Soojin concurs.

_Present_

Minho practically has to drag himself and the bat to the plate.

It’s the bottom of the last inning, and everyone’s starting to look tired except the crowd. The Bears would get a few runs in, then the crowd would cheer. Then the Weevils would take those points back, and the crowd would cheer again. Minho figures it must be exciting to watch, but he hates games like this where you don’t feel like you’re _getting_ anywhere.

_You want the championship. You want the championship. You want the championship_, He chants to himself in his head as he lugs his cleats in the dirt. _And you won’t get the championship if you let the game finish with the Weevils’ two-run lead._

He lifts the bat. Some pitchers have a tough time with left-handed batters like Minho, but he hasn’t had any such luck with Park Hyunjin.

Hyunjin blinks vaguely like the android he is. He pulls his shoulders back as he winds up for a pitch.

“Strike!”

Minho knew he wouldn’t be able to hit that one anyway. Coach Yoo had warned him about how fast Park Hyunjin’s pitches had gotten recently. Minho had just joked that she’s been camping out at all the Weevils’ games with a speed radar gun.

But he feels threatened. And a little jealous.

_Why does your brain work this way? Why can’t you just accept other people being better than you? At something you don’t even do???_

Minho swings the bat.

“Strike!”

Minho glances back at Coach Yoo, whose face is scrunched up like, _Sorry, Minho. _

Minho frowns, stepping back from the plate as he takes a breath. _We’re two outs in. Jeongin’s on second. Seungmin’s on third. And I’m going to _waste_ all that?_

_I think the fuck not._

“You good?” Chan asks, eyebrows furrowed in worry like Bang Chan that he is.

Minho nods and steps back by the plate.

He glances at Jeongin. _We’re taking the championship._

Jeongin nods. He’s already inching away from the base, right under Hyunjoon’s nose.

Minho looks over at Seungmin on third, giving him a nod. _The championship’s ours._

Seungmin lifts an eyebrow, but bends down, getting ready to run.

Changbin, who’s playing third baseman, frowns. Minho catches him mouth something to Jisung out of the corner of his eye, but Minho doesn’t care. None of them are getting between him and the goddamned championship.

Hyunjin releases a pitch that Minho knows is too fast for him to catch.

So he swings a beat ahead, hoping for the best.

The bat rings like a bell as the ball flies up and out.

Minho sprints towards first, watching Felix and the other outfielders running like their lives depend on it, too.

His foot barely grazes the base. He’s already pivoted to run to second.

Felix picks up the ball and throws it.

Minho’s not yet at third. Seungmin and Jeongin have safely crossed the home plate. _But that’s not going to cut it. _

The ball lands in Jisung’s glove with a loud thwack.

Minho’s just touched third base. _No. _

He pushes harder, though it’s like he’s reached the limit of how fast he can run. His body seems to move slower and slower instead, like he’s swimming through honey.

_No way is _Jisung_ getting between me and the championship._

Minho dives, reaching out for the home plate. He shut his eyes to keep the red dust of the diamond out, and it’s like his ears shut, too, because he doesn’t hear anything that happens next.

He finds himself panting in the dirt, looking up at the clear clue sky. And Bang Chan extending a hand to him, like the Bang Chan that he is.

Minho takes the hand and pulls himself up. Chan’s still smiling, but he’s weirdly quiet. _All_ the Weevils are weirdly quiet.

“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH CAAAAAAPTAAAAAIN!” Seungmin yells from the Bears’ dugout, surprising even Coach Yoo, who’d already cupped her hands around her mouth to yell.

Minho staggers back to the dugout, feeling dazed and a little nauseous. He barely manages to exchange a high-five with Joonyoung, who’s stepping up to bat next.

“Good job, Captain,” Coach Yoo says, clapping him on the back. “_Great_ job.”

Minho dumps himself onto the bench. _I did it. _

He looks out at Jisung in the diamond. His shoulders are sloping more than usual.

_Minho, you _bitch_._

“Sorry.” Minho says, extending a hand to Changbin.

“Don’t be.” Changbin laughs and tugs on Minho’s hand, pulling him in for a hug. “Congrats, Minho.”

Minho would usually be ready to cut a bitch to get a hug from Seo Changbin, but he just sighs. He accepts a hug from every one of the Weevils – even the android, Hyunjin.

Then he gets to the end of the line.

“Congratulations.” Jisung mutters. He looks more torn-up than any of the seniors on their team. Minho can guess why.

“Thanks.” Minho says. “You guys gave us a hard time, though.”

“Don’t we always.” Jisung chuckles, but his smile doesn’t reach his eyes.

Minho shakes his hand then walks to the lockers as quickly as he can.

“Wait, Minho.”

He doesn’t turn around.

“I have something to give you.”

Minho stops and turns to Jisung, frowning. “What?”

“I left it in the locker.” Jisung nods towards the Weevils’ assigned locker room, opposite the hallway from the Bears’.

Minho knows better than to trust himself to be alone with Jisung right now. “I’ll wait for you here.”

“Okay.” Jisung turns to their lockers. “I’ll be right back.”

_One year and seven months ago_

Minho doesn’t know a single person at this party.

_Perfect. _

Minho sways with the music as he searches for something to snack on. He’s taking his sister’s advice – _Strange_, he knows – and trying hanging out with kids his age for a change.

_“You’re only a high school junior.” _She’d said. _“Don’t you think it’s kinda sketchy that you keep dating college guys?”_

_“No.” _Minho had said, but he does think about it. _It’s a little bit sketchy._

_But high schoolers are so… gross._

“Hi.” One of the gross high schoolers comes up to him. He’s tiny, his haircut is terrible, he’s got retainers, and his hoodie looks like he’s had it from the sixth grade.

But Minho finds it a little endearing. He’s like a stray cat.

“Hi.” Minho replies.

“You’re gorgeous.” The gross high schooler says.

“I know.” Minho laughs. _The bar here is set really low._

“Can I, uh,” The gross high schooler glances at something behind Minho. “Can I uh, would you be interested in a… uh… um…”

Minho rolls his eyes. “Sorry, I don’t have any cash on me-”

“A blowjob?” The gross high schooler says.

Minho blinks at him. Clearly gross high schoolers have changed since he last spent time around them. “Pardon?”

“Can I suck you off, _beautiful_?” The gross high schooler says, grimacing.

Minho snorts. “Absolutely not.”

The gross high schooler walks backward into another hallway, calling Minho over with one hand.

Minho crosses his arms. But he doesn’t have anything better to do, and if things turn weird, he could _definitely _whoop this kid’s ass. So he follows the gross high schooler into the empty hallway. _What’s the worst that could happen?_

The gross high schooler shuts the door behind Minho with a sense of urgency that Minho knows must be a red flag. “Okay, let me explain myself.”

“You think I’m pretty and you wanna fuck me,” Minho shrugs. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I don’t.” The high schooler says. “I mean, you _are_ pretty, don’t get me wrong, but I just have a bet with my friend and I _really_ need to win it.”

Minho smirks. Gross high schoolers have gotten a _little_ more interesting. “What’s the bet?”

“He bet that you were too, uh… That you would say no to me.” The high schooler says. “I bet otherwise.”

“I’m with him on this one.” Minho leans against the doorframe, watching the high schooler pout. “How much did you bet?”

“50k.” The high schooler replies, hanging his head.

“Okay.” Minho nods. “We’ll split it, 70-30.”

“What?”

“I get 35k for going around telling everyone we hooked up, and you get the other 15k.”

“Hold up.” The high schooler frowns. “You wouldn’t even be coming into _any_ money if it hadn’t been for me. It should be 30-70.”

Minho is tempted to say he could just give the kid the whole 50k out of his pocket, but that wouldn’t be entirely true. All Minho’s got in his pocket is a credit card.

“Fine, 50-50.” Minho says.

“40-60.” The high schooler says. “30k for me.”

“Deal.” Minho says.

The high schooler’s eyes bug out in surprise. “What, really?”

Minho extends his hand. “Take it or leave it, kid.”

The high schooler shakes his hand. “Who’re you calling _kid_? We’re probably the same age.”

“Doubt it. How old are you?”

“Fifteen.”

Minho snorts.

“I’m turning sixteen _tomorrow_!”

“Oh, happy birthday, then…” Minho realizes he doesn’t even know this guy’s name.

“Jisung.” The guy replies. “Han Jisung.”

“Happy Birthday, Jisung.” Minho holds up his watch. It’s just struck midnight.

“Holy shit.” Jisung gasps. “I have to go.”

Minho laughs at Jisung’s nervous grimace, the kid’s buck teeth out on display. “What, like _Cinderella_?”

Jisung pulls his phone out of his pocket. “I, uh, can I get your number?”

“Is this another bet?”

“No, I need to contact you, so you can get your 20k.” Jisung holds his phone out to Minho.

“_Sure_,” Minho doesn’t care about the money, but he adds his name and number to Jisung’s contacts anyway. “Here you go.”

“Thanks.” Jisung glances at his phone before pocketing it. He waves, one hand already on the doorknob. “See you around, then, Lee Minho!”

“Okay.” Minho waves back. Then he realizes he hadn’t asked what _specifically_ he was supposed to go around telling everyone. He shrugs and leaves the room, pretending to be zipping his jeans up. He catches some people looking his way curiously, and forces his face to redden as he looks away.

_Forget 20k, just give me the whole fucking Oscar._

_Present_

Minho leans against the wall, trying to brush the red dirt off his jersey while waiting for Jisung to come out of the lockers.

“Hey, thanks for waiting.” Jisung barrels out of the lockers like he does out of every room. _Like he’s just robbed a bank._ He’s carrying a dark black bundle under one arm.

Minho frowns at it. _Is that…_

Jisung hands it over. “Your sister left this at our place yesterday. I mean, this morning. I mean…”

“Oh.” Minho takes the bundle slowly, realizing it’s his sister’s leather jacket. He hadn’t been able to talk to her yet, because she hadn’t been home yet when he’d left for this game. He doesn’t know whether to be impressed or embarrassed that she’d taken her “job” so seriously. “I’ll give it to her. Thanks.”

Jisung nods slowly. Then he looks up at Minho. “I can’t believe you sent your sister to spy on me.”

Minho’s entire face reddens. “I didn’t-”

“Don’t worry, Uncle didn’t pick up on it.” Jisung says.

_But you did. Of course you did. _Minho shield his face with one hand from shame. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it was kinda funny. And I think my uncle actually likes her a lot.” Jisung says. “But then again, he’s a notorious _simp_.”

Minho can’t help but snort.

“I was kinda flattered, actually.” Jisung grins, though it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I was thinking like, _Wow, Minho’s worried enough about me to bribe his noona into sleeping with my disgusting uncle._”

“I _did_ mean it when I said I loved you, Jisung.” Minho mumbles.

“I know you did. You can’t even look at me,” Jisung says, with a dry chuckle.

“I’m sorry for hurting you. I didn’t know what I was thinking.” Minho says. “But I don’t think we can, uh, undo it.”

“No, I don’t think-”

The Weevils come flooding into the hallway, shouting like they’d just won the championship.

“DROP TOP PORSCHE!”

“ROLLIE ON MY WRIST!”

“DIAMONDS UP AND DOWN MY CHAIN!”

“WUH-_HUH_!”

Minho presses himself against the wall, grimacing while they pass. He looks over the stream of Weevils at Jisung, who’s pressed against the opposite wall.

Jisung’s mouth is pulled into a little line, his cheeks puffing out. He’s getting red from stopping himself from joining in.

Minho snorts. ‘Go ahead,’ He mouths.

“MY BIG FAT ASS GOT ALL THEM GIRLS WHAT?” Jisung yells, one hand cupped around one ear.

“_SHOOK_!” The Weevils shout back in unison.

“WHY BIG FAT _BOOGIES_ GOT ALL THE BOYS WHAT?” Jisung yells.

“_COOKED_!”

Minho laughs, shimmying along with Felix as he passes.

Then he’s left alone with Jisung in the hallway again, which is uncomfortably silent without the other Weevils.

“Sorry.” Jisung says. “Where were we?”

“I don’t want to get back together.” Minho says. “But I want to be friends. I can’t stand this shit anymore.”

“It’s only been a few days, drama queen.” Jisung laughs.

“I hate it.” Minho says. “I miss you.”

“You miss being bothered while you’re studying?”

Minho rolls his eyes. But he smiles at Jisung. “You don’t miss me?”

“I miss you a lot.” Jisung’s lower lip trembles.

Minho finds himself opening his arms. Jisung walks in for a dusty, sweaty hug.

Minho frowns. He’s never hugged any of his exes before. He’s fucked them, sure, on a bad day, but never just hugged them like this.

He wraps his arms tighter around Jisung. “I, uh, said something stupid a while ago.”

“Which one?”

“Fuck you.” Minho sucker punches Jisung lightly in the ribs. Then he hugs him again. “I promised my whole team we’d have lunch together. My treat.”

“Oh ho ho,” Jisung wiggles his shoulders. “Fuck the Weevils, I’m a _Bear_ now.”

Minho laughs at him, pushing him away. “You’re betraying your team for _pizza_?”

“What team? I’m a Bear.” Jisung curls his hands into a vague approximation of paws. “Rawr.”

Minho notices someone step out of the Weevils’ lockers. “Hey, Changbin, Jisung’s ditching your team for mine!”

Changbin holds the door open for Felix, who looks troubled. “What?”

“Minho’s buying everyone on their team lunch!” Jisung squeaks.

“You fucking mercenary.” Changbin says, walking over to whack Jisung on the back of his head. He grins at Minho. “Where’s lunch, Captain?”

“You’re a Bear now, too?” Minho smirks.

“We’re all Bears now if there’s free lunch.” Felix says.

Minho rolls his eyes. “Call Chan and the others, let’s go.”

“YAY!”

“PIZZA!”

“LEE MINHO BEST CAPTAIN EVER!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is finesse.mp3 cancelled because i still bop to it 😢


	48. “I don’t love Hyunjin” – Seo Changbin

“Are you gonna eat that?” Seungmin asks, using his nose to point at the now cold slice of pizza on Hyunjin’s plate.

“What? Oh. No, you can have it.” Hyunjin nudges the whole plate in Seungmin’s direction.

Seungmin doesn’t touch the pizza. “Okay, what’s up?”

Hyunjin doesn’t say anything, but he’s been staring across the pizza parlor for the past ten minutes now. Seungmin follows his line of sight.

Changbin’s trying to shake his hair out of his eyes, because he can’t just put down the chicken wing in one hand and the slice of pizza in the other.

_Ugh. _Seungmin shudders. _Boys._

“I thought you’re the one who ended things.” Seungmin says, picking up a knife to cut Hyunjin’s pizza into bite sizes. He spears one piece on a fork and holds it up to Hyunjin’s mouth. “Eat.”

Hyunjin opens his mouth obediently and takes the pizza, chewing it slowly, like a cow.

Seungmin sighs. “You can always _un_-end things. Maybe he still likes you, too. Who knows? Eat.” He holds up another piece of pizza.

Hyunjin eats it. “No, that’s not…”

“Seungmin, my brother’s perfectly capable of feeding himself.” Jinyoung says from further down the long table. He’s on his third slice of Lee Minho-sponsored pizza.

Seungmin puts his fork down. “I would like to see it happen.”

Hyunjin frowns at him. Then he takes Seungmin’s fork and stuffs three pieces into his mouth. “Thew. Habby?”

“Quite.” Seungmin says dryly. He looks back at Changbin, who’s finally given up on his hair.

Felix laughs and wipes his hands on a tissue, reaching up to brush Changbin’s hair off his face.

His fingers linger there just a little _too_ long.

Changbin turns to thank Felix, their faces are just a little _too_ close.

_Oh. _Seungmin thinks. He looks back at Hyunjin, who’s watching the other two with a deeply constipated look on his face, for the lack of a better term. _Oh dear._

Seungmin’s walking the dogs with Hyunjin later that afternoon when he brings it up. “It’s a bit rude of him to replace you so quickly.”

“No, that’s not…” Hyunjin frowns, allowing himself to get pulled forward by two of the bigger dogs. “I’m worried.”

Seungmin sighs as he untangles one of the smaller dogs from hanging himself on his own leash. “What about?”

“Changbin’s… there’s still something up with him and…” Hyunjin gives Seungmin a pained look, like he’s run out of words.

“It’s not your job to fix him.” Seungmin says. “There are professionals for that.”

“Yeah, but it’s making him…” Hyunjin chews on his lip. “He goes very _fast_.”

Seungmin’s more than a little concerned now. “What do you mean?”

“Like, he… and I…” Hyunjin’s face blushes. “He’s a little… uh, aggressive.”

Seungmin stops walking. “Do I have to kill Seo Changbin?”

“No, no,” Hyunjin lets out a nervous chuckle. “It’s nothing like that.”

“Then what _is_ it like?” Seungmin asks. “Because it’s sounding like I’m gonna have to commit murder pretty soon.”

“Please don’t murder Changbin, he didn’t do anything to me.” Hyunjin says. “It’s okay, what he does, he’s just uh, a really sexy person.” Hyunjin’s eyes glaze over. “Sometimes I still think about…”

Seungmin rolls his eyes. Sometimes he wishes sex were never invented. “So you’re worried about Lee Felix?”

“Yes!” Hyunjin claps his hands together, and all the three dogs whose leashes he’s holding look back at him irritably. “Sorry.”

“So,” Seungmin says. “I’m going to have to kill Changbin anyway if he does anything to Felix?”

“No.” Hyunjin says. “I’ll kill him myself. Felix is a sweet baby.”

“He’s only a year younger than us.”

“That’s _very_ much younger than Changbin.” Hyunjin’s brow wrinkles with worry. “It’s not that I don’t trust Changbin with him, but…”

“You don’t trust Changbin with him.” Seungmin says.

“Yeah.”

“Papa!” Felix says, leaning on the apartment door so it doesn’t close. “Changbin’s staying over tonight if it’s okay!”

“Oh, sure.” Felix’s papa turns away from the stove he’s scrubbing. “Hi, Changbin.”

“Hi, Uncle Matt!” Changbin says.

Felix has just kicked his shoes off and stepped into the apartment, but he’s already running from one closet to another. He hands Changbin a stack of things. “Here’s a towel and a toothbrush and an extra set of clothes and a pillow and-”

“Your parents know you’re here, right?” Felix’s papa asks.

“Oh, shoot.” Felix’s dad smacks himself on the forehead before dropping his keys in the dish by the counter. “I knew I was forgetting something.”

They turn to Changbin, who’s carrying so much that it covers half his face. “Um…”

“Yeah, he called his mom during lunch.” Felix says, taking Changbin by the shoulders to steer him to his room.

Felix closes the door. He’s sweating more than he did the entire game. He could never be a spy or anything like that, because he’d just be drenched in sweat the whole time.

“Why did you lie to them?” Changbin asks.

“It’s just a small lie,” Felix pinches two fingers together to illustrate. “It’s not going to hurt anybody.”

“Small lies grow into bigger ones.” Changbin says. “Like _Clifford_.”

Felix frowns at him. “Like _what_?”

“Never mind.” Changbin laughs. “You can take a shower first-”

“No, you go first.”

“Felix, go ahead.”

“You’re the guest. Shower first.”

Changbin sighs. “We can’t _both _shower first.”

Felix blushes so hard he feels dizzy. He sits down on his chair, his brain running a thousand miles a minute.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean…” Changbin covers his mouth with one hand. “I’ll shower first.”

Felix nods vaguely. “Yes. Go ahead. Please.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

Felix spins around in his chair. They’d just had dinner and watched a movie with Felix’s dads (in the living room, of course, those two _hate_ going out), and now they’re in Felix’s room with nothing to do.

_Never a good thing._

“We don’t have to do this, I mean.” Felix says. “Like _right_ now.”

“Nah, sure, whatever,” Changbin shrugs. “What have I got to lose?”

Felix grimaces at him. _That is _not_ the kind of attitude_…

Changbin leans over Felix and clicks the button. “There.”

“Wait!” Felix yelps, just as Changbin scoots away on the office chair they’d stolen from Felix’s papa’s home office.

Felix turns to the webcam slowly, his eyes wide. “Uh… Hey guys, w- what’s up, it’s ya boi, Felix.”

He rolls his chair closer, a wide, forced smile on his face. He reaches to terminate the livestream, but he notices the viewer counter.

  1. _ Dammit._

He scoots back a safe distance and rests his hand on the mouse, zooming around absently in his Minecraft city. “Uh, anyway, I’m gonna, uh, yeah, so I’ll be adding some more to the east side of the city today- _Ow_!”

Felix glares at Changbin, who’s just kicked him in the shin. ‘What?’ He mouths.

‘What am _I_ going to do?’ Changbin mouths back, just safely offscreen.

Felix shuts his eyes. Then he looks back into the webcam. “Uh, yeah, forgot to mention, I’ve got my uh… my…”

Felix frowns at Changbin, mouthing, ‘Get your ass here!’

Changbin rolls into view, but he’d kicked too hard and starts rolling out of view again. “Whoops.”

Felix rolls his eyes and pulls Changbin back onscreen again. “Everyone, this is my, um… my-”

“Changbin!” Changbin throws both arms up excitedly. “Woo!”

Felix laughs, poking Changbin in the stomach. “_Anyway_, he’s going to help me with my city, because he knows this place better than I do.”

“Yeah.” Changbin nods. “You could even say I’m an expert on this city.”

Felix stares at him. “Really. And what are your credentials?”

“I’ve never lived anywhere else.”

“In that case, there are _thousands_ of experts on this city.” Felix chortles. “Silly.”

“Oh. Sorry.” Changbin laughs. He puts one hand on the mouse, then freezes as if Felix’s stream had lagged.

“What’s up?” Felix asks, blinking at him with his eyes wide in concern.

Changbin gives him an embarrassed smile. “Uh, how do you put the… uh… the _cubes_?”

The screen turns gray, with a message that his livestream’s officially ended. Felix turns to Changbin. “So what do you wanna do n-”

Changbin yawns so wide Felix can see his back teeth. “Oh, oh shit, sorry.” Changbin covers his mouth.

“It’s okay.” Felix laughs. “We should probably get some sleep. School tomorrow and all that.”

“Oh. Right. School.” Changbin stares into space. “I can’t believe I forgot about school.”

“You can just borrow one of my uniforms, they’re all a bit loose on me anyway,” Felix notices Changbin hasn’t blinked in over a minute. “Why? Do you have an exam tomorrow?”

“No!” Changbin jumps to his feet. “_You_! Your dance club thing is tomorrow!”

“Oh, yeah.” Felix shrugs, kicking stuff out of the way to unroll a futon on the floor next to his bed.

“You need to rest!” Changbin says. “And you can’t sleep on the _floor_-”

“It’s not that big of a deal, Changbin.” Felix laughs.

“It _is_!” Changbin sweeps Felix up and dumps him on the bed. “Go! Sleep!”

Felix lays there, breathless partly from laughing so hard, and partly from being the receiving end of a rather gentle pro wrestling move. “Calm down, Changbin. I’ve been to like, a million recitals before.”

“But you need rest and energy and-” Changbin reaches out and flicks the light off. “Sleep! Now!”

Felix laughs. “You can’t just tell me to sleep and-”

“Lee Felix I will _fight_ you if you don’t sleep right now.”

Felix sits up, grinning at Changbin’s barely lit up silhouette under the faint glow from the stars on the ceiling. “I’m not sleepy yet-”

“Don’t make me come over there.” Changbin threatens, sitting up on the futon. “Lie down and sleep!”

Felix doesn’t budge. “I can sleep on the floor-”

Changbin stands up so suddenly that Felix scoots back in fear.

“What are you-”

Changbin picks Felix up like a baby, holding him up with one arm while he pulls the bedcovers back. Then he dumps Felix onto the bed and lays the blanket over him, tucking the edges underneath the mattress before Felix can say anything.

“Sleep.” Changbin says, before lying back down on the futon.

Felix’s heart is racing. He’s never going to sleep _now_.

_The next morning_

Changbin runs into his classroom. He sees his homeroom teacher and dips into a deep, apologetic bow. “I’m so sorry I’m late, ma’am.”

The homeroom teacher huffs. “And what’s your excuse today?”

“I… My uncle couldn’t get the car started.” Changbin says.

The homeroom teacher rolls her eyes. “Come here, Changbin.”

Changbin frowns, but he walks up onto the platform next to the teacher. His classmates are all staring at him with wide eyes. “W- What-”

“I know you only have two months left in the year, and you think these two months are unimportant, but I would like all of you to know that they are still _very_ important.” The homeroom teacher picks up a meterstick, which she points at Changbin’s feet.

Changbin frowns down at his feet. “I, uh, I’ll wash my shoes-”

“And fold your pants! Such a disgrace,” The homeroom teacher clicks her tongue. “And why are your pants so long, you’re already a senior!”

“It’s because he only grew 5 cm the entire high school, Teacher.” Chanhee reports from his seat.

Changbin glares at him. ‘Fuck you, man,’ He mouths as the entire class erupts in laughter.

“This is not a laughing matter!” The homeroom teacher squawks above the noise. “You must carry your school uniform with respect and digni-”

She’s interrupted by a loud screech of feedback over the school’s PA system.

Changbin covers his ears, frowning.

“Hi, hello, sorry,” The voice of the vice principal comes crackling over the speakers, which Changbin has the feeling are older than him. “This is the Vice Principal. All first period classes are cancelled for today.”

Changbin’s entire class cheers and yells.

“Instead, we will be having a surprise school assembly in the auditorium. There will be esteemed guests present, so please behave yourselves accordingly. Thank you.”

There’s a small thump like something falling over, then static, then nothing.

Changbin looks at his homeroom teacher, who looks even more appalled than she’d been at Changbin’s (Felix’s) too-long pants.

“Y- You heard the vice principal,” The homeroom teacher waves her hands like she’s shooing strays. “Go to the auditorium. _Quietly_!”

Changbin sneaks away while she’s distracted. He nearly runs into Coach Park, who’s standing outside the classroom with a frown on his face a stack of papers under one arm.

“So much for a pop quiz.” Coach Park mutters, looking down at the stack of papers he’s holding. He looks at Changbin. “Don’t look so happy.”

“O- Oh, no, Coach, I’m not happy about the quiz being cancelled.” Changbin says, unable to bite back on his smile. He joins the flood of students making their way to the auditorium.

Yeji’s desperately trying to tie Ryujin’s hair in a ponytail, but the hairtie just keeps sliding off.

“Forget it.” Felix says. He holds up a cap. “This should work.”

“You’re a fucking genius.” Ryujin puts the cap on, then spins it backwards.

“No, ew, don’t do that.” Chaeryeong says, turning Ryujin’s cap the right way around again.

Yeji fixes Felix with one of her unnecessarily intense stares. “Are you nervous?”

Felix shakes his arms, then his legs. “Just a little bit. You have the music, Chaeryeong?”

“Yeah,” Chaeryeong holds up a tiny white flash drive with a Cinnamaroll sticker on it. “But I don’t know who’s assigned to the tech booth-”

“I’ll do it.”

The girls all turn and stare, their mouths slightly open.

Felix smiles. “Thanks, Changbin.”

“No prob.” Changbin opens a hand for Chaeryeong to drop the flash drive into. “Good luck out there, guys.”

“Aww, thanks,” Ryujin says, clasping her hands together. “We’ll need it.”

“Shut up, Ryujin.” Yeji flicks Ryujin’s cap off. She turns to Felix. “We’ve got this.”

“Yeah.” Felix smiles proudly at the three girls in their all-denim outfits. “Let’s go, W______ High Dance Club.”

Changbin looks out of the tech booth. The vice principal is still talking.

“…so thank you again, uh, drama club,” The vice principal says, waving away a crowd of students in papier mâché fruit costumes. “That was a most… _healthy_ performance.”

She claps her hands together and looks out the audience, who haven’t stopped laughing at the drama club. Changbin has the feeling she’d pulled them out of her ass, too, like the dance club Felix was suddenly in. _Poor woman._

“Now, the last, but _definitely_ not the least,” The vice principal says, suddenly reenergized. “Is W_____ High’s very own Dance Club!”

The audience is too confused to applaud. Changbin can understand why. Faking a drama club is easy enough, but faking a dance club is… impossible.

“Put your hands together.” The vice principal grips the mic, glaring at the entire student body in a threatening way. “For the dance club!”

Sparse applause comes from the corners of the auditorium.

Changbin dims the lights. Felix walks out onstage alone.

There’s a yelp from the audience. _Probably one of the other guys on the team. Likely Jisung._

Felix’s confidence dissipates as he rushes back to the wings.

Changbin keeps the lights dimmed as Felix drags Ryujin and Chaeryeong out, while Yeji pushes them all from behind.

They argue for a moment, too quietly for Changbin to hear, but they eventually get into formation.

Changbin brings the lights up with one hand, clicking play on the file in Chaeryeong’s flash drive on the tech booth’s computer.

_SVT-Pretty U-totally not stolen.mp3 _starts playing over the auditorium’s speakers.

Changbin settles into his seat, looking out of the tech booth’s window with a silly smile on his face.

Felix spins into the last formation just as the music stops, his chest rising and falling as he pants.

_Nobody’s clapping. Why is nobody clapping._

_Clap, you ingrates! Even _Seventeen_ never performed this song with a tap dance break!_

Someone jumps to their feet, clapping over their head with their entire arms.

Felix squints in the glare of the stage lights.

Someone in the audience starts… _barking_?

Then the entire student body jumps to their feet, clapping and barking like wild dogs.

Felix grins and takes the girls’ hands for a bow.

“Mr. Felix sir!” Dongpyo races down the hallway, only stopping to salute Felix. “Is the dance club accepting applicants?”

“Hey, you _already _have baseball,” Chan laughs, ruffling the kid’s hair. He reaches out a hand to high-five Felix. “Great job a while ago!”

“Thanks, Chan.”

“YO!” Hyunjoon and Jisung arrive, barking at Felix.

_So it was them. Why am I not surprised. _

“Who the fuck is Seventeen?” Jisung says, pretending to shake his head in dismay. “I only know _Lee Felix.”_

“Shut up, how dare you say that about Seventeen.” Hyunjoon slaps him.

“Thanks, guys.” Felix says.

“Is this why you’ve been skipping training so much?” Hyunjoon laughs, poking Felix in his side.

Felix’s face blanches. “Uh…”

Jisung’s smile fades.

“Boys, don’t block the corridors.” Coach Park says, waving a textbook at the boys crowded around Felix. He notices Felix. “Oh, Felix, I wanted to talk to you for a minute.”

Felix swallows. “Me?”

“Yeah. Did you bring lunch, or are you going to buy from the cafeteria?”

“I… brought lunch.” Felix mumbles.

“Oh, okay. I’ll just borrow five minutes of your time.” Coach Park says with a smile that looks easygoing enough. He narrows his eyes at the other boys. “The rest of you, behave like humans.”

Changbin opens his locker and pulls out his lunch. He can’t believe Felix’s dad had made lunch for him, too.

_Speaking of Felix… _He looks down at Felix’s locker. _Where is he?_

Changbin hasn’t seen him since the assembly.

He unwraps his sandwich, taking a few bites as he walks up the stairs. The other club rooms have people coming in and out of them, but Changbin just weaves past them. He stops at the end of the hallway.

There doesn’t seem to be any light from inside the dance studio, but it won’t be the first time Felix has forgotten to turn the lights on.

He twists the doorknob. It’s locked.

_Huh. _

Changbin wraps up his sandwich and starts back downstairs. He heads to the cafeteria, looking for the others, but Jisung’s standing on the bench yelling something at Juyeon. _They’re never hard to find. _

“Hey, have any of you guys seen Felix?”

They all shake their heads with varied levels of respectability.

“Oh, he was talking to Coach Park earlier.” Jisung says, climbing down from the bench just as one of the PE teachers walks into the cafeteria.

“Okay, thanks.”

Changbin frowns as he searches every possible place they could be in – the orchard tables, the benches by the front of the school, the library, all of the classrooms… _Where are they?_

Changbin stops at the last classroom he hasn’t checked. Sure enough, he sees Felix sitting there. He tiptoes over to the other door and peeks.

Felix is sitting on one of the desks, and Coach Park is sitting on another one.

But Hyunjin’s there, too. _Why?_

Hyunjin turns and sees Changbin.

Changbin starts running down the hallway like his life depends on it. Or like he’s trying to outrun a flying baseball. That’s happened quite often.

“Hey.”

Changbin looks up from his homework. He’d stayed out in the orchard for the rest of the lunch break. “Hey Felix!”

Felix just puts his lunchbox on the table. He’s staring down at the table’s surface as he sits down.

“You guys did great a while ago,” Changbin says. “I mean, I’ve seen you guys do the routine so many times, and you’re always good but… Is something wrong?”

Felix seems to jolt awake. “What? Oh, yeah, no, I’m fine. Thanks, Cap.”

Changbin frowns. He looks down at his notebook and scrawls on it, but he’s not writing anything in particular. “I, uh, I heard Coach Park wanted to talk to you.”

“Oh, that.”

Changbin looks up from his notebook. “What did he want? I mean, if you don’t mind sharing it, I don’t actually need to kn-”

“No, it’s okay. It’s just uh… When you say that you like me,” Felix says slowly. “Do you mean you like me a _lot_?”

“Yes, Felix, of course.” Changbin frowns. “Why? What did Coach Park say?”

“But you don’t think I’m attractive?”

Changbin blinks at Felix. _What the hell is he saying? _

“I knew it.” Felix nods, a defeated smile crossing his lips.

“I _do_ think you’re attractive, Felix,” Changbin says. “I think- I think about you _all the damn time_.”

“But you don’t ever want to…” Felix shrugs. “You know, _do_ anything about it?”

Changbin stares at him. “What the hell did Hyunjin say?”

Felix’s eyes are wide. “N- Nothing, he-”

“What did he say to you? I’m going to beat the shit out of-”

“Sit down, Cap.” Felix says sternly.

Changbin sinks into his seat, face flushed. “Sorry.”

“He and Coach Park were just worried about me.” Felix says. “Because of you.”

Changbin snaps the tip of his mechanical pencil. He looks up at Felix, who, he only noticed now, is sitting nearly clear across the table. “I’d never-”

“You’d never do any of that stuff with me, I know.” Felix says. “I told them that. They seemed pretty relieved.”

Changbin shuts his eyes. The temptation to throw something is very high, but he takes a deep breath. He doesn’t want to accidentally smash the vice principal’s window and end up shipped back to Uncle Minki or anything like that.

“You’re so attractive it’s _crazy_, Felix,” Changbin says, his eyes still shut. “Like when you dance? I… It makes my head hurt thinking about how hot you are.”

“Then why won’t you, I don’t know,” Felix grumbles. “…Kiss me or anything?”

“Because I love you, Felix.” Changbin buries his face in his hands. “I don’t love Hyunjin like this, so it didn’t matter- I know it sounds so bad, but I didn’t really care so much about what I did with Hyunjin, it was just nice, but- But I’m always so scared of messing everything up with you-”

“How is kissing me going to mess everything up?”

“Because... I’m not after just your, uh, your body?” Changbin realizes how stupid he sounds. “And what if you don’t like me anymore if I’m uh… if I’m not good at kissing?”

Changbin’s surprised to hear Felix laughing. He peeks one eye open, frowning.

Felix takes a bite out of his sandwich, still grinning. “I can’t _believe_ I like you.”

“I don’t know why you do.” Changbin says. “I still don’t get it.”

“Your logical reasoning needs work,” Felix says. “But I’m sure you’re not _that_ bad at kissing.”

Changbin blinks at him. “How would you know?”

“Hyunjin still blushes when he mentions it.” Felix snickers. “Blushes like _crazy_.”

“Oh.”

“Still, I’d like to know for myself,” Felix picks up his sandwich again. “If you’re good at kissing.”

“Felix-”

“When _you’re_ ready, of course.” Felix pats Changbin on the top of his head. “I don’t want to rush you. You might think I’m just after your body.”

“I hate you.” Changbin slumps forward, burying his warm face in his notebook in shame while Felix laughs at him.

_The next morning_

“Excellent job yesterday, Felix.” Vice Principal Bae says, after pulling Felix out of his class. He’s starting to get used to being called to her office. _Which is probably a bad thing. Ish._

“Thanks, Vice Principal.” Felix’s cheeks redden.

“It’s too bad we didn’t get a video of your performance, it would’ve been good marketing for the school. Do you have one?”

“N- No, sorry.” Felix says. “I can ask my friends if any of them have any.”

“Please do, thanks.” The vice principal pulls her phone out of her purse and opens something. “They’re willing to sponsor the dance club to enter a couple of competitions. There’s one in ah, Daegu next month, you think you can pull that off?”

“Next month?” Felix frowns.

“It’s open to any high school dance crew. They didn’t specify what kind of dancing, so I guess you’re free to have your tap solo,” The vice principal beams. “We’ll have to have training over the summer, then more competitions next year-”

“Next _year_?”

“Yes, Felix, didn’t we talk about this?” the vice principal says. “It’s a long con. Though it’s hardly a con with how good you and the girls are.”

“They’re very talented,” Felix says. Then he shakes his head. “I don’t know if I can do this into next year, Vice Principal-”

“Why not?”

“I already have the baseball team. I mean, the season’s over now, so I can do whatever,” Felix says. “But we’ll try again next season, and-”

“I’ve been to some of your baseball games, Felix. I just want you to consider,” The vice principal says. “Why do something you’re _good_ at when you can do something you are _brilliant_ at?”

Felix purses his lips.

“I can’t let the team down.” Felix says. “We’re a team.”


	49. Bad Felix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s pretty fucking insane of her to even _suggest_ we join a competition next month!” Felix groans, poking at his lunch with his spoon. He looks over at Changbin, who’s staring at the nearby parking lot in complete silence, as he has been for the past half hour.

Felix sighs. _It’s another one of those days. _Changbin has these days where he’s like a window with the curtains drawn shut. _Blackout curtains, it looks like_, Felix thinks as he watches Changbin.

He likes it better when Changbin has the curtains open. _There was a time when there were no curtains at all._

_But he’s still Changbin._

Felix reaches over and taps Changbin on the arm. “You okay?”

Changbin blinks at him. “Y- Yeah. Sorry, Felix, what were you saying?”

“Nothing, I was just whining about things.” Felix waves a hand dismissively. He goes back to poking at his lunch, seeing that Changbin has barely touched his own. “Is the canteen food bad today?”

“It’s okay.”

Felix doesn’t know how else to say it, so he just gives up and asks, “Is something going on?”

“Oh.” Changbin breaks into a half-smile. “Is it that obvious? Sorry.”

Felix frowns at him. “You don’t have to apologize for feeling bad.”

“I know, I just don’t wanna be the guy who makes everyone feel bad just because I’m feeling bad,” Changbin starts picking up individual grains of rice from his lunch and putting them back, like he’s building a little igloo of rice. “You don’t have to stick around-”

“Shut the fuck up.” Felix says, surprising himself.

Changbin also jumps in his seat, surprised.

Then he laughs.

“Sorry.” Felix says, his entire face reddening. “Sometimes _Bad Felix_ jumps out.”

“Is that what you call him?” Changbin’s eyes are pinched in amusement. “_Bad Felix_?”

“It’s kinda like, you know when in _Lilo & Stitch_, Lilo was drawing like, Stitch’s badness level and she was like, you’re _here_… Why are you looking at me like that?” Felix sighs. “You have no idea what I’m talking about, do you?”

“No.” Changbin says, covering his mouth with one hand in a bad attempt to hide how hard he’s laughing. “Is that a movie?”

Felix lets out an indignant gasp. “We have to fix this.”

“We have training later.” Changbin says. “And I’ve got an Economics exam tomorrow, so I can’t-”

“It doesn’t have to be today!” Felix says.

Half of Changbin’s mouth curls up into a smirk. “But I kind of want it to be.”

“No!” Felix puts his arms in a big X. “If you’ve got an exam, you’re going to stay at your own damn house and study the fuck over there!”

Changbin takes a bite of his lunch, to Felix’s relief. “I can’t tell if that was Bad Felix or Good Felix.”

“Cap, I’m serious.” Felix says. “You’ve only got a couple months left in school and you’re still catching up to the two weeks-”

“I’m serious, too.” Changbin says. “I don’t want to go home.”

Felix frowns at him.

“See? There I go again, making everything suck,” Changbin mutters, looking down at his food as he takes another bite. “Sor-”

“What’s going on at home?” Felix has slide down the picnic table’s bench, lowering his voice like he’s worried the birds up in the tree will hear him. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

_I guess it’s not just curtains, the whole fucking window is boarded up today._

“Okay.” Felix says.

“Sorry.” Changbin says, for what feels like the tenth time in the past five minutes.

“It’s okay,” Felix stretches his arms over his head as he tries to surreptitiously slide back away. “I’m not the police, I’m not gonna force you to tell me everything if you don’t want-”

Changbin catches him by the bottom of his sweater. “No. Come back here.”

Felix sidles up next to him without taking another breath.

Changbin rests his head on Felix’s shoulder, hugging one of Felix’s arms. “I’m sor-” He stops himself. “I mean, thanks for being here, Felix.”

Felix tucks his nose into Changbin’s hair. “You can study at my place if you want.”

Changbin tilts his face up at Felix, a shy little smile crossing his lips. “Thank you.”

Felix feels like he’s going to pass out just looking at Changbin like this. He turns away. “Sure thing.”

“Everyone! Can you all come here for a minute?” Coach Wang calls out a few minutes into training.

Changbin catches the ball from Jisung, whose aim is getting so accurate that Changbin hasn’t moved an inch since they started throw and catch drills. He frowns as he joins the others slowly lumbering over.

Coach Park blows his whistle. “Come on, guys, you’re athletes, look alive!”

“Sorry, Coach.” Chan says.

“It’s okay, I get that we’re all feeling down from the game last Sunday,” Coach Wang says. He sighs, crossing his arms. “I, uh, wasn’t able to say this then, because everyone left suddenly after the game, but I just wanted to say: I thought we would make it to the finals this year. Not because you made it last year, but because you’re all a lot better this year, from what Jinyoung tells me.”

Changbin lifts an eyebrow. _It’ll never not be weird to get compliments from Coach Wang._

“Of course we’re not going to quit, we’re going to give it our best shot next year – and we really do have a shot, I think so,” Coach Wang tips on his heels uneasily. “But uh, just the same, I wanted to thank everyone for the work you put into the team this season. I’m sorry it didn’t get us where we wanted to go, especially for the seniors – Chan, Sunwoo, and of course, our captain, Changbin.”

Changbin frowns when the coach gives him an apologetic smile.

“We’ll still be here next year, Coach.” Chan says, pumping a fist purposefully in the air. “Full support!”

“Uh,” Changbin turns his frown to his friend. “No, we won’t. _You_ won’t. Right?”

Coach Wang shoots a worried look in Chan’s direction. “You _are_ going to college next year, right?”

“Wha- Oh- Of course, Coach!” Chan laughs, lowers his fist as his face gets very, very pink. “I’m going to Coach Park’s university.”

“You make it sound like he owns it.” Hyunjin snorts.

Coach Park flicks Hyunjin on the arm, sending the latter crumpling dramatically to the ground.

“Anyway,” Coach Wang claps his hands together, relief clear on his face. “I know there’s a lot of temptation to kind of ease up and relax a little since our season’s over, but I want everyone in the team giving it their all, as if we’ve got a game every weekend. We have a long way to go in terms of discipline, but I think we can get there.”

He looks at the boys nervously, like he’s ready to turn and run if one of them says anything.

Changbin clears his throat, enjoying the look on Coach Wang’s face a little too much. “Weevils on three?”

Coach Wang’s shoulders collapse in relief. “Yeah. Yes. Weevils on three. Take it away, Captain.”

Changbin stretches his hand into the middle of the circle.

“One!”

The other boys’ hands shoot in, slapping on top of each other gracelessly like fish tossed onto a boat.

“Two!”

Changbin waits. He stops to give Hyunjin, Jisung, and Hyunjoon pointed looks like, _Don’t you dare mess this up. _

“Three!”

“WEEEEEEEEEEEVILS!”

Changbin smiles as the rest of boys start barking and howling, much to their coaches’ discomfort. _I’m going to miss these animals._

He looks over at Felix.

Felix isn’t smiling.

_What’s wrong?_

“Papa! Changbin’s staying over, if that’s okay!” Is the first thing Matt hears after someone opens the door to their apartment.

He picks up the remote and pauses the movie he’s watching. “What?”

“It’s not like he can actually stop it at this point,” Jae laughs, leaning over the couch to peck Matt on the cheek. “Right?”

“Why would I? Hi, Changbin.” Matt twists on the couch to grin at the kid. “I just started the movie, you wanna watch?”

“No.” Felix forms his arms into a big X shape over his head. “He has an exam tomorrow. He’s going to study.”

“Jeez,” Matt laughs. “You’re probably stricter than Changbin’s parents, Felix.”

His smile fades when he sees the look on Changbin’s face.

“We’ll be in my room. Don’t bother us, please.” Felix says, steering Changbin by the shoulders into his room.

Matt sits up. “When do you want to have dinn-”

Felix slams the door.

Jae dumps his bag onto the floor, with a worrying metallic thump that’s probably his laptop. He punches Matt in the arm.

It doesn’t hurt – actually Jae is probably hurt more than Matt is, but Matt frowns and rubs the spot anyway. “What’s up?”

“Don’t bring up Changbin’s _p-words_, you idiot.” Jae flops onto the couch next to him.

“Why not?” Matt frowns. “What’s-”

“I don’t know what exactly, but he always makes this face when I say the _p-word_.” Jae says. “Like, the _ugh stop talking about this sensitive topic_ kind of face.”

Matt nods. “Okay, but can you stop calling parents a ‘p-word’? It doesn’t sound nice.”

“Why?”

“It sounds like you’re talking about uh,” Matt makes a face. “_Penis_.”

Jae rolls his eyes. “That’s just your tiny gay brain-”

“You’re gay, too!”

“Yeah, but I actually pay attention to context clues.”

“Bitch.” Matt laughs, punching Jae on the arm. His husband rolls over in what he assumes is mock pain. Then he gets concerned when Jae keeps rolling around. “Hey, are you okay?”

“This is what I get.” Jae moans, flopping the arm Matt had punched like it’s paralyzed. “This is what I get for marrying a fucking meathead.”

“Heh.” Matt grins. “_Meat_head.”

“Stop it! There are kids in the next room!” Jae slaps him on the arm, but he keeps laughing.

Felix pauses the game he’s playing to look up at Changbin.

Changbin’s hair is damp from his shower and falling over his eyes as he frowns down at his Economics book. He looks like he’s studying, but Felix has been watching him out of the corner of his eye for an hour now (which is the _only_ reason why Felix has been losing to Jeongin for all of that time). Changbin hasn’t turned the page once.

Felix sends Jeongin a quick message: _g2g bye __✌_

He puts his phone down and goes back to watching Changbin. Felix doesn’t know how he can just sit there when there’s a whole other person staring at him, but he must be _that_ lost in his thoughts.

“Hey, Changbin.”

Changbin turns the page as if out of reflex. “I’m not done, sorry.”

“Do you want to take a break?”

Changbin stops looking at the book and actually turns to Felix. “What kind of break?”

“Like, I dunno,” Felix shrugs. He picks up his phone again. “You wanna shoot Yang Jeongin a little bit?”

“No, thanks, I don’t want to shoot Yang Jeongin.” Changbin’s mouth curls almost into a smile. “He’s never done anything to me.”

“Well, uh,” Felix shrugs harder. “We could go watch a little bit of what my parents are watching-”

“Sorry, Felix, but I have to study.”

Felix is tempted to say, _Oh come on, I know you’re not studying_. But that would only make Changbin more upset.

“You can go join them.” Changbin says, looking back down at his book.

“Okay.” Felix stands up and walks to the door. Then he changes his mind and walks over to the desk. He gives Changbin a quick hug from behind. “Good luck studying.”

“I’m sorry for ignoring you-” Changbin says, before shaking his head. “I mean, thanks for being patient with me.”

“Of course.” Felix says. “That’s me. _Super_ patient. The very picture of patience. A paragon of patience.”

Changbin tilts his head up to smile at Felix. “I think Bad Felix is coming out again.”

“That’s my secret, Cap.” Felix winks. “I’m always Bad Felix.”

Changbin laughs, pretending to shoo Felix with one hand. “Go, I’ll just finish studying then I’ll catch up with you guys.”

“Okay.” Felix turns to the door.

“I love you, Felix.”

Felix nearly wrenches the doorknob off. He looks back at Changbin. _Are you fucking serious? You can’t just fucking do that all of a fucking sudden-_

Changbin lifts his eyebrows expectantly.

“I- I love you, too.” Felix says. Then he opens the door and runs out like the room’s on fire.

“Felix?”

Felix drops his phone onto the floor. He’d thought Changbin had fallen asleep hours ago. “Y- Yeah?”

“Did I wake you up?” Changbin’s voice carries from the bed, which Felix had just barely managed to force him to take earlier.

Felix rolls over to slide his phone guiltily under the cot. “Nope, I was still awake, what’s up?”

Changbin doesn’t reply.

Felix sits up, squinting at Changbin’s form in the really faint light from his glow-in-the-dark stuff. _Is he asleep?_

Changbin rolls over to face him. In a voice smaller than a whisper, he says, “My mom moved out this morning.”

“Oh.” Felix shoulders sag.

“I know you hate her,” Changbin adds quietly. “But she’s still my mom.”

“Yeah, of course.” Felix says. He hesitates for a second, not knowing whether he should leave the cot to hug Changbin or something, or if that’d be inappropriate.

Changbin scoots over in the bed, patting the empty space beside him.

Felix tiptoes over and sits on top of the covers, a respectful distance away.

Changbin shakes his head and pulls back the blanket, patting the space beside him again. “Is it okay?”

“Yes.” Felix slips under the blanket next to Changbin. He rests his head at the very edge of the pillow, facing Changbin. “I’m sorry about your mom leaving.”

Changbin takes a shuddering breath.

Felix reaches out and takes one of Changbin’s hands, folding his own much colder hands around it. “You’re going to be okay.”

“I know,” Changbin says. “Actually, I don’t know. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me anymore.”

Felix tucks Changbin’s hand under his cheek, resting his face against it to breathe a gentle kiss into Changbin’s palm. “You have a university already. And you and your dad are going to move to a smaller place, but it’ll be ok-”

“Felix.”

“Yeah, I’ll stop.” Felix gives Changbin his hand back self-consciously.

“No, it’s not that,” Changbin reaches out to hold the side of Felix’s face, tracing the edge of his cheek with one thumb. “You’ve been really good to me. And your dads, too. But I can’t help feeling…”

Felix frowns. “You still want your own parents?”

“No, I’m… I guess the word is jealous.”

Felix takes Changbin’s hand off his face and squeezes it. “I know I’m lucky, but things will work out for you, too.”

“It’s not the same.” Changbin says. “I know you had a really hard time when you were waiting for them, and you didn’t know if anyone would ever… But I don’t have that.”

“What do you mean?”

“You were waiting for people you didn’t know yet, which is bad enough, but,” Changbin says. “I’m waiting for my mom and dad to change when I know they won’t.”

Felix chest hurts. “Changbin-”

“I know it sounds really ungrateful of me, that you’re already right here in front of me but I keep wanting my parents to just… be my parents again.” Changbin sniffles. “And I know I’m going to be an adult in a few months, but I just don’t want to be on my own yet. It’s really lame of me, I know.”

“I’m not going to leave you on your own.” Felix says. “I’ll be your family.”

“That’s a lot to ask of someone.”

“I know.”

Changbin looks at Felix for a long time. Felix can’t see him well, but he feels Changbin’s breath on his face, and it’s so unsure and shaky that Felix wants to wrap Changbin up in his arms and never let go.

“We’re only in high school, Felix.” Changbin turns onto his back, looking up at the ceiling as he sniffles. “I don’t want to sound pessimistic, but we’re probably not going to work out.”

“We’re not even officially together yet and you’re already talking about-”

“I’m just being realistic, Felix.” Changbin says. “I’m going to college next year, and you’re… we’re not going to be together for very long.”

Felix is thinking about his phone, hidden under the cot on the floor. “I’m not going to- I mean, even if we’re not dating anymore or whatever, I’ll still support you, Changbin. I’ll be whatever you need.”

Changbin sighs. “Thank you, but I don’t think you should promise something like that, Felix.”

_What’s he thinking about? Does he know? _Felix looks back at his cot. There’s no way Changbin could read what he was browsing through from this angle.

“You should probably go back to bed, since there’s school tomorrow and all.” Changbin wipes his eyes dry on the collar of his shirt. Felix’s shirt, actually. “Sorry for keeping you up with all my bullsh-”

“Changbin-”

“I mean thanks for staying up with me.” Changbin says with a little chuckle. “Good night, Felix.”

Felix lets out a defeated sigh. “Good night, Changbin.”

He climbs out from under the blanket and crawls back to the cot. He waits for Changbin to roll over and face the wall before he pulls his phone out from under the cot.

_Seoul Performing Arts High School Admissions: How to Apply, _the page on his phone reads.

Felix looks back at Changbin’s silhouette, his shoulders rising and falling gently as he takes sniffly, stuttering breaths.

_Earlier that evening _

Changbin heaves a sigh as he finishes the last of the problems he’d been solving for practice. He doesn’t care about the GDP. Or the GNP. Or any of them.

He flips to the answers at the back of the book, pleasantly surprised to see that he’d gotten all of them right but one. He goes back and tries it again.

Felix’s papa laughs loudly from outside, only to be shushed so violently by his husband and son that Changbin smiles.

He can kind of hear the movie, too, because Felix’s family’s sound system is just that bit _too_ surround sound. But he doesn’t mind it. Actually, he likes having the sounds of people talking and laughing while he studies. The silence at home isn’t comforting.

_Oh, stupid_. Changbin finds that he’d accidentally subtracted something that he should’ve added. He erases his work and fixes it.

Felix’s papa laughs again. His laugh reminds Changbin a little bit of his own dad.

_Or maybe I’m just projecting._

Changbin flips to the back of the book. He stops flipping when realizes he didn’t leave any food out for his dad. He can imagine it now, his dad coming home from a long day at the shop, only to find the apartment dark and empty.

_I hope he went to Teacher Ahn’s for dinner._

Changbin checks his new answer. Then he closes the book with a sigh. He wants to hate his dad for not being able to take care of him, but it just doesn’t feel fair to him.

Felix’s papa laughs again.

“Jesus, Matt, _quiet_!” Felix’s dad hisses, loudly enough that Changbin hears it from inside the room.

Changbin opens the door quietly. Their apartment seems to be quite new, or at least well-maintained, because the door doesn’t whine as Changbin pushes it open. Felix and his family are sitting in the darkened living room, watching some American movie Changbin doesn’t recognize.

_Why am I creeping around like this? I’m not planning to fucking _rob_ them._

Changbin stops in doorway, feeling weirdly unwelcome.

“This guy’s a hack,” Felix’s papa waves a hand dismissively at the screen. “You’re much better, Felix.”

“Pops, that is _Channing Tatum_.” Felix sounds so indignant that Changbin smiles.

“I’m with your Pops on this one,” Felix’s dad says. “The man should’ve stuck to his _Step Up _thing.”

“_I_ think he did great,” Felix says.

“For someone who didn’t study tap _seriously_.” Felix’s papa says.

Felix laughs. “Papa, you make me sound like such a loser.”

“I don’t think being an expert at something makes you a loser.”

“I’m not an expert.” Felix says. “I haven’t gone to classes in like a year.”

Felix’s papa shifts in his seat as he reaches for the popcorn. “You can go back, you know.”

Felix shrugs. “I know.”

“Your dad told me about that school one of his students went to.” Felix’s papa says, completely ignoring the movie at this point as he digs around the unpopped kernels in the bowl for something edible.

“_Dad_.” Felix whines.

“Okay, I’m sorry for bringing in the Big Guns,” Felix’s dad says. “But I really think you should try it.”

“For the last time, Dad, _Pops_, I am _not_ going to even…” Felix shakes his head exasperatedly. “I don’t want it, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Hey, Changbin!” Felix’s papa cranes his neck to smile at Changbin in the dim light from the TV screen. “You done studying?”

Changbin nods. “Y- Yeah, thanks.”

“Come here!” Felix’s dad at him, pointing at the empty seat to Felix’s left.

Changbin walks around the back of the couch, lowering himself gingerly into the recliner. He’s sat here a couple of times before, but for some reason, he doesn’t feel right in it today.

He looks at Felix, who’s staring at the screen so intently it’s like he’s trying to memorize the movie.

Changbin reaches out and touches Felix gently on the arm. “This isn’t that _Lilo & Snitch _you were talking about, is it?”

Felix snorts. “No, it’s not. I think it’s called… Papa, what’s the title of this movie?”

“_Hail, Caesar_, I think.” Felix’s papa says, reaching for the remote. “Anyway, let’s just watch _Lilo & Stitch_ instead.”


	50. The Stupidest Dad Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and the award goes to....

_The next morning_

Felix yawns as he stuffs his lunchbox into his locker. _What’s my first class again? _

He doesn’t remember _any_ of his classes.

He yawns again.

“Hey, Felix!” A shadow falls over him.

Felix jumps, stumbling over from his squat in surprise. “H- Hey, Yeji.”

“Oh crap, are you okay?” Yeji laughs, extending both hands to help Felix up.

“Yeah, I just… didn’t get much sleep.”

“Oh, hard same.” Yeji pokes her eyebags. “Anyway, what’s our plan for the competition?”

Felix blinks at her. “The what?”

“The competition next month?” Yeji asks, widening her eyes. “Vice Principal Bae told me about it.”

_Damn that woman. _Felix shuts his eyes to try to mask his irritation. “I don’t know if we can join it. It’ll take a lot of practice-”

“The other girls and I are totally game,” Yeji says. “Actually, we’re kinda excited. I’ve never joined any kind of competition before.”

“Sorry, but I don’t think _I_ can juggle that much practice and my baseball training.” Felix says, hoping he doesn’t sound too rude about it. He doesn’t want to hurt Yeji’s feelings.

Yeji shrugs, completely unfazed. “But the season’s over, right? I mean, no offense, you guys did really well and-”

“We still have training off-season.” Felix says. “And there’s the season next year… I think I’m going to have to quit the club.”

Yeji swallows, leading into an awkward silence between them.

“You three can still go on,” Felix says. “You’re all really good-”

“But we don’t know how to choreograph,” Yeji says. “I mean, we could come up with _something_, but it’ll never be as good as what you can do.”

Felix sighs, leaning against the lockers. “I’m really sorry, Yeji, but I can’t do it.”

“I understand.” Yeji nods with a sympathetic smile. Then she brightens up and waves at someone behind Felix. “Hi!”

“Oh, hey, Yeji. Hi, Felix.”

Felix doesn’t turn around. “Hi, Changbin.” He says, his entire face warming up like the traitor that it is.

“Dance club meeting?” Changbin asks, opening his locker.

“Oh, no,” Yeji laughs nervously. “He’s uh, we’re, um…Eh…”

Changbin frowns, lifting one eyebrow at the girl.

“I’m quitting the club.” Felix explains to put Yeji out of her misery.

Changbin turns to him with a much deeper frown. “What? Why?”

“I can’t juggle that _and_ baseball.” Felix says flatly.

“But the season’s over anyway.” Changbin says, and Felix sees Yeji’s face light up out of the corner of his eye.

“You heard what Coach Wang said,” Felix says. “We have to give it our all even off-season-”

“Yeah, but that’s just not realistic.” Changbin says. “Baseball isn’t and shouldn’t be our _whole_ lives. It shouldn’t stop you from doing other things you love.”

Felix crosses his arms. “Don’t tell me you’re going to lie again-”

“I won’t. We’ll just tell Coach Wang you have another club, it’s not unheard of,” Changbin crosses _his_ arms. “And if he doesn’t understand then screw him-”

“Changbin, he’s right-”

“No, he isn’t-”

“Uh.” Yeji says, raising her hand awkwardly like she’s in class. “I’ve got to go, see you guys around.”

Felix sighs. “See you.”

“See you around.” Changbin says, but he’s still frowning at Felix.

“Psst.” Mina hisses, holding up the corner of her notebook.

Changbin glances across the aisle. She’s drawn a rough sketch of a tired-looking Teacher Park. He gives her one surreptitious thumb up.

Mina grins.

“…you’re all going to regret not listening to me,” Their math teacher groans. “When you go to college and you don’t remember what a cosine is-”

Someone knocks on the door.

One of Changbin’s classmates in the back jumps up, both arms raised in celebration. “Classes are cancelled!”

“No they’re not, sit down.” Teacher Park says irritably as he walks over to the door, only opening it a crack. “Hi, what do you need?”

“Is Seo Changbin there?”

Changbin looks up from the waiting shed he’d been drawing in his math notebook. _Why-_

“Yeah. Changbin,” Teacher Park hitches a thumb at the door. “Teacher Ahn wants to talk to you.”

The class lets out a low _‘Ooh, Changbin’s in trouble_’, but Chanhee claps his hands until they all shut up.

Changbin closes his notebook and steps out. “Hi Teacher Ahn, why-”

“Where the hell have you been?” The history teacher snaps at him the second the door closes.

Changbin frowns. “Wha-”

“Your dad’s been trying to call you since last night!” Teacher Ahn squeaks out. “He’s probably at the police now-”

“I was just at a friend’s place.”

“Why didn’t you f- _freaking_ text him!”

“My phone died and I left my charger at h-”

“I know he hasn’t been able to keep a close eye on you lately, but don’t give the man a harder time than he’s already having!” Teacher Ahn rubs her temples. “Forget your dad, _I_ honestly thought _I_ was going to have a fucking heart attack last night, Changbin.”

Changbin lowers his head. “Sorry, Teacher Ahn.”

“Call him now.” Teacher Ahn pulls her phone out of her pocket, dialing aggressively as she speaks. “I swear he’s probably fighting the entire police station- Here.”

Changbin takes the phone from her. His dad picks up on the third ring.

“Hello, Hyejin, I’m busy right-”

“Hi, Dad.”

“Changbin!” His dad lets out a relieved sound that’s a little bit like a horse’s whinny. “Thank god. Are you at school? Of course you are, why else would you be with Hyejin- What happened to you?”

“I was at a friend’s house.” Changbin says. “Sorry I didn’t call.”

“It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Changbin scuffs a sneaker against the tiles. “I’m sorry, Dad.”

“It’s okay, really, it’s okay.” Changbin’s dad says. “I’ll see you at home, okay?”

“Yes, Dad.”

“Okay. Have a nice day at school, Changbin.”

“Thanks. You too.” Changbin frowns. “I mean, have a nice day at work. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Changbin holds the phone out to the history teacher, who only rolls her eyes.

“And he isn’t even mad.” Teacher Ahn grumbles, pocketing her phone again. “That _fool_.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you.” Changbin says. “I won’t do it again.”

“You’d better not.” Teacher Ahn sighs. “Now go back to cl- Actually wait a second, I’m not done.”

Changbin freezes on his way to the door and turns back to the history teacher. “Yes, ma’am?”

“I know your dad’s not the best…” Teacher Ahn sighs. “No, honestly, your dad’s kind of shit at everything, but he’s a good guy and he’s trying really hard.”

Changbin nods. “I know that, Teacher Ahn.”

“But it’s really tough on you, too, isn’t it?” Teacher Ahn says. “If you need anything, you come right to me, okay?”

Changbin nods, but much more slowly. “Thank you, Teacher Ahn.”

The teacher smiles at him. “Now go back to class before Jinyoung- Teacher Park pops an artery.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Hey.” Felix stops next to the picnic table. “Can I sit here?”

Changbin looks up from his lunch. “Of course. I was saving the table for us.”

“You’re not still mad at me?”

“I was never mad at you.” Changbin says. “You know what I’m like when I’m mad.”

“Right.” Felix sighs and sits down next to Changbin. “You really think I can do both the dance club and baseball?”

“Of course.” Changbin says confidently. Then his smile wavers. “And if you can’t, then just do the dance club.”

Felix stops unpacking his lunch. “But the team needs me.”

“I don’t think you should let other people stop you from doing what you really love,” Changbin says. “Even people you care about.”

Felix frowns at him as he cracks his container of rice open. “You’re our fucking _captain_, shouldn’t you be… I’m trying to _imagine_ what you could possibly get out of me quitting the team, but I just can’t.”

“It’s not you quitting the team that I want,” Changbin says. Then his mouth curls into a smirk he can’t hide. “But I would much rather watch you dance.”

Felix rolls his eyes. “Oh. I see.”

“No, it’s not like that!” Changbin says, shaking Felix’s arm. “I like it when you’re happy. And you’re happy when you dance. I want you to dance.”

“Your sentences are reaching toddler-level complexity, my dude.” Felix laughs, shrugging Changbin’s hands off.

“My brain is getting fried just thinking about you dancing.”

“Stop it!” Felix pushes Changbin to the end of the bench. “You’re so fucking extra, I can’t-”

Changbin laughs so hard he falls over on the bench, and Felix pretends to grumble as he helps him up.

Then they realize that there are two people standing next to the table.

“Oh.” Felix tries to comb his hair back into place. “Hi. Hello. Sorry.”

Chaeryeong just keeps frowning at him.

“I can’t believe you’re going to fucking quit on us!” Ryujin kicks the picnic table before cursing and holding her foot in agony.

“He’s not going to.” Changbin says.

Felix glares at him. “Seo Changbin I swear-”

“Why? Am I wrong?” Changbin blinks at Felix with the fakest innocent eyes.

“Is he?” Chaeryeong asks, with much larger, genuinely concerned eyes.

Felix rolls his own eyes. He sighs. “I’m not quitting the club. Let’s have a meeting this Friday to talk about the competition next month.”

Chaeryeong grins like a kid in Disneyland for the first time. “Oh my gosh I love you.”

Ryujin just scowls. “Damn Yeji and her stupid rumors.”

“I’ll see you guys uh, Friday during lunch?” Felix says.

“Yeah.”

“See ya!”

Felix waves at the girls until they leave, then turns back to find Changbin with a goofy smile on his face.

‘I love you,’ Changbin mouths.

“Oh, shut up.” Felix stuffs a hand into his face, turning it away. But he’s smiling. “You’re so annoying.”

Changbin unlocks the apartment. He’d heard the TV from outside, since his dad had cracked the front window open. “Hey, Dad, I’m home.”

The noise from the TV stops, followed by the scuff of house slippers.

Changbin’s dad stops in front of him.

Changbin waits for him to say something.

His dad doesn’t.

Changbin sighs. “I’m sorry I didn’t text or call or anything. I won’t do it again.”

“Okay.” His dad nods. “I mean, uh, don’t ever- No, you just said that.”

Changbin pats his dad on the arm as he passes him. “I’m going to do some laundry, do you have anything that needs washing?”

“Uh, yeah, actually,” Changbin’s dad disappears into his room and comes out with an overflowing laundry basket. “I was gonna ask you about that yesterday, that’s how I noticed you weren’t in your room.”

Changbin stares at the laundry basket for a long, painful time. Then he looks up at his father for a much longer and even more painful time.

He doesn’t say anything. Anything he could possibly say at this point would probably degenerate into a fight, and Changbin doesn’t want to waste energy on that if he’s got an assload of laundry to do.

“Thanks, Changbin.” His dad says as Changbin lifts the basket.

“No problem.” Changbin mutters, though he hardly says the first word.

> Felix: Sooooo what are you doing?
> 
> Changbin: Laundry.
> 
> Felix: Oh… fun?
> 
> Changbin: No. Not fun. What are you doing?
> 
> Felix: Trying to pull choreography out of my ass for this goddamned competition
> 
> Felix: Wonder whose fault it is that I’m joining it in the first place
> 
> Changbin: ❤
> 
> Felix: Grrrrr
> 
> Felix: At least give me a song I can’t think of any
> 
> _Changbin is typing…_

“Felix! Dinner!”

Felix puts his phone down. “Okay, be there in a minute!”

He checks his phone one more time before leaving his room.

> Changbin: Heart Attack
> 
> Changbin: The one by Chuu from Loona

Felix chortles as he types a reply.

> Felix: Are you serious???
> 
> Changbin: Of course.
> 
> Changbin: Loona isn’t a joking matter.
> 
> Felix: Right. Sorry. Didn’t mean to disrespect them.
> 
> Changbin: Haha but is it okay?
> 
> Felix: It’s perfect
> 
> Felix: But I’ll still ask the others on Friday
> 
> Changbin: Okay ^-^

“Felix! Your soup’s getting cold!”

“Yeah! I’ll be right there!” Felix calls as he types out a reply.

> Felix: Brb dinner
> 
> Changbin: 👍
> 
> Felix: Luv u
> 
> Changbin: 👍
> 
> Changbin: Fuck I mean
> 
> Changbin: ❤
> 
> Changbin: Fucking keyboard.
> 
> Felix: I know you 👍 me anyway 😜
> 
> Changbin: Go eat dinner.

_Saturday morning_

Changbin wakes up because of some noise. He thinks it might be a bird tapping against his window – won’t be the first time it happened – but he looks out to find nothing there but the next building’s wall just an arm’s length away.

The knocking starts again. “Changbin?”

Changbin kicks the blanket off and sits up. “Yes, Dad?”

“Oh, you’re awake.” Changbin’s dad says.

Changbin climbs out of bed and starts folding up his blanket. “What’s up, Dad?”

“I was uh… I was thinking…”

Changbin’s folded and ironed everything out with his hands, but his dad still doesn’t reply.

Changbin sighs and opens the door, leaning on the doorframe. As expected, his dad’s still standing there with his face all red and frustrated. “What’s up, Dad?” Changbin asks again.

“Do you want to go out for pancakes? At Auntie Hyerin’s?”

Changbin frowns at his dad. “Is Auntie Hyerin’s restaurant even still open?”

“I…” His dad looks up at the ceiling like it’s got answers. “I think so?”

“Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to go out and check.”

It feels surreal to Changbin, sitting in the passenger’s seat of his dad’s old Nissan as it pulls up on the gravel driveway outside the low, wooden building that houses Auntie Hyerin’s restaurant. He hasn’t seen it in maybe six or seven years, despite it being just a couple of minutes away from their apartment, and he’s a little bit disappointed to find that it looks exactly the same. It’s got the same too-bright blue paint job, same yellowish curtains with cartoon daisies, and same misaligned door that rattles the same, loud windchime as they open it.

The inside of the restaurant is a little bit cleaner than Changbin remembers it to be, but otherwise the same speckled plastic tables and oily, sugary smell floating through the air.

“Hey, the window table’s not taken yet.” Changbin’s dad says excitedly, nudging Changbin in the ribs.

Changbin follows him to the window table, which is really just like any of the other tables in the restaurant, except it’s got a nice view of the murky water of a stream next to the restaurant.

“Seo Dongho! How dare you show your face here again! You little _slug_!”

Changbin smiles as an angry-looking petite woman comes running out of the restaurant’s kitchen at breakneck speed, carrying a spatula with steam still coming off of it.

Changbin’s dad straightens up in his seat. “H- Hello, dear cousin-”

The woman smacks Changbin’s dad in the head with the butt end of her spatula. “I can’t believe you would just let that bitch Minju walk away with all the money!”

“H- Hyerin, please keep your opinions to yourself,” Changbin’s dad stammers out, pointing at Changbin. “My son is here.”

Changbin’s aunt lowers the spatula and stares at him. “Changbinnie?”

“Hi, Auntie.” Changbin figures a tiny wave is good enough.

“Oh my goodness, you’re so handsome,” Changbin’s aunt drops the spatula on the table and wraps him up in a big hug that smells a lot like vegetable oil. Changbin smiles. “How old are you now?”

“Seventeen.”

“Oh my! So you’re going to college soon?”

“Yes, Auntie.”

“Where?”

“H______ University.”

“Oh, great school. And nearby, too! What are you taking?”

Changbin keeps his face straight. “Business Management.”

“Oh, great, then you can help us out here,” His aunt laughs, giving him a little pinch on the arm. Then she looks at Changbin’s dad, who’s frowning at the menu on the wall like he can’t read it. “Or are you giving him the shop?”

“I’m uh,” Changbin’s dad does something like a shrug. “Can we have pancakes and coffee for the both of us, please?”

“Coming right up.” Changbin’s aunt rolls her eyes. She smiles at Changbin again, pinching his ear. “Such a handsome boy. Do you have a girlfriend?”

“Oh, no.” Changbin chuckles.

“That’s a shame.” His aunt says before heading off to the kitchen.

Changbin looks back at his dad, who’s now surveying the tributary out the window. Changbin’s been trying to understand him for the past half hour or so that they’ve been together, but he just doesn’t understand what would possess his dad to do this right now.

“We used to come here every weekend, remember?” Changbin’s dad says, watching a fish flip over near the surface of the stream.

“Yeah.” Changbin says. _Before Mom fought with Auntie Hyerin. _

“We even had your twelfth birthday here.” Changbin’s dad grins at him. “With the other two Musketeers.”

“Ugh, Dad.” Changbin snorts. “Don’t call them that.”

“You used to call yourselves that, not me,” Changbin’s dad laughs.

“It was Jisung’s idea.” Changbin says.

“Isn’t it always?” Changbin’s dad reaches for a newspaper in a nearby rack. “How’s that kid doing? I haven’t seen him around in a while.”

“He’s fine.” Changbin says. “And he lives with his aunt and uncle now in the west side.”

“Oh. What happened to his parents?”

“They’re working in Busan.”

“Oh.” Changbin’s dad doesn’t look up from the newspaper, but his face twists like he’d read something upsetting.

Changbin frowns. _I probably shouldn’t have said that. _

His aunt returns with two mismatched mugs of black coffee. “Do you need milk and sugar?”

“No thanks.” Changbin’s dad shakes his head, but looks up at Changbin.

Changbin grimaces. “Just sugar, please.”

“Of course.”

Changbin’s dad flips past the business sections of the newspaper, straight to the sports.

“Don’t you have to go to the shop today?” Changbin asks.

“Not until 10.” Changbin’s dad says.

“Oh. Okay.”

Changbin looks out the window himself, but there’s not much to see.

His aunt comes back with two plates stacked with greasy, eggy pancakes drowned in butter and syrup. “Here you go. Anything else? Bacon or sausage? Fish? Spam?”

Changbin’s dad looks at Changbin with both eyebrows raised.

Changbin knows what his dad likes, and he doesn’t know why his dad doesn’t just say it, so he says, “We’ll have some fried spam please, Auntie.”

“Okay.” His aunt disappears back into the kitchen.

Changbin’s dad folds up the newspaper and returns it to the rack. “The other Musketeer, how is he?”

“Bang Chan?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s also going to H_______ University.”

Changbin’s dad smiles. “Really can’t get enough of each other, huh?”

“He’s taking Education, though.”

“Still, it’s not a big campus. You’ll see each other around.” Changbin’s dad cuts a huge chunk of both of his pancakes and scoops it into his mouth. “Awe you shtill paying bashebaw?”

“Baseball?” Changbin shrugs. “Chan got scouted to play and he wants me and Jisung to join him. I mean, when Jisung goes to college, too.”

Changbin’s dad takes a gulp of coffee as he swallows his food. “That’s nice.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Changbin takes a bite of his pancake. It’s just as eggy and oily as he remembers it to be, more omelet than anything else. But the syrup seems to have little strawberry bits in it, which he likes.

“I, uh…” Changbin’s dad trails off, slicing absently through his pancake stack. “Wanted to show you the boarding house we’re moving into.”

Changbin frowns. “Why?”

“Just so you can uh, see it?”

Changbin drags another bite of pancake through the syrup.

He doesn’t see what it would do, since he doesn’t have a say in it anyway. But he says, “Okay” because his dad’s looking at him so desperately that Changbin feels bad.

“The old auntie who owns the house started taking in boarders when her husband died,” Changbin’s dad explains, locking the car once he and Changbin step out. “I- Well, _we_’d be on the third floor. It’s a bit of a climb, but it’s good cardio, right?”

Changbin squints up at the morning sun peeking over the tall, narrow house’s roof. It’s like an ordinary house has been pushed in at the sides and pulled out at the top, like taffy. He feels like a strong wind could knock it over.

_But it’s pretty much next to Dad’s shop. _Changbin says, following his dad through a side entrance to the auto mechanic shop. _And it’s just one bus stop away from the university instead of three._

Changbin takes a deep breath of the gasoline-y, greasy office of the shop. The office’s one window air-conditioning unit is facing the workshop, so whatever it smells like out there seeps right in.

Changbin scrunches his nose. He always hated staying with his dad at the shop, and nothing’s changed there.

“We’ll just be in and out,” Changbin’s dad explains as he unlocks one of the drawers in his desk. “Just gotta turn over a car.”

Changbin’s dad pulls out a set of keys with the Mercedes Benz logo on it.

Changbin frowns.

His dad pulls the door open. “Oh, come in, Professor! You can sit down while I get the car.”

Felix’s dad stops in the doorway, rain dripping off his glasses and jacket. “No thanks, we’ll just stay out here.”

_“We’ll”?_

“It’s fine, it’s a mess in there anyway,” Changbin’s dad chuckles. “The couch is covered in plastic, too, so there’s no problem.”

“Oh, okay.” Felix’s dad laughs. “Come on, Felix.”

Changbin stands up and presses himself against the far wall when Felix comes into the office.

Felix just stares at him with his eyes wide. He’s also drenched in rain, like his dad, but he’s just got a thin sweater on.

Changbin sheds his jacket and holds it out.

Felix shakes his head nervously, pushing the jacket back to Changbin before his dad can notice.

“So Changbin,” Felix’s dad says. “Do you come with your dad to work often or is it just for today?”

Changbin nods robotically. He doesn’t know why he’s sweating, but he’s sweating.

“Felix, sit down, it’s fine.” Felix’s dad pats the plastic-covered seat next to him.

“O- Okay.” Felix sits down slowly, the couch letting out an unsavory squeak as he does.

Changbin’s dad comes back in, twirling the keys around one finger. “She’s all good to go, Professor Park. Though you might want to dry off before sitting on the leather. What happened to you guys anyway?”

“Eh, we kinda walked here from the car rental,” Felix’s dad says. “But it started raining and we didn’t have an umbrella and-”

Felix sneezes, a tiny sneeze like a kitten.

“-Oh, bless you, Felix.” Felix’s dad says.

“Thanks.” Felix rubs his nose on his wet sleeve.

“We’ve got a bathroom back here where you can dry off,” Changbin’s dad says. “And we’ve got some towels in the cabinet, go get them, Changbin.”

“Yeah.” Changbin’s already going through the cabinet to pull out a two of the dusty towels inside. He smacks them onto his knee to shake off some of the dust.

Felix sneezes again.

“Sorry.” Changbin says.

Felix gives him a wobbly smile. Then he sneezes again.

“The bathroom’s back here, Professor,” Changbin’s dad opens the door at the far end of the office. “Sorry, but we don’t have anything aside from that hand dryer, I guess if you stand under it long enough it’ll be like any other dryer.”

Changbin shuts his eyes. _Sometimes, Dad just sounds so… dumb._

Felix’s dad keeps thanking them, his ears turning red in embarrassment as he ushers Felix into the shop’s tiny bathroom.

“Don’t you have extra shirts around here?” Changbin asks, digging through the cabinet some more.

“Yeah, but I don’t want to give them to Professor Park.”

Changbin turns to his dad slowly, feeling his blood start to boil. “Why _not_?”

“Because…” Changbin’s dad casts one wary look at the closed bathroom door. He leans in and lowers his voice to say, “He’s a _rich_ guy, Changbin. He might get offended if we try to give him stuff.”

_Maybe my dad’s just a dumbass._

Changbin shakes his head. “He’s a normal guy, Dad. Where are the t-shirts?”

“In the bottom drawer.”

Changbin and his dad stand by the front gate of the shop, waving as Felix and his dad drive off in the newly-repaired white Benz. It feels weird for Changbin to have spent a half hour with Felix without saying a single word to him.

He turns to his dad, who’s leaning against the gate. It’s still raining out, and the wind’s blowing some rain at them, but his dad doesn’t seem to care.

“Anyone would’ve been able to guess that it was gonna rain today.” Changbin’s dad chuckles. “For such a smart guy, Professor Park really… has his moments.”

Changbin frowns at him. _Speak for yourself, Dad._

“He reminds me of your Uncle Minki.”

Changbin makes a face. “No, he doesn’t. They’re both just gay.”

“N- No, I didn’t mean it like that,” Changbin’s dad’s entire face goes red. “They’re both uh, very…”

“Gay.”

“Do not put words in my mouth, Seo Changbin, I know for a fact that not all gay men are the same.” Changbin’s dad ruffles his hair in exasperation.

Changbin laughs, patting his dad on the back. “Let’s go back inside.”

“Yeah.” Changbin’s dad stretches his arms over his head, cracking his back. “All I’ve got to eat here is coffee, though.”

“You don’t eat coffee.” Changbin says. “Also, we just had breakfast.”

“Right.” Changbin’s dad laughs self-consciously. “Can’t get anything past you, huh?”

“Nope.” Changbin holds the door to the office open for his dad. “But that’s why you want me to take over the business, right?”

Changbin’s dad stops in the doorway. “About that.”

Changbin frowns at him. “What about it?”

“You can still take a different program, right?”

Changbin’s frown grows deeper. “What?”

“You’re in the university, but you can still take uh,” Changbin’s dad scratches his head. “Engineering, if you wanted to, right?”

Changbin doesn’t know what to think, so he just stops thinking altogether.

“I was uh, talking to Hyejin, and… uh…”

_Ah. _Changbin sighs as he wipes the couch before sitting down. “Did Teacher Ahn tell you to hang out with me today?”

Changbin’s dad gives him a sheepish smile. “Maybe.”

“I like her a lot,” Changbin says. “But she’s kind of a bully.”

“_Kind of_? She’s a complete bully. A textbook bully.” Changbin’s dad slumps onto the couch next to him. “But she’s right.”

Changbin turns to his dad with one eyebrow raised.

“I’m, uh, I’m sorry for forcing you to take business in college.” Changbin’s dad scrunches up his face like it’s physically hurting him to say it. “I should’ve have done it.”

Changbin stares at him. He knew Teacher Ahn was pushy, but he didn’t think she’d be _this_ effective. _Teacher Ahn for President._

“I just- Let me explain myself, can I explain myself?” Changbin’s dad turns to him with that scrunched-up, pained expression.

“Sure.”

“I wanted things to be sure for you.” Changbin’s dad says. “It’s really hard when things aren’t _sure_. You work so hard for something and it all just gets thrown away… But that’s not my point. Uh… your mom was right.”

“You don’t have to say that.”

“But she was.” Changbin’s dad sighs. “I- We both just didn’t want you to end up like me.”

Changbin reaches out and pats his dad on the arm. He doesn’t say anything, because he doesn’t want to lie to his dad.

“The only thing I’m proud of is being your dad.” Changbin’s dad admits.

Changbin’s eyes are starting to hurt. Chopping onions sort of hurt.

“I want you to do whatever you want.” Changbin’s dad says. “Because I think you’re smart enough to know what’s good for you.”

Changbin tilts his head up so his tears don’t roll down his face. “So I can take Civil Engineering?”

“Of course.” Changbin’s dad says. “Whatever you want. Your mom and I will support you.”

Changbin tries to take a deep breath, but his chest shudders.

“I’m sorry your mom and I couldn’t make it work out. We really tried, for you.” Changbin’s dad says. “We wanted you to have a normal family, like all the other kids.”

Changbin wipes his eyes on the collar of his shirt. “There’s no such thing.”

“What?”

“There’s no such thing as a _normal_ family, Dad.” Changbin says. “All families kinda suck in their own way. Maybe that’s normal.”

Changbin’s dad chuckles. “Maybe.”

Changbin dries his eyes again. “Hey, dad?”

“Yeah?”

_What are you doing, Changbin? Don’t do it. _

“I need to tell you something.” Changbin says anyway.

_Stop! Now!_

“What is it?”

“I…” Changbin thinks about it. “I- I don’t have a girlfriend.”

Changbin’s dad nods slowly. “I know, you just told your aunt-”

“But I’m kind of seeing someone.”

“Kind of?” Changbin’s dad frowns.

“I just thought you should know. I like them a lot.” Changbin shakes his head. “No, I’m in love with them.”

Changbin’s dad leans back against the couch, looking like someone had just punched him in the face. “I don’t know them, do I?”

“You do.” Changbin says. “It’s Professor Park’s son. I’m in love with Felix.”

Changbin squeezes his eyes shut, waiting for the fallout. But his dad just makes a weird noise beside him, like he coughs and chokes on his spit at the same time.

“Dad?”

“I know, I heard you.” Changbin’s dad nods slowly, but he doesn’t look at Changbin. “Just let me process it, okay?”

“Okay.”

Changbin’s dad slides down on the couch until he’s shorter than Changbin.

Changbin frowns at him. “Are you okay?”

“Still processing.”

“Oh.” Changbin folds his hands in his lap. “Okay.”

Changbin’s dad shakes his head like he’s trying to get water out of his ears. “But you don’t _act_ like…”

“Not all gay guys are the same. Remember?”

“I know, I know.” Changbin’s dad buries his face in his hands. “Don’t get me wrong, Changbin, I’m just… I feel really stupid for not knowing.”

“I never told you.” Changbin frowns. “How would you know?”

“I’ve been with you every day since you were born, Changbin,” Changbin’s dad makes a face. “How could I not know something like that about my own son?”

“Maybe I was hiding it from you.”

“Or I’m just stupid. That’s probably it.” Changbin’s dad nods. “I’m just the stupidest dad ever.”

Changbin just pats his dad on the arm. Because he doesn’t want to lie to him.

> Felix: Dad and I are washing the shirts
> 
> Felix: Thanks again
> 
> Felix: I’ll give them back on Monday
> 
> Felix: Unless you wanna hang out tomorrow?
> 
> Changbin: I told my dad I was gay.
> 
> Felix: Wait what the fuck
> 
> Changbin: And that I’m in love with you.
> 
> Felix: WHAT THE FUCK
> 
> Felix: YO CHANGBIN
> 
> Felix: WHAT DID HE SAY
> 
> Felix: HEY I CAN SEE YOU’RE ONLINE ANSWE ME
> 
> Felix: WHAT HAPPEN

Changbin smiles at his phone, putting it down for a second while he takes the tonkatsu he’s cooking out of the pan. He tears off a paper towel for them to dry on. “Dad! We’re out of paper towels!”

“Oh. Okay. Should I get some more now or…?”

“You can buy some more tomorrow.”

“Ok. Great. Fine by me.” Changbin’s dad holds up two thumbs up, never once looking away from the TV.

“Dinner’s almost ready.” Changbin says.

“Okay, I’ll get the rice.” Changbin’s dad hops off the couch and heads into the kitchen. He opens the rice cooker. “Huh.”

Changbin turns the stove off. “Why?”

“There’s something wrong with the rice.”

Changbin walks over and frowns down at the translucent grains of rice sitting at the bottom of a pool of water. “Did you turn it on?”

“Yeah.”

Changbin looks around the back of the rice cooker. _Nothing seems to be burned or anything… _

_Oh._

Changbin holds up the end of the cord. “Dad. You forgot to plug it in.”

Changbin’s dad stares at the plug. “Shit.”

Changbin rolls his eyes. “It’s okay, we’ll just have a late dinner.”

“Felix?”

Changbin’s voice is so soft it tickles Felix’s ears. _Stupid high quality headphones. _Felix grimaces, curling up under his blanket as he whispers back, “Yeah, I’m still here. I’m just surprised your dad was so chill about it.”

“He’s just worried. Because my uncle got bullied a lot for being gay.”

“I’m sorry, Changbin, but your dad is worried about _you_ getting bullied? Was he not there when you were suspended for two weeks for breaking a guy’s fucking _rib_? No offense.”

“None taken.” Changbin snickers. Then he sighs. “I still feel so bad about that.”

“Don’t. Junhyun’s fine. He’s actually nice now. It’s like you knocked all the bullshit out of him.”

Changbin rolls onto his side, trying to stop himself from laughing and waking up his dad in the next room. “When is Good Felix coming back?”

“Good Felix is dead.” Felix scoffs. “Good riddance, he was a fucking loser.”

“Hey.” Changbin grins. “I fell in love with Good Felix, don’t say that about him.”

“God, _why_?”

“He was sweet.”

“Bad Felix can be sweet, too.”

“I don’t think so.”

“I heard he’s good in bed.”

“Lee Felix!” Changbin hisses.

Felix grins. He loves messing with Changbin like this. “I can’t believe I’m with a whole Seo Changbin and I don’t even get to make out with him a _little_-”

“Shhh stop it!”

“Quiet, Changbin, your dad’s gonna hear us.”

“We’re not doing anything wrong!” Changbin’s voice squeaks nervously.

Felix has to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing. He kicks a pillow off his bed. Changbin is the _cutest_.

“What was that?” Changbin asks.

“Nothing, just dropped something.” Felix says. “Anyway, it’s getting late, we should sleep.”

Changbin sighs. “It’s harder to sleep without you playing games while pretending to be asleep nearby.”

Felix frowns. “How did you know-”

“You were trashtalking Yang Jeongin under your breath.” Changbin snickers. “Did you think I wouldn’t hear?”

“Screw Yang Jeongin. He thinks he’s hot shit.”

“_I miss you Good Felix_,” Changbin hums to the tune of some song Felix doesn’t know.

“We’re seriously making me sound like I have a personality disorder.”

“_When is Good Felix coming back_,” Changbin sings.

Felix lays in his bed while Changbin goes on to sing a whole verse, replacing words with ‘Good Felix’ every now and then. “Are you done?”

“No, it’s a whole song, keep quiet.”

“You’re gonna wake up your dad.”

“Nothing wakes him up, not even the smoke detector.” Changbin says, before singing again.

Felix settles back against the pillows, smiling. He could listen to Changbin’s soft little singing voice all day.

“…Are you still there?” Changbin asks.

“Yeah.”

“I love you.”

“I- Wait a second,” Felix says. “Did you tell your dad I was your boyfriend?”

“No.”

“Why not? Am I not?” Felix sputters. “It’s not like you have another-”

“Fine, fine, I’ll tell him you’re my boyfriend tomorrow. Gosh.”

Felix grins, burrowing deeper under his duvet. “Good.”

“Okay, hold on a second, we’ve only been a thing for like, a week-”

“I hate to bring up Park Hyunjin, but I’m going to do it if you don’t stop being a dumb-dumb.”

“Please don’t bring up Park Hyunjin.”

“I won’t.” Felix says. “Because I’m a good boyfriend.”

Changbin laughs. “How can Bad Felix be a good boyfriend?”

“He’s good in bed.”

“Felix!”

Felix is laughing too hard to reply.

“Lee Felix, I swear I’m going to hang up if you don’t stop-”

Felix sucks on his cheeks to stop himself from laughing. “Okay, okay, sorry. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Changbin says. “And I think you’re right, I owe you a couple kisses.”

Felix’s breath catches in his throat.

“Felix? You still there?”

“C- Can I claim my kisses tomorrow?”

“What?”

“I will run to your house.”

“Felix-”

“I will _fly _to your house.”

“Okay, calm down, Felix, calm down.” Changbin laughs. “I can go to your place.”

“Oh. You deliver? Great.”

Changbin laughs really hard then, and only stops when there’s a creaking sound and a muffled voice. “I’m fine, Dad. Yeah.”

Felix sticks his phone’s mic to his mouth and yells, “HI MR. SEO!”

“Fuck’s sake, Felix!” There’s a sound like Changbin dropping the phone on the bed.

Felix listens to the clatters as Changbin scrambles to pick up his phone.

“No, Dad, it was nothing. Yeah. Good night.”

The door creaks shut again.

“Dammit, Felix.” Changbin hisses.

Felix smirks. “I love you.”


	51. Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt looks up from his cereal. “Felix?”

He looks at the clock on the wall, then back at his son, who’s currently putting on a jacket. At 8 in the morning.

_Is he _sick_?_

“You don’t have any more games, right?” Matt asks.

“Nope.” Felix grins at him before turning and yelling. “DAD! COME ON!”

Matt frowns as Jae lumbers out of their bedroom almost fully dressed. Neither Felix nor Jae get up before noon on Sundays, unless Felix has a game.

_So what… is going on?_

Jae drags his feet to the dining table, takes a long swig of Matt’s coffee, then shakes himself awake.

“Where are you going?” Matt asks, untucking a bit of Jae’s shirt that had gotten caught in his jeans.

“Felix has a date.” Jae yawns.

Matt frowns at Felix. “At _eight_ in the morning?”

“It was supposed to be earlier, but Dad wouldn’t have been awake yet.” Felix pecks Matt on the cheek. “I’ll be back later today, bye Papa!”

Jae bends over and kisses Matt before the latter can say anything. “Can you make me breakfast for when I get back?”

Matt’s still frowning, but he says, “Sure. Drive safe.”

Changbin shakes the omelette until it slides out onto the plate on the table.

He places the plastic food cover on top before going to wash the pan.

Changbin leaves a note on top of the plastic food cover.

> _Going out for a picnic. I have my phone with me if anything comes up. -Changbin_

Changbin grabs his backpack and a hoodie before leaving the apartment.

“Bye, Dad, see you later,” Felix kisses his dad on the cheek before running out of the car.

“Don’t run! There could be other…” Felix’s dad sighs and looks around the empty university parking lot. “Cars.”

Felix slows to an excited skip as he closes in on Changbin, who’s been sitting on a bench under some mossy trees. Felix lowkey wishes he’d thought of taking a photo before disturbing Changbin, but it’s too late.

Changbin looks up and smiles. “Hey.”

“Hi.” Felix stuffs his hands self-consciously into his pockets.

Changbin gets up. “Let’s go?”

“Oh.” Felix looks around. Behind Changbin is nothing but dense forest. “Where are we going? We’re not _hiking_, are we?”

“No.” Changbin laughs and holds out a hand to Felix. “There’s this place we used to take my great-aunt for picnics.”

“So I’m guessing it’s not a _wild_ hike? Or was your great-aunt an Amazon?”

“Come on, Felix,” Changbin tugs Felix by the hand. “Don’t mess around, you play baseball _and_ dance. You’re super active.”

“Which is why I’m not open to _more_ activity.”

“Come on.”

“Fine.”

The narrow dirt path leading down from the university’s parking lot winds through the dense forest on the side of the mountain. Every five steps Felix asks Changbin how the hell Changbin’s great-aunt managed this trail. Coming from anyone else, Changbin would’ve been annoyed. But for _some_ reason, he just smiles and tells Felix to stop whining, they’re almost there.

The dirt path opens to a larger path strewn with little pebbles. Then it brings them to a gentle slope of soft grass that tumbles right into a little river.

Felix squeezes Changbin’s hand.

Changbin looks back with both eyebrows raised. Felix looks troubled. “What’s up?”

“This isn’t in my Minecraft city.”

Changbin laughs so hard he has to sit down in the dirt.

“It’s not funny!” Felix groans, shaking Changbin’s shoulders playfully. “Here I was thinking I was nearly done with that thing and now you have to go and show me _this_\- Stop laughing at me!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Changbin wipes a tear from one eye with his hoodie sleeve. “But sometimes, Felix, I swear… You’re ridiculous.”

“Wow. Thanks.”

Changbin hops to his feet, throwing his arms around Felix’s waist. “Aw, I didn’t mean it in a bad way.”

“’_You’re ridiculous_’ is a compliment now?” Felix pokes Changbin in the stomach. “We really live in a _time_, huh?”

“Hey,” Changbin tilts his face up, bumping his nose against Felix’s. “Calm down, Bad Felix.”

Felix blinks at Changbin.

_First of all, how dare he… _

Changbin just smiles at him and turns off the path, pulling a rough blanket out of his backpack.

_How dare he get that close to me and _not_ kiss me._

Felix steps out onto the grass, taking the opposite two corners of Changbin’s blanket to help him lay it flat. Felix narrows his eyes at his boyfriend. _When are you ever going to just get over your damn self and kiss me?_

_Felix, why can’t you think of anything else?_

Changbin flops onto the blanket, resting his hands under his head as he smiles up at the early sunshine. He looks like a puppy sticking its head out the window.

“Wait, don’t move,” Felix pulls his phone out of his pocket and takes a photo.

Changbin scrunches his nose up at him. “Huh?”

Felix sits on the blanket next to him, putting his phone away. “Nothing, you’re just cute.”

“Stop it.” Changbin laughs.

Felix lays down next to him, propping himself up with one elbow as he watches Changbin cover his face with both hands.

Changbin lifts a hand and squints up at Felix against the sun. “What’re you thinking?”

“Oh, nothing,” Felix shrugs. “Just that I came to see you to get kisses, but instead I got _exercise_, mosquitoes, the fucking _sun_-”

Felix blinks in surprise. _Oh._

Changbin cups Felix’s tiny face in his hands, angling his own face to kiss Felix without their noses bumping each other. But he’s not thinking about it. He’s not worried about where his hands are going, or what he’s supposed to do next.

He smiles into another kiss. He’s not thinking of anything at all, and it feels so nice that Changbin wishes he could just kiss Felix forever.

Felix pulls away after a while – Changbin’s concept of time is currently out of commission – resting his hands on Changbin’s shoulders.

“Holy shit.” Felix says softly.

“Too much?” Changbin asks.

“No, I just have to fucking _breathe_, dude, I don’t have gills.”

Changbin laughs, falling back against the scratchy blanket. His stomach is starting to hurt. He doesn’t know what the hell he’s been doing, not hanging out with Felix 24/7.

Felix snuggles into the crook of Changbin’s arm, resting his head on Changbin’s arm.

Changbin looks over and notices Felix’s sour expression. “What’s wrong?”

“For some reason I imagined this would be… less uncomfortable.” Felix pokes Changbin’s bicep.

“Sorry.” Changbin laughs, stretching his arm out to flatten it a little. “Better?”

“No, you’re just a terrible pillow.” Felix squirms off of Changbin’s arm, resting his head on his own arm. He stretches the arm out and pats it. “I’m great. See?”

Changbin lays on Felix’s arm, his face just a few inches away from Felix’s. “Yeah. This is nice.”

Felix’s face is ridiculously pretty from this close. Changbin tilts his head back a little, counting all the freckles over Felix’s little nose and the eyelashes lining his half-shut eyes. Felix is so pretty that Changbin’s heart leaps like he’s just done a home run. There’s only one word for it: _Ridiculous_.

Felix doesn’t open his eyes, but he smiles. “Stop staring at me. I can _feel_ it.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Changbin scoffs.

Felix lifts a finger to his lips.

Changbin had been looking away from them on purpose. He closes his eyes and presses his lips gently to Felix’s. Once doesn’t feel right, so he goes back again. And again.

Felix grabs a fistful of Changbin’s hoodie, pulling him closer.

Changbin scoots closer until their knees touch, still kissing Felix all the while.

“Wait.” Felix laughs against Changbin’s lips, which sends a shiver down Changbin’s spine. “Have you had breakfast?”

“No. You?”

“I haven’t either.” Felix kisses Changbin on the nose before sitting up. He reaches for Changbin’s backpack and unzips it, rummaging through its contents like a racoon through trash.

Changbin props himself up on his elbows. “I’ve got uh, some tuna sandwiches, cookies, and some hardboiled eggs if you want.”

“Good, because all I have is Mountain Dew and some Hot Cheetos.” Felix empties his own backpack onto the blanket.

Changbin frowns at the three (why three?) cans of soda and two bags of Cheetos. He looks up at Felix. “We agreed on breakfast, didn’t we?”

Felix is already taking a bite out of one of the tuna sandwiches. “Uh, yeah?”

Changbin sighs, reaching for a bag of Hot Cheetos. “I guess Cheetos are breakfast now.”

“Of course they are.” Felix grins at him. He’s got a little bit of the tuna spread on the tip of his nose.

Changbin smiles.

Felix wakes up to something buzzing against him. He sits up groggily, his back and neck cracking as he does. _This picnic blanket _sucks_._

Changbin’s turned away from him, his shoulders rising and falling gently as he snores.

Felix watches for some time, ignoring the phone visibly losing its shit off to one side of the blanket.

He’s listened to Changbin’s snoring before, some times that Changbin stayed over and Felix couldn’t sleep. _It’s not loud, it’s just there, and once you hear it, you can’t unhear it._

Felix picks up Changbin’s phone, glancing at the caller ID.

He rejects the call and goes back to watching Changbin’s shoulders rise and fall.

Felix frowns at the gray streaks through Changbin’s hair. _He’s having a hard time, of course it’d show._

Felix moves the phone out of the way and snuggles up against Changbin’s back, tucking his face between Changbin’s shoulder blades. Changbin’s hoodie smells like grass and sun and strawberry-scented detergent, with just a little bit of sweat. Felix scrunches his nose, but doesn’t move away.

Felix’s just shut his eyes when Changbin’s phone starts vibrating again. He reaches over and picks it up.

He rejects the call again. If it had been any other phone but an iPhone 11, Felix would have thrown it.

The phone starts vibrating almost immediately.

Changbin shifts onto his back. “Wuh’s that?”

“Hyunjin’s calling.” Felix holds the phone out to Changbin.

“Oh, just ignore it.”

Felix swipes to reject the call.

But Hyunjin calls again.

“Goddammit.” Changbin mutters, fumbling for the phone with his eyes shut.

Felix places it in his hand.

“Yo.” Changbin grumbles when he picks up the call. “Yes. Really busy. No, it’s not running water. No, I’m not outside. Hyunjin, can you- _What_?”

Felix frowns, but he stays a respectful distance away. Though he can hear Jisung’s voice straining from this far away. _I hope it’s nothing serious._

“Okay. I’ll be there in fifteen. Yeah. See you.” Changbin sits up and starts packing things away into his backpack.

“What’s going on?”

“Sorry, Felix, but I need to go to the Parks’ house.” Changbin slings his backpack over one shoulder. “You don’t have to come.”

Felix doesn’t bother trying to hide the disgruntled expression on his face. “I’m coming.”

“You don’t need to-”

“I said what I said.” Felix rounds up all their trash in the picnic blanket and stuffs it all into his own backpack. “Why, you don’t want me to?”

“No, I don’t.” Changbin says.

“Because Hyunjin will be there?”

“What?” Changbin’s face goes through a whole rainbow of confusion. “What? No. Of course not, it’s just that it sounds like a mess over there, it’d be better if you didn’t come.”

Felix crosses his arms. “I’m not useless, you know.”

“I know that.” Changbin sighs.

“I’m going whether you like it or not.” Felix holds a hand out to Changbin. “Let’s go?”

Changbin looks at him for so long that it makes Felix nervous. Then he takes Felix’s hand. “I guess there’s no stopping you.”

“No.” Felix grips Changbin’s hand with no intentions of ever letting go. “Actually, I don’t know how to get back from here so you’re going to have to lead the way.”

He finds Changbin’s lips curled in amusement.

Felix scowls. “Go. I thought it was an emergency? What’re we standing around here for?”

Changbin leans over and leaves one Hot Cheeto-flavored kiss on Felix’s cheek. “We’ll continue our date later. Sorry.”

Changbin leans against the bus door, waiting for Felix to get down safely before he does.

“What kind of emergency are we talking about here?” Felix asks, stopping at the crosswalk to extend a hand to Changbin.

_Does he think I’m a kid? _Changbin scoffs as he takes Felix’s hand while they cross the street.

“Not sure,” Changbin replies.

They round the corner to find a police patrol car parked in front of the Parks’ apartment complex. Changbin tugs on Felix’s hand to stop him.

An officer – the one whom they’d met the other night at the school – is standing by the car, looking exasperated as he talks to an old woman.

“Why are the _police_ here?” Felix hisses.

“I don’t really know.” Changbin pulls Felix around the back of the police car, and up the fire escape to the Parks’ side balcony. He knocks on the window.

Hyunjin pushes the window open. “Hi Changbin you wouldn’t believe-”

Hyunjin seems like he’s about to say something else until looks past Changbin, frowning.

Felix gives Hyunjin an awkward wave, clinging to the fire escape steps with one hand. “Hey Hyunjin.”

“Hey.”

Changbin climbs into Hyunjin’s room, extending a hand to help Felix in. He lifts both eyebrows at Felix while Hyunjin closes the window. “You good?”

“Yeah.” Felix nods.

Changbin turns back to Hyunjin, who’s locking his window. “What’s going on?”

Hyunjin lets out a huge groan, leaning dramatically against the door to his bedroom. “Our stupid neighbor’s trying to get hyung arrested.”

“What _for_?” Felix makes a face.

Hyunjin sighs. “Breeding dogs for illegal dogfights.”

Changbin only keeps his face straight for all of half a second. Then he starts laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stream Sunshine for clear skin


	52. “I’m cute too” – Park Jinyoung

“Thanks,” Seungmin says to his mom’s extremely tired chauffeur. “But I’ll find my own way home-”

“Absolutely not.” The chauffeur shakes his head. “Send me a text when you’re ready to go home.”

The chauffeur frowns at the police car parked in the opposite corner. “Stay out of trouble.”

“Will do.” Seungmin assures him. Then he stuffs his hands purposefully into his hoodie pocket and crosses the street.

He doesn’t know what’s going on, or why this poor policeman’s trying to deal with this old lady with rollers in her hair and a voice louder than a foghorn. He doesn’t know anything, which is a weird and unwelcome feeling for Seungmin.

_Hyunjin was practically hysterical over the phone. _

Seungmin steps respectfully around the old woman with the hair rollers.

“Excuse me, young man, where do you think you’re going?”

Seungmin just points in the general direction of the stairs as he heads that way.

He rings the Parks’ doorbell.

Hyunjin’s older brother opens the door a crack. He looks even less put together than usual. “Oh- Seungmin! Kim Seungmin! Thank god!”

“It’s nice to see you, too.” Seungmin frowns. “Where’s Hyunjin?”

Hyunjin’s brother tugs him into the apartment.

Seungmin frowns when he sees Hyunjin and Changbin arguing over a wooden crate. _What’s Changbin doing here?_

“Hi Seungmin!”

Seungmin has to do a double take. _And Lee Felix too. Interesting. _“Hi.”

“Seungmin!” Hyunjin vaults over the wooden crate to tackle Seungmin around the waist.

Seungmin pats Hyunjin gingerly on the back. “What the heck is going on?”

“Our neighbors called the police on hyung,” Hyunjin says. “Because of the animals.”

Seungmin must be staring at Hyunjin for a long time, because Changbin cuts in.

“We need to move all the animals out,” Changbin says.

“To where?” Seungmin asks.

“I don’t know. Nobody knows.”

“It doesn’t matter, let’s just get them ready to go!” Hyunjin squeaks at Changbin.

“But where are we taking them!” Changbin growls back.

Seungmin walks over to the crate. Six of the cats are inside, hissing at each other. He sighs and pulls Hyunjin out. The other five immediately calm down, settling into the towels at the bottom of the crate.

Seungmin strokes Hyunjin-the-cat between the ears. “Stop fighting people, Hyunjin.”

“What?” Hyunjin-the-boy frowns.

“Not you.” Seungmin says calmly, petting Hyunjin-the-cat on the back. “The cat.”

“Oh.”

Seungmin uses one finger to nudge the curtains aside as he peeks out. The old woman with the rollers in her hair is still arguing with the policeman, who’s already starting to crack his back from exhaustion. “Your neighbor’s _really_ persistent, huh.”

“That’s Ms. Ko for you.” Hyunjin’s brother sighs.

“She doesn’t like you much, does she?” Seungmin asks.

Hyunjin’s brother’s eyebrows furrow. “Uh…”

“I’ll take that as a no.” Seungmin says, going back to help Changbin clip the leashes on the last three dogs. He’d tried to help Hyunjin and Felix with the cats, but they didn’t take to Changbin very well. _It’s a good thing he’s got a jacket on or his arms would’ve been ripped to shreds, _Seungmin thinks, holding one of the bigger dogs between his knees while Changbin struggles to clip the leash on.

Seungmin frowns and takes the leash from him, clipping it onto the buckle in a literal second. He doesn’t dislike Seo Changbin. But he doesn’t like him all that much, either. _You wouldn’t ever catch me dating someone who can’t even hold a cat without nearly getting killed._

“I have a plan.” Seungmin says.

“What is it?” Hyunjin’s brother asks.

“We blame Hyunjin.”

“Hey Mommy?” Jeongin leans on the kitchen counter innocently.

“What is it?” Jeongin’s mom narrows her eyes at him. Yuna, who’s in her arms, also gives Jeongin a suspicious look.

“Can we get a dog?”

“No.” Jeongin’s mother says flatly. “We have a baby in the house.”

“And whose fault is that?” Jeongin grumbles.

“_Your father’s_!” Jeongin’s mom grumbles back.

Yuna giggles.

Jeongin’s stomach turns. “Ew, Mommy, I didn’t wanna know.”

“Yup. Yeah. Okay. Bye, Jisung.” Changbin pockets his phone again.

“What did he say?” Felix asks, from where he’s sitting on the floor surrounded by dogs.

“The whole team’s there.” Changbin turns to Seungmin. “What about you guys?”

“I’ve got five people from my team.”

“That’s not nearly enough.” Changbin frowns, looking at the crate of cats.

“I know.” Seungmin says. “But we’ve just got to go with it. Right, Hyunjin’s brother?”

“I have a name.” Coach Park sighs. “And I don’t see why we have to tell Ms. Ko it’s Hyunjin’s fault when it’s technically mine-”

“Because she’ll probably let the whole thing go if you say it’s Hyunjin’s fault.” Seungmin says. “Because he’s cute.”

“Aw, Seungmin, stop.” Hyunjin laughs.

Coach Park sighs. “I’m cute, too.”

Changbin gives the coach a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, shaking his head.

“Ma’am,” Sungjin pulls out a handkerchief to mop his forehead. “It’s not a crime to have too many pets.”

“But they’re not pets!” The elderly woman barks at him, for probably the fifth time that morning. “I watched this television program about the underground dog fighting rings! He’s earning _millions_ from illegal activities! Arrest him!”

Sungjin sighs. “As I mentioned earlier, ma’am, I can’t arrest him without a warrant-”

“Then arrest the animals!”

Sungjin rubs his temples. “I can only arrest humans, ma’am.”

Ms. Ko opens her mouth to say something else, but she notices something behind Sungjin that makes her already reddened face turn an unsightly shade of maroon. “_YOU_!”

“Good morning, Ms. Ko.” Jinyoung says, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his cardigan as he comes out of the apartment buiding. “How’s your day go-”

“Arrest him! Now!” Ms. Ko prods Sungjin in the arm. “Go!”

“Ma’am, like I said-”

“I’m not breeding dogs for… whatever.” Jinyoung says calmly. “Hyunjin was just looking after some of his friend’s pets.”

Ms. Ko frowns at him. “Hyunjin?”

“My little brother.” Jinyoung says.

“Ah! The _baby_!” Ms. Ko’s entire face lights up. She pats Sungjin’s arm affectionately. “He really likes cookies. He used to come by my place for cookies almost every afternoon.”

Sungjin nods apprehensively. “That’s nice.”

“It’s so kind of Hyunjinnie to look after his friends’ pets for them,” Ms. Ko says. Then she notices something behind Sungjin again. “Is that him?”

Felix freezes in midstep, holding the leashes of three small dogs that also turn to face the elderly woman.

“Ah, uh,” Jinyoung laughs nervously, stepping in front of Ms. Ko to block her view while he waves Felix to run on ahead. “That’s just one of his friends, he’s here to pick up his dogs.”

Ms. Ko frowns.

Jinyoung looks back to find Changbin and Hyunjin carrying a clearly meowing crate out of the apartment building. He waves a hand. “Hyunjin, come here!”

Changbin and Hyunjin lower the crate gently onto the paved walkway, but a couple loud snarls come out nonetheless.

“Hyunjin!” Jinyoung hisses, starting to sweat. “Come here!”

Hyunjin walks over slowly, glancing nervously from his brother to the elderly woman to the police officer the whole while.

“You remember Ms. Ko, our neighbor?” Jinyoung says, placing his hands on Hyunjin’s shoulders to practically shove him towards the woman.

“The one who wanted you arrested?” Hyunjin blinks dazedly.

Jinyoung resists every urge to slap himself in the face.

“Ah, Hyunjinnie, you’re so tall!” Ms. Ko says, giving Hyunjin an affectionate pat on the cheek. “And so handsome! Unlike your brother.”

Jinyoung clears his throat.

Sungjin bites his lower lip like he’s trying to stop himself from laughing. “Well, uh, Ms. Ko, ma’am, if it’s all cleared up could I-”

“What are you still doing here?” The elderly woman scowls at him. “Don’t you have patrols to do?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Sungjin gives her a sharp, military-grade salute. “I’ll head on out now, ma’am.”

“Good.” Ms. Ko turns to leave, only stopping to smile one last time at Hyunjin. “You study hard and be good, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Hyunjin says, with a much sloppier salute.

Ms. Ko laughs all the way to the apartment building’s entrance.

Jinyoung sighs. “God fucking damn that old-”

“What did you _do_ to her?” Sungjin asks, cracking his neck like he’s only just realizing how long he’s been just standing there.

“Nothing!”

“Then why does she hate you so much?” Sungjin laughs. “She wanted me to bring you straight to _prison_.”

“I never…” Jinyoung trails off, staring glumly into the distance.

“Jinyoung?” Sungjin waves a hand in front of his friend’s face.

“I remember.” Jinyoung groans. “I broke her window with a baseball when I was in the sixth grade.” He ruffles his own hair in exasperation. “I can’t believe she’s _still_ mad about that! Is she _that_ bored?”

Sungjin snorts. Then he catches a sharp look from Jinyoung and sobers up. “Sorry.”

“Don’t you have patrols to do or something?” Jinyoung scowls at him.

“Yes, sir,” Sungjin says with a lazy salute. “See you around, dude.”

“See you.” Jinyoung nods as Sungjin gets into his patrol car. He pulls his own car keys out of his pocket and turns back to Changbin and Hyunjin, who’ve already picked the crate full of cats again. “Let’s take the car.”

“But the café’s only two blocks away.” Hyunjin says.

“It’s gonna feel like two hundred kilometers if you’re carrying that,” Jinyoung nods towards the wooden crate.

“It’s not gonna fit in the trunk, though.” Changbin says.

“I have rope.”

Jisung watches his uncle come out of the kitchen, glare at everyone in the café, then march over to the door and turn the sign around to CLOSED.

“Thanks for letting us use the café,” Seungmin says to Jisung’s uncle, who just lets out an unintelligible grumble before disappearing back into the kitchen.

Jisung’s aunt narrowly avoids three of the dogs, which are chasing each other around the tables, as she comes over. “It’s the least we could do. It’s so scummy that they didn’t really send these guys to another shelter.”

Jisung scoffs. “What were you expecting from our local government, Auntie?”

“I don’t know, better? The bare minimum? I mean, we pay taxes and-” Jisung’s aunt stops midsentence, frowning out the window. “That’s Jinyoung’s car, right?”

Jisung turns to the café’s front window. Sure enough, Coach Park’s blue car’s rolled to a stop in front of the café. But both of the back windows are open, and Changbin and Hyunjin are leaning out, each holding rope that’s tied around a huge wooden crate sticking out of the trunk.

Chan dashes to the door, flinging both open with a loud chime from the bell above. “Do you guys need help?”

He waves a couple of the other Weevils over to help carry the crate out of the trunk.

Hyunjin and Changbin collapse, folding over and rubbing their sore arms.

“We should’ve just walked.” Changbin mutters.

“Yeah.” Hyunjin agrees with a low groan.

Chan and the others carry the crate into the middle of the café.

Minho gets up, placing the dog he’s been carrying gently onto the floor. “Are those cats?”

Jisung frowns at him. “How do you know?”

“The _smell_.” Minho says, running over to help them open the crate’s lid.

Seungmin raises both hands in alarm. “Wait, I wouldn’t do that if I were-”

The second that the boys have the lid off, ten cats leap out of the crate like confetti from a party popper. The boys scream and run away in every direction, while the cats scatter around the café, climbing every surface and piece of furniture possible.

“Oh _no_!” Jisung’s aunt screams, ducking out of the way as a cat climbs onto the decorative hanging shelf, knocking the fake flowers over. “STOP THEM!”

Jisung tries to grab one of the cats, but it hisses at him.

Jisung backs away respectfully. “Sorry, ma’am or sir, I didn’t mean to offend.”

Changbin dives under a table to catch one of the cats, only to find himself grabbing an ankle that’s gotten in the way. He frowns up at Hyunjoon, who’s just calmly taking a video of the situation on his phone. “Heo Hyunjoon! Do something!”

“I _am_ doing something.” Hyunjoon hums as he posts the video to his story. “And now I’m done. What did you want, Captain?”

Changbin just groans and returns to crawling after another one of the cats.

“Hey there, little guy,” Felix says, squatting as he backs one of the cats, an orange tabby, into the corner. “It’s okay, I’m not gonna hurt you.”

The cat shrinks away behind the potted rubber tree.

“Come here, little guy,” Felix says gently, gingerly reaching out towards the cat.

The cat stares at him with big blue eyes.

Felix gives it a weak smile. “Come on?”

Then it jumps at him, using his arm to vault itself up onto a nearby table.

“God dammit.” Felix grumbles.

Seungmin’s got three cats in his arms, trying to pat them all as he lowers them carefully onto the floor. They sit on the tiles and look up at him expectantly.

“You guys had a rough ride on the way here, didn’t you?” Seungmin strokes the gray one gently between the ears. “Sorry about that.”

Someone put four cats on the ground next to him.

Seungmin looks up. Of course it’s Hyunjin.

Hyunjin gives him an apologetic smile. “Hyung didn’t wanna let us carry them all the way here.”

“I guess it was better this way.” Seungmin says, reaching out to pet one of the cats Hyunjin’s brought. “Any kind of car ride is a weird experience for them-”

“Wait.” Hyunjin catches Seungmin by the wrist.

Seungmin frowns at him. _What?_

Hyunjin points at Seungmin’s forearm. “You got scratched.”

Seungmin squints at his arm. He’d forgotten his glasses at home because _someone_ had been close to tears when he called, so Seungmin doesn’t see anything on his arm. _But my eyesight’s not _that_ bad. If there _is_ a scratch, it’s microscopic._

“I’ll go ask Jisung if they have band-aids and medicine,” Hyunjin says, standing up before Seungmin can stop him.

“We’ve got one.”

Changbin and Chan arrive with their forearms covered in little red scratches. Chan puts the culprit on the floor in front of Seungmin.

Hyunjin the kitten blinks her big shiny eyes innocently.

Seungmin tries very, very hard not to laugh as he picks Hyunjin-the-cat up and places her in his lap. “Hyunjin’s getting medicine, but you guys should probably go get those washed anyway.”

Chan nods, but Changbin frowns. “Has it had rabies shots yet?”

“Yes, _she_ has.”

Minho adjusts the clipboard in his arms. “Everyone, listen up.”

Seungmin, Jeongin, and their other teammates look his way, but the _damn_ Weevils are still laughing about something or the other… _How can they _still_ have so much energy? Are they on crack?_

Minho clears his throat louder. “Everyone!”

Jisung’s aunt just sighs and places a kind hand on Minho’s shoulder. “You know how they are, Minho.”

Minho bristles with irritation. Perhaps he’s about to lop one of the Weevils over the head with his clipboard.

Jisung gets up on one of the tables. “YOOO LISTEN UUUUP!”

Minho rolls his eyes. _Perhaps I’m about to bash _Jisung’s_ skull in with a clipboard._

“PAY ATTENTION! THE FUTURE WORLD LEADER HAS SOMETHING TO SAY!” Jisung yells, loud enough for the entire city to hear, probably. Then he gives Minho a gummy grin. “Take it away, Minho.”

Minho grins. _Perhaps not._

“Okay, we’ve got twelve cats and nine dogs to give away, and fifteen people so far who can adopt them,” Minho says. “Thank you to everyone who’s volunteering to adopt them, by the way.”

Chan starts clapping, which sets the whole room off in a sticky-sounding round of applause.

Minho tries not to make a face. “Anyway, to make this orderly, if your name is called, please get your new pet and get the fuck out of here so we can start cleaning up the café.”

He looks down at his clipboard, clearing his throat as he scans through the names.

“Are they all gone?” Younghyun standing in the doorway to the kitchen, his eyes darting around anxiously.

“Almost.” His sister says. “We’ve got one dog and three cats left.”

“I’ll take two of the cats.” Minho says, wringing out the rag he’s used to wipe the tables in the sink.

“Aw, Minho, you didn’t have to clean up,” Sana says, taking the rag away from him.

“Yeah, you don’t work here anymore.” Younghyun says.

“And Younghyun could do it anyway,” Sana nudges her brother.

“Oh, don’t take it personally, I just have OCD or something,” Minho assures them, drying his hands with a nearby towel. “I’ll just take my cats and go.”

Sana watches him walk back to the other boys still hanging around. She sighs. “It’s too bad he’s going to Seoul for college.”

“Too bad?” Younghyun scoffs. “He’s got a future. Good for him.”

Sana jabs him in the ribs. “What’re you saying about our nephew?”

“Jesus, Sana, I was talking about _me_.” Her brother laughs, brushing her hand away. He leans against the sink with a less disgruntled expression than usual. “I’m going to miss that kid, too. We’ll never find another person willing to do three people’s work for less than minimum wage.”

Sana sighs. “It’s a miracle he didn’t sue us, honestly.”

Younghyun freezes. “Is he taking up law?”

“No, I think he’s going into medicine.”

“Good.” Younghyun rolls his shoulders. “I’m making coffee, want one?”

“Sure.” Sana watches her nephew run to open the front door for Minho, who’s carrying his two new cats in a cardboard box. _Poor thing. _“Hey Younghyun, let’s get the dog.”

“No.” Her brother says, pressing down on the coffee grounds a little _too _hard.

“Come on, look at that cute brown _thing _with the short legs,” Sana turns her brother around to look at the dog currently making its way across the café. It has a very purposeful, but not productive walk that makes Sana smile. “It looks like you.”

Younghyun glares at her.

“I’m going to get the short-legged dog.” Sana says, untying her apron.

“No.” Younghyun grumbles. “We can’t afford to have another mouth to feed. And besides, we might lose our permit to operate if we keep an _animal_-”

“We already have Jisung.” Sana grins at him as she leaps the counter.

“What are you saying about my nephew?” Younghyun frowns at her, but she’s already gone.

“Jisung, tell your friends we’re keeping the short-legged dog.”

Jisung sits up, smiling up at his aunt with _all_ his teeth. “_Really_?”

“Yes, go bring him upstairs before your uncle says anything.” His aunt whispers, waving him off. Jisung nods and nabs the short-legged dog, dashing past his uncle before said uncle can even open his mouth.

Jisung’s aunt sits next to Changbin in the booth he’s parked himself at.

“Why aren’t you with the others?” She asks, nodding towards the boys sitting in the middle of the café floor, playing with the little black kitten no one else wanted to adopt.

“Hyunjin hates me.” Changbin says.

Jisung’s aunt frowns. “What? Why would he hate you?”

“Oh, no, not him,” Changbin laughs. “The cat’s name is Hyunjin.”

“Oh.” Jisung’s aunt takes a moment to think about that. “Confusing but okay, I’ll take it. Who’s coming to pick you up?”

“Oh.” Changbin checks the time on his phone. It’s half past four in the afternoon. “I’ll take the bus.”

“Okay.” Jisung’s aunt smiles.

“Oh, hyung!” Hyunjin says, coming up to Jinyoung’s table just as Jisung’s uncle lowers a cup of black coffee on it.

“Thanks, Younghyun,” Jinyoung inhales the coffee’s steam deeply, shutting his eyes.

“Your house must’ve been a mess with all the animals there.” Jisung’s uncle says.

“It was.”

Hyunjin shrinks back. _Maybe he won’t like my suggestion. _

“Guess you’re going to be able to sleep easier, now,” Jisung’s uncle notices Hyunjin just standing there. “Right, Hyunjin?”

Hyunjin nods slowly, still nodding as Jisung’s uncle walks away.

Jinyoung looks up at Hyunjin. “What’s up?”

“Nothing.” Hyunjin says.

“I _did_ call Mark and ask him if he wanted to keep any of them,” Jinyoung says. “If that’s what you wanted to ask.”

Hyunjin shakes his head. “No it’s… never mind.”

“Mr. Park.”

Jinyoung lowers his coffee slowly. He’d been trying to take a sip, but the combination of how intensely Seungmin’s staring at him and the _way_ he’d addressed him is just too weird, even for Jinyoung’s standards. “…Yes?”

“Could I ask you for a huge favor?” Seungmin dips into a bow that’s worryingly respectful.

“Uh, please don’t do that,” Jinyoung rasises his now-sweaty palms to stop him. “Just tell me, Seungmin, jeez.”

“Can you bring Hyunjin home?”

Jinyoung frowns at the kid. _Sometimes smart people just go insane. It happens._ “Of course I’m going to bring Hyunjin home, he’s my _brother_.”

“No, not him.” Seungmin says. “The cat.”

“Oh.” Jinyoung scratches his head. “I don’t know, with my neighbors and-”

“Seungmin wants to keep her but he can’t because of his parents.” Hyunjin (the boy, obviously) says. “Can we just keep her for him? And he can just come over when he wants to see her?”

Jinyoung stares at his brother. “You’re saying we’re going to be a foster home for Seungmin’s cat?”

“It’s more like shared custody, but yes.” Seungmin says sheepishly.

“Exactly.” Hyunjin grins.

Jinyoung leans back in his seat, folding his arms.

“I’ll give you all the money you need for whatever,” Seungmin says. “And I’ll even come over after training to clean her litterbox-”

“Hyunjin’s perfectly capable of picking up cat shit on his own.” Jinyoung says. He feels he sounded too harsh, because Seungmin and Hyunjin step back warily, watching Jinyoung with their big, nervous eyes.

Jinyoung sighs. _Why do they have to be so fucking _cute_?_

“Fine.” Jinyoung says. “We’ll keep the cat.”

“Oh my gosh, thank you so much!” Seungmin breaks into a grin, hugging Jinyoung tightly.

Jinyoung makes a face, but doesn’t even flinch when Hyunjin joins in.

“Thank you, hyung!”

“We’ve got to change her name, though.” Jinyoung says. “One Hyunjin is hard enough to live with.”

“What about…” Seungmin hums while he thinks. “Jinnie?”

Hyunjin smiles. “I like Jinnie.”

“No, what the hell, that’s even more confusing,” Jinyoung scowls. “Even _I_ could be a Jinnie!”

Seungmin and Hyunjin give him blank stares.

“No, you couldn’t.”

“It doesn’t suit you, hyung.”

Jinyoung crosses his arms again. “I used to be _so_ cute you just don’t know…” He mutters.

Changbin watches Felix’s dad’s Benz roll to a stop outside the café’s window. He turns to Felix, who’s reading something on his phone.

Changbin taps the top of Felix’s free hand. “Your dad’s here.”

“Oh.” Felix looks up and out the window. “Okay.”

“I guess I’ll see you at school tomorrow?” Changbin mumbles.

Felix sees his dad roll the front window down to squint into the café, but he doesn’t budge.

“Also I’m sorry our date got ruined.” Changbin feels his face getting red. “I’ll make it up to you next time, I promise.”

“Are you going home?”

“Yeah.”

Felix places a hand over Changbin’s. “Do you want to?”

Changbin looks up at him.

“You can always come home with me, if you want.” Felix says.

“Is it okay?”

“My dads don’t mind- I mean I think they like having you around.” Felix squeezes Changbin’s hand.

Changbin shakes his head slowly. “No, I think I should check on my dad. Thanks anyway, Felix.”

Felix tries not to look so disappointed as he nods.

“I’ll walk you out.”

“Hey Changbin!” Felix dad grins, leaning all the way to the window from the driver’s seat.

“Hi Uncle Jae,” Changbin laughs, waving back.

“How was your date?”

“It was fun, Dad,” Felix says, gently pushing his dad back into the car. He turns back to Changbin, using his entire body to block the window and keep his dad from popping out again. “I’ll call you later, Changbin.”

“Okay.” Changbin stuffs his hands in his pockets. “Bye.”

“Bye.”

“I love you.”

Felix chokes on thin air. “S- Seo Changbin, you can’t j- just-”

Changbin leans forward and kisses Felix quickly on the cheek. “Don’t play COD all night and forget to call me.”

Felix lifts a hand to touch his cheek, which is hot as if something’s just been burned into it. “I won’t.”

Changbin gives him one last, heart-melting smile before turning to cross to the bus stop across the street.

Felix crumples back against the car. That’s it. His kneecaps are busted.

“Hey, Felix?” His dad calls from inside the car. “Felix?”

Felix smiles to himself.


	53. “You can work hard on a shit, but it’s still a shit.” – Seo Changbin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix hears the door to the dance studio open. “Hang on, guys, I’ll just finish this run through then I’ll-”

He sees the reflection in the mirror, and it’s _not_ one of the girls.

“Okay.” Changbin says, going straight to sit in his usual spot in the far corner.

Felix sees the guy in the mirror who’s blushing like a damn fool. _It’s me. I’m fool. _

He walks over to the sound system and hits stop.

“I thought you were going to finish the run through?”

“Well, I _was_, then you distracted me,” Felix walks over to sit on the floor next to Changbin. “Anyway, I’m just waiting for the girls to get here.”

Changbin smiles at him. It’s that bright, warm smile that makes Felix dizzy, like he’d stood up too fast. “Can’t believe you really used _Heart Attack_.”

“It’s a nice song.” Felix leans against the wall. “Really bubbly and cute.”

Changbin leans his head on Felix’s shoulder. “Reminds me of someone.”

Felix scrunches up his nose. “Ew, you’re so-”

“I meant me.” Changbin winks at him. “I’m really cute.”

“Stop it!” Felix laughs, shoving Changbin, who just slides about an inch. “Annoying-ass mother-”

“Woah, watch your mouth,” Changbin laughs, before closing his own mouth around Felix’s.

Felix jumps back like he’d been shocked. He rises to his feet, crossing the entire room in purposeful stomps. “Seo Changbin we are at _school_, you can’t just-”

The door opens. “Hey hey hey, I heard we’ve got actual choreo for the competition!”

“Hi Felix! Hi Changbin!”

“Hey guys.”

Felix is pressed against the mirror, panting like he’d just run a mile. He _did_ run across the room, to be fair. “H- Hi, everyone.”

Changbin stands up, laughing. “I’ll leave you guys to it, then.”

“Nooo, you can stay!” Chaeryeong says, trying to catch Changbin as he heads for the door.

“Yeah, we really don’t mind!” Yeji says.

“Yeah, you don’t bother us,” Ryujin agrees.

“Maybe not you guys, but certain _Felixes_ might not want me around.” Changbin opens the door anyway, stopping to wink at Felix. He tilts his face so the girls can’t see him mouth out, ‘I love you.’

Felix struggles to keep his face blank. His eye twitches. “Get out of here, Seo Changbin.”

Changbin laughs all the way into the hallway.  
  


“Oh.” Is the first thing Chan says when he meets up with Changbin and Jisung outside the movie theater.

Changbin and Jisung stop arguing about the popcorn prices for a second to frown at him. Then they frown at Younghoon, who drops Chan’s hand to nudge him in the ribs. “I _told_ you so.”

The three of them turn to Chan with deeply disappointed looks.

Chan blushes. “I didn’t realize it was a no-dates kind of Friday… Sorry.”

“Well, sorry that some of us don’t have any _options_.” Jisung grumbles, folding his arms.

Chan lowers his head.

“I’ll just sit away from you guys,” Younghoon says.

“No, that’d be weird.” Changbin says. “Just sit with us. The damage is done.”

Chan’s blush spreads to his ears. “Sorry.”

“Hey Changbin,” Chan whispers, like he’s in a stadium and not a theater.

Younghoon nudges him from his left, giving him a stern look.

“Sorry.” Chan leans on his right armrest. He lowers his voice by one tiny notch on the Bang Chan scale, which goes from _Uncomfortably Loud_ to _Yelling His Lungs Out_. “Changbin, can you please ask Jisung to pass the popcorn?”

Changbin leans on _his_ right-hand armrest. “Hey Jisung-”

“I heard.” Jisung says, clutching the popcorn bag tighter.

“Give Chan some damn popcorn, Jisung, he paid his one third.”

Jisung lets out a loud groan, earning sharp glances from the couple next to him, who haven’t given up on this movie yet. “I miss having a rich boyfriend. We would have one bag _each_. Sometimes even two, if the movie was as dull as this one.”

Changbin tries to reach for the bag, but Jisung’s reflexes are faster than he anticipates them to be. “Jisung-”

Jisung shoves the popcorn bag in Changbin’s arms. “You should’ve brought yours.”

“My what?”

“Your rich boyfriend.” Jisung says.

Changbin sighs as he passes the bag to Chan, who gleefully scoops two fistfuls of popcorn into his mouth while Jisung watches on, auditing every last kernel Chan’s taking from the bag. Chan’s not taking as much as he could’ve because Younghoon’s got Chan’s other hand hostage. Their fingers are twined so tightly that Changbin, having played baseball with Chan for the past nine years or so, just _knows_ that Chan’s palms must be soaked with sweat. Younghoon doesn’t seem to care, though. He leans his head on Chan’s shoulder, smiling in the dim light from this terrible action film.

Changbin lets out a small, jealous huff as he settles back into his slightly dank theater seat.

_“Won’t it be weird?” Felix had asked._

_“Weird? Why would it be weird?” Changbin had made a face. “Chan and Jisung know you.”_

_“Yeah, but…” Felix trailed off, seeing his dad’s white Benz turn the corner onto the school’s street. “I just think it’ll be awkward.”_

_“You don’t have to come. I just thought it’d be nice.”_

_“Also the movie looks like shit.”_

_Changbin had laughed. Felix looked so cute when he was disgruntled. “That’s the point, Felix, it’s fun to trash the movie afterwards.”_

_“Ah.” Felix had shrugged. “That _is_ fun_. _But maybe next time.”_

_“Okay. Next time.”_

“Hey Changbin?”

Changbin blinks, realizing that the main character in the film is shooting the bad guys again, despite running out of bullets in a previous scene. _Absolute shit_. He turns to Jisung. “Yeah, sorry, what?”

“Could you hold my hand?”

Changbin’s glad he’d drained his soda half an hour ago. Otherwise it’d have ended up all over the unfortunate people sitting in front of him. “What the _fuck_.”

“It’s those two.” Jisung hisses, leaning forward to glower at Chan and Younghoon, who don’t pay him any mind. “They’re pissing me off. Did they not get the memo that the honeymoon phase _ends_? Jesus.”

Changbin chuckles. “Chill, dude.”

Jisung turns to the couple on his right, who have _clearly _given up on the movie. “Not you two _too_! Goddammit!”

“One star is too generous.” Jisung says, taking a long slurp of his ramen. “I’m giving them a flat _zero_.”

“But I’m sure they worked hard on it anyway,” Chan says, cracking his can of soda open.

Changbin’s still waiting for the convenience store’s coffee machine to give him a damn cup of coffee. “You can work hard on a shit, but it’s still a shit.”

Jisung lets out a worryingly wet snort. His face scrunches up in pain, one hand over his nose. “Ow, ow ow!”

“I’m writing that down,” Chan snickers. “_You can work hard on a shit, but it’s still a shit. _Poetry.”

“I hate to leave such _intelligent_ company, but I’ve got a rehearsal at 6:30 am tomorrow,” Younghoon says, resting his elbow on Chan’s shoulder like the latter’s nothing more than an armrest. “Thanks for tonight, guys. I’ll go on ahead.”

“I’ll walk you home.” Chan says, rising to his feet so quickly he nearly knocks his and Jisung’s dinner over.

Younghoon gives him a clearly amused frown. “I wasn’t planning to walk all the way back to the dorm from _here_, Chan.”

“It’d only take the better part of an hour,” Changbin mutters from experience as he hands Jisung a wad of tissues. Jisung can only muster a slight bow in thanks, still chortling on the ramen bits that had gone up his nose.

“I- I mean,” Chan grabs Younghoon’s hand like he’s worried the latter will get away from him. “I’ll walk you to the bus stop.”

Younghoon twines their fingers. “I know, Channie, I was just messing with you. Come on.”

The bell above the door of the convenience store chimes as they walk out hand in hand.

Jisung sputters like a beached fish. “God, Changbin, can you _time_ your moments of genius better? I thought I was gonna _drown_.”

“Sorry.” Changbin grins. “Imagine having to explain to your family that you drowned in a bowl of instant ramen. Your aunt would be like, _He’s not _that_ short_-!”

“Fuck you, man! You’re shorter than me!” Jisung laughs. “_You’d_ drown in a sauce packet!”

Changbin laughs so hard he has to lean on the coffee machine. It lets out a clunky whirr, and coffee streams out of the nozzle. The _wrong_ nozzle. The stream of steaming hot coffee misses Changbin’s cup entirely. “Fuck.”

Jisung casts a wary look at the convenience store’s cashier, who’s engrossed in drawing on her eyebrows in a hand mirror. He jumps to his feet, using the tissues already damp with the soup he’d spat out to mop up the spilled coffee.

Changbin can’t stop laughing. “This is fucking disgusting-”

“What’re you guys doing?”

Jisung and Changbin freeze guiltily, crumpled up wads of tissue in each hand.

They relax when they realize it’s only Chan, grinning from ear to ear like he’s just won the lottery.

Jisung lets out a loud groan. “Stop that.” He throws one of the damp tissues at Chan. “Stop it.”

Chan keeps smiling, despite being nailed in the chest with a tissue soaked with instant ramen broth, instant coffee, and less savory liquids from Jisung’s mouth.

Changbin grins, plucking the tissue off Chan’s sweatshirt. “What happened to you?”

“Younghoon kissed me.”

Jisung groans loudly. “Like it’s the _first_ time. Every damn time.”

Changbin pats Chan on the back. He knows what that’s like. He only hopes he doesn’t look as dumb as Chan does when it happens to him.

_No, I probably look dumber. _

But he couldn’t care less.

“I’m going to lay some ground rules.” Felix announces at lunch the next day. He slams his laptop lid shut and stares intensely in Changbin’s direction.

Changbin stops flipping aimlessly through his Economics notes. He looks up at Felix, who looks so lovely under the soft greenish light under the trees. His cheeks are just barely blushing from the noontime heat, and his soft, too-long-for-school-rules hair falls over his bright, pretty eyes. _Felix has a face that makes you wish you knew how to paint._

_Maybe I should learn. _

_I could, I guess._

“Changbin. I said something. Please respond appropriately.” Felix groans. “Ugh. _Please respond appropriately_. I’m starting to sound like my Business Writing paper.”

“Sorry,” Changbin laughs, tugging the edge of Felix’s shirt to pull him closer. “What were you saying?”

Felix scowls down at where his uniform shirt had come untucked because Changbin had pulled on it.

“Okay, rule number one, don’t be so touchy with me at school.” Felix says, tucking his shirt back in the waistband of his school slacks. “No hands.”

Changbin lifts both hands like he’s being arrested. “All right, but can I ask why?”

“Because we’re at _school_, Changbin, why do I have to explain that?” Felix says.

Changbin nods. He has no idea what Felix means by that, but he’ll respect it anyway.

“Rule number two,” Felix says. “No kissing me in public.”

Changbin lifts both eyebrows, but nods anyway. “Okay, what else?”

“Rule number two covers when we’re in my place.”

“Your place?” Changbin laughs. He feels bad that he does, because Felix looks dead serious, but he can’t help it anyway. “Sorry, but if we can’t kiss in public _or_ in private, then when are we supposed to-”

“Changbin would _you_ be able to kiss your boyfriend knowing your parents are just through the super-thin walls?”

“Yes.”

Felix sighs. “You were the wrong person to ask.”

“Okay, okay,” Changbin reaches out for Felix’s hand, but he hesitates and folds his hands on the table instead. “Can I ask where all these rules are coming from?”

Felix purses his lips, dimples forming around his mouth.

It’s so cute that Changbin has to bite on his own lips to stop himself from kissing Felix then and there.

_The day before_

“I think it’s worth checking out.”

Felix’s dad scoffs at his husband, turning the car into their apartment building’s basement parking. “Nah, she always makes noises like that.”

“Our son rides this car.” Felix’s papa says sternly. “Bring it to the shop.”

“But I don’t _waaaaanna_.”

Felix sits in the back, bobbing his head to the lo-fi music playing over the radio while he scrolls down his Twitter feed. His dads do this probably once a week. It’s something of a routine for them, like a comedy skit Felix has to witness every week against his will.

A loud thump comes from somewhere under the car as it turns into their assigned parking slot.

The three of them look back to find some metal thing lying in a puddle of grease behind the car.

Felix raises his eyebrows curiously. _An interesting development in the script._

“Shit.” Felix’s dad steps out. “What the fuck is that?”

Felix’s papa holds out a plastic ecobag he’d dug out of the glove compartment. “Can you just go to the shop already?”

“But _Matty_,” Felix’s dad whines. “It’s like going to the doctor.”

“Yes.” Felix’s papa says, frowning. “Both are good for you.”

“But they just tell you all this shit that’s wrong and how it’s all your fault-”

“Jae, please stop digging yourself deeper.” Felix’s papa says. “Felix and I’ll put the groceries away-”

“Actually, I think I’ll go with Dad.” Felix’s stepped out of the car at this point, still looking at the tweets on his phone.

His papa blinks at him. “Pardon?”

“I’ll go with Dad to the shop.”

“Felix, I don’t want you on that…” Felix’s papa gives the car a derisive look. “_Thing_.”

“Don’t say that about her.” Felix’s dad says, putting his arms protectively around the car’s roof.

Felix’s papa lets out an exasperated whinny as he opens the trunk. “This doesn’t lock. See? It doesn’t lock.”

“We never put anything valuable in there anyway-”

“That’s not the _point_.” Felix’s papa says, taking all four grocery bags out of the trunk. “Felix, come along.”

Felix purses his lips.

The car lets out a loud groan as it hops up from the street and into the car mechanic shop.

“Professor Park!” Mr. Seo smiles broadly as he closes the shop’s gate behind Felix’s dad’s car. “Always nice seeing you, buddy.”

“Haha, kinda wish we saw each other a little less, though,” Felix’s dad grimaces. “_Buddy_.”

“Eh.” Mr. Seo grimaces right back at him.

“You remember my son Felix?”

Felix steps out of the car gingerly. Changbin’s dad’s smile goes a little lopsided when he sees him. Felix doesn’t blame him. It’s neither of their fault that Changbin doesn’t know how to pick the right time to say or do things.

“Hi, Mr. Seo.” Felix says.

“Hello, Felix, how are you doing?” Changbin’s dad asks, warmly enough.

“I’m fine, thanks.”

Changbin’s dad shifts his weight from one foot to the other, like he’s waiting for something. Felix has no idea what it could be.

Felix’s dad lifts a crumpled ecobag. “This fell out of my car a while ago.”

Changbin’s dad frowns as he takes the bag from Felix’s dad, peering inside. “Oh.”

“Is it important?”

“Yes.”

“Can you put it back?”

“Yes, I could probably get it done in less than an hour.” Changbin’s dad doesn’t sound very confident. “But uh, just a word of warning, we can’t accept cards right now. The machine’s broken and uh, my son-” Changbin’s dad glances at Felix then. Felix wants to dig a hole and bury himself in it. “-My son’s usually the one who fixes that computer stuff, but he’s out with his friends and uh… Yeah, I’ll have to take cash.”

“Oh crap.” Felix’s dad pulls his wallet out and frowns at it. It’s basically a booklet of credit cards. “Felix, how much cash do you have on you?”

“I left my wallet at home. Sorry.”

“Shit.”

“There’s an ATM in the shopping center down the street.” Changbin’s dad says.

Felix’s dad fixes him with a terrified look.

“It’s a safe walk, Professor.” Changbin’s dad assures him. “Just yell if anyone tries to give you any trouble.”

“_Yell_?”

Changbin’s dad nods. “As loud as you can.”

Felix’s standing at the gate of the car shop, watching as far down the street as he can see. The street seems to be empty, as it has been for the past fifteen minutes or so.

“Is he back yet?” Changbin’s dad asks, his voice muffled as he’s currently under Felix’s dad’s car.

“Not yet.” Felix cranes his neck.

Changbin’s dad rolls out from under the car. “He’s a big guy, Felix, I’m sure he can handle himself. And this street’s not so bad, don’t worry about him.”

The comforting smile Changbin’s dad gives him looks so much like Changbin’s that Felix smiles back, despite himself.

“Thanks.” Felix says.

“N- No problem.” Changbin’s dad quickly rolls back under the car, his face cherry red.

Felix turns away from the street, leaning on the gate. He watches Changbin’s dad’s feet wiggle to the beat of a song playing over the radio in the corner.

Changbin _did_ tell Felix, on one of the very few occasions that he talked about his parents, that he was always more like his mom than his dad. Felix had assured him that wasn’t true, but he isn’t so sure about it anymore.

However much Changbin likes to drop things out of nowhere, his dad never seems to drop things at all.

“Uh, Mr. Seo?”

Changbin’s dad rolls out from the under the car so quickly that Felix jumps. “What is it? Is your dad there? Is he okay?”

“No, no,” Felix glances out at the empty street before turning back to Changbin’s dad. “It’s nothing like that.”

“Oh, good.” Changbin’s dad puts a hand to his heaving chest. “Whew.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Changbin’s dad rolls back under the car.

“Mr. Seo,” Felix says again.

Changbin’s dad rolls out again. “Yeah?”

“I’m uh… I think Changbin may have told you that um… we’re dating.” Felix says slowly, pursing his lips while he waits for some kind of reaction. _Maybe I pulled a Changbin. Maybe I should’ve eased him into it more. _“If it’s okay.”

Changbin’s dad stares at him for a long time, his face completely blank. Then he sits up, nodding aggressively. “Y- Yes, of course it’s okay. Why wouldn’t it be? Um… Congratulations?”

Felix resists the urge to smile, mostly out of pity. “Uh, thanks. He’s a really great guy.”

“I had nothing to do with that.” Changbin’s dad laughs. “But yeah, he is.”

Felix stands there, while Changbin’s dad sits there, both in complete silence. Felix feels like Changbin’s dad has something more to say, but it stays hanging in the air for so long that Felix wonders if it’s died.

“Did you want to ask me something, Mr. Seo?”

“O- Oh, no, I don’t.”

Felix nods slowly. “I see.”

“Actually, I- Do your parents know?” Changbin’s dad asks.

“That Changbin and I are dating?”

“Yes.”

“Well…” Felix realizes he’s never told them. _But they _must_ know by now. I’ve had friends before, and _clearly _Changbin’s something else. _Surely_ they know by now._

“They’re not angry, are they?” Changbin’s dad asks, as gently as one would speak to a newborn baby. “That you’re dating ah, uh, a boy?”

Felix can only stare at the mechanic, who in turn is looking up him in such earnest concern that he can only conclude that the man is serious. _He’s fucking _serious_. _

“My parents are both boys…” Felix says slowly. “Who dated each other.”

“Oh.” Changbin’s dad slaps himself in the face. “Right. Stupid Dongho. Very stupid. I’m sorry, Felix.”

“It’s all right.” Felix says. Then he frowns. “Are _you_ okay with it?”

“Of course. My best friend in college was gay. I mean, he still is gay. And he’s still my friend…” Changbin’s dad seems to have confused himself more than Felix. “I don’t actually mind, as long as no one gives you trouble for it. That’s what I’m angry about.”

Felix leans back against the gate in silence.

“I mean, my buddy and I studied in Seoul, I thought people were more open-minded there, but assholes are just everywhere- Ah, sorry for my language.” Changbin’s dad blushes.

“It’s okay, Mr. Seo, you should hear my dad when we play video games.”

Changbin’s dad nods, but his brow is still furrowed, probably from remembering things he didn’t want to. “The people here can be very conservative and old-fashioned, Felix. And they love to talk. About other people.”

Felix nods slowly. He doesn’t know what Changbin’s dad is getting at, but he doesn’t think he’ll like it, whatever it is.

“Uh, I know it’s not my place to tell you what to do… I can hardly tell my own son what to do,” Changbin’s dad says with a self-deprecatory chuckle. “But I hope you guys are uh, careful- Not about _that_, but um-”

“You don’t want other people to find out.”

Changbin’s dad looks embarrassed. “The people around here, Felix, they’re not bad people, but they’re just not… accepting of _new_ things.”

Felix doesn’t bother saying there’s hardly anything new about boys dating boys. “I know. I get what you mean, Mr. Seo.”

Changbin’s dad gives him a sad smile. “I’m sorry that’s how it is, Felix.”

_Present_

“What’s my dad got to do with it?” Changbin’s stood up, glaring at Felix. “He’s not the one dating you, he doesn’t get to say what…”

Felix glares right back at Changbin until the latter shuts up. “He has a point. There are so many idiots in this goddamned city. You know that.”

Jang Junghyun’s name hangs in the air between them. Felix doesn’t even need to mention it.

“Screw them.” Changbin folds his arms. “I don’t care if-”

“I do.” Felix says. “Because I know that you’d fight every last one of them if they even _looked_ at me weird. And I don’t want you to.”

Changbin sits back down, but his jaw is clenched so tightly it juts out a little. Felix knows that look.

“I know you can take them all on, easy, they don’t stand a fucking chance,” Felix says. “I couldn’t give less fucks about them, honestly. But it always ends up worse for you. I don’t want that.”

Changbin looks away, staring at one of the trees nearby.

“I love you, Changbin.” Felix says. “Those motherfuckers don’t even deserve to get punched in the face by you.”

Felix tilts his head, trying to read Changbin’s expression. He’s afraid to reach out and touch Changbin when he’s angry like this – it’s not that Felix is actually afraid of him, but he’s worried Changbin might do something he’ll regret later.

Changbin’s lip trembles.

“Changbin-”

Changbin sputters, before bursting out laughing.

Felix rolls his eyes. “Fuck’s sake, Changbin, I’m serious.”

“How am I _not_ supposed to laugh?” Changbin asks, clutching his stomach. “They don’t _deserve_ to get punched in the face by me? Are you _kidding _me?”

Felix grimaces. _How do I delete a message in a verbal conversation…_

“Look,” Changbin says, laying his hands on Felix’s waist, before reconsidering it and drawing his hands back to his sides. “I never want to make you uncomfortable, Felix, so if you want us to be more…uh…”

“Low-key.”

“_Low-key­,_” Changbin says with a smirk that Felix half hates and half loves. “If that’s what you’re comfortable with, then that’s how we’ll do things.”

Felix stares at Changbin. He can’t believe he’s real. _There’s got to be a catch. There’s got to be some huge, horrible catch. _

“Felix?”

“I…” Felix’s throat seizes up. _Am I going to cry? What the hell? _“I was kidding about not doing stuff in my room.”

Changbin smiles. Felix’s eyes can’t focus on it, because he, like a complete loser, is _crying_. 

“I- I _very_ much want to do things with you in my room.” Felix chokes out.

“Shhh,” Changbin laughs, putting his arms around Felix. “I know you do.”

“Someone might see us,” Felix mumbles into Changbin’s now damp shirt.

“So what, you’d rather they saw me just sitting here watching you cry like I didn’t give a fuck?”

Felix sniffles.

“Is there actually anyone there?” He asks.

He feels Changbin twist to look around. “No.”

Felix leans away from Changbin for a second, looks left and right like he’s about to cross a street, then plants a very small, quiet kiss on Changbin’s lips.

“I know you were very jealous of Chan and Younghoon and their ill-advised PDA-ing at the theater,” Felix says nudging Changbin ahead of him. He’s got his hands clamped down over Changbin’s eyes. “So I said, fuck that, let’s do it, too.”

Changbin stops struggling against Felix’s hands. “Felix, we are at your house.”

“I know that.” Felix draws his hands back. “Ta-da!”

Changbin finds himself in the living room of Felix’s apartment, looking exactly as it has every other time he’s been here. “I don’t-”

“I forced my dads to go out on a date. They promised to be back by 12, but I wouldn’t count on it,” Felix explains, walking over to the kitchen. He lifts a box up onto the counter. “Plus, _our_ popcorn’s unlimited, and technically free because my pops bought it.”

Changbin grins. “Thanks, Felix.”

“No prob,” Felix pops one bag of popcorn into the microwave and starts it. “Sit down, I’ll take care of this.”

Changbin leans on the kitchen island instead, grinning at Felix. “What movie are we watching?”

“Secret.”

Changbin leans across the counter until his nose grazes Felix’s. “What’s the rating?”

Felix scowls at him. “Did you really think I would play porn on my pops’ 58-inch TV with full _surround sound_?”

Changbin laughs. “I wasn’t-”

“Here.” Felix pulls the steaming bag of popcorn out of the microwave and tosses it to Changbin, who yelps and drops it on the counter.

“Bad _Felix_!” Changbin blows on his reddened fingers.

Felix laughs and slides around the island to wrap one arm around Changbin’s waist. “Sorry.”

Changbin lifts his hands up, wiggling his fingers. “Kiss?”

“No.”

“Felix, you almost fucking _burned_-”

Felix kisses every one of Changbin’s fingertips in rapid succession, like a celebrity blasting through high-fives with fans when they’re hard-pressed for time. “There. Happy?”

Changbin smiles. “Yes.”

“Go sit down already.” Felix passes by the controls on the wall to dim the lights in the living room. Then he switches the TV on. “What movie do you want to-”

The screen is paused on a frame of a young white boy in baggy hand-me downs standing by a red curtain on the side of a stage.

“Ah, Pops was probably watching this,” Felix says, exiting the video. “It’s his favorite movie.”

“Really?” Changbin lifts both eyebrows. He trusts Felix’s pops’ taste in everything. _Especially when it comes to adopting kids, _he thinks with a little smile. “What is it?”

“_Billy Elliot.”_ Felix says. “It’s about this boy who dances ballet but everyone’s a jerk to him and stuff.”

“Let’s watch it.”

_The next week_

Felix is so focused that he doesn’t hear the door to the dance studio open.

“Oh, cool, what’s this?”

Felix skids to a stop, nearly twisting his ankle as he has to grab the barre to steady himself. “N- Nothing.” He says as he scrambles to stop the sound system.

Yeji tilts her head curiously. “Another routine?”

“It’s not- It’s nothing,” Felix says, trying to give her a smile she could believe.

Yeji has this way of looking at him that looks like she can _smell_ bullshit. Felix doesn’t like it, but he does like Yeji a lot, so he lives with it.

She peers over his shoulder at the phone he’s holding. “_A Town Called Malice_?” She reads out in English.

“It’s a s- song from a movie my d- dad likes.” Felix stammers out. “I performed it once in primary school.”

Yeji folds her arms, wearing this grin that Felix is _very_ uncomfortable with. “Can I see the routine?”

“N-”

“Yoooooooooo!” Ryujin bursts into the room, followed shortly after by Chaeryeong, who’s bowing apologetically as she walks in.

“Sorry for being late, we had a-”

“Felix is gonna dance something for us.” Yeji says.

Chaeryeong straightens up, mouth open in excitement. “What?”

Ryujin’s got her phone out. “Video? Yes? No?”

_Dammit, Yeji. _

Felix rolls his shoulders.

“Yeeeeees!” The girls cheer, scrambling to take their seats by the mirror.

“I’ll do it on one condition,” Felix says. “I mean, two conditions.”

“Okay.” Yeji says.

“What are they?” Chaeryeong asks.

“First, no videos,” Felix says, ignoring Ryujin’s dramatic slump onto the wooden floor. “Second, don’t tell _anyone_ I’m practicing this.”

Chaeryeong raises her hand. “Not even Changbin?”

Felix takes a deep breath. “Not even Changbin.”

_A week earlier_

Thanks to his Papa, Felix knows the entire _Billy Elliot_ by heart, so even though he falls asleep in the middle and wakes up at the end, he knows exactly what’s going on. _Where other families have religions, ours has musical movies._

The credits begin to roll, so Felix pauses the video.

“Changbin, what do you want-”

Felix stops himself. He _did_ notice that Changbin’s gotten pretty quiet, and stopped trying to make out with him, but he’d fallen asleep shortly after that.

“Changbin, are you _crying_?”

Changbin rubs his nose gracelessly on the collar of his pajama top. “Wuh- uh- when his _dad_-”

Felix tries not to laugh, reaching for a box of Kleenex on the coffee table. He had brought it out expecting _other_ things. _But this is Seo Changbin we’re talking about, what the hell were you expecting, Felix? It’s tears every fucking time._

“It’s- suh- suh- so _beautiful_,” Changbin bawls. Felix hands him the entire box of Kleenex. “Th- thanks, I love you.”

Felix sighs, brushing Changbin’s hair out of the way while the latter blows his nose. “I love you too, you big baby.”

Changbin curls up in his seat, tucking his face into his knees until he’s a tiny, blubbering ball.

Felix puts his arms around the blubbering ball, hugging him tightly.

Changbin mutters something.

“What?” Felix asks, resting his head on top of Changbin’s.

“Don’t tell Jisung or the others about this.”

“What?”

“They gave me such shit for crying during that other _Transformers_ movie, imagine when they hear this.”

Felix slaps him on the arm, _hard_. The sound echoes in the otherwise empty apartment. “I’m texting Jisung right now.”

“No, no,” Changbin laughs, taking Felix by the shoulders and throwing him against the couch. He straddles Felix, pinning Felix’s arms to his sides. “Don’t text Jisung.”

Felix stares up at Changbin, breathless. “I won’t tell anyone. Swear it on my life.”

Changbin smiles. Then he leans down to kiss Felix gently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "enough with this gentle kisses bullshit enOUGH OF THIS KISSING GENTLY BULLSHIT" -my sister


	54. Permission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Lee Felix?” Jackson looks away from his phone at the gaggle of boys around him. “He’s not here again today?”

The Weevils all turn to Changbin, who blushes. “He’s uh, he’s got a lot of schoolwork.”

Jackson nods, pocketing his phone. _Poor kid._

“Go start jogging, guys.” Jinyoung says. “How many rounds, Jack?”

_Wait a second._

“Hold on, Jinyuong.” Jackson runs through all the boys assembled before him before stopping to point at Youngjae. “Youngjae.”

Youngjae’s entire face blanches. “Y- Yes, Coach?”

“Aren’t you in Felix’s year?”

“Y- Yes, Coach.”

Jackson notices Changbin stiffen up next to him. _As expected. _

“Do you have a lot of schoolwork, Youngjae?” Jackson asks the sophomore.

“N- No, Coach.” Youngjae stammers out.

Jackson turns to Changbin with one eyebrow raised.

“Felix missed a few days ‘cause he was sick, Coach.” Changbin says without skipping a beat.

Jackson gives Changbin a meaningless smile and a friendly enough nod. He knows better than to even begin to argue with Changbin, and about Felix of all people.

“Ten laps today, boys.” Jackson says.

The boys all groan until Jinyoung blows his whistle. “The sooner you guys start, the sooner it all ends.”

The Weevils still don’t move, not even Chan, so Jackson turns to Jinyoung with a look that says, _Bring out of the big guns._

Jinyoung clears his throat, takes a breath, then begins to sing in a soft voice, “Some…body once told me.”

The boys give their coaches dead looks.

“The world was gonna roll me.” Jinyoung sings on, very quietly like he’s afraid of someone he knows catching him. Still, the boys don’t react. “I ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed.”

Jinyoung frowns at Jackson.

“She was lookin kinda dumb,” Jackson continues, feeling his face warm with shame as he does. “With her finger and her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead…”

Jisung, whose face had gotten red seemingly from the effort of holding himself back, finally gives up. “Well… THE YEARS START COMING AND THEY DON’T STOP COMING!”

“BACK TO THE RULES AND I HIT THE GROUND RUNNING!” Chan yells.

“DID IT MAKE SENSE NOT TO LIVE FOR FUN?” Changbin shouts, cupping his hands around his mouth.

“YOUR BRAIN GETS SMART BUT YOUR HEAD GETS DUMB!” The rest of the Weevils squawk in response.

“SO MUCH TO DO SO MUCH TO SEE!” They chant as they start running. “SO WHAT’S WRONG WITH TAKING THE BACK STREETS!”

Jackson waits for the boys to reach the opposite side of the stadium, still yelling the damn Shrek song. He turns to Jinyoung, who’s started smiling at his phone. He’s been doing that a lot lately, but Jackson has the feeling their fragile friendship will go to the dogs if he even tries to ask.

“Hey Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung looks away from his phone, his expression turning cold in the split second that he does. “Yes?”

Jackson’s more than a little spooked. _In another life, he could’ve been an actor. _“You work at the high school, right?”

“Yes.”

“Is anything…” Jackson pauses to reconstruct the question in his head. “Do you know any reason why Lee Felix has been missing exactly half of our training schedule?”

Jinyoung thinks for a moment. “I’ll ask around.”

“Thanks, man.”

“Is Felix coming?”

Changbin shakes his head. “He’s busy with something.”

“He’s been really busy lately, huh?” Chan frowns.

Jisung swirls whatever liquid is in his glass. “Honestly, Changbin, I’m starting to think Felix is a figment of your imagination.”

Hyunjin elbows Jisung so roughly that Jisung spills a little of his drink onto the armrest of the couch they’re on.

Changbin just laughs. He’s starting to get tired of making excuses for Felix. He’s not tired of doing it for Felix – he intends to keep doing things for Felix for as long as he lives – but he’s tired of making up the excuses themselves. He just hopes Jisung is tipsy enough to not question him further.

Jisung opens his mouth to say something, but the door to the room slams open before he can even start.

“Hey. Hey.” Soojin marches into the room, taking the glass out of Jisung’s hand. “No drinks in here. If you spill on the couch, I am using your skin to make the new leather to upholster it.”

Changbin makes a face. “That’s a very weird and graphic threat.”

“It doesn’t apply to you, Changbin honey, drink wherever you want.” Soojin gives Changbin a sweet smile. “Is your boyfriend coming?”

Changbin frowns at her. _Why would Minho’s sister know…_

“No, he’s not.” Hyunjin says.

Jisung tries to reach for the glass Minho’s sister is holding. “Changbin’s boyfriend doesn’t do parties. He’s a goody two shoes.”

“Is he? Sounds cute,” Soojin perches on the armrest on Jisung’s side of the couch before Hyunjin, Chan, or Changbin can stop her. If she realizes that the seat of her shorts is now wet, she doesn’t seem to mind it. “Tell me all about him.”

“I’m wondering how you know about him at all.” Changbin glares at Jisung.

“Wha-” Jisung makes an offended noise, squirming out of the way before Hyunjin can elbow him again. “_Everyone_ knows you two are dating! It’s old news!”

“It’s still not your place to go around telling everyone about them.” Chan frowns.

“What’s his name?” Soojin asks, before Changbin can even start with Jisung.

“Felix.” Changbin says, feeling his lips curl involuntarily into a smile as he does.

“Oh, Felix the little kid?” Soojin laughs.

“Yeah.” Chan and Hyunjin nod.

“He’s not a little kid.” Changbin says sounding more defensive than he’d wanted to.

“I know, but you’re all little kids to me,” Soojin says, just as the door opens. She makes a face. “Except that bitch.”

“What are all of you doing in my room?” Minho scowls, shooing them all like birds perched on a car. “Go downstairs like normal people!”

Minho seems to notice Changbin just then. “Oh! Changbin!”

Jisung groans. “Let me guess, _Changbin_ can hang out in your room but the rest of us-”

“Just the guy I was looking for,” Minho says, trying to insert himself into the tiny space on the couch between Chan and Changbin. Put simply, he drops himself into Chan’s lap. “I was able to persuade my aunt to lend us one of her houses in Seoul for the finals.”

Changbin stares at him.

“_One_ of her houses?” Jisung makes a face.

“She’s got four in Seoul alone.” Soojin explains, using Jisung’s shoulder as an armrest.

“Jesus. What are her thoughts on adoption?”

Soojin laughs. “Get in line, Jisung.”

“Anyway,” Minho says, giving Changbin a broad grin. “We’ve got enough space for all the Weevils to come, too. What do you think?”

Changbin grins right back at him. “Why, are you worried the other team’s going to bring more people to cheer for them?”

Minho flicks Changbin in the shoulder. “Just tell the others the invitation’s open, bitch.”

“Sure thing… bitch,” Changbin starts to fumble around for his phone, which seems to have fallen somewhere on the couch. “Hey Jisung-”

“Already on it, Cap,” Jisung says, typing furiously on his phone, face lit by what Changbin assumes to be the team group chat. “Hyunjoon’s asking if we have to pay.”

“Just for your train tickets,” Minho says. “I’m not your fairy godmother.”

Changbin finds his phone. He tilts it away from the others’ sight so they don’t see his lock screen – which is a picture of Felix that one time he’d borrowed Changbin’s phone to take selfies.

> _17 new messages in _Jackson Wang’s Devout Followers 🙏😔😿
> 
> _2 new messages from Lix._

Changbin checks the latter first, obviously.

“It sounds like fun,” Chan says, leaning into view from behind Minho. “But I don’t know if all the other guys will be allowed to go on such short notice.”

“I could probably get my brother to come with us,” Hyunjin says. “So there’s an adult and stuff.”

“Coach Yoo would like that.” Minho and Soojin say at once. They exchange knowing looks.

“Hey Cap,” Jisung reaches over Chan and Minho to poke Changbin in the knee. “Tell your boyfriend to answer the poll.”

“He’s busy,” Changbin says instinctively, smiling as he leaves hearts on the selfies Felix sent him from the dance studio.

> _Bin: _Are you still practicing? It’s late :c
> 
> _Lix: _oh naw im at home i took those earlier
> 
> _Bin: _Oh good ❤
> 
> _Lix: _what about u are u home yet?
> 
> _Bin: _No I’m still at Minho’s. I think I’ll go home in a little while, though, why?
> 
> _Lix: _ok tell me when u get home
> 
> _Bin: _Why?
> 
> _Lix: _nothing 😜
> 
> _Bin: _Hahahahaha
> 
> _Lix: _actually nothing I just wanted to call I didn’t see you at school today
> 
> _Lix: _and I miss u
> 
> _Lix: _LMAOOOOO LOOK AT THIS NEEDY MF
> 
> _Bin: _MF?

“Changbin.”

Changbin turns back to the others to find them all staring at him. “Huh?”

“Are Felix’s parents strict?” Chan asks, sounding a little tired, like he’s asked it a couple times before.

_Oops, _Changbin thinks. “No, they’re not.”

“They let him date Changbin, how strict can they be?” Jisung scoffs.

Changbin narrows his eyes at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Chan clears his throat, leaning until his entire torso makes a wall between the other two. “You think they’re going to let Felix go with us to Seoul this weekend? I miss the little guy.”

“He’s not a kid.”

Minho whistles as he weaves through the crowd in the hallway, keeping clear of each of his schoolmates by at least a foot. He taps the sheaf of papers in his hand against his thigh, to the beat of this song Jisung had gotten stuck in his head.

He checks the plaque by the classroom door before poking his head in. “Hey, is Seungmin here?”

The two girls by the door had been trying to stuff an entire bag of chips in their mouths before the next class began. They stop and point at the back corner seat by the window, salt and chip bits flying off their fingers.

“Thanks,” Minho gives them a sweet, only slightly disgusted smile. He walks over to Seungmin’s desk and sits on its edge. “Hey Seungmin, do you have your parents’ consent thing?”

Seungmin plucks an earbud out. “My what?”

“The permission form.” Minho waves the stack of signed forms in his hand. “For the championship this weekend?”

“Oh.” Seungmin opens his filecase, flipping through the neatly labeled sections. He pulls out a form nearly identical to the ones Minho’s holding.

Except it’s blank where Seungmin’s parents’ signatures ought to be.

“Shit.” Seungmin mutters.

“It’s cool, I could probably wait for yours till tomorrow.” Minho waves the stack of forms dismissively. “Just give it to me by lunch tomorrow, I guess.”

“Wait.” Seungmin unrolls his pen holder, humming as he picks out a sign pen.

Minho frowns. “What are you-”

Seungmin signs the permission form quickly before holding it out to Minho. “Here.”

“No.” Minho doesn’t touch the paper. “I can’t take that.”

“They’ll never find out, trust me.” Seungmin shakes the paper at Minho. “Just-”

“I’m as big a supporter of Bad Bitch Behavior as the next guy, but… no.” Minho frowns at the paper like it’s just insulted him to his face. He slumps over in defeat when Seungmin tries to give him the paper again. “Fuck’s sake, Seungmin, just ask your parents-”

“I already did.” Seungmin says. “They said no.”

“B- But it’s the fucking _finals_!” Minho sputters. “We can’t go out there without you! The fuck is wrong with them?”

“They suddenly remembered I was supposed to be grounded.” Seungmin mutters. “Anyway, just take this, I’ll be there on Saturday morning, don’t worry.”

Minho takes the paper between two trembling fingers. “I can’t-”

Seungmin glares at him. Few people have the ability to shut Minho up, but it seems like Seungmin’s name is somewhere on that short list. _Definitely in the top 5, _Minho thinks, swallowing.

“Thanks, Captain.” Seungmin says, his expression softening so quickly that it scares Minho even more.

Minho tucks Seungmin’s permission slip somewhere in the middle of the stack. “Is something… going on at home?”

“Just the usual.”

“Okay.” Minho can relate, but not really. “See you at training later?”

Seungmin smiles at him. “See you.”

Felix leans against the lockers, his expression going through every color of discomfort while he listens to Changbin.

“But I can’t go. The competition’s this Saturday.” Felix asks, lowering his voice. There’s only one other guy in the hallway getting something from his locker, whom Felix only knows by face. _But you never know, not when Jisung and Hyunjoon are friends with half the school._

“I know.” Changbin says. His forehead wrinkles in frustration. “But I can’t think of any more good excuses.”

“Just tell them my parents didn’t let me go.” Felix says.

“Yeah, but _my_ parents wouldn’t not- They wouldn’t- It’s just not believable for _me_.” Changbin huffs exasperatedly.

“Wait.” Felix frowns. His final brain cell is having a hard time coping, and Changbin forgot to comb his hair before heading to school this morning and it’s the cutest thing Felix has seen, ever. “Why do _you_ need an excuse?”

Changbin’s frown clears up. He blinks blankly at Felix. “Because I’m going with you, not them.”

“Y- You’re _what_?” Felix feels his entire face heat up. He doesn’t know why he’s so embarrassed, when there’s only one other guy in the hallway and he isn’t even looking their way. Felix spins and faces the lockers.

“I’m going with you to your competition.”

_What do I say? If I tell him to go with the other guys then it’ll sound like I’m trying to get rid of him, but if I make him lie to the others again…_

“Felix?”

“Yeah I’m good.” Felix mumbles, face still planted in the lockers, which weirdly smell a little bit like cheese.

“You don’t look so good,” Changbin says. “I mean, for you. You look good, don’t worry.”

Felix resists the urge to laugh and cry at the same time. He slides down to sit on the tiled floor.

“Going with the others sounds fun,” Felix says. “Huge house for the weekend and no adults? Fun.”

“Coach Yoo and Coach Park will be there.”

“Like I said, no adults.” Felix looks up at Changbin, trying to figure out his expression. “Fun.”

“Sucks that we can’t go, then.” Changbin slides down against the lockers to sit next to Felix. “The competition’s just a couple of hours on Saturday. I guess we can go out for dinner afterwards.”

Felix sighs. _Time to be a Bad Guy™. _

“You don’t have to come with me to the competition,” Felix says.

“I know that.” Changbin says. “I just want to.”

“You can go with the other guys, it’s okay. I won’t feel bad about it,” Felix frowns at Changbin’s side profile. _A very difficult thing to do. _“I’m serious.”

Changbin turns to him, wearing a smirk for some reason. “You haven’t polished the routine yet, have you?”

“No, fuck you, we’re practically perfect at it.” Felix wrinkles his nose.

“Then why don’t you want me to come?” Changbin asks.

The school bell chimes down the hallway.

Felix turns away from Changbin. “Don’t you have a class?”

“Yeah, I do.” Changbin gives Felix’s hand a brief squeeze before jumping to his feet. “See you later.”

Felix stands up so quickly his knees buzz a little. “Oh, and I’m sorry but I can’t make it to training today-”

“I know.” Changbin gives Felix a broad wink before disappearing in the flood of students who’d just come lumbering out of their classes.

“Seungmin, could I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure, Coach.” Seungmin signals to Jeongin before tossing the baseball to him. He jogs over to Coach Yoo, who’s chewing her gum more anxiously than usual. “What’s up, Coach?”

“I don’t have your permission slip yet.”

“But I gave it yesterday…” Seungmin takes a moment to glare at Minho, who forgets to catch a ball. It hits him in the arm, but he doesn’t seem bothered by it.

“I don’t know, it wasn’t in the bunch Minho gave me.” Coach Yoo says. She shifts her gum to one cheek as she asks, “Are you having trouble getting your parents to sign it?”

Seungmin glares at Minho again, who seems bent on acting like he doesn’t notice Seungmin at all. “No. Can I have another copy of the permission slip, please?”

“Sure.”

Seungmin thanks her and tucks the paper into his duffel bag. The rest of the team are taking a water break by the dispenser, discussing the room assignments for the weekend so seriously you’d have thought someone’s life depended on it. Seungmin walks over with his water flask, placing it under the dispenser’s nozzle.

“Hold up,” Jeongin says, waving his canteen so violently some water sloshes out onto the dirt. “My mom said she’s coming. Where are we going to put her?”

“Your _mom_?”

“She’s worried we’re not going to be fed or some shit.” Jeongin grumbles. “There’s no stopping that woman, believe me, we’ve tried.”

Seungmin takes a sip of water while Jeongin begs their other teammates not to ‘trap him in the Coach Room with his mom’. Then he notices Minho standing off to one side, unusually silent.

Seungmin walks over to Minho. He lowers his voice to ask, “Why didn’t you give Coach Yoo my slip?”

Minho gives him an uneasy smile. He rests his jug on the nearest bench, taking a breath as if to say something to Seungmin. Then he spins on his heel and starts running away.

Seungmin rolls his eyes.

He drops his own flask and starts sprinting after Minho.

“Hey! Guys! You’re supposed to be taking a break!” Coach Yoo shouts, from where they’d left her far behind. “Minho! Stop messing around!”

Seungmin isn’t the best runner on the team for nothing. He catches Minho by the sleeve and drags him to a stop.

“I’m not about to go to jail for a fucking permission slip!” Minho huffs, squirming out of Seungmin’s grasp.

“They won’t send you to jail for something like that.” Seungmin says. “Nobody had to know-”

“Look, I know your parents ain’t shit, mine aren’t, either,” Minho says, both hands up in surrender. “But they at least need to know where the fuck you are. For legal reasons.”

Seungmin crosses his arms. “It’s almost like you don’t want me at the finals.”

“Oh my _god_.” Minho groans. “My _gooood_. What do you think, I don’t want to win? Of course I need you there.”

“My parents won’t let me go. I already told you this,” Seungmin rubs his temples. “There’s no convincing them. If you want me there at finals, we don’t have any other choice. Sorry.”

Minho leans against the nearest fence with a sigh. “No, I’m sorry. I don’t know what my conscience was doing last night.”

Seungmin frowns.

“I’ll tell Coach Yoo I found your permission slip.” Minho says.

Seungmin gives Minho a wan smile. “Thanks, Captain.”

Jinyoung shuts his laptop’s lid. He looks up at the clock on the wall. _4:30? Already?_

“Hey, Hyejin, have you had lunch?” He spins to look at the cubicle next to him, where the History teacher freezes in the middle of biting into a gummy worm.

“This is it.” Hyejin mumbles.

“Good god, Hyejin, you’re worse than the kids.”

Hyejin scrunches her nose as she slurps up the rest of the gummy worm. “I needed sugar, okay? These term papers are fucking with my _sanity_.”

“Watch your words, the vice principal’s behind you.”

Hyejin grimaces at Jinyoung. “Nice try, Jinyoung, that’s not going to w-”

“Good afternoon, Miss Ahn.” Vice Principal says, glancing at her stainless-steel timepiece.

Hyejin jumps clean out of her chair, throwing the gummy worm packet in her hands. “Vice Principal! I’m so sorry!”

Jinyoung’s body seems to remember that he’s a (retired) baseball player at that moment. He catches the gummy worms with his left hand.

The vice principal scowls at the shower of sour sugar that’s rained down on the carpet. “You’re not a child, Hyejin, you can’t keep eating like- Jinyoung, not you _too_.”

Jinyoung blinks innocently, cheeks stuffed with gummy worms.

The vice principal sighs. “I just came to remind you that you’re chaperoning the dance club this Saturday. Call time is 8 in the morning at the front steps.”

Hyejin nods eagerly. “Yes, ma’am, I already booked the train tickets in advance.”

“Good.” The vice principal turns to leave, but stops to frown at Jinyoung, who’s got half a gummy worm held between his teeth. “Please get some real food, you two.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Hyejin says. She and Jinyoung both nod respectfully when the vice principal leaves. Then she turns to him and punches him in the arm, snatching back what’s left of her lunch. “Get your own fucking-”

“Since when did we have a dance club?” Jinyoung frowns.

“Remember when VP Bae brought in those people to pay our debt?” Hyejin scowls at the lone gummy worm left in the packet. “She made a dance club, a drama club – You remember the ones dressed like fruits?”

Jinyoung makes a face. “They were supposed to be a drama club?”

“Anyway,” Hyejin says with a brief shudder. “The dance club is actually decent. I think they’ve got a good shot in their competition this Saturday.”

Jinyoung frowns.

“How do you not know about this? One of your kids is there,” Hyejin says, bending over her drawer as she digs through her papers for her hidden stash of candy. “Lee Felix.”

She straightens up triumphantly when she finds a rogue chocolate bar. Then she notices the look on Jinyoung’s face.

“You okay?” Hyejin asks as she peels the foil away. “You look like someone ran over your cat.”

She waits for him to correct her that it’s actually his little brother’s cat that Hyunjin shares with his best friend, who pays for all the cat’s expenses.

But he doesn’t.

“Lee Felix is in the dance club?” Jinyoung asks in this weird, flat, emotionless tone.

“Yeah, he’s basically their president. And choreographer. You should’ve seen their rehearsal yesterday,” Hyejin grins as she bites into the chocolate bar with no intentions of sharing. “They’re surprisingly good. I mean, considering this school… Jinyoung?”

Jinyoung sits down in his chair, looking like someone _really _ran over his brother’s shared cat. “Was this rehearsal… yesterday afternoon after class?”

“Yeah, why?”

Jinyoung stands up and heads for the door without answering the question.

Hyejin jumps when the door to the faculty room slams shut behind him. Then she takes a thoughtful bite of her chocolate bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jackson behind the scenes, @ having to sing The Goddamned Shrek Song for this chapter:  



	55. Case No. L5VE – Oh My Girl (song recommendation by Changbin)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Seungmin chapter because he deserves it.

_Friday night_

Mark opens the door and leans on the doorjamb. “Did you bring food?”

“Of course I did. I’m not an animal.” Jinyoung huffs, lifting the wooden box he’s carrying. There’s a six-pack of beer teetering unsteadily on top of the box. “I brought drinks, too.”

Mark smiles. “Is something wrong?”

“Yeah. One of my kids has been ditching us for the dance club.”

“Are they actually good at dancing?”

“Well, yeah, but...” Jinyoung slips out of his sneakers and stops in front of a suitcase parked by the shoe rack. “Are you going somewhere?”

“No.” Mark frowns at the suitcase.

“That’s mine,” Jimin says, locking her bedroom door behind her. She’s wearing a black bandage dress that would give one the idea that she’s either going clubbing, or to a very interesting funeral.

“Date?” Mark asks, unable to put together more than one word.

“Nah, some family shit. Her Majesty is being featured on some show so they need ‘the whole family’ there,” Jimin says, with heavy finger quotes. She lets out a dry chuckle. “Whatever, it’s free food and shit.”

“Wait.” Jinyoung frowns, his arms going slack. “Even Seungmin?”

Mark catches the six-pack of beer before it hits the floor.

Jimin narrows her eyes at Jinyoung. “What’s up with Seungmin?”

“It’s the national championship in Seoul this weekend.” Jinyoung says. “I’m chaperoning.”

“That’s why he’s leaving the cat with me,” Mark says, nodding to the cardboard box Jinyoung’s carrying. It lets out a meow, as if on cue.

“Shit.” Jimin leans back against the wall. “I _knew_ I was forgetting something important. Stupid fucking Jimin.”

Seungmin frowns, sidestepping a man down on all fours in the foyer. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay, Mr. Kim, I’m sorry.” The man says, scuttling off to one side. Seungmin notices he’s been tacking some wires down to the floor with green tape.

_What on earth…_

“Seungminnie! Did you just get here?” Seungmin’s mother sweeps in from the lounge, more made-up than usual. “Go have a shower, dear.”

“I already have.” Seungmin says, frowning down at his fresh t-shirt and shorts. He’s never gone home from training without taking a shower first. _But she wouldn’t remember that, would she?_

A man with a worryingly sparse moustache steps out of the lounge, which seems to be flooded with light. He gives Seungmin a big, gummy grin. “Is this your eldest son, Ms. Jang?”

“Yes, this is Seungminnie,” Seungmin’s mom puts an arm around Seungmin’s shoulder. “He looks just like me, doesn’t he, Director Lee?”

“If you cut your hair, you could be twins, Ms. Jang!”

Seungmin is seized with the sudden desire to vomit. _That would be a waste of the chicken Minho bought us a while ago. _“What’s going on?”

“We’re just going to film some things for a TV program,” Seungmin’s mom pats Seungmin on the arm almost tenderly. “If you could just do the pre-interview now-”

“How long is this going to take?” Seungmin frowns at the director, who starts telling the man taping wires on the ground to reroute them.

“They’ll only be here until Sunday afternoon, dear.”

Seungmin drops his duffel bag on the floor and glares at his mom. “_This_ is why you wouldn’t let me go to Seoul?”

“Family’s always more important than friends, Seungminnie.”

Seungmin’s hands curl into fists. “We’re talking about the national baseball championship here, not some party, _Ms. Jang_.”

The director and what Seungmin assumes to be a production assistant stop and look at them, eyes wide.

Seungmin’s mom’s face blanches under all her makeup.

For some reason, Seungmin doesn’t enjoy it. His shoulders sag as he says, “I’ll just put my things down in my room, then I’ll do the pre-interview.”

Seungmin’s mom lets out a relieved sigh. “Thank you, Seungmin.”

“How old are you?”

Seungmin frowns. _Surely they know that. “_Sixteen.”

“Hm.” The show’s producer frowns at one of the writers, who frowns at her laptop. The writer grimaces. “He couldn’t pass for ten, could he?”

“No, I don’t think so, sir.”

Seungmin frowns. He’s too tired to think about that, so he just takes it as a compliment.

“Ah, Seungmin,” The producer says, leaning on the tea table with what she must think is a warm smile. Seungmin knows better, but he smiles back anyway.

“Yes?”

“Could you, ah, it’s not that we want you to _lie_, per se, our program is a reality show at its heart so we try to show what’s real, but we’re a family-friendly program so…” The producer’s carefully drawn eyebrows furrow at the center of her forehead. “Ah…”

“Could you pretend to be Mr. Kim’s child with his previous wife for the weekend?” The writer says bluntly, earning a whack from the producer.

_Oh. I see. _Seungmin leans back in his seat, doing his best to stop himself from laughing.

“You don’t need to say anything,” The producer says, giving the writer a sharp look. “Just don’t say anything about your age or who your mother is.”

Seungmin taps one of his house slippers on the parqueted floor. “Surely your viewers will work it out on their own.”

The producer frowns.

“There’s nothing we can do, ma’am,” The writer sighs. “He looks just like Ms. Jang.”

_Ten years ago_

“He didn’t have any choice how he was brought into this world.” Seungmin overheard Auntie whispering to one of their neighbors. She hadn’t noticed him come into her store, since he’d made a beeline for the chest freezer.

Seungmin stops and basks in the cool breeze from the freezer.

“I’m not saying it’s _his _fault,” The neighbor replies, clicking her tongue. “It’s just that he’s going to have a hard time. Being like _that_.”

Seungmin pulls a popsicle out and shuts the freezer door.

He walks over and places the popsicle on Auntie’s counter. Both she and their other neighbor are staring at Seungmin with their mouths slightly open.

“S- Seungmin-ah, w- when did you arrive?” Auntie stammers out, straightening her apron all of a sudden.

Seungmin fishes out a handful of coins from his penguin-shaped sling bag, counting them on the countertop before sliding them to Auntie.

Auntie numbly drops the coins into her cash register.

“Thank you,” Seungmin mumbles inaudibly before taking his popsicle and unwrapping it.

He’s takes one bite out of it before he realizes that Auntie and the neighbor haven’t started talking to each other again.

_Oh. _Seungmin thinks as he takes another bite of his popsicle. _They must have been talking about me._

He gives them a respectful nod before turning to leave, so they can get back to talking about him in peace.

“Seungmin-ah, remind your mom to take out all her bottles before the man comes tomorrow morning to get them!” Auntie calls from behind him.

Seungmin nods, letting the door to the store swing shut behind him.

“It’s okay, he doesn’t understand any of this yet.” He overhears the neighbor say.

Seungmin tiptoes to unlock the apartment door.

His mom’s sitting by the window, which doesn’t open all the way. She has to tilt her head at a weird angle to puff the smoke from her cigarette out the window. “Oh, hello, Seungmin.”

“Hi.” Seungmin looks around the apartment as he hangs his bag on a low hook on the wall. The dishes aren’t piled up in the sink, and the floor is swept clean.

“Mr. Kim is coming for dinner, so you’ll stay with Auntie again tonight.” Seungmin’s mom says, as if reading his mind.

Seungmin nods and goes to the room to pack himself an overnight bag. One of his mom’s dresses is hanging outside the closet. It’s more lace than anything else.

Seungmin pushes it aside to reach in and pull out a change of clothes and set of pajamas for himself. He clips the bear-shaped cover on his dinosaur toothbrush and tucks it into the side pocket of his backpack, which is covered in little cartoon monkeys.

He comes out of the room and rests his backpack by the foot of the couch. Then he opens one of the kitchen cabinets and drags out the crate of empty bottles.

“Seungmin!” His mom shouts, still sitting by the window. “What are you doing? Don’t make a mess!”

Seungmin looks down pointedly at the crate, then points at the door. “Auntie said.”

Seungmin’s mom scoffs, crossing the room in three lazy strides. She squashes her cigarette stub on the kitchen counter before dragging the crate from Seungmin. “That old hag’s just being nosy.”

She opens the door to the apartment and tosses the crate out. It hits the pebble wash floor outside with a rather loud crash. A couple doors down the hallway open in concern. But Seungmin’s mom slams the door before anyone can say anything.

“They just want to know that Mr. Kim’s been here, since they know _I_ don’t drink,” Seungmin’s mom tosses her hair over one shoulder. “As if they don’t wait at their windows all day for his car to pull up.”

Seungmin doubts the neighbors are that bored, but he doesn’t bother arguing with her.

His mom narrows her eyes. “What has Auntie been saying about me?”

Seungmin shrugs.

_Present_

“Looks like there’s a party tonight,” The taxi driver says, as he rolls to a stop at the end of the block. “Sorry, miss, but I’m going to have to stop here.”

Jimin groans at all the cars and vans parked outside her dad’s house. _Who told you to wear heels, dumb bitch?_

“It’s okay, thank you so much anyway,” Jimin taps her dad’s extension card to pay for her ride. It’s petty and meaningless in the grand scheme of things, but it feels good.

Jimin drags her suitcase and its one broken wheel down the sidewalk. People are coming in and out of the house’s huge double doors, carrying all sorts of things. The glare of studio lights peeks between the front curtains, and muffled bass from music playing inside the house creeps out through the open doors. To anyone else, it might’ve been even a little exciting. But Jimin hasn’t been impressed by anything her stepmom has done since Seungmin was born.

“I’m sorry, miss, but-”

“I’m Mr. Kim’s daughter,” Jimin says, holding up the license she’s been holding in one hand fully expecting bullshit like this. She sighs when the security guy blinks at her blankly. “Uh, Ms. Jang’s daughter, too. Legally. I guess.”

“We’ll have to ask Ms. Jang-”

“Noona!”

Jimin beams. Seeing Seungmin always makes her feel better.

“Excuse me, I’m sorry,” Seungmin gives the security guy a quick bow before taking Jimin’s suitcase. “She’s my sister.”

“I see.” The security guy frowns. “Sorry for the trouble, Miss Kim.”

Jimin makes a face. “Eurgh, yeah, it’s fine.”

She follows Seungmin as he weaves through the mess of production crew setting up lights and cameras all over the house. Someone tries to stop them, as if to ask them something, but Seungmin hurries up the stairs before they can.

Seungmin lowers the suitcase gently on the floor of one of the guest rooms.

Jimin frowns. “What happened to my room?”

“It’s an extension of Mom’s closet now.” Seungmin says. “They had the wall torn down.”

“Jeez, she’s like a fucking caricature of herself.” Jimin flops onto the four-poster guest bed. _It’s not like I can complain about this room anyway. _She rolls over and grins at Seungmin, who’s perched on the ottoman while he switches the TV on. “What do you think of Her Majesty’s latest attempt at a comeback?”

“I’m giving it 20% chance of success.” Seungmin says.

“_Twenty _percent?” Jimin laughs. “That’s generous.”

“I think they’re giving up on keeping her story wholesome, so they’re going for the Successful Gold Digger angle for mass appeal.”

“Seungmin!” Jimin throws a pillow at him, but she’s laughing so hard that she misses. “You little shit!”

“Am I wrong, though?”

Jimin sits up to whack Seungmin with another pillow. “No, but you can’t just call your _mother_ that!”

Seungmin shrugs as he bends over to pluck the pillow of the carpet. “What am I supposed to call her?”

_Ten years ago_

Seungmin stands out of the way while Auntie hauls out the bedsheets for washing.

His mom pulls out her wallet, flipping through a hefty wad that hadn’t been there when she’d dropped Seungmin off at Auntie’s the night before.

“Anything else you need washed?” Auntie asks, stuffing the sheets into a large garbage bag. Her nose is scrunched up like she’s just eaten something sour.

“No, that’s all.” Seungmin’s mom hands her a stack of bills. “Here.”

Auntie ties the garbage bag up before frowning at the bills. “I don’t have any change-”

“Just take it all,” Seungmin’s mom rolls her eyes, flapping the bills at the older woman. “You’re not in any place to be refusing money, old woman.”

“You’re not in any place to be giving money away.” Auntie scowls.

Seungmin watches his mom’s mouth curl into an unkind smirk.

Auntie’s face falls into a frown. “What’s…”

“Seungminnie,” His mom says, though she never looks away from Auntie. “Go pack your things.”

Seungmin holds up his backpack. He hasn’t unpacked it since coming back from Auntie’s.

“No, Seungminnie, _silly_,” Seungmin’s mom says. “Pack everything. We’re leaving this dump.”

Auntie puts her hands on Seungmin’s shoulders, drawing him close to her. “Jihyun. What do you mean?”

Seungmin’s mom squats to give Seungmin a sweet smile. “Seungminnie, you remember when I brought you to Mr. Kim’s giant house?”

Seungmin has a vague recollection of a peach-colored building on a hill somewhere.

“You brought him _where_?” Auntie gasps. “And what did Mr. Kim’s wife think of that?”

Seungmin’s mom ignores her. “Well, Mr. Kim has sold that house and he’s building a newer, bigger one, out in the countryside. Do you want to live in the countryside, Seungmin?”

Seungmin frowns. “With the cows?”

“No,” Seungmin’s mom laughs. “Not with the _cows_, Seungminnie. Mr. Kim’s house is going to be clean.”

Auntie pulls Seungmin closer to her, wrapping her hands protectively over Seungmin’s chest. “Jihyun, what have you done?”

Seungmin’s mom smiles, patting Seungmin on one cheek. “Go pack your things, Seungmin. We leave tomorrow.”

She reaches into her pocket and holds some more bills out to Auntie.

“Jihyun, you already paid-”

“That’s for you to shut up about all this,” Seungmin’s mom says. “When the others ask, tell them I’ve found work in another city.”

Seungmin doesn’t remember whether they took the train or the bus or a car to Mr. Kim’s new house. He remembers seeing some cows gazing on a hill by the road, or the tracks, or wherever he was.

The house is big and white, and reminds him of the castle in one of his books, with the garden all around it full of low shrubs dotted with flowers.

Seungmin’s mom scrunches her nose at them. “There’s so much pollen out here.”

A maid leads them into the house, where a man is waiting for them. He seems shorter than Seungmin had thought, but it must be because the house is so big.

“Hello, darling,” He says, taking Seungmin’s mom in his arms. He kisses her deeply.

Seungmin looks down at the floor, frowning at his reflection in the marble. He doesn’t like the way his mom and Mr. Kim kiss. It’s not like the people in the movies, even though his mom _is_ The People In The Movies.

“Oh.” Seungmin’s mom pulls away from Mr. Kim with a disgruntled huff. She lowers her voice to whisper, “What’s _she_ doing here?”

Seungmin looks up to find a girl standing in the curved archway to the next room. She’s in that weird place where Seungmin doesn’t know whether to think of her as a _girl_ or as a _woman. _She seems to be right in the middle of both.

“I’d ask you the same question,” The girl says, hands curling into fists at her sides as she scowls at Seungmin’s mom. “You dirty _bitch_!”

Seungmin lifts both eyebrows. He’s heard his mom call other people that often, but no one’s said it back to her, as far as he knows. He looks at his mom for her reaction.

“Seungmin.” Mr. Kim says before Seungmin’s mom can even open her mouth. “This is your older sister, Jimin.”

Jimin doesn’t even look at Seungmin. She’s still glaring at Seungmin’s mom. “Stop looking at me like that. I’m here to stay, you _whore_.”

Seungmin’s eyebrows go up again. _That’s a new word._

_Present_

“How old are you, Miss Kim?”

“26. And my name’s _Park_ Jimin.”

The producer grimaces. “Ah, well, for the purposes of this show, we don’t want the viewers to be confused, so…”

“Fine.” Jimin crosses her arms. “What are we going to do? Play stupid games? Sit around a bonfire and talk about our feelings? _Cook_? You know Her Majesty Jang Jihyun doesn’t cook, right?”

The producer turns to frown at the writer, who stops taking notes just then. “No,” She says slowly. “We’re just going to follow a day in your family’s daily life.”

Jimin laughs. “Good luck editing hours and hours of people ignoring each other all day.”

The writer coughs pointedly to cover up a chuckle.

“You talk much more than the younger ones, don’t you?” The producer groans.

“I’d like to think I talk enough for the five of us.” Jimin leans back in her seat. She’s always liked the chairs in the tearoom. She used to take her meals in here when her stepmom would get too annoying. “Why? Too much to edit out?”

“No, it’s good to have someone talking. We don’t want dead air.” The producer says. “But ah, for the program, it’d be nice if you could avoid mentioning your mother-”

“I have to pretend _Her_ _Majesty_ is my real mom?” Jimin chokes on her own spit.

“No.” The producer frowns at the writer again, because the latter’s started chuckling despite herself. “Please don’t call her that. Ms. Jang will do.”

“Unlike you guys, I’m not her bitch,” Jimin crosses her legs. “I’ll call her whatever the fuck I want.”

“Just one more question, Miss Kim.” The producer says. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

Jimin frowns.

The producer folds her hands on the table with a triumphant grin on her face. “No boyfriend?”

Jimin crosses her arms. “Not for lack of trying.” She mutters.

The producer lets out a humorless chuckle. “I think it’s rather sad for Ms. Jang’s beautiful elder daughter to be single at 26, don’t you?”

The writer nods like her financial stability depends on it. Jimin sighs. _It probably does._

“How would you like for us to say you’re seeing someone?” The producer says. “Just for the show?”

“Screw you.” Jimin says. “I’ll call her _Mom_, if it makes you happy.”

The producer smiles. “Thank you, Miss Kim.”

_Ten years ago_

Seungmin sits up on his feet to peek out the car window. All the high school students lumber around like zombies as they leave the school’s front doors in a very slow, steady trickle.

He smiles when he sees Jimin stomping down the front steps in her chunky platform shoes. He smiles and waves.

She doesn’t see him, because she’s too busy talking to some guy. Seungmin doesn’t see his face well from where he is, but he sees _hers_. His sister’s grinning from ear to ear, cheeks pushing her eyes into happy little crescents.

“Jinyoung!” Another guy calls out from the bottom of the steps. “Coach Park’s gonna be fucking pissed if we’re late again!”

The guy Jimin’s talking to turns. “Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute, dude!” He shouts back.

_Ah, _Seungmin thinks. _So _that’s_ noona’s friend Jinyoung. _He feels something like relief at being able to put a face to his sister’s stories.

Jinyoung puts an arm around Jimin, squeezing her shoulders in something like a lazy hug. He says something Seungmin doesn’t hear.

Jimin says something else that Seungmin doesn’t hear, but it must be funny, because Jinyoung laughs so hard he buckles over.

“You’re going to fall, stupid!” Jimin says, whacking him on the arm.

“Hey, I need that!” Jinyoung pouts. When Jimin gives him a disgusted look, he laughs and adjusts the duffel bag on his shoulder. “See ya, Jimmy!”

“Bye!” Jimin looks annoyed as she waves him off, but Seungmin knows she’s only pretending.

She’s still smiling when she climbs into the backseat next to Seungmin. “Sorry for keeping you guys waiting. My last class went overtime.”

The chauffeur waves a hand dismissively. “It’s fine, Miss Park. Shall we go home?”

“Yes _please_,” Jimin kicks her shoes off and props her feet up on the armrest in the middle of the car. She turns to Seungmin, her cheeks flushed like she’s just run around the school a couple of times. “How was your day, Seungmin?”

“Okay.” Seungmin shrugs.

“What’d you guys talk about?”

Seungmin thinks for a minute. Then he remembers something Jimin would find funny. “Where babies come from.”

Jimin had been taking a sip from her tumbler, which was always full of coffee. She chokes and sputters all over the front of the school blouse. “Shit.”

The chauffeur takes one hand off the wheel to offer Jimin a wad of tissues.

“Oh, thanks, Mr. Bong,” Jimin laughs, dabbing at her stained shirt. She flicks Seungmin lightly on the arm. “_God_, Seungmin, warn a bitch before dropping something like that.”

“Sorry.”

“Well, what’d poor Teacher Lee say about where babies come from?”

“She said that when your Mommy and Daddy love each other very much,” Seungmin says, basking in the smirk spreading across his older sister’s face. “The heavens gift them with a baby.”

Jimin chortles, slapping her knees. She wipes one tear from one eye. “You know that’s bullshit, right, Seungmin?”

“Yeah.” Seungmin says, hurt that she would even _think_ otherwise. “Babies come when adults have a lot of sex. Like how our baby brother happened.”

That seems to sober Jimin up. She lets out a tired sigh, reaching across to ruffle Seungmin’s hair. “I’m so sorry you know that, Seungmin.”

“Why?” Seungmin frowns. _It’s the truth. Wouldn’t she feel bad if I _didn’t_ know the truth?_

“Forget it.” Jimin says, shaking her head. “You wanna know why I was so late today?”

“Okay.”

“Our last class was Biology, and we were dissecting frogs today,” Jimin grins again when she sees Seungmin pout. “Oh come on, Seungmin, they were anesthetized so they didn’t feel anything.”

“You still killed them.”

Jimin sighs. “My story’s actually quite funny if you can just get past the whole Frog Murderer thing.”

“Okay.” Seungmin frowns, holding his face steady as he nods. “Go on.”

“So the teacher let us choose partners – dumbest thing ever – so obviously Jinyoung and I weren’t picked by anyone else,” Jimin says. “So there we were looking at the poor thing – I _did_ feel bad, okay, it looked so sad pinned to the table like-”

“_Pinned_?” Seungmin asks, mouth agape in horror.

Jimin sighs. “You know what, never mind.”

Seungmin takes a deep breath and folds his hands in his lap. “I’m sorry, go on.”

“Forget it. Long story short Jinyoung sat on frog eggs. There.” Jimin groans when she sees Seungmin’s expression. “They weren’t _fertilized_, Seungmin, there were no frog babies in them. They’re like the eggs you have for breakfast.”

“Oh.” Seungmin nods, still feeling a little lightheaded just imagining the frog with its body cut open for the eggs to spill out. “Good.”

_Present_

Seungmin looks up when his bedroom door opens.

His shoulders sag with relief when he finds it’s just his sister, carrying two plates loaded with food from the caterer.

“You didn’t have to be here, noona.” Seungmin says. “You could’ve just ignored them.”

“I came for the food.” Jimin says, wiggling the plates she’s holding. “Mark’s a shit cook but he keeps fucking _trying_, so it’d be rude not to eat whatever the hell he makes.”

Seungmin grins as he walks back to his desk to pick up the book he’d been reading.

Jimin chews pensively on the buffalo wing she’s holding. She looks around Seungmin’s room. It doesn’t take long, because it’s that clean. “Where’s your bag?”

“Bag?”

“You can’t go to Seoul for a weekend and not bring any extra clothes, dummy.”

Seungmin doesn’t look up from his book. “It’s under the bed.”

Jimin sighs and leans back against the wall. “How are you planning to get out?”

“Getting out isn’t the problem.” Seungmin flips a page. “Getting to the train station before they can stop me is the problem. Shooting resumes at 6:30 tomorrow, so they’ll all be awake already.”

Jimin gnaws the bone clean before dropping it back on the edge of her plate. “I was uh… talking to Jinyoung a while ago.”

Seungmin frowns at her.

“He came by to leave the cat with Mark, okay.” Jimin says, putting her sauce-stained hands up in surrender. “Anyway Jinyoung said they’ll come by at around 7:15 tomorrow morning to pick you up.”

“Tell him to call it off.” Seungmin says, still frowning at his book. “Mom and Dad’ll probably accuse him of kidnapping when they find out. They’ll have him arrested, or worse.”

Jimin sits on the ottoman at the food of Seungmin’s bed with an uneasy expression. “Shit. You’re probably right.”

_Of course I am. _Seungmin closes his book. “Tell him now, please.”

“But how will you-”

“I’ll figure it out on my own.” Seungmin says, more sharply than he’d meant to. “Please tell Jinyoung now.”

_Nine years ago_

“Hey Seungmin, whatcha doing?”

Seungmin puts his crayon down and looks up. His sister’s standing in the doorway, her eyes red and puffy from crying.

Seungmin frowns. _Did Mom fight her again?_

“No, it wasn’t her this time.” Jimin says, sitting on the floor next to him. She picks up a tan crayon and starts filling in the river on the next page.

Seungmin lowers his head and resumes coloring the penguin on his page.

“I fought with Jinyoung today.”

Seungmin looks up at her with his eyes wide. He hopes he doesn’t look _too_ judgmental.

“I don’t _always_ fight with him,” Jimin says defensively, one stroke of tan going past the border of the river. “Dammit.”

Seungmin hands her his crayon eraser.

“Oh wow, I didn’t know these existed,” Jimin says, scrubbing out the extra line outside the river. She places the eraser on the floor between them. “Thanks.”

Seungmin nods and picks up a yellow-orange crayon for the penguin’s beak.

Jimin lets out a frustrated sigh. “He’s so annoying. He thinks he’s such hot shit. He’s not even _that_ hot. And his ears are funny. And he’s not even _that_ smart, but like, he’s not stupid. I don’t see why he can’t get a fucking clue, and it’s getting so awkward because _literally _all of our other friends know except him…”

Seungmin’s finished coloring the entire penguin by the time she stops talking.

Jimin puts her crayon down. She’s just painted a tree ocean blue. “I don’t know why I like him.”

“Then stop.” Seungmin suggests.

She laughs. “I wish it were that simple.”

Seungmin frowns. “If you don’t want to do something anymore, nobody can make you do it. You’re the one who said that.”

“This is different,” Jimin picks up a lime green crayon and starts coloring in the grinning sun. “Nobody’s _making_ me like him. I just do. I like him so much, Seungmin. I just want to be with him all the time and I want him to like me back, and maybe hold me? That wouldn’t be so bad.”

Seungmin puts his crayon down. His older sister’s one of the most intelligent people he knows, next to Einstein probably. _What’s happening to her?_

“I’m sorry, you didn’t need to hear all this,” Jimin ruffles Seungmin’s hair. “But it’s like, _messing_ with my brain, Seungmin. Like there’s a worm inside and it’s making me act dumb around him. Oh god, I just want a boy to like me back. _One _boy! Is that so bad?”

“He likes you back.” Seungmin says.

Jimin stares at him. “Who told you that?”

“He wouldn’t hang out with you so much if he didn’t.”

Jimin starts laughing. She laughs so hard she rolls around on the floor of Seungmin’s room until Seungmin stops her with one hand, his tiny face wrinkled in deep concern for her sanity.

“Of course he likes me _that_ much,” Jimin says. “But I want him to _like_ like me. Like – ew god forbid – I want him to kiss me, Seungmin. Oh god, sorry. I’m so gross. I’m so sorry.”

Seungmin shakes his head. He’s not grossed out, because he figures that whatever Jimin wants can’t be the same as what his mom wants, even though it’s sounding the same to him.

He pats Jimin on the shoulder. “I um,” Seungmin clears his throat, which had gotten stuck up with something. “I hope that Jinyoung-hyung _like-likes_ you.”

Jimin starts rolling around on the floor again, laughing uncontrollably.

Seungmin tosses the beach ball to Jimin, but she doesn’t lift a hand to catch it. It bounces off her stomach, but she doesn’t seem bothered. She’s too busy frowning at something.

Seungmin looks out of the pool. His mom’s just come out of the house, wearing nothing but sunglasses, flip-flops, and a set of strategically-placed triangles held together with strings.

Seungmin and Jimin’s dad sits up in his lawn chair when he sees her. “You look _gorgeous_, darling.”

Seungmin’s mom giggles, blushing on cue as she sits at the edge of his chair. “Aw, you think so?”

Jimin makes a gagging noise so loud it makes Seungmin smile.

If their parents heard it, they ignore it. Seungmin looks away, because his dad’s hands have started wandering again.

“I’m tired of swimming.” Jimin says. “Let’s just watch a movie.”

“Okay.”

Seungmin knocks on the door to his sister’s room after his shower. She told him to come in, but he finds her still in her swimsuit, frowning at herself in her full-length mirror.

“You haven’t taken a shower yet, noona?” Seungmin asks.

Jimin turns around, still frowning at her reflection. “Did I ever tell you.”

Seungmin waits for her continue, but he’s made himself comfortable in her desk chair and picked up one of her books, and she still hasn’t said anything else.

“Noona?”

“Huh?”

“You were gonna say something.”

“Was I?” Jimin blinks hard at her reflection. She’s dried off completely by now, but a drop of water trickles down the side of her face.

Seungmin frowns. “Noona?”

“I always say I’m going to start dieting, but I know it’s never going to happen.”

“You don’t need to diet.”

“What is the _point_,” Jimin groans, sitting on her rug with a loud groan. She slouches and pinches the rolls in her swimsuit. “Of me playing tennis every other day but _still_ being too damn fat?”

“You’re not too fat.”

She gives Seungmin a wan smile. “Nice to know one person in the world thinks so.”

“You really aren’t.” Seungmin says. “Did someone tell you that you were?”

“No, no one did, don’t worry. I’d have beat the shit out of them if they did, like, to my face,” Jimin laughs for a moment. Then she looks at herself in the mirror again. “I kinda wish they would just say it out loud. Makes it easier to hate them.”

Seungmin puts the book and walks over, sitting next to her on the rug. He looks into the mirror. All he sees is his himself, hair still flat from a bath, and his sister in a dark blue, dried-out swimsuit. But he knows Jimin and other people see a lot more than he does when they look into mirrors.

“Did I ever tell you about Im Nayeon?”

Seungmin runs through his mental list of Jimin’s friends. He’s never heard of this person. “No.”

“She’s a year above me in school. Really pretty. And skinny.” Jimin’s looking in the mirror again. “Like your mom.”

Seungmin knows objectively that his mom is considered pretty by most people, but just comparing anyone to her makes him dislike that person immediately. _Sorry, Im Nayeon, whoever you are._

“She’s Jinyoung’s girlfriend.” Jimin sighs.

Seungmin sits up indignantly. _No, I’m not sorry, Im Nayeon, whoever you are. _“Since when?”

“Last week, apparently.” Jimin rolls her eyes. “Dumbass makes out with her _once_ at a party and suddenly they’re a _thing_. What’s up with _that_?”

Seungmin purses his lips.

“But anyway, your stupid sister didn’t know, because she wasn’t at that party,” Jimin leans against the wall, hugging her knees. “So she went and told Jinyoung the next day that she liked him. So now everything’s awkward and weird and we’re not talking to each other.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” Jimin pats Seungmin on the back. “It’s just the way the world works. Women like me and my mom will always lose to women like Im Nayeon and your mom.”

Seungmin’s stomach churns. He doesn’t like thinking of Jimin’s mom. He’s never met her, because his dad had thrown her out long before he’d taken Seungmin and his mom in.

Jimin laughs at herself. “Look at me being so dramatic. It’s not like Jinyoung and I were married.” She shakes her head. “Sometimes I think about what Dad did to Mama, and I just… Men are the fucking _worst_.”

Seungmin nods.

Jimin laughs again, ruffling his damp hair. “Okay, maybe there’s _one_ exception.”

_Present_

“What do you _mean_ he’ll figure it out?”

Hyunjin zips his bag up and peeks out of his room. His brother’s in the hallway, yelling at his phone. That happens pretty often, but Hyunjin just checks in on him every time just the same.

“Your place is half an hour away – Okay, _fine_, your _dad_’s place is half an hour away from the train station. And that’s _driving_! God knows how long it’ll take him walking!”

“Hyung,” Hyunjin says gently, leaning on the doorframe.

Jinyoung covers his phone mic with one hand and turns to Hyunjin. “Yeah? What is it?”

“Is that Seungmin’s sister?”

Jinyoung rolls his eyes. “Yes, and she won’t-”

“Can I talk to her?”

Jinyoung frowns at him for a moment, then he hands the phone without saying anything. Hyunjin thanks him with a nod before holding the phone to his ear.

“-don’t you dare fucking try me, Park Jinyoung, I have so many fucking receipts on your ass, I-”

“Jimin-noona,” Hyunjin says.

The other end of the line falls silent. Then Seungmin’s sister clears her throat. “Hi, Hyunjin, sorry you had to get that, but please forward my sentiments to that oaf you unfortunately share parents with.”

“Okay, will do. Is Seungmin there with you?” Hyunjin asks.

“No.” Seungmin’s sister says. “Why?”

“Good.” Hyunjin says. “Can I ask for a, uh, favor?”

“Uh, sure. What?”

_Over one year ago_

A ball hits Seungmin on the shoulder. It would’ve hit him in the back of his neck, but he’d heard it and tried dodging at the last second.

“Hey!” His throw-and-catch partner, Joonyoung, yells as he picks up the ball. “Watch where you’re throwing!”

“Sorry!”

“Fucking Weevils,” Joonyoung mutters, throwing the ball over Seungmin’s head.

The ball hits a glove with a loud slap.

Seungmin turns around. Joonyoung’s aim is unreliable, _especially_ when he’s pissed off. And since he and the other guys have been pissed off since the night before, Seungmin’s basically been playing fetch with Joonyoung (Seungmin being the dog).

And yet, the Weevil who’d hit Seungmin has the ball firmly in his glove while he bows repeatedly, with all the regularity of an oscillating electric fan. “Oh my gosh I’m so sorry! Are you okay?”

Seungmin’s shoulder feels like there’s probably a pretty ugly bruise forming under his shirt, but he shrugs and says, “Yeah.”

The Weevil pouts anyway. “Sorry.”

Seungmin means to tell him it’s fine, really, but the words get delayed somewhere in the process of climbing out of Seungmin’s mouth.

It’s because Seungmin’s just noticed that the Weevil who had hit him in the shoulder is very cute.

“Can’t believe we have to share even the tables with _them_.”

Seungmin spoons rice into his mouth, looking across the too-narrow patch of grass separating the Bears from the Weevils, who have not shut up for more than a second since they'd started eating dinner. None of the Bears are daring to raise their voices even just a little, not since their captain got demoted to Team B.

Minho squeezes into the space at the end of Seungmin’s bench, which was in no way enough for an entire Minho.

He wiggles his butt, shoving Seungmin and the other four boys on the bench sliding in the opposite direction. The boy at the very end falls onto the grass with a loud grunt.

“Oops, sorry.” Minho snickers, before digging into his dinner without an ounce of guilt.

Joonyoung frowns at him. “Where did you come from?”

Minho just shrugs, stuffing his mouth with rice like he hasn’t eaten in a week.

“He’s been messing around with one of the Weevils.” Hyungseo mutters.

Minho doesn’t say anything, but the corners of his stuffed mouth turn up in amusement.

“Ew, Minho, a Weevil? _Really_?” The other boys groan, but Seungmin just makes a face. Minho can do whatever he wants. Seungmin just doesn’t want to know.

Seungmin looks at the Weevils’ table. Three of them seem to be trying to tell the same story at once, or maybe three different stories, Seungmin can’t tell. Either way, it’s not making any sense to him.

One of the Weevils doesn’t seem to be following, too. He’s sitting at the far end of the table, frowning down at his dinner like he’s giving it a talking to.

_Oh, it’s him. The cute one. _

“Seungmin. Hellooooo?” Minho waves a hand in front of Seungmin’s face.

Seungmin jerks backward, frowning at him. “What is it?”

“Do you think Coach Park was serious? About demoting Younghoon?”

“Well,” Seungmin says. “Even if he wasn’t then, there were so many people around to hear that he won’t go back on it now.”

“Damn, you’re right.”

Seungmin sighs. He knows he is.

“Hey, Minho?” Seungmin asks quietly, as casually as he can.

Minho stops sipping his water. “Hm?”

“You know the Weevils, right?”

“Most of them, why?”

“Who’s that guy over there?” Seungmin waves a hand vaguely in the direction of The Cute Weevil.

“Who?” Minho squints at the table across them. He’s squinting for so long that Seungmin has half a mind to just give his glasses to Minho.

Seungmin waves his hand again, but it’s closer to pointing this time. He pokes a finger in the air, directly at him, The Cute Weevil Who Gave Seungmin a Bruise On His Shoulder.

“Oh, the guy who hit you a while ago?” Joonyoung asks. “Piece of shit.”

Seungmin feels his face grow hot. He’s glad they’re eating outside after the sun’s set, because no one seems to notice.

“Did he? Do I need to beat the shit out of _him_?” Minho stands up. “Point him out. Where is-”

“Sit down, gosh.” Seungmin tugs Minho back down onto the chair, covering his face with one hand in shame. He points again, keeping his hand low and close to the table in the hopes that He, The Cute Weevil Who May Be in Danger of Bodily Harm Courtesy of Lee Minho_, _doesn’t notice. “Who is he?”

“Oh, that’s their coach’s younger brother.” Minho says. “He’s pretty weird from what I hear.”

Seungmin frowns. “How so?”

“Did he get a punch in awhile ago? I thought you didn’t join the fucking fight, Seungmin. Are you hurt?” Minho frowns, giving Seungmin a pat-down all over with his eyes. “Just say the word and I’ll fucking beat his ass, I swear-”

“I’m fine.” Seungmin looks up and finds the Cute Weevil gone. _Where did he go?_

“Why is it that whenever you get back from training camp, your clothes smell like straight-up _shit?_” Jimin laughs, using just her thumb and index finger to pluck Seungmin’s clothes out of the bag and toss them into the washing machine. “What do you guys even _do_ there?”

She picks up one of the jackets.

Seungmin stops tipping detergent into the machine, because his sister’s giving him a weird look. “What?”

Jimin grins, wagging the jacket at him. “This is _not_ yours.”

Seungmin stares at it for a moment. It’s a waterproof windbreaker with a mint green body,s baby pink sleeves, and a lemon yellow hood. _Damn right it’s not mine. _

Then he remembers and snatches it from his sister, tossing it into the washing machine, hoping the latter swallows it for good. “Someone lent it to me.”

“Someone lent you a jacket?” Jimin says, as she picks up Seungmin’s bag to dump the rest of his socks and things into the wash. “That’s cute.”

“Yeah, he is.” _And kind. And caring. And gentle with kittens._

Jimin slams the door to the washing machine shut. “Excuse me?” She turns to Seungmin, grinning from ear to ear.

“What?” Seungmin takes a few cautious steps away from her.

“Kim Seungmin, do you actually find another human being _attractive_?” Jimin lets out a loud, theatrical gasp. “Oh my god, I thought I’d never see the day-”

Seungmin presses the Start button on the washing machine. The loud gurgling of water filling the machine is very, very welcome.

“It’s not about attractiveness or anything,” Seungmin says, getting up to go lock himself in his room where she can’t bother him. “I’m just stating facts. He’s cute. That’s all.”

Jimin keeps grinning up at him like a fool. “Oh, _sure_, you’re just stating facts. I’ve got a question for you, O Objective One.”

Seungmin’s already turned to head down the short hallway of their apartment, shaking his head. “I can’t hear you, sorry.”

“Would you say that you have a crush on said cute guy?” Jimin yells after him. “Is that a fact?”

_A year ago_

“Why didn’t you tell us Jang Jihyun was your mother?”

Seungmin ignores Coach Park and keeps tossing his baseball from one hand to another, watching four men hang a tarpaulin banner from one of the stadium’s lower balconies. It reads, _Good luck to the S______ High School Baseball Team! Make us proud! Love, Proud Mom Jang Jihyun. _A picture of Seungmin’s mom from her last drama smiles in the corner. It doesn’t matter that the photo is probably older than Seungmin. She doesn’t look very different from what she does now, sitting in the shaded part of the stadium, wearing large sunglasses and a bored scowl.

Seungmin would have to be blind to see how they’ve tied the banner in the direct view of the TV cameras. He knows, of course, that his mom’s been trying to make a comeback again, now that there’s only a slim possibility of an unplanned pregnancy getting in the way.

_But this is pretty desperate, even for her._

Seungmin’s mom had gotten pregnant with the first of the younger siblings when he was seven. It was the first time he’d ever seen an adult throw a tantrum.

_“Jeez, woman,” Jimin had said, rolling her eyes as another set of supposedly irreplaceable teacups hit the floor with a crash. “Just stop having sex.”_

Seungmin had been banned from watching TV for a week for just laughing. He smiles again, now.

“Disgusting, isn’t it?”

Seungmin turns to find Jimin next to him, carrying an armful of snacks. “I thought you had an exam, noona.”

“Yeah, if you’re not finished in two hours I’m leaving anyway to catch the train home,” Jimin says, planting herself on the nearest seat. “Why did you tell Her Majesty about the championship anyway?”

“She had to sign the permission slip.” Seungmin says. “Then she got ideas.”

“Always a bad thing,” Jimin takes a long, thoughtful sip of her soda. “Listen, Seungmin, I know you’re the best baseball player in history and all that-”

“Noona.” Seungmin laughs.

“-But can you lose?” Jimin says. “Imagine how humiliated _she’d_ be.”

Seungmin smiles at the idea. Then he steals a bite of his sister’s corn dog. “I can’t do that to the other guys, noona.”

“Yeah, well, I figured.” Jimin sighs. “Go out there and win and stuff.”

Seungmin returns the corn dog. “You’re not going to root for your own alma mater?”

Jimin looks at the other side of the stadium, where some people have gone through the effort of making _GO WEEVILS_ banners. “Ah, no, fuck them. They’re gonna lose.”

“Noona.”

“What? They don’t have a Kim Seungmin on their team.”

_Present (Saturday morning)_

_No no no no. _

_Not Kim Seungmin._

_ANYONE but Kim Seungmin._

Minho chews on his lip. He’s starting to taste blood, but he doesn’t care. He keeps mentally counting the bobbing heads of his teammates as they mill about the station’s waiting area, ignoring the Weevils sitting among them. _Fuuuuck_.

“Are we complete?” Coach Yoo asks, already getting started on her morning chewing gum.

“Seungmin’s missing.”

“Shit. Have you tried contacting him?”

“He’s not answering his phone.”

Coach Yoo eyes flutter shut like she’s getting possessed. “Shit.”

“This is probably the wrong time to say this,” Minho says as slowly and gently as he can. “But uh, his parents didn’t give him permission to go to Seoul for the finals.”

Coach Yoo’s eyes shoot open to glare at Minho. “But we’re complete on the permission slips.”

“Uh…” Minho scuffs a sneaker against one of the platform’s cracked tiles. “About that…”

“Lee Minho.”

“Seungmin forged the signatures.” Minho ducks out of the way instinctively when Coach Yoo throws her hands in the air. “I tried to stop him! I knew you could go to jail-”

“Forget jail! We’re going to lose the fucking championship!”

“We have way more than enough members for-”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Lee Minho, I know you got into some snotty premed,” Coach Yoo wags a finger at Minho. “You _know_ we need Seungmin.”

A pleasant voice over the station’s muffled PA systems announces that the next train to Seoul is arriving in less than five minutes.

Minho feels like this would be a good time to pass out. Not a convenient time, but the perfect time. But he’s got the constitution of a regular adult bull, so he stays on his feet despite his best efforts to be dramatic.

“Uh, Coach Yoo?” Jeongin’s mom asks in a tiny voice.

“Coach.” Minho says, shaking their coach by the arm. It’s no use. Coach Yoo just stares out at the view of the city below from the platform. “Coach. Yoo. Earth to Yoo Jungyeon.”

Minho slaps her on the arm.

“Y- Yeah?” Coach Yoo blinks.

“Oh dear, Minho, that wasn’t nice.” Jeongin’s mom grips the handle of her suitcase with an upset look on her face. “Coach Yoo, wasn’t there supposed to be some other coach coming with us? To watch the kids?”

Minho looks back over the platform’s waiting area. _Random old couple, shit-ton of Weevils, sketchy old guy, other bunch of people I don’t give a fuck about, teammate #1, teammate #2, teammate #3… No Coach Park or Hyunjin. Shit._

The train comes to a gentle stop at the station.

The voice over the PA announces that passengers bound for Seoul may now board the train.

Coach Yoo leans against the nearest pillar like her knees have failed her. “Minho, if I die, you’re promoted to Coach.”

“Please don’t die, Coach, I hate responsibility.”

_Several months ago_

Seungmin’s invited a total of ten people to volunteer with him at the animal shelter at this point. Four said they were sorry they couldn’t make it for Some Reason, five said they would come volunteer, but never actually showed up, and one, just one of them, was Park Hyunjin.

“Ow, gosh, what are you doing, silly,” Hyunjin murmurs, trying to pull his finger free from the kitten that’s just chomped down on it. “Stop, I’m not food, stop that.”

Seungmin smiles, before looking down self-consciously at the kitten in his lap. _You should be used to that by now. Just Hyunjin being Hyunjin. _

“Aaagghhh Minnie he thinks I’m a sauuuusage,” Hyunjin whines, trying to tug his finger away, but the kitten comes with it.

“Well, I don’t really blame him,” Seungmin laughs, tickling the kitten’s nose until he lets go. “Your fingers look a little bit sasusage-y.”

He finds Hyunjin pouting up at him. “Take it back.”

Seungmin laughs. “Come on, let’s get you a band aid.”

They’re sitting in the shelter’s office, with their knees brushing against each other and foreheads knocked together while Seungmin dabs a bit of ointment on Hyunjin’s scratched-up finger.

Hyunjin’s a hell of a mouth-breather, so much so that Seungmin feels his warm, heavy breaths brush against his face and neck from this close.

Seungmin wonders – just for a second – what it would be like to kiss Hyunjin.

_Would I even like it?_

Then the second’s over and Hyunjin’s finger is safely wrapped in a band-aid and Seungmin’s intrusive thoughts are safely back to wherever they came from.

“Thanks.” Hyunjin says, close enough to Seungmin that his breath ruffles Seungmin’s hair. “Oops, sorry.”

“Ew.” Seungmin grins, kicking off Hyunjin’s feet to roll away in his chair.

_A few months ago _

“You still alive?”

Seungmin prods his sister on the back with one finger. She’s sitting on the floor, slumped over the coffee table. An electric fan is blowing her notes around the room.

“Noona.” Seungmin pokes Jimin again.

“Mmgh?” Jimin sits up so suddenly it surprises him. She rubs her eyes. “Fuck, what time is it?”

Seungmin looks at his watch. “8:30.”

“Oh, it’s still early!” Jimin lifts both eyebrows, pleasantly surprised. “Did you just get here?”

“Yeah.”

Jimin picks up the nearest throw pillow and tosses it at Seungmin. “Where have you been! It’s _late_!”

“You just said it was early-”

“For reviewing, yeah!” Jimin whacks her open textbook. “Not for cute little teen brothers to be walking around!”

Seungmin snorts.

Jimin lifts the textbook with one hand, then groans and thinks twice about throwing it. “What the hell took you so long?”

“There was a lot of work to do at the shelter,” Seungmin says. “And Hyunjin wasn’t around.”

“Oh?”

Seungmin doesn’t like the way she says that. “Have you had dinner?” He asks, turning to the kitchen.

“No, I’ll make some for both of us,” Jimin lets out a loud groan like an old tree snapping in half as she stands up. She smacks herself on the back a few times. “God, my _back_.”

“Take it easy, grandma.”

“Shut up.” Jimin laughs as she starts rifling through the pantry for random ingredients. “Why couldn’t Hyunjin make it?”

“He was at a party.” _He might still be there, _Seungmin thinks. _It’s pretty early, he’s probably still there._

“Hyunjin parties?” Jimin stops pulling a half-empty box of pasta out of the pantry. She turns to Seungmin with a concerned look he also doesn’t like.

“No, he’s just been to a few.” Seungmin reaches over her head to pull the box out for her. “It’s not not allowed.”

Jimin lets out a noncommittal hum as she takes the box from him.

Seungmin feels very stupid for saying something so pre-school like ‘not not allowed’. He clears this throat and adds, “It’s not a bad thing.”

“I know, he just doesn’t seem like the type.”

_No, _Seungmin agrees. _He doesn’t. _

_A little over a month ago_

Seungmin hasn’t checked his Instagram account since the shelter was closed down. Without the animals, he has nothing else to post on it, anyway.

But Minho just sent him the weirdest text, and Seungmin has nothing better to do at 1 in the morning.

He opens his Instagram, instantly assaulted with notifications from the past couple of months he hasn’t been checking.

_Whose account did he say to check again?_

Seungmin rolls over in bed. Finally, he’s starting to get sleepy. _It just took Minho telling me to do something._

Seungmin’s finger hits something.

A loud, warbled noise erupts from his phone.

He throws it across the bed, biting on his lip to stop himself from yelling. If he wakes his parents up at this hour, they might be forced to get creative about punishing him. _We don’t want _that.

He leans against his headboard for a second, feeling his heart beating in his ears.

Noise is still coming out of his phone – loud, scratchy, screeching noises. Seungmin’s worried it’s broken. He wouldn’t put it past Minho to send him a virus.

He plucks the phone gingerly off the bedcover and turns it around. The screen seems to be dark. _Shit_.

Something moves on the screen.

Seungmin squints at it.

The video focuses somewhat, zooming in on two figures on a couch doing… _something_.

Seungmin makes a face and tries to find the button to exit the video.

Then he stops.

_“Get back here, Heo Hyunjoon!” _Someone in the video shouts.

Even though the sound’s blasted, Seungmin knows exactly who it is.

“So, you and Seo Changbin.”

Seungmin watches Hyunjin turn to him slowly, like he hadn’t heard, though Seungmin is sure he did.

“Huh?”

Seungmin’s never been the type to grill people, but he doesn’t feel uncomfortable asking, “When did you and Changbin start dating?”

“Oh. Uh.” Hyunjin fumbles with a loose stitch on one of the throw pillows. “A week ago, maybe? We’re not official.”

“Really.” Seungmin lifts both eyebrows. That sounds weird for Hyunjin._ Though I’m not so sure what Hyunjin’s like these days_. Seungmin’s shoulders sag a little. “How does he feel about that?”

“I don’t-” Hyunjin accidentally pulls a thread out of the throw pillow. “I don’t think he minds.”

That makes Seungmin feel weird. He doesn’t know why it sounds like Hyunjin and Changbin are sneaking around something, when there’s nothing to sneak around. He doesn’t like it.

_But if I say something, I’ll just sound… jealous._

“Oh, okay.” Seungmin smiles. He’d rather have Hyunjin back in his life in any way, than not at all. “I’m happy for you guys.”

“Thanks.” Hyunjin smiles back.

Seungmin’s stomach twists. Hyunjin’s carefree smile would have him think that everything’s back to normal. _But they can’t just be. _

“I’m glad you’re doing all right,” Seungmin says finally. “I was kind of mean to you the last time we talked. Not that I thought it would ruin your life or anything, I’m just sorry about it.”

“I deserved it.” Hyunjin hangs his head. “I was a bad friend.”

That’s not the reaction Seungmin wanted.

“Maybe a little bit to me, but Chaeyoung told me what you did for her and Tzuyu,” Seungmin says, tilting his head to look into Hyunjin’s eyes. “Which I don’t even know if _I_ would have had the patience to do.”

Hyunjin looks up at him.

Seungmin’s heart is beating against his chest like a jackhammer. He’s _sure_ Hyunjin must hear it. He feels his cheeks prickle with embarrassment.

“Besides,” Seungmin says. “If you were such a ‘bad friend,’ I wouldn’t have missed you.”

Seungmin shuts his eyes. _That was too much. Definitely too much._

_I must sound so-_

“I missed you, too, Minnie.”

Seungmin peeks one eye open. _Really?_

Hyunjin’s smile is so simple, warm, and honest, like he just doesn’t have it in him to lie. “I found so many memes that I knew no one else would find funny and I had _no one to send them to_.”

_Gosh._

Seungmin scoffs. “Really? What about Changbin?”

“Changbin’s…” Hyunjin scrunches up his nose. “He’s different. He’s sexy and cool and doesn’t like bad jokes.”

_Does that make me an unsexy, uncool lover of bad jokes? _

“Hey, what’re you saying about me?” Seungmin laughs, punching Hyunjin lightly in the arm.

“You’re a cornball.” Hyunjin says, squirming out of the way when Seungmin tries to punch him again. “Don’t hate me because it’s _true_!”

Seungmin folds his arms, unable to stop the grin on his face. “You’d better send some of those bad memes my way. I’m going _crazy_ at home.”

“I mean, yeah, why else would you pick up animals off the street and hide them in your basement?” Hyunjin laughs.

Seungmin tries to grab him, but Hyunjin spins out of the way.

“I hid them in the _pool house_, not the basement!” Seungmin manages to grab onto Hyunjin’s sweatshirt.

“I don’t even know what that is, okay!” Hyunjin’s foot catches on the rug, sending them tumbling onto the couch.

Seungmin feels Hyunjin’s warm, wet breath tickle his ear. _It’s like when a dog gets too close to you, only it’s… not._

Seungmin clambers off of Hyunjin, ironing his shirt self-consciously with his hands.

Hyunjin doesn’t seem to notice. He’s still clutching his belly, laughing.

Seungmin frowns.

“I’m sorry about that.” Seungmin says, but the words don’t mean anything, like he’s read them over and over again until they were just a collection of weird sounds.

“It’s… It is what it is.” Hyunjin shrugs. His lower lip trembles. “Can we, uh, take a break?”

“Of course.”

They lean against a low brick wall, catching their breath while the dogs they’re walking stumble around them curiously, getting their leashes in a tangle.

“But Changbin’s okay now?” Seungmin says.

“I don’t know. I hope so?” Hyunjin seems to deflate, crumpling against the wall. “Maybe he’s better off without me? It makes me feel so useless.”

Seungmin wishes there were some way to draw some of the _awful_ out of Hyunjin and share it, because he honestly feels nothing right now compared to what Hyunjin must be going through. It’s not that he doesn’t care about Seo Changbin, it’s just that Seungmin felt there was something wrong about him being with Hyunjin from the beginning.

_And I was right. _Seungmin sighs.

“Look,” Seungmin says, bending over to try to untangle two of the dogs. “I don’t know anything about… that stuff, but-”

“Do you know how scary it is to hear _you_ say you don’t know anything? _You_?”

Seungmin stops and smiles up at Hyunjin. He has this idea of Hyunjin in his head, but the real Hyunjin is always, always funnier. “I’m serious, Jinnie.”

“So am I.”

“The next time anything happens,” Seungmin says. “Anything, whatever it is, the next time something has you freaking out, you call me, okay?”

Hyunjin doesn’t say anything. Seungmin’s worried he’s lost him.

“Before you call anyone else, unless it’s an ambulance or the fire department,” Seungmin says. “Call me, okay?”

Hyunjin doesn’t reply, but he wraps his arms around Seungmin somehow, despite having two leashes in one hand and three in the other.

Seungmin, with two leashes in each hand, manages to pat Hyunjin on the back without them getting hopelessly tangled together. _Somehow. _

_Present_

Seungmin’s been lying in bed wide awake for a few hours now. He watched the sun rise through a crack in his curtain, never moving an inch as the light went from a gentle lavender to a bright, cool white. Seungmin’s not moved in hours, even though he knows the train leaves at 8:30 am sharp.

_I don’t have a plan. _

It’s taken him this long to admit it, but it’s less comforting that he thought it would be.

He shuts his eyes, feeling his face warm in embarrassment, though there’s no one there to even see it.

He hears faint voices in the next room. _Mom and Dad are awake. _

_I should’ve gotten up earlier._

Seungmin reaches for his phone on his bedside table.

First, it’s already 8:07 in the morning. He’ll never get to the station in time, even if he sprouts wings and _flies_ there.

Second, his phone’s battery is at 1%.

The bar drops to 0% while he watches.

Then the screen goes black.

_How could I have forgotten to charge it?_

Seungmin shuts his eyes again. _Get it together, Seungmin. _

_You are going to fail miserably and let the entire team and all your friends down._

_But you’re going to _try_._

Seungmin throws the sheets off. He’s already wearing jeans and a hoodie, even his socks. His sneakers are waiting for him downstairs, because even with all his not-planning he didn’t have the heart to bring shoes upstairs. He crouches on the floor and drags his duffel bag out from under the bed.

He feels around the fabric to check if his bat and his glove are inside. _Ok. At least I’ve got _that_ down, if anything. _

Seungmin slings the bag over one shoulder as he peeks into the hallway. There’s no one as far as he can see. _For now. Everything’s about to fall to shit._

Seungmin steps out anyway and heads straight for the stairs.

“Seungmin?” The nanny’s voice comes from down the hallway. “Where are you going?”

_Here we go._

Seungmin keeps walking straight ahead like he didn’t hear her.

He hears his parents’ door open. “What are you shouting about this early in the morning?” His mom’s voice echoes to the stairwell.

“Seungmin just went downstairs carrying a big bag.”

Seungmin’s feet have just touched the bottom of the stairs, but he already hears the slap of his mother’s house slippers on the floor upstairs.

Seungmin pushes past a couple of production assistants arguing about cronuts. “Sorry.”

“Watch where you’re going!”

“Sorry.” Seungmin’s bag is too big to maneuver around groggy production crew, but he tries anyway.

“KIM SEUNGMIN!”

Everyone standing in the foyer freezes in place, turning to the source of the deafening screech.

Seungmin’s mom is standing in the archway. Her hair is uncombed and tousled from sleep, and her bare face is red with anger, irritation, or embarrassment – Seungmin can’t say.

He doesn’t stick around long enough to find out. He starts running for the nearest exit, apologizing to all the poor production assistants he knocks over.

“WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING!”

Seungmin’s just made his way out one of the garden doors when someone catches him by the arm. He tries to pull himself free, but the security guy who’s caught him has a grip of steel or something. Seungmin stops struggling, worried he’ll just dislocate his shoulder this way.

The security guy starts leading him gently, but firmly back into the house.

_Oh well. _Seungmin thinks, seeing the time on the grandfather clock in the foyer. _8:12._

_At least I tried. _

Seungmin’s mom stomps over, the production crew clearing a wide berth for her to pass. _All that’s missing is them bowing to her on all fours as she passes._

Seungmin takes a breath, preparing himself for whatever his mom is going to say to him.

It never comes. What he hears instead is a distant crash, followed almost immediately by sirens so loud they make everyone drop to the ground in a panic.

_Someone’s trying to rob us? Now? _Seungmin doesn’t take a moment to think about it. He staggers to his feet and starts running, leaping over the crouching production crew members on his way to the front door.

_Where am I planning to go after that?_

Seungmin pushes the front door open anyway, wincing as the siren seems to get louder once he steps out into the front lawn.

He’s about to start running down the sidewalk when he notices someone standing on the lawn, not running around in a panic like the production crew members.

Hyunjin’s just standing there, looking up at something on the second floor.

Seungmin follows his line of sight to one of the second-story windows. It’s been smashed through, which would explain the burglar alarm going insane.

Seungmin realizes it’s the window to his room. “Park Hyunjin! Were you trying to _kill_ me?”

Hyunjin turns to Seungmin, clearly dazed. His wide mouth forms a goofy smile. “Oh, hey, Seungmin. Sorry about the window.”

Seungmin laughs and runs over to grab Hyunjin by the hand. “Where is your brother?”

Hyunjin points up the street, where, even from this far away, Seungmin can see the elder Park sitting in his blue car, his mouth open in silent horror as he stares at Seungmin’s window.

Seungmin pulls Hyunjin after him. They tumble into the backseat of the car, which is thankfully already running.

Jinyoung starts driving and shouting at the same time. “WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT?”

“Seungmin wasn’t answering his phone!” Hyunjin squawks as he and Seungmin try right themselves in the moving vehicle while pushing Seungmin’s bag to the floor.

Jinyoung pulls the car around the corner at almost triple the speed limit in Seungmin’s neighborhood. Seungmin and Hyunjin tumble into the window while Jinyoung keeps screaming, “YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO DESTROY THEIR FUCKING PROPERTY!”

“I was just trying to throw a pebble at his window!” Hyunjin pouts, lowering his voice to mumble, “Like in the movies.”

“THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS IN THE MOVIES AREN’T PITCHERS!” Jinyoung shrieks, blasting the car through a red light.

“If anything, shouldn’t you be proud of him?” Seungmin says, trying to disentangle himself from Hyunjin. There’s no point. Jinyoung turns the car around another corner, sending them both smacking into the opposite window. “Our windows are tempered glass.”

“Really?” Hyunjin grins. “Hyung, I broke tempered gla-”

“WE’RE FUCKING SCREWED!” Jinyoung yells, taking a furtive glance at a big black car gaining on them in his rearview mirror. “FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!”

The wheels screech, as if in reply, as the car bounces over what should be a speed bump.

“That’s just Dad’s security-” Seungmin says, but he’s cut off by a weak, timid siren.

A beat-up patrol car comes out of an alley and starts following them.

“FUCK!” Jinyoung says as he beats another red light.

Hyunjin cranes his neck to look out the rear window. “Oh! It’s your friend, hyung!”

“FUUUCK!” Jinyoung somehow rolls the window down as he pulls the car into another, almost 90-degree turn. Seungmin would have been impressed if one, he had been able to see it clearly rather than having nothing in his immediate view but the print on Hyunjin’s t-shirt, and two, Jinyoung hadn’t yelled out the window immediately after. “SUNGJIN!”

Somehow – many things are happening that Seungmin can barely comprehend or imagine – the police officer manages to roll his window down as well. “JINYOUNG! PULL OVER!”

“IT’S AN EMERGENCY! TRUST – Fuck – TRUST ME, DUDE!”

“DUUUUDE!” The police officer yells back, over the feeble whine of his patrol car’s siren. “PULL OVER, JINYOUNG! PLEASE!”

“NO! SORRY! JUST LET ME OFF THE HOOK THIS TIME!”

“I CAN’T DO THAT! THERE ARE _LAWS_!”

Seungmin’s only glad there doesn’t seem to be anyone else on the road this morning. Not because he’s worried about them getting into an accident (though he is, very much so), but because there’s no way anyone could take either Coach Park or Officer Park seriously after hearing this.

The car bounces on something, but Hyunjin braces himself on the seat so he doesn’t crush Seungmin. “You okay?” Hyunjin asks, raising his voice a little to be heard over his brother’s incessant screaming.

“Yeah.” Seungmin says. _More or less._

The car suddenly comes to stop, the brakes releasing this ungodly sound that would’ve made Seungmin cover his ears if he wasn’t being thrown into the front seats.

Hyunjin catches Seungmin, wrapping an arm and a leg around him to stop him from crashing into the seats in front of them. “Still okay?”

Seungmin clambers out of Hyunjin’s weird embrace. “Yeah.”

_More or less. Leaning towards less._

“Come on, come on, we have two minutes!” Jinyoung says, throwing the door open on them both.

Hyunjin and Seungmin stagger out of the car to find themselves, somehow (again, _some-_fucking_-how_) in the parking lot of the train station.

“Jinyoung! Please, I’ll just give you a ticket,” The police officer whines, in time with his frail siren.

“Sorry, Sungjin, we’ve really got to go,” Jinyoung pulls his and Hyunjin’s bags out of the boot before slamming it. He gives Sungjin something like a salute. “I’ll buy you a beer when I get back! Promise!”

They leave the police officer in the parking lot just as the black car of Seungmin’s dad’s security screeches to a stop next to the patrol car.

“That’s not how it works.” Sungjin sighs.

_The night before_

Jimin frowns. “Not to be _that_ person, but what kind of favor could I possibly-”

“Seungmin asked you to tell us not to pick him up, didn’t he?” Hyunjin asks on the other line.

Jimin’s eyebrows lift. “Well, yeah, but-”

“Please tell him that we’re not coming for him at 7:15.”

Jimin holds the phone closer to her ear to whisper, “What? You’re not going to do it anymore?”

“It’s hard to lie to Seungmin.” Hyunjin says.

Jimin agrees, but she still doesn’t understand a damn thing. “Hyunjin, I can’t think of any other way he’ll be able to get out of here. There’s no buses or taxis-”

“I know, that’s why we’re coming to pick him up.” Hyunjin’s voice sounds like he’s smiling. “Just not at 7:15.”

“Oh. _Oh,_” Jimin nods. She also starts smiling. “You know I can just tell him the truth. We don’t have to bend over backwards for Seungmin’s ego like this.”

“I know, I just… uh…” Hyunjin lets out a funny sound, like a cross between a sniff and a giggle. “This is the only way he’d ever agree to it.”

Jimin thinks about Seungmin pacing his room down the hall, trying to come up with a Plan.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Jimin says.

“Thanks so much, noona.”

Jimin hears Jinyoung muttering in the background about how Jimin isn’t Hyunjin’s sister. “Alright, go get some sleep, Baby Park. Tell your noisy brother to drive safely tomorrow, okay?”

“I will. Good night!”

Jimin pockets her phone again. She steps out of her room and heads down the hallway.

She knocks on Seungmin’s door a couple of times. “Seungmin?”

Seungmin opens it. He looks dead serious, his eyes ringed with dark circles like a raccoon. “Did you tell them?”

“Yeah.” Jimin says. “They’re not coming to pick you up at 7:15 anymore.”

Seungmin’s shoulders sag with relief, but only so much. Jimin doesn’t bother asking, because she knows he doesn’t have a plan. “Good night, Seungmin.”

“Good night, noona.” Seungmin sighs.

Jimin waits for him to close the door before breaking into a smile.

_Present_

“Is this seat taken?” Hyunjin asks, leaning on the edge of Seungmin’s row.

There’s only one seat between Seungmin and the window, and nothing in front of him but the wall of the train cabin. Seungmin thinks that maybe Hyunjin’s had enough of him for now, after tumbling around the back of his brother’s car with Seungmin like stones in a polishing machine.

_But here he is._

“Yeah.” Seungmin says. Then he frowns at himself. “Sorry, I mean no.”

“No?” Hyunjin looks crestfallen.

Seungmin can’t help but laugh. “No, the seat’s not taken, you can sit here.”

“Oh.” Hyunjin laughs at himself, too. He scoots past Seungmin to take the window seat. “Our brains probably got all jumbled up back there.”

“Yeah.” Seungmin swallows. Why does his throat feel dry?

Hyunjin clips his seatbelt on and turns to the window, leaning as close to it as he can as he watches the mountains surrounding their city sweep by in a blur. Seungmin can’t see Hyunjin’s face, but he already knows Hyunjin’s mouth is wide open in wonder.

“Uh, Hyunjin?”

Hyunjin turns to him, even though the mountains outside the window are starting to dwindle. “Yeah?”

“Thanks for coming to get me.” Seungmin says. “Even though I asked you not to.”

“No prob,” Hyunjin beams. “I always know what you really mean, anyway.”

Seungmin frowns at him. _What’s that supposed to mean?_

_That all those times he knew that I…?_

Seungmin looks right into Hyunjin’s easygoing, slightly sleepy smile. _No, there’s no way. He’s just saying random stuff._

“Hyunjin…” Seungmin starts, lowering his voice. There’s no way their teammates behind them are listening over their own half-shouted conversations, but Seungmin’s not about to take any chances.

“Hm?” Hyunjin hums.

“I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, and I know it’s way too early in the morning for this, but I… I appreciate- No, that’s stupid.”

Seungmin takes a breath. _Why is it so hard to do normal things like… not hyperventilate around Hyunjin?_

His voice is so soft that it’s pretty much just another breath as he says, “I like you a lot, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin doesn’t reply. It’s hacking away at the little pride Seungmin has left on this morning.

Seungmin taps Hyunjin gingerly on the arm. “Hyunjin?”

Hyunjin lets out a gentle snore.

Seungmin sinks back into his seat, shutting his eyes. _Well. At least I tried, right? I tried-_

Hyunjin’s head seems to fall slack, his nose brushing against Seungmin’s ear.

“I like you too,” Hyunjin mumbles suddenly, his mouth curling into a smirk.

Seungmin smacks him on the thigh. “Meanie.”

“That’s _you_, Minnie.”

Seungmin can’t believe he laughs at that, but he does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ STREAM GOD'S MENU!!! ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TQTlCHxyuu8)


	56. Heart Attack – Chuu (song recommendation by Changbin & Felix)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Notes for the Chapter:**

> The time in this chapter’s a bit fucked up – it’s night time already in the Seoul scene while still afternoon in the Busan one… as if they’re not in the SAME time zone. Worst writer 0/5 stars on yelp.

“Sorry again that we can’t come to your competition today, Felix.” Felix’s papa says, picking a piece of lint off Felix’s shirt with a deep frown.

“It’s okay, Pops.” Felix says. _Is there a nice way to say that’s exactly what I want? _

_No, probably not._

“I could still cancel my exam today.” Felix’s dad says, a little too eagerly.

“No, you can’t.” Felix and his papa say at once.

“It won’t be fair to the students who actually studied.” Felix adds. _Please. Please leave. _

Both of his parents finally stop squeezing him in nice, but unsolicited hugs, so Felix thinks they’re finally going to go.

“Oh, but the other kids’ parents are coming,” Felix’s papa pouts.

Felix follows his line of sight to three people coming up the sidewalk. Yeji is a few strides ahead of the man and woman that Felix assumes must be her parents, because they kinda look like her. Except her parents are grinning from ear to ear, while Yeji’s wearing the sourest scowl Felix has ever seen.

“No, they’re probably just dropping her off,” Felix says, putting his arms around his dads to usher them to the car. “Good luck at work, Pops, and I hope no one cheats in your exam, Dad-”

“But-”

Felix pecks them both on the cheek and practically pushes them to the car. “Love you both! Bye!”

“Bye.” Felix’s papa sighs with a defeated air.

Felix waves with his entire arm as they drive off down the street. _Oh thank goooood. Finally. _

He turns back to find Yeji quietly arguing with her parents.

“I’m _sixteen_, Mom, I’ll be fine.” Yeji mutters.

“But who’s going to take the video?” Yeji’s dad asks, wagging a tripod.

“We don’t need a video, Dad. Please.” Yeji says with one anxious glance in Felix’s direction.

Felix turns away just to see Chaeryeong and Ryujin bouncing down the sidewalk.

“GOOD MOOOOOORNING!” Ryujin yells, launching into something like a cartwheel.

“Hey, calm down, we still have to dance later!” Chaeryeong giggles, jumping around in place when she reaches Felix. “Hiya Felix!”

“Hi,” Felix smiles, trying not to get pushed over when Ryujin and Chaeryeong smother him with excited hugs. _They must’ve had coffee for breakfast. Or pure caffeine. Or straight-up cocaine._

The other two only sober up slightly when Yeji’s mom asks, “Where is the teacher?”

“She’s coming, Mom,” Yeji mutters. “The time we agreed on is still fifteen minutes from now.”

“Still, she should’ve been here first.” Yeji’s mom clicks her tongue. “Very unprofessional.”

Felix is trying to wrangle Ryujin and Chaeryeong down with both arms when he notices a gray minivan coming down the street. He doesn’t recognize the car, so he squints at it. _Who else would come to school on a Saturday morning?_

Then the minivan comes closer. Changbin’s dad is driving it, and Teacher Ahn waves from the passenger seat.

She steps down as soon as the minivan comes to a stop in front of them. “Good morning, girls, Felix, and I guess you must be Yeji’s parents.”

Yeji’s dad extends the hand not holding the tripod. “Nice to meet you, Teacher, I’m Yeji’s father.”

“Nice to meet you.” Teacher Ahn shakes his hand.

“And I’m Yeji’s manager,” Yeji’s mom says with a gummy smile. “Kidding, I’m her mom.”

Teacher Ahn shakes her hand, too, but her smile falters a bit. “Nice to meet you. I promise I’ll take good care of your daugh-”

“Oh, there’s no need.” Yeji’s dad says. “We’re coming with you.”

“Oh.” Teacher Ahn gives Yeji a curious look. Yeji, out of her parents’ line of sight, rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “I wasn’t able to buy extra tickets, though-”

“Don’t worry, we bought our own,” Yeji’s mom says.

“As soon as we heard!” Yeji’s dad grins.

“And here we thought Yeji wasn’t interested in showbiz anymore!”

“Great.” Teacher Ahn grimaces. Then she turns to the kids. “You can get in the van already. Mr. Seo is giving us a lift to the station, don’t forget to thank him.”

Ryujin throws the minivan’s back door open. “Good mooooooooooorning Mr. Seo!” She yells so hard that the windows of the minivan may or may not have rattled a bit.

Changbin frowns at her, pressed cautiously against the opposite wall.

“Changbin!” Chaeryeong beams as she jumps into the car, completely skipping the step that was supposed to help her in. “Hellooooo!”

She turns and sees Changbin’s dad at the wheel. “Ah! A _big Changbin_! Good morning!”

“G- Good morning,” Changbin’s dad stammers out, suddenly thankful he doesn’t have any daughters.

“I’m so sorry about them,” Felix says, climbing in after Ryujin all but flies in from the sidewalk. He settles next to Changbin while the other two bounce around in the back. “Hi.”

“That’s it?” Changbin smirks. “_Hi_?”

Felix elbows him in the ribs. “Stop it.”

Changbin laughs and leans over Felix to call out. “Yeji?”

Yeji jumps in surprise and points at herself like, _Who, me?_

“Yeji will be riding with us,” Yeji’s mom says sweetly, but her hands are heavy as she places them on Yeji’s shoulders.

“Oh.” Changbin closes the door and leans back into his seat. He gives Felix a look that says, _She’s scary._

Felix gives him a look that says, _Uh, yeah, highkey. _

Changbin grins and sneakily takes Felix’s hand in his. “Are you nervous?”

Felix crosses his legs to hide their hands, not that Ryujin and Chaeryeong in their current state actually have the ability to notice anything. “No, of course not.” Felix lets out a haughty scoff. “Why would I be?”

Changbin squeezes his hand. “Don’t be, I’m sure you guys will do great.”

Jungyeon sticks her gum to the roof of her mouth for a minute. “Sir, we’re the S_______ High School baseball team and-”

“I know, you guys are here every year.” The stadium manager says, glancing over the boys crowded behind Jungyeon. “Where’s your head coach?”

“It’s me.” Jungyeon says. “I’m the head coach.”

The stadium manager snorts. “Funny joke, Miss Yoo. Where’s Coach Park?”

“He’s retired.” Jungyeon says. “I’m the head coach now.”

The stadium manager makes a face. “Really?”

“Yes, _really_.” Jungyeon replies irritably. She knows it’s not polite, but she starts chewing on her gum again. _Better than me chewing on this guy. _“Can my team practice now?”

“Funny that Coach Park would let a girl become head coach, especially when you’ve got that streak to keep up.” The stadium manager says. “Guess he must not care anymore.”

Jungyeon feels the boys shift uneasily behind her. Seungmin’s taken a step forward, standing shoulder to shoulder with her. “Maybe we should just find a better place to practice, Coach.”

“Yeah, this place is musty as hell anyway,” Minho says, standing on Jungyeon’s other side. “Black mold and shit.”

Jungyeon grins as she nudges the boys back. “Thanks, guys, but this place is fine.”

“Listen to your _coach_,” The stadium manager’s sarcastic tone isn’t lost on them. “You won’t find another stadium willing to let you-”

“Pretty sure I can.”

Jungyeon, Seungmin, and Minho turn slowly, dragged down by sheer confusion as they turn to face Jeongin’s mom, who gives them her usual sunshiny smile.

“My family owns like twenty stadiums in this city alone,” Jeongin’s mom shrugs, tossing her hair over one shoulder. “I don’t think we’ll have any trouble borrowing _one_.”

The stadium manager makes a face at her like he thinks she’s insane. “Just who the hell-”

“She’s Kim Chil-hyun’s daughter,” Jeongin replies helpfully, clearly enjoying the way the stadium manager’s face pales. “Wait, Mommy, doesn’t our family own _this_ stadium?”

“Oh, we do, don’t we?” Jeongin’s mom’s smile widens unkindly. She straightens up to full height, looking down at the manager as she asks, “Sorry, what’s your name again?”

Jungyeon chews her gum with a satisfied grin as the stadium manager begins to stammer out excuses. She watches in awe as Jeongin’s mom waves him away with one hand like a gracious monarch. _If anything happens to Jeongin’s dad… I am _first_ in line._

Changbin wakes up, feeling something buzzing in his pocket. He tries to pull his phone out with his left hand, but Felix is squeezing his left arm like a pillow. _His grip is insane for someone who’s fast asleep_, Changbin thinks as he twists his right hand around to fish for his phone.

Felix murmurs in his sleep, snuggling his face into the crook of Changbin’s neck.

Changbin glances at the seats opposite them. Ryujin and Chaeryeong are out cold, heads thrown back as they snore quietly with their mouths wide enough to drop an egg in.

He smiles and presses a light kiss on Felix’s forehead before checking his phone. 

> _1 new message from Mom._

Changbin’s smile fades.

“The fuck are you guys doing?” Jinyoung asks, coming downstairs after a completely unintentional 6-hour nap. Minho’s aunt’s house is hardly a house – it’s more like a small resort, and each guest room has a king-sized bed with _clouds_ where other beds have a mattress. Jinyoung had dumped his bag in a corner with Hyunjin’s, Chan’s, and Jisung’s, then sat on the bed for a minute to catch his breath.

The next thing he knew, he was enveloped in the fluffy white marshmallow of the guest room bed, and the light outside the window was dying. _Fuck._

He’d stumbled down the winding staircase to the open space below, which Minho said was intended to be for parties.

What he sees is not a party.

The eight boys he has the misfortune of watching for the weekend are all sprawled on the floor, making a mess on what Jinyoung hopes aren’t _actually_ Italian marble tiles.

“Look, hyung!” Hyunjin sits up, green paint smeared down one side of his face as he lifts a banner as wide as his entire wingspan.

Jinyoung stares at it for a long while. “What is that.”

“It’s a bear!”

Jinyoung tilts his head. He loves his brother, but he would never in a million years call the creature caricatured on the banner a _bear_.

“See, here are the eyes, and this is the nose, and these are its teeth because it’s growling…” Hyunjin says, pointing all over the smeared mess.

Jinyoung nods, unconvinced. “Very nice.”

“Look at this one, Coach.” Hyunjoon calls from the far end of the room, pushing Jisung off the banner they’re working on. This one is easily as long as two Hyunjoons lying down. _Or two and a quarter Jisungs, _Jinyoung thinks.

Jinyoung steps over Sunwoo, who’s concentrating so hard he’s sweating rivers as he paints a banner with the words, _GO GORWLING BEARS!_

Jinyoung finally makes it to Hyunjoon and Jisung’s banner, which they present to him with a flourish and unnecessary jazz hands.

> _FUCK IT UUUUP S____ HIGH BEARS! EAT SHIT B_____ HIGH PUMAS! _
> 
> _♥ THE WEEVILS_

Jinyoung folds his arms with a very long-drawn-out sigh. “You realize the match is going to be televised, right?”

Hyunjoon and Jisung stare at him blankly.

“Yeah…?” Jisung says.

“What of it?” Hyunjoon asks.

“Never mind.” Jinyoung says, looking over Sunwoo’s painstakingly made banner. He gives the boys two thumbs up and a wide grin. “Great work, guys.”

“Awww thanks Coach!”

“Oh well damn.” Ryujin says, when they step out into the mall atrium the competition’s being held in. A big circular stage has been set up in the middle of the atrium, with multicolored lights spinning around so excitedly they blind anyone standing nearby every other second and stacks upon stacks of speakers with the bass boosted so high that all their ribs rattle to the beat.

“I thought it was just gonna be a… mall.” Chaeryeong says. “Like the one on Mackerel Street.”

“I’m starting to think the mall back home is scamming us.” Ryujin says.

Felix takes a deep breath. He’s been to recitals in giant concert halls when he was younger, but something’s got him feeling a bit jittery. _It must be the bass. It’s too fucking loud._

“Come on guys, let’s get registered,” Teacher Ahn says, trying to guide the stunned teens to the registration table.

Felix looks over at Yeji, who’s lagged a few steps behind trying to explain something to her parents, who aren’t listening to her at all. Felix sighs and turns to Changbin.

Changbin’s frowning at his phone.

“Hey, Changbin?” Felix says gently, curling one pinky around Changbin’s on his free hand.

Changbin tucks his phone quickly into his pocket, tilted so Felix doesn’t catch even a glimpse of it. “Y- Yeah? Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Felix says. He does look at the outline of Changbin’s phone for a moment, before sighing and saying, “Can you go with Yeji’s parents to find good seats? We’ve got to get ready soon anyway.”

“Okay.” Changbin nods. He gives Felix a quarter of his usual smile. “Good luck, Felix. I love you.”

“Ugh, get out of here with that shit.” Felix says, flicking him away playfully.

Changbin laughs only until he’s turned away from Felix. Then he looks troubled again. Felix watches him until he takes off with Yeji’s parents, despite their insisting they’ll be allowed backstage.

Felix walks over to Yeji, who’s sitting on a bench at the edge of the atrium, rubbing her temples. “Hey,”

She looks up. “Oh, hey. Are you guys waiting for me? Sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Felix offers her two hands to help her up. “Teacher Ahn can only put makeup on one person at a time anyway.”

Yeji chuckles. “She’s probably got her hands _super_ full with the other two. We should help her.”

“Yeah.” Felix stops and pats her on the back. “By the way, Yeji?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re doing great.” Felix says. “Don’t bother with them anymore and just focus on yourself.”

Yeji frowns for a second, probably thinking, _What do Ryujin and Chaeryeong have to do with…? _Then she realizes what he means and breaks into a smile. “Thanks, Felix.”

“What I thought you meant when you said you were taking care of dinner,” Jungyeon whispers aside to Jinyoung later that evening. “Was that you were gonna order the pizza or whatever.”

“_Pizza_? The night before a championship match?” Jinyoung scoffs. “Absolutely not on my watch.”

Jungyeon looks helplessly at the pot after pot of home-cooked dishes in a row all the way down the dining table. Every single braised, broiled, boiled, fried thing Jungyeon can think of is sitting there in front of her like a ten- or twelve-course meal. Every possible space in between is filled with side dishes and little cups of rice. She looks back at Jinyoung warily. “You cooked all this by yourself?”

“No, of course not.” Jinyoung says, just as the Weevils come dragging their half-dead bodies through the door.

Some of their hands have little red blisters as they pull their chairs back and dump themselves in their seats. Jungyeon takes a cautious step away from Jinyoung, who says, “Wait for the other boys.”

“Yes, Coach.” The Weevils drone in one tired voice.

“Go have a seat, Jungyeon,” Jinyoung gives Jungyeon a friendly enough smile and pat on the back, but it scares Jungyeon nonetheless.

“Nah, I’ll wait for my boys-”

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT!” Minho’s standing in the doorway to the dining room, hair still damp from his shower. He turns to the hallway. “GUYS! GUYS, HURRY UP!”

The rest of the Bears bound in after him, and immediately start yelling. Part of Jungyeon is annoyed that they’ve all picked up such Weevil-like habits, but the rest of Jungyeon just laughs and says, “Come on guys, thank Coach Park and the Weevils for dinner.”

Jungyeon shuts her eyes in embarrassment when her boys scuttle up to Jinyoung and descend into full bows on the floor. 

“Thank you, King!”

“King!”

Minho looks up with his eyes sparkling with adoration. “Are you single, Coach Park?”

Jinyoung frowns, like he’s really thinking hard about it. “Uh… technically-”

“Okay, that’s quite enough,” Jungyeon says, swatting the Bears away from Jinyoung. “Hurry up and start eating, the other guys look like they’re ready to pass out.”

Felix waves a hand a respectful distance from Chaeryeong’s face. “You all right?”

Chaeryeong doesn’t even blink. She stays as still as a statue while the other dance crew’s music blasts all around them.

Felix turns to Ryujin, who’s been walking around in circles for the past half-hour like she’s trying to dig a trough in the tiles with her feet. She’s also chanting something to herself that isn’t in any language he understands, which is more than a little worrying.

“Ryujin, chill, we’re going to be fine.” Felix says, but his voice is shaking. “W- Where’s Yeji?”

Chaeryeong only shrugs, while Ryujin keeps chanting on in a low mumble.

“Fucking hell.” Felix peeks out of their designated part of the waiting area. He dodges a dance troupe wearing head-to-toe pleather and manages to say “Excuse me, sorry!” as he cuts through a dance crew all wearing animal-themed masks.

A group of girls younger than them, wearing rainbow tie-dyed tutus Felix can hardly navigate around, are using the all the provided vanity mirrors backstage, except for one.

Yeji’s leaning on the last table, staring at herself in the mirror, but also at nothing at all.

Felix knows that look. _The medical term for that is ‘headcasing’_.

“Excuse me, guys,” Felix says timidly, trying to get past the last few little girls in their giant, fluffy tutus.

“Hi! Do you like my dress?” One of them asks Felix, doing a wobbly twirl in front of him.

“Yes, it’s very pretty, please excuse me,” Felix says, trying to get around her. “Please?”

“I can do a pirouette, look!” The girl says, spinning again.

Felix takes a deep breath. “Listen, kid-”

“Can _you_ do a pirouette?”

“You know what, give me some space, I’ll show you how a _real_ pirouette is done.” Felix says.

The girl steps aside, eyes wide.

Felix steps past her and goes straight to Yeji.

“Hey!” The girl whines behind him. “Liar!”

Felix ignores her. He’s got a PhD in Ignoring Younger Children. “Hey, Yeji?”

Yeji seems to snap out of her thoughts just then. “Yeah? Are we on?”

“Not yet.” Felix says. He nods at the little girls touching up their lip gloss with a worrying amount of independence. “We’re after these kids.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Hey, Yeji,” Felix puts a hand gingerly on Yeji’s back. He doesn’t know if she can feel it through her thick denim vest, but he hopes so. “Wanna tell me what’s going on?”

“N- Nothing,” Yeji shakes her head. “I just had to uh, fix my mascara, it got too clumpy and-”

“Yeji, cut the bullshit.” Felix gives her a kind smile. “Please?”

Yeji heaves a sigh and turns away from the mirror, leaning back with her palms against the vanity table. “It’s my parents.”

Felix nods. _I could’ve told you that._

“They really want me to become a celebrity or whatever.” Yeji says. “I mean I actually like performing, and it makes Mom and Dad so happy – you saw them – but… Yeah, it’s embarrassing. They’re so _into_ it.”

“It’s nice to have people cheering for you,” Felix says. “It’s really hard without anyone.”

“I… yeah, I appreciate them being there for me.” Yeji says. “But can’t they be there for me from like, a little bit further away?”

Felix laughs.

Yeji half-smiles, the rhinestones glued to her cheeks catching a bit of the light like sparkly freckles. “I just feel like I’m gonna let them down.”

“Hey.” Felix punches her lightly in the arm. “We haven’t lost yet.”

Yeji laughs then, her rhinestones twinkling in the light. “Oh come on, Felix, you’ve seen the other people here.”

“Yeah.” Felix watches the little tutu girls’ moms come to collect them. He jerks at thumb at them. “They’ve probably got a better shot than we have.”

Yeji sits on the vanity table with a sigh. “I mean, I’m not gonna feel _that_ bad if or when we lose. I can manage my expectations. I just can’t do anything about my parents’.”

Felix shrugs, staring off into the mirror. “Sometimes the best you can do is actually hide things from them so they have no expectations.”

He catches Yeji’s suspicious look. “N- Not that-”

“I didn’t say anything.” Yeji laughs, punching Felix in the arm. He knows she’s just playing, but he stumbles back a few steps because of it. “I’m not gonna press you, but if ever you want to talk about it, I owe you one, okay?”

Felix’s shoulders actually feel a little lighter. “Thanks, Yeji.”

“We’re after those rainbow kids, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Fuck.” Yeji laughs. “Ah, fuck this. Let’s go, Felix.”

Felix snickers when Yeji puts an arm around his shoulders to lead him back to their waiting area. “Word of warning, the other two are freaking out.”

“Aren’t you?”

“Yeah. Highkey. Very much so.”

“Can’t sleep?”

Seungmin turns around. He’d been sitting in the garden, listening to the trickle of water in the fountain over the koi pond, thinking everyone else was asleep. _Apparently Minho isn’t. _

Minho plops onto the grass next to him. “Those are prize koi. One is easily worth around 500 grand.”

“Huh.” Seungmin looks back at the fish darting in and out of view. The moon is full tonight, and lights the pond up halfway to the bottom.

“Wanna steal one?”

Seungmin makes a face at him.

“I was kidding. My aunt will cut me to pieces and feed me to them if I even touch one.”

“Ew.” Seungmin hugs his knees, laughing.

“Her words, not mine.” Minho plucks a leaf off a nearby shrub and floats it on the surface of the koi pond. The leaf wobbles on the ripples from the fountain for a moment before flipping onto its side and sinking away. “My aunt’s constantly showering me with creative death threats.”

“Thanks for putting your life on the line borrowing this place for us, then.” Seungmin says.

“It’s my job,” Minho says, puffing his chest up. “As the captain.”

“No it’s not.” Seungmin makes a face at him again. _Minho is ridiculous. _“But thanks anyway.”

“I’m not doing it for you guys, but you’re welcome anyway.” Minho says, plucking another leaf off the shrub. This one he starts tearing to tiny pieces. “I’m doing this for 100% selfish reasons.”

“Really.”

“Yeah. I just wanted to hang out with all of you guys before I go.” Minho says, scattering the shredded leaf bits over the pond. Some of the dumber koi swim up in the flurry to chomp at them, only to find it’s a fucking _salad_. “It’s too bad we’re not complete. Stupid Changbin ruining my plans.”

“You can still hang out with us when you’re in college,” Seungmin says. “Seoul’s not a different country.”

“But it kinda is.” Minho plucks another leaf, which he starts tearing up again. “I’m probably going to become a disgusting city rat who hates trees and only eats American food and only does casual hookups and doesn’t have any real friends.”

Seungmin takes a deep breath. The koi pond smells a little bad, and even though Minho’s aunt’s house isn’t at the city center, he can _taste _the pollution in the air. Though it’s still not as bad as the stadium earlier, which _was_ near the city center._ Minho’s more likely to develop some kind of lung disease before all that other bad stuff can happen._

“All year I’ve been waiting to finally get the fuck out,” Minho says, scattering the torn leaf bits on the pond again. Less koi fall for it this time. “But now that I’m actually leaving, I don’t want to go. Like a little bitch.”

Seungmin doesn’t know what to say. He’s worried that Minho might start crying, because he _really_ wouldn’t know what to do then. Seungmin reaches out and pats Minho gently on the arm. “Please don’t pull a Chan on us.”

Minho snorts. “Pull a _Chan_? _Me? _I’m graduating the fucking valedictorian, Seungmin.”

Seungmin blinks in surprise. He grins. “Really?”

“Yes, _really_.” Minho smirks. “You wouldn’t imagine how desperate my competition were for blowies.”

Seungmin gags, trying not to vomit on the poor prize koi.

“I’m kidding! Oh god,” Minho rubs Seungmin on the back, but also turns him away from the pond. “Throw up on the hydrangeas if you have to.”

“You’re so gross.” Seungmin says, his face still screwed up in discomfort. “I’m not going to miss that.”

“But you’ll miss _me_?” Minho smiles with _all_ his teeth before pulling Seungmin into a, for lack of a better term, _bear_ hug. “Aw, Seungmin.”

Seungmin flinches, but he hugs Minho back, patting the captain’s uncomfortably sinewy back. “We should get some sleep.”

“Yeah. We’ve got a team of city rats to _exterminate_ tomorrow.”

Seungmin stares at him, judging him in the bright moonlight.

“Fuck you, Seungmin, that was witty.” Minho flicks a finger at Seungmin. “Jeongin would’ve laughed at that.”

“He would’ve.”

Changbin frowns at his phone.

> _2 new messages from Mom._

He thinks for a long time about it, but he does end up opening the messages anyway. Like he had with the others.

Mom: I’m getting off work in a little while. Where do you want to meet?

Mom: I’m off work now. Where are you? I can come and fetch you.

Changbin taps the reply button, but he ends up staring at the blinking cursor.

_She’s still my Mom. _

Changbin starts typing. _G______ Shopping Center_-

“Honey! Honey! It’s them!” Yeji’s mom bounces around in her seat to Changbin’s left.

Changbin looks up from his phone. The stage has dimmed, and judging by the way Yeji’s parents are behaving like they’ve been electrocuted, he figures it must be Felix and the girls’ turn. He slips his phone into his hoodie pocket.

The stage is lit completely red, revealing Felix, Chaeryeong, Ryujin, and Yeji standing with their backs to the crowd. They’re all wearing denim jackets bedazzled with sparkly hearts that Changbin and Felix had stayed up all night the other day decorating.

Changbin beams with pride. From this far away you can hardly see the part where he’d messed up on Yeji’s jacket.

The music starts, and all the lights turn to pink, with a bright spotlight on the four of them as they start bouncing their hips to _Heart Attack_.

Changbin smile only grows wider. He’s seen this routine probably a hundred times, but he’ll gladly watch it a hundred times more, with the same ridiculous smile on his face every time.

Yeji’s parents clap excitedly when she ends up in the middle of the stage, only to realize they’ve knocked the phone on the tripod off-center. Changbin leans out of their way. If he’ll be completely honest, he’s not watching any of the girls.

Ryujin and Yeji disappear to the sides of the stage while Chaeryeong and Felix dance hand in hand. Yeji’s parents let out a disappointed noise when she does, only for Yeji to return and, with a flourish, unroll a wooden mat in the middle of the stage. Ryujin kicks it into place while dancing, then she, Yeji, and Chaeryeong step aside to from a line behind Felix, who twirls right onto the mat for the song’s bridge, launching into a quick tap solo.

He blows Changbin a quick kiss before skipping to the back of the formation for the last chorus.

Changbin sinks down in his seat. _That’s it. I’m dead._

At the end of the song, Ryujin drops to the floor, raising her arms up in a V-shape. Yeji and Felix take one of her hands each, forming a curve with their other hands that meet in the center, where Chaeryeong finishes the giant heart off with her hands in a little V under her face.

“That was the W_____ High Dance Club!”

Changbin claps until his hands go numb.

Felix straightens up from his bow and smiles at him.

Changbin blows him a kiss.

Felix catches it in a fist, grinning as he presses his hand to his chest.

_Oh god Felix, _Changbin thinks, lowering his head in mild embarrassment as Felix runs off the stage with the girls. _Your heart’s on the other side._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *deep breath*
> 
> [𝒮𝒯𝒜𝒩 ℒ𝒪𝒪𝒩𝒜](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVVfMFS3mgc)


	57. Losers

Changbin throws his arms wide open when he sees Felix come out from the backstage area.

Felix grins and sprints straight towards him, jumping into his arms.

Changbin spins him around a couple times before lowering him gently on the ground. “Congratulations!”

“Thanks.” Felix grins.

Ryujin frowns at them. “But we lost.”

“We didn’t even make it to the top 3.” Chaeryeong says.

“Of _eight_.” Yeji adds with a grimace.

“But your group is the only one with a Felix.” Changbin says. “And a Ryujin and a Chaeryeong and a Yeji.”

Chaeryeong rolls her eyes, but she smiles. “You’re so corny.”

Yeji’s parents come running over, tripod in tow.

“You did so great, Yeji!” Her mom says.

Yeji backs away from them warily. “What?”

“You were so good!” Her dad says.

“We’re so proud of you!” Her mom actually wipes a tear from one eye.

“Oh uh, Mr. Hwang,” Teacher Ahn says, after quickly counting the kids with one finger. “Could you email me the video you took? The Vice Principal wants a copy.”

“Of course! Of course!” Yeji’s dad nods so aggressively that his moustache flops.

“I kinda wanna see it,” Felix says, his mouth twisted in a way that lets Changbin know he made a mistake somewhere, one of those mistakes only Felix seems able to catch.

“Could we all watch it?” Chaeryeong asks.

“Over snacks?” Ryujin asks hopefully.

“Sure, we’ll buy snacks for everyone!” Yeji’s mom says. “What do you kids want?”

Yeji loops her arm around one of her dad’s. “Thanks for taking a video, Dad.”

“Anytime, Peach Pie.”

Changbin laughs with the others while Yeji buries her face in the crook of her arm in embarrassment. Then he feels his phone buzz in his pocket. It doesn’t stop buzzing. “Excuse me, guys.”

He walks off to one of the corridors leading off the from the atrium, following it all the way to a pocket garden at the side of the mall, thinking all the while whether he’s actually going to pick up or not. Changbin frowns when he catches a whiff of the pocket garden’s smell. _Oh. It’s a smoking area._

His phone hasn’t stopped buzzing.

Changbin gives up. He accepts the call.

“Hello, Changbin?”

Changbin’s eyes sting. His mom hasn’t been gone that long, but hearing her voice hurts him.

“Changbin, are you there?”

“Hello, Mom.” Changbin mumbles out.

“What did you say? Changbin? Where are you now? I have a car, I can drive to wherever you are.”

_So I tell her where I am. _Changbin thinks. _What then?_

Whatever he felt when he first heard her voice again has passed.

_I don’t want to see her. _

_But she’s my mom._

_Shouldn’t she deserve that much?_

_Should she?_

“Changbin, hello? Can you hear me? Stop messing around. Text me where you are, now.”

Changbin sighs, taking the phone away from his ear.

“Changbin? Hello? Can you hear me? Seo Changbin, what are you doing? Text me now!”

He’s just staring at the screen when someone else’s finger presses the red button.

Changbin whirls around. “Felix!”

Felix blinks at him, so innocently Changbin almost believes it.

“Felix, that was my mom.”

“I know.”

_Earlier_

“Thanks for the lift, Mr. Seo.” Felix says, hanging back while Changbin and Teacher Ahn attempt to chase Ryujin and Chaeryeong up the station’s stairs.

“Oh, no problem,” Changbin’s dad says, giving Felix a warm smile. “Good luck on your competition, Felix.”

“Thanks.” Felix nods, turning to leave.

“Oh, wait, Felix?”

Felix stops and looks back at Changbin’s dad. His smile is gone. “What’s up, Mr. Seo?”

“I, uh…” Changbin’s dad’s face scrunches up like he’s lifting something really heavy. “I kinda… I messed up and…”

“What happened?”

“I accidentally let Changbin’s mom know he’ll be in Busan today,” Changbin’s dad says. He gives Felix an apologetic look. “She might… I mean, she didn’t say anything about trying to meet him, but…”

Felix sighs. “I’ll keep an eye on him.”

“Thank you, Felix. I’m sorry for putting that on you.”

_He doesn’t get it, does he? _

“It’s not a problem for me, Mr. Seo.” Felix stops leaning on the minivan’s door. “Drive safe.”

_Present_

Changbin’s phone buzzes again before he can say anything.

_Incoming call from Mom._

He reaches out and catches Felix by the wrist before the latter can even touch his phone. “Felix, just let me…”

“Let you do what?” Felix asks testily.

Changbin doesn’t have the energy to argue with him. “I know you hate her, but she’s my mom.”

“And?”

“And…” Changbin shakes his head. “I’m not expecting you to understand, Felix-”

“Oh, wow, you’re pulling the Orphan card on me now?” Felix crosses his arms.

“No, I’m not. Felix, this is my problem to deal with, okay?” Changbin sighs. “Go stay with the others first, I’ll catch up with you later.”

“Are you going to meet her?” Felix asks.

Changbin takes a deep breath, looking through the windows into a bookstore. One of the little girls in the rainbow costume is dragging her mom after her, pointing at a book she wants. “I think I have to.”

“Screw that.” Felix says. “Do you want to?”

Changbin looks at Felix then, staring into his big, brown eyes. He looks angry, but Changbin knows he isn’t really. Changbin’s chest aches, right where his heart probably is.

“Will you be disappointed in me if I do?” Changbin asks.

“It’s not about me.” Felix says. “You’re your own person, Changbin. If you want to meet her, I don’t have any right to be upset.”

“She’s still my mom.” Changbin watches his phone’s screen light up as his mom calls again. “She raised me. And she does love me, even if she’s like that.”

“Changbin.” Felix says sharply. He doesn’t move or touch Changbin or anything like that, but Changbin feels like he’s been punched. “What do you really want to do?”

Changbin looks down at the screen. His mom doesn’t have a contact photo on this new phone, because she’d been too busy and then left before he could ask her for one. _Even if she had, it might not look like her anymore, anyway. _Changbin doesn’t know how much she might’ve changed in a month. Knowing his mom, there’s no way for him to guess.

Changbin shuts his eyes, feeling hot tears roll down his cheeks. “I don’t know.”

Felix puts his arms around him, leaning his head gently against Changbin’s. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” Changbin murmurs.

“I wish it were, because then I could’ve fixed it.”

Changbin pulls away from Felix, frowning.

“I don’t have the answers to any of your problems, Changbin, and I’ll always feel sorry about that,” Felix says. “I don’t have the answers to anything, honestly. I can’t even win a dance competition against amateurs, for fuck’s sake.”

“You were amateurs, too, Felix.”

“Yeah, but did you see the rainbow-ass ones? They were like, _toddlers_. And they beat us.” Felix rolls his eyes. “Bullshit.”

Changbin laughs, and he’s about to say something else when his phone buzzes again. He looks down at the screen.

“I’m serious, though,” Felix says, watching him with a concerned frown. “Do whatever feels right for you, I won’t say any-”

Changbin rejects the call and shuts his phone down before pocketing it.

He looks up to find Felix’s eyes bugging nearly out of his head in surprise.

“You know what I really want to do?” Changbin asks slowly.

“What?”

Changbin kisses Felix, burying his hands in Felix’s hair, which is still crispy with hairspray. Felix jumps when their lips touch, but his hands quickly snake around Changbin’s face, thumbing away the tear streaks on his cheeks.

Felix pushes Changbin backward onto the nearest stone bench, his mouth never leaving Changbin’s for more than a second. Changbin hopes, for a second, that no one tries to have a smoke just now, for their own sake. Then all the thoughts he might’ve had at that time pass away, and he grabs Felix’s ass.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Minho says, when he takes a peek at the other team’s dugout. “They’re fucking _huge_!”

“Don’t get any ideas, Cap.” Seungmin says with a stern look.

“No! Look at them!” Minho points, his finger shaking. “Why are they so _tall_? Are they a basketball team? What the _fuck?_”

“They probably don’t even have to run between bases.” Jeongin looks down at his legs with a pout. “The just take a few steps and then they’re _there_.”

“Okay, okay,” Jungyeon claps her hands together. “Come on, boys, let’s huddle up.”

The Bears form a tight huddle around the coach, but still steal glances across the way at the Pumas’ dugout.

“Hey! Focus.” Jungyeon reaches up and turns Hyungseo by the chin so he stops gawking at the other steam. “Listen, we may lose to them uh, _vertically_ speaking, but we haven’t lost yet.”

“Real inspiring, Coach.” Minho says.

She flicks his baseball cap off with one finger.

“I was being serious!” Minho squawks. “I swear!”

“I can never tell with you,” Jungyeon says, narrowing her eyes at him for a moment. But then her eyes wander over his head and to the Pumas, whose huddle look like a group of skyscrapers next to their huddle, which, to Jungyeon, look like a village of quaint little huts. “Oh god.”

Jungyeon’s shoulders sag. “Oh god.” She says again.

“You can do it, Coach.” Seungmin says, patting her on the arm.

“Yeah, Coach, you’ve got this.” Jeongin agrees.

“We’ve got your back, coach!”

“Yeah! We’ve got you, coach!”

“Coach Yoo!” Minho starts chanting. “Coach Yoo!”

“Coach Yoo! Coach Yoo!”

Jungyeon can’t stop herself from smiling. _Okay, maybe _some_ Weevil-like behavior is good._

She’s about to tell them it’s enough when the decibel level suddenly jumps up a couple hundred times.

“COACH YOO! COACH YOO!” The Weevils join in from a couple rows up on the nearby bleachers. Some of the Bears’ families, who came for the game and honestly have little idea what’s going on, join in anyway. “COACH YOO! COACH YOO!”

“WHO’S A QUEEN?” Jisung yells at the top of his lungs (always something to behold).

“COACH YOO!”

“WHO’S GONNA WIN?” Jisung yells.

“COACH YOO!”

“WHO INVENTED BASEBALL?” Jisung cups both hands around his mouth.

A handful of confused warbled noises erupt from the crowd.

“COACH YOO!” Jisung screams, answering his own question.

Jungyeon slaps her face with one hand. _No. All Weevil-like behavior is bad._

Changbin and his dad turn when they hear the doorbell ring.

“I’ll get it!” Changbin says, practically flying out of his seat and across the room. He peeks in the peephole, grins, then flings the door open. “Hey.”

“I brought breakfast.” Felix says, holding up a bag of takeout waffles.

Changbin cups his hands around Felix’s face and kisses him.

Felix leans away. “Dude, at least let me into the house first!”

“Oh. Sorry.” Changbin steps back, taking the waffles from Felix. “Sorry.”

Felix pecks Changbin on the cheek while he slips out of his sneakers. Then he tiptoes to see over the divider into the living room. “Good morning, Mr. Seo!”

“Hello, Felix!” Changbin’s dad scoots to the very end of the couch, like he’s expecting Felix to take up the space of a baby elephant. “Too bad about your competition yesterday.”

“No, it’s fine,” Felix waves a hand dismissively. “We had fun.”

“That’s good.”

Changbin squats by the coffee table as he takes the cardboard containers of waffles out from the bag. “Dad, did you find the right channel?”

“Oh, yeah, this is it. They’re after this replay of yesterday’s game.”

Felix looks at the little men on the screen running around. _This must be basketball. Right?_

“Are these all the same?” Changbin asks, inspecting two of the cartons.

“Yeah, they’re all the plain one.” Felix pouts. “Did you want any of the other flavors?”

“No, it’s okay.” Changbin puts the cartons down and heads to the kitchen, pulling a can out of the pantry.

Felix watches him dig around one of the cabinets for a pan. He frowns. “Is it not enough?”

“No, I just felt like having spam with it. Spam and waffles. Makes sense.” Changbin says, before tearing the can open with his teeth. “Want some spam, Dad?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Changbin’s dad calls back, absorbed in the replay of the basketball game like he’s worried the results might change.

Felix gets up and walks over to the kitchen, even though kitchens in general make him anxious, the same way that very deep water makes him anxious. “You need any help?”

“No, I’m fine.” Changbin puts the pan on the stove and lights it. The initial flame is so big that Felix shrinks away. Changbin smiles at him. “Really, you can just watch with Dad.”

Felix shakes his head, leaning on the cabinets a good two meters away from the stove. “I’ll just watch.”

“Weird, but okay.” Changbin makes a face, but he laughs as he chops up the spam. He stars laying the slices on the stove, snickering at how Felix jumps every time the oil pops. “You wanna try one?”

“Like, cooking?”

“Yes, like cooking.” Changbin beckons with one hand. “Come here.”

Felix shuffles over. Changbin puts his hand over one of Felix’s, guiding him to pinch a slice of spam. Felix flinches when he holds it, but Changbin doesn’t let him let go. He guides Felix’s hand until he drops the spam flat onto the pan.

Felix squirms out of the way and ducks behind Changbin when the spam starts sizzling. “Oh come on, what’s the worst a piece of _spam_ can do-”

“Oh! It’s starting!” Changbin’s dad calls from the living room.

Changbin pats Felix on the butt. “Go watch, I’ll finish up here.”

Felix lowers his head. “Okay.”

Changbin pats his boyfriend’s butt again. “Tell me what’s happening!”

“Fine.” Felix dashes to the living room and flops onto the couch. “Oh, it’s the same stadium as last year!”

Changbin laughs, flipping the spam slices over. “And?”

“And…” Felix squints at the screen. The camera pans over the entire stadium. “I see the other guys! They’ve got banners!”

“What do they say?” Changbin asks, using the spatula to press the spam down on the pan.

“Uh…” Felix watches the camera zoom in while the announcer says something about a surprising lot of people coming out to support the Bears. He scowls. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“What?” Changbin asks.

“They misspelled ‘Growling’.”

Jeongin takes a deep breath. The Pumas’ first batter is so jacked, it shows even through his baggy jersey. He looks like he could easily break one of Jeongin’s bones with one finger.

_Good thing baseball’s not a contact sport._

He rolls the baseball around in his hand a few times. The announcers this year aren’t as loud as last year’s, but Jeongin vaguely hears them saying something about the game about to start.

Jeongin takes a deep breath of the stadium’s smelly, dusty air, then winds up for a pitch.

He lets the ball linger on his finger just for a fraction of a second as he releases it, sending it off in a gentle downwards arc.

The ball hits Minho’s glove with a loud slap just as Jeongin straightens up again.

The Pumas’ batter looks unfazed.

Jeongin catches the ball and waits for the signal before winding up again. His arm and shoulder seem to move on their own, sending the ball right into Minho’s glove again, as if the batter isn’t even there.

Jeongin notices the Pumas’ batter still staring at him with that same, slightly bored expression.

_I wish I looked that cool, _Jeongin thinks as he winds up for another pitch, which lands in Minho’s glove again, easily.

Jeongin watches the batter walk off the pitch with a nonchalant shrug, ignoring his coach’s irritated nagging. _What a cool guy._

“That guy plays like a pro,” Changbin’s dad frowns at the screen.

“Who?” Changbin asks, busy watching Felix fold his waffle like a taco and stuff it with spam.

“That kid,” Changbin’s dad uses his own rolled-up waffle to point at the screen. “The Bears’ pitcher.”

“Psssh, Yang Jeongin?” Felix scoffs, drenching his waffle taco with maple syrup. “He’s a scrub.”

“Felix,” Changbin chides him, gently taking the maple syrup away from his boyfriend before the latter makes his breakfast into a soup. “Jeongin’s pretty good.”

“_Pretty_ good?” Changbin’s dad shakes his head. “That’s an understatement.”

Minho gives the bat an experimental swing.

_Paper due on Tuesday, then exams start on Wednesday through Friday, and there’s that final project you haven’t done the interview yet for-_

The umpire blows his whistle, breaking Minho out of his thoughts.

_Right. Win the championship first. _

Minho steps up to the plate, lowering himself a little and sticking his butt out as he narrows his eyes at the Pumas’ pitcher.

The pitcher winds up and tosses the first pitch.

It looks easy enough to hit, but the ball hits Minho’s bat at a weird angle, popping upward and off to the left.

Minho steps away from the plate and rolls his shoulders while the other team’s catcher tosses the ball back to their pitcher. Minho can hear his teammates and the Weevils shouting from the stands, but he’s not listening to them right now. He needs to focus.

He steps back up to the plate.

The Pumas’ pitcher seems to be moving slowly, maybe because he’s so tall, but when he lets the ball go, it flies at Minho faster than Minho expected it to.

The ball hits the catcher’s glove behind Minho.

_Fuck. _

Minho shakes his head. _No, we’re fine, it’s okay. _

He can see Joonyoung edging away from second base.

_It’s okay, I just have to help Joonyoung-_

The Pumas’ pitcher whirls around, and the ball hits the second baseman’s glove before Minho even sees it leave the pitcher’s hand.

Joonyoung’s just barely managed to make it back to second base, panting with one leg extended so one foot can rest on the base.

The Pumas’ pitcher catches the ball again from the second baseman. When he turns back to face Minho, he’s wearing this smirk that really, _really_ pisses Minho off. If Minho were to make a list of the most annoying things in the world, _People Who Are Attractive and Talented and Know It_ would probably be in the top 3.

Minho lifts his bat.

The ball flies again, so quickly that Minho can hardly see it. But he’s ready for it this time, swinging a little earlier than he’s comfortable with.

The ball hits his bat a little early, close enough to his fingers to send a tingle through them. But it does, and flies for a short distance before bouncing on the grass.

Minho doesn’t see all that. He’s already dropped the bat and started running.

He vaguely sees the Pumas’ shortstop catch the ball. He didn’t hear anyone calling out to him, and doesn’t hear anyone else in the entire team say a single damn thing.

_Shit shit shit shit,_ Minho pumps every last bit of energy he has to sprint to first base, which seems so far away for no good fucking reason. _Shit shit shit shit-_

Minho dives to tap the base with just the edge of his cleats, feeling his face redden at having to dive for _first_ fucking base.

“Out!” The umpire calls.

Minho looks up to find the Pumas’ first baseman holding the ball in his glove, frowning at Minho with a slightly apologetic look.

_Well shit. _

He gets up, brushing himself off as he walks back to the dugout.

Only to find Joonyoung standing there. “They’re fucking monsters.”

“They got you too?” Minho frowns.

“Yeah, it’s like the ball fucking _teleported._” Joonyoung slouches on the bench, arms crossed.

Minho pats him on the slightly dusty, sweaty hair. _Joonyoung must have had to try sliding, too. _“It’s okay, we’ve got six more innings to bury them alive.”

“What’s the score?”

“1 all.” Changbin and his dad reply at once. Changbin looks away from the screen to find Felix slumped over the couch’s armrest, wiggling his feet.

Changbin pats him on the back. “Hey, you okay?”

“Huh?” Felix rolls over, yawning widely. “Oh, yeah, I’m good. It’s just that I didn’t realize it’s _this_ hard to watch baseball when you’re not the one playing it.”

Changbin tries not to laugh. He pokes Felix playfully in the side of his stomach. “Are you bored?”

“Nuh-” Felix yawns again. “-uh.”

Changbin pokes him again. “Did you sleep last night?”

“I dunno,” Felix shrugs, eyes fluttering shut. “Three?”

“You slept at _three_ in the morning?”

“No, I slept for like,” Felix yawns again. “Three hours.”

Changbin sighs. He turns to find his dad frowning at the TV screen like it’s a bill he can’t work out. “Hey Dad, can Felix take a nap in my room or is that… Is that okay?”

“Yeah.” Changbin’s dad frowns, his eyes clearly trying to follow the ball’s path onscreen, but with their bad reception, he ends up pretty much cross-eyed. “These B_______ High kids are insane.”

Changbin rolls his eyes and lugs a half-asleep Felix off the couch and down the short hallway.

He’s just opened the door to his room when Changbin feels Felix’s arms snake around his waist.

Changbin frowns at him. “Felix?”

Felix’s eyes are shut as he rests his chin on Changbin’s shoulder.

Changbin glances over his other shoulder. His dad’s so absorbed in the game that he probably can’t see anything else.

Changbin picks Felix up, holding him close to his chest as he carries him into the room. “Who told you not to sleep?”

Felix mumbles something against Changbin’s shoulder.

Changbin lowers Felix gently onto his bed. He leans over him, adjusting Felix’s head on his pillow, then steps back.

He’s suddenly overwhelmed with a weird kind of embarrassment at seeing Felix in his bed. Felix isn’t that much taller than him, but his hair is brushing one wall of Changbin’s room, and his bare feet are touching the other. _And he isn’t even lying out flat. _

Changbin frowns at himself. _It’s not like Felix would complain about your room being like this. He’s not like that. _

He brushes Felix’s too-long hair away from his eyes and turns to leave.

Felix mumbles something.

Changbin turns around. “Did you say something?”

Felix’s eyes stay shut, but he pats the bed with one hand.

“Huh?”

Felix pats the bed harder, rolling up against the wall to make some space next to him. “Come here.”

Changbin looks down at the space Felix has made on the bed, which is barely enough for one of Changbin’s legs. “I do _not_ fit there, Felix.”

“Come here,” Felix whines, smacking the mattress like it’s wronged him somehow.

Changbin leans out the door to peek at his dad. Said dad slaps his knee in annoyance at something that happened in the game. Changbin remembers that his dad’s only watching this game because of them, because _certain people_ said they would support their friends.

Changbin looks back at Felix, who’s managed to drag his eyelids open as he gives Changbin a lazy smile.

_I’m sure Minho and the others are fine._

Changbin closes the door gently behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this joonyoung is NOT jacob he keeps swearing LMAO 🙏 jacob would never


	58. “Poor guy. He doesn’t have a Hyunjin.” -Kim Seungmin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changbin cringes when the slats of his bed let out a loud squeak under him.

“Shh,” Felix snickers, hooking his fingers in Changbin’s t-shirt. Changbin’s foot slips on his bedspread, and as he grabs onto the metal rungs of the headboard to steady himself, the bed lets out a really, really loud groan. Felix scrunches his eyes up in embarrassment. “You’re so fucking loud.”

“Screw you, I’m doing my best,” Changbin grumbles, trying to balance himself on the tiny sliver of space Felix has left for him on the bed.

“You can.” Felix shrugs, pressing himself against the wall to give Changbin more space.

“I can what?”

“_Jesus_.” Felix sits up, clapping his hands together like he’s praying. “Jeeeeeeezus.”

Changbin sits up and frowns at him, squirming at the loud creaks from the bed under him. “I thought you weren’t Christian.”

“I’m… Goddammit.” Felix takes a deep breath. He rests his hands on Changbin’s shoulders, glaring at him like Changbin owes him money (which, as far as Changbin knows, he doesn’t). “Seo Changbin.”

Changbin leans away cautiously. “Yes?”

“I’m not sleepy.” Felix starts slowly, like he’s talking to a toddler.

“You’re… not?”

“I am not.” Felix says again. “I just faked it so we could get away from your dad.”

“Dad? What’s with Dad-”

“Changbin. Agh, fuck this.” Felix groans. He tugs his shirt over his head and tosses it to the foot of the bed. Then he tilts his head, giving Changbin a pointed look. “Do you not want to…?”

“Oh.” Changbin blinks at Felix’s bare chest, his eyes trailing slowly downward. Somehow, he was aware that Felix is the most beautiful person on the entire planet, but he wasn’t expecting him to be _hot_ on top of all that. Changbin frowns at himself. _Stupid Changbin._

“_Oh_? That’s all? Seriously, Changbin, fuck it if your dad hears us, he’s not going to think you’re looking at a half-naked guy just going _Oh, _like I’m showing you pictures of paint fucking drying on a wall or grass growing in a fucking field-”

Changbin closes his mouth over Felix’s, gently pushing Felix into the wall behind him.

Felix grins into the kiss, tugging the back of Changbin’s shirt up a little.

Changbin breaks the kiss for a second to tug his shirt over his head and toss it somewhere. _The room’s not big, I’ll find it later_, he thinks, before deciding that he ultimately doesn’t care.

Felix pulls Changbin in by the waist for another kiss.

Seungmin takes a breath, trying to loosen his grip on the bat just a little bit, but his knuckles are going white and he can’t help it.

They’ve managed to cut the margin between them and the Pumas down to 6 runs. Which doesn’t sound like a lot, but with only two innings left, Seungmin’s started managing his feelings.

_We might not win. That’s okay. _

Seungmin swings, but the Pumas’ pitcher – who hasn’t even broken a sweat in the last five innings – just throws the ball so _hard_ that Seungmin hears it hit the catcher’s glove before he can even think.

Minho dashes back to second base before the pitcher can turn to check him. He’s just far enough that his face is a bit of a blur to Seungmin, but even so, he can see that Minho’s eyebrows are furrowed in frustration.

_Minho might become the first captain in seven years without a championship. That’s… Not so bad if you think about it in the grand scheme of things._

_Minho won’t die. _

_He might take it out on someone (who might die), but Minho won’t die, at least._

“GOOOOO SEUNGMIN!” Jisung’s voice carries from the stadium’s second-level balcony.

Seungmin looks up when he steps away from the plate.

The Weevils are shaking their upside-down and misspelled banners like their lives depend on it. Seungmin tries not to laugh.

Then he sees the one at the far end of the balcony.

Hyunjin’s holding one end of the banner, and his brother’s holding the other, begrudgingly from the looks of it. Seungmin has no idea what’s drawn on the banner itself, but his best guess would be a wet shit.

Hyunjin notices him looking up and waves with his whole arm – no, with his whole upper body. He waves so hard that he drops his end of the banner.

_I might have put Hyunjin and his brother in danger from my parents for nothing. _

_That’s… _

_That’s not okay. _

Seungmin nods when the umpire whistles at him. He steps back up to the plate and lifts the bat.

He draws his shoulders back and narrows his eyes at the other team’s pitcher.

Seungmin swings again, but he just barely feels the ball graze his bat before it slams into the catcher’s glove. The Pumas’ catcher winces, like even he wasn’t prepared for how strong the pitch was.

Felix leans on one hand, leaving the other free to hook a finger around the drawstring tie of Changbin’s sweatpants. “Yes?”

Changbin looks up at Felix. “Okay.”

Felix gives the string a little tug, untying Changbin’s sweats before slipping one hand past the waistband. His eyes widen. “You weren’t wearing underwear?”

“I’m just at home, was I supposed to-”

“Yeah, but you _knew_ I was coming over-”

“Is there a rule that I’m supposed to-”

“It’s common decency to wear underwear around guests-”

“But you’re not _guests_,” Changbin scoffs. “You’re… Felix.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I don’t need to wear anything around you, do I?”

Hyunjin gasps loudly, dropping his end of the banner again.

Jinyoung huffs as he pulls the banner back over the railing before it lands on the people below. “What’s-”

“_Glasses_!” Hyunjin says, shaking his brother. “Seungmin’s not wearing his glasses!”

“He’s- _What_?” Jinyoung frowns. “Shit, he isn’t. How the hell is he even playing?”

“I don’t know!” Hyunjin leans off the balcony and frowns down at Seungmin, around the size of a plastic toy soldier on the field below. 

Seungmin’s grip on the bat looks tenser than usual, and his arms seem pulled just a little tighter. He knows Seungmin’s one strike away from ending the inning, and the fact that Minho of all people is stuck on second base.

_Stupid Hyunjin. _Hyunjin lowers his forehead to the balcony’s railing. _You’ve been with Seungmin for a whole freaking day and you only noticed _now_?_

Hyunjin shakes his head. _The game’s nearly over and you only noticed _now_?_

_No wonder Seungmin’s not playing as well as he usually-_

A loud _ping_ that resonates throughout the stadium like a church bell.

Hyunjin looks up, frowning.

On the field below, Seungmin’s dropped the bat and started running towards first, his legs moving so quickly Hyunjin can hardly focus on them.

Hyunjin watches the ball get thrown to the first baseman, but just a bit too late. Seungmin’s already rounded the corner and started towards second.

The Pumas, who had been weirdly quiet up till now, start shouting at each other. The first baseman throws the ball to home, but it just misses Minho by a hair.

Seungmin’s still running.

_Stop, _Hyunjin thinks, gripping the balcony railing until his knuckles are white. _Stop, Seungmin, don’t-_

Seungmin ducks as he passes the second base, narrowly missing getting hit in the head with the baseball.

Hyunjin lets out a sigh of relief. He’d have to get into a fight if somebody hit Seungmin, even though he knows he’d lose to these guys.

Seungmin keeps running.

Hyunjin doesn’t want to watch. _The second baseman will throw the ball to third, and there’s no way Seungmin can get there before a freaking_ ball.

Seungmin couldn’t and he doesn’t, but the second baseman seems to have overthrown the ball, so Seungmin rounds the third corner while the Pumas’ third baseman fumbles with the baseball.

Hyunjin clasps his hands together, resting his chin on top of them while he watches Seungmin run.

The third baseman’s gotten a grip on the ball and thrown it to the catcher, just as Seungmin’s dropped into a slide.

Hyunjin starts praying. Actually, it’s a little more like shamelessly begging Whoever’s listening, but he’d rather call it praying.

The umpire extends his elbows, then his arms to his sides. “Safe!”

Seungmin looks a little dazed as he gets up, half his uniform covered in dirt. But he still manages to squint up at the balcony and smile.

Hyunjin smiles back. _Oh. Good. He’s okay. Good._

“Are you still okay?”

Felix opens his eyes to find Changbin looking up at him with a slightly apologetic, mostly flushed expression.

“I… uh…” Changbin’s mouth purses into a wobbly little w. “Sorry, but can we, uh, can we stop?”

“Okay.” Felix rests on his elbows and presses a kiss to Changbin’s slightly damp forehead. Then he sits back up on Changbin’s thighs. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no, you’re perfect.” Changbin says, giving Felix such a warm smile that Felix feels tingles down to his toes. Then Changbin’s face falls. “It’s me.”

Felix nods slowly, though he doesn’t quite understand. He’s so hard right now that it’s making him a little dizzy. Still, he manages to crawl away from Changbin and give him some space. “Do you wanna, uh…talk about… Yes?”

Felix’s brain is fried. He’s in no state to be comforting anyone right now except Felix Jr. _Little Felix? No, that sounds degrading. Sorry, Felix Jr._

“Sorry.” Changbin says again.

Felix shakes his head. He closes his eyes so he can’t see Changbin’s body, because just seeing it physically causing him _pain_ right now.

Changbin puts his arms around Felix, leaning in to press his lips lazily against the hollow of Felix’s collarbone.

“I, uh, this is going to sound funny ‘cause I’m the older one and you’re… I mean… I just don’t think I wanna… I don’t think I’m ready for sex yet. Sorry,” Changbin mumbles, his lips dragging on Felix’s skin just hard enough to make all the blood rush far, far away from Felix’s brain.

Felix hopes he just passes out soon, so it’s all over.

“Sorry for leading you on.”

“No, no, you’re not leading me on, it’s fine,” Felix says, forcing his arms to wrap around Changbin like an uncomfortably warm, sweaty cocoon. He leans back and uses one finger to tilt Changbin’s face up to look at him. “I’m probably not ready yet, either, I’m just too dumb and horny right now to like, _think thoughts_.”

Changbin’s shoulders shake with a snicker. “Lee Felix, what the hell-”

“Please kiss me before I say anything stupider. Please.”

Changbin leans back, taking a moment to study Felix’s strawberry-red face dotted with embarrassed little freckles.

Then he kisses him again, leaning back against the pillow while Felix straddles him.

Seungmin uses one sleeve to wipe sweat from his face. His sweat’s dribbling into his eyes, blurring his vision and stinging so much it’s just as bad as if he’d started crying. _Are we suddenly closer to the Sun? What the heck?_

The Pumas’ batter wiggles his shoulders as he lifts the bat.

Seungmin wishes he’d remembered to pack his sports goggles, because it’s killing him not being able to see the guy’s face from second base.

He sees Jeongin wind up for a pitch in that ridiculous, showy way he does. Seungmin’s always felt it slows him down more than its worth, and now that he’s seen the Pumas’ pitcher shoot pitches out with all the sluggishness of an automatic rifle, Seungmin’s all but sure.

The Pumas’ batter manages to hit the ball, but it bounces off the bat with a backwards spin and hits the umpire in the arm with a loud thump. An argument breaks out between the umpire, the batter, and the Pumas’ coach for a minute, so Seungmin looks up at the stands.

He _definitely_ can’t see Hyunjin from this far away. All the people are little blobs, and even the banners are nondescript whitish squares. He can’t tell which one’s Hyunjin’s masterpiece – he’s not going to let him live that down, obviously – or which vague blob Hyunjin is.

Still, Seungmin can’t stop thinking about him.

_The cops will probably be waiting when we get back home. _

_Or Dad might have called the local police here to find Hyunjin’s brother. _

Seungmin can’t tell what’s worse.

The umpire seems to have realized that he’s whining like a little kid on national television, so he quickly straightens up and signals the boys to start playing again.

The Pumas’ batter steps back up to the plate.

Jeongin winds up for another pitch.

_If anything happens to Hyunjin’s brother…_

_They really shouldn’t have done that. _

_I should’ve found my own way without involving them._

_Who knows what Dad’s gonna-_

Seungmin hears the ball hit the bat.

He lifts both his head and his glove instinctively, but he’s so surprised when the ball actually lands in his glove that he almost forgets to close it. _Almost_.

The batter groans loudly and starts slumping back to his dugout while the umpire signals the end of the half-inning.

Jeongin turns to Seungmin, bouncing around on the pitcher’s mound like someone had given him candy (always a bad idea). “WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT, DUDE?”

Seungmin shrugs.

“You’re ridiculous.” Felix says, gently brushing Changbin’s hair out of his eyes with his fingers. Changbin had fallen asleep on Felix’s arm, which is starting to go numb, but Felix would rather lose the whole thing than wake Changbin up. “You could’ve at least put your shorts back on before passing the fuck out.”

Changbin mumbles something in his sleep. Felix doesn’t catch what it is. _Probably nonsense._

Felix hears footsteps approaching from outside Changbin’s room.

_Shit. _

Felix looks back down at Changbin, curled up against Felix, but more importantly, _butt naked_. Then he looks at the door. There doesn’t seem to be any way to lock it, since it doesn’t even have a proper handle. _Shit._

“I’m sorry,” Felix whispers, sliding his arm out from under Changbin’s head. He tries to slide the pillow in its’ place, but he’s no magician. He ends up whacking Changbin in the face with the pillow, but Changbin doesn’t seem bothered by it. He only rolls onto his back, arms and legs spread out to cover the entire bed.

It takes a _lot_ of effort for Felix to tear his eyes away.

Felix scrambles off the bed, tearing through the cardboard boxes stacked all around Changbin’s room for his shirt.

The door opens with a low creak. “Changbin?”

Felix leans on the doorjamb, keeping the door from opening any further with a bright smile and a strategically-placed foot.

“Hey, Mr. Seo, Changbin’s taking a nap.” He whispers, bringing a finger to his lips to drive the point home.

Changbin’s dad frowns. “I thought… you were sleepy?”

“Oh. Yeah. Well.” Felix lets out a nervous chuckle. “Not anymore.”

Changbin’s dad seems to be frowning at something over Felix’s shoulder, but Felix gets up on tiptoes to block his line of sight. “He said he’d take care of lunch-”

“Uh, is the, uh, is the game finished?” Felix asks, lifting his shoulders to block even more of the view.

“Not yet.” Changbin’s dad says. “But your buddies are down 2 runs.”

“That’s too bad. Anyway, I’m sure they’ll figure it out!” Felix says, trying to nudge the door shut just a little more. “Uh, you wanna just have lunch delivered, Mr. Seo?”

“Uh…”

“I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry about it,” Felix forces a laugh again, like when he’s squeezing the very last bit of toothpaste out of the tube with all his might. “You should probably get back to the game.”

Changbin’s dad doesn’t look convinced, but he shrugs. “I’ll let you guys know what happens.”

“Yeah, thanks.”

Felix leans against the close door, letting out a very long, deep sigh of relief.

Then he realizes that Changbin’s lying on the bed watching him, with his head propped up on one hand and shit-eating grin on his face. “That was hard to watch.”

“You’re the worst.” Felix picks up the nearest thing he can reach (a cap hanging on the chair) and throws it at Changbin.

Changbin catches the cap in one hand, laughing. _This is what I get for dating a baseball player, _Felix thinks bitterly.

“Go put something on.” Felix grumbles.

“Sure.” Changbin leans off the edge of the bed to pluck his shorts off the floor. “Could I have my shirt back?”

Felix looks down. _Shit_.

Hyunjin’s dropped to his knees, chin resting on the balcony ledge. He doesn’t want to watch this game anymore. The Bears are down two runs, with two outs and two guys on the bases. _What an ugly number, _Hyunjin thinks. _Two._

Seungmin steps out onto the field below, rolling the bat in his hands.

Hyunjin closes his eyes.

He peeks one eye open. He can’t miss anything.

Seungmin’s hands are shaking.

Hyunjin’s shoulders sag. _Why does it have to be Seungmin of all people?_

Coach Yoo had sent out all their seniors to bat for the last time, not expecting much. But Minho and Joonyoung had managed to get as far as second and first base.

_So now Seungmin has to win or lose the game for them. _

_Stupid seniors._

The Pumas’ pitcher rolls his shoulders. It’s the first time in the entire game that he’s ever looked even a little bit tired. Hyunjin hopes _he’s_ a senior, so Hyunjin won’t have to play against him next year.

Seungmin lifts the bat.

Hyunjin can’t help but squeeze his eyes shut. _Please please please please please please-_

The noise in the stadium is deafening now, but Hyunjin still hears the ball smack into the catcher’s glove.

He opens his eyes and looks down at Seungmin’s tense little figure. Hyunjin can’t see his face from here, but he can tell by the way Seungmin’s holding his shoulders. It’s his way of saying he wants a hug, right now.

Seungmin steps back from the plate to take a shallow breath.

_Would it be against regulations to run onto the field and give Seungmin a hug?_

Hyunjin glances at his brother, who’s crumpling the banner in his hands while he watches the game, though he probably doesn’t notice it.

“GOOOOOOOOO SEUNGMIIIIIIIIIIIIN! GOOOOOOO! SEEEUNGGMIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!” Hyunjin yells at the top of his lungs, leaning the upper half of his body off the balcony. “THAT’S MY SEUNGMIN!”

Jinyoung grabs Hyunjin by the shirt, reeling him back in. “Goddammit Hyunjin, I don’t want to become an only child _that_ bad.”

Seungmin feels his ears burning, and it’s not because of the sun.

He doesn’t look up at Hyunjin, but just hearing him make an absolute fool of himself in the stands makes Seungmin smile.

He steps back up to the plate.

He looks up at the Pumas’ pitcher. _Poor guy. _

Seungmin lifts the bat.

_He doesn’t have a Hyunjin._

“Holy fucking shit.” Jinyoung breathes, almost reverently when Seungmin sends the ball flying in a wide, perfect arc.

Everyone else is yelling their heads off, watching the ball smack into the upper balcony opposite the home plate, everyone but Hyunjin. He watches Seungmin sprint towards first base.

The Pumas are starting to shout at each other, but there’s no point to it.

Seungmin seems to realize it only then, and jogs from first to second with a smile that Hyunjin can see all the way from the stands.

Minho cartwheels onto the home plate, sticking his tongue out at the Pumas’ catcher as soon as he sticks the landing.

Seungmin slows down to a walk as he nears third base.

Joonyoung dances the shuffle over the home plate, smacking his ass as he passes the Pumas’ poor catcher, who just looks like he wants to go home already.

Seungmin strolls casually to home, stopping over the plate to look up at the first balcony and wink.

He’s missed Hyunjin by three entire sections of the stadium, but Hyunjin smiles back anyway.

_Not bad aim for someone without his glasses._

“I’ll just walk Felix out to the street.” Changbin says.

“Oh, I’ll come with you two,” Dongho says, seeing how both the boys look a little upset when he does. “Only until Hye- Teacher Ahn’s place. I’ve got something to return to her.”

“Oh.” Felix and Changbin say at once.

Dongho notices, of course, that they walk an entire meter apart from each other, and in complete silence as long as he’s with them. The second that the turns to knock on Hyejin’s door, he hears the boys start talking in hushed voices. Changbin laughs at something Felix says, whatever it is.

Hyejin opens the door. “Why’s your face like that?”

Dongho tries to erase whatever expression he had on. “Like what?”

“_Ugly_.” Hyejin laughs. She looks down at the toaster oven Dongho’s cradling in his arms like a baby. “Is that mine?”

“Yeah.” Dongho says. “I uh, since we’re moving out at the end of the week.”

“Better two years late than never, good point.” Hyejin says, snatching the toaster from him like she’s afraid he’ll change his mind. “What’re you looking at?”

Dongho turns back to her self-consciously. “What?”

Hyejin stands on her tiptoes to look over his shoulder. She catches a glimpse of a white car driving off, and Changbin waving at it with his entire arm.

“_Ah_.” She says, in that tone that both scares and annoys Dongho in equal measures.

“Felix um, came over to watch the game.”

“Is that all?”

“What do you mean, _is_ _that all_?”

Hyejin smirks. “They didn’t watch the game, did they?”

Dongho lets out a defeated noise, like an injured woodland creature. He nudges Hyejin into the apartment and closes the door behind him, collapsing against it. “Please help me Hyejin I don’t know what to _do_-”

“Uh, nothing?” Hyejin rolls her eyes. “Just let them be.”

“But they- they’re _babies_.” Dongho whines, covering his eyes like he’s trying to rub his memory clean (not possible). “And they- they were- _aaaaaarrrgghhhhh_! And I could hear _everything_! Even with the TV at top volume!!!”

“You were probably worse than them when you were their age, I’m sure.” Hyejin says, patting Dongho on the arm. Her grin lets him know she’s having way too much fun watching this.

“I didn’t do that with my b- I mean, my girlfriend, in my _house_,” Dongho groans. “Not when I knew my parents could hear me!”

“Awww, poor baby,” Hyejin tiptoes to pat Dongho on the head. She jumps out of the way when he tries to flick her with one finger, lowering the toaster onto a kitchen counter. “You know it goes both ways, right?”

Dongho frowns. “What?”

“Changbin could hear everything you and Minju-”

“We were _very_ quiet.” Dongho says defensively. “And we hardly ever did it by the time Changbin was old enough to understand anyway.”

Hyejin fixes him with a tired look. “I mean when you were _fighting_, you idiot. He could hear everything. Hell, _I_ could hear everything.”

“Oh. Sorry.” Dongho hangs his head.

“So suck it up, be happy for your kid, and buy yourself some headphones or something.” Hyejin says, folding her arms. “Oh, and call Changbin down for dinner. I made his favorite.”

“Okay.” Then Dongho’s brow furrows. “Why?”

“Because I’m going to miss my favorite neighbor after this week,” Hyejin says. When Dongho breaks into a smile, she rolls her eyes again. “I’m talking about Changbin. Changbin is my favorite neighbor.”

“Sure he is.” Dongho grins, poking Hyejin in the arm.

“Go on, get out of here, you big oaf,” Hyejin says, pushing Dongho towards the door. “I’m going to be so glad when you’re gone.”


	59. "You are not the Bang Chan you think you are” – Han Jisung

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Monday morning_

“She’s there.”

Hyunjin and Seungmin sit up, leaning in the space between Jinyoung and Mark’s seats to peek out the car’s windshield. Sure enough, an elderly woman’s spritzing the all the hydrangeas along the apartment complex’s front fence like she wants them to drown.

“Fuck.” Jinyoung curses, glancing back at the box between Hyunjin and Seungmin. “How are we going to sneak _her_ in now?”

Hyunjin the cat peeks over the edge of the cardboard, letting out a meow as if to ask, _You talking to me?_

“You could distract her.” Seungmin and Mark say at once. They exchange knowing glances.

Jinyoung sighs. “It’s not going to work, she hates my guts-”

“No, not _you_.” Mark chortles.

“Hyunjin.” Seungmin says, frowning at Jinyoung for even _thinking _otherwise. He puts an arm around Hyunjin the boy. “Ms. Ko loves Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin swallows. “She’s scary.”

“I’ll go with you.” Seungmin says.

“No, you stay here.” Jinyoung says sternly. “We still have to uh… return you to your family.”

Hyunjin looks at Seungmin, whose easygoing smile suddenly disappears. He doesn’t want to _return_ Seungmin, just as much as Seungmin doesn’t want to be returned.

Hyunjin taps the side of Seungmin’s hand sheepishly, asking him for permission.

Seungmin nods, and Hyunjin takes his hand.

They hop out of the car before Jinyoung can even reach around to stop them.

“Dammit.” Jinyoung mutters, watching them run across the street without so much as bothering to look left or right.

Mark lays a hand on Jinyoung’s seatbelt buckle, blocking Jinyoung from undoing it. “Let them distract the old lady.”

“Whose side are you on?” Jinyoung scrunches his nose up at Mark.

Mark scoffs. “Reason, maybe?”

“Screw you.”

“Hey Ms. Ko!” Hyunjin says, waving so enthusiastically that Seungmin laughs.

The elderly woman turns to them with a sharp, disapproving look, the nozzle of her mister pointed right at them. Seungmin ducks safely behind Hyunjin’s frame.

Her expression softens suddenly, when it seems that Hyunjin’s close enough to come into focus. “Oh, hello Hyunjinnie. Why are you not at school?”

“Uh, good morning, Ms. Ko,” Hyunjin says, with a deep bow that surprises Seungmin. “We just got back from Seoul.”

The woman’s face wrinkles into something akin to a disgruntled sultana. “And just _what_ were you doing there?”

“We went to watch my friend’s baseball match.” Hyunjin tries to hook an arm around Seungmin’s shoulders, but he miscalculates and gets him by the neck instead. “He’s a national baseball champion. He beat the whole country, Ms. Ko, you should’ve seen it!”

“Oh, congratulations, dear,” Ms. Ko says, giving Seungmin a broad smile.

“Thank you, ma’am.” Seungmin says, holding Hyunjin’s arm a safe distance from choking him by accident.

“I just finished making a lemon cake, would you boys like to have some?”

Hyunjin nods like he’s trying to shake something out of his hair. “Yes, please!”

Ms. Ko gives him the sort of crinkly-eyed smile you often see older people give children, right before they pinch their cheeks. Hyunjin edges away in anticipation.

“I’ll go on ahead and cut you two slices.” Ms. Ko says, wiping her gardening gloves on the front of her pants. She grins to herself. “Such nice boys.”

The second she enters the stairwell, Hyunjin and Seungmin face back to the car to hold up two OK symbols.

“You don’t even like lemon cake.” Seungmin murmurs.

“You’ll eat my slice anyway,” Hyunjin says. “More for you.”

“Good point.”

Jimin’s trying to sneak out the side door of the house, but she’s never been good at being quiet, and her suitcase isn’t making things any easier.

She stops when she has to step aside to let two men carry in a cake. Jimin cranes her neck to read what’s written on the cake in bright green icing.

_Congratulations!_

Jimin watches the men carry the cake into the house’s larger dining room. _This can’t be good._

She leans her suitcase against the wall and storms into the dining room. Aside from studio lights and cameras, the table’s been set for a party, and a freshly-printed tarpaulin, still smelling of hot plastic and ink, is hanging on the wall in lieu of the usual Italian countryside oil painting.

_Congratulations on the National Baseball Championship, S____ High Growling Bears_! The tarpaulin reads. There’s an outdated picture of Seungmin on one end, carrying a T-ball bat, and a similarly outdated photo of Seungmin’s mom on the other side. _That or she’s been retouched to an inch of her life. She’s as smooth as a fucking grape._

_Speak of the devil… _Jimin’s entire day is ruined for the fourth time that day when Seungmin’s mom sweeps into the dining room in a fur-lined dressing gown.

“The kitchen’s through that door, have them store that in the refrigerator,” Seungmin’s mom says, brushing the two men carrying the cake off in some vague direction. She notices Jimin standing by the opposite door, opens her mouth to say something, then gets distracted by her own reflection in the imitation Versailles ballroom mirrored wall.

Jimin crosses her arms. “What’s going on?”

“Oh, Jimin-ah, I hope you have _something_ nice to wear tonight,” Seungmin’s mom says, in that tone that makes Jimin really want to rip Her Majesty’s extensions out. “We’re having a party for Seungminnie.”

Jimin steps out of the way of a few production assistants adjusting one of the lights. _What are _they_ still doing here?_ “You’re not mad at him?”

“What?” Seungmin’s mom gasps. Jimin has no idea how she managed to get _any_ work as an actress. “Of course not, _Jimin-ah_, we’re very proud of him.”

Jimin lifts an eyebrow. “For breaking a window and running away?”

Her Majesty’s lips wobble slightly, but her smile doesn’t crack. Jimin’s a little bit impressed.

Felix wonders if it’s normal to suddenly remember how hot your boyfriend looks like naked when you’re just trying to remember the code to your locker.

“Hey, Felix!”

Felix jumps guiltily, falling out of his squat and onto his butt. He tries to straighten himself up, his ears burning bright red. “O- Oh, hey, what’s up?”

“We really missed you last weekend,” Hyunjoon says, leaning on the lockers.

“Yeah, it was a fucking riot.” Jisung says.

“It’s cool I, uh, I saw your stories,” Felix says. In all honesty, he didn’t see much from Hyunjoon’s stories, but he heard more than he can ever forget.

“Oh, crap, _those_.” Hyunjin shudders. “Sorry about that, they cracked out the alcohol and it was bye-bye Hyunjoon’s sanity.”

“Hyunjoon’s sanity? Never met her.” Jisung scoffs.

He ducks out of the way when Hyunjoon tries to slap him. “Fuck you, whore-”

“Who’s the one who was hitting on every damn-”

“That was _you_, you useless piece of-”

Felix manages to remember his locker code and open his locker.

Usually, he’d be talking to Changbin at this time, but all the seniors are on a two-day break before their final exams later in the week. So he doesn’t mind Jisung and Hyunjoon’s company instead, but it’s just weird enough to make Felix wonder.

_Do they know? _

Felix frowns at himself. He’s not even sure what he’s trying to hide from them at this point. _The dance club? _

_Of course, the dance club._

Felix tucks his books under one arm and closes the locker quickly. “So, uh, I’ll see you guys around, yeah?”

“We’ve got training later.” Jisung says with a little frown.

“Oh… right.” Felix avoids their eyes, pretending to be very interested in the tiles on the floor. “I, uh…”

He realizes can’t come up with excuses as quickly as Changbin can.

“You weren’t at training last week, right?” Hyunjoon asks.

“No, I was uh, I was busy.” Felix tries not to grimace at himself.

“Oh yeah, ‘cause we voted for the new captain last week.” Jisung says.

“Oh.” Felix nods vaguely. “Who won?”

“No one _yet_,” Hyunjoon says with just a few ounces of bitterness. “We’re still waiting on your vote.”

“Everyone in the team gets a say, because we’re all going to have to listen to whoever wins next year,” Jisung says.

“You won’t _have_ to listen to someone with natural leadership.”

“Heo Hyunjoon, hate to break it to you, but you are not the Bang Chan you think you are.”

“Fuck you, bitch.”

Felix realizes he’s looking at two incoming seniors. _Oh._

“I, uh…” Felix values his life, but the only other junior he can think of is Park Hyunjin, and no way in _hell_ is he going to vote for Hyunjin as captain. _I guess I’m just petty that way._

A sudden, uncomfortable thought creeps into Felix’s mind just then.

_Maybe you shouldn’t vote._

Felix frowns.

“You don’t have to tell us your vote,” Hyunjoon assures Felix.

“Yeah, just tell Coach Wang later during training.” Jisung says.

The bell rings before Felix can even begin to invent an excuse.

“See you later, dude!” Jisung says.

“See ya!” Hyunjoon says.

“Yeah.” Felix says, before he can stop himself. _Oh shit. _

“It’s non-negotiable, Hyunjin!”

Hyunjin pouts. “But hyung-”

“It’s! Non! Negotiable!” Jinyoung says, chopping the air into little boxes with his hands to punctuate each word. “I’m already letting you cut class today, don’t push it-”

“Jinyoung.”

Jinyoung takes a deep breath, turning very slowly. “Yes?”

Mark’s sitting on the edge of the kitchen counter, drinking the last of their yogurt sodas without bothering to ask. “Can we talk for a minute?”

Jinyoung looks back at Hyunjin, who’s got this annoying triumphant look on his face. Even Seungmin, who had been hanging around the bookshelf scuffing his socks on the floor while the Parks argued, starts looking a little too relieved.

“Jinyoung.” Mark says again. He doesn’t raise his voice, but he never needs to, anyway.

“Fine.” Jinyoung crosses his arms, following Mark into the pocket not-garden. “What is it?”

Mark slides the door shut behind him, taking a whiff of the stale late afternoon air. “Jimin texted me. She’s been trying to call you for hours.”

“Shit.” Jinyoung starts to sweat. His phone had run out of battery a couple hours earlier. “What did she say? Did Seungmin’s parents call the police? Are they going to-”

“No.” Mark starts laughing, reaching out to give Jinyoung’s arms a reassuring rub. “Chill out, okay?”

“I can’t chill out, Seungmin’s parents seem _insane-”_

“Yeah, seems like it- Jesus Christ, Jinyoung, relax,” Mark flicks Jinyoung lightly on the chest. “It’s okay. They’re not mad at Seungmin.”

“How do you know that?”

“Jimin said so. They’re throwing a party for the Bears tonight.”

Jinyoung practically collapses against the nearest wall. “Oh, thank god.”

“And, uh…” Mark tilts his head, gauging Jinyoung’s expression carefully. “You and Hyunjin are invited.”

Jinyoung stares at Mark. “Don’t joke about that. That’s not funny.”

“I’m not.” Mark says with a grimace. “Seungmin’s parents want to meet you.”

“I know a fucking trap when I see one.”

Mark sighs, putting his hands on Jinyoung’s shoulders. “Do you want me to come with you?”

“No. Go if you want. I won’t, and neither will Hyunjin.” Jinyoung scoffs. “How stupid do they think we are?”

“It seems like the non-negotiable kind of invitation, babe.”

“Don’t use that word against me.”

“I thought I’d find you here.”

“Oh. Hello.” Felix doesn’t bother stopping the music. He usually flies across the room to hit pause, but knowing that Changbin’s not in school today has made him a bit lazy about covering things up.

Yeji closes the door to the dance studio behind her, nodding along to the music.

“What are you doing here?” Felix asks.

“I was going to ask you the same thing.” Yeji says. “Since our competition’s over.”

“Nothing.” Felix says, a little too quickly.

Yeji doesn’t say anything, but she tilts her head and gives him a look that silently says, _Bullshit._

“Fine.” Felix says, walking over to turn the music off once and for all. “I’m hiding from the other guys.”

“Ah.” Yeji reaches for the barre with one hand, stretching one leg out in front of her. “Are those assholes giving you trouble again?”

Felix looks up from his phone.

“I’m sorry I didn’t do anything back then.” Yeji says, stretching her toes out vaguely in front of her. “We weren’t close, and I thought that I would just make things worse if I tried to… Yeah, that’s no excuse. Sorry.”

“It’s cool.” Felix says.

“Look, I mean, I _know_ Seo Changbin’s got your back and he’s like a one-man cavalry,” Yeji says. If she notices Felix’s face reddening, she doesn’t react. “But if anyone tries to give you any shit like, next year, you just let me know, okay?”

_Next year. _Felix doesn’t even want to think about the rest of this week.

“Thanks, Yeji.” Felix says, feeling like he took too long to reply this time. “Same goes for you, too.”

“Oh, I’d like to see them _try_ giving me a hard time.” Yeji scoffs.

Felix laughs. Just the idea of someone trying to bully Yeji is hilarious. _All this time I thought she was on the other side._

Yeji sits down against the mirror, flattening her skirt over the jogging pants she’s wearing underneath. She looks up at Felix with an eager smile.

Felix gives her a wary look. “What are you… looking at?”

“Oh, don’t mind me, keep practicing,” Yeji says, waving her hands as if she’s erasing a chalkboard as quickly as she can. She wiggles giddily in her seat. “I just like watching.”

Felix rolls his eyes, but he scrubs back to the start of the song. “Fine, but you’re still not allowed to tell anyone about it.”

“Not even Changbin.” Yeji crosses a finger over her heart. “Don’t worry.”

Seungmin is quiet the entire car ride.

_Actually, he’s been quiet all day._

Seungmin had been quiet during lunch, when Jinyoung had told them about the weird-ass party Seungmin’s parents were throwing. He’d been quiet all afternoon, lying on the rug next to Hyunjin wile they read some of Jinyoung’s crumbly mystery novels.

Hyunjin reaches across the space between them, tapping the top of Seungmin’s hand for permission.

Seungmin looks at Hyunjin, both eyebrows raised.

‘Are you scared?’ Hyunjin mouths.

Seungmin shakes his head. ‘Not as scared as you should be.’

Hyunjin sighs. _As usual, Seungmin’s right._

Seungmin flexes his fingers as he turns to the window, catching his pinky finger on Hyunjin’s.

Hyunjin twines their fingers together, gripping Seungmin’s hand tightly.

Seungmin keeps looking out the window, but he doesn’t let go.

“I don’t like this,” Jinyoung says, rolling the car to a stop behind a long line of cars and vans parked from Seungmin’s house to the end of the block. “I don’t like this at all.”

Seungmin gently pries his hand free from Hyunjin’s.

“You don’t have to come.” He says, for probably the hundredth time that day.

Jinyoung, for probably the hundredth time that day, looks inclined to agree.

“No.” Hyunjin says firmly. “We’ve got your back, Seungmin.”

“Huh.” Jackson says, looking over the Weevils with a deep frown. “Where are all the others?”

“Um…” Jisung looks left and right, but there’s not much to see. “The Parks-”

“-have a family thing, I know.” Jackson takes his cap off, running a hand anxiously through his immaculately-styled hair. “What about the rest?”

“The seniors are taking the week off to focus on their finals.”

Jackson has to do a double take, because it looks like Lee Felix is jogging onto the field to join the other boys. _Huh_.

“Oh, yeah, _right_!” Hyunjoon snaps. “We forgot about that, Coach.”

“It’s their finals week already?” Jackson asks.

“Yeah,” Felix says. “Their exams start on Wednesday.”

_Imagine that, _Jackson thinks with a little smile. _Felix delivering excuses for Changbin for a change._

“Well, let’s keep them in our prayers, then.” Jackson says.

“You pray, Coach?” Jisung asks.

Jackson looks at Jisung for a moment. “Never mind what I said. Let’s cross our fingers and toes for them and hope for the best.”

A couple of the handful of boys in front of him _do_ cross their fingers and, Jackson presumes, though their cleats hide the fact from him, their toes as well.

“How many laps today, Coach?” Dongpyo asks, all his fingers still crossed.

“Just…” Jackson shrugs. “Ten should do it.”

“_Just_ ten_._” Hyunjoon and Jisung exchange tired glances.

Jackson frowns at them. “The sooner you start it-”

“-the sooner we finish, we know, Coach.”

Jackson laughs as the boys start dragging their feet through the grass. “Wait, Felix, could I talk to you for a minute?”

Felix whirls around, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. “Me?”

“Yeah.”

“Seungminnie!”

Hyunjin doesn’t know what he’s expecting Seungmin’s mom to be like. _She’s just like Seungmin. But also not. At all. _

Seungmin visibly flinches when his mom hugs him. Hyunjin notices how long her nails are. They’re like teeth closing around Seungmin. Hyunjin wonders vaguely how she picks her nose with nails like that.

“Oh don’t bother with that, the maids will take care of it,” Seungmin’s mom says, snapping her fingers at the nearest unsuspecting maid to get Seungmin’s duffel bag from him.

_Oh. She can still snap her fingers. Interesting. _

“These must be your _friends_,” Seungmin’s mom says, one arm around Seungmin’s shoulders as she turns to look at Hyunjin and his brother. She smiles at them like she’s going to eat them.

Hyunjin swallows. _I take it back. She looks nothing like Seungmin. _

“This is Coach Park,” Seungmin says, gesturing at Jinyoung first. “And this is his brother Park Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin, for once, is glad that her eyes seem to get stuck on his older brother.

“Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Park.” Seungmin’s mom says, extending a hand to Jinyoung. “It was _so_ kind of you to bring our Seungminnie to Seoul for his game.”

“Yuh… You’re welcome, _ma’am_.” Jinyoung says, shaking the woman’s hand with all the grace of a rusted-over robot.

“I’m afraid my husband won’t be home for another hour,” Seungmin’s mom says. “So you won’t meet him until then.”

Hyunjin has no idea why she would offer that information.

“A- Are the other boys here yet?” Jinyoung asks, plastering on a bland smile. “Coach Yoo?”

“No, I don’t think so.” Seungmin’s mom turns to Hyunjin. _Oh crap. _“You’ve never been here before, have you, Hyunjin?”

Hyunjin shakes his head quickly. “No, ma’am.”

“Seungmin, why don’t you show Hyunjin around the garden? It’s quite lovely this time of year.”

Jinyoung turns to Seungmin with visible panic in his eyes. Hyunjin knows it means, _Don’t you dare leave me alone with this woman, Kim Seungmin_, but he feels he doesn’t need to translate.

“Sure.” Seungmin says. “You like flowers too, don’t you, Coach Park? And men?”

“Yes. I love men.” Jinyoung says tensely, edging away from Seungmin’s mom. That seems to do the trick. Seungmin leads the Park brothers out of the room, leaving his mom with nothing but a disgruntled look on her stiff face.

“So that’s how it is?”

Felix lowers his head. “Yeah.”

He looks up at Coach Wang, trying to judge whether he’s angry or Deeply Disappointed – from experience, Felix enjoys the latter much less.

But Coach Wang looks weirdly relieved.

“Well I can’t say that I’m happy about this,” Coach Wang says. “But I guess things are the way they are, and we’ll just have to make the best of it, right?”

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. It’s the risk you run when you give people freedom,” Coach Wang stops and makes a face at himself. “That sounded evil, didn’t it?”

Felix pinches two fingers together. “Just a little bit, Coach.”

Coach Wang sighs. “I’ll uh, I’ll talk to Jin- Coach Park about it. And we’ll tell the other guys when we’re all together.”

“Now that we’re all here,” Coach Yoo says, looking at all the boys around the dining table with a smile that’s so gentle it makes Seungmin smile, too. “Our captain has something he’d like to say.”

Seungmin’s smile cracks and vanishes into thin air. He gives Minho a warning glance, looking pointedly at the cameraman in the corner of the room, then back at the captain.

Minho gives him a pancake syrup-sweet smile. He stands up and raises his glass. He seems to think for a second, before downing the entire glass of liquid that most definitely is not alcohol-free.

_Oh god. Here we go. _

Seungmin had hoped that his teammates would churn out nothing but NG footage, to mess up his mom’s show. But he had also, at the same time, been hoping that a certain Lee Minho would behave himself.

Said Lee Minho climbs up on his chair, while the rest of their teammates clap and cheer.

Seungmin’s mom, sitting at the safest end of the table, flanked by the two coaches, opens her mouth, probably to say something about the chair being made of real mahogany.

“We are gathered today because of one person, and one person alone,”

Seungmin frowns at their captain.

“His name is Kim Seungmin.” Minho says, with a grin so toothy that only a dentist would appreciate it. “A toast to Seungmin, who single-handedly saved our asses in the last two innings and won us the championship!”

The Bears all laugh, but lift their glasses obediently when Minho shoots them a stern look.

Seungmin sighs and lifts his glass of water a millimeter off the table. He can see where this is going.

“So it is _only fitting_,” Minho announces – that’s the only word for it, if not _proclaims. _“That the next captain of the 7-time national champion team is none other than…”

Seungmin notices the camera swivel towards him. He manages a mildly disgusted grimace.

“Kim Seungmin!” Minho waves his glass in Seungmin’s direction with so much bravado that some of the condensation on the glass flicks into Seungmin’s face. “THE OLD CAPTAIN IS DEAD! LONG LIVE KIM SEUNGMIN!”

“THE OLD CAPTAIN IS DEAD!” The Bears cheer, drumming their forks and knives on the (mahogany) table until Seungmin’s mom face takes on a strange greenish color. “LONG LIVE KIM SEUNGMIN!”

“THE OLD CAPTAIN IS DEAD!” Coach Yoo joins in, laughing even though her mouth his half-full of carbonara.

“LONG LIVE KIM SEUNGMIN!” Coach Park laughs, banging his fists on his corner of the (mahogany) table.

“THE OLD CAPTAIN IS DEAD!”

“LONG LIVE KIM SEUNGMIN!”

Seungmin folds his arms over the table, burying his face in his empty plate.

“Felix? You okay?”

Felix pauses the music as he scrambles off the floor and to the door. “I- I’m fine, Pops!”

“You sure? That sounded like it hurt.”

Felix lifts his pajama sleeve to look at his elbow. There’s a welt beginning to darken to purple. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Okay.” Felix’s papa says, sounding like he’s shrugging, too. “Don’t stay up too late, okay?”

“Yes, Pops. Good night!”

“Good night, Felix, love you.”

Felix listens for the tell-tale click of the door to his dads’ room closing. Then he picks up his earbuds from where they’d ended up on the floor when he fell. He scrubs back to the start of the song, kicking things out of his way on the floor as he gets into position.

Seungmin watches the last of the production crew’s cars start up and drive off down the street. The clock on his bedside table reads 12:04 AM. _I have to wake up for school in 6 hours._

But Seungmin can’t sleep.

It’s not that he isn’t tired. He hasn’t been able to get more than six hours of sleep total for the past two nights, and he pushed himself just a bit too far in the game yesterday – oh no, _two days ago_. His limbs haven’t stopped screaming at him since then.

_I’m too disgusted to sleep._

Someone knocks on his door.

Seungmin sighs as he gets off the ottoman. He touches the doorknob, but he’s not sure he wants to open it. _Who could it be?_

They knock again, whoever it is.

Seungmin leans against the door. He can’t hear anything. If it were his mom, she would have been shouting at him already. If it were his dad, he would have just opened the door after the first knock. If it were Jimin – _No, noona’s gone home already._

“Seungmin? Are you sleeping?”

Seungmin frowns, opening the door out of curiosity more than anything else. “What are you still doing here?”

“My stupid sister was supposed to pick us up an hour ago, so Coach Yoo and I managed to wring a few drinks out of your dad.” Minho grins. His cheeks are flushed all the way to his ears. “Total lightweight, your old man. Also he’s a complete asshole and I didn’t feel bad letting him pass out on the marble.”

Seungmin steps aside. He’s pretty sure there’s some good advice out there about not letting drunk people into your bedroom, but he doesn’t remember it just now.

Minho quickly finds the minifridge, though it’s encased in a cabinet to match Seungmin’s teak desk. The senior makes a face when he opens it to find nothing but two bottles of water and one of plain milk. “Every time I think you can’t get more boring, you really gotta surprise me, right?”

Seungmin folds his arms. “What did my parents give you to make me captain?”

“Hm?” Minho asks, getting comfortable on the carpet while he cracks the milk open. “Whaddaya mean?”

“It was scripted, wasn’t it? Making me captain?”

Minho takes a long sip of milk, screwing the cap on in silence while Seungmin waits for his reply.

_The next morning_

Felix is starting to get uncomfortably sweaty, but he’s not about to crack. He keeps his hoodie on while he buys lunch from the cafeteria (his dads had overslept and weren’t able to pack him a lunch).

“Isn’t it hot, dude?”

Felix just nods, holding onto the edge of his hoodie sleeve as he reaches for a carton of milk, so the sleeve doesn’t ride up.

Ryujin leans in. “Are you practicing the _Secret Dance_ again today?”

“Ryujin, if you announce it to everyone, how secret is it?” Yeji mutters. She catches a sharp look from Felix. “Sorry, she wrung it out of me.”

“Like a towel,” Ryujin says triumphantly. She nudges Felix. “Well? Are you?”

Felix thinks about it for a minute. _On the one hand, if I let the girls hang around me, they might figure out… On the other hand, will I really be able to stop them?_

“Yeah, but please keep it down. Please.”

Ryujin and Yeji cross their hands over their hearts in such perfect sync that Felix has to laugh.

Felix manages to get through one runthrough of the routine before he’s sweated right through his shirt to his hoodie.

“Isn’t it too hot for that?” Ryujin asks again, tossing him his water tumbler.

“I, uh… It’s fine.” Felix glances at his reflection in the dance studio mirror. He looks like a strawberry. Any more of this stupid hoodie-wearing shit, I’m going to look like… dead.

“Just take it off,” Yeji laughs. “You don’t have anything to hide from us.”

Ryujin raises her hand. “I have zero interest in men.”

“Gee, I never noticed.” Felix says. He grips the edge of his hoodie. _Okay, they’re right. This is stupid. I can’t even get through the dance properly because I’m fucking melting._

Felix peels the hoodie off and tosses it aside on the floor. He walks over to restart the song, but someone catches him by the arm.

It’s Yeji, frowning at the bruise on his arm, which is now a deep purple color. “Who-”

“No one did this to me, I was just being stupid.” Felix yanks his arm back, starting the track.

Ryujin’s gotten to her feet. “Who was it? Give me a name and address-”

“No one! It was no one!” Felix grumbles. “I slipped and fell while practicing last night, and I had to cover it up because I knew everyone would think that I was being bullied because I’m a fucking loser and of course that’s what everyone would think.”

He realizes the girls have backed away from him, their brows furrowed in deep concern. He sighs.

“I know it sounds like bullshit, but I really did slip while practicing.” Felix says.

Ryujin’s mouth wobbles to one side. “You’re pretty fucking serious about this routine, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” Felix finds himself admitting. He doesn’t know why. _Maybe I’m more exhausted than I think I am._

“Why?” Yeji asks. 

Felix’s shoulders cave. Actually, Felix’s everything caves. “It’s for an audition. I have an audition this Thursday.”

He doesn’t like the way their eyes light up when he says that. But he doesn’t have any control over what happens now. _I told them._

_Why the hell did I tell them?_

Felix sinks back against the mirror.

_The night before_

“Well?” Seungmin huffs. “Did my parents pay you guys off or blackmail you or-”

“Dude.” Minho looks up at Seungmin, but barely so. “Everyone voted you captain. It was unanimous.”

“Bullshit.”

Minho rolls his eyes. He pops the half-empty bottle of milk back into the minifridge, slamming it shut before he rises unsteadily to his feet. “You know you’re the most annoying person ever?”

Seungmin snorts. “That’s you, Minho.”

“No, no, I’m like, superficially annoying. I’m loud and rude and that’s annoying but just on the surface level.” Minho says, leaning on one of Seungmin’s bookshelves to steady himself. “You’re like, _profoundly _annoying.”

“Has anyone ever told you that your vocabulary improves when you’re drunk?” Seungmin says. “Because it-”

“Shut up.” Minho says, covering one ear like Seungmin’s too loud (he isn’t). “You know what makes you really, really annoying?”

“No. I don’t.”

“Well, I’m gonna tell you, because you need to know.” Minho shakes his head like he’s trying to shake water out of one ear. “You’re not selfish enough.”

Seungmin just folds his arms tighter, watching Minho stumble onto the ottoman. Minho’s hanging over the ottoman facedown, like nothing more than a stuffed toy.

“If _my_ boyfriend had gone and fucked Seo Changbin-”

“They didn’t.” Seungmin cuts in. “They didn’t… do _that_.”

“Is that what they told you? Sure.” Minho chortles. “Anyway, have a little self-respect, Seungmin.”

Seungmin scoffs, leaning against the bookshelf as he watches Minho flop around on the ottoman like a beached fish. “This is coming from a guy who’s _this_ close to passing out on my carpet?”

“Doesn’t matter who it’s coming from, it’s good advice.” Minho manages to flop onto his back to shoot an accusatory sneer in Seungmin’s direction. “You’re a person who’s worth…”

“I hope you’re about to say a number with a lot of zeroes.”

“You’re worth _it_, Seungmin.” Minho frowns. “It makes me sick that you would even _think_ you don’t deserve to be something as _trivial_ as captain of the baseball team.”

Seungmin looks out the window self-consciously.

“I know everything you have has been stolen or cheated off someone else because your parents really ain’t shit…” Minho’s words start to slur into each other.

Seungmin nudges Minho with one hand. “Hey. Don’t fall asleep here.”

“You’re gonna be a great captain, Seungmin. Everyone- Everyone who _matters_ loves you, if you’d just fucking notice.”

Seungmin sighs. “Thanks-”

Minho begins to snore.

“Shit.” Seungmin shakes him by the arm. “Hey, wake up. Minho. Lee Minho.”

Someone knocks on the door.

Seungmin groans and walks over, opening it. _It can’t be anyone worse than an intoxicated Minho._

“Hi, sorry, have you seen Minho?” Coach Yoo asks. Her face is completely red, down to the neck, and she smells like a barrel of whisky from an entire meter away. “His sister’s here to pick us up.”

Seungmin nods back at the slumped figure on the ottoman. All Coach Yoo can see from the doorway is Minho’s ass in the air.

“God, he’s so embarrassing,” Coach Yoo says, shielding her face with one hand – from whom, Seungmin can’t fathom. “You wouldn’t believe what he said to your parents.”

Seungmin doesn’t need to say that yes, he would believe it.

“He told them that you must be adopted,” A guilty smile spreads across the coach’s lips. “Because there’s no way they could take credit for someone like you.”

Seungmin looks back at the lump of a human being currently sliding off the ottoman and onto the floor.

_Thanks, Minho._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy 2nd birthday stays!!! don't touch me i'm so emotional i love the stray kids
> 
> **also! starting next week the updates will be on sundays!**


	60. For keeping ❤

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Monday _

“Audition?” Ryujin asks. “What for?”

Felix wishes he could turn time back a couple seconds and just un-say what he just said. _If I had that power… I would probably have abused it by now and become a supervillain and I would only see the error of my ways after losing everyone I love and then-_

“Are you trying out for a theater thing?” Yeji asks. “Are there even shows here?”

“Yeah, there are.” Felix says. “The university’s got an ongoing _Anything Goes _production.”

“But that’s not where you’re going?” Ryujin asks.

“Where _are_ you going?” Yeji asks.

Felix finds himself literally backed into a corner. He’s been bullied a couple of times in his life, but he’s never felt as threatened as he does now, with Yeji and Ryujin just staring at him like _that_. 

_I’m not scared, _Felix realizes. _I feel guilty. That’s what it is._

Felix sighs. He can’t think of a way out of this one, so he figures he’d better just stop trying.

“It’s for a performing arts school.” Felix says quietly. “In Seoul.”

_Tuesday_

Changbin jolts awake when he hears two gentle knocks on his door. He realizes he’s left a trail of drool all over his math book. “Yeah?”

His dad opens the door a crack. “What time do you wanna have lunch?”

“Oh.” Changbin checks the time on his phone. “Oh crap, have you been waiting?”

Changbin’s dad nods.

“You can go eat ahead, Dad, I’ll just finish this…” Changbin looks down at the smudged text on his book. “This chapter.”

“Okay.” Changbin’s dad says, backing sheepishly out of the crack in the door.

Changbin’s just gone back to wondering what he had been doing before falling asleep when the door opens again.

“Oh, and I know you’re busy,” Changbin’s dad mumbles. “But could you start putting your stuff out later? I’ll take them to the donation place later this afternoon.”

“Okay, will do, Dad.”

“Thanks.” Changbin’s dad retreats again, closing the door almost inaudibly – save for the loud creaks of the hinges – after him.

Changbin picks his textbook up and props it up in front of the electric fan, in the hopes that it’ll dry out faster that way. Then he starts going through the boxes stacked up in his room. 

_For giving_, he’d written in marker on some of them. He and his dad were moving from an apartment to a single bedroom in a boarding house, which meant that Changbin was finally letting go of a lot of the things he should’ve given away long ago.

He stops and picks up a small cardboard box that, from the print on the outside, used to hold yogurt soda. It’s not been taped shut like the others, but chicken-scratch writing all over the top flaps reads,

> _KEEP THESE OR ELSE!!! - Lix_

_Sunday_

“It’s like it fucking _vanished_!” Felix whines, pushing a precariously built 3-story tower of boxes aside.

Changbin reaches out and stops the boxes with one hand before they tumble onto Felix’s back. “Sorry, everything’s a mess right now.”

“Really? I didn’t notice,” Felix mutters, crawling between two stacks of boxes. He sits up with an exasperated sigh. “Maybe I’ll just go home without a shirt.”

Changbin laughs, sitting on the dusty floor next to him. He tugs at the hem of his t-shirt on Felix. Changbin had never paid any attention to it, it being one of probably five oversized gray shirts Changbin has, but he likes the way it hangs from Felix’s shoulders. “You look good like this. Maybe you should just keep my shirt.”

“Maybe I kind of _don’t_ want my parents to think I’m slutting it up at the ripe age of 15,” Felix says, rolling his eyes.

Changbin smirks. “I’m sure they know you better than that.”

“No, they think I’m a baby. They won’t even let me cross the fucking street on my own!” Felix throws his arms out in exasperation, knocking a nearby skyscraper of boxes over. “Ow.”

Changbin digs through the boxes to extract his boyfriend, laughing all the while. _Ridiculous. _

One of the boxes seems to have come to pieces after hitting Felix on the head.

“Are you okay?” Changbin asks, trying to brush the mess aside.

Felix catches Changbin by the hand, picking up the notebook that had fallen into his lap with the other. “What’s this?”

Changbin’s ears get warm when he realizes what Felix is holding. “No! Don’t look at that!”

Felix pushes Changbin away with one foot, stretching his arms far out of Changbin’s reach as he flips through the pages of the notebook. “Holy shit, Changbin-”

“STOP!” Changbin begs, clawing at Felix’s feet, which are keeping him pinned to the opposite wall (the room is only so wide). “Close your eyes! Stop looking! Erase your memory! Forget-”

Felix keeps flipping through the notebook, his grin only growing wider and wider. “How old were you when you made this?”

“I don’t know, second grade?” Changbin shudders just catching glimpses of the notebook’s godforsaken pages. “Please stop.”

“Okay, fine,” Felix says, closing the notebook. He looks up at Changbin, only marginally less amused. “Sorry. Are you mad at me?”

Changbin sighs. _What a stupid question._

He doesn’t say anything as he crawls across the floor to sit in Felix’s lap. Felix doesn’t seem surprised in the least when he does, wrapping his arms around Changbin from behind like it’s no more unusual to him than breathing.

“There are better ones.” Changbin says, reaching for one of the other notebooks that had fallen out of the disintegrated box.

“I would like to see them all, thanks.” Felix laughs, kissing Changbin behind the ear before peering over Changbin’s shoulder at the notebook. He rests his chin on Changbin’s shoulder. “These are really fucking good, you know?”

“This one’s from sixth grade,” Changbin says. “So I hope it’s better than that other one.”

“All of them are good.” Felix murmurs against Changbin’s ear, tickling him. Felix laughs. “Okay, maybe not _that_ one.”

_Tuesday_

Changbin opens the yogurt box. Inside, stacked in neat piles, are the math notebooks he’d repurposed into sketch pads from the first grade until the year before. He had never taken notes in math class, but he liked the grids printed on the pages for drawing. Changbin takes one out at random. In it, like the others, were sketch after sketch of buildings in the town, cars that had ended up in his dad’s shop, and the occasional (failed) attempt at a person.

Changbin laughs at the horrible creature on one page, with an eggplant where a person should have a nose. _My best friend Chan_, a label reads above the drawing, with an arrow pointing down at the creature for clarity.

On the opposite page is an even more unfortunate creature, with large teeth covered in unsightly cross-hatching that Changbin realizes are supposed to be braces. _My other best friend (I have 2!!) Jisung_, the creature’s label reads.

Changbin closes the notebook, placing it back into the box. He’s pushing the notebooks with one hand to align them when he notices something at the bottom of the box.

Changbin lifts all the notebooks out and finds a post-it stuck to the floor of the box.

_Seo Changbin I swear to god if you even THINK of throwing these away I am going to break up with you FOREVER, _the note reads, in Felix’s rushed, lazy scribble.

Changbin laughs, stacking the notebooks back into the box. He presses the post-it on top, then closes the box. He reaches for the packaging tape and a marker, labeling it, _For keeping _♥.

Felix puts his spoon down to check his phone. There aren’t any new messages, not that he’s expecting any. _Changbin’s busy studying. Or packing. Or both._

Felix has moved around enough times to know not to distract a person in the middle of the gruesome task of packing.

“Anything of interest happen at school today, Felix?” Felix’s dad asks, between gnawing on a spare rib bone.

“Nope.” Felix replies on instinct, placing his phone face-down on the table.

Felix’s papa wipes his hands on a table napkin. “Oh, about Thursday-”

“What about it?” Felix asks, his heart drumming around in his chest. _Do they know? How do they know? Who was it? Who told them?_

Felix’s papa frowns at him. “What?”

“Oh.” Felix blushes deeply, looking down at his dinner. “Sorry.”

“Anyway,” Felix’s papa says, but he hasn’t stopped looking at Felix with a top-tier Concerned look. “The Kangs have to move out sooner than they thought, so we’ll be having their send-off party on Thursday instead of Sunday.”

“Ah, shit, _Thursday_?” Felix’s dad scowls. “What time Thursday?”

“Why?” Felix’s papa asks. “Are we doing something on Thursday?”

“Are we?” Felix asks.

“The tickets I got for the uni’s _Anything Goes_ are for this Thursday.” Felix’s dad says.

“Matinee or gala?” Felix’s papa asks.

Felix picks up his glass to take a nervous sip of water.

“Gala.” Felix’s dad says. “I don’t want to head straight from class, so I got the later one.”

“Oh, good.” Felix’s papa says. “What time are you off on Thursday, Felix? Do you have training?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll be by a little earlier to pick you up so you can shower and stuff before the show,” Felix’s dad says. 

“Okay.”

_Wednesday_

Changbin looks around his room. He’s down to six boxes, which is still probably too much for the place they’re moving to at the end of the week, but he doesn’t know how he’d live with less.

Changbin takes a deep breath. His room smells a bit like the pipe chase outside his window (not that great), but he’s committing it to memory.

He steps out into the hallway. “Hey, Dad, I’m going.”

Changbin’s dad looks at the clock on the wall, only to realize that it’s already been packed away. “What time is it? Do you want me to drive you-”

“I’m fine, I’ll still make it to the early bus.” Changbin adjusts his shirt. He hopes his homeroom teacher doesn’t give him shit for coming in without ironing his shirt first, but his dad had already packed the iron away, and neither of them could remember where.

Changbin finds himself committing the squat, peeling buildings around their apartment to memory. _You should be committing formulas to memory, dumbass, _he chides himself, grinning at his reflection in the bus window.

“Changbin!” Mina yells, grabbing him by the arm as soon as he steps into the classroom. “Help!”

“What’s up?” Changbin asks, frowning slightly.

“The formula for potential energy of a spring is ½kx2, right, not just ½kx?”

Changbin nods.

“HA!” Mina slaps Chanhee on the arm. “I’m right!”

Chanhee pouts. “But the answer key I got for this problem said that it was-”

“Who are you going to trust, some dumb answer key, or Seo Changbin?” Mina asks, folding her arms as she walks up to Chanhee, like she’s about to start a fight despite him being a whole head taller than her.

“Seo Changbin, point taken.” Chanhee laughs, nudging Mina away from him with one finger.

Mina frowns down at the finger currently pointing at her sternum. “Do you crave death, babe, is that it?”

“Sorry,” Chanhee grins at her, patting her gently on the hip. “_Babe_.”

Mina’s entire face goes red when she realizes her mistake. Changbin reaches out and holds her back before she slaps Chanhee’s brains out.

The door to the classroom slides open. Teacher Park freezes in midstep, looking over the three students in front of him. “Should I just come back later?”

Mina takes a step back, folding her hands sheepishly in front of her. “Sorry, Teacher Park, I’ll kill him later.”

“Atta girl,” Teacher Park says, tapping the attendance folder as he walks into the classroom. “All right, everyone, all your stuff in the front, nothing on your desk except your mechanical pencil, eraser, and calcu-”

“Teacher Park!” One of their other classmates yells from the back of the classroom. “Is the exam hard?”

“Of course it is.” Teacher Park snorts. Then he seems to notice the thirty pairs of eyes staring at him, all a little damp like they’re very, _very_ near bursting into tears any moment now. “But you guys have it in the bag, I know you do.”

“Aww, I love you Teacher Park!” Their classmate says, forming a big heart over her head with her arms.

“Get in line, bitch!” Her seatmate hisses.

Chanhee reaches across the aisle with one foot and kicks the leg of Mina’s chair. “Good luck, babe.”

“You too.” Mina mutters, brushing some hair behind her deeply reddening ears. She smiles at Changbin. “Good luck, though you don’t need it.”

“C’mon, even Changbins need luck sometimes.” Chanhee extends a hand. “Good luck, dude.”

“Good luck, guys.” Changbin says, giving Chanhee a reluctant low-five.

He sighs. He doesn’t believe in luck, but he wishes Felix were here, too.

Felix isn’t even surprised when the dance studio door opens. “Hi guys.”

“Hi.” Yeji says.

“Heya.” Ryujin says.

“Hello.” Chaeryeong says.

Felix stops and counts them again with his eyes. “Chaeryeong?”

“Uh… haha,” Chaeryeong grimaces. “Ryujin told me.”

Felix glares at the sophomore.

“She was the only one who didn’t know!” Ryujin squeaks. “My heart couldn’t do it! I was weak!”

Felix sighs. _It’s just a matter of time before they tell the whole fucking school._

_It’ll be hell when the other guys find out, but if Changbin finds out…_

“I just wanted to ask,” Chaeryeong says, raising her hand.

“Yeah?” Felix frowns at her.

“Can we come with you?”

“What?”

“Like, you know, to support you?” Chaeryeong wiggles her hands like she’s waving two tiny flags. “Is that allowed in auditions?”

“I don’t know.” Felix says. _I don’t know a _lot_ of things. _

_Like how I’m getting there in the first place._

“How are you going there?” Yeji asks. Her expression seems innocent enough, but Felix is seriously starting to think she can read his mind.

“I’m uh… I’m taking the train.” Felix says with a vague wave of his hands to represent… something.

“Just you?” Yeji asks. _Her eyes are seriously drilling holes into my soul._

“I mean, me and-” Felix is having a hard time lying with the three of them staring at him. He gives up. “Yeah. Just me.”

“Holy shit, your parents are letting you go to Seoul all on your own?” Ryujin says.

“Uh…” Felix grimaces. “They’re not.”

Somehow he feels a little better just letting the truth spill out like water through a broken dam, but just like water through a broken dam, he feels like he’s causing more problems than anything else.

The four of them stand there in the silent dance studio, shifting their weight on their sneakers.

_What now?_

Changbin yawns, frowning at his Economics book. The words are starting to jump around like they’re in a club. _You’ve never been to a club, Changbin. _

_And there are no clubs here, anyway._

_Well, parties at Minho’s house are close enough._

Changbin’s shoulders sag when he realizes there won’t be any more parties at Minho’s house next year.

He shakes his head. _No. One thing at a time. Finish your exams. Cry about everything later._

He’s just turned back to his book when he hears his phone vibrate.

Changbin closes the book and picks his phone up.

> _1 new message from Felix._
> 
> _Lix: _i know im not supposed to bother you this week but i just wanted to say that I love you

Changbin tries to bite back a smile, but he can hardly help it.

> _Bin: _I love you, too❤
> 
> _Lix: _ok go back to studying don’t make me an excuse for u failing econ

Changbin laughs.

> _Bin: _Good night!
> 
> _Bin: _Wait could I ask you for a favor?
> 
> _Lix: _sure what
> 
> _Bin: _Could I see you before my first exam tomorrow? I think I need a Felix hug to pass my Econ exam…

Changbin watches the three dots appear by Felix’s icon, then disappear again.

> _Bin: _I’m kidding I’m definitely gonna pass Econ, I just miss you.
> 
> _Bin: _Lix?
> 
> _Lix: _yeah
> 
> _Bin: _Sorry, go sleep haha
> 
> _Bin: _See you tomorrow ❤❤❤

Changbin waits for Felix to reply, but he doesn’t. _He’s probably sleeping. _Changbin locks the phone and puts it aside as he opens his economics book again.

The words aren’t jumping around as much, but Changbin can’t really focus on them anyway. _At least I’ll still have Felix next year. Who needs Minho’s parties?_

Changbin smiles.

_Earlier that day_

Felix looks at the floor, avoiding the other girls’ eyes. _Everything’s a mess, isn’t it?_

Yeji finally breaks the silence. “I used to live in Seoul.”

“Oh yeah, you did, didn’t you?” Chaeryeong says.

“So you know you way around there?” Ryujin asks.

“Yeah.” Yeji nods.

She looks at Felix again, with that soul-punching stare.

Felix takes a deep breath. “You know what, I just won’t go. It’s stupid and-”

“What’ll happen if you don’t show up to the auditions?” Chaeryeong asks.

Felix tries to shrug as casually as he can. “They’ll skip me, I guess.”

“Did you pay for that already?” Ryujin asks. “Do you pay for that kind of thing?”

“I mean, yeah,” Felix grimaces. “But it was less than a hundred-”

“No.”

Felix and the other two girls turn to Yeji slowly. “What?”

“No.” Yeji says again, with double the conviction now. “When I said I had your back, Felix, I meant it.”

Felix has no idea what she means by that.

“W____ High Dance Club!” Yeji says, with the snap of a military commander. Chaeryeong and Ryujin jump to attention, the latter even straightening out of her perpetual slouch. “We have a new project.”

“I thought I was the head of the dance club.” Felix sighs.

“You abdicated all power when you decided to abandon us for another school.” Yeji says. “I’ve decided to take advantage of the power vacuum.”

_At least _someone_ seems to be taking Teacher Ahn’s lessons seriously, _Felix thinks, a concerned frown creeping across his face.

“We’ll get you to your audition.” Yeji says firmly. Chaeryeong and Ryujin nod in agreement, exactly like the sort of people who would get roped into a cult.

“Look, I’m like, way out of practice,” Felix sighs. “I don’t even know if I’ll _pass_ the audition-”

“That’s on you.” Yeji says. “But we’ll get you there. The rest is up to you. Deal?”

Felix takes a deep breath, looking at the hand Yeji’s extending to him. “What if I say no?”

Ryujin makes a face. “Why the fuck would you?”

Felix can’t believe he’s even thinking it, but Ryujin’s right. He shakes Yeji’s hand.


	61. Thursday - GOT7 (song recommendation by Ryujin)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Thursday morning_

Changbin looks up at the clock at the end of the hallway. _The bell’s going to ring any minute now. _

He checks his phone again.

> _Bin: _Hey Felix I’m here by the lockers.
> 
> _Bin: _Did you sleep in again? XD
> 
> _Bin: _Feeeeeeeeliiiiiiiiiiix!!!
> 
> _Bin: _I’m kidding please tell your Dad to drive safely.
> 
> _Bin: _I think I’ve got to go in a short while, but anyway I’ll see you later?

The bell rings.

“Come on, dude, second to the last day of exams!” Chan says, throwing an arm around Changbin’s shoulders. Changbin hadn’t even noticed him arrive.

“Yeah,” Changbin tilts his phone away and sends a message quickly before tossing his phone into his locker.

Felix scratches the side of his phonecase as he watches a new message pop up.

> _Bin: _Don’t worry about it, I’ll see you later. ❤

He feels like throwing up. _Maybe I will._

“I forgot to ask,” Yeji says, from the seat next to his on the train. “You have your permit and everything?”

“Yeah.” Felix wags his phone. “It’s an e-ticket.”

“Fancy.” Chaeryeong says, grinning from the seat across Yeji.

Ryujin’s sitting across Felix, but she hasn’t looked away from the window since the train left the station. “How much longer till we get there?”

“Two and a half hours.” Yeji says. “Then we have to find the school.”

“_Find_?” Felix frowns.

“I thought you knew where it was.” Chaeryeong says.

“Uh…” Yeji sticks her tongue into her cheek. “Did I say _find_? I meant we’ll go there.”

Ryujin finally looks away from the window. “You _did_ live in Seoul, right?”

Felix and Chaeryeong watch Yeji carefully for her reply.

“I did!” Yeji says defensively, giving the others deeply hurt looks.

Felix frowns at her, but he can’t read _her_ mind. “But…?”

Yeji’s lips stretch into a grimace. “It may or may not have been… ten years ago.”

Felix gapes at her. “Are you fucking serious?”

“We’re screwed.” Chaeryeong groans.

_Thursday afternoon_

Changbin stretches his arms over his head, wincing as something in his spine lets out a loud pop. He looks back down at the book on his desk. It seems to look back up at him pitifully, having been tabbed and dog-eared to an inch of its life.

_Sorry, little guy, _Changbin thinks, closing the book. He’s still got five chapters left to study, but his head’s starting to spin.

He reaches for his tumbler, but it’s empty.

Changbin heads out to the kitchen, navigating around the cardboard boxes and plastic containers lined up in the hallway.

“Done studying?” Changbin’s dad asks, sitting at the kitchen table. They’ve already packed the couch and TV away, so Changbin’s dad is amusing himself with doing some accounting for the auto shop.

“Not yet.” Changbin replies as he fills his tumbler with water.

“I had dinner delivered,” Changbin’s dad says, frowning as he punches something into the calculator on his phone. “Since we packed all the pots and stuff already.”

“Oh, okay.”

“What time do you want to-” Changbin’s dad stops midsentence, because his phone starts buzzing. A notification rudely pops up over his calculator. “Sorry, I’ll just take this.”

Changbin nods, screwing the lid back on his tumbler while his dad scrambles off to one side of the kitchen, holding the phone to his ear.

“H- Hey, Professor Park!” Changbin’s dad stammers out with a nervous chuckle. “Wha- Is anything the matter? Oh.”

Changbin frowns. _Did they get into another accident? _

“No, uh, Changbin didn’t go to training today.” Changbin’s dad says.

Changbin gives him a look that says, _What is it?_

Changbin’s dad shakes his head quickly, as if to say, _Nothing, don’t worry about it._

“Yeah, he’s been studying for his exams tomorrow. Yeah, he’s been here all afternoon. Yeah.” Changbin’s dad’s forehead crinkles in worry. “No, he hasn’t dropped by. Sorry. He might be with the other boys on the team, they go out for snacks sometimes after training and lose track of the time and- Oh, he isn’t? Oh.”

Changbin puts his tumbler down on the kitchen table, extending a hand. “Can I talk to him?”

Changbin’s dad shakes his head, mothing, ‘It’s okay, just go study-”

“Dad.” Changbin says sternly. “Can I talk to him?”

“U- Uh, Professor, Changbin wants to talk to you if that’s all righ- Okay. Yeah.” Changbin’s dad hands him the phone.

Changbin gives his dad a polite nod before putting the phone to his ear. “Hello, Uncle Jae?”

“Hi Changbin this is going to sound very stupid but do you know where Felix is?” Felix’s dad says in one short breath.

Felix said his dad was always given to panicking, but this sounds different. “Hold on, Uncle Jae.”

“Okay.”

Changbin walks back to his room. His phone’s been shut off for the past couple of hours so he could study in peace (from the team’s never-ending stream of messages, obviously). He switches it on, tapping his fingers restlessly on the clear case while the loading screen comes to life.

“He wasn’t with the other guys?” Changbin asks while waiting.

“No. The coach said he didn’t show up for training today.”

_The dance club doesn’t have anything going on right now so what… _Changbin’s started scratching the edge of his phone case. _And he’d tell me to cover for him if they did._

_What if he did, but I just didn’t see it?_

_I’m the worst._

Changbin opens his conversation with Felix the second the phone starts up.

> _Bin: _Don’t worry about it, I’ll see you later. ❤
> 
> _Seen 7:28 AM_

Changbin nearly drops his phone. His hands are starting to shake. _It’s not like Felix to leave me on read._

“I’ll try calling him, Uncle Jae, I- I’ll c-call you back on Dad’s phone if I g-get a-”

“It’s okay, Changbin, I didn’t mean to stress you out, I know you’ve got exams to worry about- Shit.”

“Uncle Jae?”

“Sorry, Matt’s been trying to call me,” Felix’s dad’s voice quivers. “I’ll talk to you later? Or not, just worry about your exam-”

“How the fuck am I supposed to be thinking about my exams right now?” Changbin snaps at him. Then his entire face flushes with embarrassment. “Sorry.”

He ends the call before Felix’s dad can say anything.

“Changbin?” Changbin’s dad knocks on the doorway to Changbin’s room. Changbin hadn’t even managed to get the door closed. “What’s-”

“Here. Sorry.” Changbin hands his dad his phone before picking his own up. He hits the button to call Felix.

_Lee Felix if you don’t pick up on me, I swear I’ll-_

Changbin stares at his phone, eyes wide in shock as the screen informs him that his call has just been rejected.

Changbin dials again.

_Thursday morning_

“I give up.”

Felix and the other girls turn to Ryujin, who’s dumped herself onto the sidewalk with a resigned grunt.

“We’ve only been walking for an hour.” Yeji says tensely.

“Yeah, but we have no idea where the fuck we are _and_ I haven’t had anything to eat yet,” Ryujin says, leaning on the trash can beside her. “So I think it’s time to quit. And maybe die.”

“Don’t go near that, I’m sure it’s got STDs or something,” Chaeryeong says, dragging Ryujin away from the trash can.

“Pretty sure that’s not how it works.” Yeji mutters.

Felix looks back down at his phone. He’s pretty sure the GPS stuff in Seoul are all accurate, and they’ve been following the map’s directions _religiously_, but all the streets and buildings are starting to blend together in this big concrete smoothie of pure confusion.

The clock in the corner of his screen calmly lets him know he’s only got an hour left until his audition.

“Let’s just stop for breakfast.” Chaeryeong suggests, frowning at the limp Ryujin she’s trying to support with both arms.

“No.” Felix says, much louder than he’d meant to. The girls all stare at him. “I mean, you guys can go have breakfast, I’ll go to the school on my own-”

“But you don’t even know where it is.” Yeji says.

“Well, neither do you.”

Yeji’s face reddens to her ears. “I was just trying to help!”

“You could’ve maybe told us that you weren’t even fucking potty trained the last time you were here!”

“I _was_ potty-trained, you little shit!”

“BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!” Chaeryeong screams, startling an old couple who’d been passing by, and a flock of pigeons. The old couple start walking faster. Chaeryeong ducks her head in embarrassment, shrinking against the nearest wall. “Oh my god I’m so sorry my mom didn’t raise to me to be disrespectful I swear.”

Yeji and Felix exchange frowns.

Then the corner of Yeji’s mouth twitches upward as it curls into a grin.

Felix straight up starts laughing.

“Stop it, guys, that’s mean,” Chaeryeong whines.

“Sorry.” Felix says, patting Chaeryeong on the arm.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Yeji says, patting Chaeryeong’s other arm. “We’re just wasting our time here. Let’s stop somewhere for a quick breakfast and some directions?”

“Okay.” Felix and Chaeryeong agree.

They look down at Ryujin on the sidewalk. “Ryujin?”

Ryujin lurches upward, getting to her feet with all the grace of a swamp monster. “I want burger.”

Yeji frowns. “For breakfast?”

“Yes.”

_Thursday afternoon_

Jinyoung looks up from the exam he’s been trying to check for the past couple of minutes. “Was it me or did someone actually ring the doorbell?”

Seungmin nudges Hyunjin, who’s been lying on the floor next to him, playing with Hyunjin the cat.

“Fine.” Hyunjin groans. “I’ll get it.”

Hyunjin lumbers over to the door, not bothering to undo the chain when he opens it.

He frowns. “Changbin?”

Changbin’s standing on the welcome mat, drenched in sweat despite the cool evening breeze blowing in from the street. “Where the fuck is your phone? I’ve been trying to call you-”

Hyunjin points at something leaning against the kitchen counter behind him. It’s a clear plastic container full of uncooked rice, with black things that look curiously like parts of Hyunjin’s phone sticking out of it.

“Oh.” Changbin says, sweat dribbling down his wrinkled forehead.

“Hyunjin knocked it into the sink.” Seungmin explains, cradling Hyunjin the cat in his arms. He rolls his eyes at Hyunjin the boy, who grimaces. “That Hyunjin, not the cat.”

“It was an accident.” Hyunjin the boy mutters.

“I sure hope it was.” Seungmin smiles back at him.

Jinyoung’s finally given up on the paper he’s been staring at, marking the number with a big fat x. He frowns at the boys clustered around the door. “Seo Changbin? Don’t you have an exam tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I just needed…” Changbin frowns at the disassembled phone resting in the rice container. “Do you have Hwang Yeji’s number?”

Hyunjin fixes the senior with a suspicious look. “You ran all the way here for my cousin’s- ?”

“It’s an emergency, okay? Do you have her number or not?” Changbin says irritably. He takes a step forward, which makes Hyunjin shrink away quickly.

“What happened?” Seungmin leans on the doorframe, scratching Hyunjin the cat between her ears.

Changbin’s mouth pulls into a wobbly line, like he’s considering whether he’s about to tell Seungmin or not. “I’m looking for Felix. He might be with her.”

Jinyoung puts his pen down. “Felix’s dad hasn’t found him yet?”

“No.” Changbin says tensely.

Jinyoung shoves the unchecked exams back into a folder with a loud groan. “Why don’t any of you kids know how to _stay_ _fucking put_?”

He grabs his keys off the kitchen counter as he makes his way for the door.

“Coach?” Changbin frowns.

“Hyung?” Hyunjin frowns.

“Come on,” Jinyoung says, stuffing his feet into the first pair of sneakers he can reach. “Let’s find Felix.”

_Thursday morning_

Felix sprints across the school’s massive lobby, his sneakers squeaking loudly on the stone tiles. A large clock on the wall tells him he’s five minutes late, but he tries to ignore it the best he can.

He nearly runs into the first student he sees. “Hidoyouknowwheretheauditori-”

“You’re late.” The girl says. She’s got a plastic button on her sweater vest, which reads, _STUDENT USHER CHOI JISOO._

“I know.” Felix says, shifting from one foot to the other. A loud chorus of squeaking sneakers in the lobby behind him lets him know the girls have caught up to him. “Can you just show me where the auditorium is, please, Miss uh… _Student Usher Choi Jisoo_?”

Student Usher Choi Jisoo sighs, glancing at the gaggle of girls panting heavily behind Felix. “Are you _all_-”

“No, no, just me.” Felix says.

“Parents and guardians can’t enter the auditorium. So neither can hangers-on, I guess.”

“What?” Ryujin squawks.

“Hey!” Chaeryeong protests.

“We’re not hangers-on.” Yeji huffs.

Student Usher Choi Jisoo gives them a sharp look, which makes Ryujin blush and duck behind Yeji and Chaeryeong.

A bell rings in the distance. Felix shifts his weight nervously from one foot to the other. “Can you please-”

“Yeah, yeah, but they’ll have to stay out here.” Jisoo points at a long row of plastic chairs filled with disgruntled-looking parents and guardians who had clearly expected to be let into the auditorium. “Test permit please?”

Felix rummages for his phone, tilting the screen to Jisoo when he finds it. “Here.”

Jisoo looks amused. “_Tap dancing_?”

“Yeah.” Felix says, gripping his backpack straps defensively.

“Are your parents big Fred Astaire fans or something?”

“Yeah.” Felix admits.

_Thursday afternoon_

“What do you _mean_ it’s no biggie? It is _very_ much a biggie! Our only son is missing!”

Jae cowers away from the world’s biggest Fred Astaire fan, in every sense of the word. He knows his husband would never actually hurt him, but his self-preservation instincts have gotten him this far for a reason. “I’m sure he’s just hanging out somewhere, it’s no-”

“If you say it’s _no big deal_ one more time…” Matt says slowly.

Jae swallows, nodding.

Matt sinks into the nearest seat, burying his face in his hands. He only does that for a second, before grabbing his phone off the kitchen table. “I’m calling the police.”

“They’re uh, they’re already on it.” Jae says. “One of the baseball coach’s friends is a cop and-”

“So the baseball coach is in on it?” Matt frowns. “When were you planning to let _me_ know that our son’s gone fucking missing?”

Jae chews on his lip. “I was uh, getting there.”

“Sure you were.” Matt puts his phone to his ear. “Hello? This is Matthew Kim, I’d like to report a missing person, my son- Y- Yes, he is a high schooler. Yes. He goes to W-------- High, why?”

Jae frowns slowly, leaning in to try to hear whatever the police are saying.

“Okay, we’ll be there in a few minutes. Thanks. Goodbye.” Matt pockets his phone as he gets up.

“What’d they say?” Jae asks.

“Three other kids have been reported missing from Felix’s high school.”

Jae frowns. “What the fuck?”

“They’re all girls, though. Does Felix know any-”

“A-ha!” Jae gasps loudly. He’d been reaching for the car keys, but he spins around and grabs his husband by the shoulders. “The dance club! Felix is with the motherfucking dance club!”

Matt sighs, grabbing the car keys and placing them in Jae’s hand. “Can you please just drive us to the station, Sherlock?”

_Thursday morning_

“Wait, who are you again?”

Felix squints. He’s forgotten how blinding stage lights are. “Lee Felix.”

“She’s asking for your test permit number, Fred.” Jisoo hisses from the wings, where she’s busy herding a line of anxious kids waiting for their turn.

“Oh, uh, DM-29.” Felix says, shielding the stage lights with one hand to look at the panelists. There seem to be five of them, two men and three women, all regarding him with the same bored expression.

The entire theater’s quite enough that he can her he squeak of the panelists’ chairs under them.

“Introduce your piece,” Jisoo hisses.

“Oh, uh, right,” Felix straightens up. “I’m uh, I’ll be doing a tap routine to _A Town Called Malice _by The Jam, adapted from the movie _Bill_-”

“With your backpack on?” One of the panelists asks.

“No.” Felix shrugs his backpack off and throws it quickly to the side of the stage. It hits the wood with a loud thump that echoes throughout the theater.

He straightens up, centering himself on the stage.

“Fred!” Jisoo whispers, slapping her face with one hand. “Your fucking _shoes_!”

Felix looks down at his sneakers. Then he looks back up at the panelists. “Sorry.”

He runs to the side of the stage to unzip his backpack and pull his tap shoes out. He slips out of his sneakers and into the tap shoes quickly enough, but it seems to take forever for him to tie the laces.

He walks to the center of the stage again, the clap of his shoes against the wood sounding like thunder in the tense silence. “Sorry.”

One of the panelists coughs. “Can you hurry up, please?”

“Sorry.” Felix raises a hand to signal to the tech booth.

He rolls his shoulders as he walks to the front steps leading up to the stage. He hadn’t gotten to rehearse with these stairs, but what was the worst that could happen?

_I could trip on the steps and fall and break my neck._

Felix takes a breath.

His last dance instructor told him he performed best when he was focused on just dancing, and ignored everything else. That had been one of the most attractive things about dancing for him, that he could just shut off the rest of his life for just a few minutes. For just a few minutes, he wasn’t the kid who gave all the social workers in the orphanage migraines, he wasn’t the kid with who couldn’t bring his parents to school events like all the other kids, he wasn’t the kid with no friend – he was no one when he was dancing, and it was nice.

But something’s wrong today.

Felix tries to empty his mind, just as the theatre is filled with the bouncy bass line of _A Town Called Malice. _

But the image invading his mind isn’t Billy Elliot, or even Felix’s papa, who’s almost worryingly obsessed with that movie.

Felix is thinking about Changbin when he jumps down to the first step.

_“He reminds me of you,”_ _Changbin had said one afternoon, after insisting on watching ‘The Movie About the Dancing Boy’ again._

_“Do I look like a white boy to you?”_

_Changbin had laughed, clutching his stomach like Felix is the funniest person in human history. “Don’t worry, you’re _way_ cuter than Bobby.”_

_“Billy.”_

_“Oh. Sorry.”_

Felix taps and spins down the next couple of steps without any trouble even remotely close to breaking his neck. The claps of his shoes on the wooden steps fit seamlessly over the music, which the guy in the tech booth seems to have decided to bring down just a little bit.

_Changbin’s eyes had gotten misty, less than ten minutes into the movie. _

_“His house is smaller than mine.”_

_Felix didn’t know what to say to that, so he just leaned over to rest his head on Changbin’s shoulder. _

_“Our new place is gonna be even smaller, though.” Changbin had looked away from the laptop and around Felix’s room then. “Probably smaller than your room.” Changbin had chuckled._

_“You can stay here,” Felix had said before he could stop himself._

_“No, I couldn’t,” Changbin had kissed Felix on the forehead. _

_“My parents won’t mind, and I definitely don’t mind.” Felix had said. “You know what I mind? You living in a little _box_ with your dad-”_

_“It’s an apartment, Lix.”_

_“Only technically.” Felix had said. “Why won’t you live with me?”_

_Changbin had just smiled. “This isn’t your house to offer to people, Lix.”_

Felix dances back up the stairs, landing on the stage with a loud tap. His left foot landed a bit weird, sending a weird shock all the way up his leg, but he didn’t have time to think about it. What with three minutes of choreography left to do, and his mind pretty much filled with nothing but Changbin’s smile, there was just no space left for him to worry about his foot.

_“Imagine if it were that easy to get out of here.”_

_Felix had frowned at Changbin. “What?”_

_“If I could just dance my way out of here,” Changbin had said, his mouth curling into a smile. “I would’ve.”_

_Felix remembered the test permit somewhere in his phone’s downloads folder. “You don’t need to dance. You have good grades. And you did well on your college exam thing, right?”_

_Changbin had scrunched his nose. “Not well enough.”_

_Felix had stopped watching the movie altogether. “What do you mean?”_

_“I applied to a few universities in Seoul a few months ago.” Changbin had aid softly, like he was admitting to some kind of crime. “My uncle helped me and he said he’d pay for my first year but… even then, I didn’t get in to any of them.”_

_Felix’s stomach had done a little flip. _

_Changbin had rested his lips gently against Felix’s cheek as he mumbled, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”_

_“It’s okay.”_

_“I didn’t want you to think I was trying to get away from you or anything.”_

_“I know you’re not.” Felix had said. “I mean, you’re practically on top of me right now.”_

_“Oh, sorry.” Changbin had laughed, crawling over the bedcovers to put some space between the two of them. _

_“Anyway, I’m sorry you didn’t get in.” Felix had said._

_“Ah, well, it wasn’t meant to be. I’m fine.” Changbin had shrugged. Then he’d grinned at Felix, wrapping his arms around Felix’s waist. “I guess I’m stuck here with you.”_

_“Sucks to be me.”_

_Changbin had laughed, burying his face in Felix’s shirt. _

Felix spins around and around, eyes trained on an emergency exit sign at the back of the theater to keep himself from getting dizzy.

He lands the last stomp right on the beat, hands balled into fists at his sides. His chest rises and falls with each pant, feeling heat and exhaustion rush through his body like a wave.

The panelists clap drily, but the other people waiting for their turn clap with a little more enthusiasm.

Jisoo gives Felix a broad, friendly smile and one decided thumb up.

“Thank you, Mr. Lee.” The panelist in the center, an elderly woman with her hair pulled back in a tight bun. “We’ll release the results online by Monday next week.”

Felix gives the panelists a quick bow. “Thank you.”

Felix feels a little dizzy as he stumbles out of the auditorium. 

“Nice one, Fred.”

Felix turns to find Student Usher Choi Jisoo stepping out of the auditorium behind him, sipping out of a green hydroflask. “My name’s Felix.”

“It’s a joke, dude. Because Fred Astaire?” Jisoo sighs, dangling the hydroflask off one finger. “Anyway congrats.”

Chaeryeong, Yeji, and Ryujin jump out of their seats.

“He’s in?” Yeji asks.

“He passed?” Chaeryeong asks.

“He _won_?” Ryujin asks.

Jisoo frowns at them. “No, the results aren’t till Monday. He just killed it, that’s all.”

“Of course he did.” Yeji says, putting an arm around Felix’s shoulders. It nearly knocks Felix over. “He’s like the best dancer, ever.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” Felix and Jisoo say at once.

“Too bad we couldn’t see it.” Chaeryeong sighs.

“You’ve seen me practice like, a million times.” Felix laughs, but something weird happens when he leans on his left foot. Something zips up the middle of his leg like lightning, tingling all the way to his spine.

“About that,” Jisoo says, pulling a phone out of the back pocket of her uniform slacks. “I got my friend to film it for you guys.”

Yeji and Chaeryeong gasp. “Really?”

“Is that even allowed?” Felix asks.

“No, but if I delete it after airdropping it to you guys, it’s like it never happened, right?” Jisoo grins. “Any of you got an iPhone?”

Yeji hands her phone over without another word. Chaeryeong vibrates with excitement, nearly knocking Felix over. Felix has no idea why he seems to easy to knock over right now.

“Uh, Student Usher Choi Jisoo,” Ryujin asks, reading off Jisoo’s nametag like a toddler who’s just learned to read. “Would you happen to be single?”

“Yes, but I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.” Jisoo says, giving Ryujin a sickly-sweet smile as she hands Yeji’s phone back.

Ryujin looks disappointed, but only for a second. Then she shakes Felix by the arm. “So, where are we having lunch, king?”

“Lunch? We have to get back to school before dismissal or our parents will notice.” Yeji says.

“Can’t we have lunch before going on the train?” Chaeryeong makes a face. “I don’t wanna get carsick.”

“Is it still carsick if it’s on a train?” Jisoo asks.

“I vote we have lunch before going so Chaeryeong doesn’t get trainsick.” Ryujin says, raising her hand.

“What do you think, Felix?” Yeji turns to Felix. Then she frowns. “Felix?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am aware that the application to even a not-so-prestigious performing arts school probably includes several rounds of auditions and other tests, but compared to the atrocities I’ve committed to baseball in this fic, I don’t think this is that bad lmao sorry for making u guys suspend your disbelief to the MOON


	62. “I think perhaps you mean twink.” – Lee Chaeryeong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Thursday evening_

Changbin hasn’t prayed in a long time. He could blame his parents, who stopped taking him to church a couple years back, but then again, if he’d really felt like it, he could’ve gone on his own.

He straightens up in his seat. The police station’s benches have these lumpy cushions on them that don’t seem designed to hold human butts.

Changbin ignores that and puts his hands together. _This is the way it works, right?_

_Dear god, _Changbin scrunches up his eyebrows from the effort. _I mean, dear God…_

_Don’t know if you’re even listening to me, because I haven’t talked to you in a while and stuff… Sorry about that. _

_But anyway, if you _are_ listening, please let Felix be okay. I love him so much, I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to him. _

“Changbin?” Felix’s papa bends over to give him a warm, if a bit confused smile.

Changbin lowers his hands self-consciously to his sides. “Y- Yeah?”

“We found him.”

Changbin looks up. _That was fast._

Then he remembers Felix’s papa is just standing there, watching him.

“Is he okay?” Changbin remembers the three other sets of parents pacing around the police station. “I- I mean, are they all okay?”

“Yeah, their train’s arriving in a few minutes.”

“Train?” Changbin frowns.

Felix’s papa crosses his arms, his mouth drawing into an upset line. “Yeah, looks like he’s got a lot of explaining to do when he gets here.”

_Earlier that day_

“We need to bring him to a hospital!” Chaeryeong says, hopping around Felix in a circle.

“I’m fine.” Felix insists, after lowering himself into the nearest chair. He hikes his pants up, rolling his sock down to find that his left ankle is looking less like a human body part and more like a fleshy balloon. “Shit.”

“Oh god.” Yeji says, making a face. She turns to Jisoo. “Do you guys have an infirmary here?”

“Yeah, but I don’t think non-students can-”

“The dude’s foot is about to fucking explode.” Ryujin says.

Jisoo’s entire face blanches.

Felix sighs. “It’s okay, don’t worry, I don’t think it’s broken.”

He grips the chair’s armrests, pushing himself up to his feet. His left ankle is throbbing with pain, and he’s doing all he can to shift his weight to his other foot without the others noticing, but he doesn’t think he’s doing a good job of it.

Felix lowers himself into the chair again, wincing with pain as he tries to adjust his ankle in a way that feels even vaguely comfortable.

“Felix.” Yeji says, putting a hand on his arm. “I think you have to go have it checked.”

Felix opens his mouth to say no, it’s fine, but he looks at Yeji. She’s glaring at him with a look that says her suggestion was anything but.

Ryujin drops into a squat next to Felix’s seat. “Come on, Felix.”

Felix frowns at her.

“I’ll carry you.” Ryujin says, patting her back. She gives Felix a wide grin. “You can’t be _that_ heavy, you’re a twig, dude.”

“I think perhaps you mean _twink_.” Chaeryeong suggests.

Felix frowns at the freshman.

“Don’t try to carry him, it’ll be worse if you drop him,” Yeji tells Ryujin, brushing her aside. She extends two hands to help Felix up. “We’ll help you walk to the infirmary.”

“Wait, wait, I don’t know if the infirmary will take you-”

“They’ll have to.” Yeji says, slinging one of Felix’s arms around her shoulders to support him.

Felix tries not to lean on Yeji too much as he hops onto his right foot. “I’d like to see them try stopping us.”

“Wait, where are we going?” Chaeryeong asks, looking up and down the hallway. Both ends look identical to her.

“Uh.” Ryujin turns to Jisoo. “Yo, student usher. Can you um, _ush_ us?””

“Yeah, yeah, it’s this way.” Jisoo sighs, marching down the hallway with one hand raised above her head like a tour guide’s flag. “Though it looks like you’re going to need a hospital.”

_Thursday evening_

Changbin unclips his seatbelt the second Felix’s dad stops the car.

“Chang-”

Changbin’s already dashed out of the car, running for the stairs leading up to the train station. He still doesn’t know why Felix and the girls would suddenly take a trip on a Thursday, but he doesn’t know if he really cares at this point.

He reaches the platform just as the train rolls in.

The train doors slide open. A handful of middle-aged men hobble out of the nearest car. A young woman storms out of the next car, frowning at her watch.

Changbin taps his foot on the tiles, waiting. He doesn’t know how much longer he can wait, because he feels like he’s about to explode.

A muffled voice over the train speakers announces that the doors are about to close.

Changbin frowns. _Where is he?_

The train doors close.

_That can’t be. Chaeryeong’s parents said she told them she was arriving in this train._

Changbin looks back to find the girls’ parents coming up the stairs.

He looks back at the train, which seems ready to leave. _Where are they?_

The train doors open again, accompanied by screechy yells from one of the train cars at the far end. A gaggle of girls rush out of the train car in a tight, penguin-like huddle.

“DON’T CLOSE THE DOOR ON US!”

“PLEASE!”

“I DON’T WANNA BE CUT IN HALF!”

Changbin starts down the platform towards them, frowning.

Chaeryeong seems to be leading the huddle, walking backwards as she continues screaming, “DON’T CLOSE THE DOOR PLEASE!”

Yeji and Ryujin form the sides of the huddle, supporting the person limping onto the platform between them.

“Felix?”

Felix’s mouth drops open. “Changbin? What are you doing here? Don’t you have exams to-”

“Screw my exams! You went _missing_!” Changbin says, his knees feeling a little wobbly at the idea of it.

Felix shuts his eyes, face reddening all the way to his ears in embarrassment. “Oh god, did my dads start a manhunt?”

Changbin frowns as Felix leans against the nearest column, wincing in pain. “What happened to-”

“CHAERYEONG, BABY!” Chaeryeong’s mom shouts, stumbling on an uneven tile as she runs to her daughter. Chaeryeong’s dad stomps up closely behind, his upper lip so stiff he could only be seconds away from crying.

“SHIN RYUJIN!” Ryujin’s mom, a forty-year-old version of her, hollers as she storms down the platform in worn high heels and a skirt suit. “YOU ARE GROUNDED FOREVER, YOU HEAR ME? _FOREVER_!”

“MY PEACH PIEEEEEEEE!” Yeji’s dad screams at the top of his lungs, not to be outdone by the other parents. Yeji’s mom is sniffling too hard to say anything, so her husband yells for them both. “WHAT WERE YOU _THINKING_?”

Changbin steps out of their way, leaning against the far railing as he watches the girls’ parents envelop them in loud, sweaty hugs.

It’s only early in the evening, but Changbin suddenly feels a little cold.

Felix touches his arm, brows furrowed in concern. “Changbin-”

“Felix.”

They turn to find Felix’s parents standing at the top of the stairs. Changbin had expected them to rival Yeji’s dad in hysterics, but they’re strangely calm as they walk over to where the two boys are standing.

Felix doesn’t leave the column he’s leaning against, and Changbin suspects it’s because he can’t.

“Sorry for making you miss your show.” Felix mumbles.

“Fuck that.” Felix’s dad says. “What happened to your foot?”

Felix swallows. “I sprained my ankle. But it’s not-”

“Matt.” Felix’s dad turns to Felix’s papa, who just nods and scoops Felix up in his arms.

“I- I can walk.”

“With a sprained ankle? You shouldn’t.” Felix’s papa says, starting for the station’s elevator. “Come on, Changbin.”

“Yes, sir.” Changbin finds himself saying as he scrambles after Felix’s parents.

Felix’s dad flicks the turn signal on. In the relative silence in the car, it sounds like a gunshot.

Felix shifts uneasily in his seat. His ankle’s not giving him a hard time right now, but he’s never seen his dad actually use the turn signal _before_ turning, and it’s freaking him out.

Changbin’s hand slides across the space between them, brushing the edge of Felix’s hand.

Felix turns to find Changbin watching him, his face only lit by the occasional passing streetlight.

It could’ve been pitch dark, but Changbin would’ve still found a way to gaze at Felix _that _way.

_I’m sorry for dragging you into this, _Felix wants to say. _I’ve fucked everything up._

Felix folds his hands in his lap, turning to the window. He can’t say that to Changbin.

He doesn’t even know what he’s going to say to his dads.

Felix leans his forehead on the window. _Stupid fucking ankle ruining everything. Stupid fucking weak ankle._

“You’re still at the same address, right, Changbin?” Felix’s dad asks, turning off the main avenue to the part of the city where the streetlights are fewer and far between.

“Yes.”

Felix hears a rustle from Changbin’s side of the backseat, like he’s turning to Felix. _What was he expecting? That I _wouldn’t_ tell my parents that he was moving out?_

If Changbin’s really bothered, he doesn’t say anything. No one in the car says anything until it rolls to an unusually gentle stop outside Changbin’s apartment building.

“Thank you for the ride.” Changbin says.

“No problem.” Felix’s dad says.

“Tell your dad we’re sorry for bringing you home so late.” Felix’s papa says.

“It’s fine, I texted ahead.” Changbin says, with a pointed look in Felix’s direction. Then he opens the car door and leaves, closing the door gently behind him.

Felix feels his stomach sink right through the floor to the street.

He reaches out and opens the car door. “Changbin!”

Felix’s papa whirls around in the passenger’s seat. “Felix, wait-”

“Changbin!” Felix hobbles out of the car, reaching out to the nearest wall to steady himself. He can’t see around the corner as he limps along the wall, but he hopes Changbin heard him, because if he’s any louder, Changbin’s entire neighborhood will hear him. “Changbin, I’m sorry-”

“What are you doing?” Changbin frowns at Felix at first, but then he tilts his head and breaks into a smile.

Felix crumples against the wall. His ankle is throbbing with so much pain it’s making his head hurt, but Changbin’s smile could probably cure even cancer.

“Your parents are already mad at you, Lix,” Changbin chuckles, wrapping his arms around Felix to help him up off the wall. “Come on, let’s get you back there before they get seriously pissed.”

Felix leans on Changbin, closing his eyes as he nuzzles his nose against the side of Changbin’s head. “Wait, I need to talk to you first.”

“Felix,” Changbin says. “You can tell me tomorrow.”

“No, no, I messed everything up, I just have to-”

Changbin plants a soft kiss against Felix’s lips. Felix hadn’t noticed how dry his lips had gotten, until his felt Changbin’s hot breath against them.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, after my exams.”

“Oh.” Felix hangs his head. “Right. Your exams. Sorry, I-”

“You fucked everything up and now I’m going to fail my Lit finals, I know.” Changbin laughs softly. He taps his nose against the tip of Felix’s. “I’m kidding, Lix. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? If you’re not grounded for life.”

“I’ll still see you at school, even if I am grounded forever.”

“Good night, Felix.” Changbin says, tightening his arms around Felix as he leads him back out to the street. “I love you.”

Felix’s shoulders sag, and not because his ankle’s hurting him. _What’s he going to think when-_

“Hey.” Changbin pokes Felix in the ribs. “You left me on read the whole day. At least say ‘I love you’ back.”

“Sorry.” Felix says, nearly tripping over the step down to the sidewalk. “I love you so much, Changbin. So much.”

“Calm the fuck down, I’m not going anywhere,” Changbin laughs. Felix’s dads have both stepped out of the car, but they quickly wipe the concern off their faces when they notice the boys coming. “Sorry, have a good night.”

“You too, Changbin.” Felix’s papa says.

Felix avoids his parents’ gazes as he lets Changbin lower him into the backseat of the car. Felix felt guilty the entire time Ryujin and Yeji were helping him walk from the hospital to one train station to another, but he wouldn’t mind having Changbin carry him around all day.

“See you tomorrow, Lix.”

“See you.”

Felix turns in his seat to watch Changbin disappear into the apartment building as they drive away. Felix leans back in his seat, looking up at his dad’s reflection in the rearview mirror. His dad doesn’t look back at him. His eyes are on the road. Felix’s papa lifts a hand as if to turn the radio on, but he leaves his fingers hanging in the air for a moment too long, before deciding to lower his hand back to his side.

“I’m sorry.” Felix says.

“We’ll talk at home.” Felix’s dad says.

Felix nods, but even though they can’t see him, they don’t seem to be waiting for a response, anyway.

_Four years ago_

“Do you understand what you did wrong?”

Felix just stares at Matt. He’s started insisting on being called ‘Papa’ lately, but Felix hasn’t been able to drill that into his head yet. _Things take forever to stick to my brain. _

“Sorry.” Felix mumbles. _I’m just dumb like that._

Matt sighs, leaning on the headboard of Felix’s bed. “What are you sorry for?”

Felix swallows, sitting up in bed to hug his knees. _I’m sorry you and Jae are upset. _

_But if I say that, you’ll only be more upset._

_And I don’t want you to be more upset with me._

_You won’t want me anymore._

“Felix?” Matt asks, tilting his head as he tries to pick out Felix’s face in the dim light seeping into Felix’s room from the hallway.

“I shouldn’t have hit my classmate.” Felix says. _That’s true, at least. _

_But he shouldn’t have said all those things about my parents._

“No, you shouldn’t have,” Matt says. “You know we only sent you to those taekwondo classes so you could defend yourself.”

_I was. Kinda. _

_Well, I was defending _you_ guys, anyway. That’s more important than me._

“I know.” Felix nods slowly.

Matt sighs again. Felix looks up at him. _Matt’s such a big guy, and he’s got almost as many muscles as Captain America does in the movies, but he’s probably never used them to hit somebody. What kind of a person finds out if their son had been in a fight and doesn’t ask, _Did the other guy deserve it_?_

“Just don’t do it again, okay?” Matt says, patting Felix on the knee.

“That’s what sorry means, doesn’t it?”

_Present_

Felix leans against his papa as he limps along, only having just convinced his papa not to carry him into the apartment. Felix’s dad scampers to hold the door open for them. “It’s okay, Dad.”

Felix’s dad says nothing, but he pulls out a chair at the dining table for Felix.

“Do you want ice for your ankle?”

“No, thanks, Papa.” Felix frowns while his parents busy themselves bringing containers of food out of the refrigerator.

“Do you want soup or rice or both, Felix?”

“Uh… just rice please, thanks.”

“Do you want your tea hot or cold?”

“Uh, cold please, thanks.”

Felix can hardly relax in his seat, as if there are spikes on the backrest. He leans away when his dad places a plate and a glass in front of him. His papa lowers bowls of stir-fried pork and rice onto the table, while Felix’s dad pours out glasses of chilled tea for the three of them. There’s nothing weird about any of that, but it’s making Felix uncomfortable because he feels like things _should_ be weird.

His parents sit at their usual seats across the table and start eating, occasionally stealing pieces of pork from each other and dumping their vegetables on each other’s plates, like they normally do.

Felix pokes at his pork. He’s hungry as hell, but it doesn’t feel right to just eat like nothing’s wrong.

“I’m sorry for um,” Felix starts, dragging a piece of broccoli across his plate. “Going out of town without telling you.”

He looks up to check his parents’ reactions. They’ve stopped playing their usual game of dumping vegetables on each other’s plates, but they’re looking at Felix with worryingly neutral expressions.

“Aren’t you guys mad?” Felix asks.

“Of course we are.” Felix’s dad says, gently plucking a piece of broccoli off his own plate and placing it on his husband’s plate.

Felix’s papa picks up the broccoli, then sighs and takes a bite out of it. “Is it not obvious?”

“No. It’s not.” Felix says. “You don’t have to be so nice to me if you’re pissed at me.”

Felix’s papa finishes the piece of broccoli off. “You’re injured. We’re not about to pretend you’re not just because we’re mad at you.”

Felix watches his parents go back to their game, stealing meat and caramelized onions off each other’s plates. It’s all right when they seem like they’re ignoring him, but then Felix’s dad drops a piece of broccoli on Felix’s plate.

“Eat more vegetables.” He says.

Felix nods and eats the broccoli, chewing slowly, like a cow. When he finally swallows it, he frowns at his dad. “You aren’t going to ask me where I went?”

Felix’s dad actually laughs. “Give us some credit, Felix, we’re not that dumb.”

Felix’s papa nudges him, giving Felix only a mildly stern look. “He means we already know.”

“Oh.” Felix looks down at his dinner, which he’s nowhere near finishing anytime soon. _So they know? Then why didn’t they say anything?_

“Okay, you know what, I just don’t get it,” Felix’s dad says, wagging a caramelized onion in the air in front of him. “Did you think we wouldn’t let you skip school for an audition?”

“Jae,” Felix’s papa says.

“I don’t get it!” Felix’s dad says, pointing the piece of onion in Felix’s general direction. “When have we ever not been 1000% supportive no matter whatever the fuck you want to do?”

“Jae, let’s just finish dinner fir-”

“That’s why I didn’t tell you.” Felix says.

Felix’s papa frowns at him. “What do you mean?”

“I didn’t-” Felix tries taking a breath. His chest feels tight. “I don’t even know why I tried out for that school in the first place.”

“Because it’s way better than the shithole you’re currently attending?” Felix’s dad says, dodging a pointed nudge from his husband.

“Well, yeah, but I’m not… I’m not _that_ good-”

“Of course you are.”

“You’re a fantastic dancer, Felix.”

Felix sighs. _Why do they have to prove me _so_ right?_

“I just didn’t want you guys to get your hopes up just to be disappointed when I don’t get in.” Felix says. “Your idea of me is just not… realistic.”

Felix’s parents don’t say anything to that. _Because they can’t. They know it’s true. _

“So I thought it would be better to just do it on my own and just let you know about it if I got in, which I probably won’t anyway. I was just gonna go there and get back to school before you came to pick me up,” Felix lowers his voice to a mutter as he adds, “But my stupid ankle didn’t cooperate.”

His parents haven’t said anything in a while, so he looks up again. Both of them are frowning at him, the sort of frown like they’re biting back on everything they want to say, but it’s all bubbling up to the surface whether they like it or not.

_Here we go. _Felix finds himself physically bracing himself for whatever they have to say to him.

“It’s reckless enough of you to go into the city by yourself,” Felix’s papa says. “But you didn’t have to bring the girls with you. You know how much more dangerous things are for young girls.”

“I know.” Felix lowers his head.

“And you don’t have to protect our feelings like that, it’s just embarrassing.” Felix’s dad says. “We’re adults, we can handle our own disappointment. It’s more important to us that you’re safe.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“So…” Felix’s papa starts slowly. “When do the results come out?”

“Fuck’s sake, Matt.” Felix’s dad chuckles.

“I’m just asking!” Felix’s papa says. “There’s no point pretending we don’t know if we know!”

Felix’s dad laughs at his husband for a full minute before turning to Felix. “So, when do you find out?”

“Monday.” Felix mutters. “But I’m probably not going to get in, so-”

“What’ll you do if you _do_?” Felix’s papa asks.

“If I do what?”

“If you get into the school, Felix.”

Felix purses his lips. “I haven’t thought about it.”

_A straight-up lie. _

_I’ve thought about it a _lot_._

“Well, I’m ready to quit my job at any given time.”

“Jae. Please be serious.”

“I am, darling, I fucking _am_.” Felix’s dad groans. “I’m sick and tired of all the fucking people giving me those weird looks and walking a whole fucking meter away like they’re afraid of catching the _gay_-”

“Jae.”

Felix’s dad turns to Felix with his eyes wide. “I- I mean, no pressure, of course. I don’t mind staying here, really, I just love complaining.”

“It’s okay, Dad.” Felix says, but his voice cracks. He takes a sip of iced tea, but his throat seems to have closed over.

“What does Changbin think of you trying out for another school?”

“He’ll be at university next year anyway, Matt. They won’t be in the same-”

“He doesn’t know.”

Both of Felix’s dads turn to him slowly, eyebrows raised almost to the ceiling. Felix sputters into his glass, avoiding both their gazes.

“When were you planning to tell _him_?” Felix’s dad squawks.

“If I got in.”


	63. Congratutations senors!

_Friday_

Changbin lowers his pen, cracking his neck while he takes a quick glance at the clock on the wall. _Fifteen more minutes. _

“Eyes on your own papers.” Teacher Park calls from the front of the classroom.

Changbin frowns at him, as if to say, _Are you talking to _me_?_

Teacher Park shrugs, as if to say, _Just doing my job, man._

Changbin rolls his eyes before looking back down at his exam. It’s as finished as it’ll ever be, even if the last essay is visibly shorter than the others, almost embarrassingly so. Changbin hadn’t been able to finish the book, so he didn’t have much to say about how it ended.

He glances at the clock again. _Fourteen minutes? Why is time moving so slow?_

Changbin grumbles and folds his arms on his desk like a makeshift pillow, resting his head on them. Fourteen minutes isn’t enough for a decent nap, but he doesn’t have many other choices that won’t look like attempts at cheating to Teacher Park’s eagle eyes.

He reads the messages scratched into the desk by previous seniors, mostly incomprehensible green jokes. _As if you hadn’t seen them a million times before. This has been your desk the entire year. _

He hears Chanhee and Mina flip through their papers agitatedly. Changbin knows he ought to review his paper properly, but he hasn’t got any panic left in him. It’s as if he’d used up all his adrenaline worrying about Felix yesterday and he’s got nothing left for his last exam.

_Well, Felix is way more important than any exam._

Changbin knows that Felix is resting at home, because the fool suddenly remembered how to text his boyfriend that morning. But he still wishes he could see him. And maybe hold him. Changbin still doesn’t know why Felix and the girls ran away yesterday, but he doesn’t have the energy to wonder why. He just wants to hold Felix, and know things are okay.

“Pens down,” Teacher Park calls from the back of the classroom. Changbin hadn’t even noticed him walking around. “Pass your papers forward.”

Chanhee whacks Changbin with the wad of papers. Changbin whirls around to scowl at him, but Chanhee’s miming a knife slicing his throat. Changbin snorts, taking the papers from Chanhee and putting his own on top.

“Is that it?”

Teacher Park’s talking about the stack of exams he’s currently counting, but Changbin feels the same way. _Is this how high school ends? That’s it?_

The bell chimes down the hallway, setting off a long, relieved groan from all the seniors.

Mina reaches across the aisle to whack Chanhee, who had gotten up to crack his back.

“Ow, what the fuck?” Chanhee grumbles, rubbing his back.

“Nothing, I just felt like it,” Mina hums, grinning at Changbin. She wags her hand. “That exam was so _long_. I thought my hand was gonna fall off.”

Changbin just nods. He had no such problem, because he didn’t have a lot to write, anyway.

“Let’s go out for lunch,” Chanhee says, slinging an arm around Changbin’s shoulders. “My uncle’s grill place has some new stuff on the menu.”

“Oh my god, yes, I’m starving.” Mina says, shoving her pencil case into her backpack.

Changbin thinks about Felix, probably lying in bed playing games on his phone.

“Last person out the gate pays for lunch!” Chanhee yells.

“Wait!” Changbin protests, but his friends have already started running down the hallway, shoving each other to slow the other down. He tries to follow, but he bumps into someone almost as soon as he takes a step.

“Oh, shit, you okay, dude?” Chan asks, holding Changbin by the shoulders to right him.

“Yeah.” Changbin says, smiling. “Oh, congrats on your last exam, Chan.”

“It’s over! FINALLY! FREEDOM IS _SWEET_!” Chan laughs so loudly he surprises a group of girls passing by them. He lowers his head, his cheeks glowing bright pink. “Oh, sorry.”

“Chanhee and Mina and I are going out for lunch,” Changbin says. “Wanna come with?”

“Sure!”

“So I turn around and I’m like, Changbin? Changbin? And then he’s like, Down here-”

“Ah, because he’s short.” Chanhee cuts in.

“Fuck you, Chanhee.” Changbin and Mina say at once.

Chan starts laughing.

“Oh come on, Bang Chan, you’re short, too.” Mina says.

“So, wait, what happened to Changbin?” Chanhee asks.

“I was lying in the pile of fish.” Changbin says, using the tongs to flip the strips of pork on the grill.

“YOU WERE _WHAT_?” Chanhee hoots, quickly joining in with Chan, who hasn’t stopped laughing.

Mina scrunches her nose up. “Oh god, it must’ve taken forever to get the smell out.”

“Yeah, I took two baths that day.” Changbin shudders.

“But- But you smelled like fish for _days_!” Chan sputters out. His and Chanhee’s faces have gotten very red, but they seem to be bent on laughing until they completely run out of air.

“It’s not _that_ funny.” Mina sighs as Changbin drops a slice of grilled pork on her plate. “Ah, thanks, Changbin.”

“You’re welcome,” Changbin says, dropping pork on Chan and Chanhee’s plates in an attempt to shut them up.

It doesn’t work. They just keep laughing while chewing, never mind the risk of choking.

“I’ve got this,” Mina assures Changbin. She kicks Chanhee under the table. “So, where are you planning to go for college, Chanhee?”

Chanhee coughs, probably having swallowed his pork only half-chewed. “H- Haven’t thought about it yet.”

“What about you, Bang Chan?”

Chan grins. “H________ University, you?”

“Oh, same.” Mina grins. “What about you, Changbin?”

“The same place.” Changbin chuckles. “Where else would any of us go?”

“Bye!” Chan waves as Mina and Chanhee climb onto the bus.

“Bye Bang Chan!”

“See you around, dude!”

Chan grins, turning to Changbin, who’s looking down at his phone. “It’s really nice of Chanhee to bring Mina home, isn’t it?”

“They’re dating.” Changbin mutters, heaving a sigh as he lowers himself onto the bench to wait for the next bus.

“Oh?” Chan frowns. “They didn’t seem like they were.”

“Uh, yes they did.” Changbin can’t help but smile at Chan. _Not everyone’s like you and Younghoon, _he thinks. His phone rings before he can say anything else to Chan, though.

Chan lifts both eyebrows as if to ask, _Who is it_?

“Probably Dad. We’re moving out to- Oh.” Changbin frowns at his phone. _Jisung?_

Chan, being Chan, has taken a seat on the bench far away enough from Changbin to not see what’s on Changbin’s screen.

“Hey, what’s up?” Changbin asks, holding the phone a safe distance from his ear.

Sure enough, all he gets from the other end is a loud, choked wail.

“Jisung?” Changbin asks. “Hey, dude, what’s going-”

Jisung lets out another sob. _It’s obviously him, no one else sounds like the way roadkill looks when they’re crying. But _why_?_

Chan’s scooted over, eyes wide in concern. ‘What’s up?’ He mouths at Changbin.

“Listen, Jisung, if you can’t talk, just text me, okay?” Changbin says.

Jisung hiccups on the other end in reply, before breaking into another loud wail.

“Where are you, dude?” Chan asks, unable to hold back any longer. “We’ll come to you.”

Changbin opens his mouth to say that he’s got to head home and help his dad move their stuff to their new boarding house, but he decides against it. _Stuff is just stuff. Jisung’s more important. _

“Just text us where you are, okay?” Changbin says gently, holding the phone close to his ear, his eardrum be damned. “Jisung?”

His phone pings with a new text from Jisung.

> _Jisung:_ im at the cafe

Changbin and Chan exchange frowns. Then they leave the bus stop running, just as the next bus rolls in. The driver opens the door on reflex, then looks in the mirror at the two boys taking off down the sidewalk at top speed.

The bus driver shrugs and closes the door again.

The café’s large windows are covered in newspaper when Chan and Changbin arrive, bending over to catch their breath outside the blocked-up double doors.

Changbin tries the door, finding it unlocked. “Jisung, what-”

“YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Changbin flinches, shielding his face with his forearms as something explodes a little too close to his face. Then he finds himself covered in bits of confetti and streamers.

Chan wags his head to shake confetti out of his hair. “What’s going on?”

“Surprise!” Hyunjin cheers, wagging the empty party popper over his head. He seems to be the only person in the café, which is weirdly devoid of customers at this time of the afternoon.

_And employees, _Changbin thinks, frowning at the empty space behind the café’s counter.

“Goddammit, Hyunjin, I said _on three_! You didn’t even wait for _one_!” Jisung groans, popping out from behind the counter. His nose is a little bit red, but otherwise, he seems to be fine. He rolls his eyes. “Okay, guys, everyone come out, Hyunjin’s ruined everything.”

“Sorry.” Hyunjin says, lowering his head.

“_I_ was surprised,” Chan assures the junior, patting him on the arm.

“He blew that thing up in our faces, how could you not be?” Changbin mutters, pointing at the empty party popper in Hyunjin’s hands.

The rest of the team start crawling out from behind couches and under crates and whatever piece of furniture it seems they could find in the café, like roaches scampering into the light at the whiff of bug spray. Coach Park rolls out from behind one of the couches, using the nearest table to lug himself to his feet.

“_God, _my knees can’t take this kind of bullshit anymore,” He groans, rubbing his knees.

“Weren’t you playing for a varsity just two years ago?” Coach Wang asks, getting out from behind the same couch with only marginally less difficulty.

“Two years is a _long_ time, Jack.”

Chan’s face lights up at the sight of the rest of the Weevils. “What’re all of you doing here?”

“Are you serious?” Hyunjoon makes a face, holding one end of a banner that reads, _Congratutations senors!_ in Sunwoo’s broad handwriting.

Changbin sighs, putting an arm around Jisung’s shoulders. “Thanks for the surprise party, you idiots.”

“Awww, no prob- Aghckk ackkkk!” Jisung starts squawking, because Changbin’s tightened his arm into a light lock around Jisung’s neck.

“You had us fucking worried, you piece of shit.” Changbin says, casually ignoring Jisung’s attempts to escape.

“Yeah, we thought there was an emergency,” Chan frowns at Jisung.

“There _is_ an emergency!” Jisung protests, his face growing red for some reason. Changbin isn’t even squeezing his neck at all. “You guys are leaaaaaaving us!”

“Also, all the votes for next year’s captain are in.” Hyunjoon says, giving Jisung a less-than-kind glance.

“Huh.” Changbin’s arms drop to his side. He hadn’t realized – he’d _known_, of course, that the school year was ending and he was leaving high school soon, he’s not stupid – but he hadn’t realized that his time as captain was up, too.

_Did I even do anything while I was captain?_

“Okay everyone, settle down.” Coach Wang says, trying to herd the other Weevils into the nearest chairs.

Changbin drops into one of the couches between Chan and Jisung, who both seem to be bouncing with excitement. _I’ve been a shit captain. _

_The best I can hope for is that no one remembers I was ever the captain. _

_Yeah, in a few years, no one will remember anything from high school, right?_

“Before we get into that shit, let’s give the seniors a round of applause-” Coach Park starts, but he gets cut off by deafening barks and howls from the Weevils. He gives them all a sharp look until they shut up again. “_Applause_. I said _applause._”

The Weevils look self-consciously at the floor, clapping their hands together politely, but it all comes out sounding a bit wet and sad.

“Thank you.” Coach Park says. Then he looks at Chan and Changbin, his mouth curling into a smile that you might even call affectionate. “We’re going to miss you guys.”

“Me more than anyone else.” Coach Wang says, crossing his arms in an obvious attempt to look aloof. “Who knows how we’re going to wrangle _them-_” He looks at the other boys like most people look at a neglected desk covered in papers and random shit “-next year.”

“You’ll have the new captain to help, Coach.” Chan says, vibrating giddily in his seat. He’s jumping around so much that it’s shaking Changbin next to him, but the excitement doesn’t seem to be contagious, too.

Changbin sighs.

“About that…” Coach Wang and Coach Park exchange glances.

Coach Park cracks his neck thoughtfully. “We’re all about democracy here, but-”

The front door of the café swings open.

“Sorry I’m late!” Felix says, coming in with a crutch under one arm. Changbin stands up on instinct, but Felix waves him away. “I’m fine, sorry, don’t mind me, just go on doing whatever you guys were doing.”

Coach Wang pulls out a chair for him, helping him into a seat not too far from the door. “You didn’t miss anything.”

“Except Hwang Hyunjin messing up the surprise, Coach.” Dongpyo offers helpfully.

Hyunjin blushes, covering his face with one of the menus.

“Well that’s too bad,” Felix says with a little smile.

“As I was saying,” Coach Park says. Then he frowns at the ceiling. “What was I saying?”

“Something about democracy, Coach.” Changbin says.

“Ah, yeah, right. I’m a huge democracy fan and all, but uh, Coach Wang and I have been thinking…” Coach Park turns to the other coach, who looks away like he’s suddenly interested in the décor on the café’s wall. “What were we thinking, Jack?”

“Don’t know, Jinyoung, I’m not big on thinking, that’s more of your thing.”

Coach Park sighs. Then he looks over the baseball team, who look back at him with wide, innocent doe eyes. He sighs again. “_You_ guys voted for the new captain, so we won’t be held liable for whatever the fuck happens next year.”

“What do you mean, Coach?” Chan asks.

“How could you elect _Jisung _as captain?” Coach Park whines.

Jisung yelps, jumping to his feet like he’s sat on a thumbtack. Hyunjoon throws his end of the banner at Sunwoo, who’s holding the other end.

Jisung sticks his tongue out at Hyunjoon, who hurls a handful of sugar packets at him. He grins at his teammates. “First of all, I’d like to thank you _clowns_ for actually voting for me! Sike! But I’m going to chalk it up to my natural charm and leadership skill and maybe my unmatched good looks-”

“Sit your ass down, Jisung.” Coach Park mutters.

“Of course, dear Coach.” Jisung nods graciously, lowering himself onto the sofa but not without one last ugly, triumphant sneer in Hyunjoon’s direction.

“Fuck you, you little-” Hyunjoon starts, but Coach Wang catches him by the hood of his hoodie before he can attack Jisung. Hyunjoon pouts at the Coach. “I demand a recount.”

“Done. You got five votes and Jisung got six.” Coach Wang says, standing in the space between the two juniors.

“_One_ vote difference? That’s not statistically significant!” Hyunjoon gasps. He turns to Coach Park, who looks away quickly. “Right, Coach?”

Coach Park shrugs. “Sorry, I only know Precalc.”

“Oh _fuck._” Felix says suddenly, remembering Coach Wang’s reaction when he’d told him his vote. “It’s _my _fault, isn’t it?”

Coach Wang sighs. “Yeah, kind of.”

“Thanks, Felix, you’re the best, love you,” Jisung says, blowing a kiss in Felix’s direction.

“Goddammit, Felix!” Hyunjoon groans.

Changbin glares at him, which makes Hyunjoon shrink back in his seat and mumble a tiny apology.

“Well, whatever happens next year,” Coach Park says, just as Jisung’s aunt and uncle come out of the café kitchen with trays of food. “Felix is going to be right there with us.”

Felix’s expression changes. No one else seems to notice, but Changbin hardly looks at anyone else when Felix is in the room.

_He looks sad. _

“Anyway, that’s next year’s problem,” Hyunjin laughs nervously. “Let’s just eat?”

“Good idea. I should’ve voted for Hyunjin.” Sunwoo says thoughtfully.

“No.” Hyunjoon, Jisung, and Hyunjin say at once.

“Why’s everyone so glum?” Jisung’s aunt asks, resting a hand on Felix’s shoulder. She gives him a warm smile. “I thought this was a party?”

“Jisung’s the team captain next year!” Chan grins at her.

Her smile wavers.

“Ha ha, you guys are screwed.” Jisung’s uncle snorts, putting a stack of plates down next to the food.

“Don’t talk about my nephew like that.” Jisung’s aunt wags a finger at her brother, before turning to said nephew with a forced smile. “Congratulations… Jisungie…”

“Awww, thanks, Auntie, I’m going to _kill _it.”

“Yes… I’m sure you will.”

No one sits at Changbin and Felix’s table, though neither of them say anything to the other guys to send them away. Actually, neither of them says anything at all while they eat. What would otherwise have been a very awkward silence is filled with the noise from the other Weevils, anyway.

_Can I still call myself a Weevil? _

“Shouldn’t you be resting at home?” Changbin asks.

“Well, yeah, but this is only for a little while anyway,” Felix says, just as Jisung jumps onto a table. “And I’m not about to do something like _that_.”

Changbin doesn’t even look in Jisung’s direction. He keeps looking at Felix. “You’re not grounded?”

“I am,” Felix says. “But I told them this party was for you and they brought me here.”

Changbin grins, taking another bite of fried chicken.

Felix tries to chew and swallow his food, but his throat is so tight that every bite goes down like a pebble. _How am I going to tell him? How am I going to tell him? _He thinks again and again, like a bell ringing in his head. _How am I going to tell him?_

Changbin’s phone starts ringing. He wipes one hand off on his jeans to answer it. “Hey, Dad, I’m sorr- Oh, yeah, it’s fine. Yeah. It was just some stuff. Yeah. I’ll go there now.”

Felix looks up with a frown. “You’re leaving already?”

“Yeah, I’ve got to help Dad with the stuff.” Changbin says. “We’re moving today.”

“Oh. Right.” _How the hell did you forget, Felix?_

“I’ll just say bye to the other guys-”

“I need to talk to you, Changbin.”

Changbin stops in the middle of getting up. His brow furrows in worry. “Sorry, Lix, but I’ve got to-”

“I know, you have to go now,” Felix says. “But can we talk later?”

Changbin seems to study Felix’s face for a long time, but Felix has the inkling it just feels like a long time to him.

“Yeah, of course.” Changbin says finally. “I’ll just help Dad with the stuff then go to your place after dinner.”

Felix opens his mouth to say that he’d rather not have to explain things to Changbin _in his bedroom_, but he realizes his stupid ankle won’t let him have even that. “Yeah. Okay.”

“I’ll see you later.” Changbin leans to kiss Felix on the cheek.

Felix looks up to see what Changbin’s expression is like, but he’s already gone to the other guys.

“Whaaaat? Alreaaady?”

“Come on, it’s not even late! The sun’s still out!”

“Yeah, we’ll be here all night!”

Felix looks back down at the one chicken wing he’s been working on for the past fifteen minutes or so. He could usually clean a whole plate of wings in that time, but he’s doing everything he can right now to keep it down. _Okay. I’ll tell Changbin everything later. No big deal._

_It’s not like I even passed the auditions or anything, it’s not a big deal. _

_No big deal, _Felix repeats to himself, watching Changbin wrestle his way out of Jisung and Chan’s grasps to escape through the front doors.

“Nooo! Changbin! Don’t goooo!” Jisung shouts after him, with all the subtle emotion of a lead in an afternoon drama. Chan laughs so hard he has to sit down on the café’s front steps. “Nooooooooooooo!”

“I’ll see you guys on Monday, goddammit!” Changbin’s voice carries in from outside.


	64. F

“Let him say goodbye.”

“What? There’s not much to-”

“Dongho.” Teacher Ahn’s stern tone makes Changbin stand up a little straighter, even though she hasn’t been his teacher in a while. “He’s lived there his whole life.”

“Well, actually, when he was born, we were still living with my-”

“Dongho.”

“Yup. Sorry.”

Changbin steps back into the apartment. Now that it’s empty, it actually looks pretty big. _I could do a couple cartwheels in here_, he thinks, _if I knew how_. The yellowish walls seem to hold the outlines of the missing furniture, like they’re still there, only they’ve turned invisible.

Changbin’s footsteps echo as he turns down the hallway, now wide enough for him to have to reach out to touch the walls, without the cabinets and boxes and rusted-over appliances that used to be stacked along either side.

The wall and door to his room are gone. He knew they were, because his dad_ had_ told him that he’d take them out while Changbin was at school.

But still, Changbin expects them to be there. Just because they always have.

There’s nothing left but the nails and bits of plywood that Changbin’s dad hadn’t been able to pry off, and a few dust bunnies left behind on the tiled floor. _It looks like a laundry area again. _

_The next renter will probably use it for that._

_It’s too small to be a room. _

_Well, not for an adult, at least._

Changbin opens the circuit breaker by the front door and shuts everything down. The light from the early evening outside casts a dim blue light in through the windows. Changbin doesn’t like the way the apartment looks in that light, so he walks back out of the apartment to find Teacher Ahn arguing with his dad. His shoulders ease up a little at the sight of something normal.

“What do you _mean_ you can’t get the deposit back?”

“We _can’t_, Hyejin,” Changbin’s dad insists, running a hand agitatedly through his hair. “Because of Changbin’s- Ah, hey, Changbin, you done?”

Changbin nods. He’s not in a talking mood.

Changbin’s dad locks the door to the apartment shut. Then he takes a big, deep breath.

Changbin’s standing behind him, so all he sees is his dad’s shoulders sag. He’s never seen his dad looking like anything other than a giant, but he looks even smaller than Teacher Ahn right now.

The History teacher rests a hand on Changbin’s dad’s shoulder. “Sure you guys don’t want to have dinner at my place first?”

“No thanks, Hyejin. They’re expecting us there already.” Changbin’s dad turns to Changbin, ruffling Changbin’s (styled) hair. “Come on, Changbin. My rental on that truck’s by the hour.”

Changbin nods.

“Oh, Changbin!” Felix hears his papa from outside his room. “Have you had dinner yet?”

If Changbin replies, it’s too quietly for Felix to hear through the door.

“Felix is in his room.”

Felix tries not to look guilty when the door opens.

“Hey.” He says.

“Hey.” Changbin says.

Felix looks up. Changbin’s not even looking his way. He’s looking around Felix’s room in a weird way, like he’s measuring its dimensions with his eyes. Felix pretends not to notice, sliding notifications on his phone away as he sits up in his bed.

“No, you don’t need to get up, I’ll just sit here,” Changbin says, settling into Felix’s computer chair. “How’s your ankle?”

“It’s fine.” Felix says, laying his phone facedown on the bedcover next to him.

They sit there for some time, kind of facing each other but not looking at each other.

“Uh, how was it?” Felix asks. “Moving, I mean.”

“Fine.” Changbin says. “We’ll worry about unpacking the rest of the stuff this weekend.”

Felix nods.

He can’t think of any other mundane thing to waste their time asking about.

“You wanted to talk?” Changbin asks, probably thinking the same thing.

“Yeah.” Felix irons out the bedcovers on either side with his hands. “It’s about yesterday.”

Felix wishes Changbin would ask questions, like force it out of him a little, but Changbin just tilts his head, waiting for Felix to go on.

“It was stupid.” Felix says.

Changbin still doesn’t say anything.

“I went to Seoul for an audition.” Felix says. “For a performing arts school there.”

“The one your dad’s student went to?”

Felix stares at Changbin. He feels like the air’s been knocked out of him. _Who the fuck told him? Who the fuck could’ve told him? _

“I, uh,” Changbin’s face reddens a little. “I’m sorry, I overheard you and your dads talking about that a while back.”

Felix’s dinner turns in his stomach, deciding whether it’s going to stay down. “It’s not- It’s fine, I should’ve been the one to tell you anyway. Actually, I should’ve asked you before I even applied.”

“Asked me?” Changbin frowns. “Why?”

“Because you’re my boyfriend.” Felix says. It takes a lot of self-respect to stop himself from adding, _Aren’t you?_

The corner of Changbin’s mouth curls up in amusement. “What’s that got to do with it?”

_There’s no way he’s this dense._

“Because,” Felix says slowly. “If I get in, I could be leaving for Seoul.”

“When do the results come out?”

“Monday.”

“I hope you get in.”

“Yeah, I don’t think I will- _What_?” Felix almost stands up, but pain shoots up from his ankle before he can. “Ow, fuck.”

Changbin’s already made his way across the room to the side of the bed. “Are you okay?”

Changbin’s hands are warm and gentle as they help Felix back into a comfortable position on the bed. It feels nice, as it always does when Changbin holds him, but the content feeling in Felix’s body and the confusion hurting his head have him frowning.

“Do you want me to leave?” He asks in a small whisper, like he doesn’t want anyone to hear.

Changbin sits at the edge of the bed, looking right into Felix’s eyes. “Of course not.”

“Then… what the fuck?”

“I hope you get in.” Changbin says again. “I know this is important to you.”

“_We’re_ important to me.”

“Yeah, but you love dancing so much, and you’re so good at it, you should be-”

“I love _you_, Changbin!” Felix says, hitting the bedcovers with one fist. “Aren’t you even a _little_ worried that we won’t last if I move away?”

Changbin blinks at him. He looks so innocent that he couldn’t possibly be faking it, but Felix still holds out hope that he is.

Changbin looks away. “I wasn’t… I don’t know if there’s a nicer way to say this, but you know, there’s no point pretending we’re going to last forever.”

Felix is so angry that his vision’s starting to blur. _Or maybe I’m crying. That would be so annoying. _

“That’s just how relationships are, Felix,” Changbin shrugs slowly. “We both knew that getting into this, right?”

“What the fuck, Changbin? How could you get into a relationship thinking about breaking up!”

“It’s not like that,” Changbin says, resting a hand on Felix’s.

“I get that it didn’t work out for your parents, but we’re not like them.” Felix tugs his hand away. He wishes he could get up and walk away, storm out of the room and slam the door, but his stupid fucking ankle won’t even give him _that_.

“It’s not like that. It’s like when you go into a baseball match, you have to know that you could lose,” Changbin says. “So that you don’t get angry and blame each other when you do. It’s being mature about it.”

“Fuck that.”

“I think that school will be good for you. Better than ours, definitely. I just want what’ll make you happy, Lix.”

“_You_ make me happy.” Felix huffs, blowing away the hair that had fallen over his eyes. “Well, usually you do, but right now you’re just pissing me off.”

Changbin gets off the bed. “I’m sorry.”

“It doesn’t even matter! I fucked up my audition _and_ my fucking ankle and I’m just generally an all-around fuck-up and I’m not going to get in anyway, so there’s no point talking about this!” Felix turns to the wall, blinking away hot tears. “Unless you still want to break up for no fucking reason.”

“Felix-”

“Go, do it.” Felix crosses his arms. “So that I have absolutely nothing going for me.”

Changbin is quiet for a long time.

Felix closes his eyes, feeling tears fall down his cheeks in a steady stream he can’t stop. _What’ll I do if he does it?_

“I think I should go now,” Changbin says gently. “So I can catch the last bus.”

Felix stays turned to the wall. “Bye.”

“All of us seniors have the week off next week, so I won’t be at school.”

“I know.”

“I’m sorry for… Being like this.”

Felix tends to forget how much older Changbin is than he is, but he’s never been more aware of it than just now.

_I’m the one who should be sorry, _Felix thinks, but he doesn’t say it out loud.

Because he’s still a kid, and he’s just petty like that.

“Bye, Felix.” Changbin says. “Good night.”

Felix just shrugs, still turned to the wall. He hears the door to his room open and close quietly, as if Felix were asleep and Changbin were afraid of waking him up.

“I’ll head out now, Uncle Matt,” Changbin’s voice carries through the door.

“Already?”

“Felix is tired. I didn’t wanna keep him up too late.” Changbin says, with a little chuckle.

Felix’s papa laughs. “Oh, yeah, he shouldn’t have gone to that party, I knew it would tire him out.”

“Need a lift home, Changbin?” Felix’s dad asks from further away, probably the kitchen.

“No thanks, Uncle Jae, I can still catch the bus if I go now.”

“Oh, okay. You take care going home, okay?”

“Yeah, will do. Good night!”

“Night, Changbin.”

Felix hears the front door open. There’s an impulse to get up and run after Changbin, catch him before he leaves, but his goddamned ankle holds him back.

Felix winces as he lowers himself to lie down in his bed.

_You know it’s not your ankle._

Felix tucks his face into his pillow, feeling like pure shit as he soaks it with his tears. 

_Monday morning_

Felix wakes up from a beam from sunlight on his face. The light’s coming from the crack between his curtains, but he knows that the sun would only be there if it were already too late to go to school.

Felix sits up, checking his phone. Sure enough, it’s almost 10 in the morning.

> _6 new messages in _W____ HIGH DANCE CLUB (•ω•`✿)
> 
> _32 new messages in _We’re So Fucked Next Year 👉👌
> 
> _1 new message from Bin _❤

Felix swipes the third notification away before opening the dance club’s group chat. He’s been ignoring that text for two days running, and he’s not about to quit now.

> _Yeji: _FELIX!!! TELL US IF YOU GET IN OK?
> 
> _Chaeryeong: _Yeah! 🥰
> 
> _Chaeryeong: _We have to know what kind of flowers to get u haha 👉👈
> 
> _Ryujin: _wtf y r we gtting him flowers
> 
> _Ryujin: _hes not dead lmao
> 
> _Yeji: _Anyway just let us know ok captain???

Felix types out a message, thinks about it, then closes the chat without sending anything. He opens the other group, though he doesn’t know why.

> _Hyunjoon changed the group name from _Jackson Wang’s Devout Followers 🙏😔😿 _to_ We’re So Fucked Next Year 👉👌
> 
> _Sunwoo: _OMG HAHHAHA
> 
> _Youngjae: _RIIIIIP @Jisung
> 
> _Hyunjin: _💀💀💀
> 
> _Jisung: _oo someone’s SALTY
> 
> _Jisung: _stay struggling Not Captain @Hyunjoon
> 
> _Hyunjoon: _OK ADMIT IT HOW MUCH DID HE PAY YOU CLOWNS
> 
> _Jisung: _AS IF I HAVE THAT KIND OF MONEY
> 
> _Hyunjoon: _WE ALL KNOW THESE MFS ARE CHEAP AF
> 
> _Dongpyo: _this is why ur not the captain
> 
> _Youngjae: _AKSJKSAKCKSAKCJASKCKJCKKJKJASCKSCK
> 
> _Hyunjin: _I love you @Dongpyo
> 
> _Sunwoo: _HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
> 
> _Sunwoo: _Press F to pay respects
> 
> _Hyunjin: _F
> 
> _Youngjae: _F
> 
> _Jisung: _F
> 
> _Chan: _ **👍**
> 
> _Jisung: _holy fucking shit CHAN AHAHSHACJHAHC
> 
> _Chan: _No! I was trying to change the group name!
> 
> _Dongpyo forwarded a message: _Press F to pay respects
> 
> _Youngjae: _F
> 
> _Hyunjin: _F
> 
> _Jisung: _F
> 
> _Hyunjoon: _F
> 
> _Chan: _Please change the group name there are kids here…
> 
> _Dongpyo: _👋
> 
> _Sunwoo: _AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
> 
> _Youngjae: _Fuck Jisung I think @Dongpyo should be captain next year
> 
> _Hyunjin: _😂😂😂
> 
> _Chan: _Guys please… 😭

Felix finds himself smiling, but only for a moment. He closes the chat. He’s thinking about opening the message from Changbin when someone knocks on the door.

“Felix?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you going to have breakfast or will you just wait for lunch?”

Felix’s phone buzzes.

> _New email from SPAH Admissions_

“Felix?” Felix’s papa knocks on the door again.

Felix’s fingers tremble as he opens the email. “Hang on a sec, Pops.”

A notification pops up at the top of his screen while he’s reading the email.

> _2 new messages from Bin _❤

Felix swipes them away aggressively, but his finger lingers too long and opens the messages.

> _Saturday_
> 
> _Bin: _How are you?
> 
> _Monday_
> 
> _Bin: _I know you’re still probably mad at me, but let me know how things turn out with the performing arts school, okay? I love you.

The door to Felix’s door opens. “You okay, Felix?”

Felix looks up at his papa, shaking his head.

“What happened?” His papa asks, running to sit at the side of Felix’s bed. “Are you hurt? How’s your ankle?”

“The school emailed me.”

“Oh.” Felix’s papa wraps his arms around Felix, clutching him so tightly it doesn’t seem like he’ll ever let go. “Oh, Felix, I’m sorry. It’s okay, you gave it a good shot and this doesn’t mean you aren’t good, it’s just not your time-”

“No, Papa.” Felix says quietly, burying his face in his papa’s sweater. “I got in.”


	65. Ma City – BTS (song recommendation by Lee Minho)

_Monday _

Changbin nods politely, pinning himself to the wall to give one of the other boarders space to climb up the stairs. He runs into two more of the other boarders, so it takes him an age and a half to get down to the kitchen.

“Ah, you’re up.” Changbin’s dad says, sipping coffee while he watches the morning news with another one of their new neighbors (or housematses?), the old man who used to sell ice cream in the park every summer.

“No school today?” Asks the old man, whom Changbin vaguely remembers to be a Mr. Joo.

“No, Changbin’s a senior, so he’s just waiting for graduation now.”

“What? A senior already?” Mr. Joo – or at least Changbin hopes he is – claps excitedly. “Congratulations, young man.”

“Thank you.” Changbin says.

“Any plans for today, Changbin?” Changbin’s dad asks.

“Chan and I are going to help repaint the seniors’ center function room.”

“Ah.” Changbin’s dad shrugs. “Have fun.”

“Pick a good color, please,” Mr. Joo says. “I’m starting to lose my mind staring at that ugly _green_.”

Changbin laughs. “Will do, sir.”

The weather outside the windows looks so nice and blustery that Changbin gets off the bus two stops early to walk the rest of the way. The sky above is a dimensionless pale gray that Changbin passes on the street frowns at, but Changbin just hums to one of those songs Jisung listens to on repeat while he walks.

He reaches the seniors center a couple minutes later than he and Chan had agreed on, but Chan hasn’t texted him in a panic yet, so he assumes Chan hasn’t started yet.

Changbin steps into the seniors’ center lobby, trying not scrunch his nose up at the wet newspaper-y smell inside. Someone’s sitting at the front desk, blasting an old Linkin Park song over a small radio.

“M- Mr. Tuan?”

“Ah, hey Changbin,” Mr. Tuan says, reaching over to turn the volume on his radio down. “Chan’s in the function room, but we’re still waiting on the paint.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Any door on the right,” Mr. Tuan says, hitching a thumb to the hallway to his left.

Changbin nods. “Thanks. Oh, and Mr. Tuan?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m still sorry about the animal shelter.”

Mr. Tuan smiles. “Thanks, kiddo. But this gig is pretty much the same, with a lot less shit-scooping.”

Changbin laughs.

Chan and Changbin have been playing foot volleyball using a rolled-up piece of newspaper for the better part of an hour when the door to the function room opens.

“Well, I should’ve known.”

Chan frowns, only flinching a little bit when the newspaper ball hits him in the face. “_Minho_?”

The Bears’ captain – _or should I say former captain? _Changbin wonders – pushes a cart loaded with several cans of paint into the function room.

“What are you doing here?” Changbin asks.

“My dad donated all the paint.” Minho says, bringing the cart to a stop in the middle of the room. “I think he’s trying to reach a tax return.”

While Chan works that out in his head, Changbin walks over to the cans of paint. “Why are there so many different colors?”

“What?” Minho squats, squinting at the cans. “They’re supposed to be white.”

Changbin points at a can that reads, _Light Green. _“That’s not white.”

“Goddamn it.” Minho grumbles, sorting through the cans. “We’ve got five whites.”

Changbin looks around the room. “That won’t cover all the walls.”

“Goddamn it.” Minho crosses his arms. “I can go make a runner to the hardware-”

“What’ll we do with all the colored ones?” Chan asks, picking up one that reads, _Cerulean Blue._

“The hardware will probably take it back if we haven’t opened them.” Minho says. The he frowns at the lid of the Cerulean Blue can. “Goddamn it, they’re already opened.”

“Guess that’s why your dad donated them.” Chan shrugs.

“Asshole.” Minho looks up at Changbin, who’s been staring at the far wall of the function room. “What’re you thinking?”

“That wall doesn’t have any windows on it.” Changbin says.

“Okay, forget it, he’s not thinking.” Minho grumbles, loading all of the paint cans they’d removed back onto the cart. “I’ll make a trip to the hardware-”

“We could make a mural.” Changbin says. “With all the colored paint.”

Minho snorts. “You could make a _what_?”

“Changbin’s good at drawing.” Chan says defensively.

“As if God would give him all that _and _the ability to draw,” Minho scoffs, waving a hand over Changbin’s entire body.

Changbin’s already picked up a marker and some of the scrap paper lying around. “There’s a lot of tan and green, so I was thinking we could make a view of the city from the mountain.”

Minho and Chan watch over Changbin’s shoulders while he sketches out a design.

“We should probably get a reference photo,” Minho says.

“Yeah, that’d be great.” Changbin agrees.

“I could run up the mountain and get one.” Chan offers.

“No.” Changbin and Minho say at once.

Minho pulls his phone out. “Do you think the university would have one?”

“Maybe?” Chan shrugs. “Or I can run and get one-”

“No, Chan seriously.” Changbin laughs.

“Son of a bitch, these are all pictures _of_ the university.” Minho grumbles, scrolling agitatedly through his search results. “Anyone got other suggestions?”

There’s a long, thoughtful pause between the three of them, punctuated by chirps from a bird sitting outside the window.

“I could run up the mountain-”

“No.”

“Uh, you think you can open a Minecraft server?” Changbin asks.

Minho stares at him. “If you’re trying to convince me to go with Chan’s plan, it’s working.”

“No, I’m serious. Felix has a Minecraft version of the whole city.” Changbin says, feeling strange saying his boyfriend’s name out loud, though he doesn’t know why. _Because he’s been ignoring me for days?_

_I hope he’s doing all right._

“The _whole_ city? Does that kid even go to school?” Minho makes a face, but he hands his phone over to Changbin.

Changbin ignores him as he opens Felix’s streaming channel, looking for the most recent video. He realizes that he hasn’t been watching Felix’s streams for a few months now. _Why would I, when I have the real Felix?_

Changbin picks the latest one, from three weeks before.

“What up, it’s ya boi Felix,” Felix grins onscreen. “I know I haven’t streamed in a while, but I’ve been pretty busy with uh, _stuff_.”

Felix breaks into a self-conscious snicker, and it makes Changbin smile despite everything.

“Felix is really handsome, huh,” Chan hums.

“I’d call him more photogenic, but sure,” Minho shrugs. “Pretty boy.”

Changbin tries not to look too smug as he scrubs through the video, waiting for Felix to zoom out and show what his city looks like so far. _Ah, there it is-_

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT!” Chan yells, loudly enough that Mr. Tuan bursts through the door.

“What happened?” The seniors’ center administrator gasps, clearly not having run this fast in a long time.

“Mr. Tuan! You’ve got to see this!” Chan says, waving Mr. Tuan over.

Mr. Tuan joins their little huddle squinting at Minho’s phone. Onscreen, Felix is flying above the city, which is even nicer than Changbin remembers. Changbin’s chest swells with pride, watching the others watch with their mouths hanging wide open.

“That’s amazing.” Mr. Tuan says. “Is this that Fortnite thing?”

Minho and Changbin sigh, but Chan politely says, “No, Mr. Tuan, I think it’s the Minecraft thing.”

Changbin hits the pause button just as Felix turns to give a perfect view of the city from the mountain. “There. That should do it, right?”

“Yeah.” Chan nods eagerly.

“You’ll just have to make things a little less uh, _pixelated_, but yeah.” Minho agrees.

“Wait,” Mr. Tuan frowns. “What are you doing?”

_Tuesday _

Changbin hops down the stairs, all but gluing himself to the wall each time one of the other boarders needs to go the opposite way. “Good morning!” He says brightly to each one.

“’Morning, Changbin.” His dad says, taking a sip of his coffee just as Changbin comes down the stairs. “You’re up early for vacation.”

“We’re going to work on the seniors’ center,” Changbin says.

“Still? Must be a pretty big room.” His dad frowns.

“Yeah.” Changbin shrugs.

He checks his phone, which had been charging downstairs (there weren’t enough sockets upstairs for him to plug it in there).

His shoulders droop when he sees that Felix still hasn’t replied to him.

“Don’t worry about it,” Chan says, huffing as he climbs down the ladder to put more paint on his roller. The seniors’ center didn’t have a long enough roller brush to reach the top of the wall, so Chan’s been painting the wall in tiny sections, having to move the ladder each time. “It’s the last month of school, so he’s probably swamped with work.”

“Yeah.” Changbin says, not entirely convinced. _He talks to me _more_ when he’s got a lot of work to do._

“Don’t worry about it.” Chan says again as he heads up the ladder. “I’m sure he’ll call you up when he’s not so busy anymore.”

Minho walks into the room with two giant bags of food. “Who are we talking about?”

Chan and Changbin turn to their respective walls and continue working in silence.

“You bitches.” Minho grumbles, laying the bags on the nearest table. He opens the bags, letting the scent of freshly cooked waffles ride on top of the heavy paint smell. “I guess all this breakfast is for me, then?”

Chan scrambles down the ladder, dropping the roller brush in the shallow pan of white paint so he can _sprint_ over to Minho like a starved man. “Changbin’sboyfriendisn’ttextinghimbackbutit’snotabigdeal, thanks for breakfast, Minho.”

“Chill the fuck out, didn’t you have dinner last night?” Minho laughs, handing Chan one container of waffles.

“I had breakfast this morning too, but food is food.” Chan says, wiping the white paint on his hands off on his gray shirt before digging into the waffles.

Changbin sighs, painting the slope of the mountain this deep purple color he’d gotten from mixing a bunch together. “Chan’s only loyalty is to food.”

“Sorry.” Chan hangs his head in shame, half a waffle hanging out of his mouth.

“So,” Minho says, dragging one of the plastic chairs over so he can sit next to Changbin and fix him with a curious look. “What’s up with you and E-boy?”

“Nothing.” Changbin says, painting outside of his sketch line in irritation. _I guess the mountain’s gonna be less steep thanks to Minho. _“And his name is Felix.”

“Good nothing or bad nothing? I’m guessing the latter, if he’s not texting you.”

“He’s just busy with school stuff.”

“Real boyfriends whine _more_ when they’re busy with school stuff,” Minho hums, taking a huge bite out of his waffles. “Unlesh the shkool shtuff ish jusht a fwont.”

Changbin glares at him.

Minho chews and swallows before giving Changbin a placid smile. “Did you two fight?”

“Felix would never fight.” Chan says from the far end of the room.

“Well, then, did _you_?” Minho asks Changbin.

Changbin ignores him, but he paints out of the line again.

_Wednesday_

Changbin walks down the stairs, pressing himself against the wall to let the other boarders up.

“Still working at the seniors center?” Changbin’s dad asks.

“Yeah.”

“Are they paying you for that?” Mr. Joo asks, pouring himself a cup from the coffee maker.

“No.”

“Well, that’s some _bullshit_.” Mr. Joo shakes his head. “Makes you wonder where our taxes go.”

“Call him.” Minho says flatly, painting the window frame nearest to Changbin a pale spring green.

“No, if he doesn’t want to talk to you, he won’t like it if you just call out of nowhere.” Chan says, painting a window frame across the room.

“I’m giving him space.” Changbin says, mostly to himself, as he fills in the second layer of some of the buildings, picking out the shadows for windows and doors.

“Did he ask for space?” Chan asks.

“You know what that means, right?” Minho says.

“No, Minho, what _does_ it mean?” Changbin mutters, just to humor him.

“It means he’s cheating on you.”

“No, that’s not what it means, don’t listen to him.” Chan says quickly. He frowns at Minho. “Stop being a bad influence.”

“Sharing my experience isn’t being a bad influence.”

“Sorry you dated such shitholes in the past, Minho,” Changbin says, dipping his brush to get more paint for the next row of buildings.

Minho doesn’t even flinch. “Pretty boys always hurt you.”  
  


_Thursday_

Changbin trudges down the stairs. One of the other boarders, tries coming up, but she catches sight of Changbin’s expression and pins _herself_ against the wall to let him pass.

“Thanks.” He mutters.

“Hey Changbin,” Changbin’s dad frowns when he sees Changbin come down the stairs. “Working at the seniors’ center again?”

“They ought to just regularize you at this point.” Mr. Joo mutters, holding a mug of coffee out to Changbin.

“Thanks, Mr. Joo.” Changbin chuckles, taking a sip of coffee. “But none of the employees there are regularized, I think.”

“Ah, shit.”

Changbin hears someone other than Chan and Minho and Mr. Tuan talking behind him, but he doesn’t mind them. He keeps painting the little trees, counting the strokes in his head. It’s nice, robotic work he doesn’t need to put much effort into.

“And this is Seo Changbin, he’s the one making the mural,” Mr. Tuan says.

“Oh this is _lovely_, dear,” An elderly woman’s voice says from behind Changbin. “What is it supposed to be?”

Changbin turns to find an elderly woman who looks vaguely familiar. Wherever he knows her from, her face looks annoying. _Punchable, almost. _

_Not that I’d ever punch an old lady._

“It’s a view of the city from the mountain,” Mr. Tuan explains to the woman.

The woman’s mouth curls as she looks over Changbin’s painting. “Wouldn’t it be better to have a view of the mountain from the city?”

Changbin glares at her. He’s tempted to hand her the paintbrush and say, _Sure, if you want that, go do it yourself._

“I thought this was going to be a surprise for the seniors,” Minho says, grimacing at the elderly woman. Changbin smiles at him. He’s beginning to like Minho. _This week is _that_ bad, huh._

“Well, uh, Ms. Ko wanted a sneak peek,” Mr. Tuan says tensely, warning Minho with his eyes, blinking anxiously as if sending a message by Morse code. “Since she’s the President of the Senior Community.”

Minho grins. “How does one become _President_ of the Senior Community?”

“By annual election.” Ms. Ko says, pursing her thin lips at Minho with a look of pure disapproval.

“Was no one running against you?”

Mr. Tuan clears his throat loudly. “Anyway, Ms. Ko, let’s leave the kids to finish their work-”

“Wait, Ms. Ko…” Changbin says, brow furrowed as he racks through his memory. “You’re the Parks’ crazy neighbor!”

Mr. Tuan looks close to passing out, but Minho starts laughing.

If the elderly woman pursed her lips any tighter, they would simply pucker away and vanish. “Ah. Are you friend of theirs?”

Changbin gives her an amiable smile. “Yeah, I dated one of them a while back.”

Ms. Ko’s mouth goes from pursed to a half inch of its life to her jaw dropping to the floor.

“I think that’s enough sneak peeking, don’t you think, Ms. Ko?” Mr. Tuan says tensely, trying to guide the elderly woman to the door, but it seems she’s been turned to stone.

“Didn’t you date the other one, Mr. Tuan?” Changbin asks loudly.

‘I will kill you.’ Mr. Tuan mouths at him, all but shoving the elderly woman out of the function room. His voice goes up a few pitches as he says, “Ha, ha, I really don’t get the way kids joke these days!”

_Friday_

Changbin’s stomping down the stairs when one of the other boarders stands in his way.

“You _heard_ me coming down!” Changbin groans. “You _knew_ I was using the stairs! Couldn’t you have _waited_?”

“Sorry,” The boarder mumbles, backing up down the stairs to get completely out of Changbin’s way.

Changbin storms into the kitchen, loudly enough that his dad and Mr. Joo look away from the TV screen.

“Changbin, if you don’t like it, you don’t have to work at the seniors’ center,” Changbin’s dad says gently.

“They’re not even paying you.” Mr. Joo adds.

“That’s not it.” Changbin says, checking his phone as he unplugs it from the wall socket. “That’s not it!”

He doesn’t know why he bothered expecting, but he doesn’t have any new messages from Felix, despite having sent him every possible iteration of _“I’m sorry, I love you, can we talk?”_ every day for almost a week now.

_Do I have to go groveling on my knees? Beg for forgiveness? What the hell does Felix _want_?_

The screen door of the boarding house slams against the wall when Changbin throws it open.

“Wait, Changbin, aren’t you going to have breakfast?” Changbin’s dad calls after him.

“Minho will feed me!”

“Oh, you poor thing,” Minho says, patting Changbin on the head. “I didn’t bring any food today, sorry.”

“I think the paint fumes are getting to my head,” Changbin mutters. “But can you keep patting my head like that?”

“Sure.” Minho says. “BANG CHAN! Get your ass here and comfort Changbin!”

“But I want to finish painting the fucking wall,” Chan whines. “We’ve been here for _days_.”

“Fuck the wall! Changbin’s boyfriend is ignoring him!”

Chan sighs and frowns at the last section of wall left for him to paint. Then he lowers the roller brush and walk over to join Minho patting Changbin on the head.

“I’m sure they’ve got some work for- Oh.” Mr. Tuan freezes in the doorway, frowning at the three of them. “What the fuck is going on?”

“We’re comforting Changbin.” Chan replies, patting Changbin on the head while the latter sits on the floor, hugging his knees.

“Y’all want us to leave?”

Changbin looks up to find Shin Ryujin standing next to Mr. Tuan, wearing a t-shirt and baggy pants. _What?_

“Behave like normal people,” Mr. Tuan hisses at the boys, all but pushing Ryujin into the room with them. “This is Shin Ryujin, she goes to your school-”

“Hi Ryujin!” Chan says. “Nice to meet you!”

“I know Ryujin.” Changbin says.

“I don’t even go to the same school as these guys.” Minho says.

Mr. Tuan sighs. “Just give her something to do until lunch time, okay?”

“Okay, Mr. Tuan.” Chan says, giving the administrator a thumbs up.

Mr. Tuan sighs again, but he leaves the room, probably hoping for the best.

Ryujin stuffs her hands in her pockets as she walks over. “So, what are you three in for?”

Changbin, Minho, and Chan frown at her.

“What do you mean?” Changbin asks, getting up.

“Why’re you guys doing community service?” Ryujin asks.

“Because we volunteered,” Chan says, deeply confused.

“I had nothing better to do,” Minho shrugs.

“You mean you guys don’t have any disciplinary case,” Ryujin starts slowly. “And you just went here and offered free labor _all on your own_?”

“Uh… yeah?” Changbin says.

“What’re _you_ doing community service for?” Chan asks her.

“Cutting too many classes.” Ryujin shrugs. “Just some bullshit, don’t worry, I’m not a delinquent.”

“I think that is the textbook definition of delinquent.” Minho says.

“_Textbook definition, _haha. You guys are funny.” Ryujin says, surveying Changbin’s mural with her hands behind her back. “This is really nice, Mr. Felix’s boyfriend.”

Chan and Minho look at her with their eyes wide in panic, but Changbin just says, “My name’s Changbin.”

“Right, Changbin.” Ryujin nods. “Anyway, what should I do?”

“You can help me paint the last part of that wall,” Chan says.

“_Or _she can help us get to the bottom of this.” Minho says, blocking Ryujin’s view of Chan. “You’re pretty close with Felix, right?”

Changbin sighs. “Minho, don’t-”

“We’re in the dance club together, so I guess so, why?” Ryujin shrugs.

“What’s he been up to?” Minho asks.

Ryujin snorts. “Wouldn’t _he_ be able to tell you that?” She says, nodding towards Changbin, who’s started painting again in a vain attempt to pretend this conversation is not happening.

“No, in fact, he would not, because your good friend Felix has been ghosting him.”

“Minho. Stop.” Changbin mutters, but he knows there’s no use. Minho’s nosiness is like a runaway train.

“Oh. Shit. I didn’t know.” Ryujin says, sending an apologetic look Changbin’s way. “He seemed normal when I last talked to him.”

“When was that?”

“Tuesday? I dunno, days are a blur to me.”

Minho narrows his eyes. “What’d you talk about?”

“Dude, what the hell? Are you a _cop_?”

“First of all, how dare you, I would _never_, even though I would look amazing in that uniform.” Minho scowls. “Second, don’t change the subject: What did you talk about.”

“We didn’t really talk, okay, I just said congrats on uh, passing this audition he did.”

Minho turns to Changbin with his mouth and eyes wide. Changbin doesn’t look back. He keeps painting outlines on the buildings, but his hand’s starting to shake. He puts the brush down gently, taking a breath of the paint fume-filled air.

“I’m going for a walk.” Changbin says.

The air is muggy as soon as Changbin steps outside the seniors’ center. The sky looks like a swirl of shit in a toilet bowl, the buildings look like piles of shit, and the street looks like it’s made of rolled out, dried _shit_.

_I made this place look too pretty in that goddamn painting._

Changbin doesn’t know where he’s walking to, so he’s just walking. He passes the street with the café, but he’s not about to bother Jisung’s aunt and uncle. He would’ve bothered Jisung for sport, if Jisung hadn’t been at school right now.

So he keeps walking. He walks right past the turn that would’ve taken him to school, because he _did_ think about storming in and looking for Felix, but that’s weirdo behavior, and Changbin’s not like that.

Changbin doesn’t know what he is. He’s just walking. He walks past the church, the bowling alley, the shopping center, and it’s by the time he’s walked past the construction site that used to be the animal shelter than he realizes he’s been walking for kind of a long while.

_Where am I going?_

_I’m hungry._

He walks into the mall. If the cashier at the fast food joint he stops at for a burger is bothered by the paint-splattered, sweaty teen ordering lunch to go, she doesn’t react. _Very professional, _Changbin thinks.

Then he thinks, _Why didn’t Felix tell me he passed the audition?_

Changbin checks his phone again, just for good measure. His conversation with Felix, if you can still call it that, is still just a string of increasingly desperate messages on his end and nothing on Felix’s end.

_This doesn’t make any fucking sense._

_Why does it have to hurt so much? It doesn’t make any sense!_

Changbin finishes his burger and takes his time sorting the trash from the recycling, sighing so deeply that anyone passing by must think that he’s forgotten what “nonbiodegradable” means.

Changbin sits at the nearest bus stop for some time. He doesn’t stay in this part of town much, because it’s the expensive part and you need money to hang out there, so he just sits there and watches the cars go by. They’re not like his dad’s tiny car, or any of the other cars that end up in his dad’s shop. They’re shiny and sleek and probably have to go to certified mechanics when something goes wrong.

He leans against the back of the bus stop, looking at the buildings around him. _Seungmin’s dad’s really gone wild on this place, huh. _

This part of the city looks like they’d gotten bits of Seoul and shrunken them down, just to dump them in this Middle-of-Nowhere sort of valley. Even the people are dressed like they think they’re in Seoul, as if the swarms of bugs from the not-far-off fields aren’t buzzing around them.

Changbin’s been to Seoul. He liked it. _But why does this place have to be like that, too?_

_Why can’t it just be the way it is?_

The bus arrives, and Changbin doesn’t recognize it. A sign stuck to the door even claims to have Wifi onboard.

The door opens.

“Excuse me, but does this pass by the seniors center?” Changbin asks the bus driver.

“No, it doesn’t.”

“Oh.” Changbin nods. “Thank you.”

“I _will_ pass by the shopping center and you can get another bus from there.” The driver offers.

“No thanks, I’ll just walk.”

“To the _seniors’ center_?”

“Yeah, thanks!” Changbin waves, starting off down the street.

The bus follows him, rolling along at a walking pace with the door open.

“Young man, you cannot _walk_ to the seniors’ center.”

“I can,” Changbin assures the bus driver and the two concerned-looking middle-aged women sitting in the second row. “I came from there.”

“You can get on and ride to the shopping center,” One of the women says. “Get a bus to the seniors’ center from there.”

“It’s all right, you can go on ahead,” Changbin says, gesturing for the bus to go on, as if it were no more than another boarder in the house trying to use the stairs. “I’ll be fine.”

The driver still looks unsure as he closes the door, but he has a timetable to vaguely stick to, so he drives off without Changbin.

Changbin keeps walking. He passes the Bears’ school and its’ perfectly manicured hedge (a weird thing to have when a fence would be more useful at keeping the kids in), the houses than span an entire block each, and even the train station, just as a train slows to a stop on the platform.

_I should’ve probably put a train in the station in my painting. _Changbin thinks, heading down the avenue that would take him to the shopping center. _But there isn’t a train in Felix’s city._

_There’s no way in or out of Felix’s city, _Changbin realizes_._

Changbin keeps walking, glad that the clouds are out in full force today, so at least he doesn’t get a sunburn.

Then the clouds give way to rain, just as Changbin turns onto the street his dad’s shop is on.

He turns around and turns on the next street, because he’d rather his dad _didn’t_ know about his walking tour of the city when he’d only said he was going to be at the seniors’ center today.

Changbin trudges through the rain, feeling his jeans weighing him down with every step. His clothes are soaked all the way to his skin by the time he gets back to the seniors’ center.

_I probably shouldn’t go in. I’d give Mr. Tuan more work to do if he had to mop after me-_

“Seo Changbin!”

_Speak of the devil._

The administrator comes out of the lobby with a broad umbrella, squinting at Changbin. “Where the hell have you been?”

“I went out for a walk.”

“Well, did you walk around the entire fucking city?”

Changbin shrugs. “Yeah, pretty much.”

Mr. Tuan frowns at him for a long time, as if he isn’t sure whether to believe Changbin or not. “I’ve got some extra clothes in the car, you can get changed in the garage. Don’t bring any mud inside.”

“Thanks, Mr. Tuan.”

Mr. Tuan only rolls his eyes and starts grumbling something about Jinyoung’s stupid kids.

_I guess I am, _Changbin thinks as he follows the administrator to the garage at the side of the seniors’ center. _I guess I am._

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Mr. Tuan says, leaning on the doorway to the toilet out by the garage. “Go straight to the function room when you get dressed. There’s this kid who’s been waiting for you for _hours._”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still working on editing the earlier chapters, but I felt like posting this one Just Because™. I've been ridiculously busy with school lately idk why online school has to be 99% bullshit


	66. "I love burgers."

Felix had not been waiting for hours. He’d only been at the seniors’ center for all of twenty minutes, ten of which were spent convincing his dad that he’ll be fine on his own.

_“If the elderly can get around here fine on their own, then nothing’s going to happen to a perfectly healthy fifteen-year-old boy with a sprained ankle!” Felix had told his dad. _

Felix makes a face at himself. _That was a bit harsh. _

“Hey.”

Felix tries to get out of his chair and turn around, but it takes just about as long as Changbin needs to walk up to him. So he settles back into his seat, turning back to the wall with what he hopes is a chill expression. “Hi. I lo- I really like your painting.”

“Thanks,” Changbin says, pulling up another of the plastic chairs to sit down. He assumes Chan and the others left earlier, because all the walls and window frames are painted. “But I just copied your Minecraft city.”

“You just- You- _What_?” Felix sputters, spinning in his seat to frown at Changbin.

“I copied your Minecraft city.” Changbin says, pointing at the mural on the wall.

Felix looks at the wall, then back at Changbin, then back at the wall, before bursting out laughing so hard he falls out of his chair. “Ow, fuck.”

Changbin helps him back onto the chair, holding him so tightly that Felix feels he has no choice but to tuck his face into the crook of Changbin’s neck.

“Are you okay?” Changbin asks, his warm breath tickling Felix’s ear.

Felix nods. “Yeah. Fine. I’m fine.”

He turns, knowing full well that their faces are just centimeters apart. He wants to kiss Changbin – when does he _not_ – but he knows better than to do that right now, at least. So he leans back in his chair and looks back at the mural.

“I really like the style you used.” Felix says.

“I was just too lazy to put more details.” Changbin says.

“So painting an entire wall over five days is lazy?”

“Also, it’s not finished.”

“What else is missing?”

Changbin blinks at Felix. “I can’t remember.”

Felix chews on his lip to stop himself from laughing. _No, Felix, you came here for serious stuff. You’ve got to be serious. It’s Serious Felix time._

“I guess you’re here because Ryujin-” Changbin starts saying, just as Felix starts saying,

“I guess Ryujin told you-”

They both stop and pull their mouths into self-conscious lines. “You go first.”

Changbin sighs. “You go first, Felix.”

“Okay.” Felix takes a breath. “I… Uh… Ryujin told you about… Yeah.”

“Yeah.” Changbin looks really hurt.

Felix hasn’t seen him looking like that in a long time. He remembers wanting to beat the shit out of whoever made Changbin look that way. _I guess I’ve got to beat _myself_ up this time._

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you first. Or like, at all.” Felix says. “I’ve been really shitty to you lately, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. You should be tougher on me, like don’t forgive me just like that.” Felix says. “You should be like, _Felix you’re a complete piece of shit, I hate you and I’m going to ignore you for a solid week._”

“Is that what you were thinking about me?” Changbin asks. “_Changbin, you’re a piece of shit, I’m going to ignore you for a week?_”

“No, it was more of, _Wow, Felix, _you _are a piece of shit, Changbin’s right and you just won’t admit it._” Felix says. Then he heaves a sigh. “I wanted to say I was sorry then but I just didn’t. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“You’re saying sorry now,” Changbin says, in that gentle tone that makes Felix’s chest weigh him down a ton. “That’s all that matters to me.”

“Can you just _try_ being immature about it?” Felix groans.

“I’m done with immature, Felix, it gets in the way of loving you.”

Felix blushes. “Shut up, you’re _seventeen_. What do you know?”

“Not much, really.” Changbin says. “You know there’s a bus line that’s just for the rich part of the city?”

Felix frowns at him. “No. I don’t take the bus, sorry.”

“Oh. Right.” Changbin laughs at himself for a moment, but just seeing Changbin smile makes Felix lean back in his seat. “What were we talking about?”

“I don’t know.”

They sit there for some time, listening to the distant strains of the very aggressive rock song Mr. Tuan’s playing in the lobby.

“I’ve been, uh, talking to my dads about stuff.” Felix says. “We, uh, I mean _I_ decided- It was my decision-” He watches Changbin closely as he says, “I’m going to leave, Changbin.”

“I’m glad.”

“Here we go again,” Felix says. “When your boyfriend says they’re moving away, you’re not supposed to say, _Yay! Good riddance!_”

“I didn’t mean it like that, Lix.” Changbin smiles. It’s like someone switched on the sun in this stuffy, paint-smelling room. “What am I supposed to say?”

“I don’t know,” Felix frowns. “What about, _No, don’t go!_”

“You watch too many of your pops’ movies.”

“It’s not like I had any choice in _that_ matter,” Felix scoffs. Then he looks at Changbin again, and the easy smile on his face, and the way that it brings an easy smile on Felix’s face.

That’s what he likes about Changbin. Things are easy. _It’s just hard to get around to saying that. _

“That’s how I feel about you, though.” Felix says. “I don’t want to go because of you.”

“I’m sorry for making this tough for you.”

“Seo Changbin, if you try to apologize to me again, I am going to walk out that door.”

“It’s not going to be very dramatic with the crutches.”

“Fuck you.”

Changbin laughs, and Felix can hardly help but laugh, too. Then Changbin’s smile goes away again.

“What are you thinking?” Felix asks.

“I’m just thinking,” Changbin says, looking at the mural on the wall. “That if I had just gotten into literally _any_ of those universities in Seoul, we wouldn’t have had this problem. I couldn’t even get into _one_.”

Felix reaches out and takes one of Changbin’s hands. “Don’t make it your fault. It’s about me, not you.”

Changbin grins, squeezing his hand. “Yeah, it’s not my fault you’re so ridiculously talented.”

“_I’m_ ridiculously talented?” Felix wags his free hand at the wall in front of them. “Then what the hell is _this_?”

“Just some shit.”

“Well, I love this _Just Some Shit_.”

“You said you just liked it a while ago.”

“Fuck you, Changbin, you’re the one who keeps throwing the L-word around, I’m just catching it from you-”

“_The L-word_?” Changbin snorts. “What are we, middle schoolers?”

Felix grumbles and tries to push Changbin, but he ends up tipping his own chair over.

Changbin catches Felix, pulling him up into his lap.

Felix sits there, straddling Changbin with his hands on Changbin’s shoulders. His ankle’s not giving him much of a choice. Even if he’d wanted to, he couldn’t very well walk away.

Changbin’s lips part. If he’d meant to open his mouth to say something, he doesn’t get to, because Felix leans forward and kisses him. Changbin’s hands rest against Felix’s back, drawing him even closer. Felix leans his entire chest against Changbin’s, bracing his hands on the backrest of the chair while they kiss.

Felix pulls back, gasping for air. “Did you have a burger?”

Changbin blushes. “Two. Sorry.”

“It’s okay, I love burgers,” Felix leans in for another kiss. And a little bit more than what he’d call a kiss.

Changbin pulls back. “Maybe we shouldn’t make out in the seniors’ center. It feels disrespectful.”

“Fuck the old people, they’re not here.” Felix mumbles, leaning forward to catch Changbin’s mouth with his own.

Changbin kisses him back for some time, before missing Felix’s face entirely to rest their cheeks against each other. Felix is about to complain when he feels something wet against his face.

“Changbin- Oh, no Changbin, don’t cry,” Felix says, wiping away some of Changbin’s tears with one knuckle. Felix’s own eyes are starting to sting. “Why does it always end up like this with you?”

“Sorry,” Changbin sniffles. “I cry too much.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love you and all your crying,” Felix tugs the sleeves of his hoodie over one fist to dab Changbin’s face dry. But the tears just keep coming in steady streams, and Felix’s sleeve only has so much material. “Okay, don’t overdo it, it’s not like I’m gonna _die_, Seoul is just a couple hours from here. If I can sneak over there and back in a couple hours, you can do it, too.”

“It’s- It’s-” Changbin gasps for breath a few times before he can say, “It’s not the same.”

Felix heaves a sigh. “No, it isn’t.”

Felix cradles the back of Changbin’s head as the latter leans forward, resting his face on Felix’s shoulder. Felix runs his hands through Changbin’s damp hair. _Did he just take a shower? Where the hell did he come _from_?_

“But like you said,” Felix whispers, combing through Changbin’s hair with his fingers. “Nothing lasts forever.”

“Please don’t break up with me.” Changbin whimpers. “I won’t be able to-”

“I’m not breaking up with you, you idiot. And you’d better not even _think _about it.” Felix says, flicking Changbin on the arm. Then he goes back to stroking Changbin’s wet hair. “All I’m saying is that just because you start school at some place, doesn’t mean you’ve got to finish there.”

“Please don’t try to get kicked out on purpose.”

“Oh my god. For such a smart guy, you really-” Felix takes a breath. “I’m talking about _you_, Changbin.”

Changbin gets off Felix’s shoulder to frown at him. “Me?”

“Like I said, I’ve been talking to my parents,” Felix says. “And Dad was saying, why don’t you try transferring into the school you want in Seoul? Not that you should transfer schools to chase after your boyfriend, even though that’s totally what my Pops did. Anyway, you should transfer because you’re smart enough to go to a big nerd engineering school and make your goddamn bridges and shit – Changbin, are you even listening to me?”

“Your eyes are so pretty,” Changbin says in a dazed tone, staring, of course, into Felix’s eyes.

Felix’s face heats up to his ears. “I would say something about yours, but all I see are your eyebags.”

“Harsh.” Changbin smirks. “But still pretty.”

“Would you fucking listen to me? I’m trying to save our relationship here.”

“I _am_ listening, Lix,” Changbin says. “And yeah, I wasn’t going to quit bothering those universities. You can count on me pestering them until they’re forced to take me in.”

“Good.”

“I’ll go to big nerd school, and you go to dance school, and our kids-”

“Hold up.” Felix frowns. “Kids? We _are_ kids.”

Changbin giggles. “Yeah, we are.”

_Two months later_

“Hiya guys, it’s ya boi, Felix!”

Felix grimaces into the camera. _Why did I ever start my streams that way? Why._

“I haven’t been on here in a while, so I’ll give you uh, a quick life update,” Felix says, rolling around in his chair. “I sprained my ankle a couple months ago, nothing serious, mostly just dumb shit, me trying to do stuff without stretching.”

“Don’t forget to stretch, guys,” Felix says, watching his server load. _Did it always take this long? Or am I just a less patient person? _“But uh, my ankle’s fine now, so no harm done, I’m back on my bullshit.”

“No, wait, I came on here to say I’m _not_ back on my bullshit.” Felix frowns at the camera. _The 126 people watching right now must be hovering over the Close Tab button. _“Uh, I finished my second year of high school, but uh, I’m moving to a new school next year. And a new place. Not this place that I’ve been making on Minecraft for the past couple of… God, it’s been almost two years now.”

Felix glances at the comments popping up on the side of his screen. His throat burns up just looking at them.

He clears his throat.

“Imagine, I’ve been at this for two years and I _still_ haven’t finished it,” Felix laughs at himself, dragging his view all around the city he’s built. “I mean, it’s almost finished. Pretty much finished.”

He looks up at the camera, then dips into a bow.

“Sorry I’m such a mess, I’m really out of practice,” Felix says, zooming around absently on the screen. “Okay. Okay. I’ll stop wasting time. I just came on here to say that I’m not going to continue this project. I’m moving away, so I don’t think it’d be good for my mental or emotional health if I were building this while I was somewhere else… It’d just make me homesick.”

Felix takes his hand off the mouse. _I must be making people nauseous. _

“It’s pretty fucking bold of me to call it _homesick_, when I don’t have an actual hometown.” Felix says. “I mean, my biological parents are Korean, I know that much. But I was born in Australia. And my adoptive parents are from LA. And we lived in LA for some time, then Taipei, then Hong Kong, then Portland, then London-” He notices one of the comments. “Haha, no I’m not trying to flex. You’d think with all that moving around, I’d be used to it by now, but I hate moving.”

Felix leans back in his chair, reading some of the comments. “I really thought I was going to stick around here for a long time- _Yes_, they do have Wifi where I’m going, it’s just that I feel like I’m going to be more serious about school, so I won’t have time for streaming, and I don’t wanna half-ass it…”

Felix’s eyes sting as he looks up at the camera.

“I guess this is goodbye. Maybe I’ll come back when I’m bored again, but for now, it’s goodbye from me… ya boi… Felix.” Felix cringes at himself. “Thanks for everything, all of you guys. Not to be dramatic, but you guys and this channel have helped me though a lot of shit. It sounds so stupid coming from a guy with like, fifty subscribers, but whatever, I really appreciate all of you and I think- I mean, I _know_ I’ll miss your company. Even the ones who leave weird comments.”

He takes a deep breath and closes the livestream before he starts doing something _truly_ embarrassing, like crying on video.

“Hey, are you crying?” Changbin asks, from where he’s been sitting hidden at the side of the room, reading a book.

Felix shakes his head, but when Changbin lowers the book and walks over, the tears start dribbling down his cheeks.

Changbin doesn’t even say anything like, ‘Don’t cry’. He just scoops Felix up in his arms and carries him to the bed, where he lays Felix down with the sort of tenderness you’d expect someone to reserve for a newborn baby. _But my skull’s already fused and he holds me like this anyway._

Felix breaks into sobs. Changbin climbs onto the bed beside him, wrapping Felix in a warm embrace.

“Are you sure you turned the livestream off?” Changbin whispers.

“Why?” Felix sniffles. “Are you about to do something R-rated?”

“Sure, what do you want?” Changbin grins, kissing Felix behind the ear. Felix gets tickled and tries to squirm away, but he’d be a real dumbass if he thought he had any chance of escaping Changbin’s arms.

Felix cracks one eye open and sees the empty cardboard boxes waiting for him to pack his monitors away in. Changbin’s kissing the soft, sensitive skin at the top of Felix’s neck, but he doesn’t feel tickled anymore.

“Hm, what’s wrong?” Changbin mumbles against Felix’s cheek.

“I have so much shit to pack.”

“I told you, I’ll help you.”

“That’s not it.” Felix says. “If I pack, then that means I’m really leaving.”

“You’ve got to go whether you’re packed your shit up or not, Lix.”

“True,” Felix turns to face Changbin, burying one hand in Changbin’s hair. “If I pack you away in that box, does that mean I get to bring you?”

“Are you calling me short?”

“No, but you are.” Felix pats Changbin on the top of his head.

“Fuck you.” Changbin laughs, pinning Felix down by the arms.

“Yes please.” Felix laughs, giving his boyfriend a broad wink. Changbin immediately climbs off, his entire face going bright red. “I was kidding, I know we’re saving it for marriage or some shit.”

“It’s not that, it’s illegal for you and me to- We _can’t_!” Changbin squeaks. “I’m eighteen now and you’re still sixteen-”

“I know, I know, calm down,” Felix grabs a fistful of Changbin’s shirt to pull him back onto the bed. “Are you going to bring that up every time I get silly around you?”

“Yes.”

“God, I can’t wait to be eighteen.” Felix moans. “Literally the second I turn eighteen I fully expect you to fuck me into a coma.”

“That doesn’t sound nice.”

“No, it sounds awesome.” Felix notices Changbin’s worried frown. “I’m kidding, Changbin. When I turn eighteen, we’ll make love and cry together, but knowing you, we’ll probably end up crying too much and we’ll never get around to actually having sex. Deal?”

Changbin flicks Felix with one finger, rolling his eyes. But a second later he wraps his arms around Felix again and says, “Deal.”


	67. “Oh, uh, happy birthday!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANOTHER TIME SKIP! 🥴

_Almost three years later_

Felix rolls over in bed. There’s something tickling his face, so he scrunches up his nose and swats it away. There’s a soft thump as it falls to the floor.

He realizes his alarm is ringing, so he rubs his eyes as he reaches for his phone.

“Shut up, shut up,” Felix mutters, turning his alarm off.

He squints at his screen.

> _1 new message from Hwang Yeji_
> 
> _1 new message from Jeongin Ugly_
> 
> _2 new messages from Jisoo Bitch_

Felix frowns at the notifications. Then he looks at the date. _Oh._

> _Hwang Yeji: _Happy birthday Felix!!! How are you doing?
> 
> _Jeongin Ugly: _YOOOOOOOOOOOOO HBD BRUH
> 
> _Jisoo Bitch: _BIRTHDAY WHORE
> 
> _Jisoo Bitch: _*HAPPY

Felix types quick replies to all of them before rolling over, groaning as he stretches his arms over his head. He swings one leg over the edge of the bed, but his foot lands on something soft, making him scream.

The door to his bedroom swings open. “Felix? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I just-” Felix peers over the edge of the bed at the fluffy stuffed rabbit looking up at him from the floor. _Aw, sorry for stepping on you, dude. _“It’s just Tofu.”

Felix’s papa plucks the rabbit off the floor, placing it back on Felix’s bed as gently as if it were another child of his. “Are you going to school today?”

“Uh, _yeah_, duh.” Felix says, straightening his sheets out under Tofu the stuffed rabbit. “It’s a normal school day?”

“Yeah, but it’s your birthday.” Felix’s papa says.

“Everyone should get a leave on their birthday!” Felix’s dad yells from somewhere else in the apartment. “It’s a _human_ _right_!”

“Jae, you can’t just throw that word around, human rights are serious.” Felix’s papa calls back sternly. Then he turns to Felix with a gentle expression. “But we’re serious, too, if you don’t want to go to school today, it’s fine.”

Felix groans. “You guys have to stop with the experimental parenting stuff, Pops. I’m a student. You should be making me go to fucking school.”

“Hey.” Felix’s papa says. “Watch your language, I’m still your father.”

Felix grins. “That’s more like it.”

Felix squats by his locker, dumping his practice bag and lunch box in while he pulls out his books for the morning.

“Hey.”

Felix looks up. Then he breaks into a smile. “What’s up?”

“Me.” Jisoo says, frowning down at Felix as he crab-walks away from his locker to shut it. “You know you can request for a locker _not_ on the damn floor, right? You’re a senior. Flex it, Felix.”

“I know.” Felix gets up, brushing the dust off the seat of his slacks. “I think I kinda like the floor locker. Reminds me of the good old days.”

“What the fuck.” Jisoo makes a face, but she slings her arm over Felix’s shoulders as they start down the hallway. “What’s the plan for today?”

“Well, I’ve got a Math class in like five minutes, so-”

“No. Oh my god.” Jisoo rubs her temples. “Do I have to spell it out for your pea-sized gay brain?”

Felix grins at her. He loves Jisoo. Unfortunately.

“It’s your _eighteenth_ birthday, dumbass.” Jisoo says. “Where are we getting fucked up?”

“Ah shit, I’ve got rehearsals-”

“That’s not going to work this time!” Jisoo says, tightening her arm around Felix’s neck in a chokehold. A couple of the lowerclassmen scuttle nervously out of their way. Jisoo all bug drag Felix into their homeroom classroom by the neck. “I know Mr. Ko moved all your rehearsals to Tuesday nights! It’s on Yena’s story!”

“No, Jisoo, I-”

“It is a Friday night and you are a legal adult now, we _have_ to get wasted.” Jisoo says, in a tone that is threatening Felix to even _try_ arguing with her. “I’ll message on the gc with Sanha and Arin and Yena – or wait, do you want Yoojung to come along too?”

Felix sighs. Jisoo’s already got her phone out. _She’s gone full Student Council President Choi Jisoo mode. There’s no getting through to her now._

Felix just barely manages to pull the phone away from her before she sends out an invite to half the graduating batch. “Sorry, Jisoo, but I’ve already got plans tonight.”

Jisoo narrows her eyes at him. “What kind of plans?”

“Just uh, stuff.” Felix’s face heats up. “Anyway, let’s just reschedule it-”

“What about tomorrow?”

“I can’t, sorry.” Felix’s entire face is red, all the way to his ears. “My plans tonight are kinda related to that-”

“Lee Felix!” Jisoo gasps. “What kind of slutty endeavor-”

“It’s not slutty, I swear!” Felix squawks, earning a concerned look from their homeroom teacher, who’d just walked into the classroom. “I’m sorry, Ms. Jeon.”

“Sure.” The teacher just nods vaguely. “Oh, by the way, happy birthday, Felix.”

“Thanks.”

“IT’S FELIX’S BIRTHDAY! ON THREE! ONE! TWO! THREE!” Jisoo announces to their classmates, waking them up from the precious few minutes of sleep they were trying to catch. Felix can do nothing but close his eyes in embarrassment as Jisoo leads the class in the loudest rendition of the birthday song they can muster.

Changbin frowns. “It’s not my birthday.”

“Well, no, I know _that_ much.” His uncle says, frowning likewise. “Does it have to be your birthday for me to give you stuff?”

“Well, no, I guess not. But this is…” Changbin crosses his arms, looking over the robin’s egg blue scooter perched innocently on the pavement in front of him. Changbin knows that his uncle doesn’t know the first thing about wheeled vehicles, but _surely_ the man knows how expensive a real, _Roman Holiday_-blue Vespa is.

Changbin does. Just thinking about how much his uncle spent on this scooter is making the hairs at the back of Changbin’s neck stick up.

“Ah, I know!” His uncle snaps. “It’s a prize for you passing that really hard exam last week!”

Changbin sighs. “I didn’t.”

“Oh. Shit.”

Changbin’s uncle groans and sits down at the edge of the curb, despite the fact that he’s wearing a newly-pressed suit.

“You don’t think Vespa take returns, do they?”

“It’s all right, Uncle Minki,” Changbin says, giving his uncle a reassuring pat on the arm. “Thanks for the not-birthday present.”

“You’re welcome, Changbin.”

Changbin smiles at the wind whipping in his face as he rides his scooter down the university avenue. _Dad’s going to lose his mind when he finds out about this. _

_He’s probably going to offer to pay for it. _

_No, he’s not _that_ stupid._

Changbin goes the long way around to his first class, passing by the university’s gym and fields. The baseball team is doing drills in the field when he passes by. Changbin watches them for longer than what his uncle would call “Road Safe,” but watching them makes a familiar warmth bloom in his chest. He hasn’t so much as touched his baseball mitt in years now, but there’s this sudden urge to stop the scooter and join their throw-and-catch drills.

_As if I would, _Changbin snorts, looking back at the road. _I’m so out of practice, a five-year-old T-ball player could beat me._

Changbin turns the scooter around a corner, leaving the field behind and out of sight. The university’s engineering building looms over the street, casting a shadow over Changbin and the other students who couldn’t be fucked to care about being late for their first class.

“Nice ride, dude,” One of Changbin’s similarly unbothered classmates says, nodding approvingly as Changbin locks his scooter to the rack in the parking lot.

“Thanks.”

“Is it new?” Changbin’s classmate asks as they stroll into the building through the back entrance.

“Yeah.” Changbin says, checking if his phone’s on vibrate. _I’m already coming in late, I can’t have my phone ringing on top of that. That’s just rude._

“It’s a bit bright _blue_, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Kind of a sissy color.” Changbin’s classmate says. “Not very macho.”

“I like it. It’s cute.” Changbin mutters, not looking up from his phone. He’s got a couple of texts from other classmates asking him if he has any plans of coming in to class at all, a notification from a game that his lives are full again, and two reminders that he has exams later today. _Ugh. God. More exams to fail. Great._

He swipes all the notifications away and sets the phone on vibrate.

_You’re the one who wanted this, you’re the one who wanted this, you’re the one who wanted this, _Changbin chants to himself in his mind as he walks into the classroom, catching amused looks from his classmates and a bored, disappointed scowl from the professor standing in the light of his powerpoint slides.

“So kind of you to grace us with your presence today, Mr. Seo,” The professor grumbles.

“It’s my pleasure, Professor Yoon,” Changbin dips into a princely bow, drawing out a few snickers from his classmates.

“Your exam’s on the table.”

Changbin stops by the professor’s table, swiping up the paper and folding it half before scurrying up to his seat in the auditorium. He settles into his seat, dumping his backpack on the floor. He takes a deep breath to prepare himself as he begins lifting the corner of his paper.

_Come on, give Uncle Minki a reason to have bought the damn Vespa._

Changbin pulls the sheet of paper open like he’s ripping a band-aid off, in one pained motion.

_43/150, _his score reads in bright red in the upper right corner.

Changbin sinks in his seat, chuckling to himself silently. _Sorry, Uncle Minki. Tough luck._

“Oh, and before I dismiss the class for the day, happy birthday, Felix! How wonderful!”

“Thanks, Madame.” Felix blushes. A couple of his classmates roll their eyes, but his friends wag their eyebrows suggestively at him.

The ballet dance instructor standing at the front of the class doesn’t seem to notice anyone’s reactions, though. _How could she, when all she does for the entire class is stare at me like she’s planning how to cook me for dinner?_

_No, that’s not kind to Madame Kim._

“How old are you now, my dear boy?” Madame Kim asks.

Felix’s friends snort, turning to the dance studio’s walls to hide their faces, contorted from the effort of not laughing.

“Eighteen.”

“Huh?” Madame Kim gasps. She seems genuinely surprised. “But didn’t you _just_ turn seventeen?”

“That was a year ago, Madame.” One of Felix’s friends says, unable to hold himself back.

The dance instructor, as expected, notices nothing. “What are your birthday plans, my dear boy?”

_I swear to every God if the woman calls me that one more time, I’m gonna-_

“Nothing much, Madame. I’m going to spend it with my family.” Felix shrugs. Then he draws his back straight again, so she has absolutely nothing to rag on him about, and she can stop talking to or about him for a change.

She seems to notice one of Felix’s other classmates slouching, so Felix hopes that that’s enough to distract her. Then Felix’s friends just _has_ to out from the back of the room, “Felix has a date, ma’am!”

Madame Kim turns to Felix, her eyes glinting like she’s just figured out how to season Felix before roasting him. “Really?”

Felix shakes his head quickly. “No, I don’t.” He glares at his friend. “Arin is mistaken, Madame.”

“That’s a shame,” Madame Kim clicks her tongue. “Any girl would be so lucky to date you.”

“Uh, girl. Yeah. I mean, yes.” Felix says, only just remembering to add, “Madame.”

Felix ignores the deeply curious look Arin’s shooting him. He shakes his head, as if to say, _I really don’t have a date._

Arin gives him an apologetic look that seems to say, _Sorry, Jisoo just told the whole damn school._

Felix tries to sink into the wall as much as possible while Madame Kim dismisses the class. He waits for the others to file out before walking up to the instructor. “Uh, Madame Kim?”

“Yes, my dear boy?”

“I was wondering if it’s still okay for me to borrow your studio later,” Felix says. “The one outside school.”

“Yes, of course! The key code is still the same,” Madame Kim smiles. _It’s like she has too many teeth._ _Like a shark. _“But it’s your birthday! You shouldn’t worry yourself about practicing, just for today.”

Felix just nods and smiles. “Thanks, Madame Kim, but I, uh…” _Fuck it, I’ll just bullshit my way out of this one. _“It’s not work for me. Dancing, I mean.”

Madame Kim’s toothy smile widens in unbridled affection. “In that case, I hope you enjoy your evening dancing, Felix. Happy birthday again, my dear boy.”

“Thank you.”

Changbin checks his phone as he walks out of one exam (failed, definitely) towards the next (likely also a fail).

> _1 new message from unknown number._

Changbin thinks about whether he’s going to open the message or not for a moment. It’s a very long moment, because his brain’s still in exam mode. _What if it’s one of those viruses where if you open the message it gets all your bank details and shit? Or what if it’s from some weirdo stalker, because who else would be texting me who isn’t saved on my phone? _

_What if it’s a demon or something, and if I click it, it’ll take my soul away?_

_Damn, bitch, go ahead, _Changbin thinks, opening the message. _Nothing can be worse that last exam._

> _Unknown: _r we still on 4 next week??

Changbin stops in the middle of the hallway, frowning at the text. The other people rushing through the hallway are forced to pass around him, like a stream grumbling around a stone.

_Who the fuck?_

> _Unknown: _well itz 2 late i already bought tiiiiiix 4 d traaain

_Oh. _

Changbin sends a quick message.

> _Seo Changbin: _K

He adds the number to his contacts, but they reply just as soon as he saves it.

> _Han Jisung: _THE FUCK MAN I HAVENT SEEN YOU IN AGES AND ALL YOU SAY IS K???
> 
> _Han Jisung: _WHO ARE YOU, MY DAD??
> 
> _Han Jisung: _haha kidding luv u binbin
> 
> _Seo Changbin: _Fucks sake dude no one’s called me that since the first grade
> 
> _Han Jisung: _see ya soon binbin ♥

Changbin rolls his eyes as he pockets his phone, taking a deep breath before heading to the next exam to fail.

“Are you _sure_ you don’t wanna go out tonight?” Jisoo asks, hovering around Felix while he lugs his practice bag out of his locker. “Oh come _on_, not going out on your birthday is one thing, but _practicing_?”

Felix grins at her. “I love dancing. Or at least that’s what I told Madame Kim.”

Then he breaks out laughing, falling out of his squat and flat onto his ass.

“God, don’t injure yourself,” Jisoo grumbles, helping Felix up. “You remember when you were doing your audition and I had to take you to the goddamn hospital and we had to get X-rays and shit and… what’s the name of your cute friend?”

Felix frowns. “Chaeryeong?”

“No.”

“_Yeji_?”

“Ryujin!” Jisoo snaps her fingers. “The nurse put you in a wheelchair and Ryujin nearly pushed you into rush hour traffic, remember that?”

“Yes, Jisoo, I was there.” Felix says, shaking his head at the idea that Jisoo would find Ryujin cute, of all people. “And it wasn’t that long ago.”

“Uh, yeah it was.” Jisoo laughs. “You and I looked like rats back then. Look at us now.”

“We’re still kinda-”

“Shut up and ride with it, Felix, we’re _hot_ now.” Jisoo says through clenched teeth. Then she smiles. “You sure you don’t wanna go out? You’re hot enough _and_ legal enough to pick someone up now.”

Felix snorts. “No thanks, Jisoo.”

“Fine.” Jisoo seems to admit defeat, which worries Felix just a little bit. “Anyway, I’d be really pissed if you stopped being single before me.”

Felix shrugs.

It’s dark out when Changbin comes out of his last exam. Changbin feels like it’s been days, when he knows it’s only been four hours. _Which is basically days, for an exam. _

He heads out to the engineering building’s parking lot, which is pretty much deserted, aside from the handful of cars and bikes belonging to Changbin’s classmates.

Changbin walks up to the bike rack just as one of his classmates unclips the lock on the last bike in the rack. _Wait._

Changbin’s classmate waves at him, so he waves back at her, even though he’s starting to break out in a cold sweat. He stands there, staring at the empty bike rack like he’s hoping for his bike to materialize.

_Shit. If my bike got stolen-_

“You parked your scooter over there, dude,” Changbin’s classmate from earlier says, pointing at the rack for motorcycles and scooters, on the far end of the parking lot.

“Oh. Right.” Changbin laughs at himself. “Thanks.”

“It’s bright as _hell_. Couldn’t miss it.”

Changbin’s shoulders sag almost to the asphalt with relief as he starts his scooter up. _How could I have forgotten that I’ve got a scooter now?_

_That exam really fried my brain._

_Like chicken. _

_I’m hungry._

Changbin clips his helmet on – the same blue as the scooter, of course. Uncle Minki had a slight obsession with matching things. _Not that it’s my place to psychoanalyze a therapist._

_Maybe I’ve been spending too much time with him, _Changbin thinks, just as he spots a fried chicken takeout restaurant.

_I can’t wait to see the other guys again._

Felix frowns at his reflection in the mirror. He’d already _felt_ that he was off rhythm, but seeing it in the mirror just pisses him off more.

He groans and walks over to his phone to stop the music. The clock on his phone tells him it’s half past seven in the evening, two minutes ahead of the wall clock.

Felix unlocks the phone and checks his messages. There hadn’t been any notification, but his heart still sinks when he doesn’t see anything new.

Felix sits down, leaning his back against the mirror as he scrolls mindlessly through his music library. _It sucks. It’s all songs for school. _

_Who told you to become a dance major, dumbass?_

Felix sighs and leans flat against the cool mirror, closing his eyes.

“You wanted this, Felix,” He says out loud. Not that it matters. He has Madame Kim’s private dance studio to himself for the entire evening, one of the few perks of being Her Dear Boy. “You’re the one who just _loves_ dancing.”

Felix wonders what would’ve happened if he had stayed in W______ High. He’s been doing that more often these days. He’s starting to feel weird about his new school, his new city, his new friends – even after two years he still thinks of them as _new_.

_There’s got to be something wrong there. _Felix’s phone buzzes with a new message from Jisoo, as if on cue. _It’s not their fault. It’s me. I always want something else._

_I want to play baseball again._

_What the fuck, Felix?_

_You never liked baseball._

Felix swipes the notification away without checking the message. Jisoo thought he was busy anyway, because that’s what he told her earlier. _Does overthinking your life choices count as being busy?_

Felix sighs again, sliding down to lay on the floor.

He’s about to close his eyes to trick himself into taking an ill-advised nap when something knocks against the window. Felix ignores it. Madame Kim’s private studio is on the first floor of a low, two-storey building sandwiched between two houses. _People are always mistaking it for another house. _

Whoever it is, they knock against the window again, harder this time.

Felix sits up. _Maybe they’re trying to break in. Fuck. _

He looks around the studio. Like any self-respecting ballet studio, there’s almost nothing in it, much less something Felix could use to fend off a robber. _Not that there’s anything for them to steal._

“Felix?”

Felix lifts both eyebrows, walking slowly to the window. The glass is frosted, so all he sees is a silhouette blocking out some of the light from the streetlamp outside.

He undoes the latch and swings the window open. “I thought you had an exam until nine.”

“I gave up,” Changbin grins, holding up a plastic bag. “I brought dinner.”

Felix crosses his arms at the overwhelming fried chicken smell wafting into the studio. “You know Madame Kim’s got me on a diet, right? No fast food.”

“I hate that woman. Here, hold this,” Changbin says, handing the bag of fried chicken to Felix so he can climb in through the window.

Felix tucks the chicken under one arm, extending a hand to help Changbin into the studio. “You could come in through the door like a normal person.”

“But I’d have to walk around. It’s far.” Changbin pouts at him, brushing his hands off on his jeans before locking the window shut again. “I parked my- Oh! I have something to show you!”

Felix nearly drops the chicken on the floor in surprise. Madam Kim _and_ Changbin would’ve hated him if he did.

“Jesus, Changbin, can you just like, _not_ try to give me a heart attack?”

“Sorry,” Changbin smiles, and Felix just doesn’t have it in him to keep scowling when he does. “Can you come out for a minute?”

Felix sighs. “Changbin, if this is some convoluted birthday surprise, I don’t want-”

“No, no, it’s nothing like that,” Changbin laughs, taking Felix by the hand to draw him close. Then he pecks Felix quickly on the cheek. “Oh, uh, happy birthday!”

Felix catches Changbin by the shirt, scrunching up a handful of Changbin’s unfortunate T-shirt in one first. “Hold on.”

“Uh-huh?”

“Did you forget my fucking birthday, Seo Changbin?”

Changbin’s entire face reddens. “Uh…”

“I thought you didn’t text me because you were planning some crazy-ass surprise,” Felix says, lowering his face to glare at his boyfriend. “But you just fucking _forgot_?”

Changbin lets out a slightly shaky laugh, resting his hands gingerly on Felix’s ass. “Okay, hey, calm down, Bad Felix. I’m sorry, but I had three exams-”

“Fuck the exams, they’re just exams.” Felix narrows his eyes. “I’m Felix.”

“Good point.” Changbin chuckles, pulling Felix in closer for a kiss. Felix pushes him back against the mirror, using his hands to cushion Changbin’s back so it doesn’t hit the barre too hard.

Felix doesn’t bother to draw a breath before closing his mouth around Changbin’s. It feels so good that he almost forgets he needs to breathe at all. _If I die making out with Changbin, then I die making out with Changbin._

Changbin pulls out of the kiss, leaning against the mirror with a deep smirk. “I take it I’m not forgiven yet?”

“No, it’s going to take a lot more than that to buy my forgiveness.” Felix says, smiling at how easily his hands slide into Changbin’s back pockets. “What did you want to show me?”

“Oh, it’s just-”

“I hope it’s dick-related.” Felix mutters, glancing at the nearly nonexistent space between them.

“Felix!” Changbin says, scooting an entire meter away from Felix. His entire face has gone cherry red. “You know we can’t- Oh.” Changbin’s mouth puckers into a tiny o when he realizes.

“I’m just messing with you,” Felix laughs, kissing Changbin’s little mouth. “But I wouldn’t say no if you _do_ have a dick-related surprise for me. Just saying.”

Felix makes an appreciative noise as he looks over the scooter parked by the back of the dance studio. “I love it. Very _Roman Holiday_. Pops is going to lose his shit when he sees it.”

“Yeah. But _my _Dad’s gonna freak out for other reasons.” Changbin says, not passing up the opportunity to lean his head on Felix’s shoulder in the cool night air. “Sometimes I think Uncle Minki just pulls stuff like this to drive him up the wall.”

“Oh, definitely. Letting you stay at his place is part of your uncle’s revenge plot.” Felix reaches up to stroke Changbin’s hair. “I’m guessing you’re offering to give me a ride home later, then?”

“Of course,” Changbin tilts his head to look up at Felix. His eyes sparkle, they honest-to-goodness _sparkle_ in the dim streetlight.

Felix wonders if he could fall in love with Changbin again. _Because I would._

“We should probably, uh, start.” Changbin says, looking away from Felix’s eyes self-consciously. “So the chicken doesn’t get too cold.”

“_I’m_ cold.” Felix hums innocently. He grins when Changbin wraps his arms around Felix so quickly it could only have been on reflex.

“I can think of a way to warm you up.”

_A week later_

“No thanks,” Felix says, hobbling backwards in a full squat to shut his locker.

Jisoo lets out a dramatic sigh, the kind that reminds Felix why she never bothered to take acting classes. _Or maybe it’s _because_ she’s never taken acting classes. _

“But you _never_ go out with us anymore!”

“I’m busy.” Felix makes a face. “Sorry.”

“We’re all busy!” Jisoo frowns, folding her arms. “You know what, I’m going to come clean.”

“Hm?” Felix slings his backpack over one shoulder.

“I’ve been seeing someone. For a couple weeks now.” Jisoo says.

Felix snorts. “I know.”

“What? Who told you? I’m gonna kill-”

“No one, did you’re just obvious about it.” Felix says, starting down the hallway with Jisoo trailing after him with a deep frown. “Smiling at your phone when you’re supposedly texting your “mom”? _Rookie mistake_.”

“Oh, shut up,” Jisoo grumbles, but she holds the front door of the school open for them both. “Can’t you just be happy for me?”

“I am, Jisoo, don’t get me wrong.” Felix checks his phone. There’s just one message from fifteen minutes earlier, and Felix makes a concentrated effort not to smile when he reads it.

“I’m telling you, if you just went out more, maybe you would meet someone-”

“Sorry, Jisoo, but my ride’s here.” Felix says, just as a bright blue scooter rolls to a stop outside the school gates.

Felix doesn’t bother stifling his smile when the scooter’s rider takes his helmet off, running a hand through his hair to set it straight. _Changbin didn’t _have_ to show up looking like a fucking god in a leather jacket just to pick me up from school._

“I don’t see your dad’s car,” Jisoo says, perhaps the only person who isn’t staring at Changbin right now.

“See you on Monday!” Felix waves at her, adjusting his backpack on his shoulders. He steps out of the gate just as Changbin’s started checking his phone.

Felix pecks him on the cheek. “I didn’t need you to make anyone jealous, Bin, but thanks.”

“Huh?” Changbin asks, tucking his phone away in an inside pocket of his jacket. _God bless that jacket, _Felix says, looking over it lovingly.

“Don’t play dumb, why are you so hot today?” Felix asks, pulling the spare helmet out of the scooter’s storage. “What’s the occasion?”

“Oh, it’s just-”

“LEE FELIX!” Jisoo screeches, face pressed between the bars of the school’s fence. “LEE FELIX, EXPLAIN YOURSELF!”

“Oh, Jisoo, this is my boyfriend, Changbin,” Felix says, gesturing between them. “Bin, this is _the_ Choi Jisoo.”

“Nice to _finally_ meet you,” Changbin says, casting a sidelong glance at Felix as he extends a hand to Jisoo.

Jisoo doesn’t take it. She reaches through the bars and grabs Felix by the sweater. “How dare you! Why didn’t you tell me!”

“Because!” Felix whines. “Let me go, Jisoo!”

“I’ll let you go when I’m dead, you lying, two-faced little-”

“Sorry, Jisoo, but we’ve got someone to meet in a little while,” Changbin says. “So if you would please let my stupid boyfriend go.”

“Yes, sir. Sorry.” Jisoo draws her hand back to her sides before dipping into a polite bow. “Sir.”

“Uh, just Changbin is fine.” Changbin says, shuffling uneasily like he wants her to un-bow but doesn’t know how to do it. “Please.”

“Come on, just let her be, she’s in shock,” Felix says, leading Changbin back to the scooter by the waist. “See you on Monday, Jisoo!”

“S- See you, traitor!”

Changbin takes Felix’s helmet from him and locks it away in the scooter’s storage. “Tell me again, _why_ didn’t you tell your friends about me?”

“Uh,” Felix rolls his eyes. “How was I supposed to tell them I’m dating a college guy who looks like _sex personified_?”

Changbin snorts. He knows it’s just Felix being silly, but he’s going to hold onto that one for a rainy day.

_Or whenever they return my exams from last week._

“Where did Jisung say he was waiting?”

“Oh, it’s Jisung and Chan,” Changbin says.

“Ah. The musketeers.”

Changbin laughs, twining his fingers with Felix’s. Some people in the train station give them weird looks, but Changbin couldn’t care less, because he’ll never see them again anyway.

“They said they were waiting by-”

“SEOOOOOOOOO CHAAAAAAAAAAAAANGBIIIIIIN!” Jisung’s voice echoes in the entire train station, probably all the way through the tunnels and out to the rest of the city.

Changbin stops in his tracks. Jisung is bounding across the tiled floor towards him, followed closely by Chan, but that’s not a problem. The problem is that he had told his uncle that two friends were staying over for the weekend, which appears to have been a lie, because half of his entire hometown’s population is currently making their way over to where Changbin and Felix are standing.

“Hi, guys.” Younghoon says, catching up to the other two. He grins at Felix. “Long time no see.”

“Changbin! Felix! Oh my gosh!” Hyunjin cries, flinging his arms out to wrap them in a hug.

“Hi!” Seungmin waves, peeking out from behind Hyunjin.

Hyunjoon’s eyes bug out when he sees Changbin. “Holy shit, Changbin, if you weren’t taken, I would’ve-”

“Keep it in your pants, gosh.” Dongpyo says, making a face at him. He hugs Felix. “Nice to see you, dude!”

“Nice to see you… Dongpyo.” Felix says vaguely, hugging him back but turning with a concerned look in Changbin’s direction.

Changbin’s too busy doing a mental headcount. _Six… seven… eight… fuck._

“FELIX!” Ryujin yells, tackling Felix in a hug.

“Oh my god, let him breathe!” Yeji laughs.

“Felix oh my god I’ve missed you so much!” Chaeryeong says, squeezing Felix so tightly his face turns a little red.

“Hey guys!” Youngjae grins.

“Long time no see!” Sunwoo beams.

“It was really nice of you to invite us over, Changbin.” Juyeon says.

“Yeah, thanks for having us over, dude.” Sangyeon smiles.

“Ha ha. Yeah.” Changbin’s starting to sweat. _What am I going to tell Uncle Minki? WHERE ARE WE GOING TO PUT ALL OF THEM???_


	68. Brotherhood Without the Blood pt. 2

Minki sips his coffee. The new roast he’d ordered isn’t that good, but it’ll pass. He’s been letting a lot of things pass lately, he thinks, looking at the papers his nephew had left strewn over the living room table.

Minki sets his drink down, getting out of his armchair to collect the papers. He vaguely recognizes something akin to Physics scrawled all over them, but he doesn’t bother trying to understand them further as he stacks the papers in one corner of the table. The way Minki sees it, he’s _done_ his time with Physics, and couldn’t be fucked to interact with it again. There’s too much mess there.

He settles back into his armchair to look out the wall of glass and appreciate the deep orange glow of the sunset behind the hazy city skyline.

A series of faint beeps echo from the general direction of the front door. Minki takes another sip of coffee, waiting for his nephew to stomp into the living room to say hello – not that he’s expecting Changbin to be angry, it’s just that the boy has naturally heavy footsteps.

Minki hears voices waft down the hallway. He sits up in his chair in alarm for a second, then he remembers that Changbin had told him that his friends Chan and Jisung were staying over for the weekend.

Only there are _too many_ voices. Minki puts his mug down on a coaster and stands up.

“Changbin-” He starts, but the second he turns the corner, he comes face to face with his worst nightmare.

_Children. A whole shit-ton of children._

Changbin turns to him guiltily, eyes wide. “U- Uncle Minki, I can explain-”

“Chan and Jisung are little more… many… than I expected.” Minki says, beginning to sweat as he counts the excited, scruffy-haired heads bobbing about in his hallway like hungry ducks. _One… five… ten… shit._

“Hi, Mr. Changbin’s Uncle, sir, I’m Bang Chan, nice to meet you,” One of the most scruffy-haired ones says, extending a hand.

“Nice to meet you.” Minki mumbles back, shaking the hand only as a reflex. He’s still counting them, but they’re all still moving.

“Thanks for letting us stay over, Mr. Changbin’s Uncle, sir!” One of the smaller, less scruffy-headed ones says, in a voice like he’d swallowed a megaphone.

“Really nice house you have here, Mr. Changbin’s Uncle!” Another beams, with too much unbridled joy and enthusiasm for Minki to deal with on a Friday evening.

“S- Sure, uh… Make yourselves comfortable. Within reason.” Minki turns to his nephew, who won’t meet his eyes. “Can I talk to you for a minute, my dear nephew?”

Changbin grimaces.

“I thought you said _two_ of your friends were staying over, not _THE WHOLE FUCKING TOWN_!”

“I thought so, too!” Changbin sighs as he sits on his uncle’s plush ottoman. “I didn’t think they’d invite the others- Okay, no, I should’ve known.”

“How are we going to feed them, Changbin? And where are they going to _sleep_?” Changbin’s uncle looks close to tearing his perfectly waved hair out. “And what about the girls! You never said anything about _GIRLS!_”

“Well, uh,” Changbin makes a face. “The girls could stay in my room and the guys and I could uh… no.”

“Look, Changbin, don’t get me wrong, I am very glad you have friends,” Changbin’s uncle sighs, leaning dramatically against the far wall. “But must they come _all at fucking once_?”

“Uh, yeah, they’re like that.” Changbin smiles, despite everything. “We’re kind of a package deal. A bit clingy.”

Changbin’s uncle lets out a long sigh just as a few small knocks sound through his bedroom door. He’s just about to ask who it is when Felix’s voice comes through, “Uncle Minki, could I come in?”

“Oh, sure, Felix.”

Felix steps gingerly into the room, bringing the noise from outside with him when he opens the door. He closes it quickly behind him, giving Changbin’s uncle a sympathetic smile. “I called up my pops. The girls can stay at my place. Since it’s my fault, anyway.”

Changbin frowns. “How is it your fault?”

“I mean, because they’re here for _my_ birthday thing…” Felix trails off.

“If you invited them, they should be staying in _your_ apartment.” Changbin’s uncle says flatly.

“Uncle Minki.” Changbin turns his frown to his uncle.

“What? We don’t have the space, at least Felix’s dads are used to entertaining people-”

“Okay, I didn’t invite them, they kind of invited themselves-”

“We don’t have to entertain them, Uncle, we just have to find enough space on the floor to lay blankets out-”

“Yeah, they’re used to worse sleeping conditions-”

“I don’t care what they’re used to, I’m not having guests sleep like animals in my house-”

“Back in one of our training camps-”

The three of them are interrupted by a sharp knock on the door.

Changbin and Felix exchange glances to ask each other, _Whom?_

There are muffled voices and the loud thud of a human body hitting the floor.

Changbin sighs and walks past his stunned uncle to open the door. He finds all of his former teammates piled on the ground, looking at him guiltily.

“Sorry for listening in.” Chan says, lowering his head as an embarrassed blush spreads to his ears.

“We were worried your uncle would be mad at you.” Hyunjin mumbles.

“Heya, Mr. Changbin’s Uncle, go easy on him,” Jisung says. “It was Hyunjoon’s fault!”

“Fuck you, Han Jisung!” Hyunjoon yells from the bottom of the dogpile.

“It was Jisung’s fault, sir, he told the entire gc that Changbin was inviting us!” Youngjae sputters out.

“Traitor!” Jisung squawks, trying to take a swipe at Youngjae, but Sunwoo and Hyunjin are trapped between them, like a whiny wall of protection.

Changbin turns back to his uncle. Felix makes gesture of slicing his head off at the neck, to say, _Don’t._

Changbin’s uncle lets out a long, long sigh. It seems to last an hour, a whole hour of the Weevils, both current and former, watching Changbin’s uncle’s soul leave his mortal body.

“Don’t worry about it, boys. Any friend of Changbin’s is welcome here,” Changbin’s uncle says, giving the pile of terrified young men an easy smile. “Do you guys want pizza?”

The hallway erupts in barks and howls.

Changbin’s uncle lifts his hands to cover his ears, his smile faltering ever so slightly. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

_The next morning_

Changbin wakes up feeling like his back had been disassembled and reassembled again by a toddler. His spine lets out a loud pop as he sits up. The other guys are piled around him, snoring peacefully on the blankets and towels spread across the living room floor. His uncle’s Scandinavian armchair, lounge chair, and coffee table are all pushed up against the wall, looking down on the sleeping guys with the same polite discomfort as their owner.

_Sorry, _Changbin thinks, unable to stop himself from breaking out into a grin at the sight of his teammates. He takes stock of them one by one as he steps gently around them to get to the kitchen. Dongpyo, much taller than he remembers him to be, is curled up by the wall, back-to-back with Sunwoo, whose mouth is hanging open as he snores gently. Changbin can hardly hear Sunwoo’s snoring, because Chan, who’s flat on his back like space isn’t an issue, is snoring next to him like he’s trying to take the whole building down. Younghoon, also even taller than Changbin remembers, has managed to fold himself up to tuck his face into the crook of Chan’s shoulder. On Younghoon’s other side is Juyeon, who keeps twitching his nose, because Youngjae’s left foot is just close enough to tickle it. Youngjae’s other foot is thrown carelessly over Hyunjoon, who’s lying face-down on the blanket. Half of that same blanket is currently wrapped around Jisung, who’s got nothing but his head peeking out above the edge of the blanket. Resting his head on Jisung’s stomach like a pillow is Hyunjin, who’s got an arm thrown over Seungmin, who’s turned away from Hyunjin to face the wall. Chan lets out an especially loud snore, setting off a series of disgruntled noises and belly-scratching from the other guys like dominoes.

Changbin’s heart seems to recline comfortably in his chest like it hasn’t caught a break till now. 

“Erm.” Changbin’s uncle stops at the edge of the hallway, looking over the puzzle of sleeping boys on the floor like it’s a Twister mat.

“Morning, Uncle Minki.” Changbin says.

“Uh, what time are we leaving?” Changbin’s uncle asks, creeping along the wall in his bedroom slippers. He stumbles on a phone charger plugged into the wall, landing with one foot flat on Youngjae’s hand, but the latter doesn’t even twitch. “And I suppose we’re all taking the train?”

“Yeah. And uh, Felix wants to be there early, so maybe at nine?”

“It’s 8:20.” Changbin’s uncle says flatly.

“Oh.” Changbin looks over the counter at his friends. “I guess we should wake them up, then.”

Changbin’s uncle lifts his eyebrows. “You’d better get started soon, if they’re as hard to wake up as you are.”

Changbin takes a breath.

“Shawty had them apple bottom jeans,” He calls out thoughtfully.

“Jeans,” Chan mumbles in reply, as if on instinct.

“Boots with the fur.” Changbin continues.

“With the fur!” Jisung’s grinning now, though his eyes are still shut.

“Got the whole club lookin at her.” Hyunjoon mutters, like he’s being forced to join a church service.

“She hit the floor!” Changbin laughs.

“She hit the floor!” The rest of them echo, in various states of consciousness.

“Next thing you know!”

Changbin watches his uncle’s good-natured smile stretch thin as he lifts his hands to cover his ears, just as the other guys yell,

“SHAWTY GOT LOW! LOW! LOW! LOW!”

Felix stands up when he hears the other guys coming. He hears them first, of course, before he sees them come in through the gates of the amusement park, trailing after Changbin and Changbin’s uncle like ducklings that quack like foghorns.

Changbin breaks into a smile when he sees him.

Felix’s heart melts. He’s never going to get tired of Changbin’s smile.

Felix tilts his head when Changbin gets closer, tapping his cheek.

“Hi there, handsome,” Changbin kisses him on the cheek, which makes the girls squeak and squawk next to Felix. Even Felix’s pops smiles and looks away in embarrassment.

“Did you bring your stuff?” Felix frowns, turning Changbin by the belt loops. Changbin doesn’t have anything on him, not even a backpack. “I swear if you leave me to do this by myself-”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you,” Changbin says, prying Felix’s hand free from his belt loop so he can hold it in his own. “We bumped into your dad in the parking lot, so I left them in his car.”

Felix’s shoulders sag with relief. “Good, cause I was _this_ close to breaking up with you.”

“You couldn’t.”

“No, you’re right,” Felix grins. “I couldn’t.”

“Listen, this is cute and all, glad you guys are still in love and whatever,” Jisung says, throwing his arms around both of their shoulders. “But there’s a Viking ship ride over there with no line and there are like, twenty of us.”

Changbin makes a face at him. “Aren’t you afraid of heights?”

“Oh yeah, definitely, I’m probably going to pee myself,” Jisung’s face blanches as he sees the Viking ship ride begin to swing on its pendulum. “But like, it’s fun to be scared shitless with friends, right?”

“Maybe you should use the toilet _before_ we get on the ride, then.” Felix says, gently tucking Changbin’s hand into his back pocket as they head towards the Viking ship ride.

“You want me to hold that for you?” Felix’s Papa offers, extending a hand to take Seungmin’s camera.

Seungmin slips out of the neck strap, but he hesitates before handing it over. “Could you, um, would it be too much trouble to ask you to take a photo? Of us?”

“Oh, of course not.” Felix’s papa says, putting the neck strap on, though it’s much shorter on him than it is on Seungmin. “Leave it up to me.”

“Thanks.” Seungmin smiles sheepishly, before climbing up the walkway to board the ship ride.

“No, absolutely not, I do _not_ want to vomit on this day.” Seungmin hears a familiar voice behind him.

“Do you think _I _want to??” A second, equally familiar voice squeaks.

Seungmin turns around to find a disgruntled Lee Minho stomping up the walkway, followed by a pouting Yang Jeongin hot on his heels.

“Hey…” Seungmin frowns at them.

“Felix invited me.” Jeongin says quickly. He side-eyes Minho. “Don’t know about him.”

“Changbin said I could come,” Minho says defensively. “Since everyone else is here already.”

“Is this a goddamn reunion?”

The three of them turn to find Younghoon leaning on the fence of the Viking ride, wearing a bemused smile.

“Hyung? What are you-” Jeongin starts, stopping just as realization washes over his face.

“Oh. _Chan_.” Jeongin and Minho mutter at once.

“Any more guys and we could play a match against the Weevils.” Seungmin rolls his eyes.

“We’d probably beat them even without any other guys.” Younghoon shrugs.

“Yeah, definitely.” Jeongin agrees.

“With our hands tied, even.” Minho snorts.

“Hey! Losers! Get on!” Someone yells from the Viking ship. Seungmin supposes it’s either Hyunjoon, Jisung, or the both of them in a rare moment of teamwork.

Chan stands up and cups his hands around his mouth to shout, “S------ HIGH COWAAAAAARDS!”

Younghoon’s mouth drops open, clearly affronted. The Weevils start hooting and howling with laughter, rocking the ride ever so slightly.

“WELL YOU’RE A BUNCH OF CUNTS!” Minho yells back, sending all the W----- High girls laughing.

“Come on.” Younghoon says, turning to the other three with his eyes burning like hot coals. “We’re sitting at the back.”

“W- What?” Jeongin asks, all color draining from his face.

Seungmin only smiles as their former captain grabs him and Jeongin by the sleeves, dragging them to the side of the ship opposite Chan.

“Cowards, I ask you,” Younghoon mutters, pulling the safety bars down over the four of them.

“Bets, bets,” Hyunjoon says, holding his hands out to the others. “My money is that Han Jisung’s going to wet himself the second it starts.”

“You had _better_ not.” Felix grumbles, from where he’s seated next to Jisung at the center of the ship.

Jisung swallows thickly, but makes no promises.

“I’ll give him five seconds,” Changbin laughs, leaning forward to pat Jisung on the head. He caresses Felix’s ear before leaning back in his seat.

“Five’s too much, I’ll give him three.” Hyunjin says with a careless toss of his shoulder-length hair. But his other hand is gripping the safety bar so tightly his knuckles have gone white.

“Okay, any other bets?”

“Two seconds!”

“Four!”

“FUCK YOU GUYS!” Jisung manages to screech out, cowering as a loud noise lets them know the ride’s starting up. “Oh god oh god oh god…”

“EAT SHIT, W------ HIGH!” Minho yells from the far end of the ship.

“YOU EAT SHIT, S------ HIGH!” Changbin yells back.

“YOU’RE GOING DOWN, BEARS!” Jisung yells, somehow, eyes scrunched shut.

“Uh, yeah bro, _we’re_ going up.” Felix says.

“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!” Jisung screams as the ride swings them up.

“Wait, so what’s the occasion? Your text was vague as hell, dude.” Minho slings an arm around Changbin’s shoulders as they make their way to the theme park’s shaded amphitheater, the crowd of excited teens and post-teens looking like an elementary school field trip.

Changbin laughs. “Sorry, I just figured you didn’t wanna be left out, since-”

“It’s Felix’s birthday,” Jisung says, with a pointed look at Felix, who’s currently throwing daggers at Minho with his eyes.

Minho slides his arm off Changbin’s shoulders as casually as he can. _Nope. Not scared of a kid. Couldn’t be me. _“Happy birthday, Felix!” He calls out.

“Aw, thanks, dude!” Felix’s mouth smiles, but his eyes keep warning Minho: _Don’t try me._

“His birthday was yesterday, actually.” Changbin says.

“But he’s joining a dance contest today, right, lil guy?” Chan asks, tearing off a piece of his cotton candy to pop it into Younghoon’s waiting mouth.

“Bold of you to call him that, _little_ guy,” Younghoon snickers down at Chan, who blushes.

“Yeah.” Felix nods. He seems about to say something else before he gets cut off by a beep from his phone. He checks the notification, lagging behind the others by a few steps. “Speaking of which, we’ve got to get changed.”

“_We_?” Minho frowns.

“Hold up,” Jisung says, getting into what he must think is a defensive martial arts stance. “What do you mean, _we_?”

Felix grins at him. “Don’t worry, dude, it’s just me and Changbin. Come on, Bin.”

Changbin nods, turning to give the other guys a quick salute. “See you guys later.”

“Wait, what?” Chan frowns, his hand frozen on the way to give Younghoon another bite of cotton candy.

“_Changbin_?” Jisung’s eyes bug nearly out of his head. “Since when did _you_ dance, Seo Changbin?”

Changbin just shrugs, because Felix is pulling him by the shirt.

Chan stays frozen in place for so long that Younghoon grumbles and bends down to bite the cotton candy out from between his fingers. Chan still doesn’t blink.

“Changbin’s going to _what_?”


	69. You Make Me Feel Like Dancing

“And don’t forget the part after the ‘_Dance with me_’, but I don’t think you will anyway,” Felix says, straightening Changbin’s collar. There’s nothing to fix, really. He’d told Changbin’s uncle that Changbin needed a suit for their performance, and Changbin’s uncle had _delivered._ It’s taking every inch of self-control on Felix’s part not to drool at his boyfriend right now.

“Do I look all right?” Changbin asks. His mouth is pulled into the tiny, wobbly line of a child backstage before their first recital. Felix figures he must’ve looked like that a long time ago, too. _It’s cuter on Changbin, though. Definitely. _

“Yes, Changbin, you look perfect.”

“Then why have you been choking me for the past ten minutes?” Changbin chuckles nervously, gently nudging Felix’s hands off his collar.

“Sorry.” Felix flattens his hands against his sides.

“Are you nervous, Felix?”

“Of course not.” Felix scoffs, but it doesn’t sound convincing even to him.

“The other guys won’t judge us, you know that.” Changbin says. “Well, _me_, maybe, but you’re the best dancer in the world-”

“Please don’t say things like that.”

“Sorry.” Changbin blushes. “Felix, I just wanted to say-”

“UUUUP NEXT!” The contest emcee’s voice booms over the amphitheater’s sound system. “Two _handsome_ high schoolers Lee Felix and Seo Changbin will be giving us a _blast from the past_ with a 1950’s Old Hollywood dance routine!”

Changbin and Felix glare at the emcee from the wings.

“Do I like a fucking high schooler?” Changbin mutters.

“The song’s from 19-fucking-35.” Felix mutters.

“At least she called us handsome,” Changbin says, nudging Felix.

Felix mirrors his boyfriend’s shit-eating grin. “Well, she’s not wrong.”

Felix uses one foot to nudge the last tap dance board into position before straightening up. He looks over at Changbin, who nods solemnly, like he’s about to help Felix commit murder. Felix stifles a laugh as he raises an OK symbol in the general direction of the tech booth, where his dad’s probably pestering the sound technician to no end.

Felix straightens his back, feeling the way his flowing white shirt drapes off his shoulders. He takes a deep breath, shutting his eyes as he channels his inner Ginger Rogers, from wherever she might’ve been hiding these past couple of years.

The music starts playing over the speakers, the hum of the band rising just as Fred Astaire’s voice comes in gently, as if through a back door.

Changbin extends a hand to Felix.

Felix takes it, gripping Changbin’s fingers as he spins to face Changbin.

The first few steps sound too loud, their shoes tapping on the wooden boards below sounding like gunshots in Felix’s ears. Changbin’s feet sound too heavy, and Felix wonders if he’s lagging behind or if the sound is just echoing since they’re basically outdoors. Changbin seems to realize he’s messing up quite a lot, because he’s got this frustrated look on.

Every time they practiced the routine, late into the night in Madame Kim’s studio outside school, Changbin had that same, funny-looking frown on.

_“You can’t do that during the actual thing,” Felix had laughed._

_“I can’t help it, I’m really-” Changbin had sighed. “I’m using _all_ my brain cells for this, you know? I have never felt stupider.”_

_“You’re doing really well.”_

_“You don’t need to lie to me, Lix.”_

_“I’m not lying to you. You’re not the best dancer in the world-”_

_“No, that’s you.” Changbin had said, with a smile that made Felix entire face heat up. _

_Felix had wet his lips self-consciously. “Anyway, as I was saying, you’re doing really well for someone who’s never taken lessons before. You’re actually a pretty good dancer, Changbin.”_

_“I have the best teacher.”_

_“Stop it.”_

Felix’s hand misses Changbin’s at one point, but he brushes it off with an extra sweep and a charming smile at the audience. It’s mostly families with young children, all smiling back at him, none the wiser.

_What are you worrying about, Felix? _

_This isn’t a test or an audition or anything like that._

Felix twirls on one foot, landing with a gentle tap leading into a solo. Changbin’s just supposed to be standing at the side, snapping to the beat, but he’s watching Felix with so much adoration that Felix misses a beat.

_“Besides, this is just some dumb contest in a fucking amusement park, Changbin, no one’s expecting professional shit.” Felix had said one evening, as they lay on the floor of the dance studio catching their breath._

_“I still want it to be good. Don’t you?”_

_“Of course I do. But it doesn’t have to be _perfect._”_

_“Never thought I’d hear _you_ say that.”_

_“Not everything has to be perfect, Changbin, you know that of all people.”_

_“Don’t I know it.”_

_“Shit. I didn’t mean it like-” Felix reached over to rest a hand on Changbin’s. “I’m sorry about your exam.”_

_Changbin let out a dry laugh. “Which one?”_

Felix ends his solo taking Changbin’s hand again, feeling tingles run up his spine when Changbin rests one hand on the small of Felix’s back, drawing him closer.

Their faces are just a breath apart as they sweep over the tap dance board. Felix can feel the heat rising off Changbin’s face, but even though he’s this close, it doesn’t seem like Changbin’s frowning anymore. Neither of them seems to be thinking anymore, like they had been while practicing. They’re just dancing, their footsteps falling on the dance board below as easily as rain.

Felix’s mouth has gone dry, but he manages to whisper along to the music, “_Heaven, I’m in heaven.”_

He sees the corner of Changbin’s mouth lift with a smile.

“_And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak,_” Felix sings, hoarse and soft, while his heart hammers away in his chest.

“_And I seem to find the happiness I seek_,” Felix breathes, closing his eyes as Changbin pulls him into a turn. “_When we’re out together dancing cheek to cheek_.”

Felix almost laughs at himself. He’s not built for singing _and _dancing, and it’s taking away whatever breath he has left. _What the hell are you doing, Felix?_

“_Heaven, I’m in heaven_,” Changbin hums suddenly, surprising Felix. “_And the cares that hang around me through the week_,”

Felix’s grip tightens on Changbin’s hand.

“_Seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak,”_ Changbin sings, his voice soft and low but just as sure as his hand holding firmly onto Felix’s waist as they pull into another tight turn. “_When we're out together dancing, cheek to cheek_.”

Felix rests his cheek against Changbin’s, swaying lazily through the last few steps as the music begins to die out.

There’s a moment of silence just after the recording fades away, when Felix’s eyes catch on Changbin’s, drawn like magnets. In that moment, they forget that they’re on a stage in front a little over a hundred people, or that they’re in the middle of an amusement park, and they just smile at each other.

Then their friends begin barking and howling like the rabid animals they are.

“Dude, what the _HELL_!” Chan yells, grabbing Changbin by the shoulders when he and Felix come back out to meet the others. “IT’S LIKE I DON’T KNOW YOU ANYMORE!”

“YOU NEVER TOLD US YOU COULD DO _THAT_!” Jisung catches one of Changbin’s arms in a viselike grip.

“Well, I didn’t know I could do that, either,” Changbin admits, his face only reddening now that the other guys are shaking him.

“FELIX!” Yeji yells, tackling Felix in a hug. “You were _so_ good!”

“And you’re so pretty!” Chaeryeong says, reaching out to flap the loose sleeves of Felix’s blouse.

“If you were a girl-”

“Shut up, Ryujin.” Yeji snaps.

“Aw, thanks, guys.” Felix says, squeezing Yeji in a slightly sweaty hug.

“Wait, wait, guys, they’re announcing the winners,” Jeongin says, accepting a sweaty hug from Felix as well.

They all fall to unusual silence, eyes glued on the emcee as she totters precariously up the stage in six-inch heels.

“…and the second runner-up is… Do Saemi!”

Felix nudges his friends, but they don’t need much encouraging. Everyone claps for the little girl in a frilly cupcake of a dress as she totters up the stage to get her award.

“…our first runner-up this afternoon is… Jeon Jiwoo!”

A couple eyebrows are lifted as another little girl, this time in baggy 90’s hip-hop clothes goes up to get her award, but they all clap nonetheless.

“…and the grand winner of the Spring Dance-Off is…”

Felix feels his Pops put a hand on his shoulder. He couldn’t care less how things turn out, but he knows his Pops will have something to say if he and Changbin don’t win.

_Okay, honestly, they’ve _got_ to admit we were really-_

“Ko Yuri and Han Jaemin with their _adorable_ and _romantic_ tap dance inspired by the hit movie, _Frozen_!”

Felix feels his jaw drop. He doesn’t care how bitchy he looks, because he’s just finding it hard to believe that these two teens in their _Frozen_ costumes beat him and Changbin.

Felix turns to Changbin, who just shrugs with an easygoing smile like, _Ah well, we tried, didn’t we?_

“Uncultured swine.” Felix’s papa mutters under his breath. “You can’t even call what they did _tap_ dancing.”

Felix laughs.

_Later that evening_

A loud sound just outside of Felix’s room makes him and Changbin jump.

“Is Uncle Matt still mad about the contest?” Changbin asks, laughing as he helps Felix tape up a bunch of photos they’d gotten from a photo booth at the amusement park.

“No, he’s probably still dizzy from that roller coaster.” Felix says, pressing a set of photos of him and the girls squished into the tiny photo booth frame. He smiles.

“He could’ve just let Chan go on his own,” Changbin says, ripping off more tape for Felix. “The guy’s like, 22 years old.”

“Is he? Holy shit, I didn’t even realize.” Felix laughs, taking the tape from Changbin. “Thanks.”

He presses down the last of the strips of photos, stepping back to see if they’re aligned. Changbin steps back, too, but he only lasts a second before wrapping his arms around Felix’s waist from behind.

“So, did you like your 18th birthday?” Changbin whispers, resting his lips against the shell of Felix’s ear.

“Loved it,” Felix says, laying his hands on top of Changbin’s. “Although it wasn’t so different from my tenth birthday, now that I think of it.”

Changbin laughs.

“It was a different amusement park, granted, but I _did_ join some dumb dance contest, except I won that one.” Felix rolls his eyes.

Changbin leans his cheek against Felix’s shoulder. “Sorry we didn’t win this one.”

“No, it’s okay, it was just a whatever contest. The judges were just whoever was available, and the prize was just a one-time ticket, not even a yearlong pass.” Felix says, tracing a line aimlessly up Changbin’s forearm. “I’m not even going to tell anyone at school that I joined it for fear of getting kicked out, it’s _that_ bad.”

“So why’d you join in the first place?”

Felix sighs. He doesn’t have a lot of pride left at this point in his life, but whatever ounce is left is pushing the words back down his throat before they can get out.

Changbin gives him a little pinch in the side, which makes Felix yelp and slap him on the arm.

“What was that for?”

“Oh,” Changbin looks at him with wide, faux innocent eyes. “I thought you were falling asleep on me. You weren’t answering.”

“Fuck you.”

Changbin laughs, ducking out of the way before Felix can slap him again. He stumbles on a shirt Felix had dumped on the floor and falls on his ass with a loud thud. “Ow.”

Felix squats next to him. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Changbin opens his arms, smiling widely when Felix leans in instinctively for a hug. “You still haven’t answered my question.”

Felix stays like that, wrapped up awkwardly in Changbin’s arms, because he still can’t bring himself to say it.

“I like it.” Felix mumbles.

“What the hell do you mean? Why are you so shy all of a sudden?” Changbin laughs, patting Felix on the butt. “Silly-”

“I just wanted an excuse for you to dance with me, okay?” Felix grumbles, shaking himself free of Changbin’s embrace. He sits against the wall, crossing his arms. “But you knew that already, you just wanted me to say it out loud, you asshole.”

“What? No, of course not,” Changbin laughs, unable to keep a straight face as he slides across the floor to sit next to Felix. “I had _noooo_ idea.”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“But I’m a good dancer, right?” Changbin asks, resting a hand lazily on one of Felix’s thighs.

“No, you’re actually terrible at dancing, too.” Felix shakes the hand off.

“_What_?” Changbin gasps. Then he starts laughing, pushing Felix over. “Stop it, Bad Felix, go away, begone, the power of Christ compels-”

“I’m not kidding! You’re shit at dancing!” Felix tries to crawl out of the way, but Changbin gets him by the waistband of his jeans and pulls him back under him. “You have _no_ sense of rhythm and your body is a stiff as a motherfucking _corpse_-”

“FELIX!” Changbin’s laughing so hard that tears collect at the corners of his eyes.

“Oh, there you go crying again, typical Changbin,” Felix pretends to roll his eyes as he brushes Changbin’s tears aside. “It’s not a date with Changbin unless someone ends up fucking drenched in tears, is it?”

“Shut up, school’s been really hard lately, okay?” Changbin whines, laying his hands flat on either side of Felix’s head, lowering himself as if for a push-up. Instead of doing a push-up, he kisses Felix lightly on the lips.

Felix looks down at the inches of space between them, then back up at Changbin with both his eyebrows raised. “I can think of something _else_ that’s hard.”

Changbin laughs so hard that his arms give way under him, dumping him on top of Felix.

Felix can hardly breathe like this, for many reasons, but he puts his arms around Changbin anyway. “Hey, Changbin?”

“Yeah, sorry, I know I’m heavy.” Changbin says, climbing off of Felix. Then he looks into Felix’s eyes with enough intensity to set a weaker person on fire. “But like, do you really want to? You know, have sex? I mean, it’s okay now.”

Felix swallows. He’s thought about it a lot, obviously. With a boyfriend like Changbin, it’s a wonder he ever _stops_ thinking about it.

“This is going to sound very stupid…” Felix starts slowly.

“It’s not stupid to ask your boyfriend to have sex with you-”

“No, no,” Felix says, resting his hands on Changbin’s chest to shut him up. “I don’t want that. I want to dance.”

Changbin frowns. “What?”

“I don’t want sex – god, what the _fuck_ am I saying – I don’t want to have sex like, right now, Changbin, I want to dance with you again.”

Changbin looks confused for a moment, then he breaks into a smile like the sun parting the clouds. “You are so weird.”

“I know.” Felix stands up, shuffling though the library on his phone to play some music over his Bluetooth speakers. Then he extends a hand. “Please continue to humor me.”

“Of course,” Changbin says, taking Felix’s hand to pull him flush against his chest. He leans his cheek against Felix’s.

“Sorry, I don’t know, you just,” Felix laughs, a gentle vibration against Changbin’s face. “You make me feel… like…”

Changbin lies next to Felix that night, his heart still beating in his ears, like a song with everything but the percussion taken away. He rests a hand on Felix’s chest, bare and just a little bit sweaty as it rises and falls against his palm, like he’s listening to the same, quiet song.

“Thank you,” Changbin whispers.

“Hm?” Felix turns to face Changbin, his eyes still shut, his eyelashes still fanned out over his slightly flushed cheeks. “Oh, is it common courtesy to thank people after-”

“No, Felix,” Changbin chuckles, pressing a kiss against Felix’s forehead. “I just wanted to thank you.”

“What for?”

“Everything.”

Felix snuggles up against Changbin’s chest, a groggy smirk crossing his lips. “Yeah damn right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! 💕💕💕
> 
> The song Felix and Changbin were dancing to was _[Cheek to Cheek](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOYzFKizikU)_ from the 1935 film _Top Hat_.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has helped me finish this fic (which has been ongoing for almost a whole year??? INSANE)! Thank you to everyone who left kudos and kind/funny/slightly unhinged but still well-meaning comments, to the fanartists who made the baseball boys a REALITY (kind of), to the great people on twitter who continued to humor me when I should have been writing, and of course the biggest thank you my Beloved™ editor & sister, whom I wrote this entire fic for. O ayan, nagsulat na ako ng Changlix, tumahimik ka na diyan 😤
> 
> ...
> 
> The dumb baseball boys will return in _Save The Last Dance for Me_ in 2021. Probably.


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